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@SpiritualSuccess345
6 ай бұрын
Thank you, this hits home hard.
@rafaelvilas4230
5 ай бұрын
thnks a lot
@rafaelvilas4230
5 ай бұрын
ill never forget this :)
@Digitalhunny
4 ай бұрын
Is everyone that feels empathy an empath?
@zyxwut321
4 ай бұрын
Basically, the biggest enemy of the narcissist is someone who can call them on their BS and then WALK AWAY, without looking back.
@adedotunajibade
2 ай бұрын
Touché
@anacristinamoura881
Ай бұрын
Me!😁
@adedotunajibade
Ай бұрын
@@zyxwut321 just be very prepared about getting physically and virtually stalked after the epic discard 😅 It is as emotionally and mentally draining.
@nicolagraham1678
3 күн бұрын
Absolutely correct 💯
@cathyl4622
5 ай бұрын
I often hear" You are not listening to me" I quickly correct and say " I'm listening, I'm just not agreeing with you"
@zaige11
5 ай бұрын
Have you tried active listening instead
@mcm4981
5 ай бұрын
On the flip side, some people disagree with everything that is said... just for the pleasure they get from disagreeing 😂
@Boris-Vasiliev
5 ай бұрын
"I will take your opinion into account when it coincides with mine"
@zaige11
5 ай бұрын
lol amen @@mcm4981
@zaige11
5 ай бұрын
how very self centered of you (: @@Boris-Vasiliev
@CB19087
6 ай бұрын
Have the courage to be disliked and never waiver on your version of events- narcissists kryptonyte
@learningisfun2108
5 ай бұрын
That’s powerful!! “Have the courage to be disliked”. I’d love to put that into practice. Conflict is my kryptonite and I tend to be a people pleaser, empathetic.
@CB19087
5 ай бұрын
@@learningisfun2108 i can't take the credit for that as I read a book with that title years ago. But I have definitely found that having that courage, definitely highlights time wasters and users. I used to empathise with people all the time, but that's exactly what manipulative people want, because they know we'll guilt ourselves into giving it. Not anymore. Empathy as a transaction is a great way to weed them out. I am kind to you, then I wait, I wait until I see that capacity in you. I don't give anything else, until I receive it in return. Once you establish the other person also has empathy, then be free with it. But don't give it away for free, to everyone. Some people are just users, sad as it sounds. You are a good person who deserves good people in your life. Be the gatekeeper you deserve ❤
@tammyd.970
4 ай бұрын
Unfortunately, it gets really old. When you realize you are surrounded by narcissists and everyone dislikes you, it kind of backfires. Nice when you can leave, hell when you can't.
@CB19087
4 ай бұрын
@@tammyd.970 very true, you definitely need some allies in order to survive
@LaVidaLocaHomie
4 ай бұрын
@@tammyd.970 It all boils down to how bad you want your freedom. If you want it bad enough you will find a way.
@verdatajmorus4308
3 ай бұрын
When a narcissist is trying to BS me I say “ You believe that?”
@ufos-cos
2 ай бұрын
A guy at work said some kind of stupid insult to me & everyone laughed. He said you’re too fragile. I said, no, that’s not it. You’re just a jerk. Shocked, he said what???? I said you’re a jerk. I nailed him to the wall 😂😂😂 he immediately floundered & started talking about something else quickly to get everyone focused up & back on his side. Once you understand these people, you can see em coming from a mile away. Shut ‘em down 🙌
@Milestonemonger
5 ай бұрын
The envy the narcissist feels towards your self-respect will lead them to bad mouth you 💯
@kayallen7603
5 ай бұрын
Don't care. hose who know you also will not care what a nasty creep says about you.
@dawne2443
3 ай бұрын
I had this with my ex (and now deceased) partner's teenage son. He told people he didn't like me "because I'm weird and didn't try to hide it". 😆
@adedotunajibade
2 ай бұрын
Interesting
@racebannon96
29 күн бұрын
They will start a Smear Campaign and target your family and close friends.
@c.pop.echo.28
5 ай бұрын
What I know is that the only way to win with a narcissist is to not play. Also, they kind of hate it, if you only speak the truth.
@souxcasa
5 ай бұрын
Being a truth teller makes you a target. If they think you know they will need to get rid of you
@victoryamartin9773
2 ай бұрын
He must know I know, because he is trying to get rid of me using rage attacks, coercive legal threats, blatant boundary violations, smears and character criticisms, rallying my social support with accusations of murderous intentions and lies, and these things are becoming more outrageous each time he spews them. At this point it is all too obvious even to the untrained bystander that, at the very least, this man is seriously delusional and mentally unstable. Which makes him highly dangerous to be around. He is large and could probably do some serious physical damage if he chooses to do so. I no longer engage with him at all, so he went silent for several months. Suddenly he came at me again out of the blue being triggered by his own health issue, causing me to realize his escalation into a dangerous frenzy can happen at any time for any unrelated reason. I wish the sheriffs would take me seriously when I call them asking for his removal, but they don't. Apparently, until he does me visible bodily damage, his outbursts are seen as civil disputes for me to take up with the court on my own and then wait for a case to make it thru the legal system. There's nothing civil about this.
@jpblauvelt
5 ай бұрын
I’m never subtle. I say what’s on my mind with no thought to ramifications. Works like a charm.
@user-pk2lv7ev5z
4 ай бұрын
NEVER back down from a bully. My mother was a covert narc. We fought till she died. I don't miss her.
@user-xg7zq5gq1r
4 ай бұрын
My heart goes out to you. Mine is still alive at 90 and harmless at this point. But there will be no tears shed or discussion of her once she is gone.
@Jophiel50
2 ай бұрын
It appears that the damages remain; that simple comment still held so much pain. If you don’t forgive, it’s going to eat you alive. Like me, you may not see any chance of forgiveness, but it’s there, because you don’t need the other person at all to experience it. I’m sending you so much unconditional love, and hope that you can shed the pieces that might make you continue the cycle… They are very covert in their adherence to our beingness. Unconditional self-love, and forgiveness are how I found my peace… I’m hoping you find yours.
@judiththeis4476
2 ай бұрын
I hope my mother was just a bad example of a mother but she was the narcissist of the worst kind.
@texasbuttercup1972
2 ай бұрын
@@Jophiel50 The original poster of this stream simply ID'd her mother correctly and found her own way to separate from her mother's impact. The daughter has already moved on emotionally and has no further need to dwell. BTW, somethings can never be forgiven - nor do they need to be. It is how one chooses to deal with the violation/s that is important. Be well and best wishes.
@Jophiel50
2 ай бұрын
@@texasbuttercup1972 of course everyone has their choice on how to deal with stuff, but a person who doesn’t forgive, doesn’t hurt the person they’re not forgiving… They only hurt themselves. Likely, the person who did the damages doesn’t even think about it at all.
@jds6964
5 ай бұрын
I am 59 years old and I only now figured out that my mom has always been a narcissist. I wish that I had figured this out years ago, so that my life would have been so much better.
@LaChicaconSuerte-1111
4 ай бұрын
It would only be better if you not only realized this, but limited or ended contact with them. They don´t change.
@jesh9426
4 ай бұрын
It took me 40 years to realize.
@roberttruman8444
Ай бұрын
You don't know that your life would have been better. It could have even been worse in ways you can't possibly know. The one real positive that you have in this life is that you were able to rumble your own narcissistic mum, and by rights you're not meant to find out and since it's all you've known since birth, you also appeal to narcissists and are attracted to them. So the odds of you finding out what narcissism is, AND that your mumma is a narc were 1000/1 against you. That in itself is a big achievement, but it can come at the cost of your sanity if you keep comparing your life to a life in which you were aware right from the start. You will end up shudda-wouldda-couldda-ing your life away. Since discovering my mother and several others were heavily narcissistic, you'd think I'd notice an improvement now that I'm able to spot their behaviour and call them out. But it changes very little. They still pull the same shit and they're consistent as f%%%. They use distraction and confusion to create diversions for your attention, making it still bloody hard to recognise all their manipulative attempts. Unless you remove them from your life then you still are affected by their narc ways. You just get a little bit better at dealing with them each time .
@allieeverett9017
Ай бұрын
I was the same age and I wouldn't change a thing because I FOUND OUT!!! This has changed my life for the better. It is way less populated with people now, but I'm free and able to learn. So thankful.
@japalmer2
Ай бұрын
I believe you found this out at the right time for you. Youre not dead yet, so LIVE FREE.
@JETTSTACHI
5 ай бұрын
Boy! Did I miss those red flags! I had no idea people like this actually exist. Now I'm aware and prepared.
@sandrab2589
4 ай бұрын
Growing up, I was always a bit suspicious of the stories my dad told about his adventures and accomplishments, but I kept my silence. After he died, when relatives supplied information to include in his obituary, it came out that I was right to be suspicious. A lot of the stories he told were outright lies. Always trust your gut. Whenever dealing with someone, narcissist or not, trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right, move on. In some cases, RUN.
@allieeverett9017
Ай бұрын
I've had a couple of employers like this. It's like if they're the boss they feel the need to impress...no matter if it's lies. I just let them ramble because seriously, it's so obvious it's not worth calling them out. I'm more interested in getting back to work, inch by inch, leaving them talking to thin air. Sometimes I just walk off while they're talking. So over these types.
@holboroman
Ай бұрын
I'm wondering how many times this is happening. I had a very similar experience after I spoke at my father's funeral. A different version of events was offered to me by a neighbour who went out of her way to speak to me about it.
@sandrab2589
Ай бұрын
@@holboroman Narcissists can be very charming and skilled at manipulation. I'm sure this is a very common experience. In my dad's case, he inserted just enough truth into his stories to make the lies believable. and, of course, he told them in a convincing manner.
@professorwiggins3290
5 ай бұрын
"Are you calling me a liar?" my mother said. "Yes, mom, you're a liar." She has stopped manipulating me in that manner, because she knows I'll tell the truth, that I'll back it up with evidence, and that if she says "I didn't do that, say that, etc" I'll say "Yes you did" and I'll tell her the time, date, and who was present and tell her again "Stop lying." I don't care what she says about me and to whom. I spent my life hearing her say horrible things behind the backs of friends and family. I assume she slanders me. Go ahead, mom, talk behind my back. Whomever believes you, I'll know they're not someone with whom I want to associate anyway, because I don't trust gullible dupes. You made me wiser and stronger, mom. The Lord used you for good. And if that's the only good I ever get from you, then dayenu.
@texasseen
5 ай бұрын
❤
@jacquelinegiordano432
5 ай бұрын
The secret to happiness and your own peace of mind is to never argue with fools. Not worth the aggravation, not worth your time and not worth your breath.
@Als11able
5 ай бұрын
The bible is the only wisdom in life
@learningisfun2108
5 ай бұрын
@@Als11ableThe bible is an unholy mess.
@JETTSTACHI
4 ай бұрын
@@learningisfun2108 To you.
@Sergedb74
4 ай бұрын
@@learningisfun2108 What do you mean, can you give me an example?
@Als11able
4 ай бұрын
@@learningisfun2108 no. That's the reader before they are born again. First birth is into a fallen world eternity caused by sin in God's beautiful creation. You can't know the truth with a proud heart. Sin is the mess. We are the sinners til we Receive Christ
@jjsmakeupobsession323
5 ай бұрын
I have to work at being less empathetic to others, because I ended up being hurt too often.
@adedotunajibade
2 ай бұрын
To become an 'educated or super empath'
@lorifenner4048
4 ай бұрын
I am a beautician, I have a client that I see at least every other week. The story she tells me about her life and family make it clear to me that she is a malignant narcissist. I thought that I could just listen and nod and maintain my boundaries. But lately, she has been trying to blur my boundaries and get her hooks in me. By giving me extra money by asking me to come in on my day off, by suggesting things that I do at home, etc. I’m not sure how to strengthen my boundaries without incurring her wrath. She has a lot of money, and she uses it against people sometimes in unlawful ways. Frankly, I am afraid of her.
@mountainmama9209
4 ай бұрын
You might consider asking the owner to switch clients, unless it is your business. You need to feel safe in your workplace.
@lorifenner4048
4 ай бұрын
@@mountainmama9209 thanks ☺️ I am am a private contractor, I’ve been trying to think of a way to dismiss her diplomatically.
@judithargitay9860
Ай бұрын
@@lorifenner4048 Tell her you never go to clients' homes, you work only at your workplace. End of.
@tomdixon1213
26 күн бұрын
Don’t accept the extra money or tell her you are going to donate it to a battered women’s shelter.
@chriskramer9311
5 ай бұрын
I have been narcissits' kryptonite my whole life. So many times they've tried and I just stare at them lol
@MistrBlistr
5 ай бұрын
My mother is a narcissist and I learned these skills pretty early in my life just from necessity. As soon as I started to disagree with her and have my own opinions and have my own personality I became a liability and she started to treat me with distain. I’ll never forget the night she hacked my door down with a meat cleaver all because of a disagreement. It’s forever seared into my memory. I’m an only child and when she got sick with cancer I stepped up and brought her back to life over a course of 6 years while I put my own life on hold. I hate to say it but when she was sick she was actually tolerable and sometimes even pleasant to be around. It was only because I was doing something for her though because as she got better her narcissism resurfaced and now I no longer speak to her. And I never will again.
@beetleything1864
5 ай бұрын
Disdain - but yep - had a Narc crash thru my bedroom door when i ignored them for more than 24hrs
@spaideman7850
5 ай бұрын
my narc mum stormed out from the kitchen (with an apron) with a knife waving at us and shouted 'I never said that!'. she was eavesdropping on my conversation with my sister and we were talking nothing about her. obviously she was paranoid for all her smear campaign on me and afraid my sis will tell me
@SierraNovemberKilo
4 ай бұрын
As its said "No good deed ever goes unpunished".
@leighmartin4505
4 ай бұрын
You have been a great daughter to her. Every human could only be so blessed,as to have someone care for us when we are gravely ill. Now release her and the past while you go learn to live with joy again as the child in your heart always wanted. You owe that child more than you ever owed your parent. She deserves to be happy
@wendybond2848
4 ай бұрын
I had a very similar experience, minus the axe.
@dbilly7
4 ай бұрын
My narc MIL has tried to control me for over 20 years, sit here, eat this, don’t this or that. I do the opposite of whatever it is, smile and her when her mouth is moving, and just plain say NO. She hates me every second I’m in the queens presence and I love it.
@CB19087
6 ай бұрын
This is absolutely spot on. You described exactly what I've seen in a coworker. The initial test where I disagreed, then he began excluding me in front of my manager, called him out- he denied it and was apologetic. Then a micro aggression- pushing in front of me, not declaring his presence behind me. Asked him not to do that again- denied it. Stood up for myself- yes you did, you also pushed in front of me. No response. Has been ignoring me and acting like the victim. God only knows what he's been saying behind my back, people acting differently towards me. My friend said he sees it too and has my back. Which is incredibly supportive
@ashleibelfast
6 ай бұрын
Leave its abuse, once you leave its over ❤
@sandraarmitage3725
5 ай бұрын
You described all of my coworkers
@elliotmyers9071
5 ай бұрын
I know this same feeling about a coworker. My boss got sucked into this fabricated narrative. The acts of abandonment mean said coworker does no work, and everyone else notices. No one can pay me any amount of $ to work with this coworker. Down right rude!
@CB19087
5 ай бұрын
@@ashleibelfast I'm not going anywhere. He's just a bully and he now knows that I will not tolerate it. I made a complaint about him and he's being watched by management now. He knows that and I know he values his job. The isolation is no longer a tool, so his modes of bullying are obsolete. Can't covert bully someone when everyone knows that's what you're trying to do... plus if work let it continue, they are responsible for my well-being and the behaviour of their staff, so it's on them now, not me.
@ashleibelfast
5 ай бұрын
@@CB19087 Goodluck to you 🫶 It's very rare to find mgmt who have the balls to tackle gossip or bullying in the workplace, the good workers end up doing the job of 2-3 people then leaving, while the bullies do the bare minimum. They're too busy creating the toxic environment to contribute to the team/company.
@Jophiel50
2 ай бұрын
A really good way to be the truth teller is to get down to your truth. Once you own yourself so hard, every little nuance of who you are, and you don’t live by an identity that you fashioned for others as a turtle shell of sorts… then you literally stop caring about what other people think of you, because you like yourself enough for everyone… There isn’t any bad experience that can penetrate this position.
@kathyhansen2820
5 ай бұрын
What works for me is walking away, not arguing, speaking etc. but simply walking as I need jerks in my life like I need a hole in the head.
@iammichaeldavis
5 ай бұрын
*another
@janelanders8702
5 ай бұрын
Walking away or atleast distancing yourself, seeing the toxic nonsense for what it is, knowing it's not about you & gaining knowledge which gives you the quiet confidence you need to deal with this personality disorder 🙏🕊️
@tammyd.970
4 ай бұрын
It's great when you can. I had a toxic narcissist bully for a student and couldn't leave. She smartly targeted only me, not the other teachers, so everyone believed her at the start. Eventually it broke down, though and I was believed, but they took me off the class. She just kept on her merry way. She caused me such emotional stress. I have so many scars from these people. They will never go away, just fade.
@lchanson1
4 ай бұрын
Love it! Thanks!😊
@ryiningZollln
4 ай бұрын
you must had been walking your whole life. narcs love cowards
@retarteddwarf2182
2 ай бұрын
Three words to check the Narc when they push back in an attempt to counter your situational logic is: "What's your Point?" and just let it land. Their answer will be an indirect confession every time and expose the fact that they seldom have any sort of valid point ever. This will show you how their whole shtick in conversation is to establish and maintain their own superiority and NEVER for understanding or any sort of two-way communication. This is why people who tend to be more genuine experience nothing but irritation around these two-faced shape shifters.
@LaChicaconSuerte-1111
4 ай бұрын
Narcissists are deeply insecure people. This makes them instantly jealous of anyone who seems to have self-worth and if you are the child of a narcissist, your narcissistic parent will likely try to break down that self-worth and destroy your confidence to feel better about themselves. They will choose you out of the rest of your siblings because they may see themselves in you and choose you to project their feelings about themselves onto. You are a constant reminder to them of what they lack.
@LaChicaconSuerte-1111
4 ай бұрын
The same thing happens with some toxic friends, work colleagues etc... some people who have low self-worth don´t think about how they can improve their confidence, and instead spend all their time trying to bring others down. Those people should be avoided completely and removed from your life at the earliest opportunity. Never share any kind of personal information with such people, as even the most mundane info will be used against you. They are that desperate and that weak.
@retarteddwarf2182
2 ай бұрын
@@LaChicaconSuerte-1111 Very well said. Sounds like your narc repellent can is full. So is mine. Lol...
@LaChicaconSuerte-1111
2 ай бұрын
@@retarteddwarf2182 thank you. It´s full, but I still tend to feel sorry for my mother because she is old, lonely, whatever. But I try to just do what I can to help her, but not engage or have conversation which will inevitably lead to her turning it into an opportunity to argue and fight about nothing. She clearly gets a buzz from it and needs to drain energy from me, which is sick. That energy is mine, not hers. Protect your energy at all cost. It´s your lifeforce that is being drained.
@retarteddwarf2182
2 ай бұрын
@@LaChicaconSuerte-1111 It blew my mind when I realized how powerful the adult superpower of disengagement, detachment and just hanging up the phone and getting on with my day really is. Stop carrying their cross for the win.
@LaChicaconSuerte-1111
2 ай бұрын
@@retarteddwarf2182 You´re so right. It´s hard if you have to meet them in person though. Their skills at getting you to engage are very highly developed and they get energy and excitement from just being able to get you to respond and then to react to something they have said. It´s pretty pathetic, but they thrive on it and especially if they can see you´ve had to use some of your precious energy in responding to them. Makes them feel important for a second and they feel good about being able to force you to give them attention, which is what they crave.
@karenabrams8986
2 ай бұрын
I remember hours of fighting with my mother over what was real. I joined the Navy to get away, but I found more narcs. Now I refuse to sit in anyone’s delusions with them anymore. If I am being given feedback that I’m an asshole from someone frustrated with me, I feel glad for my changes. 😊
@tunatony
Ай бұрын
"Axis" is having a backbone, just reach behind yourself and grab onto it, know you have one, that it's definitely there...and be proud you have one😂🎉
@EpicHeroSandwich
5 ай бұрын
Man I never really picked apart "I'm not sure I agree" Easily one of the most powerful things you can say. You're not saying you disagree, you're saying you're still processing what was said and forming an opinion.
@LordMondegrene
5 ай бұрын
"Who cares what you think? Any sane, intelligent people?" They won't be able to name any.
@BrianSmithology
5 ай бұрын
I was thinking... companies can act like this too!
@meadowdevor
5 ай бұрын
Oh that’s so true! Oooo I’m going to screenshot this and see if I can make a video. 💪😎
@amarbyrd2520
4 ай бұрын
@@meadowdevor In a country and culture that fully enables narcissists & NBehavior - I'm not going to say you may find it easier than you think, but I will say I fully anticipate you'll have plenty of material
@javanjunkindahouse6625
4 ай бұрын
I struggle so much with this! I work for an office on Vancouver island and it’s supposed to be regarding family and children first - ministry for children and youth and family development, it’s in the name, yet over and over the toxic environment in the entire office and all the workers is a result from 2 highly narcissistic personality disordered team leaders there. Staff either move/leave the environment or conform. As a foster parent whose only concern is the children, trying to be an advocate for their needs is met with everything said in this video. I’m seen as a threat and constantly am attacked one way or another. Currently I’m trying to adopt a 3yr old who has been in 4 different home by age 1.5yrs. I made a commitment that he would not have to move again - my biggest concern being ability to attach and abandonment damage/hurt with any further moves. So I made it clear to my resource worker my level of commitment. As she does not like confrontation she will just go with whoever is most intimidating, so she later acted like our convo never took place. Meanwhile they have put this poor young one up on a website for adoption. I found an advocate for him to state his needs for stability and my commitment (that I’m wanting permanency and adoption) to combat the team leaders desire to now not look bad and sees her control challenges she is doing everything to try to find fault with my fostering, disparaging my name (I have an excellent 23yr reputation) and also withhold payment, bring me into the office to tell me no matter what it’s happening and I can either be part of it and go along with her plan or she will also ruin my chance at the adoption already set in motion with my 7yr old who has been with me since he was 8weeks old. I have helped and supported reunification with many families and have been fortunate to be part of the children’s lives by being ‘aunty’ to many as I worked hard with families and connection. The boys I am talking about are a continuing care order so they are a ward of the ministry and won’t be living with family. Thus my push for permanency for them (and me! Love them so much) Anyway. The narcs seem to be so prominent in an industry that is supposed to be compassionate / I will never understand why they are there. Hurting so many families and children for their own ego. It’s disgusting.
@NFTeve
4 ай бұрын
and the DNC adn the WEF
@davidpaxton6402
4 ай бұрын
Remember its people that run companies. According to past studies around 30-40% of company CEOs, government (department too) leaders, and religious leaders tend to be narcissistic... maybe socio and pyscho too. I found while working for several Australian public companies treat their retail team members terribly.
@rambultruesdell3412
6 ай бұрын
When a narcissist is recognized the two options become quite clear: take it or leave it, enjoy it the ride.
@secretsquirel5306
6 ай бұрын
Yes guilty as charged - I was a truth teller and she absolutely hated it. Oh dear they are such twisted individuals. A phrase I used to do when she was attempting to re-write history was - "well that's not how I remember it so we'll have to agree to disagree" The end, period
@kennethlapointesongwriter3330
6 ай бұрын
So true. I think I boiled a narc down to one word...COERCIVE. Whether covert, overt, a little, a lot, big, small actions, doesn't matter. They do everything through coercing others. I'm a sigma empath so I've had my share (my fill actually) of narcs.
@meadowdevor
6 ай бұрын
Coercive... yes. 💯 I don't know the term 'sigma empath' ... what does that mean?
@x2x538
6 ай бұрын
I wondered that as well.
@Vikingnartists
6 ай бұрын
hear hear. I’m sigma empath too, had my fair share of narcs over here too, we attract them with our confidence, positive spirit and authenticity above all since they are insecure, miserable and fake. I ditched them all three I had in my life escaping a lot of bullets😅
@kennethlapointesongwriter3330
6 ай бұрын
@@meadowdevor, depends who you ask but feels others emotions deeply, sociable yet introverted (needs time for self to rejuvenate), love of nature, big on protecting oneself using boundaries, educated/informed about being an empath, 'sort of a lone wolf'...you could always google it, and there's tons of vids about sigma empath
@meadowdevor
6 ай бұрын
Awesome thank you! @kennethlapointesongwriter3330
@jeremiahhuckleberry402
4 ай бұрын
What Meadow is describing here is the importance of activating one's emotional intelligence. This above all else, to thine own self be true.
@sburns2421
4 ай бұрын
I was misled into changing jobs to work for a highly narcissistic owner/CEO. What I witnessed in my 30 months of frustration was anyone that bucked the system was quickly bounced out of the company. This was a company of ~100 people in a competitive industry, and I was #10 of senior managers or executives to leave in disgust in six years since he had bought the company. #11, 12 were fired soon after I resigned. There were many times I felt tested to bend to his manipulations designed to make me abandon my principles, but I never lied to him and tried to avoid conflict while trying to protect my employees. He would pit one manager against the other because he loved drama. Eventually when you are the lone dissenting voice among a crowd of dishonest yes-men peers it is time to leave. In hindsight this experience was good for me, but it didn't feel like it at the time or in the months after.
@Milestonemonger
5 ай бұрын
- Say: "I'm not sure that I agree". - Know who you are and what works for you. "That doesn't work for me". The envy they feel for your sense of self will lead them to bad mouth you. - Be an assertive empath. Be difficult to manipulate. Stay grounded and be ok with some uncomfortablness. "I understand what you're going through, here are my thoughts..."
@lesterdiamond6190
6 ай бұрын
Just the thought of dealing with my siblings exhausts me. So glad I canned them 25 years ago.
@goldbrick2563
6 ай бұрын
Do you ever feel guilty about it? I feel like the bad guy for not wanting anything to do with them. I have 2 and for the last 5 years have been distancing myself from them after 3 decades of being the good little sister
@drai6507
6 ай бұрын
I feel the same way it is the worst feeling in the world I can’t stand being around them 5 sisters they make everything feel like a giant competition it’s horrible
@annchenweidemann5694
5 ай бұрын
Me too
@annchenweidemann5694
5 ай бұрын
The envy that the narc has towards you is based on their deep resentment of you.
@sandracrandall4561
4 ай бұрын
@@goldbrick2563God didn't create you for His purpose only to have others using their free will to damage it destroy you. U B U. No guilt. You did nothing wrong to save yourself👍🙏💕
@mikemaresca4999
5 ай бұрын
Have one heated argument with them, stop tip toeing around them. Problem solved, problem staying solved.
@heatherr4321
Ай бұрын
Arguing is a form of supply, and doesn’t work. It just proves that they’re able to manipulate you into losing your cool, and they can then paint you as a bully. The best thing to do is stay calm and disengage entirely.
@johnsuggs7828
5 ай бұрын
When you adapt, give in and/or move your center for someone, it starts down a slippery slope of it becoming the norm. You don't realize it, but being someone else to please someone will eventually end up with you being exactly like the narcissist. Not knowing who you are or not being able to identify you in your own life.
@scotttully8572
5 ай бұрын
Thanks. My new key word is respect. I don't try to control others, but i do exercise my right to decide HOW I will (or won't) permit myself to be treated.
@TheREALLibertyOrDeath
5 ай бұрын
This is key and sums up how to deal with narcissistic abuse
@archiehendricks6093
6 ай бұрын
Being assertive they like to talk fact without substantiating what they are saying and get abusive when irritated
@chrisantoniou4366
5 ай бұрын
They get abusive when they are called out for their attention seeking bullshit.
@gwendolynwehage6336
6 ай бұрын
This is all true, thank you for sharing this!!! I have lived with narcissists all my life off and on in family members. I was even told they did not respect me but they respected my husband. My husband never calls out anything and I have a few occasions, so I have been the target. Even as a small child, I felt so bad that I must have been a bad person because of how mean my family was to me. Then after I grew up, got married, and had children these people were still treating me like this being an example to my children on how to treat me. To this day my own children and their spouses hate me because I did not follow them into their false personas. I have been thinking independently all my life, even as a small child. The narcissists saw this as "rebellion" and labeled me this way to everyone. I was not the one in rebellion, they were. The narcissists are so insecure themselves that they hated that I was a confident person and that I self-reflected to improve, something they never did. I am in my 70s now, they are older and still hate that I love life and do what I believe in.
@meadowdevor
6 ай бұрын
Thank for sharing your experience and for being part of our community. ❤️ I'm sorry to hear that you've gone through this.
@chrisantoniou4366
5 ай бұрын
"I was a confident person and that I self-reflected to improve, something they never did." - Self-reflection and improvement is something Narcissists NEVER do!
@gwendolynwehage6336
5 ай бұрын
@@chrisantoniou4366 I agree, the narcissists in my family are as immature today in their 70's as they were in their teen age years.
@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753
5 ай бұрын
Listening to 12 minutes of these understandings and suggestions is exhausting! Seems like there wouldn't be enough time in each day to deal with a narcissist and still get to eat and take a shower, much less anything else..
@annaibrahim2052
5 ай бұрын
it IS a full time job. And a thankless one, at that.
@wendybond2848
4 ай бұрын
Living with a narcissist was indeed, exhausting.
@sandracrandall4561
4 ай бұрын
It's EXHAUSTING putting up with these people aka demons. Watch yr back, stay strong in every sentence & double think why they said what they said .....tiring. Very tiring to say the least.
@jekalambert9412
5 ай бұрын
Good video. Bottom line: Know yourself and don't allow others to manipulate you. Once I was able to set boundaries, I no longer had issues with narcs.
@ilexevergreen5405
5 ай бұрын
Could you please list your boundaries? For some of us to learn 👍
@Char-Williams
6 ай бұрын
I've learned No Response is the best. 😂 You're right on, they want you to believe every lie, put them first, worship them, never question them. But I know people have to deal with them, especially in the work space. So, you can't do the No Response. All the time.
@truffaut650truffaut6
5 ай бұрын
This method set me free😂
@sharondoan1447
5 ай бұрын
I understand that the “ no response” tactic can be effective in some situations. But, be careful to not loose yourself by continually using it. You have beliefs, understandings, opinions, a personality, interests, experiences, accomplishments, expectations, and requirements that deserve to be expressed. My husband accuses me of “ blowing things out of proportion “, “ there you go with the whining “. He makes comments,” don’t say another word”, “ oh stop complaining” and more. All these are intended to escalate the situation to a higher level because this verbage occurs when he has been condescending, rude, negligent, or demeaning to me. He offers these words as a challenge. Game on! I don’t want to appease him or find a way to avoid confrontation. He is more than welcome to leave after 45 years of zero improvement.I really don’t care.
@BlueSkyCountry
5 ай бұрын
I think another group of people that narcs cannot tolerate are cynics/misanthropes. We don't want interactions with anybody. We just want to pick up our 18pk of beer, go back home, drink, smoke, and watch 90s giant robot battle movies all day on our day off from the automotive repair shop or construction site. LOL.
@wintermatherne2524
2 ай бұрын
Yeah. They get zero supply from that🤣😂.
@jasonuren3479
5 ай бұрын
Just agree was a survival strategy. Spot on.
@kyrareneeLOA
5 ай бұрын
Love the clarity. This is also true for extreme borderline personality disorder person. That guilt and manipulation.
@ShirleyPearl-n9z
4 ай бұрын
With respect not all good and bad in all walks of life .I have 2 narcs in my family .I have more insight and compassion there'd never have or course I'm not perfect .
@billycosta3203
2 ай бұрын
Excellent video! It is so powerful when you say " this happend to me".... Reminds me the words of the Nobel Prize winner Niels Bohr " An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field" Thank you!!!
@raccoondon488
5 ай бұрын
In this video she is giving good advise BUT narcissists are basically mean people , so why should I be nice to them ???? Just say “NO” or WALK AWAY. Simple !
@learningisfun2108
5 ай бұрын
Narcissists come in lots of varieties and depths of narcissism. Also, you can’t always isolate them totally from your life. They may be a boss or coworker, a mother, the brother of your spouse, a child. We will always potentially be interacting with them so it’s good to have tools to identify them and deal with them. Having said all that, you’re not wrong: walking away as much as possible is powerful.
@LucitaBrown
5 ай бұрын
My 92 year old alcoholic mother is a narcissist. I’m so tired of it all.
@Ret2090
5 ай бұрын
They always live a long, long time.
@LucitaBrown
5 ай бұрын
@@Ret2090 Yep. Unbelievable.
@amarbyrd2520
4 ай бұрын
It's exhausting. I'm so sorry for what you're going through and hope you can find allies to support you and help you escape, or at least to limit contact.
@wintermatherne2524
2 ай бұрын
Yes! Why?
@blueskies773
2 ай бұрын
Truth telling got me in trouble at work with narcissistic supervisors. I cannot accommodate and will not accommodate evil.
@rfastkats924
5 ай бұрын
the narcissist in my life always plays the victim and makes me the scapegoat
@ThriftMaven
4 ай бұрын
Same here. It's maddening. But now I just let him do it and others will catch on eventually. Particularly in court. I'm certain he'll be in prison before long and I'll continue about my life while he blames me for his rotten actions from his prison cell lol
@leestodel2543
5 ай бұрын
Your life sounds like mine. Been on a healing journey for 3 years and finally breaking free from narcissistic relationships. It’s been both terrifying and liberating at 55!!!! Looking forward to what the future holds without these dark energies in my life. Choosing to be around the light and the authentic in my future.This is the first time I’ve listened to u on Instagram. Bless u and the care u give to enlighten others.🦋🦋🦋❤️❤️❤️
@meadowdevor
5 ай бұрын
Thank you. 🙏 ☺️
@hedynoble7712
5 ай бұрын
Walk a Camino. It helped me get myself back>
@leestodel2543
5 ай бұрын
Was thinking about a Camino as an idea….⭐️⭐️⭐️
@hugmc
Ай бұрын
I always thought being the truth teller made me the target all my life, so too speak that’s right but the real truth is we are just good honest human beings ❤🇮🇪God bless all narcissistic survivors all around the world 🌎
@NFTeve
4 ай бұрын
I had a saying for a while "don't help them, help me" After getting a suplus, I can help others again
@aseasonalname1421
6 ай бұрын
Great video! This sounds like my whole 17 year marriage with my ex. When I finally realized and was aware of narcissistic behavior I stood up for myself, my beliefs and he told me I changed and he wasn’t going along with it. Took awhile to get him out and I’m Still going through the contested divorce. This video was refreshing to hear. Thanks!
@meadowdevor
6 ай бұрын
I'm so sorry to hear that you've gone through this (and that you're still going through this)... but so happy to hear that you stood up for yourself and are fighting for your freedom and protection. Stay strong!
@dagobertopinto
4 ай бұрын
In my condominium, we are dealing with a powerful narcissist who is also corrupt and abusive. Our challenge is huge, thank you for sharing, cheers from Brazil.
@jowiens32
5 ай бұрын
I’m just over two years of harassment from a vicious narcissist. I have learned so much as I heal, and as horrific as this has been, I’m grateful for the lessons that will protect me for my future. I’m a very empathetic person, my therapist says hsp, recovering people pleaser, with past trauma that damaged my sense of self and worth, a few of anger, who doesn’t enforce my boundaries or even respect my own….formally. I was raised in an era that women were seen not heard, always be polite and kind, and wasn’t allowed to ask why or questions in general. My life experience set me up to be very vulnerable and easy to manipulate. Everything you’re saying rings so very true. thank you!
@7632ant
Ай бұрын
My mother always accuses me of 'arguing' when I challenge her about the past. I tell her I am not arguing, l am clarifying what happened which is an area she does NOT want to discuss. All she ever wanted was for me to give support in her struggles with her marriage. The impact on me, was, irrelevant....
@jadeblues357
4 ай бұрын
You forgot one Group of people that are vulnerable narcissist, disabled! I completely disconnected from my family I use that term loosely. I quickly realize what a word problem is. It was a lot harder to get away from you to be born disabled. I think that’s an important point.
@Private-GtngxNMBKvYzXyPq
5 ай бұрын
Clear, actionable advice. Spot on. Thank you for sharing!
@OptimisticMaya
4 ай бұрын
This is HANDS-DOWN the BEST video of practical tips anywhere online on how to deal with a narc. I can’t change the past but I can protect myself from these people in the future and this video will help me to build back my self-confidence and delft trust in dealing with people. Thank you 🙏!!!!
@reneelibby4885
4 ай бұрын
I really need to be less agreeable. I do it to be polite. I have to stop. I'm a magnet.
@fight2flyphoto
5 ай бұрын
Made the difficult decision to go NC with the NPD in our life in early January. We have a family, and we don't need to subject ourselves, much less our child to the abuse. She's sent several baiting messages, none of which involve apologizing, accountability. Latest attempt was their lawyer reaching out to us. "as a friend." 4 months later it's amazing how much more time we have to focus on our family, and not appeasing the needs of a leech.
@janberger4057
6 ай бұрын
This is one of the best videos on how to repell narcissists. It is also a good explanation as to why I have attracted numerous narcissists over my lifetime. Thank you!
@meadowdevor
6 ай бұрын
Thank you for watching. I'm glad to hear that it helped you figure out why you were attracting them... that's what I was hoping for. Empowerment!!
@arcadealchemist
5 ай бұрын
being the truth teller period dos not earn you friends but using the phrase I think not. helps
@noverguy
5 ай бұрын
The empathic ones are natural cheerleaders of others.. We who are like empathetic know this about ourselves. When we are connected to a narc, we cheer them on, and they curse us in return. Its as if the cheerleaders at a football game are jumping up and down with their pom poms cheering on their team and meanwhile the team out on the field are cursing the cheerleaders in return hollering back at the cheerleaders about how lousy they are with their pom poms. This is the life of us empathetic ones with the narcs. Why is it that two empathetic people rarely find each other? Hasn't happened here yet.
@mariep4018
Ай бұрын
It sounds like no matter which way you choose to be you’re still the victim they still control. There’s no way out unless they go to jail.
@creolelady182
21 күн бұрын
Narcissist never approach me, they tried but I have set them straight right then and there, this is why I dont have that many acquaintances
@martinwalker9386
3 ай бұрын
I have been punished for telling the truth in the military. I survived and was able to retire, the other man was not able to retire and as far as I know there was no link between our conflict and his failure to retire. I have corrected military instructors, in class, by knowing safety manuals. I don’t believe the instructor was happy with me, however he knew he could go to prison if there was an accident because of the wrong lesson he had taught. At break he had me show him the safety rule in a 3 inch thick binder. It took me about 30 seconds to find the page.
@davidwho7847
6 ай бұрын
Great video! Thank you! You just gave the 3 big reasons why my father and I never got along. After I grew up, I not only, refused to listen to his BS. I challenged it!
@marygrant8715
5 ай бұрын
This is the best presented and packaged video on responding to narcissism. We can point our fingers back at them all we like but ultimately, we are responsible for our own behaviours. I wish I had had this kind of advice years ago. But I'm getting there.
@aniqabano1582
Ай бұрын
"Are you calling me a liar? ".... universal statement when logic ends..
@darinsmith2458
Ай бұрын
Gossip has been an issue for me.. It started with my family and that carries over to wherever I have been.. Generally people don't say bad stuff about me to my face but they go to others and say it.. When I find out who is doing it then I really detach from them.. There is a saying.. Start talking about the weather and if they earned trust then go deeper and if not don't say anything else..
@Mattheus217
5 ай бұрын
Thanks! This video and some of your others are quite profound and helping to enhance my understanding to see how other people can take advantage of our empathetic traits. God bless you and have a great week.
@meadowdevor
4 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@SheriTynes
3 ай бұрын
OMG. YOU HAVE VERBALIZED MY LIFE
@leojoseph6385
6 күн бұрын
1.Truth Teller…Candor…Being Candid and not Sugar coating things to keep favor. 2.The Steadfast Self…Having the Courage and Confidence to be true to yourself, maintain boundaries and not cave to their increasing whims. 3.The Assertive Empath…Showing understanding but firmly expressing your position.
@g.3735
Ай бұрын
Omg. Looking to "help others" CONSTANTLY...never attending to my own needs and wants
@kayallen7603
5 ай бұрын
I am more than willing to ditch annoyances. One can always walk away. Caring about others is something I have to work at. I tend to ignore others and not care about how they feel or what they think. My being nice - only comes after being earned.
@AnthropoidOne
3 ай бұрын
Must be why so few seem to like me. I have a tendency to point out inconsistencies, misinformation or simply say “I don’t know about all that” when someone is making statements.🤣🤣🤣🇺🇸
@sunyunduan
4 ай бұрын
My favorite words to narcissist: "honestly, i don't give a damn." That's put them at their place each time.
@lorainetarling9377
2 ай бұрын
Exact line I used with my ex, resulted in boiling coffee being thrown over me.
@gunner9010
6 ай бұрын
Very insightful and eloquently put. Thank you.
@meadowdevor
6 ай бұрын
Thank you. ❤️
@tinyvr7036
6 ай бұрын
Social skills are often a point of contention with these difficult people. They do have them but study others to hone up on how to be more likeable or authentic like you. Sometimes it feels like they ate trying to erase you esp if you have to work with them. Ever notice how they are often using your exact words to others to try to look good or win points? 😢 It is annoying but the bigger picture is a sick type of rivalry at your expense just for interacting with these goons. If you have ever worked with emotionally damaged children, you know one correct way of dealing with them is to always direct their inappropriateness to their behavior, not just their character. . For example, When calling others bad names..." I see you are getting upset. Let' s take a break. ( Or. I need a break ) to figure this out. Dont play into their moment. Question them. "Do you think pestering others is going to get you what you want? Or can you use words instead? " Yup. Reflecting is powerful. Yet, some see it as truth and hate it. That's the problem. They want to personalize and provoke everything. Don't let them. Be confident. ❤🙏
@Mauitaoist
3 ай бұрын
I actually enjoy being able to express myself in an assertive way and then I find the people that you didn't know were narcissistic kind of give themselves away to you and you can see it because they don't like your assertiveness which makes me happy because now I know I identified a narcissist before they've had a chance to try to sink their teeth into me
@thevikingbeard89
5 ай бұрын
I tried to get closure and my stuff back. I wanted harmony. I get it, she used me, she doesn't want me now, i just wanted closure and my stuff to maybe feel better. She flipped it all on me and said im capitalizing on her guilt and not respecting her and it's about me. I traded in any hopes of anything, it's dead. Like wtf? I got stonewalled/silent treatment for months. I felt sick constantly. Really sad because i really cared about her and my closure is she didnt care about me at all and I was used for her needs. Even though she said she fell in love with me yet would then freak out. Abandoned me when i needed help. I've never felt so weak and sick from someone in a relationship. It was she cared but doesn't like who she was around me. Weird. You liked me during the relationship and the comforts I brought. When I asked for some needs it was too much :/
@NFTeve
4 ай бұрын
they always want to suck you into bad feelings and drama. Ignore. Closure the door! :)
@jesh9426
4 ай бұрын
Probably best, most helpful and most succinct video I’ve ever seen on narcissism. Thank you.
@allieeverett9017
Ай бұрын
I have attracted so many narcs in my life I'm no longer interested in socializing. In work situations I go gray rock. That usually bores them enough to get them to leave me alone. It's too exhausting to try to have a reasonable conversation or relationship with an unreasonable person. Sad but true. And life is so much calmer now 😁
@wishIwuzskiing
Ай бұрын
Such a great point that if we are nervous or anxious about disagreement on almost anything, and when you do there is strong push back, as opposed to a calm, rational discussion to understand your viewpoint, then there is something wrong. Think about it. Relationships and life have plenty of ups and downs and if we feel like we can never offer an honest opinion differing from theirs without fear of swift and harsh backlash, we have put ourselves in a terrible position.
@Toccataceotto
5 ай бұрын
People don't talk enough about the massive volume of pornography running free on the internet, destroying male mind : there is a huge narcissist factory here.
@imbalancedstatus8824
2 ай бұрын
Yep, I was ostracized in the group. I refused to explain , defend and or justify myself.
@shelleyragusa9598
2 ай бұрын
Thank you for your transparency! You are so brave! I will always grieve what I never had with my dad! I went 10 years no contact - not really because I wanted to but for my own mental health…then I tried again and he attacked me verbally because I was a single mom of three and my kids weee on free school lunches and thought that was bad news so we went another 10 years! I always loved him but couldn’t make him happy or see my value! At the end of his life he reached out and SAID he was sorry for being a bad dad many times before his death but he didn’t leave any possessions to his three kids not even a picture. I didn’t expect anything but I had hoped his words meant something but they didn’t.
@relevantinformation6655
4 ай бұрын
I found is often easy to control a narcissistic as they are so predictable. Just make them think your idea - was their idea 💡 when you want to do something.
@dawne2443
3 ай бұрын
Damn. You described me to a tee. My empathy still keeps me from calling out narcissistic *b#llsh&te. I am working on finding a way to politely disagree, but it isn't easy.
@toriarose
5 ай бұрын
I'm thinking I often wouldn't be able to say "I'm not sure I agree with you." For example. Me: (said in a nice way) Your low-life predator narcissist family member is stalking/harassing me. Narcissist enabler: "I don't think that's happening. I have no evidence of it." Me(?): "I'm not sure I agree with you." LOL. Um no, that's way too mild in this instance. But it's amazing listening to narc gurus, and hearing so many things that this narc pair have said to me. Even though I've learned a lot from the gurus on youtube, I still find myself doubting myself per these narc/vampire/zombie people (without a brain or a heart). So many "flashbacks." Like, the soon-to-be stalker smiling back at me in response to my being upset/crying. I remember being absolutely stunned by that (like he was enjoying my pain).
@gbrown9942
5 ай бұрын
That sounds vile. And I agree - there are times when Narcs run on and don't check in with other people re their views, so it can be handy to have a standby remark for those times when you actually disagree with them. But most of the time it doesn't work, and as per your own anecdote, Narcs actually use those phrases ("I don't think that's happening" etc) themselves much more, because it undermines without requiring any substance from them.
@htmc2022
4 ай бұрын
Yes - those narcissists do smile at their victims pain. It’s called schadenfreude and it’s the fodder to their evil grist mill. My MIL and mother both loved to Grinch grin at my sadness when I had received bad news. I can’t believe I spent decades caring for both - til age 101 1/2 and age 90, respectively. Wasted my life.
@user-ss8fc2yz2q
2 ай бұрын
My boyfriend would say, "Why would I lie about that.
@Kenzofeis
3 ай бұрын
The best armor is to care about their life and feelies as much as they care about yours
@stevenmaritz759
3 ай бұрын
You make such an excellent point at 5 min. I wish I had known this 20 years ago.
@ipsitamazumdar4849
5 ай бұрын
I just say "I remember things differently" & tell the facts as they are, vis-a-vis my narc mom who's always the main character in everyone's story. When she used the Am-I-a-liar line I gave proofs of her 'alternative reality'. She stopped pulling that crap pretty quickly with me. Now that she's old she constantly uses her failing memory as an excuse to bend facts in her favour. Ugh.
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