I think it was Indie Andy who said in one of his videos: "You found out about your autism at exactly the right time for you." Which has been helpful to me. I haven't been diagnosed yet but I've already been experiencing grief. For late-identified autistic people there can be a lot of intense feelings around the question, "Why couldn't I have known sooner?" I mean, I think it's important to grieve when you've lived through so much of your life with a neurological condition you didn't even know about... but at the same time it's important to remember that back in the 80's, when I was a kid (or whenever that was for you), the general understanding of autism was so imperfect, it's pretty fair to say there's no way you could have known sooner. There were no systems in place that would have allowed any adults in your life to notice you were autistic. These ideas are helping me stay positive at a difficult stage in the grieving process.
@Catlily5
2 жыл бұрын
Yes, I grew up in the 80's. I had problems but did well in school so they thought nothing was wrong with me. Until I ended up in the mental hospital as a teenager. But they still didn't figure out that I had autism.
@smicketysmoo
2 жыл бұрын
Have been going through much the same as this, even with/ due to recent Dx. Grew up at the same time and agree that my presentation passed under the radar of what passed for children's mental health provisions at the time. But that still doesn't stop the same "Why couldn't I have known sooner?" questions now. My only answer to that question is that I did know - I just didn't know what to call it. That was the crux of much of my difficulties then and since. At least I have a "label" now and that helps me.
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
I love this idea, I suppose I did find out at the right time for me.
@T1MB05L1C3
2 жыл бұрын
I can only imagine trying to get diagnosed with autism today. I was diagnosed at 3 yrs old (24 yrs ago) and probably wasn't told until a few years after that. But with that being years ago, I don't remember how I reacted when I was told.
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Yes I assume knowing as a child is a completely different thing
@ghill8587
2 жыл бұрын
I’m self diagnosed at the moment (not quite ready to venture into formal diagnostic territory), but I just wanted to add a major positive thing for me is to know that I’m not “alone” anymore. Your videos are so helpful, Claire, and everyone’s comments are so encouraging to read.
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
GHill thanks for saying this, it really helps me keep going. sometimes i feel so unsure if what i am doing is worth it or the right thing.
@faeriesmak
2 жыл бұрын
Being self diagnosed has really helped me to understand myself better. I now know not to push myself in certain situations, to give myself more grace than I have in the last, and to start to get back to the place where I was as a kid where I was totally free to be myself no matter how unconventional. It has explained so much. It has also allowed me to better understand my Mother since I am positive that she is also on the spectrum.
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
I am so glad it has brought you some peace
@orionkelly
2 жыл бұрын
Love this Claire!
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
thanks dude
@leilap2495
2 жыл бұрын
I was diagnosed at 39, with so much to process. I had a job that was very hard for me to do because it had many social and communication expectations that I was struggling to meet, leading to burnout and eventually being unkindly reprimanded and leaving, essentially being bullied out. At the same time, my kid had started show signs that I would eventually realize were indicative of autism (as he didn’t fit the stereotypical / textbook description). A few months later, he was officially diagnosed and in autism preschool. In the meantime, I had presented to my health system for a mental health evaluation. My husband suggested that “something is wrong with your brain.” So, I am seen in the mental health department, thinking they would evaluate for anything involving mental health, but they quickly labeled me with a personality disorder. At first I tried to believe them, thinking they must know best. I attended therapies that they said were in high demand and very effective. They were not. I was getting exposed to the autistic community through my son, and started learning more about other presentations. I finally got assessed privately, and it was such a relief to finally have answers that made sense, that I could look back on my life and better appreciate my unique perspective. If I had been mute, react differently than others, or show some other difference, I had always felt very badly about it. Now I could have more compassion for myself. But I am still sad that I didn’t know sooner, or that at least people weren’t more understanding and accommodating. Thanks for the video. All great points. I’m thankful to have you representing your perspective in the autism community.
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Leila thank you for sharing your experience with us. I am so happy to have you here!
@9crutnacker985
2 жыл бұрын
[ are you still forgetting to mention you do 3 videos a wk after all this time ?! 😄] Good vid! I went down a similar path to you when I self DXed at 56y/o. Point 5 is def the best one for me. Knowing how I work mentally & physically means I can accommodate myself on a daily basis. Not perfectly but so much better than when I was in the dark. I can set my own boundaries & say no to things without guilt or shame. another vid idea: ADHD co-morbidity with ASD. Super common (over 50%) & can really alter the way characteristics of each work.
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
that sounds like a great video i can do some research
@zoebowler5664
2 жыл бұрын
I was diagnosed this month at 47 at first I was relieved, but that gave way to confusion. I’m struggling with the thought my social skills are fake, I knew deep down I was playing along but now it’s official. I also feel weird about the fact I think differently. The people around me don’t experience anything the way I do and it’s made me feel quiet lost and alone
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Zoe I totally get it. I get that lost feeling too esp when I have to navigate social situations
@writerwithagarden
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you to everyone who is commenting. These personal accounts are really helping me to understand myself better. I'm currently trying to understand delayed processing for Absolutely Everything. It's so overwhelming. And ADD + ASD makes a lot of sense to me... I thought I was just slow to get things, but not being able to pay attention and my brain not syncing up with my body makes a lot of sense. There is so much to learn!
@monicalarose7980
2 жыл бұрын
Really relate to this, it is pretty overwhelming, but also, for me, such profound relief in finally being able to put some of the pieces together. If you haven't seen it already, Mom on the Spectrum's video on having both ADHD and autism was super helpful to me in explaining the sense of constant tug of war in my brain.
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Stevie I am glad you are finding some help here. You are very welcome.
@smicketysmoo
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for this one, very timely as I have recently been diagnosed (May) and am still going through the roller coaster. The constant war going on at present (that Imposter is a real pain for instance!) is somewhat alleviated by your honest content. My partner (of 30 years) and I are just starting down the road of further discovery and what life might become post diagnosis, whilst grappling with my undiagnosed past and present denial of diagnosis by family/former friends. Parents especially don't want to face this - and their own strong traits (also have ND brother and ASD nephews/cousins already). Unfortunately - due to the Mental Health Pandemic - services here (in Netherlands) are swamped. So have diagnosis and some preliminary guides but no ongoing therapy. Especially hard as also have CPTSD (partly due to trauma of decades of undiagnosed ASD and untreated ADHD) to contend with also - which has made the social anxiety almost crippling. So thank you so much for this channel and the access to the community that it has afforded me and the support I have found here. You were the first subscription and online chat I have ever participated in when I finally joined social media this year! The thought had always panicked me before. And Porch Coffee Day has become my favourite. And now with extra Kittens! Have a great day y'all 😊
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Smoo I am so happy to have you here!
@monicalarose7980
2 жыл бұрын
I'm getting tested - at 33- for autism on Monday with an expert in the field who I trust. I don't really have any doubt of the results of the test at this point but I think it will make it all more real. In large part finally getting tested is due to channels like yours that helped me see what autism can look like in women. I'm feeling so many emotions. A weird mix of deep relief and self acceptance and grace but also grief. I spent a lifetime carrying a weight of misplaced guilt and shame when I was just doing the best I could all along and it was just constantly misunderstood by others. I also feel a lot of sadness and almost anger that no one caught this sooner and I couldn't find the answers that I was so hungry for earlier. Looking back now that I know more about autism it feels so very obvious - I barely talked from childhood through high school, couldn't make eye contact or basic conversation with anyone despite being off the charts in reading comprehension (hyperlexia), often confused in class by verbal teaching but able to excel if I just learned the material on my own. A really rich internal life that I couldn't communicate verbally but only in writing. And a lot of other things. But because I was still excelling academically, just labeled gifted and shy with no one having any idea or seeming concern about how much I was going through internally. I just feel a sense of loss like I didn't need to carry this sense of confusion and guilt alone for so long, I could have found support and self acceptance a lot sooner. But I know that a very late diagnosis for women like me seems to be incredibly common.
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Monica I hope things go well today for you. I totally understand the myriad feelings you are going through.
@monicalarose7980
2 жыл бұрын
@@WoodshedTheory Thank you so much! I think it went well, feeling some nerves and irrational fears about it (what if I'm wrong about this / what if I'm not autistic 'enough' for diagnosis?) since it will likely be several weeks or longer before we get an official write-up of her diagnosis. There are also a few final steps left since we didn't quite get through all of her questions in the time allotted, so she is going to be sending me some homework to answer some of the final questions. Really looking forward to this process being over and hopeful that it gives me greater clarity and peace going forward.
@buttercxpdraws8101
2 жыл бұрын
I’m glad you talked about this today too. Really helpful, and timely for me. I’m definitely still processing my diagnosis, but the more I do the better I feel. It feels great to finally understand myself. 💕✌️
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
It does feel good to understand yourself
@gardenlove7750
2 жыл бұрын
My thought processing works at higher speeds than I can - speak - type - recognise facial expressions or even remember something that someone may or may not have just said/implied and I quickly lose interest when they make it clear the conversation is about petty crap that should be important but in my reality is not..
@9crutnacker985
2 жыл бұрын
Have you looked into ADHD as a co-condition? it's super common for us auties.
@smicketysmoo
2 жыл бұрын
Definitely should check on the ADHD comorbidity possibility. I have both (ADHD first) and strongly resonate with your experiences.
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
I am interested into looking into ADHD myself
@9crutnacker985
2 жыл бұрын
@@WoodshedTheory I recommend doing so as stats are you are more likely to be than not. Even if you decide your not, keep it open as a possible. Initially I ruled it out but came back to it. I get most of my straight ADHD info from Jessica McCabe's ytube channel 'how to ADHD' esp her more recent stuff. Chloe Hayden, Paige Layle & YoSamdySam are all dual AuDHD ytubers & research their content. There are a couple of AuDHD FB groups too that are also good. It took me much longer to work out I was also ADHD (mainly inattentive type). Impulsivity, serious impulsivity, was the biggest clue for me then responding well to fish oil supplement.
@michelelovesbooks
2 жыл бұрын
I am also so glad that you talked about this, it's been a great reminder!
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
You're the best, Michele.
@carathebard
2 жыл бұрын
Woah wait were you referring to MIT?? I honestly felt less "different" there than anywhere else I've been. Even if I did still struggle with social situations, I felt way less pressure to mask (for the most part). Still in the diagnostic process for autism but I do have ADHD, and it's hard to accept that that diagnosis didn't come until a year after graduating 😅. If I'd known, I might have felt more comfortable asking for academic accommodations instead of silently burning out. I am thinking positively about my future though, however nebulous it might be at the moment. Watching your videos helps, so thank you! 🙂
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Cara, the closest I have been to MIT was the lawn lol. I have an MPhil from the University of Cambridge. I also found that I felt less different among these people as well.
@CathyThwing
2 жыл бұрын
I didn't know what the question was either! Good to have an answer, though. Great tips! Getting to know other autistic people is the best advice! I spent years listening to autistic KZitemrs so I could surround myself with people whose communication styles were similar to mine!
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Cathy, we are all so happy you are here :)
@Thought.I.Was.Clever
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Claire. You talked about all the “normal” things you have done. My neuro-psych refused an ASD diagnosis because of my ability to do these things. This is an additional complication to work out.
@gardenlove7750
2 жыл бұрын
TJ - we have an almost always dry river down here (coincidently called Todd River) that the locals hold an annual boat regatta on even though it is usually dry. Todd River Regatta - Henley-on-Todd Regatta - don't let a small thing like no water stop you holding a boat race.
@Thought.I.Was.Clever
2 жыл бұрын
@@gardenlove7750 a boat race on a dry river…hmm. Are you in Texas?
@Catlily5
2 жыл бұрын
@@gardenlove7750 Are you making fun of her or supporting her? I am confused.
@gardenlove7750
2 жыл бұрын
@@Thought.I.Was.Clever Texas nah, Australia - the Todd River is in Alice Springs, Northern Territory, Australia edit: wiki page en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henley-on-Todd_Regatta
@gardenlove7750
2 жыл бұрын
@@Catlily5 Fun yes and no. I support Claire and all of us - I'd rarely make fun but sometimes I might attempt a joke, I have been subscribed to Claire since her first post, I'm what I call an aspie and I like who I am and love all the community here.
@conoraho7978
Жыл бұрын
More peace to you and all on the autism spectrum.
@WoodshedTheory
Жыл бұрын
Thanks dude
@laurajomorrow9668
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you! Take care and stay safe!
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks Laurajo for your support.
@madberry
Жыл бұрын
I suppose it’s key to realize we can’t change the past anymore. We can only look ahead now with the knowledge of having a diagnosis (whether this is a self diagnosis or a professional one) and live our life accordingly.
@WoodshedTheory
Жыл бұрын
True!
@lynncotto371
2 жыл бұрын
Awesome video Claire, thank you ☺️👍🤛👏💓
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks Lynn have a great day
@passaggioalivello
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Claire. My level 2 diagnosis is a blessing, but the legal recognition path is a bureaucratic nightmare. It's a long path, and they constantly try to invalidate the condition. I don't know if I'll be able to complete this recognition alone.
@smicketysmoo
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Pass, hope all is well. Are there no ASD aid organisations in Italy? Or is it that you must get the recognition before accessing these services? Sorry for your troubles and don't mean to pry. Hope you get help/recognition soon. 💜
@passaggioalivello
2 жыл бұрын
@@smicketysmoo Hi Smoo, thank you for your support. Unfortunately, in Mediterranean countries, mental health still has a poor consideration. Both private and public healthcare are lacking good resources and support. I have to face it alone and I'm not sure to handle the stress and understand every single bureaucratic issue.
@smicketysmoo
2 жыл бұрын
@@passaggioalivello So sorry to hear this, it makes me mad that cover is so spotty across the EU (+world) 😤 I know that in France ASD is not considered "real" for instance. I don't know if you have something like Citizen's Advice, I know that they can sometimes help when navigating the legal side of bureaucracy. There are also some autism support groups, like the PAS (in NL) that may be able to help or give better advice even if in another EU country. Perhaps contact one of these and see if they have some advice. Have a good day and Sterke (strength) to you 💜
@passaggioalivello
2 жыл бұрын
@@smicketysmoo Actually, disability and neurodivergence are protected in a very good way by the law. But, as it often happens, in the past scammers took advantage of it, and today the government has very restricted rules and it tries to deny a legal recognition even to real disabled/neurodivergent people. Mental health is still a stigma here, so there aren't so many resources and, in case, they are often unclear or not so organized. Are you Dutch? Have a nice day my friend.
@smicketysmoo
2 жыл бұрын
@@passaggioalivello Sorry (again) to hear this. I can't believe that it was many who would try to game the system by pretending ASD, I mean - I wouldn't change myself but can't imagine people being able to "fake" it and getting diagnosed often. Just getting a diagnosis can be a long trial - as you know - how could you maintain the façade for so long? Then again I've masked for decades so maybe it isn't so hard. 🤣 Still seems rather unfair (as so much of the world is) to penalise genuine cases because of a (very few) cheats. I am sure the government is just trying to keep its costs down by cutting services rather than using other levers to raise GDP, short-term thinking again. Mental Health is always the first service cut it seems - along with good information resources, probably due to the stigma again. No, I'm not Dutch - just happy to be living in Amsterdam for 20 years with my partner of 30 years🌷🥞😊 I was raised in UK and have both UK and US nationalities and family so visit both irregularly. Have a great day😊🤞
@hollieverafter
Жыл бұрын
Hi Chloe, I'm 50 and just coming to the conclusion thate I'm autistic. It makes perfect sense and I'm so happy to know I'm not 'broken'. Of course, I'm watching YT and learning all I can (my new special interest, lol) from actually autistic folks. It's exciting really, to know there's so much to look forward to. But I don't know how to apply it to my life, going forward. I know there are changes to be made but not how to go about it. Like, what exactly I should tackle first and to what extent, etc. I'm afraid of jumping too quickly and it's stressing me out. That part makes me feel lost. Thank you for sharing your journey and your life.💗
@hollieverafter
Жыл бұрын
Ok, I wrote Claire but my autocorrect hates me and changed it.🤦🏻♀
@WoodshedTheory
Жыл бұрын
Hi hollie - yeah I decided when I figured it out that I wouldn’t do a deep dive into self diagnosis because I was insecure about knowing myself
@rubycubez1103
2 жыл бұрын
Great video! I was diagnosed last yr at 41 by a licensed social worker who specializes in ASD/ADHD. After attempting to find resources/ help for this, I realize diagnosis coming from a MD holds more weight than a social worker. I did feel relief when diagnosed but I'm still in denial. I mask really well yet constantly feel out of place in groups and at work. I'm not sure if it's real or if I'm making it up. My mother just brushed it off when I told her because I don't present like my nephew. She never asks about my feelings either. It's very surface level with her. I feel like I also mask around her. I don't know know if I should seek a MD diagnosis or just accept what it is.
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Ruby it is hard to know what the right thing is... I would say in this case the right thing is what you feel comfortable with.
@dogshite9842
2 жыл бұрын
I found out that my mum didn’t allow me to be assessed for autism as a child although multiple people had suggested for this
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
oh wow that is hard. i am sure she didn't do it as a negative thing. for example, when i was in kindergarten they sensed something was wrong or different and wanted to hold me back but my mother wouldn't allow it.
@haroldgifford852
2 жыл бұрын
💚🌞👍🐰
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Hi there Harold thanks for always supporting me
@doloresg2141
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Claire, what made you want to get tested? Did things change when you found out?
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
I wanted to get tested because growing up I had been told I was dramatic and overreacted. I felt maybe that was true and didn't want to jump to conclusions without being sure. Things changed because I felt a sense of validation and understanding for myself.
@FirstmaninRome
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I'd like to be a pitty case, but I feel that's not available to men, and we live in a Dystopian hell world anyway, there is only an elite that aren't suffering horrors in amerika.
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Hmm perhaps you are correct, men and women on the spectrum are treated differently, i hadnt really thought about it.
@BCSchmerker
2 жыл бұрын
+WoodshedTheory *I was diagnosed at a time when the State of California (USA) was at the base of the learning curve for setting up an education system for the neurodivergent.* Growing up in a dysfunctional house of origin -- my late dad was a decade out of an abusive first marriage, my late mother a survivor of the War Relocation; both, I suspect, had PTSD either simple or complex -- didn't help. I've seen other autisics' profiles on facebook®, but I lack the knowledge of how to connect on Messenger. Ye see, I never really learned how one should treat oneself and others in the first place, need training materials thereon *Give yourself grace:* I'm stumped on this point. One of my special interests being music in its entirety, I've drifted into a legalist complex: Somebody mentions a Song track by artist and title, I'm compelled to find the Composer, Lyricist, Publisher, and, where applicable, CopyAdmins for without the PRO jurisdiction wherein Publisher resides. *Ye probably have a lot of life left:* The Sovereign LORD of Hosts doesn't guarantee a span o' years for the tenure of _any_ creature. *Learn about, and get to know, other autisics':* Again, I'm stumped, not knowing the protocol of group chat, neither of in-person gatherings such as an autistic conference or a matchmaker's mingle. I need training materials hereon. *Reflect on everything ye've accomplished:* I don't by default. *Be empowered by the knowledge ye have about yourself:* Again, I'm stumped for lack of a code for interospection. Have ye links to references for training? Would be much appreciated. Sent from alcatel® 9032Z # QP1A.190711.020
@WoodshedTheory
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Friend, you are totally correct, we are not guaranteed tomorrow.
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