“It is not your fault you’re in pain but it is your responsibility to fix it. And it sucks. And I’m sorry.”
@janetholmes
7 ай бұрын
But we dont have to go at it alone
@mlamulimakhula3189
6 ай бұрын
❤Thank you for this
@D3vilMayCry99
5 ай бұрын
Made me cry because I realize I do this and I just feel like a POS but then I know it’s how I was emotionally neglected as a child and I realize this is something I was born into and I learned to survive doing this, BUT I can also learn to change this because I’m tired of pushing the people I love away by doing this when I genuinely think I’m being loving.
@no_more_free_nicks
2 ай бұрын
@@D3vilMayCry99 Hi, I feel compassion for you. I'm a DA and I pushed so much love away in my life. I alway wanted to have a family, and it didn't happen because of this. A quarter ago I had a situation that was exceptionally hard and I broke down, I could not avoid my feelings anymore, I was weak and multiple traumas were triggered hard. I'm now in therapy, and it works well for the first time. I'm happy because I can feel the future will be ok!
@freezo244
18 күн бұрын
@@no_more_free_nicks I’m very happy for you!
@lokeshwaris6190
Жыл бұрын
Summary - 1. Self trust 2. Boundaries with yourself nd others 3. Learn to identify unfulfilled needs 4. Learn to divorce fault from responsibility 5. Open direct line of communication with yourself Thank you
@malek6610
Жыл бұрын
THANKS A LOT FOR THE SUMMARY!
@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_Ier
11 ай бұрын
Thank you. I don't have 20 minutes for a clickbait pic and important info.
@megankingston7698
11 ай бұрын
@@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_Ierthe vid does give examples and can be useful if you find tangible context helpful
@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_Ier
10 ай бұрын
@@megankingston7698 bullet lists are what's up then.
@paulamachado3879
9 ай бұрын
@@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_IerThis video is totally worth anyone's time. So much precious information.
@Touay.
5 ай бұрын
I'm now 50 and dealing with cptsd. the whole 'love yourself' and 'heal yourself' thing is so hard. one video said I should look at my child self and comfort them and say you love them .... but I feel nothing but disgust. note to self .... don't post comments on youtube videos when you are in the middle of a flashback - and thank you Heidi for helping understand what these feelings are!.
@brianhalverson7140
4 ай бұрын
I know what that is like. It is a long process to wellness, and I'm not done, but I have found it is worth it. I'm learning DBT now, and it's helping. I'm 56. It's never too late.
@Touay.
4 ай бұрын
@@brianhalverson7140 thanks
@phillipoverpeck5395
Жыл бұрын
Your videos are helping me realize I’m not crazy…after 30 years, I’m finally learning how I’ve been expecting the people around me to uphold my boundaries…while continuously breaking them myself…
@chd1401
6 ай бұрын
so recognizable!
@GoFbassist
5 ай бұрын
So same!
@sandraritchie6512
Ай бұрын
I too never taught boundries always had my boundries merged or ignored. I feel lots of grief and shame over my actions that have come from my behaviours. Not my fault ' I fell like everything is my fault and when ovetwhelmed of feeling like that it is their or its fault '. Where to start? I guess it's with me.' Not my fault,' I have to learn to believe, ' My responsibility I have to learn which are my responsibilities and the skills. I feel so insecure I cannot even say the words I have in me.
@loquaciousjd
Жыл бұрын
For me showing up for myself is self care like showering, skin care, using essential oils, keeping my car and apartment organized, eating nutritious foods, strength training, taking my psych meds, and getting a good night’s sleep. I still have a long way to go, but I’ve also come a long way in the last year to grow and become more self aware. Your channel has helped a lot with that. Thanks!
@marcisalac
10 ай бұрын
Dearest Heidi, you are a truly godsend. The inner child of the 44yo man started to weep with real tears. Thank you for your help, compassion and the path of your life you decided to follow. You give me the hope to be a whole person again. Love you ❤❤❤.
@user-qw5bk1sg6d
Жыл бұрын
" you never have to beg someone to follow your boundaries...." Heidi the way you explain is pure genius. Thank you!
@curious_gage
Жыл бұрын
Something I have noticed is this process takes a while but overtime I started to notice a separation between my emotions and my thoughts. The key is to recognize that your thoughts and feelings actually operate independently, not in unison. It’s hard to explain but I like to compare this objective awareness as the “higher self”.
@annetolno-foster926
Жыл бұрын
That’s a great explanation
@amirakhalida2292
11 ай бұрын
The "if it's my responsibility then it's my fault" speaks so much to me. In my attempts to not be a victim and take things in hand I became so hard on myself because I always thought that Everything wrong in my life was my fault .. since am taking responsibility ... realizing that there is INDEED a difference is sooo relieving ❤🙏🏻
@arielariel4257
Жыл бұрын
You make me look at myself with compassion. I am in pain for all the times I’ve abandoned me.
@StillWaterLife
2 жыл бұрын
Heidi, I just discovered you a couple weeks ago. Of all the experts on Attachment Theory I've seen on KZitem, you are the best at breaking this down in such detail, and most importantly, at providing actionable solutions. I'm realizing the extent to which I abandon myself on a daily basis, or don't truly stand for the person I want to become. This video is fantastic. Thank you!
@Claribel42
2 жыл бұрын
Me too. I found that Heidi is the best breaking this down
@berumenberumen2649
Жыл бұрын
I agree, u know ur stuff maybe because ur fearful-avoidant u understand both sides. Thank u!! Love u! (anxious speaking haha)
@aroshakottege9238
Жыл бұрын
Very true
@hotarulibby974
Жыл бұрын
Exactly!! She's so clear and she has solutions! So many other videos just drone on about the problem.
@pasmetha
Жыл бұрын
I completely agree. I'm actually able to do work on my healing because she gives actionable solutions. Before I was so lost on how to heal myself.
@Birdflyinghigh98645
7 ай бұрын
I feel like a bomb dropped. 😮 "It’s not my fault, but it is my responsibility." That just shifted my perspective on so many things. For me, it seems like the answer to a lot of questions as to why I can not change certain unhealthy behaviors. It might even be the way out of co-dependancy. I often feel bad for not doing things that should be done, like keeping the house tidy or taking care of myself. Knowing, that even though it is not my fault that dust falls on furniture or dishes get dirty, but it is still my responsibility to get things clean again is so freeing to me. It seems like in the back of my head I always had the excuse that it is not my fault, therefor I should not have to fix it. But that is not how the world works. I always felt like it was somehow unfair and wrong, that I had to take responsibility, so I really struggled doing it and was ashamed at the same time, for not wanting to take responsibility. Now I realize, I don’t need to shame myself for it. But I do need to realize that it is not unfair or wrong to have responsibility but that it is self-love, loving others and the foundation of freedom. I am really happy to get practical steps that are doable, instead of only learning more and more about what went wrong in my life. It is very helpful to know and an important first step but it is not enough to change. Learning comes by doing. 😊 Thank you so much for this video. You do tremendous work Heidi! ❤
@climbermatt556
3 жыл бұрын
Miss Heidi, I've found this to be particularly challenging in practice as an ENFP and I think what you said towards the beginning about words of affirmation and being a "f$#% boi" towards yourself is spot on. You're really onto something here ma'am and I greatly appreciate your content. Thanks for what you do, cheers. -Matt
@NoticeMeSenpaiii
3 жыл бұрын
Your level of self awareness is really admirable. Do you think you can do a video about how you got to this point? I feel like most people (including myself) run on autopilot without being fully aware of what we are doing or why. I don't know how to go about starting to develop accurate self awareness.
@CotelioGrahamn
Жыл бұрын
For me... introspective meditation, and identifying the different parts / motivations / energies / needs in my self, labelling them, and talking to myself and my other parts *as* them. People tend to get a little weirded out at that concept of talking to / about parts of myself as though they're separate entities from me, and then allowing that sense of "I" assume the identity of those components for the sake of speaking back to myself, (Oftentimes simply holding them both simultaneously in different parts of my mind, rather than constantly switching back and forth.) but it's been a really good tool for both discovering what's active in my subconscious, and therefore, bringing it to consciousness, or self-awareness, as well as for (agonizingly slowly) reshaping what's active in my subconscious in the first place. There are a lot of good tools out there for asking yourself "Why _____?" and getting a useful answer, be it journaling, meditation, blogging, chatting with a friend, or anything else; we're all different, and that also means we all have to figure out what works for us for ourselves...
@pure-pisces9980
Жыл бұрын
Me too...I'm 55 & so wish that I was so more aware...
@PanelsWainio
Жыл бұрын
I like Dr Gabor Mate about authenticity
@smallgalaxy7509
6 ай бұрын
Try picking certain activities to do mindfully to get in the habit of self awareness. Such as mindfully brushing your teeth or mindfully washing dishes, treat these activities like a mindfulness meditation.
@Greenwitch_Garden
Жыл бұрын
As an anxious avoidant I struggle with knowing both it’s not my fault I am this way and it’s my responsibility to transform myself. For a long time I blamed myself for my behavior because that’s what everyone else did before I was aware of this attachment style and why I became this way. I also was searching for love because I never really had it, but I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing because I didn’t have the proper lens to view my childhood with until I learned about disorganized attachment. Finding channels like yours has given me validation and hope for myself. It’s astonishing that years of therapy completely missed all of this. The answers were right there… why didn’t they see it..?
@sunnyadams5842
Жыл бұрын
Ikr? I was misdiagnosed as Bipolar. For 36 years, since I was 14 ( formally diagnosed @ 21 which was the DSM criteria) I lived under that label, was therapized, medicated , hospitalized, and made into a psychotic mess.I was dying. Or trying to every few weeks. Two years ago I happened to learn about CPTSD and instantly knew that had been the problem all along and it was fixable!!! Which I did and am still working on, but I'm so much better already! Why nobody knew about Trauma, I do not know, either! I got a master's in counseling and was a therapist for awhile and didn't learn about it then either, though. I'm so glad we were blessed eventually 😂
@davidn2875
2 жыл бұрын
You have literally saved people. Bless your soul. I personally have been through narcissistically toxic childhood. So this has really added onto my current level of narc busting know-how; especially the responsibility/fault demarcation. Growing out of childhood wounds knowing that a normal parent was supposed to care for the child but instead abused, really rattled me; made me confuse the two. Thanks for validating the emotions and making the double distinction.
@elletuppen4844
7 ай бұрын
Thank you for another brilliant talk. I agree on the positive affirmation not going far, but rather to arrest any negative self talk or criticism. Im about to turn 70 and can honestly say it takes millions of tiny steps regularly until the results show up and one feels total self support…to the place where you feel this is how you have dreamt of another human ultimately loving and treating you. In other words, simply being your very best friend. That accountability as well as a time limit on this, is key.
@CheezyC
8 ай бұрын
A friend recommended your channel to me, and it took me a while before I actually watched your content; I went in, thinking it was a bunch of rephrased, watered-down information from what I've heard in the past, but it hasn't been. I feel so seen and heard in every single one of your videos, and I'm learning so much about myself that every day, my mind is blown over how accurate my findings seem to be. Nonetheless, I'm commenting because towards the end of the video, when you apologized for what people who have grown up in horrible conditions have had to go through and what they are responsible for having to fix, it felt so genuine and kind, something I've yet to hear in another person's voice. Thank you for your videos, they truly do make a difference in people's lives.
@sebastiendeloumeaux7372
Жыл бұрын
I am totally at the point where you were, being very frustrated about all the people saying I need to love myself. If I knew how I would. It made me feel broken because I felt I should be able to do it instinctively if nobody takes the time to do a step by step guideline on something so important and it's just not natural to me. Thanks so much Heidi. Your videos are reaching me in my darkness and confusion and giving me hope and guidance. I love you. ❤
@jellybingbara
Жыл бұрын
I never write comments, but I had to jump on to show my gratitude for your videos. Thank you SO much Heidi, I've been binge watching a lot of your videos after my recent break up and your videos have been helping me tremendously as an anxiously attached person. I recognize how my actions may come across to other people and how they might feel as a result. Sometimes, I would wonder why my relationships would always end the same way when all I am doing is loving and giving love. But I recognize that yes, it is love, but it was also my growing dependency on them causing them to leave me. I have learnt so much about myself, and started reading the atomic habits to create better habits so that I become more confident and more self-reliant. I remember I used to journal and log three things I was proud of myself for that day after my other breakup. It was extremely helpful for my mental health as I was very depressed and even getting out of bed was difficult. So I started very small, like getting out of the house, taking a walk for 5 minutes, saying hi to my coworkers first (lol), etc. And gradually, my 'goals' or 'challenges' got bigger and bigger and it really helped me get back on my feet. Eventually, I stopped doing that when I got over my ex-bf and felt like I could stop, but I realize that I should have continued. Now, after this recent breakup and watching all your videos, I want to restart journalling and make it a part of my life. I want to be secure and I want to love myself wholly. I have not respected my ex's boundaries and I feel bad but what is done is done and there's nothing I can do but to learn and grow from my mistakes so that I don't repeat it again. I am not over him yet and it's been difficult letting go of him but I am hopeful that as I work on myself it'll all get better. I've watched many other videos on anxious-attachment styles but the way you describe and give examples just hit me differently and it's been very eye-opening. Thank you so much
@RishaBond
Жыл бұрын
This internet stranger finds your journey inspiring!
@jellybingbara
Жыл бұрын
@@RishaBond thank you
@sadiaarman363
Жыл бұрын
I am older than you and I thought I had done pretty much smart inner work on myself and that I know the land. However I find you give me new perspectives and fresh insight that is helpful indeed. You have a knack for counselling and you have as a person a quality of soundness, simplicity and innocence that is very pleasing indeed. So thank you!
@Bombardiere2
Жыл бұрын
I just want to say thanks. I’m starting this journey to overcome my insecured attachment, and is hard, really hard. Listening to you saying that it’s sucks no to be loved as I deserved, riped a tear out of me, but, was also liberating. Thanks again.
@emmadeneransome
Ай бұрын
Heidi, I really love the work that you are doing here. As a fearful avoidant, I really resonate with what you are speaking to about it being very difficult to access grief due to the hardness I have had to maintain most of my life… Can you make a video about learning to access and soften into and release the grief that is held for those of us that have had to maintain hardness and rigidity to cope?
@teresavalenza9609
5 ай бұрын
Mmm doing things for yourself, not for an outcome, but “because you said you would.” 🤯🤯🤯❤❤❤
@truthl0ver777
Жыл бұрын
Your channel is going to blow up. Thank you for teaching me all the things my mom couldn’t. Very much-needed, critically-important information. Blessings to you 🤗❤
@aneczi
3 жыл бұрын
I love your perspective, your videos are so insightful. I have an impression that you really did the work for yourself first, and now you're sharing what you've learned. I reaaally really respect that. I'm sending you a lot of love
@heidipriebe1
3 жыл бұрын
I feel really seen by this comment, thank you! And sending a lot of love right back
@ginpepper
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing Heidi. You are well versed & articulate. I like your videos!
@AnneW-og6dl
2 ай бұрын
Have the 5 minute journal on my bookshelf. I took it off the shelf today. Going to start tomorrow! Started journaling this week at therapist’s advice (I am a fearful avoidant) and have been watching many videos for self-help. I find the theme mentioned many times in your videos is recognizing the feeling in my body when a boundary gets crossed. It happens super fast almost like a reflex. I am hoping journaling and doing the 5 min journal will help me be able to stay regulated. Thank you for handing me some more tools for my toolbox. ❤
@justanothergaycowboy
Жыл бұрын
I've been struggling a lot with coming to terms with the fact that if I don't heal my cptsd I can't live the healthy life I want for myself. I've watched a lot of your videos over the last week and cried a ton because looking at myself in this way is so painful. When you said not to be a f*ckboy to yourself I genuinely laughed for the first time in months. You are making this journey so much easier for me. Thank you for making these videos and making me laugh asking the way.
@megankingston7698
11 ай бұрын
You’re not alone mate, we’ve got this 👍🏼, the fboy comment made me rewind for another giggle
@suzanne2680
Жыл бұрын
Heidi is a revelation. These videos have been life-changing for this anxious attacher INFP in love with an evolved avoidant, especially, somewhat surprisingly, this one. Thank you, Heidi. Love this Canadian!!!
@howtosober
Жыл бұрын
Sooooo good, thank you! The self-accountability piece is huge. You did a great job making the equation between what would make us feel love and trust for someone else and how that translates to our own self love.
@SB_McCollum
Жыл бұрын
Okay, now I understand Jocko Willinck’s radical responsibility paradigm.
@nadiairvin4744
Жыл бұрын
I really really enjoyed this video. I've recently started watching your more recent content and this video in particular feels like an open authentic conversation. When you said that you were sorry that the anxious attachment style didn't receive the love that they deserved as a child I cried. Thank you for your coaching and support while we work towards a healthier relationship with self.
@yongiesparkle
3 ай бұрын
Honestly, thank you so much. I can't thank you enough for this video. Always heard of superficial advice like "love yourself, trust yourself, it'll all work out, " but no one answered the HOW. This video is phenomenal. Thank you.
@jasonuren3479
4 ай бұрын
14:58 crossing your own boundaries because you have an unfulfilled need for peace.
@awakening-games
2 жыл бұрын
Heidi, thank you for the most accurate simple breaking down of how boundaries, needs, attachment wounds all play out, and how to heal this dynamic ! Your videos soothe my soul ! 💜💜💜
@dumilegugushe7523
3 ай бұрын
These are practical and attainable self-love goals. Clarity is important on this subject and I got that from this video. Thank you.
@nomadak723
10 ай бұрын
I'm literally taking a page full of notes as I listen to this! ❤
@thomasmoffett3234
11 ай бұрын
Seriously, Heidi. You are a God send. This video resonated with me so much. My therapist actually recommended positive affirmations for me. While I appreciated her intention, I immediately knew that I am not a "Positive affirmation" type. This video gave me a more realistic road map for how to love myself.
@sethtenrec
11 ай бұрын
Need a better therapist
@keshakellogg5995
11 ай бұрын
Good for you knowing yourself and having a keen sense of what you need!
@kitkatcasey427
11 ай бұрын
I love the point about being able to keep a promise to yourself for [__] amount of time and then evaluating how well it’s working for you and if you want to set a new goal! I have a tendency to create new habits for myself with no clear end dates or check-in dates, just “I’m going to do this thing every morning!”, and I think taking off the pressure of the unspoken “yep, every morning for the rest of my life!!!” will help make it easier to not change my mind and reason my way out of the habit as soon as things get difficult!
@lindsayhilsenbeck7760
10 ай бұрын
Exactly. I have created long lists of healing practices that realistically all together are just tooooo much. I will choose just one or two to focus on with end dates to consider progress. Then choose what I will focus on next....feels like taking off tight shoes :)
@LadyAlfhild1
Жыл бұрын
Thanx Heidi. In all the studies I'm watching about personalty types and ennagrams ect. I found myself totally lost. How you explain things esp this topic has finaly open my eyes where to freaking start! Thank you so much❣
@lancerobinson8364
6 ай бұрын
I love listening to you speak. You are so non abrasive, understanding, graceful in your thoughts of others and helpful. More like you please.
@liteyear0
7 ай бұрын
Excellent put as always. Journaling has helped me tremendously. I’m a product of childhood emotional neglect and two years into my healing work. The sneaky thing about CEN is that it’s so subtle, yet causes so much confusion and pain. You can’t just look at one single incident, because they will all convince you you’re exaggerating and/or crazy. It’s not until I pieced the puzzle together that I saw and realized - I did the best I could. I’ve been asking myself daily for decades “what’s wrong with me” and blamed myself. Not anymore. However I recognize that I have more work to do with grieving the life I never got.
@daniellelafrance4593
3 жыл бұрын
YOU HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE
@21Casey50
7 ай бұрын
Heidi I love your talk on having a healthy relationship with yourself. Well done! I am a fan. I have some work to do after watching this. Thank You! Self- Respect is Joy!
@alwaysCHItee
8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for such a detailed road map on how to build a relationship with myself. I feel like you have answered SO many issues/questions in my life that have previously gone unanswered and made me feel hopeless. There's a nuance to your teaching style that I simply gravitate towards. Maybe it's your simple/relatable illustrations, idk. I knew I needed to do internal work but truly didn't know where to begin. After 5 min - I paused and grabbed a notebook and have a plan. FINALLY! Thank you for this....💙
@Mani_wellbeing
Жыл бұрын
Have just come upon your content, and i am binge watching. You are extremely lucid, descriptive without elongating on a point for too long, give such succinct examples, are full of positive , non judgemental clarity and have such a gift in your flow , while not undermining all the work you have put into presenting these videos nor am I in any way not acknowledging your life experiences,that went towards this. Am incredibly thankful for each of your videos, there is a lot to take in and will be watching some again ,taking notes and conciously will make some changes with more self awareness and above all , will renew my commitment to self love in more tangible ways .Thank you so much , Heidi 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💟💟💟💟💟
@erinb9647
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Heidi! I admire your videos, however, I feel as this one positively take the cake!! I loved how you pointed out ways for us to improve how we can love and motivate ourselves into becoming better versions of ourselves. :) :)
@samuelwilliamsjoy9673
7 ай бұрын
I cannot explain how much you are helping my healing journey. I really cannot thank you enough for everything you've done to help people ❤
@martymuzik
Жыл бұрын
This 'relationship with self' 5 step is great work. Well explained and actionable. Thank you. I made copious notes and action items on all 5, and the mental check-in/journaling is genius.
@EvolvingElegance
2 жыл бұрын
Your videos have saved my life honestly. I’m soo grateful for these videos
@PanelsWainio
Жыл бұрын
Just got to the morning journal type thing; I put off joyful things & push too hard on must-do things that quite honestly, can wait a day ❤🎉😊 I'm having my own at home spa day...thank you!
@prashanttewatia3955
Ай бұрын
Loving and appreciating all that you bring for us 🙏✨
@TheHouseOffice
Жыл бұрын
I love the idea of putting a time limit on the promise you make to yourself. "Let's do it for 5 days and then we will reevaluate." Man I love that.
@joannelewis3390
Жыл бұрын
Be kind to yourself by looking after your health. ❤
@diamon1312
Жыл бұрын
Girrrrl I've listened to so many videos talking about these subjects but non of them was as clear as yours a true gift 🎁 thanks
@Imunologiatododia
Жыл бұрын
It made a lot of sense. I’m passing through it, it’s a lot of information. Gotta learn how to forgive myself.
@rocko34
Жыл бұрын
Oh my god so many things you’re saying are making my brain go DING DING DING 🛎️ you are so spot on with so many of your points I’m so glad I found your channel! Time to binge 😁
@CezaryBiernat
3 жыл бұрын
I have been watching your videos for a while and I just want to say thank you for your work. I think you are onto something good here, just keep at it and be patient with your channel growth. This video in particular is very valuable for me!
@ShaneSullivan-j2d
8 ай бұрын
I think i’m in love with you hahah. Your videos and info found me at such a pivotal time. You’re a blessing and your steady high vibe energy is spot on for communicating some heavy stuff to ingest. 🔥
@clairelouwho3048
Жыл бұрын
Heidi, this message is fantastic, thank you so much. You speak so much sense, and explain things so well.
@jamelquron8750
7 ай бұрын
Uber helpful. I decided to transform my boundary violations and the two types of trap thinking you talk about into positive words of affirmation.
@miniholtta
Жыл бұрын
These tips are so good! Thank you for sharing them ❤ I've always wondered how to do the work with myself and why do I not feel good after talking to myself kindly. I don't think I trust myself at all... but now I can start practicing self-accountability with small steps.
@esrasees
Жыл бұрын
Wow. I always heard this concepts but your way of thinking made it clear for me
@chania80
10 ай бұрын
Another very impactful one Heide. Thank you. That journaling style is very helpful for kind reflection of self. Doing it.
@l4l755
Жыл бұрын
Love this! ^_^ Especially the part about giving small or large attainable promises to yourself, as you would to a good friend :D Thanks
@hjxb
Жыл бұрын
19:20 when she said i’m sorry for my pain that isn’t my fault nor her fault, and that she isn’t even responsible for… it was so healing.
@c.brownell8618
7 ай бұрын
Thank you,Heidi. Your understanding and clear explanation validated my experience for the first time.
@missyq175
8 ай бұрын
Thank you Heidi I wish I would have discovered you sooner but I’m thankful I finally did.
@stacielivinthedream8510
Жыл бұрын
Wow! You are brilliant and speak so succinctly about things I've always needed to learn!!! Bless you and thank you!!! ❤❤❤
@MichaelRyanEpley
10 ай бұрын
Hi Heidi. The more of your videos i watch, the more i realize how close to healing I am. In fact, I think it is time for me to claim that health. The fact is I have shared many, if not most, of your wisdom with either my family or friends and acquaintances. Granted, this fact more truly indicates the unhealthy outward focus I maintained for many years. However, it also means I have the communication with self and even many of the conclusions previously considered, constructed, and concluded. All I want to do now is begin walking out this healing for myself, as opposed to others. I will be healthy in the right time only so long as I turn all that wasted energy, and the obsessive thoughts that catalyze it, into something productive. Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to recognize where I begin and others end because therein lies a great difference.
@normapascuales8230
4 ай бұрын
I just wanted to thank you for your videos. Really feel God has led me to them to help heal my attachment wounds. I pray God blesses you for the help you are sending into the universe.💟✝️
@martun321
11 ай бұрын
Thank you for this. It's been eye-opening for me. I've been feeling that this enormous hole inside of me that desperately wants to be filled with love and acceptance is not my fault. But I didn't know what to do with it. That's why I even tried to downplay it, tell myself that this is me exaggerating/overacting. I lacked the sense of responsibility to take care of it. I objected to it thinking that since it's not my fault then someone else should fix it. I'll be learning to be responsible for handling it now. Thank you a lot!
@shreyaschavan8851
Жыл бұрын
I have been subscribed to your channel but never saw a complete video till yesterday, when I saw the one about CPTSD and shame. Today I saw the one about why CPTSD makes you lie. You are so articulate and your videos gave me so much clarity that I needed desperately. Thank you so much for your insight and please keep posting such wonderful videos. Regards.
@EvolvementEras
5 ай бұрын
After hearing the most horrible and negative things about myself growing up, I do find positive affirmations very helpful though I don’t do anything in the mirror. It’s an app on my phone that I do after I do my morning Blessings and right before I meditate. I just say them aloud as I take my morning medication and go about doing some morning tasks. I make sure to save them out loud so I’m hearing them and after a few years, it really has made a tremendous difference. But I find that showing up for myself has increased, the belief I have in the more now.
@johnyoung1023
11 ай бұрын
Fantastic- I love listening to you and your brilliant videos. Already finding them so helpful and perceptive. ❤ Thanks so much for sharing your experience and knowledge.
@alia176
7 ай бұрын
This was a great video, and explained in a way that made sense to me. Given the fact that you had my attention during my entire commute speaks volumes! Thanks again and keep up the good work.
@MichaelRyanEpley
10 ай бұрын
Lady, you're killing it! Really, just knocking it out of the park.
@jphillips8545
9 ай бұрын
Thanks so much for this, I didn’t know where to begin on my self love journey and now I have tangible strategies. I’m so grateful to you.
@user-qp7ln8kr2r
8 ай бұрын
This was super awesome listen. Definitely a video I will return to. You are saving people with your vids ❤ truly love your content
@rishitagupta1397
2 жыл бұрын
This girl is really one of her kind in this world!
@Redhousenearforest
Жыл бұрын
I am grateful for finding your videos who so clearly gives insight and knowledge on how to grow as a person, how to get your understa dig better. Your videos are like a map through a mighty djungle. Thank You Hedi! ❤️
@hollywisconsin
8 ай бұрын
migwetth, thank you! this video's message is exactly what I'm needing to hear and study right now!
@user-og8mu4ff4m
Жыл бұрын
19:00 It hit me, again, that I have been searching most of my life to find someone to say this very thing to me. In particular, my mother, as she is the first intimate relationship model I had. To this day, it remains an unhealthy dynamic and I just turned 40. No wonder I keep seeking partners similar to her attachment style - subconsciously, I want to recreate with them the relationship I had/have with my mother but have it turn into one where I (manipulate?) them into them providing abundant love, care, acceptance and belonging - what I didn't and still do not not get from my mother. I'll never find that in someone else until I can create that relationship with myself first. This work is never-ending...
@lgroves336
22 күн бұрын
Biggest thing I did to heal is FORGIVE everyone that rejected / betrayed or abandoned me! Meditating for 10 yrs didn't hurt. How to TRUST SELF? ALWAYS keep your word. NO matter what ALWAYS be true to your word. Your word is who you are. Do not lie to self. Then you TRUST SELF.
@herbalvenus209
Жыл бұрын
4:22 - I had a quick thought, building a better relationship w yourself is such a great way to inch your way into attachment style healing. This topic is so deep and complex that it was kinda intimidating and overwhelming for me at first ( 4 years ago) lol now 4 years later I’m slowly inching my way into practical ways of integrating this type of work in my day to day life but it took a lot of detours to feel comfortable to get to where I am & really consider doing this type of work. However, I also recognized that nothing is “either this or that” it’s always been “both AND some”. The work, any work you do for yourself whether it’s trying something and realizing it doesn’t work for you to not trying something because it’s scary but taking a different path and then coming back, is okay. To choose to embark on the inner emotional healing is a great experience, it doesn’t always feel like it but it’s so worth it!
@ashleygarcia7608
8 ай бұрын
I am grateful for you and all your videos ❤ they have been a big help in understanding myself to support myself
@leticiatishlong6724
Жыл бұрын
Impressive how well you articulate and reach out in helping your fellow man!
@coleman6203
Ай бұрын
Amazing! Thank you for another wonderful video with practical and clear steps to get out of your own way! xx
@LaughingLead
11 ай бұрын
Wow I’ve watched a ton of healing video channels this is the best described, thank you
@Dorothy35
11 ай бұрын
Heidi, your natural hair style is extremely elegant. Never change it! ❤
@LavenderHazelwood
Жыл бұрын
This was really helpful. Thank you. Now I understand that a disorganized attachment is fearful avoidant attachment and how you described it here has clarified that for me.
@stevetaddei
Жыл бұрын
I believe in positive affirmations. I tell myself that I’m comfortable in my own skin & I’m at peace with myself. That affirmation is designed to give pushback to my inner critic.
@alisiademi
23 күн бұрын
I refuse to believe Heidi hasn't done plant medicine trips like maybe fungus. How else could she be SOOOO GOOOOOOD. Just minus the part about the audiobook (in my experience that's just focusing on trying to fix an external thing that isn't the root cause of the problem because you're not yet aware of the root cause but still trying to feel better).
@keddy5627
Жыл бұрын
Heidi! Where have you been?! I am amazed at the accuracy and expertise of your material; as one who has been on this journey of self discovery and healing for quite a long time, your videos are the best Christmas gift I have received and the timing is Divine! Thank you!
@scrrification
3 жыл бұрын
I’m binge watching your videos. Very interesting and relatable for me .. also ordered some books you recommended in another video ;)
@prateek-varma
Жыл бұрын
Hiedi, I can't believe your channel just has 66K subscribers. Your explanations are one of the best on KZitem. Thank you for making these videos.
@sethtenrec
11 ай бұрын
Check it 6 months later
@nfeaster4
10 ай бұрын
Thank you for such clear steps to self love. I also appreciated your examples.🙏🏽
@rosemoore473
11 ай бұрын
Hi Heidi just found this vid can’t believe it’s 2yrs old you are amazing thank you look forward to looking at more especially boundaries 💕⭐️🌹
@NetflixTopVideos
7 ай бұрын
Thank you Heidi that was so helpful. I am going to save this and come back to it often to build progress. 😊
@stephanielupercio3168
6 ай бұрын
im gonna watch this video one day at a time- the first Step was already bringing up some triggers.. but good triggers that indicate its time for a change. I dont like I can do it- but that literally step one, taking accountability of every decision I make in my life wether its good or bad. I want a change. wish me luck
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