I would call myself a quiet borderline. There are others very like me. We self-isolate because we know that the pain we feel inside is huge and that it would be a negative thing for people to deal with and that bothers us. So, we keep to ourselves. We don't want to negatively impact anyone's life.
@kaylaschroeder1
Жыл бұрын
Yes. 😞
@jackgoff6215
Жыл бұрын
Yeah… i feel as thought others shouldnt be burdened by me. Like i will drag everyone down with me
@nc5809
Жыл бұрын
Damn
@SergioGarcia-qn3zq
Жыл бұрын
I tell myself that I have bad luck and warn everybody that death is always near me
@ajhproductions2347
Жыл бұрын
To the T. To the friggin T. I don’t want to poison anyone else with the kind of toxicity I feel. I don’t want to have to fake it and pretend things are fine.
@Cowface
Жыл бұрын
Sometimes if you say you love them, and they feel they are unlovable, they reconcile this by just assuming that you’re lying
@jamesgerboc
Жыл бұрын
I would like to learn more about your comment. Something happened in my relationship around this that I have struggled to understand for several years.
@andrewmalcolm79
Жыл бұрын
@@jamesgerboc Nature recently published on hereditary epigenetic changes in BPD people as a consequence of abuse in childhood (dependency). It seems reasonable to assume that our collective evolutionary history might include both Amish communities, or something similar, and war zones, and that an individual might be better served by different patterns of gene expression in each of those different circumstances. In the war zone example it might, from an evolutionary perspective, pay dividends to go to lengths to ensure that any potential mate is the sort to pray on others before their own children and promiscuity might not be such a bad strategy. In an Amish community, I assume, not being Amish myself, entirely inappropriate. Nature have shown that these aren't simply conscious decisions, the salience of our options is mediated by our genes, our epigenetics and our evolutionary history. Borderline personality disorder was so called because patients seemed to live on the border between neurosis and psychosis. Cinema Therapy recently reviewed Netflix Arcane in which Powder aka Jinx is pushed into psychosis by multiple childhood traumas. Her sister, Vi, tries to connect with her by reminding her of who she used to be, by urging her to remember how things were when they were a gang of childhood friends. (To be clear, I'm arguing that this is roughly analogous to a non BPD person insisting to the BPD person that she (or he) is loved.) I recommend it. kzitem.info/news/bejne/kpeirJlpZnWYgKQ The BPD person doesn't need to know that she is loved, except in so far as we all do, except the psychopaths, maybe, but it's not top of the list. Top of the list is knowing *knowing*, because she *knows* that law enforcement is an aspiration if not a con, that when it comes to the crunch people make a lie of all the principles that they espouse, *knowing* that her partner isn't going to prey on any children that they might have together and put her in the position of having to decide whether or not she aught to kill him in his sleep and feed him to the children. Is all that happening consciously? No, probably not.
@feboptopt
Жыл бұрын
I confirm this because that is just how i used to do
@sirrantsalott
Жыл бұрын
Yes that’s true, when you say or show love, they believe you’re acting 😢 sad
@jamesgerboc
Жыл бұрын
@CH Thanks for sharing. I have always been puzzled by a similar experience. We had been dating for about 10 months. Everything was perfect in every way. We were drinking one evening and in a very romantic storybook moment I said, "I think I'm falling in love with you." She smiled. Fast-forward 3 months and I told her I missed her. I questioned how the frequency of our "dates" was falling off. She said, "If you hadn't said, 'I love you,' everything would be different. I was taken back and very confused. To this day, I wonder.
@JennyNobody
Жыл бұрын
“It’s a complete and utter failure, they might as well be dead” this made me laugh out loud. It’s ludicrous hearing someone else say that out loud when I’ve thought it so many times…
@gnicole13
Жыл бұрын
I also started cracking up at that moment lmfaoo I’ve thought this more times than I can count but hearing someone actually say it loud makes you realize how absolutely ridiculous that thought process is 😂
@maxbrown2684
Жыл бұрын
Yep these videos certainly helped provide a sense of perspective for dark times. No matter what diagnosis or none at all 👌
@LM-uq9nv
Жыл бұрын
Agreed
@margaretthomson395
Жыл бұрын
Same here. Still do
@cynsrsly1545
Жыл бұрын
I laughed at that myself because I felt like I could’ve designed some invitations better. The event has long past and it still irks me. 😂
@sarakshik
Жыл бұрын
The criticism part is so relatable. I don't even actively do it, but my brain does interpret it in such a drastic way, that if someone were to tell me "red is not your color" I would never ever wear red again
@sunshinecompany1
Жыл бұрын
I believe, underneath all NPD and BPD, the root of the problem is CPTSD.
@mycrowmedicine
Жыл бұрын
I agree…
@kerrymillar1267
Жыл бұрын
I agree and insecure attachments
@Ryukikon
Жыл бұрын
Cptsd does not exist
@Nutmeg142
Жыл бұрын
@@Ryukikon you obviously don’t have it then
@JennyNobody
Жыл бұрын
I agree
@peebbeep4830
Жыл бұрын
I just want to start by saying I know for a fact I have quiet borderline. I was hospitalized after a drug overdose and had to stay in a residential mental hospital for 9 months. This particular wing of the hospital was meant for girls with borderline personality. they used dialectical behavior therapy, taught us the skills, primary and secondary emotions and we practiced mindfulness all day. I was only 16 at the time but i already knew I identified with everything I knew about BPD, and I assumed I had been officially diagnosed since I was there. I realized pretty fast that the girls I was living with were explosive, unpredictable and really angry but they were also more extroverted confident and carefree. Honestly I was used to feeling alienated or different from everyone so I didn’t think too much of it, just that these girls were like nothing I’d seen before. When I got out and started outpatient therapy I found out I wasn’t diagnosed with BPD, instead it said “Borderline traits and MDD” Im like 99% sure that’s because I didn’t act like the stereotypical, crazy, manipulative borderline-yet I still fit the diagnostic criteria?😮 I started seeing a new therapist recently and I brought up the fact that I think I have bpd because I was explaining some relationship stuff and she immediately cut me off and said “oh no you don’t seem like you have bpd” I said well,, we just met and I know there’s more than one way of presenting but she laughed and said there’s no way? I’m tired of professionals making a salary I can only dream of and still holding so much stigma. It hurts so much every time someone acts like all borderlines are just female narcissists. Even when my mental health was the worst it’s ever been I never wanted to manipulate anyone:/ all I wanted was for my mom to hug me and say it’s okay. Im proud of you for being here-
@rl5725
Жыл бұрын
Seems like u want to have bpd even when highly trained professionals say u don't. Narsisst maybe
@peebbeep4830
Жыл бұрын
@@rl5725 I don’t care if you think I’m a narcissist or whatever but who the fuck is wishing they had bpd????😭 Like that’s wild lmao. if my brain was normal I’d probably be too busy having dreams, goals, and friends to even know what bpd is The “highly trained professional” actually wasn’t qualified to diagnose anything, that’s not what she way trying to do anyway and I also didn’t ask her to but My bpd was later confirmed by a professional that is allowed to do that, that’s why I said it’s a fact I have bpd in the beginning. They also explained that my chart said “borderline traits” because I was 16 at the time and you can’t have a full bpd diagnosis until you’re 18 and up until that point no one took me seriously about it
@Teggie427
Жыл бұрын
I am glad you're here! I understand your battle. My 16 yo most likely has bpd or quiet bpd. But, because of her age, they also label it as borderline traits. And she has seen multiple professionals who say she probably is bpd, but we won't diagnose her because of her age.
@sussyduckx
11 ай бұрын
@@rl5725 I don't think anyone "wants" to have BPD. Nobody that really knows what it is anyway. I think personality traits play a lot into how BPD is expressed. I think people that present more outwardly probably are more extroverted and I think that those with introverted personality traits probably internalize more. I think it's all very dependent on environment and just the person. I'm so good at hiding my struggles that many wouldn't believe that I have the ones that I do but I do. They especially began to show after I stopped using drugs. Narcissism is a spectrum and there isn't a person on this earth who doesn't have narcissistic traits or fall somewhere on that spectrum. Narcissistic personality disorder is a completely different thing though. There's a pretty big difference between borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. Although borderlines Do have narcissistic traits, They are not full blown narcissists. They have manipulative tendencies, especially when fearing abandonment. That's why I think it's up to some of us to recover and help others. There's not nearly enough people trained to do cognitive behavioral therapy or dialectical behavioral therapy. In one of my psych classes they were talking about taking bits and pieces out of these therapies and trying to use them just because it's such a complicated kind of therapy and it takes a long time and consistent effort between client and therapist. I don't think we should try to make shortcuts when it comes to helping people get better. In fact, I think that's part of the problem in mental health now is that we like to take so many shortcuts. I can't tell you how many times I've been handed a pill before I've been handed real therapy. And I'm not denying that medication doesn't help people but more often than not people need real therapy and sometimes both.
@The_NutritionChef
10 ай бұрын
💖🫶
@Anathariel
Жыл бұрын
1 - People pleasing ✅ 2 - Passive/Agressive Behavior ✅ 3 - Need for Perfection ✅ High standards for themselves 4 - Wearing Masks; being a chameleon ✅ 5 - Flight/Freeze response; no fight ✅ 6 - Being unlovable to them ✅Rejection is inevitable; pushing away until people leaves. 7 - Higher empathy ✅ 8 - Taking things personally ✅ 9 - Sensitivity to criticism ✅ 10 - Submissive or Regressive behavior ✅ Well; and despite all this I still think i'm faking my problems. 😞
@szymonbaranowski8184
11 ай бұрын
we all do, I do more when I strongly say to myself I can more than my mind says I can. literally doing better by commanding myself from 3rd person perspective above myself lol it seems crazy but works 🤷
@1w598
11 ай бұрын
Wow that's me to a TEEE. I thought i was the only one. It sucks so bad, but i try to imagine before internet communication, when people had no idea or awareness that it was even a "thing" that others experienced. Now THAT would suck even more.
@alexryberg5946
11 ай бұрын
wow, that last part.. i often end up thinking that i don't suffer from borderline at all. I believe i am faking mental illness for no god damned reason at all.
@meinungabundance7696
10 ай бұрын
Higher empathy is not part of the picture, dont flatter yourself.
@Allexz
10 ай бұрын
@@meinungabundance7696people might share some criterias for attaining the diagnose of bpd but that alone does not mean that two people with the diagnose have anything else alike. It seems you have personal experience with a person. That doesnt make it okay to bash another for what happened to you.🎉
@JohnGeorge-pw2xo
4 ай бұрын
I was diagnosed with borderline 18 years ago as a teenage. Spent my whole life fighting borderline disorder. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
@DassHibionada
4 ай бұрын
Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.
@Caroljoyce-mp8sk
4 ай бұрын
Yes sure of Dr.benfungi
@AnnaRoth-pb8xv
4 ай бұрын
Yes he's Dr.benfungi.Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
@AlexanderMales-gh8bm
4 ай бұрын
I would like to know from those who have solved PTSD and anxiety, if they have solved it definitively and how to understand what quantity of psilocybin to take and when, for how long. And can you really heal without having an addiction? Thanks to everyone for helping me understand, I want to understand if it's something that can help me solve the problem (I have c-ptsd)
@naomi6122
4 ай бұрын
same for me! i have bpd besides a few other diagnosis and recently started microdosing. i can already feel how its benefitting me greatly after 2 weeks. i can recommend anyone to at least try it.
@starr613
Жыл бұрын
Sounds like me. Was raised by a single dad with a narcissistic step mom and abusive step siblings. Sexually abusive blood brother and step brother. Decided to try and do the healing alone because most therapists or psychologists will not understand the pain or trauma and diagnose me with depression .. it's sad :/ so little support some of us have
@starr613
Жыл бұрын
And the step mom divorced my dad when I had moved out and took most of what he had so we are struggling and have a strained relationship because I don't really trust him lol
@stephaniep1761
Жыл бұрын
I feel the same in regards to a therapist. Another individual cannot understand the depth of pain one experiences. Healing comes from within. However, expressing one's experience can release the hormones that can guide us out of a depressive state. The therapist must be without bias and non-judgemental.
@cherylthompson2731
Жыл бұрын
💯
@nimanixo
4 ай бұрын
So true it seems no psychologist or mental health professional is really professional at all none of them want to help they just think everyone has depression I hope one day there will be a 100% cure for every mental illness
@18_rabbit
6 күн бұрын
@@nimanixo do u hear yourself? U r falling into the same trap that others have re the irrational doubts about the vast majority of MD's visavis the covid vax etc. They are ALL actually pro's enough to make reasonable decisions about our mental health. That IS how this works! Your worries are very misplaced. Trust us older ppl who have seen all this before, all of it! Now thankfully there's more awareness of mental health but it's slow going w/ the general public, most folks still so uncomfortable for various reasons today i guess in particular w/ the social violence happening in a few ways. I wish u well in healing. If u dn't like your counselor, absolutely keep changing to others until u find one. Group therapy very useful for many ppl, dunno in this issue tho
@Leslie-ye2is
4 ай бұрын
This video has blown me away, I've never heard anyone describe my traits, personality, behaviour and constant internal battle with fear and insecurity. It's quite an enlightenment.
@vanitas1983
Жыл бұрын
People with these symptoms often suffered abuse and trauma as children that they have not dealt with. Everyone is a product of their environment. Recovery and learning healthier ways of relating is possible with awareness, effort, and support.
@gus8310
11 ай бұрын
I think I might have this disorder, but I see it as a gift, I have sublimated it into my love of philosophy, and these very strong emotions pull me in all sorts of directions and show me some fascinating insights into the human condition.
@clintonnagy1662
5 ай бұрын
You are a kind soul to except your affliction as a gift. I suffer from BPD and see the deepest love and suffering for someone as a gift despite the relationship falling apart. When I have an episode, I focus all my attention into artwork and make the best pieces. Then look back, and remember how I felt to create those pieces of beauty. To every darkside, there is light. As above, so below.
@maureenseel118
Жыл бұрын
I was diagnosed with borderline a couple weeks ago. The interpreting other people's moods as negative, then taking it personally... oh dear. That's me. 😢 Growing up, it was a means of survival. My mom had borderline, poly-substance abuse... She didn't get help or therapy. Her moods were so volatile, you had to be ready for the switch/split at a moments notice.
@NotKimiRaikkonen
4 ай бұрын
Been there. I'm like a ninja at tiptoeing around people's emotions now...
@One-Goth
Жыл бұрын
I think that I fit a lot of this catagory. It is so difficult to deal with. Emotions are so intense that sometimes it feels as if you are breaking apart. And yes, the perfection. Everything I do has to be perfect. A painting is never finished. A book is never completed, because it is not perfect.
@BrillGirl82
Жыл бұрын
Same here 😢 I was actually diagnosed with BPD back in 2011. Then later told it was CPTSD (BPD and CPTSD have many overlaps). Whether or not I actually am BPD, I certainly have a lot of the traits. I hear you and I’m sending a hug
@jimig399
Жыл бұрын
I appreciate that your trying to do a self examination. It can be difficult to face yourself. I had to face myself many years ago. I was about to say that mine came easy because I had plenty of motivation after a death experience. But I guess there's nothing easy about dying for a few minutes and coming back so I think I was about to sell myself short. 😂 It provided me the motivation and determination that I needed to change my toxic behaviors and stop blaming others...and using others...and hurting others by lying, manipulating and betraying anyone who trusted me. The supply of motivation and determination was constant and consistent and kept me free of denial and delusions to get in my way... so in that sense you might say that part was easy comparatively. In speaking and listening to others on the topic some have told me how easy it was to backslide and lose all conviction to change. I didn't have that problem because during my short lived demise I had a tremendous vision of the afterlife. I had a visit with St Peter at heavens gates. I witnessed as people were judged for their deeds on this earth. Both good deeds and bad deeds were weighed, measured and carefully compared. I could clearly see the pain on the faces of those with much regret, shame and resentment as their deeds were laid out before them for all to see. Conversely i could see the contentment and joy on the faces of those who had lived pious, humble and honest lives. You can only imagine how many different scenarios that could play out at the moment your deeds are laid bare. Like someone who did something terrible and hid it for the rest of their lives. Basically living a lie. Maybe even having completely changed their ways out of fear or guilt but were never held accountable for their crimes. I can only imagine how those outcomes are determined. But I saw clearly that we are each and every one judged for our true worth. And suddenly I was back. And immediately I was stricken with fear and the knowledge that my account was in deficit. Everything I had done I was keenly aware of. And I was determined to make apologies, amends and even restitution in a few instances. That was 32 years ago. I didn't clear them all. Some people just didn't want nothing to do me. I feel confident now that I've done my best to be an honorable and considerate human being. The most challenging thing I've encountered is trying to teach empathy to an a apathetic person. My wife is that person. You reminded me of her when you said that sometimes your emotions are so intense that the world feels as if it is breaking apart. She has told me exactly this. She has a bad habit of putting things off for tomorrow that she could have done today. Should have done today. Anything that can be done or said today...in my opinion, should always be done today. You should put nothing off until tomorrow. Tomorrow may not come for you or someone to whom you did not say something you should have said. That can and will only turn into a regret or a resentment that will haunt your conscious mind and when you have things attacking your consciousness it can quickly get out of sync and make you feel like everything is a total loss and not worth the effort needed to repair it. She used this logic while our kids were in highschool. None of them graduated. They all 3 tested in the top 0.5% of the district. Not one graduated. And my wife is a teacher in the district. She's in such denial of it that she's out of control with the things she does now to distract herself and others from her shame. She absolutely refuses to face it and it is dragging the problem out considerably. Prolonging my kids suffering and not getting them the help that they need to continue their education or their lives. She's infecting them with mental illness basically and won't let me help. She's isolated them and alienated anyone and everyone who could help. She feels that anyone in a position to help is in a position to judge. And she is evading judgement for her very life. And I think it's truly lost on her how she is harming her own children. Of course I've tried to reason with her and explain that it can all be repaired. It just needs to be faced head on. All she can manage are little half truths that make her only partly accountable for her actions and she passes the buck to someone else and runs away to hide with them. We haven't lived together in more than 12 years. I've been to jail for domestic violence more times then I can count. Even when I called the police trying to prevent it. Even when my kids were telling the cops that their father did not touch their mother and that their mom was in a psychosis brought on by her mental Illness...I went to jail. She hides things in her mind that are difficult for her to face. In the time when most of us sit in reflection on a thing and feel remorse, guilt, shame, embarrassment, etc ..the emotions that give us the motivation and determination to change or to apologize or whatever positive thing that needs to be done to make us feel like we are decent...she never feels those things. She doesn't process regret or shame or fear the way most of us do. For her it seems like she's still a child. I remember as a child when I was punished for something I would sulk. And I would go into a pity party mode. Where in the end I would never feel sorry for anything I had done. I would only feel resentment for being punished. I can't be the only one who experienced this. I'm sure most who read this can relate and understand. Somewhere along the way I moved past that and became accountable. Probably because I wanted to be like my role models. They were fair and responsible men and they always held themselves accountable first and foremost. I'm grateful for their impact upon my life. I didn't take to it immediately. I rebelled against it and found out the hard way what the consequences were for doing that. And then all the lessons from my father, my uncle's, grandparents and other role models clicked and it was easy to make the adjustments to live an honorable life. My wife missed that part somehow. She never was held accountable. She's been running from accountability for a very long time. At the expense of her own kids futures, happiness and quality of life. I see those things diminish for my kids daily as my wife's condition persists. She's the sole breadwinner. So she has made life very difficult for us by making us all dependant upon her while also sabotaging our self worth and confidence. Limiting our contacts and resources. When those things are withheld from a person they lose opportunity, creativity and objectivity. And life becomes a suffering. I'm afraid my kids are going to hurt themselves to free themselves from their sequestration. I can't get to them. She's poisoned their hearts and minds to me. Made me the big bad wolf. I'm the good guy. I only want to help. I don't know what to do. I had a specific question I wanted to ask you when I began this because you sounded lucid and agreeable and you said that you had been experiencing symptoms of this Illness and I of course I saw your handle and thought it may be appropriate and timely to ask you a pertinent question regarding my wife who also has this illness. I guess I hoped that you might provide some insight for me to get thru to her. And I'll be damned if I can remember it now. Wow. Anyways... I don't blame my wife. I want to help her and my kids. I don't want her to face judgement in her current deficit of any honor. There's no entrance for her in her current state. To much regret. Too much guilt. Too much anger and deflection. No remorse. No accountability. No compassion, empathy or sympathy. No good intentions. She thinks my story about St Peter is a joke or something I made up. I wish it was. I really wish it was. I'm tired now. If I think of my question I'll try again. Don't wait until tomorrow to fix yourself for your loved ones. You'll appreciate yourself alot more if you do. So will they. 🙏
@sandrastaton19
Жыл бұрын
Me to. It's a living hell of emotional pain that people just don't understand. If I could unzip myself, then they could see how bad it hurts, but they still wouldn't know just how deeply it hurts. It's like someone is cutting me to pieces with a chainsaw. Sometimes I cry for hours, trying to wash out the pain. Nothing works during those intense episodes.
@ryanglobe416
Жыл бұрын
This video hurt my brain and my hurt. I couldn't agree with you more. The desire for perfection is never ending and causing so many problems when things aren't or don't go according to plan. I had a sculpture that was damaged by a 3rd party while moving it to its permanent installation. The feeling I got was incredibly overwhelming. In that moment my excitement and joy went to pain, disgust and anger. Three months of work meant nothing and was ruined. This video hit home on so many points.
@janinemakey5186
Жыл бұрын
All my life I was told I'm so negative well I have bpd and I hate it every day it is like being in hell with your mind
@deniseclairesafalzoi
Жыл бұрын
No sense of self, no self-esteem, addicted to drama & chaos, vehemently despises change as little as it may be, DBT doesn't work
@chynnadoll3277
4 ай бұрын
🙏🙏🙏🙏
@betsyhughes2208
Жыл бұрын
Yep, I'm B.P.D, just turned 61, I also have a couple of chronic illnesses with physical chronic pain. It's taken a long time to get some control over myself & my life. Meds, therapy and exhaustion has been the main things that have helped. Learning about the illness and why I feel the way I do or how I respond to life. If the meds weren't there life would be hell again because they give a stable platform from which balance is so much easier, but they are only a beginning. Once the extremes (& we all know those!) even out, it makes things clearer and possible to deal with. I remember the first diagnosis I got was extreme chronic depression and though it felt like a relief to know I wasn't abnormal or alien in some way, in typical BPD fashion, the panic set in! If I have a mental health issue who am I really? Why am I like this, how did this happen & SPIRAL!!!!! Couple of years later, re diagnosed with BPD & Chronic Depression, oh that makes sense (after I deeply delved into the whole thing) of course it makes sense & of course again in true BPD another panic spiral. Except this time it wasn't as bad or take as long to come out of it. Slowly it got better & dealing bit by bit (baby steps) with my life, now and in the past, in a fairly sane way has given me insight and tools to live with all the crazy. Also humour is the best way to quiet the inner talk! Now I can embrace my uniqueness and appreciate just how much I can control my own neurodivergent personality and the big thing........I like who I am & I don't really care what others think about me anymore!!! Because I know me better than anyone else in the world & in the end, it's truly not about me. Remember we didn't choose this, we did nothing wrong and no we don't deserve the pain in our lives, because we're not as bad as we think we are. The best & most freeing moment of all is when you just let go of the pain, the fear & the paranoia. The past is past, the future is tomorrow & all we really can control is right now, minute by minute. Baby steps, learn, research, understand & be kind to yourself. Get help, then you can help you!!! & Yes it's still a fight every single day, I wouldn't change a thing about my life or who I am. Warrior, that's me!!😊 To my fellow Warriors, you're not alone, you're not imagining the pain, fight on because the other choice really sucks ❤❤🦦🦘🇦🇺
@OhMandy079
Жыл бұрын
I’m just learning on my own at 44 I have quite bpd. Life has been rough but I’m hoping for a good outcome. Your comment made me feel like there is hope for us all. I hope all is well with you and yours. ❤
@betsyhughes2208
Жыл бұрын
@@OhMandy079 we get there every day, day by day ❤️ I really think the other option totally sucks 😏☺️
@betsyhughes2208
Жыл бұрын
@@OhMandy079 Hello!!! 👋👋👋How ya doing, just thought I'd give you a quick "Warrior" g'day, let you know I'm still here. Thinking bout ya❤️ sending gentle hug cause sometimes it helps. Love fellow Warrior 😁❤️
@OhMandy079
Жыл бұрын
@@betsyhughes2208 you’re very sweet and I appreciate you so very much! I hope you’re doing well and a gentle hug back as well because they do help so much xo
@betsyhughes2208
Жыл бұрын
@@OhMandy079 ❤️🦦
@orange2896
Жыл бұрын
BPD is so often used to pathologize people (especially women) who have trauma histories and neurodivergence, especially unidentified autism. I personally think it's a junk diagnosis that brings with it tremendous stigma, especially in the mental health arena. We really need to do better rather than just slapping on a diagnosis like this because all the "symptoms" you described are previously necessary responses to survive trauma and keep them alive in bad situations. There's not mentally ill about that.
@jennifernorman9655
Жыл бұрын
Exactly 😊
@GrungyPisces
Жыл бұрын
Exactly this. I didn’t have these symptoms until I exited an abusive relationship where I was constantly treated like nothing I did was enough. I was antagonized and baited into arguments and saw some awful sides to myself after giving birth. It was only AFTER that, six years later, that I developed a sense of unworthiness. If I watched this video and self-diagnosed, I’d say the whole feeling unworthy of love and whatnot could describe me very well. I have mood swings depending on if I have to exchange my son with my ex. I’ve been in a few bad relationships, and I never felt unworthy until I was in three bad ones. I never thought poorly of myself before. I loved myself. I thought I was just this quirky, aloof, strange, and magical person worthy of love and full of love to give. Now, I am haunted by bad relationships and am working on getting past it all. It’s not even been a year since I fully exited the 6-year relationship. It’s trauma. Not BPD. I’m in a relationship now and struggle to feel worthy of the love because I’ve experienced so much pain and heartache and internalized it. I want to take responsibility for my roles in the past so that I don’t repeat it. I was ignorant, socially clueless, and my therapist thinks I am autistic. Women and POC have a hard time getting diagnosed with autism. It’s often a BPD label. I’ve never been suspected of BPD though. Just anxiety. It’s thrown out there with NPD for clickbait.
@cherylmockotr
Жыл бұрын
This makes no sense, since trauma causes mental illness... there's definitely something wrong with being mentally ill! It's not something you just shrug your shoulders about and go on living with. If you don't diagnose and treat, you're accepting the continuation of generational traumas. Believe me, I TRIED to get my mother to get help, but nooo... I was left to deal with her issues and suffer the loss of my own childhood development, and now I have to do the hard work on myself to deal with it. YES... mental illness needs to be identified and addressed for the good of society!! BTW, I suspect my mother was also on the autism spectrum since my sister and her children are... it's gotten stronger with each generation. Does that make it ok for my mother to be as emotionally immature and neglectful of me as she was, disregarding me as a separate being than she? Of course not! Autism is not an excuse, and although it's sad they were born with the various brain deficits, they should not be having children... by default they are incapable of the mirroring and empathy required to raise a healthy child.
@sondraarrache1908
Жыл бұрын
Maybe the "diagnosis " isn't as important as the behaviors that are extremely difficult to be in relationship with. Taking accountability is the first step to heal.
@WynneL
Жыл бұрын
I think women with autism and men with BPD are often diagnosed with the opposite disorder because "autism is logical/rational/male" and "BPD is emotional/female." It's just straight up clinical gender bias. (Saying this as someone who studied psychology, and dated someone with BPD whom an autistic female psychologist attempted to diagnose with autism.)
@suethomas6859
Жыл бұрын
I wasn't allowed to cry at home or express pain, anger, etc. I've been abandoned and I also have ocd. I can relate to everything your saying. I had to be perfect growing up and I'm my own worst enemy. I was told how to act what to say and not say. Ppl don't know all the pain I hide inside, not even my therapist. I have so many fears and I get upset and hurt extremely easy. And I jump at loud sounds. I feel numb inside and out, and I'm overly emotional. I don't even know what's real or not. I hope this makes sense. I can't get emotionally close to anyone. I was told I was bad and that no one would ever love me. I hide inside my home more than I go out. I don't trust either. My home has to be just so or it drives me crazy if it's in disarray.
@suethomas6859
Жыл бұрын
I've been told I over react to things. I never feel safe
@lashayrobinson4397
Жыл бұрын
Sameee here smh 😢
@rebeccassofa
Ай бұрын
You're not alone ❤
@Bubblies005
Жыл бұрын
My psychiatrist before I moved states said that I could have a slight form of BPD. After casually relating to every single symptom in this video I’m definitely getting tested by my next psychiatrist.
@ChickVicious237
7 ай бұрын
I'd like to add, the perfectionism in #3, specifically the point about hyperfocusing on their own faults to other people, and what you said in #9 about feeling all forms of criticism and critique way too strongly are very tightly connected. One if the reasons we try to be super clear about every single fault we can find in our own work is actually a shield against those criticisms. Like the unpopular kid who uses self-depricating humor to disarm bullies, it's a self-preservation tactic (while still being an honest reflection of our own feelings)
@Hafhafnhaf
Жыл бұрын
I feel like this cluster of personality disorder charactertics are a lot like dependent personality disorder. Personality disorders are most likely a combo of genetics and survival traits that come from a traumatic family or social system. Inherited trauma.
@fightswithspirits915
Жыл бұрын
My recent ex of 7 days got angry very few times. An important part of the image she wanted to project is that she was kind, giving and caring. She was sooooo pissed when I shook her Kumbucha, the raw anger was surprising. When I mentioned it to her family she denied she was really angry. Said she was acting. She was SUPER angry when I was curious about what she and her narcissist friend talked about when they met. That was a HUGE red flag I ignored. One other time, what was it errrrrr hmmmmm. I forget but it was a simple thing. Oh yes! She got angry at me when I asked about why she lied and why she defended, rationalized, justified. Then she went right into victim mode. "I'm just a horrible person!" I told her that's not at all what I said. Then whenever I wanted to discuss any issue, that was her default. "I'm just a horrible person!" After a dozen times, eventually, I just responded. "You know what? Yes, you are." It didn't even phase her. I was taking to off-ramp. She was incredibly non-confrontational. Where I wanted to resolve all issues using heart to heart communication. I thought she was a good listener, but that's not what is was. It was avoidance to view herself and refusal to acknowledge or consider my feelings. Her new female boss caught on quick. Told her she could no longer work from home after catching her in a lie. She was habitually lying abut the most simple things. It was like watching a 5 year old lie to a parent. So obviously seen as a lie. One of her sisters was also a narcissist but did not hid it. Her other sister was quiet and came across like a non-person. All 3 of them had something about them that was perceivable as being off. I should not draw this conclusion, but I think they were not just molested as children, but subjected to an abuse by someone who was supposed to protect and care for them. Broke them all.
@jasonshepherd5634
Жыл бұрын
This is excellent! This short video provides more clarity than years of research with typical sources. She covers traits and tendencies that others don't even mention. This has definitely cleared a lot up for me.
@sandrastaton19
Жыл бұрын
Some videos on BPD are confusing to me. But this one is as clear as a bell. What a relief to finally discover why I'm the way I am.
@ginaqc78
Жыл бұрын
True, very informative ❤❤❤
@ameliaduran2057
Жыл бұрын
This is me, when I see others describe Borderlines and their experiences with them, the characteristics they describe don’t sound like me, even tho I was diagnosed with this in 2010, didn’t get into researching it until 2019 or so, I was aware of it in 2017, but hadn’t given that diagnoses much thought bc I was so overwhelmed with OCD since 2004, so watching this makes more sense, this sounds exactly like my character, glad I finally decided to watch this, had been seeing it on my recommended
@jaylynnhillary9653
Жыл бұрын
I literally understood your character through this paragraph, I’m just now realizing that I’ve been going through non ending, quiet bpd episodes for almost my whole life, I’ve never been diagnosed but I know it runs in my family. But I’ve internalized it so much I never even noticed 😟
@ameliaduran2057
Жыл бұрын
@@jaylynnhillary9653 I’m glad you’ve become aware of it, now you can work on healing, not sure how you acquired the BPD, also it is genetic, I have a trauma background, so I’m assuming this is how it developed for me, now that you mention it, I started internalizing when I was 8 yrs old, never thought about how far back it could have gone, that’s when I remember starting to hate myself, felt maybe that I couldn’t do anything right as a child and adolescence. Gosh I hope you start to feel better, I’ve had all these symptoms she mentioned in the video, glad to finally have a label that explains it, bc I didn’t know it was a specific type of BPD, only that I had BPD.
@eliaslyman9256
Жыл бұрын
A couple of these behaviors really resonated and were incredibly well put thanks for such an enlightening video!
@betsyhughes2208
Жыл бұрын
Ah, but here's the tricky bit! There's also subconscious self harming behaviour. Found that one out talking to Drs that took the time to explain some of the more fun aspects of this condition. Talking about my behaviour with the experts I told them about my clumsy accidents and dangerous habits (won't go into that) every one of them came back with "Yes that's subconscious or unconscious self harming!! Very normal with BPD!" Good grief that was a shock 😲 but when I closely examined the things I was talking about, boom!!! clear as anything. The subconscious patterns were there screaming quite loudly about whatever I was internalizing. Since becoming aware of these behaviours, I can actually judge how much my emotions or thoughts are messing with me without me knowing. What I understood is we aren't necessarily clumsy, sometimes we're actually trying to hurt ourselves, but quietly so nobody else knows, we just don't use razor blades! Especially if you keep hitting your head!!! Oddly that's a sign for me to think about what's going on inside... ❤️🦦🦘🇦🇺
@thatcrazyhindu
9 ай бұрын
One thing I want to point out is that the belief that we are shameful, unlovable isn’t some random belief. It is the only way the world has treated some of us, it has evidence of loved ones abandoning us when we needed them and abusing us when we were down.
@elizabethturcios12
Жыл бұрын
this describes me to the tee, and i really did not fully realize at all until i got into my first relationship, i just knew there is always something off with me.
@inkystarz
Жыл бұрын
I have CPTSD and many of my defenses are borderline flavored, my mother has a cluster b milkshake personality disorder … this content helps with self awareness and attachment healing.
@jayzepickle6637
Жыл бұрын
Ma'am ma'am pls you need to stop. This video stabbed me in my heart. As soon as it got to the section about believing that anyone who likes you just doesn't know you well enough and that abandonment is inevitable I started bawling. I have had this thought for as long as I remember, when I was with my ex it was always at the back of my mind and I drove myself nuts with anxiety about when he'd finally leave me do much so I had to leave him before I fractured completely. I also really feel that regressive bit. I used to try to purposefully kinda annoy my ex. Like refusing his help in anything and being uncooperative because I wanted him to yell at me and tell me I was horrible and that he doesn't love me because I felt I deserved it. And because that's how I felt when my dad used to yell at me when I didn't do my chores. I remember telling my mom about it and she kinda went "oh yeah you used to say that a lot as a kid, 'just yell at me' when you felt you did something wrong." I can imagine it was quite hurtful for my ex to see me do that, and I'd never want to hurt him in any way. Every bit of video hit me so hard I don't even know how to feel anymore. Also that bit of criticism has been such a hard thing for me to deal with. I draw a lot and I used to show my mom my art and she's say something like "the nose looks too big" and I damn well ripped that drawing apart because I couldn't stand seeing it anymore after she pointed it out.
@stevelee2471
Жыл бұрын
This describes my wife of 12 years perfectly. We managed it while we were both working but she retired last year and things are rocky. Her lack of boundaries with her daughter (Narc) is a major problem for us. We can't travel or have our time together because she is using us for childcare every week on multiple days. I don't know how long I can put up with this behavior. I am seeing a therapist but wife won't go to one.
@sandrastaton19
Жыл бұрын
I've been married for 51 years and the only reason my husband toughed it out with me is that he really does love me. Plus, I've been in counseling for nearly 2 years. I know I'm a hellcat at times and tough to live with. But we talk things out. We work through it together. I never doubt his love for me, even during a hellish episode. I hate being like this. I didn't ask for it. But I am getting better. It's really difficult to love someone who doesn't believe you love them. My mother was like that, so I know your pain. No one should have to go through the pain and suffering of someone else's pain and suffering. I really hope things work out for you.
@CrankyB1tsch
Жыл бұрын
Run dude, run and enjoy the rest of your life in peace
@visionvixxen
Жыл бұрын
They can drain you of everything. I pray she care about getting help MOREyhan you and constantly keep w a therapist and be vigilant about this… Still, it is so hard to live with them🙏
@mattmunny3253
10 ай бұрын
@@sandrastaton19 have you ever been unfaithful?
@bonitobonita9263
Жыл бұрын
Study used to say BPD people have high empathy, like decades ago. but current view is they have low empathy. They might have great cognitive empathy(show empathic acting when showing empathy is necessary) often emotional empathy(can be affected by other people’s mood), but not compassionate empathy(actual empathy that you’d help and being supportive to that person). Edit:typo
@amandarattray2845
Жыл бұрын
Can confirm that your theory is correct, atleast for me.
@gothboschincarnate3931
4 ай бұрын
No their empathy crosses the eithers...that is why its so devastating.... I found "her" ability to abandon empathy 10 times more devastating. "She" threw me out of my body entirely!
@gothboschincarnate3931
4 ай бұрын
@@amandarattray2845 judge me by my size do you? my ally is the force...Claire-empathy!
@mendingmandy869
Жыл бұрын
I relate to a lot of this. I've been diagnosed with chronic ptsd and it stems from childhood trauma. So I guess it would be cptsd if it was in the dsm5. I relate to a ton of this except self-harming.
@jeremiahclark2033
Жыл бұрын
You have a very gentle manner. Great video direct and to the point.
@IntuitiveMatters
Жыл бұрын
No day is the same. It's like living as a yo yo. Exhausting. Wow.. that's me. I come across as to much bc im to nice, too giving. Where it just becomes weird. I sel isolate a lot. Not going outside for days or weeks .I focused on personal archetypes by writing for over 23 years. Now all that work and effort seems wasted bc. I don't know what to do with it. Them I'm afraid to do anything with it. Because I don't blend in well socially with others. Great video... Thanks
@EmptyECHoeS
8 ай бұрын
I love you all who all are suffering from bpd...❤ hope you all get well soon and love yourself and fully depend on yourself...dont lose hope... I am also suffering from severe depression and bpd and other ...i am on medications and i am doing well rn.. Its very hard to live with but medications amd meditations exercise and being able to connect to the universe positivity can help alot.... Hope you all get well sooner or later..
@insidebest7887
Жыл бұрын
From this video i learnt i have quiet borderline Personality disorder... Thank you so much for this awareness ❤️❤️
@NinjaKiller999
Жыл бұрын
Dated someone who was fearful avoidant for 3 months but now I can see theyre were quiet BPD as well. The first 2 months of the relationship were amazing felt like we were soulmates then she randomly started distancing herself for no clear reason and last week she removed me from everything and ignored my text. I feel devastated, no idea why she did this. I thought she was a kind, selfless person. Guess she eventually took the mask off. Literally 2 weeks before removing me she would double text when i took more than 1h to respond and the suddenly boom, 0 contact and removed from everything overnight. Ive had trouble eating and sleeping since , but it feels a bit better knowing it wasnt my fault
@TheBiggestMoronYouKnow
Жыл бұрын
He accused me of cheating constantly, I was definitely not, I’m demisexual, it doesn’t work that way 😂
@thomaspan6514
Жыл бұрын
Same, but after they deactivated for two months things got better for the next 9 months. Then again suddenly they met someone new who didn't know their flaws and weakness, they left me. I went no contact and they were surprised at least outwardly. They had a warped idea of an intimate relationship. They did not want physical touch or sex, and they did not seek help from their partner but from close friends, but when both sought help they prioritized their partner over friends. It's like they were draining energy from friends to feed their partner. And they said I was a very close friend. I could not sacrifice myself for life even though I love them so much.
@kerrymillar1267
Жыл бұрын
All these things come from insecure attachments.
@feli4081
Жыл бұрын
Look I'd try to see it from her perspective it might help in the healing process. She really likes you, in fact she loves you. But she's afraid you won't stick around so she attempts to portray herself as beyond human as "kind" and "selfless" all the time. Everyone makes mistakes, it's difficult to reach that standard. She might have began to feel drained around you. Cause she's basically keeping up a persona of perfection. That's not on you, it's the illness. At this point the reason she left is probably cause she had an episode, she was overwhelmed scared you wouldnt like the real her. Most importantly and I know this is weird but since a person with BPD is highly sensitive, you not responding for two hours to her could mean to her that your disinterested. This really hurts at first. And then she feels angry then cold. Then she wants to cut you out.
@feli4081
Жыл бұрын
Mind you all those feelings are intensified to the max. Any action could lead to an internal meltdown.
@Oceandaisey18
Жыл бұрын
A better name for this is Emotional Disregulation Disorder!
@Leslie-ye2is
4 ай бұрын
I honestly am amazed that you have just described who I am.
@starzintheskyz4477
Жыл бұрын
I can be a little bit of both sides of borderline. I haven't been professionally diagnosed but most of everything that's talked about pertains to how I am. But I believe from a borderlines point of view, if someone never goes out of their way to make the effort to be in your life, then that to me is showing someone with BPD that you don't care, no matter how many times someone says they do care. Actions always speak louder than words. And when only words are said, then how is someone who's borderline supposed to believe whether someone truly cares or not.
@kellimihalic116
21 күн бұрын
You nailed every single one of my symptoms/issues. I’m actually in shock how much you are describing me to a T! Why tho when I tell new drs or therapist I have BPD they immediately say “well, that’s doubtful, you seem to normal”. Or “too nice”. You just met me and already you’re telling me you don’t want to deal with me that I’m a liar. I hate having to start over again with a new person. Makes me not want to go find another doctor/therapist. I don’t like having to start again from jump to someone who’s just gonna say I don’t think you have BPD after just meeting me. I’m 51 and know my life. So what do you do when no one near you treats BPD? It won’t treat BPD?
@faculty5999
Жыл бұрын
I am 29 and just got my ADHD Diagnosis but I still think it's not all I struggle with, so I found your video. And I actually never felt so understood then when you described these symptoms. I also teared up multiple times because it is exactly how I feel and act. I am currently searching for depthpsychology oriented Psychotherapy. But it's really hard to find one so I try to help myself in the meantime. I don't know if it is quit BPD or some trauma related combination with my ADHD but it is currently really hard to fight my emotions every day because my partner and fav. person left me after 8 years.
@Chironex_Fleckeri
Жыл бұрын
I have had a similar journey. My ADHD diagnosis happened in childhood and was reconfirmed in adulthood. I tried meds for a couple years as an adult but found myself in a worse emotional state. I think ADHD or executive dysfunction disorders are very poorly understood and hopefully research will find this. I've always felt like a bad person. Flakey. Impulsive. Lying to cover. Substance abuse. Lovebombing people and then getting tired of them but not wanting them to go. I wish you the best.
@Chironex_Fleckeri
Жыл бұрын
And yes!! Most therapists are only human. They can only process what you tell them. They have off days. They make assumptions too. They may dismiss you when you say, "I feel like I really have something going on beyond low self-esteem. There's more to it." But I didn't know how to verbalize it. Maybe you should compose something in writing to bring to your first therapy session? This is what I plan to do to explain myself. ADHD can make it almost impossible to connect complex personal thoughts in a way that others can process. So a thorough, anonymous letter describing yourself may be one way to approach this! You can include examples of how you behaved in a certain situation, describe how you view yourself but support it. And remember!! Some therapists are NOT equipped to handle people who have complex or comorbid disorders. People with lots of issues are going to have a smaller pool of compatible therapists. Also, make sure you don't go for one that you can "win over." Ive had this happen where I end up charming a therapist to the point where they pin my issues down to self-esteem and depression, because they can't see that the patient-therapist relationship is another challenge to our self esteem. Winning over the therapist is not the goal, but it can become irresistible as a way to protect a fragile self image. Again, best of luck. I am wanting to go back to therapy with a new perspective on everything.
@sixthsenseamelia4695
Жыл бұрын
Co-morbid Cptsd & undiagnosed autism/ masking.
@thecreativeintuitive
Жыл бұрын
I think ADHD/ BPD/ Cyclothymia/ PTSD etc … all overlap so it’s very hard to tell what’s what.
@deverhart5
11 ай бұрын
If your not medicated it could help regulate you. It has emotionally and mentally regulated me to the point where I can sprial into thoughts and emotionally regulate me. Don't forget self harm is an adhd symptom as well rejection sensitivity
@gma_03
Ай бұрын
I'm very emotional, so helpless and crying while i'm watching this video..can't control it😭..like lot of it reflected on me & my behavior. Now i got the answer why i am different & i can't help it..but somehow, sometimes i can manage my self & overcome with it.thanks that I knew Jesus. Faith in Him does really help & the love of my family who truly understands me.💞 "Sometimes it's better to be alone, nobody can hurt you." it was my motto knowing & believing that i am also an introvert person but now i clearly understand that perhaps i'm experiencing this Quiet BPD too.
@greylizard1040
Жыл бұрын
This feels like such a precise formula, as if my brain was made in a mass production line, where myself and each of my brethren were programmed to have these traits.
@orenthabigg5973
Жыл бұрын
Idk why but i feel this on a spiritual level
@GLeon-ov9yu
Жыл бұрын
Dating a Borderline drove me crazy.
@boop5287
Жыл бұрын
Borderline feel like I’m going to lose my mind
@nostalgicbliss5547
Жыл бұрын
Ironic
@mikestain5963
Жыл бұрын
Ya think.... I nearly killed myself
@DD-jm5ug
Жыл бұрын
Having it is exhausting × trillion billion zillion. Horrible life.
@clintonnagy1662
5 ай бұрын
Me too. I can't take the hot and cold. Never know what to expect. She was 100% loyal but wasn't sure when that would change. I show all signs of BPD, and her signs were NPD /BPD. We were a concoction of toxicity waiting to explode.😮
@megspradlin7345
Жыл бұрын
How would you separate quiet bpd from high functioning autism? Because there is a lot of overlap.
@GrungyPisces
Жыл бұрын
She honestly just summarized autism in women and slapped the classic “BPD” label on it…
@megspradlin7345
Жыл бұрын
@@GrungyPisces Okay so it wasn't just me thinking that, then? I know there's overlap in that people with BPD and ASD struggle in similar areas but for entirely different reasons. This seemed to ..just blatantly disregard that. :/
@kileyduffy6087
Жыл бұрын
It’s my understanding, it was more of nature/nurture? Born with autism or developed BPD.
@megspradlin7345
Жыл бұрын
@@kileyduffy6087 Unfortunately that's very challenging for people who are afab. Tend to be misdiagnosed or go for years without a diagnosis. Annnnnd then there's the trauma that comes from that. So a person who is diagnosed initially as BPD could simply be autistic with CPTSD. That was the case of a friend of mine. I myself wrestle with ADHD and am autistic. (Under the old vernacular, Aspie - that part of the spectrum.) My maternal grandmother was likely both autistic and had BPD. (Later in life it was difficult for the doctors to diagnose as she also had dementia.) There's overlap - a lot of overlap. But one carries a stigma and one has less of one. Currently going through audiobooks and am curious about just how much is nature vs nurture. Specifically because of the combination of autism and mental illness that runs screaming through both sides of my family.
@clarissecatelynn946
Жыл бұрын
Autism shows with everyone..BPD tends to show in close relationships
@georgevue8175
Жыл бұрын
Postpartum Depression triggered my wife's Borderline Personality Disorder & it's been a 21 year nightmare living with her. Intense mood swings, reckless spending & driving, cheating, treating me like a roommate, etc.. She has probably made me mentally ill by taking care of her.
@meganhoward8820
Жыл бұрын
Do you think she wanted to be this way? She lost a part of herself while giving her body to you and your child. Im sure she would have wanted to be her old self, the one you fell in love with, the one you wanted a family with... She would have loved to have lived as that person im sure of that however she lost something. Baby blues are awful. It feels like you have lost a chunk of you. Like you will never be whole again. Life seems just slightly empty and those feelings create shame and guilt. You likely have lost some of yourself too in this process. You do have to give yourself permission to feel. Feel the anger towards where you are and feel empathy toward her situation. Above all though feel grace and compassion for both of you. 21 years have passed and the child in the mix im sure has noticed these behaviors if not adopted some as their own. I hope youre all in a safe space.
@georgevue8175
Жыл бұрын
@@meganhoward8820I appreciate the kind words. Our son is doing great in college but he did inherit some of his mother’s emotional problems but has learned to recognize & deal with them. Being Borderline my wife’s emotions will forever be easy triggered.
@Sue-ck5yk
Жыл бұрын
Don't forget that you are allowed to have boundaries. It's reasonable to expect someone to make an effort to take a time out and set boundaries with the opposite sex so they don't cheat or emotionally abuse. Part of the treatment for BPD is learning how to take a time out and calm down in distress so conversations are not being had when highly emotionally dysregulated.
@millyardopeacecraft9778
Жыл бұрын
My ex narc with bpd. "Victimized Narcissist". Once I fell off the pedalstol there was no going back or even moving forward for us...she put all blame on me. But I told her I wouldn't shoulder it alone so she could escape accountability for her own crap behavior. Some say a dodged a bullet. Perhaps. But doesn't make this any easier. I tried to get us help. But she made every excuse as to why not and instead went out thrill seeking sexually with other people as a way to cope. She blamed that on me as well. Can't win with these types And far as I am concerned F-em'...the hurt the woman continually cause for the last 5 months and justifying it all is absolutely disgusting. And if you are evolved with a person with a personality disorder of anytype. Get out immediately. Once they see you as bad. They will suck you dry for attention till they need no more.
@boop5287
Жыл бұрын
Well said. They’re all nuts and the comorbid ones are the worst
@grand_air_trine_astro
Жыл бұрын
I experienced the opposite of this with an NPD male. I slowly slipped into exhibiting BPD traits due to his incredible manipulation, gaslighting and emotional torture. However I educated myself on both disorders, got into therapy and 6 months on been able to break the trauma bond but still have cPTSD. Lost all my connections including my family due to him. Now I realise the BPD traits - I ran away every time he verbally/emotionally abused me to protect myself and became hypervigilant and very distrusting - were me protecting myself from further abuse. He did this to many before me.
@kevinowens6010
Жыл бұрын
Shit testing is required in any potential candidates for a relationship concidered. Background checks are definitely required. Saves us from Hell.
@oliviasturgiss5318
Жыл бұрын
I’d be careful about generalising and projecting your personal experiences onto a whole group of people. Your experiences with your toxic partner are valid and I sympathise but with the particular type of Quiet Borderline the video is covering, I think you’re describing more of a Petulant Type of Borderline and there’s a big difference and not fair to group all types into one negative stereotype based on your experience with one person.
@GrungyPisces
Жыл бұрын
@@grand_air_trine_astro This happened to me, too! If you ever want to chat about it with someone, let me know. I’ve never heard anyone else admit that being with someone with NPD can cause the other to exhibit a defense system that mimics BPD. And trying to overcome that is hard. We internalize the guilt of how we reacted to the abuse. I’m trying to heal every day.
@dreamscape405
Жыл бұрын
Is it possible to have someone exhibit traditional bpd symptoms during adolescence, but have it transform into quiet bpd as they get older? When I was a teenager, traditional bpd symptoms were clear as day, but now that I'm in my 50s, quiet bpd fits better now, but with much less of the extremes...as I'm refining my coping processes, my symptoms are decreasing! Yay!
@friendlychat34
3 ай бұрын
This is my experience too :)
@kerrymillar1267
Жыл бұрын
This sounds a lot like me. I’ve struggled with intimate relationships my whole life.
@camillechapman3108
8 ай бұрын
I believe my son has this. I’m so worried. He is so lovable and talented, but thinks he’s unlovable and an awful person.
@davewelbylivinginhistinyti4796
Жыл бұрын
Could you please make a video on signs of a normal person ? Great content 🙏
@stevegrifftx
Жыл бұрын
good one, but define Normal ;)
@Sue-ck5yk
Жыл бұрын
LOL. There is no normal. There are just people who haven't yet been diagnosed with something from the DSM5's lengthy list of illnesses. Wait until the DSM6 comes out, it'll probably be even longer. :)
@gothboschincarnate3931
4 ай бұрын
Ha...i dont even know what normal is...or what healing is. nobody talks about it....
@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for saying self punishing! My friend is not self harming but she does punish herself.
@LilBrownieD
Жыл бұрын
Confusing because a lot of these things could be called codependent as well
@kmym5709
4 ай бұрын
Completely unprompted story that I want to share.. I'm glad i came across this video, it gave me a lot more perspective and understanding for a best friend i know loved me but seemed to also "hate" me, given that they never talked about their fears, never trusted anyone yet constantly pleasing everyone, hated on their own self, almost as if trying to punish themself.. and many others things that are only there when I'm around them. I tried my best. I recommended them therapy for anxiety, because they seemed to worry a lot about others perception of them. I also tried to be there, but never did they ever accepted my help, and always had been asking me for how they could help me because "this is the only way i could find myself valuable as a person". They were such a kind person, but they would say the worst things as a reaction to something that is often highly distorted. The closer we got, the worse it got. At our relationship's last moments, they reacted with anger when I tried to say that i am okay with them being true. They took it as if I wrongly accused them of lying about something so horrible that I was the one at fault. The things they said at that moment, which hurt so much then, doesn't matter anymore. Soon they disappeared (ghosted) and returned months later and act like nothing happened. Yet, they seem to hurt more when I just act naturally calm and even joyful. I had to walk away because as a friend who loved (and still does love) them, I was heartbroken to see them feel so much pain because of me, knowing i couldn't do anything about it. I wouldn't have found my own closure without learning about BPD out of sheer curiosity, but this experience makes sense now. Not to diagnose anyone without professional knowledge, just saying learning more about people with BPD can also be helpful for everyone. Be more understanding, and be more open to sharing their experiences without resentment, but also aware of your own feelings, too.
@Hex04
Жыл бұрын
Yes right!The most symptoms I have by exhausting,less sleep!Since many years Im taking antidepressants!I have a long way of suffering behind me,it was the hell,a big collections of symptoms!But I've learned,what I should ban of my life to save my inner balance!
@RavenMoon1989z
3 ай бұрын
I was diagnosed recently with bpd and was confused cuz some of it doesn't sound like me and i only tend to lash out outwardly when im in a toxic relationship but after watching this video now it makes sense. This sounds completely like me.
@jasonsullivan5448
Жыл бұрын
Wow sounds like me, should I be worried?
@Ashley_Obscuro
15 күн бұрын
Ok, so, I came here because I am trying to better understand a friend who is boderline, and your description of quiet borderline sounds like a combination of attributes that I had for a long time. It is so weird how so much of autistic masking presents a lot like this quiet BPD archtype. I just didn't have the insecurity thing. I just felt like if someone was in my life great if not great. I like being alone. I just thought I was supposed to be more social and thus I developed strategies to develop friendships that required I took all the things that made me me and put them to the side to play a character that was more socially acceptable.
@danielgouge4639
Жыл бұрын
You and Dr Daniel Fox 🦊 are spot on!
@Chaos468
4 ай бұрын
I started crying because I can relate so much to the things in this video and I’m so glad I’m not the only one that’s suffering from these feelings. Hopefully I can get into therapy and get the mental health help I so desperately need❤️
@brockshen
Жыл бұрын
I'm learning a lot here. I appreciate you greatly.
@KatsCorner
Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much I went to therapist four years ago and he told my mother had BPD. I asked him if I had it and he said no. But after watching this I can relate to traits of a quiet BPD person and I will seek more therapy.
@siobhanonavon1989
4 ай бұрын
This video has been extremely helpful to me. Thank you.
@sarahcreelman4649
5 ай бұрын
I had a really traumatic break up that felt like it came out of nowhere last summer- the person had a lot of these traits. I was so traumatized by so much and so confused. This helped me a lot to make sense of it
@ves5657
Жыл бұрын
This felt like a callout post specifically for me lol
@catherineprescott2402
9 ай бұрын
Thank you for this sensible and articulate response to this recording. I am sure pathologising normal human responses to trauma as quiet BPD makes someone somewhere, a lot of money.
@Sara-world
Жыл бұрын
I have dysautonomia and sympathetic syndrome. I jump very easily and startle easily with phone calls and people walking around the corner. This condition prevents the parasympathetic system from turning on. Even prevents digestion. I could picture a narcissist telling me I'm borderline after watching this, but I'm definitely not. I thought borderlines go in very love bomby and try to lure people in sexually. It wasn't mentioned here.
@ves5657
Жыл бұрын
Some people with bpd may do that, but just because they have bpd doesn't mean they do. That sounds like a stereotype.
@wargex
Жыл бұрын
Yeah I'm going to agree that this sounds like a stereotype thing. You shouldn't disregard just because of a single behavioral trait. Also the video is 10 signs, not any and all possible signs. Not to mention not everyone who is quite borderline will identify with all of these 10 signs in this video.
@emilykathleenn
Жыл бұрын
I have bpd and I am medically professionally diagnosed with the disorder Anyway , I would say the paranoia about things and emptiness is overwhelming at times , the emotions aren't controllable even when I am on medication, the emotions and symptoms are only alleviated a bit and talking therapies alongside medication is better as this is an emotional 'disease' in a way after all, therefore , this helps me and others with bpd I expect / can do/ is more effective. Lots of people don't get the help or support or medical treatment they require though or have more severe bpd or less severe than to myself, therefore, treatment should be specified and more personalised to the individual but that doesn't always happen from my experiences . Im glad you mentioned intense emotion In this video because the void, the anger , the sadness , the happiness (or whatever emotion people with bpd are feeling) are so intense and strong compared to other people's and its hard to be understood by 'normal' people
@Pizzatime42008
3 ай бұрын
I just straight up started laughing my ass off, which turned to tears when you brought up the point of perfectionism
@teasjams6895
9 ай бұрын
I've never heard someone more perfectly describe every single BPD symptom I've had. Thankfully, I'm in and have been in remission for at least a couple years now.
@puremaledark8305
Жыл бұрын
Interesting. I had an ex that was literally offended by everything. She would get mad just by strangers not saying “hi”
@etheredmoon
Жыл бұрын
Not me getting a BPD diagnosis and realizing I have a mixture of ALL types of it. You saying we were taught our feelings and emotions aren't important and no one cares that we are a burden people can't bare I relate to SO much because that is how I would explain my struggle to open up about how I am feeling and actually be honest. I have INTENSE anxiety and paranoia too. Gosh, I really need to get my therapist settled! I have absolutely have had an episode too. People have labeled me awful hurtful things before my diagnosis I am now trying to make amends to those I hurt before and before I was put on meds again to regulate my mood and ease my anxiety. I even have my comfort favorite people. And, I never believe deep down I am worthy of love or kindness. It is such a struggle. It's called self sabotaging and it's my best friend.
@LiseLeblanc
Жыл бұрын
I wish you healing to the core of your being so you can experience peace of mind, self-love, and fulfilling relationships.
@Sorchia56
4 ай бұрын
Our oldest has BPD (dx at 15) and has gone NC to now LC with us, refusing to let us know why or attend therapy with us. She went off her medication. It’s heartbreaking and wretched. We’ve kept the door open and text her every other day that we love her and miss her. All we can do at this point is pray and we do several times a day. She is healthy and seems happy when we have seen her; her younger sibling’s birthday dinners, Uni graduation, celebrating holidays in a restaurant. That’s the best we could wish for her, knowing she’s happy (her version), healthy and safe is what allows us to sleep at night. It’s been over 2 years but we hold onto hope and our faith. We got her into therapy with a psychiatrist at 15 after noticing a shift in her that was not right. She was doing so well on her medication and we got her back but once she went to Uni she went off the rails. We picked her up in the middle of the night, after a phone call from her. Brought her home and we saw she was in danger. Got her in with the psychiatrist straight away but she refused all medication. We couldn’t make her take it, she was 20 at the time. We debated putting her in an in patient private facility or sending her to her grandma. We went with the grandmother route, she was sent at 22. We knew she’d be safe, loved, fed and have a roof over her head. She’ll be 26 in a month and we just praying she comes back. She stopped going to the psychiatrist and found her own therapist who is beyond ghastly. Her license is in the process of being revoked. We often wonder if we should have put her in an in patient care facility and things would have turned out differently.
@markstahl1464
Жыл бұрын
I feel like I’ve definitely known some people like. You do an excellent job of painting the bigger picture, and I enjoy listening to your videos.
@sharonmartin7531
Жыл бұрын
Do not self diagnose. You can talk yourself into anything
@thislittleweirdgirl332
2 ай бұрын
My ex was literally ALL of these, aside from the higher empathy tid-bit. What I observed in him was that he projected his own feelings onto others and was too absorbed in his internal dialog and feelings (often not in alignment with reality) to truly understand, let alone empathize with, other people.
@joebloggs339
10 ай бұрын
You really have a great presentation style Lise. Your videos are really easy to watch!
@ConestogaCreek
Жыл бұрын
You are describing every person I have ever met in my life except for the “people pleasing” part.
@grabbelton
Жыл бұрын
I am the Quiet One.... very insightful. I get numb, quite and then walk away.
@heneverforesakesme4038
11 ай бұрын
I used to have a great many if not all of the symptoms, throughout my life. However, by using self-care, decentering toxicity and most of the time, men and focusing on myself and placing energy on my goals and ambitions and not caring if anyone thought I was selfish or not. These symptoms have gone away. No more people pleasing because most people are ungrateful anyways. No more passive/aggressive, I take up for myself immediately. No need for perfection, wearing a mask, flight or freeze. I could care less if you like me or not, hit the door, if you don't like me. I have empathy but only to an extent, I don't take things personally because I learned most people are a-holes and I could care less about criticism unless it is something to improve some type of skill set and I don't regress, if anything I have to take the reins because people act childish. ALL I HAD TO DO WAS DECENTER and make myself the CENTER. After a while, these issues are tiresome and irrelevant mostly pushed on women by a male dominated society, who constantly reminds us, we are never pretty, skinny, smart, rich, young or funny enough.
@dharma6525
9 ай бұрын
Same with men for the last part - not stable, strong, capable, earning enough etc.. Its not sex-centered 😉
@drpeditz42
2 ай бұрын
Im only 15 and i thought that all the things i was going through was apart of being a teenager. Out of all the 10 things you’ve said i relate to every single one of them. Im constantly worrying about what people think of me, i get attached really easily, i always need reassurance after i’ve done something and even after reassurance i think that there lying and there just saying that. I push people away because im scared that if they see the true me then they’ll never wanna talk to me ever again and they’ll just be disgusted by the thought of me. So i put on this mask so that people will like me and i’ll fit in. But then i realize that im trying to be like everyone else that i start to become myself again and everyone thinks theres something wrong with me when i act like myself😭. When people look at me or make a face towards me all i can think about for the rest of the day is why they looked at me and if theres something wrong with me because they did look at me. When im with a group of people and it’s quiet i feel entitled to speak up or say something and if i dont i give myself a hard time and i think about it so much then when someone tries to talk to me im just so stuck in my thoughts i dont even hear them. And when someone is talking about me and gives all these compliments about me and says one negative thing then thats all that matters to me i try to fix that area and most of the time it doesnt work so i just give myself a hard time about it and degrade myself into feeling like im nothing. I think i might have quiet bpd😭
@kelsiehogan576
Жыл бұрын
Whoa…. I feel like I need to talk to someone about this. I felt so seen in this video, and that’s a little scary, to be honest
@starzintheskyz4477
Жыл бұрын
Same
@correpanama818
3 ай бұрын
My daughter has been diagnosed and it has been a hard 10 years trying to; 1st get a diagnosis, 2nd dealing with all the ways this disorder affects her emotionally. She has hurt herself so many times and in so many ways that as parents we feel emotionally and physically drained by all the ups and downs. I read many of the comments and also listen to my daughter and understand it is hard for the person with the disorder, but it is also heart breaking for the family. We sometimes wonder if we will ever be able to prepare her for when we are no longer around to protect her.
@seanmichael374
Жыл бұрын
Now we’re at my issues, this is where I’m at. Can explain nearly 100 percent why this is me. But it doesn’t make itself known until abandonment, disrespect or rejection occurs. Depending on the person in question, sometimes I laugh it off and move on. Mostly.. I am affected even if a stranger walks up and says fuck you. I’ll think about it for weeks. I want everyone to be happy healthy, nice, and well. Like me; hear me see me. I don’t want to be famous, but I want to be known at least. Thought of. To me.. when I die, if nobody remembers me was I really alive?
@dharma6525
9 ай бұрын
Dont worry sean michael - provided you die before my memory, i will remember you ❤ Because why not
@dharma6525
9 ай бұрын
That might not be well phrased but hope it sounded nice and realistic 😂
@grabbelton
Жыл бұрын
This is me .. going to talk about this with my therapist
@Leslie-ye2is
4 ай бұрын
I believe I have quiet EPD everything you have said has made me sit up, this is my personality, I'm 51 and I inwardly feel extreme emotion, I have all the characteristics.
@edgreen8140
Жыл бұрын
Millon was a genius.
@lovingmother3915
10 ай бұрын
This is the most accurate video 🥺
@michelekurlan2580
5 ай бұрын
Ugh,all of the above. Isolation keeps reeling me in,but its not really a safe place. When I do leave my safety zone, it's often because there's grocery shopping to do or some practical reason.And I always feel better and I go to sleep feeling refreshed and looking forward to the next day and wake up the next day back to square one. There is way more, and i understand the origins of why i am defeated..multi- generational issues are at the heart of it. Most of the main offenders are dead. Their vouxes remain. I also know one of the best remedies for mental illness is responsibility. Then there is community, which i rejected long ago. It has been a very long struggle. So, I sits and I thinks,press,repeat. It's very difficult to understand why any parent would raise their child ir children to fail...the only way to understand this is to speculate that something(s) must have happened in their own childhood. This was always a secret of my moms. I am glad to say that I reached a level of compassion that I had been praying to have for years, before she died. Really, I didn't fail.I performed perfectly at the role I was given,that was scape goat. I need to get back into a therapist chair or something.I'm so tired of being in those offices,however, I know I've come a long way, especially since my mother died 3 years ago.Maybe i'm more open to heal now. BTW: this morning i put the words RADICAL ACCEPTANCE as screen saver on the cellfone. Not typically one to embrace pop-psych/pop culture tag-terms, but this one is helpful given the remaining family dynamics.
@mullinpeggy
Жыл бұрын
Trauma is not a disorder. Responses to trauma are normal not a disorder.
@__Qt
3 ай бұрын
I can't believe it. Everything she describes I experience regularly.
@adriansosialuk276
Жыл бұрын
Hi @Lise - love your channel. Quick question - based on your videos that I watched, what you describe as feelings of a person with QBPD awfully are similar to what a partner of a narcissist might feel like. How do you distinguish in this case what is what?
@kittylemew
Жыл бұрын
From my own experience and things I've learned, people with NPD & BPD are often attracted to each other. The source of both types are formed in childhood before they can even understand what's happening. People in relationships with an NPD will develop CPTSD on top of any other issues they may have.
@adriansosialuk276
Жыл бұрын
@@kittylemew I could not agree more with your statement. I learnt a lot since I posted my question. Have a great day!
@N0p3er5
Жыл бұрын
Oh, and ditching the label and meds (carefully, you're getting off of some dangerous drugs) made me stop isolating, and start putting my energy into caring for others.
@damiandennis3740
16 күн бұрын
This is my older brother,, this minute I'm the best and loving brother.. next week, it's like I'm talking to a completely different person when he's angry, and I'm the worst thing
@iBobbyFPS
11 ай бұрын
Wow I fit all 10 of these, just got out of a very intense relationship with someone and it made me realize that something is wrong with me and I’m not perceiving things correctly
@LiseLeblanc
11 ай бұрын
This is an important realization because with treatment (DBT), you can learn to manage your symptoms, leading to more stable relationships. Wishing you all the best!
@Paloma-bw2qe
8 ай бұрын
now i understand how my daughter feels..ever since she was little she misinterpreted my facial expressions and started crying shes a people pleaser and when they dont want what she offers she thinks they hate her. She is also a big perfectionest and gets mad when it doesnt turn out right.
@thelieke
Жыл бұрын
What is the difference between quiet bordeline and being a HSP?
@dollyannelewis3795
Жыл бұрын
This is a very enlightening description of Quiet Borderline.
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