Some people plan to become life coaches - others 'fall into it'. I think when a person has gone through something so life altering, something that pushed them outside the realms of their authentic self, something that so profoundly changed not only their self perception, but altered their nervous system, dis-regulated their brain and warped their reality..... and yet when they manage to reconnect with self, and heal the deep emotional wounds that are hidden to the naked eye and misunderstood by those that have never been through an experience like that - well, it's only natural to feel a deep desire to want to help others that have been through that. That's how I 'fell into coaching' and it's been an amazing experience to help individuals all over the world to break through the side effects of cptsd and/or side effects of narcissistic abuse. If YOU are interested in becoming a life coach - be sure to check out my website: micheleleenieves.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-coaching-certification/
@lifethroughlens1965
4 жыл бұрын
Mam, one of my known love to dressed up. But one day we were visiting an orphanage and one of my relative said to her don't put luxury items they may feel bad. But she ignored and dressed up in best way possible. Is it ok to behave like this way? What will you consider it being authentic or unempathetic? Please reply.
@MillennialMountainMama
3 жыл бұрын
The link doesn’t work for some reason. 😑
@Frecklesswag
2 жыл бұрын
Amen and amen!!!
@warrencardwell6706
5 жыл бұрын
Who agrees with me that Michele has the number one KZitem channel for helping all of us narcissist abuse survivors 🙂🤗😀
@go-goakins1489
5 жыл бұрын
Warren C I agree with you warren 👍😎
@SkarGig
5 жыл бұрын
Michele is a hero. If I hadn't stumbled across these videos I would have easily fallen back into the trap after the yearly Christmas discard. She's saved my life and my kids life and made me feel enough again that I have the self-worth to seek counseling and move forward in life.
@starlingswallow
5 жыл бұрын
Warren C YES! I was just talking to another friend about this!
@karenthompson9492
5 жыл бұрын
I hadn't realized how much of that behavior I have been doing, exactly that in my head and family life work it's all comin around though
@karenthompson9492
5 жыл бұрын
Oh yes! do agree She do , But I'm not going to be workin on that side of the street just for happiness sake hahahaha you so funny
@orioleaszme3415
5 жыл бұрын
It doesn't sound stupid to someone who has been through it, but I had a breakthroughs when I allowed myself to buy a drink when I was out for longer than I had planned and stopped my cycle of getting dehydration headaches; when I decided that I was worth the effort of carrying a jumper around with me on those days where the weather could change; and when I had the confidence to press the button on a pedestrian crossing because I was valuable enough to ask for traffic to stop for me as if I had the same value as anyone else.
@elizabethmorgan2621
5 жыл бұрын
Totally understand and agree, Oriole. Hope you're doing well, now. I've recovered from narcissistic family members, but it took years. Michele is so amazing!!
@orioleaszme3415
5 жыл бұрын
@@elizabethmorgan2621, Yes Michele is amazing, I am loving this channel -- even if I can't always watch an episode in one session without taking breaks
@orioleaszme3415
5 жыл бұрын
@Doomsday Survivalist , Thank you. All the best to you
@FromSurvivingToThriving
5 жыл бұрын
This comment touched my heart - you are so valuable and beautiful - I'm so glad you are doing things that show yourself that you are - you deserve it - sending you a huge hug!!!
@Feequilts
5 жыл бұрын
Go for it! My favourite saying that impowers me is, “Don’t mind if I do!” I say it often and smile. What would you do knowing you couldn’t fail?
@askme9825
5 жыл бұрын
You’re heavenly sent and you are literally saving my life. Thank you.
@amQUNi
5 жыл бұрын
I agree this is life changing real talk
@FromSurvivingToThriving
5 жыл бұрын
I’m so happy I can help!!
@roshanienarine8421
5 жыл бұрын
I feel the same way thank you.
@lindalambertson4030
5 жыл бұрын
I am beginning to understand my 46 years of marriage now.
@ms.chelleg2068
5 жыл бұрын
Ditto 👏🏽
@Indorise_has_paws
5 жыл бұрын
I used to have really long hair that I couldn't trim 2 inches off of without him hovering and questioning me....when I left, my mom took me to the salon and I got my hair chopped off so it was 2 inches below my ears. It was SO freeing and empowering. It was styled and cute as hell. I told my hairdresser that about how excited I was and why, and she took extra time to show me how to style it myself. She showed me the products and even told me which budget brands at Wal-Mart would be best because the salon's brands were expensive. She had been in an abusive relationship too and understood .
@jenrich111
5 жыл бұрын
Oh yeah the hair control omg i forgot lol
@laurajean1691
4 жыл бұрын
Lol, same here, he wanted me to keep my hair long, right after I left him I got it cut short, and I love it. I get so many compliments.
@andresalvarez1089
3 жыл бұрын
A very therapeutic part of self healing is the acceptance of spending time with or keeping the company of people who make you feel better every time you're with them... In a state of being where no one is comparing/contrasting in a obstructive saboteury way that instigates misery...
@thesurfinsuricate
5 жыл бұрын
When you're programmed since childhood to "serve", it's damn hard to break that habit. I'm kind of a maestro when it on the need and feelings of other but when it comes to myself I'm totally lost. Very good videos Michele...
@mindysmith3683
Жыл бұрын
My dad made me his wife , I married my dad in a new body . I made dad's lunch , mom he ignored, put down . Like I was raised to be better to me , I still hate elec went out as a teen , his air on 3 rd shift , mom in bed but I as a teen had to see dad's junk to get power . Lol I was dad's gal. I left at 18 he called me back, I wasn't his wife, lol I was used
@alicehong7809
3 жыл бұрын
1. Live mindfully present 2. Learn to say No 3. Practice self care ⭐️ (Healthy food, dress well…) 4. No frienemies 5. Forgive yourself 6. Happy place, happy hobbies ⭐️ 7. Let go of your past 8. Trust your gut instincts ⭐️ 9. Stop judging yourself harshly 10. Live an authentic life
@Ame3thyst3
5 жыл бұрын
I get a D in mindfulness, self care, letting go of the past, having a mean inner dialogue, feeling happy only when I'm "needed." I get a B in saying NO to others, being compassionate to myself, enjoying my passion, slowly becoming my authentic self. I get an A in listening to my gut. I think my GPA is about 2.5. It's okay. A year ago I flunked everything!! Great video Michele!!!
@Ame3thyst3
5 жыл бұрын
Congratulations on 110,000 Subscribers Michele!!! I am so proud of you. I want to be like you when I grow up. : )
@FromSurvivingToThriving
5 жыл бұрын
I am soooo proud of you!!!! Each day is another opportunity to practice self love ❤️ 💕 💗 Keep up the good work 😊🤗
@Ame3thyst3
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks Michele! Baby steps but at least they are moving forward. You are truly a Life Saver!!!
@mamadoundoye5427
5 жыл бұрын
You were truly born to do this and living in your higher purpose and I - as well as many others I can tell - resonate with your words in the highest level. Thank you, beautiful.
@ImadeUlook
5 жыл бұрын
I'm SO pleased i found your channel! You just connect to my internal conflict. Thank you 😊
@bobbibacha
5 жыл бұрын
I’m finally getting to the place of self love 💕 I no longer have a must help others attitude
@jenrich111
5 жыл бұрын
Yeah or need external validation. We know our own truth.
@theforeigner6988
5 жыл бұрын
A must help attitude... That's awful right? We want to do it when want, how we want, to whom we want.
@princessncg1
5 жыл бұрын
I need a lot of work on loving myself...
@jensbasement3862
5 жыл бұрын
Loving yourself, also requires standing up for yourself. Something the narcissist despises. They can't stand when you stand in your own truth, and know and validate everything you say and see. Shows how much they need control over your perspective of reality, to remain in control of you. Saying "no" is something I had to learn within the last 2 years. Its empowering to say no. If someone doesn't respect your "no", it shows they don't respect your boundaries.
@crankiemanx8423
5 жыл бұрын
I totally agree,this is outwardly one of the most important things to do & be if one wants to heal & get out of the trap of attracting & associating with a narcassist.
@debrawilson333
5 жыл бұрын
I love the example how would you feel if you were giving really good advice to a friend and they were not listening or cared. Some people don't want help they just want to dump their problems. Their lives never change even though they ask for advice. If we are pouring our hearts into those who are takers, we will come out depleted and exhausted. If we think about how precious our hearts are...we would care for them with dignity, love and preservation. Those who dishonor and disrespect us are not real friends. If a person values themselves, they understand the value in others,. (Love your neighbor as you love yourself.) Their capacity to love is much greater because they have learned to attribute significance and worth in others. This wipes away envy, jealousy, competition and the need to elevate oneself above others by devaluing them as with the narcissist. Some may have a hard time loving self because of the verbal abuse they absorb but are able to love others.The narc is a taker and will only give love to gain full control. The narcissist is a well that is empty and dry, we don't have to be. They come at you like a mirage but once your eyes are truly opened, there is no water. Your future are the choices you make in the present, we need to make our present count.
@et349
5 жыл бұрын
Love the 'mirage' comparison, spot on!
@monave2938
5 жыл бұрын
Yes. Worry if I am doing the right thing, constantly, in almost every situation! 😐Not spending nearly enough time on my hobbies & interests.
@welshwitch2024
5 жыл бұрын
I’m so thankful to you too Michele. I have literally been in love ( addicted to ) with a covert narcissist for eleven years. He’s an alcoholic and the booze suppressed his narcissism enough for me not to notice when with him. I always blamed his behaviour on the comedown of booze withdrawals when he was about to embark on a wagon stint. I was wrong! I was about to move in with him again when it suddenly dawned on me. Nobody can be as cruel as that and show no remorse, ever! So I read the book Whole Again and then discovered you. I am truly blessed. 🙏 This guys has had me wrapped around his manipulative fingers for such a long time. I feel completely lost, hurt, betrayed and totally pissed off. He is 100% a narcissist. I haven’t spoken to him for five days after his disgraceful behaviour, so now he’s bombarding me with messages. No apology of course. 💖 I can’t wait for some sessions with you.
@SheSmilesSlyly
4 жыл бұрын
I'm doing pretty well on a lot of these. I struggle with forgiving myself, letting new people into my life who bring me up and learning to live authentically--which takes a lot of courage after tailoring myself to meet others' needs. I am proud of myself for making progress every day.
@luxetspes4837
5 жыл бұрын
I'm just starting my journey of healing and hardly do any of these. I'm so thankful for the outline because I wouldn't know where to begin or what to include. My most difficult is #2, saying no and creating healthy boundaries. Thanks Michelle, for a "must watch and watch again video!" 😁👍❤
@teresapalmapereira1229
2 жыл бұрын
Raised to please other people...well, think about yourself as someone else and dedicate yourself to please only that person without guilt
@marleneferrer6532
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing this information, I really love your channel so much and I can tell you that self love is the most wonderful feeling a woman can feel, I was in a domestic violence relationship but learning to love my self first gave me courage to leave , I continue with my journey in self love but some times it’s not easy, we have to work every day to feel better . 😘🥰🤗💞🌹
@louisahallman8304
5 жыл бұрын
Marlene Ferrer Your words really r saving my life. I was planning to commit suicide today had a plan. I need to try so hard to do what u shared n love myself first. I've been in this abusive relationship for 32 years n yes the only way I see out is suicide. He even told me that he was ok living w out me if I did kill myself as long as I didn't do it violently. That was in 2013. I have bipolar disorder 2 which is a daily mental challenge every single day n yes he uses it against me. Thank you for your words and I hope I have a speck of self worth so I don't kill myself today
@loveinautumn3978
4 жыл бұрын
@@louisahallman8304 how are you nowadays sweetie? I hope you are in a better place. You are loved and you matter. Never feel like you are alone in this. There are many others who can relate to what you are going through,including myself. Let that toxicity go if you have not already. Choose life and loving yourself. Life is too short to be entertaining people who don't bring light to your life. I had to make a major decision in my life almost two years ago by letting go of a toxic relationship that lasted eighteen years and you can do the same. I haven't looked back since. I'm wishing you peace and love sis,you got this. God will see you through🙏☀️❤
@wendythomas4930
3 жыл бұрын
Awesome about acknowledging the past and then saying look how far I've come!!!! Thank you!😁
@sheilamurry9875
3 жыл бұрын
When a friend says something that is seen and feels like you are headed for emotional, physical damage it takes time for the person that is receiving time to put the opposite pieces together to make a decision. Usually it's harder when you have children because the joy of caring for your children are more of a first priority and with these disgusting sly con-artist abusers it is under the radar. I am not a person who can compete with division that is unfolding but I will stand my ground and remember the happiness and joy that I will strive to have in the aftermath
@sheilamurry9875
3 жыл бұрын
And in time I did/will let my friend know that her awareness was not in vain and I did the best I could do a the time to listen
@sheilamurry9875
3 жыл бұрын
My self-talk is I know human connection is what is needed because we were created by God that way and I have to except people have their ways of doing things. So I have to rest in the lost of acceptance and keep fighting the good fight with and without them knowing that Jesus is by my side
@GMacII
3 жыл бұрын
Love your spirit and energy @Michele more videos like this please! Haven’t seen my counselor in over a year, but I use your videos to do the work. No excuses🙂
@clausholm4130
4 жыл бұрын
Wisdom! its a matter of letting go of what you are not in control of. Once you do that - you find out what you can do. Never sit and feel sorry for yourself - do something about it. Do at least something good and pamper yourself every day and don't feel any shame about doing it. I have a gratitude list and a list of things I need to do, I can skip some because I am over ambitious but I can't skip the one thing where I am pampering myself.
@soheilay6778
5 жыл бұрын
I struggle with letting go of the past. It’s been a year and i’m still thinking about it.
@sarahsoprano773
5 жыл бұрын
I can see you're healing...
@FromSurvivingToThriving
5 жыл бұрын
=)
@sambarreto9639
2 жыл бұрын
Michele ,I really just started doing more for myself.I will be using this video everyday till I get it right.Your advise is off the charts for people like me. You are a Wonderful person, I will be checking out all of your work.Thank you so much Love ❤
@kates8183
5 жыл бұрын
Great timing! I needed to hear all of this. I'm currently working on 9 and 10. 10 is being a real struggle lately. I think part of it is because of number 4. I just seem to keep finding myself surrounded by people that end up using me or that I'm an option, not a priority. I'm not blaming others, but I think it's time to let a bunch of friends go and not try and fit in with them, but to be myself always.
@toriboo6539
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for your video's.I suffer from all the things you mention, and its really hard for me to say and believe positive things about myself, people have said to me, you wear your past on your face. Which was eye opening, but I just dont know how to change it. I have tried saying positive affirmations, which is my false self trying to believe. I watch people who are free in themselves, and Im always thinking am I going to sound dumb or look silly. People always say you are so pretty, and I cannot internalize it, I will point out my flaws. I hate my side profile so I can never be comfortable in a social setting. I want to be free of this self sabotage, I hope its possible so far not working. Im not a depressed person, just dealing with my mental jail. How can I move forward with being my real self. Writing this comment is very therapeutic by the way.
@KJ-pu8dw
5 жыл бұрын
A great channel with true advice. Played this one twice in a row.
@CK-wu9vd
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for communicating our individual needs in a comprehensive way. Your mode of speech is very gentle and empowering! I am currently struggling with answering to my needs. This snowballs into negative self-talk, poor boundaries, internalizing others opinions of me or moods, droughts in happiness, and lack of internal validation. I tend to think in the ways you said. Such as what am I doing to cause others mistreatment of me, what can I do to make the other person love me in a way that compliments my needs, and so on. I defeat myself everyday rather than build myself up. I try self-care but end up feeling selfish. Which means I am allowing the other person to decide my value. It's tiring. I am going to adapt your techniques to my unique inner self because you are right I am worthy of my own love. If they don't like me loving myself and valuing myself, I will learn to accept that this is their internal turmoil, not my own.
@lynnchia3661
Жыл бұрын
Just want to appreciate you for the work that you do and the articulation, communication gift that you have. Your videos have really helped me in my recovery journey. God bless you! Sending blessings and every happiness your way. Thank you so much!
@larshenningsen6374
4 жыл бұрын
i was not completely oblivious of this but now i know why I've been doing it for so many years
@geraldinemckernan9129
5 жыл бұрын
Michelle I have used the time that I ruminated on other people ....to learn a new Language ...which is going good ...p.s You do a Stella of a job thank you 😘
@redZibra
4 жыл бұрын
Michele Lee Nieves, good job well done.
@wonderwoman8970
5 жыл бұрын
To think I almost would not listen to your videos because he left me for a Michelle. I used to just fast forward your introduction So I wouldn’t hear the name, I hope that doesn’t offend you. It’s not personal it was just my hurt was so big. Thank you for helping , Michelle.
@wendyrabovsky6195
5 жыл бұрын
Very grateful I found this today!
@janicemurphy4373
5 жыл бұрын
You Are a true coach I love the step by step coaching you do for us narc survivors I appreciate that your thinking thourghly is for our good!!!!!!!!! I have learn more about being myself and not to be mean about it but to be real!!!!! I am more conscience of saying what I mean and mean what I say and not be mean about it!!!!!!!!! I have notice everybody gets to be themselves but I have to be pleaseing to them !!! I can't do that anymore and I love myself for that!!!!! thankyou Michele for such good info
@MJ-qb5ph
2 жыл бұрын
Your BS radar is now sharper than a sharks tooth! Also you are beautiful inside and out Michelle. Bless and thank you from australia
@thetemplelaboratory
4 жыл бұрын
My friend told me she was stressed out & might not be able to make our plans for yoga in the park the following day. I suggested she write down everything she planned to do the next day, and then visualize each task as if they are in the act of doing them. She told me sometimes that's even more stressful. So I suggested she used the lavender essential oil I gave her for her birthday last year (she never used it/thus far) and to help her calm down and sleep. She told me she has no troubles sleeping. So planning your day out in advance is stressful and stress (fight or flight mode) doesnt affect sleep patterns. News to me! I knew she was going to cancel the following day and she did. It's as if she wanted me to feel hopeless and powerless. She likes it when Im feeling down. Looking back she always sides with my Mother when I talk about her narcissistic abuse. This is someone I've considered to be my best friend for the last 3 years. I'm going to have to cut ties with her for good. There's a lot of people I'm going to stop responding to. They don't need a letter of resignation, they wouldnt accept it anyway. We become like the people we surround ourselves with and I'm so thankful the internet has lead me to your content, Michelle.
@michellepd2002
4 жыл бұрын
I survived an abusive narcissist mother and an alcoholic father only to pick an mentally and emotionally abuse husband. Trifecta!!! I lived through this abuse for 47 years only because God carried me as a child, then He has walked with me daily ever since. I am alone now, but I survived! Now I am learning to love myself for the first time ever. My narcissist egg donor constantly blamed me for everything that ever made her unhappy (and that was A LOT). She constantly told me I was stupid, lazy and unlovable on a daily basis (just so I wouldn't forget, I guess?) Then, just for fun, she sabotaged anything she thought would make me happy.
@andristark
2 жыл бұрын
this may be the best video I saw about this topic
@gabrielaburcea5734
4 жыл бұрын
I was reading an extraordinaire blog about narcissistic abuse in my own language recently and it said rumination is actually good. It is normal to ruminate when nad after going through that shit in order to understand, learn and grow. And it reminded me of your video about ruminating as a negative waste of time and here you say it again. I agree with the first idea: while it takes a big part of your energy, thinking about the past (or present difficulties) in order to make any sense of them, is vital. I doubt i would have ever understood anything without it. So far it is the only thing on which i don't agree with you.
@nikkiritchie3355
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you Michell! These are wonderful steps! 💗
@kavitayadav9557
5 жыл бұрын
I am so so so so proud of you Michele. What you're doing is very important for me and those who are going through narcissist abuse. It's helping me a lot. I needed to hear this today. Thank you. Love, from India. ❤
@PenninkJacob
3 жыл бұрын
Spending time with a narcissist is like trying to hold your hand in the flame of a blow torch, then when you pull your hand back screaming in pain they accuse you of "Giving up"....
@Frank1life2live
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Michele!
@ellasladek3124
5 жыл бұрын
Thankyou for your good advice , it took me two years to forgive myself for giving my life over to a covert narc , I didn’t know he was , I have lost my personality my health and my money ,but ,hit bottom,and am working my way back up now ,with the help from people like you Thank you for sharing
@BeingRashmi43
4 жыл бұрын
One of the best video on self-love ♥️♥️♥️
@reverendrobin6731
5 жыл бұрын
Michelle is #1 for learning N behavior, thank you! I applied all 10 to my life, before I knew this was narcissist I was dealing with. I was 8 months no contact. I got a call from a #i recognized, called it back , and he answered! (Still not knowing this was narcissist I was dealing with). I rolled with it (I was driving home from Orlando). Fast forward to a month from that day, I found out through my narcissist mother, who couldn’t hold back anymore, that she had been in contact with him for a year! She also told me he befriended my neighbor across the street(smear campaign), who had been telling him m every move! So wen both of them decided to stop talking to him, is when he called me. Move forward to December 2018, a friend started to send me narcissist videos, up popped Michelle’s, I watch a video a day, or two to educate myself. Fast track to present month (February). I am loving myself, self care, back in college since last January (part of my self care). He found out he has rectal cancer, I have brought him to his surgeries (along with my college books that I continue to read). He is now going through kemo, and wanted me to be there, I told him I needed to sleep (u all know how that went) I continued with my self love, working, working overtime, college, taking care of what else was important to me. He can deal with his treatments, he doesn’t need a ride, I’m not a punching bag for him. It will be going back to no contact again. The positive side for me is that I have my own house, and he had to move out of my house, I can support myself. These things are a big deal to a woman if they don’t have the funds to do this themselves. I keep positive and don’t let his negativity influence me. Michelle thank u for these video’s. I thank everyone else for your shared comments. Peace, love respect. R
@stevenhiggins9985
4 жыл бұрын
I'm here taking notes. That says something. Just started starting my day w controlled deep relaxing empowering breathing. As Im deep breathing b4 I get out of bed. I think observe don't absorb observe do not absorb do not absorb just observe. This helps me stay in the moment in the present moment. Still living w fem. Covert/Malignant. So being in the moment is SO important. I've been labling and writing down the moments that stand out. The (negative memories) videos that I obsorbed. And allowed to control my response to external stuff. Ex: Mom n I driving through town, I'm 6 or 7, I say - look thats Mike McClintock's house, He's the boy w red hair in my class. Mom says, so what? So u know somebody, Shut up sit back in yer seat. Are u feeling the love? I was pulled out of class 2nd or 3rd grade. Teachers accused me of stealing from teachers purse. Birchrun elementary. 3 adults. Poking my chest w finger tip. Telling me I did this. I was clueless. Pissed because they were adamant it was me but it wasn't. So I said, yeah I did it. Took it n threw it in the river n youll never find it. Hah. They called State police. Took me to state police post put me in a cell next to adult men. Waited for my dad to get there. He had to leave work took good hour + to get there. Officers took me from cell to an office where the cop behind the desk had the bars he was the man I did not know that my dad walked in behind me they sat me in a chair and the cop asked me why I confess to something I didn't do I shrug my shoulders and said I don't know my dad stepped forward and slap me with his hand so hard it knocked me out of the chair knock the chair down I rolled and hit the wall the two cops in the room slam my father up against the wall with their elbow against his throat telling him they will bury him so deep in this jail for child abuse. So on the way home my father punched me in the face my head hit the window. Telling me what a retard I was for confessing to something I didn't do. Right after the cops took me away the kid who did it confessed. I was slapped and punched a few times before we made it home then was sent to bed without dinner. I am trying to wrap my head around all this. Trying to understand why I would say I did something I didn't do for 1. Yeah it is painful recalling and labeling these moments if I allow it to be painful that is. But it's all healing I'm learning One Foot In Front of the other best I can do. You know there's a ton more I could share. Just thought I would share this bit out of respect and for self-love
@ZaphodsPlanet
3 жыл бұрын
I am getting better at some of these things, for example, I'm 35-40% more likely to not call myself the useless sack of shit I used to call himself. LOL. I think in this video,or another, you made a great analogy that will help push my farther down the right path in that if I catch myself getting so harsh with myself I just have to remember the people who used to pull that on me 24/7.
@005HegeFredriksen
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this beautiful video! Keep on shining. Kind regards.
@dublinlassdana6544
Жыл бұрын
I’m gonna tell you something I have been married to the same man over 24 years and I’ve been with him for close to 30. I had seven children with him and we have two grand children now. In the beginning of our marriage I didn’t see it I didn’t think he was a narcissist. I didn’t think anything bad about him because I loved him so much and I thought he loved me. When we had our children and we went through life He blamed me for everything that went wrong. He blamed me for every mistake and problem yet I still didn’t leave because of the kids!! we still have our two young children here at home 14 and almost 12 and I can’t I can’t bring myself to leave. It’s because of the kids I couldn’t they deserve to have their parents at home and I just couldn’t do it!!so what did I do? Well I took it!!! All of it! I took everything…all the blame for everything!I’m the scapegoat, even my kids do it now my older children may blame me. They tell me this and that & they think it’s all in my head and that I’m choosing not to be happy!! they tell me everything‘s in my head because that’s what their dad did. I am not good enough to my husband no matter what I do I will never make him happy. I could be perfect and he would still find faulting me and the hard part is & I know that maybe other people have told you this before but when I see my husband and I see his family, I see his background and I tell you this, my husband is not smart enough to know that he is a narcissist. He truly does believe the things he tells me to do and advice he so-called gives me will help me because he wants to help me. He’s even said that to me so Iam I not supposed to believe anything he says is good, do you know how hard this is I can’t look at him and think he’s just a horrible person. It tears me apart inside..how are we supposed to deal with that?? I feel like life is mundane & I wish I was a robot so I could just do do do and feel nothing sometimes…, it isn’t worth it it to fight… I’m almost 50, I’m too old to start over..it is a sucky deal!!
@fleadoggreen9062
3 жыл бұрын
No time caring for me! Always for others
@lorcenfia6013
5 жыл бұрын
I practically dont do any! Thank you! I needed this so much! I ll start with the guts instinct. I am usually regretting and in pain so i hope to make a click soon doing these 10 things. I only did nr 10 naturally all my life but the rest i ll have to start doing. Thanks a lot. 💙💙💙💙💙
@Sandra-fc8pc
Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! I really needed this! ❤🙏
@mikeskeins1981
Жыл бұрын
im new from an abusive narc. but now with the no contact i cant get the love bombing out of my head and keep feeling the love i gave her. whole hearted unconditional love i had. but i ended it and now i cant stop thinking , wishing i had them back.. 😢 i know it was a dream relationship but it feels so real.. i need help getting this out of my body/head.
@solmassages9732
4 жыл бұрын
I am doing 6.5 out of 10. I feel pretty good about that! I have come a long way in my life and I still have 33% left to upgrade!
@reettaelina
5 жыл бұрын
Yes, me and my daughter and son have been! Thank you for your awesome videos, we all feel so much better now!
@prietyshah5548
4 жыл бұрын
You are amazing , you are saviour😍, Keep inspiring ,lots of love 😍😍😍😍
@ema9682
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you, this is very empowering!
@Pio85Pio
4 жыл бұрын
Michele, you are such an Angel! I love to listen your videos.
@darnagutter9645
5 жыл бұрын
Smart Lady. Experience is a teacher. God bless you for sharing your knowledge. 🌷
@melveniagriffin1396
5 жыл бұрын
I loved this and needed this. Thank you
@go-goakins1489
5 жыл бұрын
Such an uplifting and educational segment! 👏🙏thanks Michelle Your segments are inspiring 👍
@go-goakins1489
5 жыл бұрын
Your children are blessed to have a great mother like you💐
@tonjasweat5735
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for saving me mentally😳Explains everything
@brownskingirlbowens4619
4 жыл бұрын
I have learned to hold my narc to his words. He says he is in a committed relationship and wants to follow the golden rule, whatever that means to him. So, I told him I ok with it because I know who you are. I love and care about you as a person so I won't ask you to do something that goes against your golden rule. As I knew he would. He toss the golden rule aside and all his falsehoods about being so in love and wanting to be faithful ect. He just can't be the person he so desperately wants to be. He does not know how to be honest with himself because he does not know who he is. His mask slips and I see him everytime it does. He hates that about me. I see him and love him as he is. I won't play his games or be played. He is who he is and I accept. Period. I am better without him.
@youwotma1199
5 жыл бұрын
Ohmygosh youre like a big sister i never had❤❤ love you Michelle god bless
@lolaapelt8616
5 жыл бұрын
REALLY good info, I esp liked what you said about your daughter's revelation. I mean, how much time and pain have you saved her right there?? SO wish I'd had this info when I was younger, who knows how different my life would be?
@pietmorrison5285
4 жыл бұрын
I can understand your acknowledgement of these features. I can relate to them to varying degrees. What l can't understand is why l become unaffected if l have to be alone, or be around persons who don't appreciate me. As long as I don't I don't have interact with --ve personalities I am OK and still remain happy. I guess I have been in the trenches for some time now, it has fought me how to fight well and enjoy life at the same time.
@AgelessBeauty777
5 жыл бұрын
I'm on my way to Johnny Rockets for a celebration burger, 🍟, and shake. Woohooo I'm free!
@216trixie
5 жыл бұрын
That's the spirit!
@louisedavies5599
5 жыл бұрын
you go girl!! x
@sweetnothing0027
5 жыл бұрын
Be happy always.stay blessed.
@karenthompson9492
5 жыл бұрын
That's what I was looking for my gratitude and love and blessings to you
@aliashine5667
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@kaystill8358
3 жыл бұрын
It took me several years. Need to work on my Passion, Happy Place.. ( I love to create Art).
@jayb2175
2 жыл бұрын
getting present is the hard part..
@ChrisShea25
3 жыл бұрын
I feel like I learned about myself more saying know I never do I don't eat enough I drink to not love myself enough
@ChrisShea25
3 жыл бұрын
I feel everything you say made me feel better about myself
@mookimentality7837
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Michele! I love this
@ericapedersen4703
Жыл бұрын
Thank you
@LotusStorm
5 жыл бұрын
This is great stuff. Thank you so much for this.
@ralitsavasileva4568
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this.
@Praveen-cl8hn
5 жыл бұрын
WONDERFULL INSIGHT MAM ...THANKS A LOTTT
@inzichte
Жыл бұрын
5, 6, 7 I can do more.
@Jettingred4
5 жыл бұрын
Excellent advice ty!
@idelsiapeay6639
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so very very much!! I think I have wash everyone of your videos thank you💐👏
@Demebeso714
5 жыл бұрын
Outstanding Video!!!!!
@christyb9487
4 жыл бұрын
This was great info. Thanks so much!!! 1&2 I struggle with, do you have more tips on how to?
@HoneyDrops2023
3 жыл бұрын
I suppose the biggest question I have after watching a lot of these videos is how do we balance self love without becoming cold and uncaring like the narcissistic people we escaped. I think we should be self aware and protective, but I hate the idea of turning my back on ppl who may genuinely need me.
@veronicamerchant9403
5 жыл бұрын
great video!
@lorrainesaavedra2241
10 ай бұрын
Hi Michelle. I have enjoyed your podcasts, but there is one thing that I cannot come to terms with. How are we supposed to let go of the past, and at the same time continue to educate ourselves on what happened to us, and more importantly, how to heal from it. It seems contradictory because when I watch the podcasts to educate myself, I am also going back each time and remembering every single thing that happened, good and bad. So, do we continue to educate ourselves or do we let go of the past.???
@Rebel6832
5 жыл бұрын
Struggling with All
@mayaalexandramilivojevic8246
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you a lot, Michele! How to download A self-help journal I MISS ME & I WANT ME BACK?
@sarahcook908
5 жыл бұрын
I'm trying so hard. :(
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks a lot ✨💛😍
@Vicky14ist
5 жыл бұрын
I would like to ask you something: Could you explain to me, is it always the outcome that when a child experiences emotional abuse or lack of love this would automatically produce a harsh, cruel adult with narcissistic characteristics or is it just some people that would turn out this way? Can a person grow up to be a kind, gentle individual even if they experienced cruelty and abuse as a child? If so, what would be the determining factor that causes a person to choose adopt these characteristics and keep them all throughout their lives?
@ChrisShea25
3 жыл бұрын
My question is when you come from a broken home and hit the bottom how do you come back I have lost all my family and bestfriends in last 20 years not to drugs maybe 1 but how do I live life if I care to much I lost my mom stepdad uncle grandpa and both grandma's and friends how do I deal with 20 deaths in 20 years my heart is hurting
@ChrisShea25
3 жыл бұрын
Lost my mom at 47 I'm about to be 42
@Angel-ld8dq
4 жыл бұрын
🇧🇷 Obrigado 💖Thank you🥺🙏
@JohnDoe-lt3kw
5 жыл бұрын
You are Gorgeous !!!
@feelgood2343
5 жыл бұрын
Hi! How much time passed from when you realized he was a narcissist and started educating yourself, and the day you ACTUALLY left? Please. Thank you! (I'm afraid i'll never leave)
@FromSurvivingToThriving
5 жыл бұрын
One year - I was in therapy getting stronger - tried to give tough love and help him see that if he didn’t get help he would lose his family - he refused saying I was the only one that needed help. My advice to you is rather than focus on leaving - focus on getting stronger one day at a time - living as who you truly are more and more each day, exercising self love and self compassion, onservicing rather than absorbing the toxicity. If you do those things your decision will be clear and you will have the strength to carry them out.
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