Well I clicked very fast didn't i😂❤🙌🏼 Always looking for ways of improving with any relationship
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
Yay!! xoxo I hope it was helpful :) xoxo
@josieseeger8387
5 жыл бұрын
My boyfriend and I sat down and made boundary lists and expectations list and mutually agreed on how to meet in the middle. Its still a work in progress but it is a continuous effort unil we can do it intuitively. We both have 80% toxic relationship history with exes so we dont whant ro make the same mistakes.
@chrissearcher3563
5 жыл бұрын
@@josieseeger8387 this is awesome! Great job!
@msmegan4564
5 жыл бұрын
@@Katimorton your videos have helped me more than you know. I showed my fiance your channel and he likes it too!
@anureetarora3717
4 жыл бұрын
@@josieseeger8387 that's so amazing.. did it work? And like how did you decide on it?
@athenacaputo
5 жыл бұрын
Something that I learned recently is to not jump to conclusions. If your partner does something you don't like, don't just get angry, ask them why. Open up a conversation. I know for me, in my particular scenario, it led to a deeper understand of my boyfriend's mind and his own struggles and how he copes. It also resulted in a lot of introspection for me. I really had to dig and figure out why I reacted the way I did. It ultimately strengthened our bond and we learned to forgive each other, I feel like it's one of those experiences that'll help us in the future.
@iremozbay5394
5 жыл бұрын
i wish i could do this. i don't know why but i have trouble talking about uncomfortable things - i hate confrontation so most of the time if someone makes me angry i don't say anything and let my frustration out via passive aggressive remarks.
@athenacaputo
5 жыл бұрын
@@iremozbay5394 I had a lot of trouble with it too. He's really the only person I don't get agressive with and that's because I know he won't judge me. Sometimes it can be hard to communicate, especially with people who get aggressive back.
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
“We are all whole on our own, we have everything we need inside ourselves” I wish I had heard this YEARS ago. This was a hard lesson for me to learn & it took my marriage ending to figure it out
@Silverag212
5 жыл бұрын
Confidence, clarity, and a love for someone else. Not what someone else does for you
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
Agreed!! xoxo
@ninjaHJ1
5 жыл бұрын
I'm no expert but I find my partners are most happy when I give them a little push to go do their hobbies. Both alone and accasionaly joining in. Don't give up your hobbies for your partner either.
@akirashiori6265
5 жыл бұрын
Or hang out with friends. I know my partner likes to hang out with me, and I with him, but I can tell sometimes his friends become agitated with how little time they get with him. I like suggesting him to go online and play a few games with his friends, or go out for drinks with them. Makes him miss me more ;)
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
Agreed!!! xoxo
@hobimysunshine7
5 жыл бұрын
One thing that I always try to keep in mind when discussing an issue with a loved one is that you can never take back your words, so if you say something hurtful without thinking, it doesn't matter if you meant it or not, it's already said, and you can say sorry later but that person may never forget what you said in the first place. So, we have to always be careful with our words 😊
@rosie3749
5 жыл бұрын
Me and boyfriend are being together more than 5 months , and we are very happy , that magic Kati talked about, about slowing down , we actually had that magic. Everything is going so smooth. We have a very healthy relationship. We can't wait for our future together. We are very respectful to each other When we have some arguments, we are very civil and let each other tell our side of the story and talk it out and if it needs forgiveness we forgive and move on. We are very honest and never hide anything from each other. We are closest person to each other. These past 5 months was very,very significant and that was a gift.
@PRoseLegendary
5 жыл бұрын
My partner and I have had a really unhealthy relationship but we're both seeing counsellors and working on our issues and things are improving dramatically. We realised that codependency is not healthy, and we need to be emotionally healthy to make our relationship healthy.
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
I am so glad you are both seeing a counselor so you can work it out!!! Because it can get better :) xoxo
@BrainsApplied
5 жыл бұрын
*Spend time on each other and keep doing so.* Make one evening per week your "date night" where you only give attention to each other 😊
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
I love it!! Yes! xoxo
@blondie-1112
5 жыл бұрын
A another thing is boundries. I started a new course today and it was amazing how many people were willing to drop their own boundaries and start exchanging details from the get go. It is as you said. Give things time.
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
YES!! Boundaries are so important!! xxo
@anaafrida634
5 жыл бұрын
I'm finally in a relationship where I feel loved and respected. I'm just constantly worried that something will go wrong; that someday I'll overreact to something and he won't be able to forgive me. He keeps assuring me that everything will be fine, but I just can't shake the fear that he might just get tired of dealing with my mood swings someday.
@annailles8625
5 жыл бұрын
I was worried about this too and then realized I might have Premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
Try some positive self talk... so you can calm your fears. Also, look for evidence to support that things will be okay, instead of looking for things that prove it will go wrong. Because I am guessing you only have evidence that supports how great it is :) xoxo
@iridiansanchez8617
5 жыл бұрын
I think what you said first is key! If it is a great relationship and he seems so reassuring after sharing this with him, just enjoy it and be grateful of where you're at. Take things as they come and relax knowing that at the very least you're with someone who really cares about you and you of him. Live in the now and try lessen the importance of those worries. Wish you luck 💙
@syahirahabdullah3210
3 жыл бұрын
As Matt Boggs often said, "It's hard to screw up with the right guy." :)
@theboringkaren
5 жыл бұрын
For the longest time I never understood why I struggled to have friendships/relationships (though I also pushed everyone away) and only recently have understood it stems from my parents' relationship and learning I've been codependent most of my life. It's been really uncomfortable to understand my part in why relationships fail/don't exist, but necessary to see the patterns. These steps definitely emphasize what I'm learning and serve as great reminders. x
@mattws5784
5 жыл бұрын
How have you been able to get over your struggle of having relationships/friendships?, im a young guy and for years, I've pushed everyone away, particularly more when I'm feeling hopeless, I feel like I can't love anyone, I feel numb and emotionless but I don't believe Ive been like this my whole life, now I'm pondering that I'm asexual too but I never believed I was in the past, I only see myself being alone for the rest of my years but when i was 18, I was happy being with someone, I'm now 24, once my parents have passed, I don't think I'll want to be on my own until I'm 80, I think I'd rather commit suicide
@lilacsandobsidian
5 жыл бұрын
The best thing I learned when trying to foster healthier relationships was learning how to communicate effectively and learning how to listen (really listen). When someone is talking, especially if it's an argument, don't interrupt. Take notes if you have to, so you can ask your questions or voice your concerns when you're done.
@cookie0338
5 жыл бұрын
I feel like I can't form really close relationships...I have good friends but I often feel left out or not close enough if that makes sense. I think that I am doing something wrong but I can't exactly tell what.I would love to hear your advice❤
@isbammoi3358
5 жыл бұрын
I feel exactly the same! I'd like to know as well. Like, How much of it is me, How much of it is something else?
@97indianuk
5 жыл бұрын
Go to therapy and fix this.
@brioche8123
5 жыл бұрын
Scott Smith yup both of my parents were very emotional neglectful. One was emotionally and verbally abusive. I struggle to trust anyone and when I do I’m never completely secure in the relationship. Just waiting for the other shoe to drop
@rainblaze.
5 жыл бұрын
Cookie03 3 you might becoming accross as to clingly or needy without realising it .. this would be counter productve as it would drive people away . dont try to hard give people their own space .. just a tought
@ALu-nq8rf
5 жыл бұрын
I feel the same way, but in a different way. I can get very close to people and hang out for hours one on one, but I realized that because I don't hang out with people often at all they don't really consider me that close. It's not that I don't like hanging out, I just don't like getting together every other week.
@kathleenbarry3067
5 жыл бұрын
Just got out of a pretty unhealthy relationship. Feel like I need to almost find myself and what makes me happy again. I needed this video, thanks Kati! :)
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
I am so sorry you are going through that :( But I hope my video was helpful :) xoxo
@bea4156
5 жыл бұрын
Kathleen Barry So proud of you!! I’m in the same boat and wanted to offer empathy and support for this new chapter in your life ❤️❤️
@benWTL
5 жыл бұрын
I often find the best relationships are the ones where you can casually joke about breaking up and laugh it off. It reinstates that there's trust and you can make each other happy :)
@ordinarytree4678
5 жыл бұрын
I wouldnt like this. It would make me anxious and lost trust with them. Im a worrier.
@abe2935
5 жыл бұрын
I haven't had a romantic relationship in about three years because I felt like I just needed a break. The last relationship was really suffocating, and stressful. I feel complete, peaceful, and fulfilled on my own too hence the no rush to jump back into another one. This is a helpful video in that the questions you were asking in the beginning really need to be something I ask myself, and explore a little more. I've already thought about all those tips you gave (even before this video ever existed) so I feel like I've been on the right track on my own about how I want to approach my next relationship. This applies to friendships too, and I'm just working on it all at my own pace. Thank you 🙂.
@FriendlyNeighborhoodUnclePete
5 жыл бұрын
You truly save people's lives with your knowledge and the videos you put out. Thank you for being so awesome. You are a lifesaver. :)
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
Awe :) So happy to help!!! And thank you for taking the time to leave such a sweet comment
@teo8291
5 жыл бұрын
you are such a kind person, i swear you deserve the world. thank you for all the help you give, you are amazing
@moskalmg
5 жыл бұрын
The single dislike is from a divorce attorney. Real talk though, this is impeccably timed for me and I love having a video that I can compare myself to and validate myself with.
@gbecks3672
5 жыл бұрын
I’ve always had toxic relationships until four years ago when I met my fiancé. We now have a baby boy. I’ve never been able to keep friends or find good ones. My ex boyfriends were abusive. My bio mom was a cho mo and my dad was never around. So childhood was hard, but I’ve worked hard to get where I am now. I’m still learning.
@heathercombs8170
5 жыл бұрын
I just let a very toxic relationship, i will not be dating for awhile. I really needed this video. Thank you so much! You are very helpful.
@lea856
5 жыл бұрын
This is very helpful for my clients thank you.
@MrAgmoore
5 жыл бұрын
I liked the jazz music at the end. Chilling with Katie.
@rakctus8311
5 жыл бұрын
The more I think of it, the more dependent I was on my SO. Lost interest in many of my old hobbies, and other stuff, the relationship was unhealthy. I'm sort of glad we broke up, especially because it was on good terms. But I understand how important space is for my next.
@mommyteacher2961
5 жыл бұрын
"We are all whole on our own." YES! ❤️
@Beanasaurus
5 жыл бұрын
I am extremely needy and dependent, one of the reasons my relationship of almost 4 years was a toxic one, and one of the reasons the almost 4 year relationship ended/is complicated now. We both still love each other and want to be with only each other, my question is: Can we still be together while we both work on our own mental health problems, and while we both learn how to have a healthy relationship? If anyone who reads this can leave the name of a video/article/anything that you think might help, I would greatly appreciate it❤ been going to therapy for about a year now (since the break up/break started) and am a lot better, but both me and the "significant other" are scared to officially start the relationship again because neither of us want to hurt each other again! An acquaintance even told me that it wouldn't be possible for the s/o and I to be in a healthy relationship because the first almost 4 years became a toxic one. Just looking for some guidance and advice❤
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
Beanasaur check out Kati’s video on Codependency! kzitem.info/news/bejne/wH-lr4WIsn9zoH4
@annailles8625
5 жыл бұрын
Counseling
@kirbymoffatt9610
5 жыл бұрын
Romantic relationships is fast becoming a popular topic with my therapist. I want one soooooo bad.
@caller145
5 жыл бұрын
I'm in a long distance relationship for 4 years. Me and my boyfriend are very happy together, the only problem is the distance. We both have things keeping us put in our own countries. Also I don't speak his language and he doesn't speak mine so finding job in other country would be challenging.
@freethegays
5 жыл бұрын
How do you guys communicate if you can't speak eachothers languages
@caller145
5 жыл бұрын
@@freethegays in english. He is german and I'm from Finland. Both of us have english on a decent level making communication effective enough :)
@silentshadow2957
5 жыл бұрын
"Trust" is an issue that comes up in our conversations a lot. There are girls who are really friendly to my boyfriend even to the point of flirting with him, and he has a problem with telling them off. He's too nice about it. When we first spent time together several months ago and started developing feelings for each other, he was in a relationship at that time, and after a lot of thought he broke it off to be with me. So in the back of my mind, there is this lick of fear that he's going to become close with one of the friendly, flirtatious girls, and that he'll leave me to be with her. When something comes up, he gets mad and says I don't trust him. I do trust him, but... I can't trust the girls that throw themselves at him. (What if I'm not good enough? What if they're better than me in every way? What if they make him happy when I no longer can?) My insecurities get in the way. As you know, it's really really unhealthy to have these thoughts in a relationship, and it puts tension between us when I see something I don't like. So how do I move past that? I know he loves me and he wants to spend his life with me. I know that. So how can I put my mind at ease for good and just enjoy the time we spend together, and only think happy thoughts of him? How can I love him to the best of my ability and give him space to be himself, without worrying or overthinking? I want this relationship to last. The problem is me...
@3451namine3451
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you. I needed this little push, I will give him a chance to let him know the real me without my walls up. My past relationship shouldn't be projected on him.
@Turbogirl90
5 жыл бұрын
Can you make a video on becoming someone with a secure attachment? Maybe for each attachment style, how do we become more secure and less clingy/avoidant/disorganized?
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
turbogirl check out Kati’s playlist on Attachment! kzitem.info/door/PL_loxoCVsWqzffYFNAe-xMdoAiQiE3H78
@GwenniferNeedsMusic
5 жыл бұрын
I'm sooo glad that shane made me find you. Your videos are great and so informative, especially for me as an psychology student. You perfectly highlight which questions are important.
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
Kweanhifear Welcome to the Community!
@epiphanysoulguidanceb756
5 жыл бұрын
hi Katie!!! & Yes, u say that, I'm sick abt ppl saying "our clocks are ticking, too" Yes, my thing is that idw to be in a mentally or physically abusive relationship.
@flowerbirdinsky4038
5 жыл бұрын
My parents both have undiagnosed BPD and fought, in my past relationships I've had black and white thinking so they were great first and then they just bored me and I wanted out - also didn't like who I became with them. A raging BPD. Am now married with kids and working with a DBT therapist to have a family worth being a part of. Showing mutual respect is quite a challenge when you've never seen it up close. DBT technique GIVE is the best for this, DEAR MAN GIVE FAST. That's what has helped me.
@Diana8Matienzo
5 жыл бұрын
I love your content, Kati ❤ I recently had my second-ever breakup, and this makes me feel hopeful that I may find a life-long romantic partner. When I look back, I recognize that my relationships have been extremely healthy 😊 It makes me happy to see that I am very capable of having wonderful, respectful, and overall healthy partnerships ❤
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
Diana8Matienzo sorry to hear ur going thru a break up right now. That sucks! Anyway, ck out Kati’s video on this, it really helped me after my divorce! kzitem.info/news/bejne/poCnn4Z5sGeLn3o
@Diana8Matienzo
5 жыл бұрын
@@_just_TK I haven't seen that one! Thank you! ❤
@GuidingEchoes
5 жыл бұрын
Very helpful advice. Thanks Kati!!!
@TrinaMadeIt
5 жыл бұрын
#truth. The forgiveness was so hard for me. My husband forgave me, my friend forgave me, I couldn’t forgive myself. It was many years before I could and my god it’s been so much better since I have.
@TrinaMadeIt
5 жыл бұрын
Scott Smith the hardest person to forgive is yourself. It honestly took me 6 years to do. In the same token, the most important person to forgive is yourself. I’m glad you found a way to move forward :)
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
Trina Made It Kati has a great video just on this! kzitem.info/news/bejne/t4lp0aSBoXeFgo4
@bemeeklezvelveeta6719
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for what you do for all of us, the hard work and research you put into these simply to help people is so awesome ❤❤
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
Awe of course!! So happy to help in any way I can :) xoxo
@Amada__
5 жыл бұрын
Good refresher!
@manuelgonzalez6139
5 жыл бұрын
I really needed to see this. I’m at a crossroads with my unhealthy relationship from the past nearly 4 years. Communication has really withered down between us.
@raywood8187
5 жыл бұрын
I love the smooth outro music. Right now I have the best close frendship ever with a lady 800 miles away and we are both happy the way it is.
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
Yay! I am so happy for you :) xoxo
@DontWantToBeRecognized
5 жыл бұрын
Woo hi 🖖 over the years your videos have been SOOO helpful/informative/non judgy and just 100% 🌞 I'm so happy more and more people are discovering this channel - it could change their life 👏👏
@maggiekgreen
5 жыл бұрын
These are awesome tips, thank you so much! Something I struggle with is having something to communicate to my partner but overthinking the way I should communicate it, and worrying so much about if it will hurt their feelings or make them upset. I worry that if I have a criticism that I am asking my partner to change, and that’s not ok, right?
@shannonjaffray225
5 жыл бұрын
Haven’t watched it yet but it’s like you’re reading my mind right now 🤯💕
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
I hope it's helpful :) xoxo
@rachelheflin0584
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks kati cuz it really has hit close to home. Especially when my dad gave him someone who hurt me mentally.
@giovannicappello3116
5 жыл бұрын
kati can you please make a video about how to behave when your partner suffers from depression? I wanna be a good and supportive boyfriend but I don’t know if I’m doing it right thank you 💖
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
Giovanni Cappello Kati already has a great video on this! kzitem.info/news/bejne/0319u2Wuq2dqdmk
@syd9231
5 жыл бұрын
Kati, how do I have a healthy relationship when me and my girlfriend have mental illnesses? My girlfriend just got out of the mental hospital and I want to be able to support her the most i can, while also taking care of myself. I dont want to break up because i care about her a lot. Thank you!
@bstarmiskus2600
5 жыл бұрын
my dad abandoned my mum sister & I when I was a baby. So I’ve never really had experiences with my dad, of course I used to visit him when I was little and stuff. but all I know is that my mother told me he and my mother fought, a lot which lead to him leaving us with nothing. I’m 15 now and my step father is a lot, he used to be quite abusive and all I can really remember from when my mother met him is all fighting. Fighting, fighting, fighting. That’s all I remember from when I was smaller. I’ve had so much trouble with all of my relationships, friends or even romantic interests. I don’t quite know how to fix it, but I’d like to do it now. If anybody has any advice I’d like to hear it 🙂 (I should also mention I’ve been through 17 councillors, and 1 psychologist. Because I’ve attempted suicide and I’ve ran away from home so many times)
@abbeyc4865
5 жыл бұрын
I grew up with my parents fighting all the time as well. My mom was extremely abusive, physically, verbally and emotionally, although to the outside world she was the most amazing person in the world. I grew up in a world of Jekyll and Hyde. My dad was in denial and just made things worse. When my siblings and I would cry about the abuse he would say that we weren't trying hard enough to please her. The world did not believe it either. My mom has a lot of degrees, is very smart, involved in the community and so she was able to manipulate a lot of ppl. My relationships were always dictated. My mom would ban me from friends she didn't like and tell me who to be friends with. She would even stop her children from having relationships with each other. I had such a hard time developing any real relationships because of that. I was afraid my mom would find out and I had such a low self-esteem from the abuse that I wondered why anyone would even want to befriend me? I would think there was something wrong with them! Things kept getting worse until I turned 18 and was able to go for therapy. The only thing that helped me develop a real, normal, healthy relationship with others was first learning to have a healthy relationship with myself. I hated myself so much that I ended up sabotaging relationships without realizing it. I didn't know what a real relationship was supposed to look like and I wouldn't fully let other ppl in because I didn't accept myself for who I was. I was ashamed of the bad behaviors that I used as coping skills and didnt want others to see what a bad person I really was, because then I wouldn't have friends at all. I went to therapy and really put everything into it and nothing worked. I now know that my therapist was totally inexperienced, but I didn't know that then and it was extremely frustrating to me that I finally tried to trust someone and it wasn't helping. I took a break from therapy and turned to KZitem instead, where I found Kati's channel. I learned that what I had thought was therapy was just making things worse and she gave me the motivation to try again. I started with a new therapist who was able to help me accept and love myself which in turn helped my relationships with others. Please go talk to someone if you can! It's the best thing you can give yourself! Xxxx
@annailles8625
5 жыл бұрын
Counseling. I've been in and out of therapy for over eight years, best decision my mom ever made.
@bstarmiskus2600
5 жыл бұрын
Unknown Name ..wow thank you so much for sharing that... I don’t even feel like I have a good response for that. Just thank you for telling your story, it was comforting to me. Although we aren’t sharing identical experiences the trauma is still similar. I’ve grown to accept the way my stepfather is. I’ve been through quite a few councillors and a psychologist and I’m hoping to find another councillor soon. I will definitely take your advice.
@sophiayou5634
5 жыл бұрын
Hey Kati, could you please make a video about anxiety for a persons future. Thank you.
@adrianaavila8853
5 жыл бұрын
Very helpful and good reminders.im glad and grateful to have found your channel.
@fordcottoniii8972
4 жыл бұрын
Kati, thank you! I'm still processing all of you have said, but it is so insightful & helpful. I wish I would have known this stuff even 10 years ago.
@Sweeney333Z
5 жыл бұрын
Can you make a video on addictive personality? Is that a thing? Sure feels like one for me... I'm addicted to gaming, food, alcohol and pot (it's legal here). I often over do it. I'll game way too late or binge eat or binge drink, smoke....
@mindlessthenie
5 жыл бұрын
Your videos are amazing! Thank you for making them. I am learning this for myself right now. I am learning that I played a bigger role in my "toxic relationships" than I thought thanks to my Borderline and now that I am healing I am now working with and getting along with my boyfriend not against him and we are no longer toxic. I am no longer 'needing' him and now wanting to be around him. Following my doctors' suggestions and living on my own is helping me get past that codependency and allowing me to learn how to think as an individual. And that first point is the most important one to me. I never knew until very recently how much baggage I carried from how toxic my parents were and still are. I am in the process of healing a lot of trauma and my psychotherapist said: "it took almost your lifetime to traumatize you, what makes you think you can get over it overnight?". How true is it that time heals?
@j.p5352
5 жыл бұрын
Hi there, thank you for uploading these videos, they are extremely informative, especially when one is self-reflecting.
@scottj719
5 жыл бұрын
First few dates are a lot about figuring out if what's normal for them is normal for you.
@larag1764
4 жыл бұрын
Setting and respecting other's boundaries is also v important - maybe this falls under the category of showing respect. Love your videos Kati ! Best wishes from Australia 🤗
@chrissaunders4703
5 жыл бұрын
Agree with everything you said there Katy especially that people change, we're not the same person now the we were 10 years ago and that can lead to a relationship breaking down.
@juliawilkie8420
5 жыл бұрын
TRUST: trusting yourself is the best thing you can do and trusting others will allow you to have good relationships
@flowerbuster2598
5 жыл бұрын
Your so helpful thanks!
@lazyartist1984
5 жыл бұрын
I was sent here by thomas sanders I'm also here cause he mentioned mental health so this is perfect
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
Lazy Artist Welcome to the Community!
@LittleLulubee
5 жыл бұрын
I have no friends or family. My family was abusive, and people have been jerks to me. I don't trust anyone.
@NaomiBuskila
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you! I absolutely see how I am using my marriage as a place for correcting the lack of communication in my family growing up. And I'm very grateful to be working towards change. Great video!
@brioche8123
5 жыл бұрын
Im starting to worry that my friendship is turning toxic with my best friend 😞. She experienced some childhood trauma and it still really affects her. She gets into degrading and toxic relationships with guys and is very deeply in denial about it. But she always gives me hard time about who I like and none of them are actually bad people, so it’s like she’s projecting or something. She sees in my relationships what she never sees in hers. It really breaks my heart to see the way she’s treated and I don’t want to nag her. I want to be supportive but it’s really emotionally draining to listen to her stories about guys. And she never wants to hear me out. I don’t judge her for struggling to cope or not seeking out therapy, i really get that. But I don’t know what to do and it does strain our relationship. Does anyone have advice on this?
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
U A ck out Kati’s video on this! kzitem.info/news/bejne/13eZvX2IrqGLhZg
@brioche8123
5 жыл бұрын
TK wow! Thank you so much. I never would have thought to watch that video. I’m going to finish it but so far it’s really resonating and I know it will be helpful. I never fully accepted she was toxic to me until recently, because I do care about her. But jeez it’s been tough lately
@AFREEMIND369
5 жыл бұрын
Self must be mindful and learn how to respond and not how to react
@derekbehrens9744
5 жыл бұрын
As always, thank you so much for your advice, Katie!
@taxiuniversum
5 жыл бұрын
I have a question: I live without a relationship since all my life. I feel that WOULD I have a relationship, I might be exactly like the guy you described: Someone, who NEEDS his partner. I heard already before that this isn’t a good place to start a relationship from. Thing is: My parents never seemed to have loved me. They didn’t comfort me. I never felt SAFE with them. Already as a small child, I felt that extremely powerful longing for the loving qualities of healthy, „good“ parents. So now, when I am faced with the possibility of a relationship, I sort of feel overwhelmed. As if I could not be loving - and as if I could not be RECEIVING love, either. Can this be fixed?
@cookie0338
5 жыл бұрын
Love your videos❤
@LeslieLorane
5 жыл бұрын
I'm at the point where I really want a relationship but I'm afraid that I shouldn't. I'm terrified of accidentally being codependent on someone. I am unable to work and although I would never rely on them intentionally or ask for money, I'm afraid that anyone my age would see me as a burden they need to help and not as an adult. My mental illness voice tells me I'm *not* an adult. It says - No Job? No money? No worth. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I'm very empathetic and prioritize openess and communication in the few (2) friendships I have. I'm self aware and affectionate. I talk about my problems when I have them and try not to overwhelm people with my issues. Yet... I'm dying of loneliness. I don't let myself seek anyone because I don't want to be a bother to anyone while I'm stuck in this place. I don't think I can deal with this loneliness anymore. I'm a huge romantic and seeing happy couples used to make me smile.... Now it's eating me up inside. I know I should be able to be one of those :single and happy: people before I look for someone But I've been single my whole life and sad/happy is way more convoluted than that for me. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I just wish the loneliness would go away.
@annailles8625
5 жыл бұрын
Drop in improv classes, try to get involved in your community, volunteer. See if there are any support groups.
@jackpullen3820
5 жыл бұрын
Remember, in relationships you will almost always reap what you sow. Ask yourself, am I treating others the way I want to be treated? And lastly, if I have all basic needs fulfilled I must choose wants wisely. That means simply people vs. things, I choose life over things because that's what we are made for.
@Imtrying_girl
5 жыл бұрын
I find it interesting that you mentioned the kinky sex stuff. Many people don't talk about that. But you should be upfront and brave enough to communicate about your sexual likes and dislikes. I learned this the hard way. My fiance and I have a lot of differences with sex and it does cause a lot of issues.
@ali_rabbits
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for your videos Kati. They have helped me a lot over the past year ❤️ sending you love!
@claudioconstantine2983
5 жыл бұрын
Do you mind explaining the differences between shame and guilt?
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
Claudio Constantine Kati already has a great video on that! kzitem.info/news/bejne/q2hoq3-QhaCpeYY
@larrelll
5 жыл бұрын
Look up Brene Brown! She does a whole video on the differences between shame and guilt. She has her PhD in Social Work, so her work is really valued in the social work/ therapy community.
@claudioconstantine2983
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks to both of you, really helped a lot.
@mylifejen6372
5 жыл бұрын
Guilt is good. Shame is bad. Guilt is feeling bad about what you have done. Shame is feeling bad about who you are.
@Hannah-pi2yr
5 жыл бұрын
I'd love to see more relationship related videos!
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
Hannah Elias check out Kati’s playlist on this! kzitem.info/door/PL_loxoCVsWqyhwivZ5xbaV98XsbqoTRo8
@hoodie704
5 жыл бұрын
I´d love a video about long distance relationships!
@kelsieslagle9177
5 жыл бұрын
Needed this video right now, thanks Katie :)
@TheStefif
5 жыл бұрын
Nonviolent communication helped my relationship a lot
@thedogpawsquad
5 жыл бұрын
I'm glad you made this video! Now I can improve my relationships with people! c:
@n.oneimportant5
3 жыл бұрын
I love Kati's videos. Because her approach is largely based on DBT (of which I am a student and has helped me immensely), I really relate to what she says and how she says it. That said, this is very triggering. My BPD has run amuck in my relationship. Divorce is imminent, and frankly, my head is still spinning from it to such a great degree that I don't even really know what happened or what a healthy relationship is supposed to feel like. If other people can't make us happy - if we're not supposed to "need" someone - then what is the point of the relationship? I think I would feel less special and really disappointed if my partner didn't need me. This is all so confusing. I know Kati wants to help bring clarity, but I guess I just can't relate. But I guess it doesn't matter anyway as my experience with my marriage has left me feeling that I simply can't trust anyone anyway. I need to feel love, but love has also broken me to such an extent that I don't even know who I am anymore. Hell of a thing: to be 45 years old and not know who you are. Sorry for blabbering in your comments, Kati. If you (or anyone) has read any part of this, thanks for your time. Take care, everyone. 🤎
@kay-st8kj
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for making these videos, you make me feel so much less alone and you actually help me unlike my actual therapist. So thank you 💛
@Paine010
4 жыл бұрын
I have learned my lessons from relationships, at a young age. All, but one cheated on me and left me. That whole saying "It is better to have loved and lost then to have ever loved at all." is BS. I would rather to have never loved at all then to have ever known the pain of loss. To me, that is the worst pain in the world. To you give you an idea, the last relationship before my last one, I ended up in the hospital because I tried to kill myself. I’m 36 and just got out of a 5 month relationship. I get really attached very fast and get hurt very easily, which is why after my last one, before I was 19, I refused to date, ever again. So, I put my walls up high and thick and was cautious of where I would go out to. Somehow she slipped through a crack and eventually realized we don’t click, wasn’t mean to each other, just didn’t click. It made me realize that I either just don’t know how to be in a relationship anymore or cant and don’t want to be in one anymore. Either way, I have put my wall up so high and thick now that no girl will ever get through them and even if they can get to the point of testing them, as I do not go out anymore. I go home and go to work and refuse to hang out with anyone anymore, even friends. Its the only sure way to protect myself. Basically, I don’t want to be with anyone anymore. That is the conclusion I came to. I don’t blame her, I blame myself for not having my walls high and thick enough to prevent myself from getting into a relationship. Which is why I have made them thicker and higher. Like I said, I don’t go out anymore. My walls and precautions worked for 16 years, with what I have done now, they should work for the rest of my life. No relationship is worth the effort or risk.
@jerikaa.7865
5 жыл бұрын
so well spoken and helpful kati, always amazing. ♥️ thank you for your insight!
@lindahoang5123
5 жыл бұрын
This is fantastic!!!
@LoveJesus1987
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this 💜
@NicoleFlothe
5 жыл бұрын
I was looking on Health under my library online book program and found your Are you Ok? on audio book. Listening now. Funny thing was yesterday I was looking at CBT on youtube and found your video and was going to listen to it today. Then I was reading about your book and searched your name on KZitem on a different tab and realized I had your video open on my other tab. Guess I'm meant to listen to your therapy tips. Thanks :)
@jackelinebermudez7158
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for all the useful videos you do !
@hadleyullmann1329
5 жыл бұрын
so well-spoken, kati! i got so much out of this video, thank you.❤️
@madisyncarter4479
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for another great video. Have a great day
@Katimorton
5 жыл бұрын
Awe of course!! So glad it was helpful :) xoxo
@Fruityflootloops
5 жыл бұрын
Got this notification in my Eating Disorder therapy place waiting for my clinician lmfao.
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
Emma Drew yay! So proud that you’re getting help! ❤️
@jessn.2665
5 жыл бұрын
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
@Victoriascarn
5 жыл бұрын
Emma Drew good luck, you got this! ❤️
@Ladyblue7620
5 жыл бұрын
I simply love you and your videos. You have taught me a lot. ♥♥
@olv2512
5 жыл бұрын
Best of the Best Kati Morton
@ResessPiecess
5 жыл бұрын
always helpful. always fun to watch :) thanks you times a million
@latusalihyasalim4872
5 жыл бұрын
I'm single and happy AF
@samschor
5 жыл бұрын
Do you have any tips for communicating in relationships? I have always been terrible at communicating how I’m feeling and why, especially when I am upset. This leads to me giving the silent treatment (or being short) most of the time. Ive tried to keep myself from doing this (it’s immature and I hate when I do it) because I need them to know I’m upset but can’t bring myself to communicate it.
@em5353
5 жыл бұрын
Kati! Can you do a video on how to work through anxiety related to driving? I was in a car accident over a year ago & I still get anxious most times I drive. This makes it harder for me to focus & be fully present while driving. I’m also too anxious to drive long distances, over bridges, etc. which makes it harder for me to fully function/be able to get around. Thanks!
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
emily the best thing to do is find a good therapist. They can help you work through the trauma and maybe even do some EMDR or exposure therapy
@shannan061296
5 жыл бұрын
❤️❤️❤️ thank you
@cassiebozeman2599
5 жыл бұрын
Kati thank you so much for the helpful videos. I feel so much more like “me” after being exposed to you and your advice! Thank you for being so great 😀❤️ My favorite thing that you said was that we are whole & complete on our own. This is so true and very liberating. My own tip for my other relationships to be healthy is to try to keep God as my source for all of my needs, that way I’m not dependent on others but for only what we are intended to be. Kati you are the best. ❤️
@Jc22ny
5 жыл бұрын
Another Great and easy to understand video! Thanks for sharing Kati! sending you lots of good vibes and love :-)
@alexjeffers5407
5 жыл бұрын
What's your opinion on electroconvulsive therapy for depression? Also TMS?
@_just_TK
5 жыл бұрын
Alex Jeffers Kati already has a great video on ECT!! kzitem.info/news/bejne/kX5o0YV_qpdnq6w
@sharondevine9322
5 жыл бұрын
My grandparents knew each other 3 weeks before my grandpa proposed to my grandma and they were married until the day he died and she never remarried because she felt like she was betraying my grandpa.
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