Here's something to consider: you don't have to turn a hobby you enjoy into a side hustle. It's okay to do the thing just because you enjoy it and not to make money. But you do you! ;)
@bookishshenanigans4769
5 жыл бұрын
If you're going clubbing cook a pizza before you go, so when you get home you don't waste money on Dominos. Saves time and money!
@iriselisabeth9625
5 жыл бұрын
Oh my god thats genius
@katethegreat4918
3 жыл бұрын
LOL. I liked your comment even though I never have and never intend to go clubbing. 😂
@cutiepiemania45
3 жыл бұрын
Just so practical and I love it. And I only go clubbing once in a blue moon.
@isabellespray2085
5 жыл бұрын
Stop worrying about doing whatever it is you think you ‘should’ be doing at this age. Whether it’s going out, staying in, saving to by a house, having a long term partner, having a short term partner... Just because it’s what everyone else ‘seems’ to be doing, doesn’t mean you have to do it if it doesn’t make you happy!!!
@isabellespray2085
5 жыл бұрын
*buy
@isabellespray2085
5 жыл бұрын
I promise you I’m not illiterate really
@emzp88
5 жыл бұрын
This is great advice - still applies when you have gotten through your 20s. 30 is not a magic age when everything "falls into place" - the mentality that people by the time they get to age "whatever" and certain things are happening in their life needs to stop. For women the idea of being a mother as you get older also needs to stop. I feel like certain things in life only apply to women...
@SamarkandChan
5 жыл бұрын
@@isabellespray2085 you can actually edit comments on KZitem! :)
@memoriesandmud
5 жыл бұрын
I'm only 25, but here are some of my 'pearls of wisdom' in no particular order: - learn how to mend clothes and re-attach buttons - find your connection with nature/the great outdoors at the park, beach, rainforest etc. -- if you don't love it, you won't fight to protect/preserve it - compost your food scraps rather than sending them to landfill - if you prefer to shave your body hair, invest in a safety razor or electric shaver/epilator - wherever possible buy locally sourced, ethical and low waste options that suit your budget - stop buying bottled water if you have access to clean tap water (invest in a reusable water bottle that you love and find out where local water refill stations are) - invest in comfortable shoes that are designed to last and/or are able to be repaired easily - it's okay to attend concerts, comedy shows and film screenings on your own - write a shopping list before you go grocery shopping so that you are less likely to double-up on items you already have in your pantry/fridge - learn how to cook some of your favourite meals from scratch to the point where you don't need to refer to the recipe anymore - if you menstruate, consider buying a menstrual cup or washable menstrual undies/pads - if you can afford to do so, visit your dentist once a year - find a sport or form of exercise that you enjoy - acquire a library card and borrow books/DVDs/learning resources to save money and space in your home - create subfolders in your email inbox and unsubscribe to all of the newsletters/alerts that you no longer have interest in - consider buying items that are secondhand/preloved as opposed to brand new - stop buying products that contain micro beads because we don't need any extra plastic intentionally entering our waterways - consolidate your superannuation (401k) funds so that they are easier to keep track of - learn how to be money smart -- check out the Barefoot Investor (book) and The Pineapple Project (podcast) for ideas - get to know your neighbours
@jwatson11
5 жыл бұрын
LIBRARY CARDS, YESSSSSS
@lilymarie428
5 жыл бұрын
never think that you are too old to buy stickers. Seriously. Strick em anywhere. Everywhere. JUST BUY ALL THE PRETTY STICKERS
@katethegreat4918
3 жыл бұрын
I have too many stickers. Do you want some of mine?
@nellliesommer
3 жыл бұрын
And buy them from etsy, the best place to buy stickers imo
@andyhartley
5 жыл бұрын
My advice for people in their 20s is actually something I started doing in my 30s but wish I'd started earlier. If there's something big you want to do in your life - whether that be visiting a certain country, living in a certain place, or having that dream job - start planning for it now! It doesn't have to be concrete, just give yourself an idea of how you're going to achieve it and then you can do little things to get you closer to that goal, and when an opportunity presents itself you can grab it without hesitation.
@jwatson11
5 жыл бұрын
Yes! Especially if it's something that needs financial planning. Start putting aside anything for it (£20 is better than £0!) as well as starting the Pinterest board.
@whoislily
5 жыл бұрын
truly would love if u did a podcast, this is all so interesting i just want you to tell me what to do with my life
@ifwewerefeckless
5 жыл бұрын
lilsmy Lena does! It’s called I’m not being funny but... and it’s absolutely incredible!
@whoislily
5 жыл бұрын
Rebecca C now that's great news
@NinjaBunni13
5 жыл бұрын
As a fresh 20 year old, something I keep forgetting is HOW MUCH TIME I HAVE. I feel like I’m so behind and running out of time, I forget I am still so, so young and have all the time and room in the world to make mistakes!
@leviwhealey3516
5 жыл бұрын
I love the idea of the twenties toolkit - such a good idea! Two pieces of advice I wish I knew years ago: 1. Listen to people who aren’t academics! You don’t have to have a degree in a subject to be an expert, you don’t have to have all the academic jargon to be able to speak on a subject. It’s actually quiet classist to assume academics know better! 2. Capitalism relies on you being miserable to sell you shit to help you “improve” your life. Nothing you can buy is actually going to improve your life - self improvement comes from working on yourself. Thanks for the vids Leena ❤️
@wiebelziel
5 жыл бұрын
Honestly I feel like there are more people that don't listen to academics than people that do.
@lilithcarter
5 жыл бұрын
There were a couple of life changing experiences that taught me: 1. Putting myself before others isn’t narcissistic is self love. (Pleasing people regardless of my own opinion/feelings isn’t always a good thing) 2. Changing jobs, carrier, countries, homes, partners, opinions, isn’t necessarily being unstable, it’s living!!!!! 3. Travel light 4. Stop caring too much about material items 5. Saving money for emergencies is a good habit I wish I started earlier in life.
@mollyn03
5 жыл бұрын
1. Don't be embarrassed to ask shop attendants/ushers/people who give you info at airports etc. stupid questions. It's their job and, so long as you're polite, it's OK - JUST ASK. 2. Don't be scared of your 30's - getting older just means you know more stuff and knowing more stuff rocks. To be fair, I'm only a couple of years in to mine, but OH MY am I loving them. 3. No one has all the answers and no one knows how to live your life better than you. Lots of people think they do, but they're wankers. To be fair, there may be exceptions to this rule, but I haven't found any as yet . Lets just say there's a good statistical probability that what they are telling you is more wank than not.
@pastellewitch
5 жыл бұрын
I've been digging through your channel the past few days and I love your take on things, it's very refreshing! I turned 30 past September so here are some of the things I learned in my 20s. This one used to annoy the crap out of me: nothing changes if nothing changes. If you keep doing the same thing, approaching the issue or situation in the same way, don't be surprised that you don't get a different result. It sounds really obvious but you'd be surprised how many times you can fall back on old patterns and old habits. Which brings me to life isn't about maintaining the perfect strike. You will mess up, skip a day, a week or month, the important thing is that you don't let one mistake or many discourage you. I don't know where the idea that if you stumble you should give up on something. Learn from those mistakes, realize why you messed up and use that to your advantage for the next round. Also, you don't have to be good at something to do it or enjoy it. Does it make you happy? Does it bring you something positive? Does it enrich your life? That's plenty. You don't have to become a pro at it or turn it into a hustle. It can simply be a nice thing just for you. Even if you suck at it. Professionals are not gods. Doctors, healthcare professional, lawyers, etc. are human beings with their own bias and quirks and failings. Go get as many second and third opinions as you need especially if something feels off. Don't hesitate to question and ask for explanation or clarity. If they don't respect you or believe you because you're young or woman or both (or a minority in any way) try to find someone else. Find people that are dedicated to your well-being and who are nerds and passionate about their field. If they're not invested in you they're not going to give you as much you deserve sadly. Also, be wary of any professional who avoids or hesitate to refer you to someone else. If they really care about your well being, they won't put their pride or ego above getting you the best care even if it's with someone else. (Can you tell I live with chronic pain?) All the energy, time, patience and devotion you are willing to give to a partner give to yourself first. You will be your longest relationship, from birth to death. Get to know yourself, spend time with yourself, work on yourself because at the end of the day no relationship is gonna heal you or fix you. You have everything that you need inside of you. A romantic relationship should be a bonus. Stop seeing yourself as the enemy. Scarcity mindset begets scarcity. When you view everything through the lens of scarcity it changes your mindset and you're not open to opportunities, relationships, and solutions that could change your life. I come from an abusive background and I spent most of my 20s learning to change my perspective and try to see things from different angles. My first thought when I have an idea for something is to find all the flaws and problems with it to the point where there's no reason to even try. That's a bias on the negative because I never make the list of all the things that could go right. I'm still practicing and learning this one. There is no such thing as a guilty pleasure. The only two things that are labeled guilty pleasure are things that are considered cheesy or things that are considered problematic. Life is way too short not to openly enjoy the things that you love just because they're seen as corny. If your conscience is clear then just do you. If people judge you for it is a bigger reflection on their character than yours. Small gestures of kindness never go unnoticed. Whether it's a thank you card, some chocolates or sweets, or simply smiling and thanking someone earnestly, people will remember you for that. You have no idea how some of those gestures may come back to you in a positive way and open the way for things you never expected. I'll stop here before this turns to complete novel!
@NinjaBunni13
5 жыл бұрын
I love this comment! So much goodness here, definitely screencapping.
@nimrodgrrrl
4 жыл бұрын
Found this comment a year later. I also live with chronic pain and come from an abusive background. This helped. Thank you!
@sophiel.2465
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm in my mid-twenties and currently a little lost so this was really helpful. I especially could relate to the abusive past and the old pattern focusing on the possible negative outcome way too much. So now I'm going to apply your tip of making a list with all the things that could go right. You helped me to feel less lost and alone :)
@alixpage7262
5 жыл бұрын
I’m here for a 20s toolkit series! 🙌🏽
@elizabethroyerjohnson4992
5 жыл бұрын
Yes!! I would definitely watch this.
@MirandaPurpleClouds
5 жыл бұрын
Me too!
@PrincessJasmineFliesAway
5 жыл бұрын
i'm 21 but i am graduating in july and felt the need to say this for anyone else in their 20s: UNIVERSITY MAY OR MAY NOT BE THE BEST TIME IN YOUR LIFE. DON'T FORCE IT TO BE THE BEST - IT WILL NEVER LIVE UP TO THAT SPECIFIC POP CULTURE REFERENCE AND THAT IS OKAY. i didn't meet my best friends for life at university or go on amazing adventures; i learnt how to work with people who don't want to be there, i got into debt, i gained a lot of weight and i discovered things about my mental health and that is okay. these last three years have been the w o r s t but i have learnt so much from them and will be gladly stepping into the future!
@aliceb7364
5 жыл бұрын
'Louder for the people at the back', I relate. best of luck :)
@PrincessJasmineFliesAway
5 жыл бұрын
Alice B thank you so much!
@eve3275
5 жыл бұрын
Princess Jasmine Flies Away I’m in awe you have literally described my university experience so far (it’s almost finished) and this made me feel tons better. Thank you for this comment!
@DollyPopCorp
5 жыл бұрын
Learn to laugh at yourself and your life. Even if it's hard. Finding the humour is actually a great way to empower yourself and bring you through difficult things in life.
@thiccnuthun6367
5 жыл бұрын
Whenever you're working or in a situation with people you want to be like someday, make the most of it. Pick their brain, ask them questions about their life and how they got where they are today. It might be intimidating, but I have found that a lot of people are really willing to share. Hearing first-hand stories is incredibly inspiring and will give you ideas for your own future. Everyone was in your shoes at some point.
@TheSingingPeople
5 жыл бұрын
20's toolkit sounds great!! Would love to hear from you on how to work through conflict with a friend/more on how to move on from friendships that aren't working
@holycrappitsjo
5 жыл бұрын
WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES. Your ankles/knees/hips/back will thank you as they carry you into your 30s. What I'm saying is, yes, Chuck Taylor's are real cute with everything, but it's not worth the hobbling. At least invest in some ortho inserts.
@TessaAvonlea
5 жыл бұрын
You should try Chuck IIs. They have a vastly superior insole to standard converse, though admittedly still not as comforable as full on asics trainers. They are a good compromise!
@manythingsoflife
5 жыл бұрын
The "you are allowed to leave" comment reminded me of a comment by you or maybe Carrie Hope Fletcher about not having to finish books you don't like/enjoy/find value. Great advice 👍
@TessaAvonlea
5 жыл бұрын
RE the dyslexia comment... I don't have dyslexia (at least not officially diagnosed) but i do have a chronic illness and a related dilemma: I am constantly torn between my two options - a) tell people in some level of detail and then have them make judgements based on their very limited understanding of my condition or b) don't tell them and let people think it's an irritating personality quirk. This isn't advice, but a work in progress. Will hopefully figure it out by the end of my 20s.
@laurajones7623
5 жыл бұрын
Hi! As someone with both dyslexia and a chronic health condition one thing I've learnt in my 20s (turning 27 this year woo) is that telling people is an option I make for my own comfort on a situation-to-situation basis. It's hard but phrasing it to myself as a choice for me that makes me more comfortable given the situation rather than as a shorthand way of apologising for something I have little to no control over really helps. I don't need to explain myself but if it'll make me more comfortable in the moment- absolutely!
@elizabethmcintosh6722
5 жыл бұрын
Ahh the bossing plan B thing resonates so much! Is it good? Can you make a video on this? I’d love to hear your thoughts!!
@averekriz
5 жыл бұрын
Elizabeth McIntosh your profile picture is very beautiful!
@elizabethmcintosh6722
5 жыл бұрын
ave rekriz thanks!
@Alice-on3cm
5 жыл бұрын
I've only made it to the advice saying you're allowed to leave so if you're wondering who needed to hear that, hello! Studying abroad for my language degree, have been hating it from the start, and told myself I'd see it through because that's what I have to do. Today, it dawned on me how badly I want to go home. Decided to watch some youtube before emailing my lecturers in my home university to ask about what would happen if I decided to leave early and I landed here. Not 100% sure what to do as I only have two months left so I could just endure it but I realized today I can go if I need to and having it reiterated in this video made me feel better than I have in a while. Thank you.
@siobhan223
5 жыл бұрын
ItsRadishTime's advice is excellent. I had to learn the hard way last year that perhaps my 12 year old self didn't know enough to choose a career for the rest of my life. It took me a long time to realise that it was ok to leave behind 10+ years of focusing on making it in my "dream career" if that dream ultimately was making me unhappy.
@ItsRadishTime
5 жыл бұрын
yes! my most recent instance pf this was taking a job that I thought was a dream job. Turned out to be truly miserable, but I wanted to stick it out at least a year. 6 months in my mom was like, i mean don't do this with every job, but it's not gonna get any better from here. I left and am so much happier.
@jadesham9401
5 жыл бұрын
i'm nineteen and i feel like you're the cool, smart older sister i never had! it's amazing
@kaywilsonillustration
5 жыл бұрын
ah leena this has been an incredible couple of videos!! your stuff is always great but this has been particularly affirming and healing if i could add one bit of advice that i've learned in my early - mid twenties, it's that you will get second chances (although maybe not in the way you expect them). when i was in art school there was this idea that if you don't put yourself forward for this opportunity right now then poof it's gone forever and then you die or something! maybe you didn't put yourself forward for something, or you just weren't ready and you missed something or didn't quite get it. so what? we really romanticise these "once in a life time opportunities" and get stuck on what we miss, when really the game is get yourself prepared for and working towards the second chance. (part of working towards getting the second chance is definitely do the thing!!! without getting too precious about it lol) also if your stuck in a situation that is bringing you stress, anxiety, despair etc following "it's not my fault but it is my problem" is like life changing and would recommend it to everyone
@mollyn03
5 жыл бұрын
YES. I studied Music and really thought that if I didn't have everything sorted by my mid-twenties than everything I was working for would be for nothing - not surprisingly this gave me anxiety and burn out... really wish I had taken this advice back then.
@bucca2
3 жыл бұрын
That first tip could be especially helpful for abuse victims, because most of the time they are unhappy but they stay for a myriad of reasons, one of which is often that they are gaslit to care more about their abuser than themselves.
@booksvsmovies
5 жыл бұрын
I'm 3 years away from my twenties but advice I wish I had when I was younger is not to take peoples thoughts and opinions as the gospel truth of a matter. So many people on the internet speak with a lot of authority about topics and issues but that doesn't mean they are right about them. Evaluate what is being told to you before spouting it out to others. TLDR: Just cause someone on Tumblr said a thing doesn't mean it's true. Fact check things.
@mariluzgil-cervantes1030
5 жыл бұрын
I'm 19 and so will be entering my 20s before too long and so this is all very handy stuff!! Very intrigued by the tights idea.
@rebeccamichaels6953
3 жыл бұрын
Don’t just “do what you love” - actively avoid doing things you don’t like! Learn to recognize what makes you unhappy or stressed, and don’t do them!!! Whether it means saying no, making new routines, or resetting your goals, find a way to avoid unnecessary sources of stress and sadness. Purging the bad stuff from your life doesn’t just save you the agony of going through it day after day, it also gives you so much more time to do the things you DO like.
@ItsRadishTime
5 жыл бұрын
late 20s gang gang 🖤
@susanoxburgh8835
5 жыл бұрын
So late to this party, but the best thing I've learnt is to assume the best intentions. It's easy to get angry or annoyed because you think people are purposely being rude or blunt with you, but it could actually be that they didn't express themselves properly, the reason they're angry is because of personal issues that you can't see, the thing they're getting annoyed about is actually really important, etc.
@melaniemurphyofficial
5 жыл бұрын
This is such a LOVELY video idea!
@averekriz
5 жыл бұрын
ok one tip and one answer. i'm 19, but best thing ever: make friends much older than you who dont look down upon you bc you're young. you can learn from each other and it takes away the fear from aging. i have a couple of friends who are over 30 and we're happy as a clam to have each other. it's not weird. secondly, i needed to hear the leaving thing. my dream used to be to study english in the netherlands, and while i'm still determined to study english and get into publishing, the netherlands aren't right perhaps. i'm gonna move to germany again for several reasons, which is gonna make my life much easier, especially because of my mental health. sometimes what seems like a step back can be the best step forward.
@RazzleRed543
5 жыл бұрын
I’m only 23 so I don’t feel qualified to give advice but I’m really appreciating taking it all in!
@aurora6812
2 жыл бұрын
Something I wanted to add but I guess I still need to learn myself: STOP putting things off just because you feel like you’re not ready. And I’m not saying: jump in without thinking about it properly, but there will always be things you can’t prepare for. I’ve been holding myself back for so long and with that thinking that happiness will come later too, ‘when I’m ready’. One example of this is wanting a dog. We’ve had a dog in my family when I was younger, the situation seemed perfect, but then my mom died and we had to figure out how to handle it all. But we did. Now, years later, I would love to get another dog, but I feel like I can’t because; what if I don’t have enough time or enough money. Thing is, there wil always be obstacles, you just have to figure out how to work around those.
@natalieajax-lewis4752
4 жыл бұрын
If you have a goal, make a plan to achieve it. This is a very privileged example I recognise that, but for my financial situation it worked for me. For example for almost all of my teens I wanted to go travelling but didn't have the resources to do it. I saved up for five years and in 2018 I spent 9 months travelling around Singapore, Australia and New Zealand completely by myself on my own dime. Spending almost all of my house fund money on it. Two years later, I'm back home in a much better job and I've already saved more money than I originally went with.
@zoeatrics
5 жыл бұрын
20s toolkit is a great name! Fun fact: watched the first video and later that SAME DAY my tights were falling down, so winning at 25 right now. My hottest 20s lesson at the moment is - there is no such thing as wasted time because you learn from everything, and you have to allow yourself that space to learn. Acknowledge the maybe bad things you caused yourself/others (if any), mourn (as needed), and then find out what that lesson was. There is always a lesson!
@jwatson11
5 жыл бұрын
One frivolous piece of advice, one practical money saving one and one heartfelt one from a nearly 31 year old (who is also loving her thirties so far 😊). 1. Frivolity - along the dancing lines, make a playlist of all the tunes that make you want to GET UP AND BOOGY and call it -wait for it- your Cleaning Playlist. I promise you cleaning is so much more fun if you are also listening to some bangers (my cleaning playlist is currently 150+ songs long) 2. Practical! Do not underestimate the amount of stuff you can get discounted or free, particularly in your younger twenties. This is particularly true in London (where a number of theatres offer £5 - £15 tickets for folk under 26ish - at The National Theatre these are often front row seats) to paying entry galleries in European cities (take your driving licence/student card on holiday with you). Also railcard obvs. 3. I love Leena's talk about data gathering - so my heartfelt advice is to make some time and space for the analysis of that data and trying out different responses. Like the jealousy idea, what was it about that time you were frustrated or angry about something? Were you actually angry or you just needed something to eat (it me)? Should you take snacks next time? (yes) Why did I have an almost imperceptible feeling like I 'wasted' last weekend? Was it because I only did chores - or because I did none and now the week is stressful because its filled with extra tasks like washing and cleaning? What if I always tried to maintain a balance of fun and keeping the ship afloat in my down time? (spoilers: this works incredibly well for me)
@christinehollermann1806
5 жыл бұрын
Love the community sharing and being a contributor! Something I wish I’d known in my 20s (And teens for that matter): people and society have a tendency to romanticize youth and minimize what they’ve survived. Meaning double invalidation for young people and adults. Being young is hard. Having all the options only sounds good in theory. It’s overwhelming, it’s confusing at times, there’s some serious fumbles from time to time and it’s okay to take the space to feel that and advocate for your perspective. Frankly being younger was the hardest thing I ever did and felt awful because it was supposed to be the time of my life according to the world and often it was not. I wish someone would’ve told me I’d age into the life I wanted and the person I wanted to be. That my best years we’re still ahead. I would’ve stressed way less.
@karin4436
5 жыл бұрын
I spent two years prepping to get into the Academy of Music in Sweden and I was so happy when I got in. Took me about two semesters before I realised, I don’t want to do this. Because music unis in Sweden are quite prestigious and hard to get in to I felt so bad for not enjoying it and feeling out of place (especially since my parents are both musicians and went to the same school). When my best friend told me ”You’re allowed to leave, it’s okay” it was like a huge weight off my shoulders. Now I’m much more relaxed about change
@rachelthompson5990
5 жыл бұрын
Love these vids! As someone with dyslexia and other learning disabilities that advice was an interesting take. One take away for everyone: stop making fun of spelling errors or someone messing up when reading aloud or speaking. It’s not a sign of intelligence, assuming it is can be harmful and ableist. Help us all out by calling it out when you see it. I have learned two things about having learning disabilities (I’m mid 20’s) as an adult: 1. People will judge you for it if you tell them but don’t educate them. I have had teachers, professors, and coworkers who assumed I was lazy or stupid instead of understanding how my brain works! So it goes! Learning to own and work with my brain is the work of my life, and I think whatever makes that work easier is the right path. Sometimes it’s good to be fully open with people about yourself, and you can teach them about diversity in the process. sometimes you do not have to! It’s work to educate people and it’s not your only job. You get to decide situationally. 2. It is not going to go away! It would be good to get some therapy and learn to be kind to yourself. You need to relearn that at each kid stage (or at least I have). School, college, work, you may need new strategies or to work a little harder at different things in each of these. That’s ok, give yourself credit for the work you’re doing and don’t judge yourself because it’s hard.
@SeaShellKisses
5 жыл бұрын
The advice about leaving behind things that you worked for, things that you thought you wanted, is hitting me so hard rn. I spent the last 4 years getting my PhD. I succeeded, and it's really cool, but do I want to stay in academia??? I'm 28 next month and, honestly, I don't think I can do the job market. It's really rough: most young academics in my field end up doing 5+ years moving all over the Western hemisphere, from temporary contract to temporary contract before maybe landing a permanent job in their late 30s/early 40s. It's hard to tell whether I'm burned out or if I've actually lost interest for real, but I don't love teaching the way I used to: some difficult students and bad departmental behaviour (pay disputes) have left me feeling detached and looking for a way out. But it's hard to admit that you put in all of this effort and you were wrong about what you wanted. Or maybe I've changed. It's particularly difficult for young women in this field because, if you want children (as I do), those fertile years are the years with the least stability/the most travelling. It's part of why there are so few women in senior academic roles: so, that feels like surrendering, too. I think I'm slowly trying to admit to myself that I want to walk away. I worry about whether, as you point out, I'm just giving up on Plan A because it's hard. IDK. My advice for your 20s: unless you live in a major metropolitan area with reliable public transport, learn to drive if you can. Make it so that you never have to rely on someone else (especially a partner) to get to where you need to be.
@nenemaria-cornfieldsgarden
5 жыл бұрын
I think the biggest thing I took from my 20s is it's ok to still feel lost and not really have a big life plan. The career, house, car, kids etc. You don't have to keep up with everyone else and you don't have to do what's expected of you by society, your parents or peers. I gained so much more clarity in my early 30s, it felt like it all naturally fell into place. My 20s felt like the wild experiment, the beginning of my life education and exploration. The ups and downs, good and bad, taught me what I did and didn't want from life. I'm now in my mid 30s and feel like I've got my shit in order and have a clear picture of my future goals and life plans that I was panicking about not having in my 20s. None of them include kids, cars or marriage either 😂
@michaelasimon6694
4 жыл бұрын
Yes about dyslexia! Being in grad school and being dyslexic- it can such, people think they are smarter than you, it's always a sore point. But I have some advice myself- look up books about dyslexia. I listened to Gladwells books that talks about it. Dyslexia is a super power.
@asil4521
5 жыл бұрын
Been watching you for at least 6 years and have always loved your videos, you always have such an interesting way of thinking about things. If you haven’t already got a video on it, I’d love to hear any advice you have for new graduates. I’ll be done with uni in just over 4 weeks and officially graduating in July and the thought of entering ~the real world~ and having to seriously consider careers and what I want from life etc is absolutely terrifying lol
@jwatson11
5 жыл бұрын
Something from me and on behalf of other pals who graduated 10 years ago - the first thing you choose doesn't have to be the thing you do forever. Careers don't have 'choices' in the way they used to. I have a number of friends who did grad schemes, completed them and decided that they wanted to do something completely different. My partner was a documentary film maker for ten years before going back to do the right A levels to get into medical school (and is now a doctor). I got a few years into working in policy before realising the most important thing to me was to be able to leave London, so I changed tack. So please give yourself a break about 'having' to make all the major decisions now. It's helpful to have some structure for where you might want to get to, of course, but it's in no way necessary. Other random advice: I found starting an everyday 9-5 routine completely and utterly exhausting even though I'd come straight from (I thought) quite an intense schedule from my Masters. So when you get a job, give yourself some time to adjust!
@chelseasaraharnott2495
5 жыл бұрын
Would love to hear more about the plan b stuff?? For me I choose plan b mostly because the security attached with it is something I need. Would love to hear your thoughts on integrating plan a back in your life, even in small ways. Would love this to be a longer ongoing series, even if some of them are just a video focusing in on one tip!
@krisztinanagy8818
3 жыл бұрын
I know it's an older video but I've learnt that no-one gains from torturing yourself to death with work or anything else. You do your obligations as well as everything else better if you allow yourself to feel good and rest when you need to. When you allow yourself to fulfill your needs. If you suffer those who you suffer for won't get the best possible outcome either so if you suffer to be good you do everyone else (as well as yourself) a huge disservice.
@ivajaric39
5 жыл бұрын
a 30 y.o. just less than a month away from being 31 here. Being 30 was the best thing that ever happened to me, and that says a lot if you one other fact - the past year has been the worst one I ever had by far. But - I've accumulated enough data in my twenties, so I am now much more resilient to shit that happens - you just know you will get through it, because you've already gone through a lot successfully :) My advice would be: 1. Just because you think he is The One, doesn't mean you KNOW him. 2. You will eventually change your views on what true love is. 3. The only way to know what somebody is feeling is to ask them. Your assumptions are often wrong, because your point of views are different. 4. You can really choose how to live your life. You are not, I repeat, you are NOT obliged to live how any other person thinks you should. And, eventually, you will become braver about this one. 5. Eventually you will have to accept you don't understand the younger generations. True story. And I have to say - Leena, I adore you, truly I do. Will be joining the Gumption Club these days, it's time.
@mathieubarnes5324
5 жыл бұрын
I don’t know if someone has already suggested this, but you should collab with Starpuppy. She’s got an entire playlist dedicated to surviving your 20s on her channel and it would be great to see two fab KZitemrs come together to share some advice.
@za2648
5 жыл бұрын
Yes this needs to happen ^.^
@RoisinsReading
5 жыл бұрын
I took your rice advice(TM) from your last video. Life changing.
@dawnhapgood2907
3 жыл бұрын
I’m 32 nearly 33 and it’s true it really is the best decade so far! I feel more confident, give less f***s and feel like I have grown into my looks and style. Plus not many people will say this but sex is waaaay better in your 30s because you know your body and what you like (and not tolerate),
@AhsanteB
5 жыл бұрын
Aw, thanks for the mention! *does a mini dance out in my seat* The bit about having a "dream" career but not wanting the lifestyle that goes along with it is so true - that's something tough but important that I had to realize about professional dance and performance.
@bettyreads222
5 жыл бұрын
Such a great pair of videos; I think my go to is stop apologizing. I don't say sorry anymore, I say excuse me or whatever else unless I actually do something I need to apologize for. Another piece of advice I wish I heard in my early twenties was around debt; credit card debt is avoidable if you pay it off as you accumulate it. Not what I've done, so I've spent the latter part of my 20's just trying to pay it off and hope to be done by 30, two years to go so we'll see!
@FriendJamie
5 жыл бұрын
I’m loving the sound of 20’s toolkit! It’s what we all need in our lives 🙌🏻💙
@lilly88849
5 жыл бұрын
As a dyslexic/dyspraxia I think its really important to talk to your friends about it! especially if you live with them, the more people around you understand you the less alone you will feel and the less they might get annoyed at things you have reasons for. x
@annatucci7631
5 жыл бұрын
YES my terrified 22 year old self needs all the 20-something advice ! How do I make scary/big decisions (and not "make" the decision by ignoring it until the opportunity goes away..), how do I live with the consequences, how do I forgive my mistakes, how do I deal with uncertainty, how do I deal with the changing/new relationship I have to my parents, how do I figure out what my identity is/embrace that true self, how do I not vomit when I try to flirt with people (that one might be too specific sorry) ETC
@doctorwholover1012
3 жыл бұрын
I wish my parents had drilled the "you are allowed to leave" pointwhen I started my GCSEs (age 14, when I was also employed) , we could have avoided a full year of trauma I'm still processing now (age 22) and my mum having to threaten legal action against the school if I'd just known that when I was being unfairly targeted/abused by That Teacher I could have just..... walked out of the classroom 😅 I would hide in the toilets before the class and then spend minutes revving myself up to go in bc I was a 'good kid' and good kids dont skip lessons. Nowadays I wouldn't have put up with it and would have just left and called the reception on my way home letting them know I wasn't in the building in case of a fire alarm.
@kgmcclintictock4399
5 жыл бұрын
I love a surviving your 20´s toolbox. Wish I had something to watch when I was 19/20 and floundering alone in NYC. We are also coming up on the year 2020...so it´s apt. What I have learned: You have time. You have so much time to practice being a human, take a few deep breaths and acknowledge but throw away whatever timeline of success is in your head(by 24 I will be married, by 28 I will...etc). It takes time to build the stamina of all the adult things you are BEGINNING to do. You are training at surviving on your own and you will not get this perfectly ever. You first have to figure out how to pay bills and eat, than you can start to find friends that are kindred, then keep moving up Maslow´s pyramid to a place where you know what feeds your soul and how you want to contribute on a larger scale. This may sometimes feel like you have taken a huge step backwards from where you were as a teenager because safety, security and basic needs were met by someone else, it´s not backwards it is growth. My roommate advice, give everyone grace. My best roommates(3 years, 7 different roommate configurations) were in an apartment where we had a rule of: We all mess up, and life happens, make sure something happens three times before addressing the issue with your roommate. This helped us all not blow up when we were annoyed, avoid passive aggression and only comment on each others bad habits, not one-time circumstances. Also, a cleaning schedule, a list of supplies, and a money envelope for shared items on the fridge that everyone puts 5 bucks in a week are lifesavers. For tights, tights made for Dancers actually stay up(especially if you have large thighs) They also don´t get runs as easily. Capezio, Bloch are some good brands. Finally, if you have a slightly larger foot, get men´s shoes. They literally are better quality, more comfortable and last longer in a city. They are just shoes. I wish I had done this immediately. (Size 10US 41/42EU size=Men´s 8US 41EU)
@Isabel-zq3vn
5 жыл бұрын
Follow your gut!! I knew that I wouldn’t enjoy taking the mix of classes I had enrolled in, but I did it anyway because others reassured me that I would be okay. At the end of it all however, I am the one taking these classes and I regret taking them all at once. You know what’s best for you, take advice from others if needed, but don’t doubt your intuition and sabotage yourself. Listen to yourself.
@briannasimpson6209
3 жыл бұрын
new subscriber!! love your videos!! it's like talking to a big sister or close older friend :')
@angestoddard9568
5 жыл бұрын
I'm turning 23 this year and all of this advice is so APPRECIATED. Can also confirm that late last year I finally learned how to cook rice properly.
@567jesscat
5 жыл бұрын
used your rice method. Went great. THANKS BABE
@suziejmm
5 жыл бұрын
Liking the idea of a 20s toolkit! I've also learnt the importance of not being too much of a people pleaser v recently. My impulse is to say yes to everything (this has led to a whole variety of trouble/ interesting events, from v minor things to once being reported missing for 8 hours in Kenya lol), and I also know that I try and undo things when they go wrong - both are actually pretty awful traits with the opposite effect to people pleasing, as people understandably get annoyed or disappointed when you're late/ fuck up and don't explain somehow/ flaky. I'm v much trying to be realistic in what I tell people, and am also trying to own up immediately and let people in on my mistakes where appropriate. Hopefully will lead to more sensible decisions, more control, and being more trustworthy in a sense I guess - Suzie, aged 24 years and 13 days, still growing 🌱
@cayleighmusic
3 жыл бұрын
I'm only 22 but if there is something you want to experience, make plans for it! Don't let leave it on a bucket list.
@rfox3513
5 жыл бұрын
In my twenties and just soaking this in
@aileenwilson2444
5 жыл бұрын
As a tiny baby (I'm 20 going on 21) the one valuable lesson I think that I'm learning as I enter my twenties is that often your perception of yourself is not how others perceive you. Also, invest in a rucksack, your shoulders and neck will thank you.
@aimeetaylor4800
5 жыл бұрын
Just ended my 3 year relationship and these videos are the only things that’s made me genuinely smile and laugh. You are wonderful
@iiiCupCakeiii1
5 жыл бұрын
Learn. to. COMMUNICATE Communicate your feelings, your wants, your needs, what you like, what you don't like, what you can or can't do, learn to ask for help. People can't read your mind and other people have different wants and needs as you SO JUST FREAKING TELL PEOPLE. It will make your relationships better, your friendships, your learning experience, your sex life. I just recently learned to communicate and it makes SUCH a difference. It's hard to learn and you never stop learning but it's so worth it.
@CrazyProfesser
5 жыл бұрын
I agree with silence sometimes being a better contribution (though I need to get better at that), particularly when it comes to complaints. Sometimes a good bitch is fun but if you complain about something that happened on your tube journey that wasn't particularly interesting that thing will become part of the conversation and only bug you more when otherwise you might have forgotten about it.
@Sophie-uc5vh
5 жыл бұрын
I would go so far as to say that “I don’t know” should be your default answer unless you really, really REALLY know, because you are still a literal child, relatively. 9/10 you just don’t know enough, and the more you remind yourself of that, the more you allow yourself to learn and grow and all that nice shit. This comes from an early 20s person (23) though so I don’t know what it’s worth!
@quinsomnia4934
2 жыл бұрын
Only just started my 20's but my advice is to get your health stuff checked! Including stuff like gynecology, and especially if your guardian(s?) may have missed something. If your doctor or psyhologist doesnt listen to you, you can get a second opinion or a new one. Health professionals are not immune to dumbassery or bigotry.
@omgdrummer
5 жыл бұрын
This advice has all been absolutely fantastic but honestly the best part of this video are the mean girls references at the end. Also PS. for dress wearers, a basic black will always go a long way. They exist for a reason. ALSO criss cross your bobby pins!!! They'll stay in place!
@eliana3638
3 жыл бұрын
Really enjoy your channel :)
@triflepercy
5 жыл бұрын
Also it's genuinely quite hard to properly fuck up your life. Most of the time, even if you've made a mess of things in the moment, in the long-term it'll probably work out ok. One bad decision or disappointment doesn't determine the course of the rest of your life
@daisymoon8
5 жыл бұрын
My plan B is going great too! Would love to hear more about yours
@lemonmiranda4233
5 жыл бұрын
4:55 THANK YOU FlyDorsch you wonderful human for completely validating my experience. I’m going through this exact thing at the moment, where I adore theatre but I also love too many other things to totally commit myself to it and people keep questioning me and saying I could do it if I really tried or cared about it. The whole “follow your dreams” thing really bothers me because which one do I follow??? I have so MANY and I some I just have to let go of because they’re not realistic for me and there are other ways for me to be happy and keep hold of everything I love
@EudaemonicGirl
5 жыл бұрын
I wouldn't worry about being happy with excelling at plan B. I'm doing OK at plan E and as long as I can pay my rent and feed myself I shouldn't complain. Not all of us will self-actualise in our life time.
@kaitlyntrussell2489
5 жыл бұрын
I am 19 and a bit and rlly into the idea of hearing your ongoing advice on ur 20s!
@samantha-pd5mq
5 жыл бұрын
Enjoyed both these advice videos so much, and feel more excited for the rest of my 20s because of them! (also just listened to wicked on audible on your recommendation and BOY did I enjoy it, thank you)
@Marietonilamont
5 жыл бұрын
ive just found your channel and im obsessed. It is so lovely to get some advice as i am just turning 20 in June.
@kaitieskates
5 жыл бұрын
Woohoo! I was included! For Leena, sorry I am so longwinded. Hard to be concise when you have so many thoughts.
@jenniferchristian8115
5 жыл бұрын
Haha another comment from 20 year old me, but something I have learnt in the last month or so is that bullying isn’t always black and white, a lot of the time it can be grey. It’s hard to deal with, my heart goes out to those who are going or who went through it like I did. But as you said about the relationship thing, it’s okay to try to distant yourself as much as possible for both your sakes. Also find a healthy hobby you can learn or improve to focus whilst dealing with it. For me it was trying rugby for the first time and it was quite possibly one of my best decision this academic year xx
@ching-hangcheung5953
4 жыл бұрын
Amazing top!
@thequestionedpodcast
5 жыл бұрын
Amazing video As someone who is just about to enter their twenties this has been so helpful :)
@penelopedalessandro193
5 жыл бұрын
So, i'm turning 21 and my question is how can i interact and have an informative discussion with people that are just ignorant without getting upset and start screaming/crying over the fact that they can actually vote and have an impact on the politics of my country (italy)? (Not joking i get so frustreted and just can't contain myself in front of everyone. Please help!)
@emmi3785
5 жыл бұрын
I feel you, but I can't know your reality totally. In our country (Finland), I'm much more worried on older generations, who just doesn't check on, what the party they started to vote 20-50 years ago, is doing right now. :,( Just do your best and talk to young people you know. Maybe they will spread the message to their friends etc. To not get provoked is vital! You can do it. :*
@penelopedalessandro193
5 жыл бұрын
@@emmi3785 thank you, I just hope we will make better choices than the ones they made and are currently making
@mollyn03
5 жыл бұрын
Challenge any false assumptions (e.g. if they quote something as fact that isn't ask them explain). Try and have a conversation rather than lecturing the person. Knowing your stuff really well also helps, that way you can quote facts yourself so you look (and are) informed. ALSO take care of your self - this kind of thing is exhausting and you can't always argue the point. Although I always will to call out anything that is really aweful (e.g. racist comments, homophobia etc.) sometimes I don't have the energy or emotional strength to get into a full on debate, so after stating my point I change the topic or physically leave the conversation (i.e. move away from the people talking). Your mental health is important, too.
@penelopedalessandro193
5 жыл бұрын
@@mollyn03 the conversation over the lecturing is something I really have to work on, I understand it doesn't come across as something good but sometimes it's hard cause they feel the need to share they're opinion without being informed
@mollyn03
5 жыл бұрын
@@penelopedalessandro193 I used to have heaps of trouble with this, too. It's hard. But I have found I get way further if I ask questions rather than telling someone they are wrong. The other person needs to feel heard or they turn off and don't listen to you at all. Also, if you can get them to realise (through questioning) that they don't understand something fully, or that there is a flaw in their logic, this really helps. I have found that it helps to really know your facts though, because often people will tell you things that aren't true in order to back up their point and you need to be able to call them on it (politely).
@mia.jade.
5 жыл бұрын
Enjoyed this so much! Including the attempt at a channel description at the beginning. Also: kinda mindblowing for some reason to see a Vlogbrothers reference in one of your videos?? Would be interested to know how much / when you watch / have watched Hank & John.
@emmeline-tyler
5 жыл бұрын
An extended Mean Girls reference never goes unappreciated
@TheGabygael
4 жыл бұрын
I'm entering my fourth year at my university and i never left it because I though that somehow the lack of work i did was all my fault and i should work on it instead of leaving. Turns out three years later i still don't work enough because I still hate what I'm doing and now I wake up not wanting to work and ending up not doing anything because I feel guilty for not doing what i have to do. TL;DR: If you don't want to do something, dont feel obliged to keep doing it, specially if it take up most of your time
@sofyaa2943
5 жыл бұрын
can you do a how to survive your teens video?
@divya83
5 жыл бұрын
Needed to hear all of this. Also your top is really cute. I love constellation themed patterns!
@eherbert33
5 жыл бұрын
I’m 18 but am going to uni in a few months and am taking quite a few on board!!
@shutupcharli483
5 жыл бұрын
20s toolkit would be ideal! I only turned 20 last month but can already feel how this is going to be a period full of turmoil - how do you deal with that constant feeling of uncertainty and feeling lost within yourself and the future??!
@angieh2722
5 жыл бұрын
I fucked off from my first university after a year & then applied to transfer to my dream school (which I had previously been rejected from). A week ago I got an acceptance letter from my dream school which I would NEVER HAVE GOTTEN if I hadn’t realized that I was allowed to leave the university I was forced to go to at first.
@RB0110
5 жыл бұрын
These videos are so good and totally what I needed to hear at this point in my existence
@rarahdem
5 жыл бұрын
BIG UP THE OVER 30s :) all the decades are in this together!
@gingercanoe2621
5 жыл бұрын
Okay so I’m only turning 20 in a few month but a thing I recently realized is that just because you lost someone as a friend doesn’t mean you gained them as an enemy. Big lesson to learn, also don’t be fooled by people first impressions, they’re likely to act a certain way they wouldn’t normally
@warriorwolvez
3 жыл бұрын
If you’re like me, you don’t want to do The Thing (tm) because it’s overwhelming so you just don’t do it. (I’m a perfectionist so if I can’t 100% The Thing then I ignore it). When you have these things I have three things to live by: (1) the easiest is - if you can complete The Thing in under 2 minutes, then do it. Make yourself do it. It will make future you v happy (2) if it is a bigger task than 2 minute boi, set a timer and DO IT FOR 2 MINUTES. even if you don’t do the entire Thing, completing 2% of it is a good step to finishing 100% of it later. And now, you only have 98% to do ! This one is a biggie for me, and it’s hard but I’ve never regretted it, on my regretted not doing it. (3) if it is a Thing you HAVE to do - none of this “long term box” stuff (i.e. studying for an exam or adult work with time limit consequences) make yourself do it for 5-10 minutes. Genuinely force yourself to do The Thing because the way your brain works is you don’t like doing Things. You don’t like changing what you’re doing to do The Thing. But once you’re doing it for a good bit, that big barrier goes away. (Not entirely, but it is lifted a lot). It makes continuing WAY easier - almost natural.
@triflepercy
5 жыл бұрын
Perhaps similar to things already mentioned, but 'I don't care what anyone thinks' is a lie- the key is figuring out whose opinion matters. If it's a stranger on the internet, or someone at work or in your friendship circle who you already think has terrible opinions, why care what their opinion is of you?Find the people you respect, who you know care about you and who have enough history with you to be able to place your actions in context, and actively seek their input on big decisions. If all the people whose judgement you trust unanimously think you're making a bad call, at least reconsider.
@madelineanderson96
5 жыл бұрын
Omg I hit your feels, you hit my feels ah!
@hallease
5 жыл бұрын
Aw, I need to reach out to you directly. I want to collab! :D
@leenanorms
5 жыл бұрын
Hallease DONE DEAL PLS CAN WE? leenanorms@gmail.com
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