Thank you for this very timely video. I actually NEED all 5, and have struggled with all of them this past week. Even when you know your lowd has trouble with thought processes, you can get into situations where you revert to your normal thinking and reacting. AND, since some of this was going on (in retrospect) Loooong before I knew that he had dementia - the pattern was set. Dementia was not even on my radar. I do know now - and need to apply all of these helpful tips. Wish me luck!
@cheryl9032
4 жыл бұрын
Carol Biggs I feel this too, I get aggravated because although I know his thought process has changed...but mine hasn’t and I also revert to my “normal “ reactions..
@zramos1000
4 жыл бұрын
This is so good to know. The other day my husband asked me "what happened to our car"? We gave it to my grand. Im sometimes get so mad. And I am so sorry for that.
@izdor71
8 ай бұрын
Dr..million thanks to you ❤❤❤..All yr tips really match with my daily lives with my Dementia mom..😢😢😢😢. The tips help me alot. I'm really feel very tired, but I love my mom so much😭.
@maxandmedw1223
4 жыл бұрын
Hi, I am new at careblazers and taking care of mom. We have not had a diagnosis and stage yet however, her PCP and I believe it to be the case. Once the COVID 19 calms down and safe for mom, that is one of the first things we need to do. I have been taking your advice for a month now in reference to a calm voice, not using the word NO!...Unless mom is wanting to purchase a movie from 30 some years ago...lol! Your advice has paid off . So glad you are here for us and want to say "thank you!" for all you do. Just in this past week, I was in a hurry a few times and immediately, mom was kinda nervous and thought I was either yelling at her or said she was doing something wrong. I was doing neither and just in a hurry and moving and speaking quickly. I immediately changed the subject to something fun for her to see and also apologized for being so quick with things. I realized after watching your video, mom was more in tune with my facial expression and quick movements. That will be my challenge for the week. On another note, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved dog. And see from a video you have a young new pup in your live...congrats! Bet that German is keeping you busy.
@athenak631
4 жыл бұрын
Enjoying the videos and the tips u offer....can i ask you do one about how to manage the behaviour ofyour loved one with dementia if they have to go into hospital/have a procedure done? How would u prep your loved one, manage their confusion at being in that setting, help them understand what has happened after the fact etc? Any tips would be appreciated.
@jozeflak1868
4 жыл бұрын
Dr Natalie thank you for your time and for your helpful video stay safe. It's so true the facial expression and tone of The Voice is the key I noticed that it makes a big difference and telling her I love you as much as possible in a day hugging her she feels good and safe. And correcting our LO it doesn't work.
@DementiaCareblazers
4 жыл бұрын
You are doing so great! Sending love to you and your beautiful wife.
@lembann7838
3 жыл бұрын
This Doctor knows how to help us, Many Thanks to Her..we appreciate the time she puts into her video's...
@jeanhaefner2028
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for these wonderful videos. I have learned so much from them. Your voice is soothing and caring. I’ll do better because of you. One of the first things I noticed about my husband was the fact he watched my facial expressions. There are many things I can improve on just by listening to you.
@syreetaw.4201
4 жыл бұрын
When I answer my mom wrong and she gets angry, I realize I need another refresher course of these videos. Priceless resource! Thank you.
@christinecobo2755
4 жыл бұрын
Best advice ever! Having trouble keeping my loved one in bed at night. Took away evening water and it seemed to help a bit. Yes we use 3 mg melatonin. Going to try working on my response too.
@blessed7262
2 жыл бұрын
Very helpful thank u my Family needed this ❤️
@theodoresmith1735
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you, you’re tips have been a lifesaver
@DementiaCareblazers
4 жыл бұрын
So glad they are helping!
@ToniInSussex
4 жыл бұрын
I'll do your challenge. I'll be at your q&a. This is sooo difficult for my mum in law and I. (The dog is cool with her❣) My asthma is playing up more, headaches and daily indigestion, which I don't typically have. It's time for classes otherwise I need to leave. She'll be put in a home. I believe I can do this, but do I want to? I want to run and get a job anywhere else right now, but she needs me. Am I in too deep? I'll listen to your vids today. Thank you❣
@jeancaucutt2485
4 жыл бұрын
Just happened today. My loved one decided he should look for a job. So I asked what kind of job would he like to do. We went through several jobs he used to do and then I was able to point out some ducks swimming in a pond we were walking by. He was distracted and never mentioned a job again...today any way(: Worked out well. Thankful. Thank you!
@lifewithal3266
4 жыл бұрын
I'm glad you experienced a "win" today. Of course that is attributed to the great way you handled it. Sounds like you are a veteran caregiver. :)
@teresadoyle1396
4 жыл бұрын
Natali, you nailed it on all counts! They most definitely watch closely to your eyes/facial expressions and if you try to correct them in any way they then become fixated on whatever the topic was that had them upset. When my Mom becomes agitated or upset about something that I know isn’t real, I try to steer the conversation to something relatable about her/my childhood that makes her happy. Once we chat for a bit about happier things, I find that very quickly she has lost that initial train of thought and often doesn’t mention again what initially upset her. Thank you for doing what you do, your info is so very helpful and encouraging. Stay well!
@dsmccleer5088
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Dr. Natali. I’m going to work more on avoiding trying to reason with him. In your caregiver class I’ve already learned that, but still fail as it is a constant battle. With Lewy Body, I wonder if it is different than with other dementias? But this is the one I’m really going to work on this week! Thanks again for all you do.
@thelmadennis4339
2 жыл бұрын
Great interventions with examples. Thanks 😊
@oksanajamieson4329
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you 🙏
@vivianbunch1963
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing this much needed information.
@maryjune6601
2 жыл бұрын
thank you, for all your care
@DementiaCareblazers
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you too 💖
@sonialomeli9431
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you what a BIG Help
@maribellelebre6809
4 жыл бұрын
You say "if safety is not an issue", but what if it is? Hiw does one safely contradict someone with dementia when it really matters - ie COVID restrictions?
@thecat614
2 жыл бұрын
Yes that's difficult. I catch my Dad trying to open things with a sharp knife. If I have reacted and taken things off him he tells me to shut up and sometimes hits me....its like you have to think of every possible scenario before it happens.
@universalseeker
4 жыл бұрын
Good morning. Recently I have began to follow these tips and find they are very effective. I will let you know in a week of the diffetences I see. 😀
@universalseeker
4 жыл бұрын
Im a bit late in my question. How do you deal with the personality of a LOWD who is toxic?
@linda3375
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video it has been very helpful.
@DementiaCareblazers
2 жыл бұрын
Glad it helped!
@terriking6905
4 жыл бұрын
I use as many of your tips as possible. Biggest problem is his insulin, sometimes he refuses to take it or other times he double doses. He has a pump. Any id3as?
@tucsontom7244
4 жыл бұрын
I see my wife going downhill very fast now. I tend to see her as she was a month ago. But that's not the case. Sometimes I get so frustrated (because I forget where she is now) and I lash out in anger which violates the steps. Thanks for bring them up.
@DementiaCareblazers
4 жыл бұрын
It's so hard. Just when you get in a good rhythm of how to respond and handle situations, your LOWD has another decline and you are back at square one. Hang in there.
@dowfarley7707
4 жыл бұрын
Im in the same boat Tom. Lets try to do our best.
@maryanndeas6581
4 жыл бұрын
@@dowfarley7707 amazing advice thanks so much 😊
@drgsharabi
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Dr. Natalie, How do you deal with someone who is stubborn... How do you convince a loved one that they need a shower (my dad has moderate stage dementia). Thanks,
@thecat614
2 жыл бұрын
I have had the same problem with my dad I have a calendar and put on it what needs to be done in the day and bath is one of them. He looms at the calendar every day to see whats on. He feels better reading it rather than me telling him. He won't shower and can bath himself so at least I can get 3 in a week. I also leave fresh underwear on his towel because we would argue about changing clothes. I sneak into his room when he's in the bath to get any clothiing that needs washing. Otherwise he just puts the same things on every day or hangs them back up in the cupboard.
@richardline2697
4 жыл бұрын
Great video, by the way! I’m going to save this one to use as a reminder later!
@mabelmah7261
4 жыл бұрын
So glad I found you. Been bless by your tips. Thank you. Mabel from Singapore
@dtsells1
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much I plan on focusing on my tone this week.
@thecat614
2 жыл бұрын
Thankyou it's really helpful I'm going to try the facial expression and tone of voice.
@DementiaCareblazers
2 жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@hildanewby7250
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for your tips! I’m so bad at making faces, especially when I’m stressed. I also often use a stern voice when I feel rushed. I will definitely be more aware of expressions and tone of voice from now on!
@doriagutierrez3744
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for all this information. I will do my best :)
@realrough
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for your precious advices ❤ Have a great day !
@lifewithal3266
4 жыл бұрын
Challenge accepted. :) I really am going to focus on these five things. On paper it all makes complete sense and some even sound common sense, but when you're an exhausted caregiver I know sometimes we struggle to have patience and do what we know we should. Nevertheless, I love your practical tips and it motivates me to try and do better.
@DementiaCareblazers
4 жыл бұрын
You got this! No one is perfect. We are all human. The fact that you are up for the challenge tells me how amazing of a Careblazer you are. Keep it up!
@colinlyne1660
4 жыл бұрын
Hi extremely helpful video thankyou so much
@dianewebb2689
3 жыл бұрын
Do you have any videos on moving a loved one from an assisted living community to a completely different one?
@noshjo
4 жыл бұрын
My Mom, who has Alzheimer, and has been staying with me, because my Dad is in the hospital. Not only does she has Alzheimer, she is severely hard of hearing. We have tried for at least 10 years for her to get hearing aides. My Mom has tried a few different types of hearing aides for a short time, but will not use them. My last try was to just get her a hand held amplifier, with ear buds. She used it for a bit, but will not use it either. It is really hard to do any of these really great tips that Dr. Natalie is suggesting, when everyone has to shout really loud at her to just hear basic things. Mom cannot hear a conversation or it is hard for her to be a part of a conversation, because one cannot have a conversation continually shouting at her...it get's exhausting, and my voice gets hoarse. Although she has had two assessments at the geriatric clinic over several years; which they all agree she has Alzheimer, and I agree as well; I can't help but wonder how much is it the Alzheimer, and how much is it the hard of hearing, that is causing her not to understand. I was wondering if anyone can help or have some tips to help me out?
@echase416
4 жыл бұрын
Hearing and auditory processing is not just in the ears, it’s also represented and ‘mapped out’ in the auditory brain area. This also shrinks with dementia. After a while, they start losing the ability to process 1 out of every 4 words heard - they can’t make sense of it. The brain can shrink by up to 2/3 with dementia. Isn’t it incredible to think that their brain copes as long as it does? :)
@pamager2283
4 жыл бұрын
Emma Chase thank you Cheryl and Emma. My husband refuses to wear his hearing aids also. Very frustrating and irritating. If I speak loudly he asks why I’m hollering. Most of our conversations are soooo frustrating that sometimes I don’t talk to him because it gets me nowhere and it’s not worth it. So I want to say that Emma’s answer explained things to me that I wasn’t aware of and Cheryl’s question was one I have been wanting to ask
@Ren-tn6xz
3 жыл бұрын
Is her vision ok? Get a small dry erase board and write simple sentences in large print? “Do you want orange juice or coffee?”
@brianmcdevitt8239
4 жыл бұрын
All good advice but so difficult to follow consistently. Thanks anyway; we can but try....
@DementiaCareblazers
4 жыл бұрын
You are human. All you can do is try. No one is perfect, you just do the best you can and hopefully not beating yourself up to much in the process. Hang in there! That's why these tips are "simple" but certainly not "easy."
@karenmedina9156
4 жыл бұрын
My sister and I take care of our mother who's been diagnosed with alzheimers/dementia. My mom is constantly picking her face & arm. The doctor said to put white gloves on her, but she refuses to wear them. Do you have any suggestions?
@Scatter23
8 ай бұрын
Can you add another video with more examples? I had a patient tell me, “You can leave now or go home” I don’t know how to reply to that? 😢
@katherineevans1636
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this very valuable information. I have learned so much. My mom was diagnosed 5 years ago. Try so hard every day and after seeing this I get that I have been doing some things wrong. It's so hard. It breaks my heart. Again, thank you for your guidance.
@Catmoore60
3 жыл бұрын
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Caring for someone with dementia is brutal, emotional, time consuming and exhausting. If you miss from time to time, take a few minutes to collect yourself and try again. With my mom, her memory bubble ‘loops’ about every 15 min, so often she will have forgotten if I had a glitch. Sending support your way, and hoping all is well.
@gaylemagee8291
4 жыл бұрын
Great suggestions - I struggle with my LOWD facial expressions and his tone of voice upsets me.
@Brme-hb6yy
4 жыл бұрын
It would be if the Dr. answered The questions posted by this anxious careblazers
@olivetteheslop8798
4 жыл бұрын
What do I do when your love want to leave home all the time saying this not his home everyday this is big problem for me everyday, thank Olivette
@janetfishwick8887
4 жыл бұрын
I need all of these tips. Mother is 92 and has stage 4 Alzheimer's. She is deaf but refuses to wear hearing aids in her bungalow. She is unable to maintain a telephone conversation and clearly understands little or none of its content. Mother asks repeatedly when is she going out for a meal and has absolutely no awareness of this pandemic on a daily basis. Mother asks where her car is. We stopped her from driving 5 years ago. She forgets to take her medication,when she has eaten a meal and has no idea of time, day, month, season or year. Mother reacts violently towards any suggestion of Home Help and her defiance, stubbornness and delusion are stupifying. Mother now has 2 options.1) Accept home help or 2) Go into a Home. We are working towards option 1, but the present lockdown is a huge barrier.
@echase416
4 жыл бұрын
Instead of asking for *permission* to bring her a home helper, why not just bring over a ‘friend’ who helps (without asking permission) - who is really someone you’ve hired to help. ;)
@janetfishwick8887
4 жыл бұрын
@@echase416 Mother is anti social and cannot cope with anyone who is not family. The Home Help we have arranged for her is an attempt to get her to engage and socialise. Mother has now had 2 weeks of help and is still refusing the most basic of tasks to be done e.g. preparing her sandwich for lunch,emptying the kitchen pedal bin, cleaning the bathroom floor. We, her family, are frustrated and angered at her uncompromising attitude. I am now looking into Care Home provision.
@martinpercifield3337
3 жыл бұрын
You are not alone. I'm new to this language I MUST learn! Almost every example Dr. N gives is my experience. Down to the accusation of infidelity. And now, I run into so many people who have had a LOWD. I'm learning from theirs as well...
@meredithkat07
Жыл бұрын
My father is in early stages where at times he is totally out there and times he seems normal. He wants to do things like call everybody he has known for the last 60 years and tell them he saw a ghost. He asked for his social security card because he needed to give it the operator from a number he got off the internet that was surely a scam. When we tell him that’s dangerous you never give anyone the last 4 digits of you SS# or other things he has violent outbursts that he knows what he is doing. He comes up with something new every day and my mother is about to lose it. He has congestive heart failure and hasn’t left the house for 3 years then one day he decided he could drive and snuck out of the house and drove 40 miles and got lost. Thank God I put a tracker on his phone. We are afraid he is going to hit something or someone but he continues to drive. He is going to be 83 in April. What do you do in these situations when the person still can be normal acting at times but we can’t reason with him even in lucid moments. Thank you for all you do. God bless!
@garyedwards1108
Жыл бұрын
My wife is always wanting to pack up what we have and take it to her apartment which there is not one, we have lived in this house for 38 years, how do I handle this, when I say that this is our house she doesn't believe me and how do I know this. I'm afraid that she will get violent when she is confused
@erinmurphy6588
3 жыл бұрын
My Mama is blind as well... its so hard!!
@philomenaclarke449
4 жыл бұрын
My sister is in the hospital at the moment been through the medical tests and final one lumbar puncture. The dr suspects dementia I am so fearful and saddened by this. She has never married and at 73 has always been independent it breaks my heart and more so as we’ve always been close now she hates me tells me to get away from her and that she doesn’t even like me sent threatening texts to my son and members of the family she’s going to kill me. I’ve applied to be her guardian her financial affairs are in a mess as she thought she sold her home and bought another when in actual fact neither was finalised. With COVID-19 things are so difficult right now. Although the dr hasn’t exactly said she has dementia the signs are there one day she’s aggressive then she’s back to her normal self. I know I have to face this I would love to keep but I have an 83 year old husband I’m 76. Is there any advice I’m still holding on to the thought that this is a temporary nervous breakdown the thought of her going into the foggy world frightens me
@kristencurry3715
2 жыл бұрын
All common sense🤷♀️....Most issues I come across with my mom aren't talked about in any of your videos. Such as giving her medications She thinks I'm poisoning her and will not open her mouth. If I try to put it in her food it never seems to absorb in her system properly. Or,restlessness and how to keep her in bed at night so I can get some darn sleep,ect.
@johnnielemky6968
4 жыл бұрын
We have to raise our voice so my mil can hear and she will not wear hearing aids. She says we are yelling at her but we really aren't. Very frustrating
@Catmoore60
3 жыл бұрын
I hear you. My mom is constantly denying she is hard of hearing, but is constantly asking ‘what?’ so that we have to repeat ourselves. On top of repeating ourselves many times a day because she has forgotten something. It can get tiring. Also, she cannot hear dialogue on the tv unless the volume is turned pretty high, which is a problem because the commercials are typically louder than the show, and they scare her. I try to mute all the ads, but sometimes I miss one. Then she says ‘Why is it so loud? I’m not deaf you know.’ Something I learned recently is that hearing loss affects the difference registers (low/bass vs high/treble) differently, so maybe that plays into it.
@karenhudman1217
4 жыл бұрын
Our loved one is convinced we are stealing from her. She can talk for hours, giving her evidence that it is true. No amount of explanations convince her we are not stealing from her. Any suggestions?
@thejrc561
3 жыл бұрын
Before I knew what was going on, I was looking into plastic surgery I felt hurt by his comments of how angry I was based on my expression or tone of voice. It almost never had anything to do with anger! I thought that getting fillers in my wrinkles and in my lips might help! I thought I must be getting unacceptable in my appearance to my husband. He often said “You look so much prettier when you smile!” Ever try to smile all day?!
@karikells
4 жыл бұрын
does anybody here have tips re: facial expresses now that wearing masks is vital? i'm looking for a mask with a transparent window, but... any other options, ideas, or thoughts?
@susanrock9247
4 жыл бұрын
I really need to work on all five. My tone of voice is the one that needs most practice. Corrections r next!
@richardline2697
4 жыл бұрын
It’s hard to believe someone who used to drive a Nissan Sentra! (LOL)
@moniquedonna1979
3 жыл бұрын
I'm always stressed 😔 so it's hard to show your not !
@DementiaCareblazers
3 жыл бұрын
Hi Monique. You are not alone in feeling like this! Being a caregiver can be incredibly stressful. I have done several videos on caregiver stress and self-care that may be helpful. One that may be particularly helpful is: kzitem.info/news/bejne/sKl8n653f6BnhqQ I wish you the best of luck in your journey!
@donnab6995
Жыл бұрын
So tired. Working through living with a Father with dementia and he hates me. My tone? Resentful!!!
@lindaowens65
4 жыл бұрын
At what stage does totally off the wall start? My husband has just had memory problems but now he is saying really wild things and having delusions. He says he sees people, has lights flashing before his eyes, & is even forgetting how to eat at times. This has only happened in the last 3 days. My group leader says when things like this happen it could be possibly be dehydration. He won't go to the Dr.
@SarahQuilting
4 жыл бұрын
My Mom had a similar issue with my Dad. Luckily she has a on call nurse who is helping her deal with his issues. It turns out that one of his medications has side effects. So definitely see about the medications he's taking. With covid restrictions being creative in getting the help you need is vital. That being said changing his medication didn't totally get rid of the paranoia.
@echase416
4 жыл бұрын
Sudden change in their mental health status can be “Delirium”. Call your LOWD’s doctor or nurse and ask if this could be Delirium... Sometimes it can be sundowning too. Dr. Natalie mentions this in another video. She says it’s like the brain is tired from the day’s stimulation and then has a overload or “meltdown”. It tends to happen at the end of the day or early evening, hence the name.
@jaykelly936
3 жыл бұрын
We try to redirect and we think we are throw topic in 10 minutes it starts all over.
@ArizonaWillful
4 жыл бұрын
I am trying to understand the mental processes of people who gave this video a hand-down.
@martinpercifield3337
3 жыл бұрын
"You're a liar! I hate you! Go drive your car off a cliff! You're not a Christian! You said (insert the worst thing you could say to you wife of 42yrs)". It hurts even though I'm starting to understand. But it still hurts. I'm a warrior, so I need to practice these tips. That strength has become OUR enemy. I see the exact behavior in my LOWD, as a result of not employing these skills. Sitting here, I weep as I read all of the things happening to her with very little help from Drs here Found help here! Now I need to be a sponge. Thank you!!!
@islandwitt1
2 жыл бұрын
🙏👍🏻❤️
@gabbysandoval3425
4 жыл бұрын
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏👍😄.....
@navywife68
Жыл бұрын
My god, Im so exhausted I shouldn't be here .. I don't want to do this anymore. I have a grandson on the way and I want to spend my time with him, not HER.. She's negative and a Debbie Downer ALL THE TIME..
@kristienschreuders3393
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for these excellent tips. You have such a kind heart. Kristien from Australia 💕
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