When a guy says he's not looking for a relationship run 🏃 and don't look back lol because they are 💯 telling you the truth regardless how strong the connection just walk away and save yourself time.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
I think there's a lot to be said for that clarity.
@astgoddess
4 жыл бұрын
When you aren't looking for one either but think you could pass some time together, yet he still disappears after one meet up that he initiates...and you also have a history years ago of a casual thing. I think it's just disrespectful to vanish on someone. Be truthful and give someone an answer on where they stand.
@maerose11
4 жыл бұрын
Ya, I met one guy who said that he was not ready for any kind of relationships, but he texted me 30-40 times a day, and he treated me like his girlfriend, then I told him for giving me some space and not to contact me anymore.
@lisaariottiart
3 жыл бұрын
Had to learn this the hard way😫😢
@amandaharden1336
3 жыл бұрын
@@maerose11 Io
@mellyciputra
3 жыл бұрын
1. Keep the 80% attention to yourself and 20% to the other person 2. Drop the fantasy (see it is for what it is) 3. Using vulnerability as a filter 4. Frustration object relation (there’s a frustration quality in your life, there’s a longing and desire to want something and not getting it) 5. Watch out for emotionally available unavailable guy
@thejackbutler
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the summary! 🙏
@Ytdeletesallmycomments
Жыл бұрын
Do all this as a secure one but truth is what is left over is emotional damaged carbage. 😂😂 And it is nothing all these rules. When i was young this was non sense. Man were real. Now and this makes them nothing more than fxckboys. Nah. Better stay alone. 100 % pure. I am almost 50. Something went terrible wrong with men...
@claddaghclare22
5 жыл бұрын
Let go of outcome/intention/fantasy from beginning and see the reality. Have strong boundaries and self esteem.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Yay to those things! Thanks for writing
@sunitafisher4758
5 жыл бұрын
Heavenly Healing 🌸 thank you for this 👍🏼
@fullname7054
5 жыл бұрын
How? Are there some clear do-able steps that achieve this?
@sunitafisher4758
5 жыл бұрын
full name 🌸 first step is setting your boundaries and never breaking it No matter how much you like the person Love yourself first, respect yourself, be assertive when required, this will build your confidence Basically build yourself up, self esteem Try to notice the other person’s actions, how they treat you, how do they make you feel? This will remove any fantasies from your head space Don’t try to manipulate any outcome by forcing anything What I mean by manipulate, is lacking patience for things to unfold and saying or doing something that causes a reaction from the other party Just follow the guidance of the coach, you can follow a number of coaches. It’s all free 👍🏼
@adrianna8993
5 жыл бұрын
Pure genius ......we often idolize relationships and ignore red flags.....love yourself enough to walk away, apply all that love towards you and your well being. Put yourself 1st ❤️
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Adriana Levinne Aww Thanks! Yes idolizing and overlooking your intuition are easy to do and expensive 😅
@cr625
5 жыл бұрын
I agree but I also believe God (in Jesus Christ) comes first not ourselves. That's been a big mistake for alot of us. We don't stop to pray & ask if a certain person is the right person for us. Listen for the answer and you'll get it!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
C R Sure a lot of people can relate to that. Whether you’re Christian or not, asking what does god/life want for me can be so potent
@cr625
5 жыл бұрын
@@thejackbutler Thank you! Hey, your kinda cute!: D
@mamamagere
5 жыл бұрын
Single women live longer than married women. Happily married men live longer than single men. Please don’t be quick to leap in ladies😀
@mandyg5747
5 жыл бұрын
Probably because married men are looked after by their wives and waited on hand and foot!
@JesusSaves77799
5 жыл бұрын
La La well said hahaha! Let’s take our times and not share our hearts or souls with the wrong people who will only bring us down! 🙏
@patriciaearley4177
5 жыл бұрын
@@mandyg5747 lol😆👍
@angel44starseed
4 жыл бұрын
I’m not so sure living longer is a goal either 🤷♀️ tough go here !!
@tinyah6208
4 жыл бұрын
Not true. Im a happily married woman. My man treats me like a queen that i couldn't be happier. Being in the dating world nowadays is an disaster as what ive heard from my single friends
@junegrace508
5 жыл бұрын
I was skeptical when I clicked on here... BUT It’s eerily spooky how each point is so precisely what has saved me from marrying the wrong guy in 3 separate instances. Single folks get labeled as being non experienced at relationships but we don’t get credit from allllll the things some of us have avoided by staying true/in tune with SELF
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Hey June! Thanks for clicking and being with your skepticism :) Yes, in many ways, (single) folks who have had multiple relationship experiences have had the most experience. I certainly feel all my past relationships taught me so much sometimes in really hard ways.
@junegrace508
5 жыл бұрын
Jack Butler So why do people say don’t take relationship advice from someone who isn’t even in a relationship or doesn’t have a successful marriage? Yet most people in long-term relationships and marriages have just gotten accustomed to dysfunction? How come we do not get credit for how much we have avoided how many divorces we have dodged and how intentional being single and healthy takes?
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
@@junegrace508 That's probably a pretty complex question. I would at least say culture at large has a lot more space for singleness than it used to. Lots of dating coaches are single. I think people who are LT partnered / married probably want to take advice from people who have been there. All that to say that I think there are different types of relationship experience that give rise to different types of education. I had people tell me I wasn't qualified to give relationship advice back when I hadn't settled down. Each to their own!
@junegrace508
5 жыл бұрын
Jack Butler 🙏🏽
@gracesubliminals
5 жыл бұрын
1- put 80% attention to yourself (connect with your own intuition) 2- slow down the relationship 3- use vulnerability as a filter 4- frustration to get what you need from him
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Alaa Omer Thanks for the summary 👍
@gratitude5740
5 жыл бұрын
Jack Butler My guy frustrates me with not responding to my requests of daily contact calls. He is a warm guy so it is not clear why he behaves this way where before he was asking me when I am going to be available to speak to him . He Spends time with others at the expense of our relationships. His work is his priority. I’ve invested so much emotions into this relationship.
@gracesubliminals
5 жыл бұрын
Gratitude I guess you should ask him also when he’s available to speak Another thing is to find something to give your attention to, instead of focusing on him .. give him a space to miss you
@cjennings6179
5 жыл бұрын
Space to MISS ONE. GIVE ONE TIME TO GROW IN ANGER. ANGRY FEELINGS grow out of control. Hate for those you are ATTRACTED TO. CAUSE of the games. Playing games when games are NOT USEFUL. NOT HEALTHFUL. NOT MAKING A RELATIONSHIP BETTER. DISLIKE & devaluing ridiculing thoughts grow. NOT HEALTHY. NOT HEALTHFUL. NOT GETTING BETTER. BROKEN HEART develops😖😧😰😫😨😱😦😟
@HenriettaP
5 жыл бұрын
2 was Drop the fantasy. I think this is a better summary of his point, as slowing down the relationship will happen naturally as a result of 1. Fantasies can be very dangerous in the early stages of a relationship and being told that one is a big eye opener. I wish someone had told me it years ago as I had a big tendency in that direction. Fantasies are a way of “filling in the gaps” between times when you see him, because you’re feeling so needy for him to fill a hole in your life. They seem harmless, but they’re not, as they generate too many emotions which then demand to be fed.
@tamlynn786
5 жыл бұрын
Drop the fantasy. I’m so guilty of this in the past and I hate it when I do it! Let life prove that he’s your soulmate. Great advice!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Astro Queen Thank you! I liked that part too ha :)
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Always9 Peace Thanks 🙏
@fullname7054
5 жыл бұрын
@@thejackbutler I am so grateful for this video. Especially the 5th as that's who I'm drawn to. I'm taking note of the 80/20 and dropping the fantasy, however I don't know how to drop my fantasies. It goes something like this: I'm not getting what I want in the relationship so I tell myself it's early days/ it'll change (or that I'm expecting too much too soon) and hey presto I'm in the future. Do you have a video on how to stop fantasising? Thank you for this video, its amazing - it's like a light in the fog. The emot available unavailable man - so confusing in a relationship. A video with more detail about spotting when you're caught up with this dynamic would be great cos the vulnerable step doesn't work to spot it, and I'm not good at spotting it.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Yes, the EAUM can definitely be confusing. It surprised me in the past how confusing I was to women. How to stop fantasizing - that's a good question! Have you seen the video - how to really love yourself?
@fullname7054
5 жыл бұрын
@@thejackbutler I haven't. I will watch it. Thanks. I am finding your films very inspiring!
@claytonolsoncoaching
5 жыл бұрын
This is bomb content. Ladies need to listen to this guy.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks man
@veronicav1779
5 жыл бұрын
yes it is. my gut instinct is amazing. dropping fantasies now.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Veronica V Awesome - good work
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
@@galexynotprovided9945 Yes, I can relate, I was always pretty good at relating with people and yet had to acknowledge one day I was having a hard time in intimate relationships. Glad you found some gold here :)
@christinajackson3461
5 жыл бұрын
EVERYONE would benefit from considering these things.
@sistersgatheringtoheal3645
5 жыл бұрын
#5 was an eye-opener! I've been with the "emotionally available unavailable" guy and was so confused b/c I didn't know this "hybrid" existed. I'm convinced that the best protection or defense against insincere, unavailable men is SELF-LOVE...and to always put my self-worth and well-being above my desire to have a man in my life.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
SistersGatheringtoHeal Glad you stayed for no5! I think you’ right on self-love and at a certain point it won’t even feel like there’s a defense against insincerity just not the resonance to be drawn to engage
@sistersgatheringtoheal3645
5 жыл бұрын
@@thejackbutler You're absolutely spot on! At last, I'm at a place where there's no need any longer for hypervigilance, defense or any of the like. Now when I meet a man, I trust myself enough to see him for who he really is, not thru the lens of desperation, emotional insufficiency or not-enoughness. I'm happy with me. Thank you for going deep. I appreciate you
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
SistersGatheringtoHeal That’s great - well done you - sounds like great work. And thanks for the reflection 🙏
@tarryant9825
5 жыл бұрын
Well said @SistersGatheringtoHeal
@cjennings6179
5 жыл бұрын
Many men are just out trolling to catch a desperate lonely cute silly foolish gullible pretty girl!! They are bored. Need ATTENTION!!! Attentive ladies willing to give their prize away for ATTENTION!!! Everybody desires ATTENTION. WithOUT THOUGHT TO THE REGRETS that happen.😖😩😫. Esp. If mind altering drugs alcohol etc. Is USED for courage/confidence to meet up & engage is used. 😧😩 Not SAFE. IDEAS go bad. Regrets for foolish females/girls/chics/Women/ladies/gals/etc.( Non prof. it is their chosen job.)
@cjennings6179
5 жыл бұрын
Women are NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYBODY'S HAPPINESS!!👍. Take NOTE! 👍
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Maybe their own...?
@sankofasun8623
5 жыл бұрын
Are men?
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Sankofa Sun I think at their best / conscious men, yes absolutely
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
véronique crabbé Makes sense. Guess the distinction is between wanting someone to be happy and being responsible for it. 🙏
@sankofasun8623
5 жыл бұрын
Hmm.. Equality anyone? :D
@NYCRhythm
5 жыл бұрын
You’re a genius. I’m a Primary Care Physician and you have given everyone free therapy which would normally cost thousands of dollars. No medication can replace your kind, superbly intelligent guidance. Thank you
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! I'm interested in the interface you're talking about - where better perspectives/habits are supportive of reducing/eliminating the needs for certain meds.
@NYCRhythm
5 жыл бұрын
Yes! I’m certainly not opposed to meds if they’re needed, but what is usually needed more is professional guidance from incredible people like yourself and loving support from funny, kind friends/family....exercise....etc. but without the professional guidance like yours, the rest often doesn’t help. I will spread the word about you and Clayton. Thank you again!
@themeekwillinherittheearth1600
5 жыл бұрын
Too many narcs out there. They would not like your percentages. I'll wait for the right one. I've dated all kinds. i am in my 70s now. Guess I'll die being a happy single.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Yes to waiting for the right one. And yes to working on dissolving any defences we have to doing that 🙏🏼
@waarheidsgetrouwe288
5 жыл бұрын
im 30 proberly on the same road. You are not alone after all.
@Stellabyestarlight
5 жыл бұрын
The meek Will inherit the earth 53 here. I can’t handle 20 more years of narcopaths lol
@karenabbott5974
5 жыл бұрын
I guess I'll die single too. I'm a year and a half free from a 47 year marriage to a narc. I 've been dating 66-68 year olds and always get replaced by a 56 year old woman as his favorite. And I stay in the friend zone.
@animalames78
5 жыл бұрын
Men make relationships difficult...honestly you don't know how difficult it is to find a good one
@joeldwest
5 жыл бұрын
Too many are bums thinking they can get away with being gigolos instead of being men.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Obviously there are all sorts of men out there. Is there a dominant type you're attracting or dominant experience you're having of men?
@animalames78
5 жыл бұрын
Jack Butler ... too many bad experiences I guess. Selfish men ... I just can’t seem to see any good in any men anymore... I think I’m just done really.
@wanderingintime
5 жыл бұрын
I feel for you, but do you realize you sound like one of those "nice guys" blaming women, but it's reversed? I am not minimizing your frustration, pain or loneliness.... but as someone in a (I assume) similar situation, I want to be done looking at the world like I'm being attacked. That is all me doing it to myself. (Sometimes it does happen. But we must learn to discern what is mine and what is "theirs") What I think about - where/how I put my energy, I make life happen differently because of it. Imagination is the doorway to perceptions. This power can be used either to empower or disable you. I am still struggling with these concepts.. but I'm glad that we can always have the potential to "level up." Expectation, idealizing and 'filling in the blanks' are the biggest dangers to everything. It is not the same as planning.
@joeldwest
5 жыл бұрын
@@animalames78 Yes, selfish, mental bullying, entitled, dishonest, insecure and greedy. It's like Dukakis said, "A fish rots from the head". I believe it is no mistake we have 'in your face' corruption, pollution and war unending in the sphere of the impersonal and masculine and find similar in the realm of the personal. It's as though too many men have decided ethical behaviors, like a man should be very proud with which to conduct himself, is somehow "out of style".
@black7jesus
5 жыл бұрын
The key is being vulnerable. That’s the secret. See how he will react when you let your guard down. Trust me, you will see. If he stays and wants to help, he’s the one for you.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Vulnerability as filter. Yay to that 🙏
@lenettew1353
3 жыл бұрын
Don't tell someone your biggest secrets out of the gate. Tell them about one insecurity and see how they respond. You have to build trust over time. If they humiliate you for sharing or If they start that devaluation crap, with the judgment and harsh criticism, you know you are dealing with a toxic individual! It don't matter what the malfunction is, get out.
@TheTyra1976
4 жыл бұрын
“Use vulnerability as a filter.” Best advice ever!! I’ve had several men let me down as soon as I showed any vulnerability. Unfortunately, this happened after dating a long time. I was even engaged to one of them. I’m going to use this from here on out. Thank you, Jack!
@thejackbutler
4 жыл бұрын
Awesome - glad that's been easy for you to see the value in that perspective. You're welcome!
@mindbodyfitness99
5 жыл бұрын
Just discovered your videos. ‘Emotionally available unavailable men’ ........wow....... I almost passed this by this morning. I came upon you by accident. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Thank you, Jack! I’m a fan.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you!! Glad you stumbled across the channel. What's your expc of emotionally AU men?
@janiemiller825
5 жыл бұрын
#3- omg 😮 His dog 🐕 scratched my arm I was bleeding pretty badly He showed no emotion - empathy I asked for a bandaid & he said- nah Suggested I just rinse it off with water That showed me enough to stick him into bye 👋 bye 👋 zone - lol 😂 Actually there was a couple other red flags already - then this lack of empathy or care was it- for me. Bye 👋
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Janie Miller I get it, sounds like a tough experience. Sometimes as guys we can get logical vs being empathetic, so just a caveat not to subjectify him (for more on that - my video called #1 attitude men love in women) given his response is a long way from what yours would be. Hope you find more of what you are looking for 🙏
@pricklypear1111
5 жыл бұрын
What a creep!
@pigglywiggly3488
5 жыл бұрын
Dealing with a narcissist
@joeldwest
5 жыл бұрын
If a man doesn't make an effort for you, he is not worth giving him any attention
@SamaC713
5 жыл бұрын
Janie Miller psychopath
@africanbrowny
5 жыл бұрын
"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear" 😊 Thank you so much for teaching us. I'm learning
@shirleyjimenez29
5 жыл бұрын
Omg! Drop the fantasy. I didn't know I did that. You are right, i tend to get stuck on the daydream of fantasy..Thank you
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Freedom from the fantasy! 🙏
@redeemerl5212
4 жыл бұрын
I knew a 42 year old man whos favorite fim was the Wizard of Oz i mean wtf lol thats fantasy
@starlite0784
5 жыл бұрын
Yes, and this type of guy is devastating to be with because in the end, he walks out, ghosts you. But I did see some of the signs very early on but I was too overwhelmed by my feelings for him that I couldn't extract myself in time. VERY, VERY PAINFUL! Once he moved back to his country, he let slip some shady things that he was involved in but I couldn't, and I am still struggling to REALLY let him go but I know that I MUST!
@Dgh_5667
3 жыл бұрын
Almost the exact thing happened to me .Though,he was focused on his personal problems and eventually stopped having feelings for me. At first he ghosted me then broke up with me saying how stressed he was over the things he's been dealing with and then said he stopped having feelings for me. Before all that happened he was all loving and caring. I just don't understand how fast he changed his mind. 😔
@my1creation
5 жыл бұрын
You are good (comment worthy good 😄). Normally, watching these types of videos will reinforce the painful emotion that makes you click on it in the first place; but I literally FELT BETTER afterwards (this is the second video of yours that I’ve watched). You are informative, compassionate and progressive. You give medicine that may be hard to swallow, but actually does it job and soothes and heals in the end. Thank you so much for your offering. God Bless You.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
my1creation Thanks for taking the time to share that 🙏 and it’s gratifying to hear you felt better 😊
@lochnesss987
5 жыл бұрын
my1creation that is exactly how I felt! Well said!
@my1creation
5 жыл бұрын
Vanessa Redmond 😃 thank you ☺️ Isn’t the REAL truth just easier to hear AND speak?!
@priyaramakrishnan5691
4 жыл бұрын
Impressive !
@carolgrove2285
5 жыл бұрын
"Frustration object relation"! I've never heard this before, but it seems to be the story of ALL areas of my life! Thanks for the insight!!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Carol Grove Yep, was quite eye opening when I learned about it 5 years ago. Glad it’s been illuminating 🙏
@TiffTheTyrant
5 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I feel shame about the fact I have not had a real loving relationship yet. :( I have attracted these types and it seems I used to be attracted to these types. I need to change and learn. I am doing self parenting and plugging into my intuition. It’s been a very spiritual awakening and makes me very emotional every day since I’ve started an inner self love journey. Everything you say is SO CORRECT. I DO fantasize about who they are! I didn’t even realize I was doing it!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Hey Tiffany! Glad this message resonated with you. Good luck relaxing the fantasizing and attracting more of what you really want 🙏
@apstockley
5 жыл бұрын
Omg... yes!! I am in the early stages of #5!!! This makes so much sense. He says he wants a relationship but makes time for everything else, friends and family but me. When I ask about it, be vulnerable, I get told I am bringing him drama and overthinking. NO- he is not available and does not want to be questioned or take accountability for his actions! Agh!!! Three months down the drain. Thank you for making this so I can see NOW that this was going nowhere.
@arxsyn
5 жыл бұрын
april It's okay. 3 months is a normal period of casual dating to see if you want to commit. You get over that hump, you have yourself a committed LTR. If not, move on, forget him. I know it sucks. Easier said than done. But a better one WILL come along. In love, you have to take a little risk (of getting hurt), otherwise nothing will happen, whatsoever.
@wildangel4452
5 жыл бұрын
I think the last one is the best, IMO. That’s where I’m at after experiencing all the rest. Next is to start meeting men that connect AND are completely available.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
MyLucid Ng Tnx! Yes to meeting those kind of men!
@goddessravenlovelife7452
5 жыл бұрын
I’m literally crying right now it resonated with me so much
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Julie Williams Awww, Glad it resonated so much 🙏
@MsSilverstar78
2 жыл бұрын
Tears came to my eyes, also. Soooo many wasted years of my life.
@Suz562
5 жыл бұрын
I love the 80/20 idea. It has really helped me to listen to my intuition more. These are fantastic Jack! Thank you for this video. 😊
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Suz You’re welcome! Glad they’re really helping 🙏
@parispeony23
5 жыл бұрын
Your utubes make "a world of difference" thank you for what you do 🙏
@marijamarincic
5 жыл бұрын
Btw I can not believe it is 2019 and we are in need of videos like this or... How to know if he likes you... What is he thinking when ignoring you or 5 steps to get him to call you.... Its just insane. My mom and dad got toghether when my dad saw my mum, thought to himself 'i like her'.. Asked her out and it was as simple as that.... Jesus....
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
I hear you - I think there are things we can learn from that generation. And - the world has complexified, globalized and technologized since then so it's not apples and apples. And lots of women put up with a lot in their marriages that mostly people stand against today. Back then guys had less need to be emotionally available - that wasn't the contract. Now, if you're a financially secure woman, you may want a guy who's emotionally available because what you're seeking in relationship is different...
@nancyvega1785
5 жыл бұрын
@@thejackbutler Right, I agree. Your video is rich and helpful and we need it TODAY. Women used to look for providers and aspired to keep house and to care for children. Men wanted to be seen as strong and "Daddy knows best." More structured and rigid defined gender roles used to be were thought off as living a successful life. Now we need more expansion in thoughts and behaviors and to have even more emotional connection with ourselves.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Nancy Vega Super well said 🙏 Thank you 👍
@gretagutensohn6728
5 жыл бұрын
Lol
@ciggytwiggy
4 жыл бұрын
Ikr
@makeitcount2985
5 жыл бұрын
You name the damaged man I've met them, it's really tiring to be honest. It does not take me long to see who they are and I walk away, I'm not looking for a fixer upper I'm looking for a partner.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Just J xx Yay to that! ⭐️
@kellyannespirithealing42
5 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness this video is wonderful thank you
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
@@kellyannespirithealing42 Hey Kelly Anne! Glad you experienced it so! :)
@kellyannespirithealing42
5 жыл бұрын
@@thejackbutler I date handsome emotionally unavailable men. I have been having PTSD triggered when a man says he doesn't want a relationship with me. I really hurt the last man. I wish you would help me
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
KellyAnne Tynan Doing my best to help with these videos and comments. For real personalized help, I have a few private coaching clients: www.jackbutler.com/apply
@Np-of8gt
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the video, it helped me to move away from this emotionaly unemotional unavailable man. It was so confusing and frustating with him. Noone can help him unless he wants to help him. Finally relieved.
@CorporateQueen
5 жыл бұрын
I'm actually doing 100% on myself at the moment ... we're not together at the moment and I raised my game massively and said he can join me there, or just not contact me again. I like that we're in your lounge, Jack. It's good. Great video.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
RollingPanda Sounds like a clear communication, hope it leads to clarity with him. Yes, enjoying shooting in the homely context ha!
@CorporateQueen
5 жыл бұрын
@@thejackbutler I hope so too. He's a good guy with a good heart, just a bit messy in places, like we can all be at times. I hope he rises to the challenge.
@Amyehme
5 жыл бұрын
@@CorporateQueen Did he 'rise to the challenge' or 'disappear'?
@Amyehme
5 жыл бұрын
@@CorporateQueen Ah thanks for the response! Indeed they say it's good to 'live in the moment'!
@julies1825
5 жыл бұрын
#5 Bingo! I never heard of this description exactly said like this before and it is soooo spot on. Thank you for this clarity.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Glad you like #5, it's definitely the favorite! You're welcome :)
@ms.angelshaloville8004
5 жыл бұрын
Definitely have had plenty of time to get to know myself, vulnerabilities, and even face unrealistic ideals and fantasies about a person. I’ve also made a conscious effort stop attracting and or accepting emotionally unavailable men. Perhaps, now I just need to release ‘fear’ that there is a man out for me who’ s emotionally available. I suppose at this point it’s a matter of loving and respecting myself , waiting for the right guy, and being ok with myself in the process.....great video☺️
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Yes yes yes - I think this is really well said! Think the more you're good with yourself and your own company, the easier it is to notice who is actually good / right for you. Wishing you well with it! :)
@JustineMfulama
4 жыл бұрын
THIS IS SOO GOOD! Even when you are dating, you have to put yourself first. If all your energy goes into keeping the other person happy then your relationship is unbalanced and an emotional drain. THANK YOU FOR SHARING!
@caitlin4663
5 жыл бұрын
This is amazing! Thank you! All on point! 🙏 Just as an aside, especially with regards to point 3, one must be careful of Sociopaths. Speaking for myself, they are the most seemingly emotionally available and empathetic people, but then later down the line cause major distruction due to all the mirroring, lies, and manipulation. A good question to ask someone of this nature is 'what are you currently doing to improve or work on yourself?' An inability to answer this question properly, will show the inability to see any limitation in oneself. Also good to look at whether they have been able to maintain friendships over a long period of time. Sociopathic people tend to reel you in, and spit you out. Therefore they will have little to no long term friends. I totally agree with slowing things down. Best to get to know someone on a friendship level first, as endorphins, and Dopamine can make the intuition fuzzy. Love the 80/20% idea. Gonna do that! 🙂
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Caitlin Thanks for writing, yes agree sociopaths may need some mindful screening, I like your question. Glad you’re up for practising 80/20, let us know how you go 🙏
@kcfrancis94
5 жыл бұрын
If he's turned on by you being nasty and cold, and relentlessly chasing you when you're showing little to zero interest... More than likely, he won't return positive and mutual affection. Some of these guys are so persistent they wear you down and when you actually feel genuine attraction, they totally backpedal and act as though you're crazy for misinterpreting their pursuits. When you're good and Confused, they'll call any of your reactions... Too emotional. Red flag, run. Subliminally , you knew who he was a a coward in the first place, trust your first instincts. It will not change. I personally was a severely emotionally neglected and unwanted child. Giving and receiving love is foreign to me, but thankfully my children seem to be emotionally well looking at their own relationships. But this is a dead giveaway to attracting emotionally abusive or unavailable men.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
K C Francis Love the piece on ‘trust your first instincts’ and not expecting that someone will change 🙏
@empowerpointe
5 жыл бұрын
K C Francis 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👍🏼
@arxsyn
5 жыл бұрын
I had a friend like that too. We only went thru one date and nothing came of it, we became casual Friends; we would have infrequent Long conversations with one another. Then MANY years later, settled down with a partner, he is suddenly interested. I was like, why didn't you suggest doing these things when l was single? He couldn't really answer me in a satisfactory manner. He only found me "hot" because I'm taken? I found the thought of it kind of aberrant and offensive. He was very persistent even though l made it clear l don't do those things, I'm not single. So that was the end of our "friendship". I ghosted him
@bonnieroberts6082
4 жыл бұрын
I think this is the male version of someone who has a frustration template and is drawn to the unavailable, like women sometimes.
@monicacruz4407
5 жыл бұрын
A caveat for your point about women showing vulnerability: sometimes guys pretend to be sensitive towards you at the ‘getting to know’ stage, only ato use this against you later. This is my experience with narcissistic men. The eyes and the smile have it (the genuineness), but if the getting to know is mainly via email etc, these cues are not picked up. Expression and body language say a lot.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Totally agree - really not a fan of getting to know someone other than in realtime contact or conversation. It's also where it's important to keep your intuition dialled in so that you are as real and sober as possible about what's in front of you.
@alchristian2010
5 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad you mentioned #5 ! A lightbulb went off when when you talked about it, now it makes sense what I’ve been dealing with in my relationships. My intuition will tell me the man is not right for me , but yet it doesn’t make sense because sometimes he seems available . And so I walk away from the relationship feeling hurt and deeply confused and wondering if I’m being too judgmental. And also your point #4 really spoke to me, and really thinking about it I can see that since a child with my relationship with my father and siblings and how it’s affected me. I think My core belief is that a man will eventually not be emotionally available to me, and that it’s just the way things are. Omg 😮 I never thought of it that way, that I could possibly be playing a part in being drawn to emotionally unavailable man. Thinking back, I am pretty sure I’ve approached men who are emotionally available, and it scares me because I worry they will smother me or are only with me because they want something from me or eventually treat me bad or think I’m gullible and fall for it. I want a committed relationship but yet the right one seems so out reach. Thank you Jack for your insightful videos and compassion and the space for letting me talk ❤️. I want to do inner work and your videos have given me a little more specifics on what needs more work.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Glad this has been powerful stimulus for you! If you are getting to know an emotionally available guy...What you could practise is really noticing, being with and possibly sharing when you notice a fear of smothering. There may be a mix of relaxing the fear and also practical strategies of adjusting each other and knowing you can take space when you need to. Wishing you well with it!
@lynneclothier3349
5 жыл бұрын
Jack brilliant. I really appreciated your sensitivity and care while expressing these truths. I did not get triggered. You did not blame. I really really thank you for conmunicating in a way that created a safe space so that i could listen and learn. Im pretty sure thats why everyone is responding the same. 🎗🏆🎖
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Lynne Clothier Awww thank you, appreciate hearing that and the impact it’s having on you, doing my best 🙏
@thisanonymous5956
5 жыл бұрын
Welp, looks like I’m going to be single forever.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Well, the best way to ensure that's not the case is to stop attracting unavailable guys no?
@lenettew1353
3 жыл бұрын
I think most women would be better off getting a dog. They are so much easier to train and they are more loyal too, lol!
@christinecarlos7316
4 жыл бұрын
NOTES: 1) 80/ 20 Principle: Spend 80% on yourself. 2) Separate Fantasy from Reality. Don't fall in love w/ the possibility. Get real w/ your assessment. Slow it don't to notice what is going on. 3) Use vulnerability as a filter. Risk being vulberable-- just enough to see how he is w/ your vulnerability. See how he reacts if he will be emotionally available & support you, witness this, & be interested in this territory. How he reacts will show you if he is worth investing on. Take short term pain to diagnose & qualify this person. 4) Are you in the Frustration object relation in your life? Is there an unconscious part of you, a core belief system w/c confirms what is happening? Are you participating in the frustrating quality in your life? Are you blocked & don't get what you want? (Ex.: No available men in life. I am overlooked.) What would it take for you to look for a man who will disconfirm my belief that there are no available men? 5) Recognize the emotionally available "unavailable man". Is he ready for a committed relationship? Is he committed to anything in life? Is he "spineless" w/ no backbone? Makes money? Has a drive? Avoid investing on this type.
@ClaudiaSanchezQuintero
5 жыл бұрын
My biggest challenge is being objective and focusing on the now. I am always looking at potential, future, hopes and dreams. Thanks for sharing these ideas! Extremely helpful! Enlightening and useful!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Hey Claudia! Thanks for the feedback! Yes, taking aim at being more objective is powerful work in my experience 🙏🏼
@sashashaktiable
5 жыл бұрын
This is the first time ever I actually feel this is great advice when it comes to relationships. Thank you for giving advice from the heart instead of copying the bs ❤
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
That's really gratifying to hear - thank you :)
@pickmeupstix
2 жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh... the “frustrations in life” and “emotionally available unavailable man” and segments just knocked my socks off..!! So on point 😳 I’ve been connecting with an EAUM over the last few weeks... damn are they a confusing breed! It was one of your breadcrumbing videos that really opened my eyes last night, and now you’ve nailed it once again lolz Bravo, Jack 👏😎
@thejackbutler
2 жыл бұрын
Happy these are supporting your awareness 🙏 Yes, EAUM can be very confusing 😅
@MH-pw3vy
5 жыл бұрын
You just hit my recent situation on the head with your point #5. I had already figured it out but your "what to watch for" will doubtless help many women who, like me, knew something was off, but didn't understand exactly what was happening until I was emotionally in the hurt zone. I've been doing the work, and your explanations are great.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks Marie! Appreciate that :) And glad to hear you've been doing the work - well done 🙏🏼
@catifex
5 жыл бұрын
Wow!!! The bonus.... the emotionally available unavailable man... I really needed to hear that, I'm struggling letting go of a man like that, it just always feels like he's soo in tune to me, but everything else is, well pretty much crap, breadcrumbing me, only calls late at nighr, etc. Thank you Jack
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
catifex I liked that bonus too :). Glad it helps you in your current situation
@grumpyschnauzer
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the last part about the Emotionally Available Unavailable for Relationship Guy. The struggle is real lol and all because we are not taught these concepts growing up 🤦🏻♀️
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
You're welcome - glad it helped! And yes wouldn't relationship education in schools/college be a thing?
@cassandramreyes89
5 жыл бұрын
#5 was huge!!! I’m experiencing this right now, nice to have a name for it.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Glad the naming helped! 🙏
@lizardquinn
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for supplying the fifth description (emotionally available/unavailable guy). This EXACTLY describes my most recent ex-boyfriend. It wasn't obvious to me what was happening until I had already fallen for him and then he broke up with me. Couldn't understand why I couldn't see the signs clearly until hearing this description. Still heartbroken over what happened. To make it worse, 6 months later he starts dating someone else and 6 months after their relationship began he is living with her and most likely giving her what he couldn't give me. Makes me feel used. Wish these guys would just stay single until they figure their shit out instead of dating when they're not really emotionally available. Would save us so much pain. Lesson learned I suppose.
@OLatreil
4 жыл бұрын
I'm on tip #3 and I'm already feeling like I should be taking notes, and expounding. This is good info!
@thejackbutler
4 жыл бұрын
Hey Miss Jackson Right on! Good to hear 👍
@hilanamarais8587
5 жыл бұрын
thank you for your post. the guy i truly love and admire has just walked out on me without me ever seeing it coming. in my truth our relationship was great, healthy and i grew within myself as well as loved him everyday more as i got to know his inner being and character. i felt safe to invest completely. one thing i didnt see coming is that he would just wake up one morning and leave. needless to say i am devastated and confused, i think #5 ( emotionally available, unavailable ) will help me in the long run. untill then, for now i have reached depths of extreme sadness and loss. realising that there is nothing i can do to encourage him to celebrate me for who i am, and choose our relationship.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
I hear you, that sounds really tough. Wishing you the courage to be with your experience and feel things as fully as possible, in service of moving on fully. 🙏
@hilanamarais8587
5 жыл бұрын
@@thejackbutler thank you. my whole being wants him back, but my subtle attempts to connect with him or discuss it has been unsuccessful.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
@@hilanamarais8587 Sometimes it can be good to be direct, even if it risks feeling rejecting because then the truth of the situation can emerge - and (over time) - set you free.
@ryshlovanoodo7591
5 жыл бұрын
Why won't Valerie call me back, she's moved on to a mushroom tip that's not burnt.
@youtooDebz10
5 жыл бұрын
Three minutes in, subscribed!! 🔥 Love, love, love!!!! #loveyoufirst #bereal #behuman
@youtooDebz10
5 жыл бұрын
Same!!! 🔥🔥🔥
@JesusSaves77799
5 жыл бұрын
I think you are a fabulous guy. You give really sound, gentle, reasonable, uplifting and empowering advice. You don’t bring women down or make them feel bad about their situations. Your clarity and level- headed nature is so helpful. Thank you for helping so many people!! 🙏
@annstar2793
Жыл бұрын
The 80/20 thing has actually allowed me to better tolerate emotionally unavailable people, because I’m not too focused on them…and the part that works with them, just works if I don’t expect them to be different.
@thejackbutler
Жыл бұрын
Sounds like some good practise and real freedom
@prettynena3102
5 жыл бұрын
I’m unavailable too...wounded childhood...
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Appreciate your awareness. Wounds are our great opportunity to love ourselves more, even if the path isn't easy... 🙏🏼
@scorpionsoracle3465
5 жыл бұрын
Frustration mentality. Me exactly in so many aspects of my life
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Yep you and a lot of us! Question: who would you be without your frustration?
@knitnpaint
3 жыл бұрын
My guy is number 5 and I am devastated by this. In the beginning he was all in and now he is emotionally completely disconnected. I am getting headaches from beating my head against the wall.
@madeinhisimage3447
5 жыл бұрын
Excellent lesson on this subject. When I’m obsessing, fretting, and pining I’m not being emotionally present at all with my own self. It’s a very deep form of self neglect when I think of it. Staying present with oneself in order to be fully present with another is one of the keys to all of this! I will be listening over and over to this talk and take notes until it really sinks in. My parents where 100 percent emotionally unavailable. Now I need a sort of scaffolding into emotionally available domains. I’m so hungry for it that I rush so fast into it but then I get overwhelmed to the point of feeling engulfed and claustrophobic that I have to leave. The pain of the loss isn’t as bad as the pain of the feeling of being emotionally crowded. That symbiotic thing without any real breaks to self regulate scares me to no end.
@daisyroots8926
5 жыл бұрын
Absolutely fantastic advice and so so timely as I’ve just finished with a chap who didn’t want me but kept seeing me.... sad this weekend but proud of myself ❤️
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Good on you! Think that's so important to do. Virtual cheers to you!
@kasturinaidoo6634
5 жыл бұрын
EXCELLENT content! Thank you Jack for being vulnerable enough to recognize yourself on point no. 5. I actually had a huge realization myself. It's not only certain men that are emotionally unavailable. I realized that when men show their vulnerable side I've been the one to run and hide. So thank you so much for that!!!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
You're welcome - glad when my personal journey / pain can serve people. Like that realization you had! 🙏
@Eponagirl0810
4 жыл бұрын
Being an INFJ personality type whose N and F values are off the charts and an idealistic incurable romantic...I specialize in being vulnerable and attracting emotionally unavailable men lol, even though I am looking for a beautiful bond like that of my parents. I might just be the poster child in this regard. Have no fear, I am daily growing. My Father told me a long time ago that I am very tender hearted, not a bad trait all, but I have to remind myself to guard it well. Thank you for this video.
@thejackbutler
4 жыл бұрын
Esther414 You’re welcome. Yes, probably good to direct some of that romantic idealism once you’re discerned it really is the right relationship? And yay to NFs!
@CristinaDavalos1127
5 жыл бұрын
One of the best videos on this topic I've heard.. . On point and resonated completely. Thank you!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Xtina D Right on! Thank you 🙏
@sweetyjones1756
5 жыл бұрын
Oh this is amazing! Such a lesson to learn and what you are saying is so true.. I had to learn all this the hard way and I think the problem that we women have is we like to nurture or help these men, like we are with everyone else, as its part of our biological makeup in life but it serves to work against us!.. thank you for this x
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Yes - learning how to transcend and include our biology is a real journey of development!
@NarnianLady
5 жыл бұрын
Yes very true Sweety Jones - we women tend to be overly compassionate and merciful regarding someone's serious faults and bad behavior. No one can be 'rescued' against their will. It is OK to have compassion from a safe distance! (paradoxically we then are often berated for being 'too picky'..)
@sweetyjones1756
5 жыл бұрын
@@NarnianLady Haha... So true!
@cosmospray
5 жыл бұрын
Very unusual and precise insights in this video, thank you, im subscribing !
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Cosmos Spray Thank you for subscribing and the feedback! 🙏
@ylberinabdullahu9220
5 жыл бұрын
Be yourself, love yourself more than anyone else. Once you feel this everyone else will want to be around you because you inspire them. It shows that if you care for yourself you do care for others too. Positive energy brings positive people in your life.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your share 🙏
@lmusima3275
Жыл бұрын
I made the mistake of hanging on to an emotionally unavailable guy for 3 years. He told me that he wasn’t ready to take things further yet would message me day and night , requesting Skype and video chat 💬 on a regular basis. What a waste of time
@thejackbutler
Жыл бұрын
I hear you. If the learning integrates in you, that's where it becomes not a waste of time and sets you up well for the future
@wandagoncalves3049
5 жыл бұрын
That was very interesting information, I really need to apply all five concepts to myself especially the 80/20. All I ever do is give my all, and get absolutely nothing but disappointment, hurt and used in the end.. Thank you so much.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Hey Wanda, you're welcome! If you practise this, LMK how you go 🙏
@camillamartz3289
5 жыл бұрын
Yes. So powerful. That is what happened to me for sure. I watch you and Helena a lot and have learned so much. He told me sorry If I lead you on after he asked me to be his girl, fix my car meet family friends co workers. He Is hurt by life and would not let me in. I saw that and tried, but I had to move on. Thank you so much for your videos.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Camilla Martz Glad you tried your best and then honored what you needed. You’re welcome 🙏
@meliq13
5 жыл бұрын
#5 was SUPER applicable to me. 🤯
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Awesome :)
@meliq13
5 жыл бұрын
@Priyanka Gupta Thank you, my dear!! 🤗
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
@Priyanka Gupta I wish I could see this - just shows as a square on my screen!
@cjennings6179
5 жыл бұрын
Dating is gathering data of the HONESTY & RESPECTFUL CONDUCT & his & her habits hobbies beliefs. CORE VALUES. STABILITY. HARDWORKING VIEWS. EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE ETC. FUTURE SAFETY.???
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
How's dating going?
@blueskies773
5 жыл бұрын
Now what about the dude who shows up as emotionally available-until you commit in a certain way? I’ve had experiences with that and it’s frustrating. My past experience, he was super supportive, emotionally available-until I moved in. He completely stopped trying and when I tried to suggest we try new things he became offended and became the victim. His child flags flew in, he started gaming all day, became emotionally unavailable and incredibly selfish. How can I spot dudes that are all-in, until we commit? It’s a major time waster, I dated him for two years and I’m over dating dishonest men who are truly boys in men’s clothing...
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
imlovely Good question...one thing you could look for is how he’s showing up in the rest of his life. Is there something he’s really tending to over the long term? - his career, a passion project, his family. Also moving in cam sometimes create new dynamics so I would encourage explicit conversations around needs, space, connection etc.
@blueskies773
5 жыл бұрын
Wow, thank you. This is a really valuable response.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
imlovely Great to hear 🙏
@crystlesenn8901
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you, I really needed that tonight! 👍 It's like KZitem read my mind 😂
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Crystle Senn Oh awesome! Love it when that happens 🙏
@lauriejeffery9855
3 жыл бұрын
WOW! I just dated this emotionally available, unavailable guy...it makes sense...he had just come off of a divorce. I ignored my instincts because I knew him well and had dated him many years ago. I ended up being a distraction from the personal work he needed to do on himself. I did however listen to my instincts when I felt a shift in the feeling of the relationship. I let him go (painfully) as I knew it was the right thing to do for both of us. He admitted that he was preoccupied with unhappiness and had let the details of his life slip and his obligations to the extended family too. He had many outside obligations. There was ultimately no room for me and he was not ready for a relationship. He showed up, full-on energy, and treated me better than anyone had ever treated me. He was plugged in and had introduced me to important family members; mother, sister, grandchildren, etc. He had met all the important people in my world as well. this was a 13-month relationship. A lesson learned for me.
@nidhilad9452
2 жыл бұрын
I am married to an emotionally unavailable man. I am going through shitt right now am so much frustrated Beacuse of him and am suffering from depression and I came across this video thank you so much it’s helping me to move on giving me courage
@thejackbutler
2 жыл бұрын
Yay to moving on, finding your courage. Keep going 🙏
@suesipp2575
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you Jack! Just found you tonight! I was just wondering about a guy who i dated many years ago who i see when i go out dancing. We have mutual friends together. He fits the guy you talk about in #5. So cool~ I have been on a self awareness and healing journey for awhile now. Healing from a convert narc relationship which turned me to go inward and get help. I am doing major work on my inner child and her wanting!!! Since this deep inner work my eyes have been open to family members and past relationships and friends. My mind and body are changing as i learn how to feel what is happening inside me and choosing to put me first. I am learning so much! I hope to teach and help others in the future~
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Sue Sipp Glad you found the channel! Yes, happy I included that no5, seems like it’s been valuable to people. Like hearing of all your inner work, keep it up!
@thereallovedavis
5 жыл бұрын
It’s nothing wrong with treating ppl the way they treat you and if I act or become unavailable emotionally that man will do all he can to get that attention back unless I prolong the punishment of being unavailable to him then he just might give up the key is to know when to do it and when not to do it
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
The Real Love Davis Whatever works really :) Just be mindful that there are realities where you can speak directly what’s true for you and not risk playing games
@nikstar1313
5 жыл бұрын
Omg number 5 has confused me, I've just put a label on it, thank you!
@thejackbutler
4 жыл бұрын
You're welcome
@nicomorphine6
5 жыл бұрын
More like a dating therapist than a dating coach. I like that!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
I'll take that ha! :)
@sarahdavies3690
5 жыл бұрын
This is such great advice, I've had two failed long term relationships, and I totally agree with all your points, just wished I'd behaved like this earlier! X
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Sarah Davies Glad those points landed well with you. Wishing you well for something better going forward!
@sfoster8932
5 жыл бұрын
Jack, thank you so much for sharing. This hits home for me and is powerful and profound. I needed to hear this and I will put your wisdom to use!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Excellent - wishing you well in activating wisdom!
@sunshine9717
2 жыл бұрын
Wow! You are on point. Let me add, watch out for the guy who loves you too quickly, talks about marriage too quickly, constantly reminds you he's your man and how much you need him, has no friends of his own. This type of man will want all your attention and place himself into every scene of your life, treats you child-like, yet you've been figuring out your life for years. Watch out for the emotionally available man on the surface. But deep down he's not available for deep meaningful conversations. This type of guy will not value your vulnerable side. Beware of the man who consistently blames others for his stupidity or actions and watch out for the man. Who is unable to hold a job. Yet he is way in his 40s or 50s. Ladies, it's better to be single. Then trapped in another unhealthy miserable relationship. When you know better do better. 💯
@AcPh-nc3vz
5 жыл бұрын
It is so much harder to meet emotionally available men after 35 or 40. They just get more distant and damaged as they go through life.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
@eye behiding The potato chips wedding omg! I would just suggest that there are both possibilities - baggage and healing. And there are an increasing number of men who are doing their work - so in the regard, you are more likely to find a guy you can work with than at previous points in history IMO.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
I imagine this is a partial truth, not a blanket one. Even if it were true, what does that mean for you - like how would you change your strategy or maintain your empowerment? I am stating that coz sometimes when we want something for ourselves it may not always serve to go into the general and sociological vs staying with your goal and how to best move toward it? Thanks for writing 🙏
@AcPh-nc3vz
5 жыл бұрын
Jack Butler- Actually, I feel sad for men. It is so much more socially acceptable for a woman to engage with activities that promote emotional healing than it is for a man. My husband walked out on me a little more than a year ago. Since then, I have had tremendous support. I have sought healing through yoga, gardening, meditation, acupuncture, volunteer work, therapy, re-connecting with old friends, re-decorating my house, meeting new people, trying new sports etc. The men I have met, who are 45-55 years old, college educated and within an upper middle class income bracket, do not seem to have access to these types of things. They are stressed because they own businesses or are in upper management positions at work. They have had their hearts broken by their ex wives. They pay child support for children they don’t see very often or they are the primary parent of their children with no support. They have health problems or injuries they never recovered from, they have parents with health problems. Men in our culture don’t have access to the same kind of support networks that women have. It is no wonder that when they get out on the dating scene, they are guarded and are not emotionally available.
@dafirstlady3254
5 жыл бұрын
you rock jack! love the last one! biggup!👊🏼
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Da First Lady Thank you ⭐️
@joliemiranda5685
5 жыл бұрын
Wowwwwww! This is indeed "unusual" tips! Thanks jack your videos are making me grow in self love, acceptance, respect for myself and deeper connection with myself. I feel alot more confident and defined about what I want, and what I should seek, without compromising my own happiness anymore ! Thank you so much.. But why didn't you start a channel earlier before now??!.. But You know what? It's not too late, i'm so glad you started a channel, more importantly I found you! ... Frankly, there's a strong connection between your style of delivery and content with that of Helena. Though your content differs for sure in a certain way, I feel a synergy, and hearing from the male perspective gives evidential proof Helena definitely knows what she's always been talking about. .. With you both, I definitely have grasped my true Feminine Energy, I feel a networking of self inside of me, and I'm a part of me now!!! Feels so good! :) 💞
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the share and the wow! Yes, I appreciate Helena's work and glad to hear you're getting to know your true essence!
@catifex
5 жыл бұрын
Very well said. Exactly how I'm feeling. You put it so eloquently. Thank you
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
catifex Great to hear 🌟
@serenacestra7527
2 жыл бұрын
The last type described was actually really accurate and not easy to find that profile in any other video. It would be great to deep dive more. Well done!
@thejackbutler
2 жыл бұрын
EAUG - yes. I think I have picked up on this in other videos but maybe not as the only focus
@simonaabis2653
5 жыл бұрын
Point 4 is shockingly true! It's the story of my life! I never seem to be able to get what I would really love. It would be good if you could do a video where you talk more in depth about this issue and perhaps give some advice on how to overcome it.
@londym.
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks Jack, you are so spot on, I am so out of tune with myself, I know it and am now working on it. Thank you for the apologies, you're so sweet. 😊😍😙. It's the apologies I feel I needed.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Londy M. Thank you 🙏. Glad the apologies landed for you, that’s gratifying to hear 😊
@gratitude5740
5 жыл бұрын
Gosh! I would give him more attention than to my elderly mom or family members. I would never not pick up a call from him when I heard the ring ....... I was living my fantasy. It was triggered by his love bombing and the way he talked to me . He talked about wedding venues and honeymoon.....I jumped on the idea . When I wanted to study him deeper asking him about deeper questions towards the future he would say , we can talk about this later . It happened more and more often and that made me feel like I’m alone in the relationship. I wanted him more opened . It was sometimes easy but mostly not . I would give him more time to get to know him better and the more I wanted to work on the exploration of the relationship the busier he was . We don’t communicate anymore for almost 7 weeks . That is ok now but I was suffering a lot not knowing .
@Branaymolly
Жыл бұрын
I don't even care anymore about someone being emotionally unavailable I'm focused on me....I had a moment but I'm good now
@thejackbutler
Жыл бұрын
Just make sure you’re not conflating non-attachment with detachment
@dustyandmax2239
4 жыл бұрын
Yes focus on self and less on the other. Great way to remember the 80/20 rule! Being present and not fantasy driven is key. These videos are incredible. Thank you.
@thejackbutler
4 жыл бұрын
Dustin Russel Thank you! Glad you digging in and getting value ⭐️
@jocelynmalone8057
5 жыл бұрын
All I can say is ....👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I work on this with clients everyday!!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
🙏
@bnkn8431
5 жыл бұрын
This video changed my life. I was primed for this video. Your bonus tip really hit home. Thank you!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
Amazing! That's awesome to read! Thanks for tuning in and sharing :)
@arankagionetti2098
3 жыл бұрын
Jack!! I'm telling you again!!! You are the best to explain!!! There is no blah blah every one of your words is valuable and brilliant!!
@thejackbutler
3 жыл бұрын
Aww thanks for the reminder! ;)
@energyrenewaloasis
5 жыл бұрын
The emotionally available unavailable man ... that’s what I’ve got. Great way to put a wrapper on that Jack. Thanks! Time to let this one go, me thinks.
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
LJ Campbell Yes naming something can be powerful right? Good luck honoring what you need to do 🙏😊
@thisisHowHedidit
5 жыл бұрын
YOU HAVE SPOKEN TO ME TODAY AND I THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR THIS GOOD WORD!! MUAH!!
@thejackbutler
5 жыл бұрын
StandStill 72 You’re welcome! Glad it served you 🙏
@joanclawford8964
5 жыл бұрын
Extremely helpful. Thank you. Happiness is felt when expectations meet reality .... 😄👍❤️
@oliviast.pierre5550
5 жыл бұрын
thanks, I haven't found the special person in my whole life. I am having trouble with finding a good life with a good fella.
@Thewaymymommakesit
2 жыл бұрын
#5 is the guy I am attached to and removing my attachment. Thank you
@lisas.5703
5 жыл бұрын
Wow....this really helped me. So many insights that I’ve never thought about. Very valuable information. Thank you!
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