As a writer, I like these. It's a good way to make my readers dislike the villains for the right reasons and to keep the good guys flawed but still likable.
@asentientbroccoli8658
Жыл бұрын
Smart
@iStorm-my5fp
Жыл бұрын
This is very interesting, tell us more
@danjager6200
Жыл бұрын
@@iStorm-my5fp Quite a lot goes into writing a book or a movie or anything with fictional characters. If you have protagonists and antagonists, you want the audience to like the protagonist and dislike the antagonist. Alternatively, they could like both. You never want the audience to dislike the protagonist. You also don't want the audience to feel nothing for the antagonist. This channel and others like it help me to pick out characteristics that connect with an audience in a desirably positive or a desirably negative way. Let me give you an example. I have an antagonist I have been writing that is manipulative and dangerous. I want him to be outwardly charming to other characters, but I want the audience to see his manipulations and be creeped out. What I don't want is for the audience to fall in love with the guy because he is charming. This channel had a video about how to spot a sociopath. I made sure to emphasize to the audience the negative traits while hiding them from the characters. I'm not a sociopath myself, so things like this are really helpful.
@sharp9150
Жыл бұрын
@@danjager6200 This is very interesting, tell us more
@artman2oo3
Жыл бұрын
Ooooo good point!
@minacakes2
Жыл бұрын
I'm guilty of conversational narcissism. I used to be a lot more introverted and thought it was a way to "keep the conversation going" when I felt awkward and didn't know what to say. I also noticed a lot of people doing it. Never thought about how rude it can be until more recently. Now it's just a bad habit I'd like to break.
@Winter0425
Жыл бұрын
I think it’s ok to share a similar story about yourself, but first acknowledge what the other person shared and ask more questions if you’re genuinely interested. It’s a way to get to know each other, so I think it’s ok so long as the other person was validated and heard
@danarossa
Жыл бұрын
Same. At some point I was so afraid to break someone else's boundaries that I just was choosing to not ask any questions. As a result I was usually just talking about myself in conversations
@absi49
Жыл бұрын
@@Winter0425 but then it wont be "conversational narcissism" anymore , you shifted the entire point of the comment the person made lol
@Winter0425
Жыл бұрын
@@absi49 lol true
@swolltits3927
Жыл бұрын
Totally agree. I think the trick is not to cut someone off before they're done sharing. Then making sure you relating isn't belittling what they've just shared. Then be quick and concise with what you share, using to it show your understanding. Finally bringing it around back to them. Your showing your understanding, relating, then bringing it back to them to expand if they feel the need. Letting them know you get it and are willing to listen to them go deeper.
@jwetzel3141
5 ай бұрын
My neighbors like this. If you tell her your uncle drowned in a lake, her uncle drowned in two lakes. There’s no winning.
@igorthelight
2 ай бұрын
The winning would be to not talk to her ;-)
@etinarcadiaego7424
Ай бұрын
So he got cut in half and then drowned in separate lakes?
@Chris-fn4df
Ай бұрын
Why are you trying to win in the first place?
@sharkaholic2171
Ай бұрын
Damn u drowned ur uncle for that😵💫
@fluffymandy
Ай бұрын
This issue is fixed by venting to feel better, not venting to play the victim card.
@Hamppariranskis
Жыл бұрын
"ukrainians dying and having to leave their country" "I couldn't visit Italy" REALLY
@gasparayakos8215
Жыл бұрын
Boomers
@Margriet101
Жыл бұрын
Why does this woman got a job there what a selfish b
@ellie8602
Жыл бұрын
Joy behalf’s existence summed up in that exchange
@oscaradams7105
Жыл бұрын
how does Joy take the joy out of everything?
@petebaruxes8171
Жыл бұрын
Coming from a panel of narcissist doesn't really surprise anyone?
@TomFooleryTheAustere
5 ай бұрын
Conversational narcissism is a tricky one. It’s not an issue to summarily relate by glossing over a similar experience, but one must quickly turn it back around to the person’s issue in question. It lets them know you can relate without making it about you.
@fluffymandy
Ай бұрын
Yeah it's tricky.
@joesizzle10
Ай бұрын
sometimes I use a quick "i brought that up because..." since it makes things clearer and helps you see when you were or weren't wrong in telling your own story.
@david.fproffitt749
Ай бұрын
I'm also bad for this, my mindset is, I just don't want the person to feel alone. And I wished others would do the same to me as I generally feel entirely alone in most situations I myself have been through. I'll change
@dudewhatthewhat8983
Ай бұрын
It’s also an incredibly common response from neurodivergent people. I think there is something about how our brains are wired, but I also know I and a few other people just see it as the best way to show empathy based on our own experiences. Growing up surrounded by people who’s brain is literally built differently then your own, means you often aren’t understood. “Why do you refuse to eat this specific food?” “Why can’t you do crowds?” “Why do you sometimes just stop talking and don’t answer questions when we just try and help?” We can’t explain it unless we’re diagnosed, and even then that doesn’t mean people get it. Just that they understand why they don’t get it. Our entire lives, our discomforts and ways to responding to bad situations have been seen as weird and abnormal, and that feels awful. So when trying to comfort others, we try our best to make sure they don’t feel that. We make sure they know, other people experience similar things and react in similar ways. Obviously this is not the appropriate response to every situation, especially with neurotypicals. But just like it’s difficult for Neurotypical people to understand what it’s like to be neurodivergent, we also struggle to understand what it’s like to be neurotypical. So figuring out how to respond appropriately is really hard. But we try our best.
@g0d5m15t4k3
17 күн бұрын
Agreed. If you want to show that you relate to what someone just said, keep it short. I like to "return" the convo back to them by saying something like "But anyway, you were saying [give them a prompt where they left off and you interjected]"
@tasha3757
Жыл бұрын
0:18 Jeez, that guy is literally in tears, and the reporter starts making a Saving Private Ryan joke about his dead friend?? 😅🤦♀️
@quasarulas3968
Ай бұрын
Joke is a stretch, it’s more like a misguided reference. The smirk and tongue in cheek delivery was something else
@harizbadrulhisham3805
Жыл бұрын
1. Vulnerability droping: making fun of someone who just open up and being vulnerable. 2. Conversational narcism: keep making things about yourself. 3. Question cutting: interrupt immediately after asking question. 4. Trampoline boundaries: asking other people when someone else wanted to move on to another topic. 5. Teasing sensitive topic 6. Giving unsolicited advice. 7. Instant aggression: respond with too much hostility too fast too soon.
@blackqweenmars
Жыл бұрын
You mean trampling?
@fefferryerr1818
Жыл бұрын
I think it's "trampling boundaries" not "trampoline boundaries" or did I misunderstand?
@j4513
Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for thinking of us and posting this. I do number two way too much, although the therapist that had to analyze me after leaving the military said I am the diabolical opposite of a narcissist and that I’m very compassionate. But I bring topics back around to myself too much and they said it’s from PTSD from the military. Because supposedly I have too much unprocessed shiz. I mean this comment is an example. I’m talking about myself. Which maybe is pretty normal on KZitem but I do it too much.
@harizbadrulhisham3805
Жыл бұрын
@@j4513 all the best to you to fix your mental issue 👍
@j4513
Жыл бұрын
@@harizbadrulhisham3805 Thank you very much, brother 👍🏼 Really appreciate that.
@Astrid_Grace
Жыл бұрын
“5 million people displaced, it’s heartbreaking.” “Yeah and what about my vacation?!” I’m embarrassed for that woman.
@ralphralpherson9441
Жыл бұрын
Joyless Joy is one of the worst people on Earth. Its simply unimaginable to me how so many people can actually watch that show... Between her and Whoopi Goldberg there is so much smug narcisism and pontificating condescension I cant handle it.
@testingtesting4984
Жыл бұрын
I was like “…whaaatttt?” when i heard her statement about Italy 🤦🏻♀️
@istvanpraha
Жыл бұрын
The show is "liberal" so they can lie and be nasty and get a free pass
@GEM4sta
Жыл бұрын
To be honest... It probably connected more with the people that watch that show, lol.
@On_the_Virgil05
Жыл бұрын
You'd be surprised how many people took the pandemic as "Oh God, look at how bad I have it because I can't go on vacation".
@sm5574
Жыл бұрын
Jimmy Fallon is a consistent example of what not to do. He's the epitome of someone who has to be in the spotlight at all times.
@jirden
Ай бұрын
He literally doesn't know how to live a life where he's not the center of attention all the time. It's pathetic.
@tomparke2407
Жыл бұрын
That ‘shift response’ thing is something I’m always trying to fight off because when someone says something that happened to them my brain instantly switches to a similar story from my own life. I’ve got to be really conscious of not automatically making the conversation about myself.
@masterofnone1481
Жыл бұрын
I’m the same way 😢
@MenteMaestra91
Жыл бұрын
It really isn't hard if you try. What I do is remind myself that whatever story or comment I was going to make can always sound a lot better in another moment, and there will always be another moment.
@Adarsh_amd
Жыл бұрын
I would say I feel the same way but I just saw a video explaining why it would make people dislike me
@teddie552
Жыл бұрын
Same, and it's usually an attempt to relate to that person and build intemacy but it doesn't come off that way.
@evonne315
Жыл бұрын
Thats the hard part, realizing how subconcious we are all operating and we dont even know why. This video does a great job explaining and giving real examples!
@vladimirkomkov2404
Жыл бұрын
- Joking at another's vulnerability - Conversational narcissism: talking about a related event in your life - Cutting someone answering your question - Ignoring boundaries - Teasing sensitive topics - Unsolicited advice - Instant aggression: assuming negative intent too quickly
@Legendendear
Жыл бұрын
Last one can be caused by long term bullying. I know this, because I had this problem a few years ago.
@PalindromeDesign
Жыл бұрын
In the case of "instant aggression" , there are so many insincere interviewers out there who bait people that I can understand interviewees being too sensitive.
@drnanard9605
Жыл бұрын
@@Legendendear sure but the woman in the bit specifically asked for her age to be guessed. She wanted to be angry.
@milascave2
Жыл бұрын
@@drnanard9605 She didn't get the answer she wanted. But if she is sensitive about her age, she should not ask people about it.
@drnanard9605
Жыл бұрын
@@milascave2 that... is exactly my point bro
@chrishuber3372
5 ай бұрын
In my opinion, the question cutting is the worst. How can you not know you are doing this. Being an introverted person, I sometimes hesitate when answering a question, so many people feel they need to fill the void with their own answer. I generally stop talking & let them go on, knowing they don't care about my answer.
@yasininn76
Ай бұрын
Maybe just answer when someone is asking you a question regardless of if they talk over you and you'll find out they'll shut up real quick once they see you ain't shutting up
@uMaud
Ай бұрын
Most of the time, the people cutting you off and their conversation are not really worth the effort of battling them to be heard and listened to. Shutting up and no longer engaging or reacting helps cutting the conversation short. Most eventually realize that it got akward when they finish monologuing and you're still not adding anything. Or they're just really self-centered and keep on talking past the time you're willing to put up with them, at wich point you can just excuse yourself to go somewhere else. In any case, I prefer to invest my efforts on people who care enough to listen.
@yesnomaybee
Жыл бұрын
As someone who is super socially awkward and has severe social anxiety this is super helpful and I’m grateful it exists
@rachealfaucher4520
Жыл бұрын
YES!
@jameswatson5807
Жыл бұрын
Are you Japanese hehe.
@Hotsaucedeluxe
Жыл бұрын
That private mace joke was absolutely jaw dropping
@RM-xl1ed
Жыл бұрын
Such bad taste. wow
@MeatCatCheesyBlaster
Жыл бұрын
It wasn’t even funny lol
@RS54321
Жыл бұрын
Just gross.
@mmaxine1331
Жыл бұрын
@@RM-xl1edit was heartless
@cremebrulee4759
Жыл бұрын
No empathy, clueless. The soldier had tears in his eyes. Not the time for a joke.
@ultimatewafflegaming1018
Жыл бұрын
i do the conversational narcissism and im trying to work on it, most of my life ive been ignored and treated like i dont exist and its caused me to try and bring some focus on me and now its a problem, im working on it and this video helps thank you
@AECommonThread2137
Жыл бұрын
Invalidated childhood is a big component in Cluster B traits.
@ultimatewafflegaming1018
Жыл бұрын
@@AECommonThread2137 i can see that being a decently big factor, i also have adhd so cutting people off and then apologizing because I know I will forget what im gonna say is another isue added to it too but ive been pretty good about both of those since ive posted this comment so progress has been made
@justanotherhumanbeing7119
4 ай бұрын
@@ultimatewafflegaming1018 as long as you have a way of communicating "I didn't mean to interrupt you, please continue," IMHO I think you deserve people in your life who put effort into being understanding of you. Socializing is already hard for everyone, neurodivergence makes it harder. It looks like you're working really hard to make things better for yourself and others, you deserve to be kind to yourself.
@drek9k2
4 ай бұрын
@@AECommonThread2137 What is invalidated childhood?
@danielganong2557
Ай бұрын
conversational narcissism is very common in those with ADHD and autism as well due to the inability to pick up on social cues or knowing how to properly relate to someone. I have ADHD and i struggle with it vehemently, my best advice is to ask more about what the person has shared with you, and there's a good chance they'll ask about you afterward and give you opportunity to talk
@somedude4805
Жыл бұрын
I’m guilty of the instant aggression and assuming insults where none is meant. Aftermath of a childhood spent being told I was wrong and bad. It’s hard to break out of that mindset after 3 decades of believing it.
@thezilch9102
Жыл бұрын
Oh my god. Same. I'm so sorry and sad that you experienced that, but at the same time, I'm thankful that I'm not alone. I hope you're doing better! Slowly but surely.
@justanjustan9624
Жыл бұрын
I feel that on so many levels.
@ZoeMagnes
Жыл бұрын
I can definitely relate, and I've learned this is a common phenomenon called "rejection sensitivity dysphoria"
@texasred2702
Жыл бұрын
I think bullying or abuse is a common cause for that.
@arnoldo9319
Жыл бұрын
3 decades? Dude thats not childhood thats half of your life even 💀
@orthohawk1026
Жыл бұрын
My go-to response to the Instant Aggression response is "Ok. I'm done with this interaction" and then turn and walk away. Instant aggro means one thing: they assume you have bad intent in what you said. HUGE red flag! If they do that with one thing, they're gonna do it with everything.
@tiotito31
3 ай бұрын
Instant aggression met with another sort of instant regression
@janeldavis905
2 ай бұрын
I am noticing that a lot of comments on this video are from people talking about how they're guilty of conversational narcissism. It seems like this is a particularly misunderstood area of communication. I'd love to see a video from you on it! Thanks for making such great content: I'm excited to see more from you!
@suppe3267
Ай бұрын
agreed it should be a topic!
@martinandreev5204
Жыл бұрын
Truly think this is one of the most valuable videos you guys have made. These are all habits a lot of people don’t usually perceive to be bad in themselves, but can be detrimental
@DiogoChris
Жыл бұрын
I second this!!!
@hummie3
Жыл бұрын
Now I feel like I just shouldn’t speak at all
@no_peace
Жыл бұрын
I want to make a clip of number one and send it to a bunch of people. Specifically the part about the joke being to make THEM more comfortable
@no_peace
Жыл бұрын
You weren't trying to cheer me up, you wanted me to stop being vulnerable and bumming you out
@no_peace
Жыл бұрын
@@hummie3 I'm autistic, i always feel like that because I'm constantly being socially punished no matter what i do. Welcome to the club
@m.i.t.h.
Жыл бұрын
We are all guilty of these sometimes, especially during awkward icebreaking efforts, but I'm glad this brought up conversational narcissism. I have a history of self-esteem issues that has left me always asking myself what I'm doing wrong and how I can improve. This has left me with a bad habit of relating things back to myself impulsively and sometimes abruptly. This in turn scares people away and makes self esteem worse. I am glad that this video has voiced this habit so clearly as it gives me a more precise target to aim for as I improve my sociability.
@clementnade972
Жыл бұрын
Oops. Story of my life.
@kritigupta1757
Жыл бұрын
Same
@frankwu1713
Жыл бұрын
Same man, this will always go down to a unhealthy cycle which leads to lower and lower self-esteem
@fernandohenriquemenezesdes5715
Жыл бұрын
You just made a narcissistic comment, bringing thw subject of discussion to yours own conversational traits. You have a long way to go
@numbnerve
Жыл бұрын
@@fernandohenriquemenezesdes5715 Fernango
@Moon-ep2bb
Жыл бұрын
Honestly, one thing I have learned about talking about topics is: asking permission to speak on something ahead of time. This gives you the ability to not cross a boundary without even having to hurt the person. You simply say: “Is the topic of your mothers death something we can discuss?” “No I would really like to not get into it.” “Okay perfectly fine. So… (topic change here.)” This is so helpful to preemptively stop yourself from crossing a boundary. You don’t have to do it with every topic, but certain heavy topics, it can really help you to respect the person you are speaking with.
@robe.2424
Жыл бұрын
The first one I would think is common sense to never ever do. Especially if someone lost a best friend or anyone.
@ar1i_k
Жыл бұрын
Common sense tends to fail people when their brain nervously shuts down ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@judylandry302
Жыл бұрын
The difference between the semi-illiterate and the illiterate, is illiterate people have common sense.
@sharonhobbs4144
Жыл бұрын
@@ar1i_k yes I hear that. I think the brain goes omigod big thing let's joke to defuse tension!
@miaowmiaowchowface
Жыл бұрын
all of them are common sense. yet chances are you've done one.
@sauliussimcikas7538
Жыл бұрын
most often it happens when something is a little bit vulnerable, the example is extreme
@drozmedia
Жыл бұрын
No. 6 applies for so many people especially the guys out there listening to their girls. One of the most valuable lessons I learned was how to listen to my partner with feeling like I have to give my own input. This really goes a far way.
@JustRideTheVibe
Жыл бұрын
It's amazing how just being comfortable in your own skin is truly half of the entire "charisma" battle. And it's also the toughest aspect to truly pull off.
@drek9k2
4 ай бұрын
Just realized thats part of why NPDs and ASPDs can appear effortlessly charmingly and glibly charismatic, Cluster B personalities are so self absorbed and so full of themselves it comes off as ease of confidence at first simply because being uncomfortable never occurs to them.
@John-uw2je
Жыл бұрын
I find a great way to avoid narcissistic tendencies is to ask people questions. Like, if someone is talking about a sad time in their past, ask them how they got through it. Or, try to relate a bit but make sure to tell them you have no idea what it feels to be in their situation. That said, if you truly were in a similar or even worse situation, it's fine to open up about that but I would recommend doing some of the previous advice first.
@GEM4sta
Жыл бұрын
I think worse is usually not good. Choose a different time to bring it up. Like if someone is crying about their cat dying, you probably don't want to bring up your mom passing last month. Even though it seems like the perfect relation, you're overshadowing their issue and you're going to make them feel bad about feeling bad.
@3van660
Жыл бұрын
and most importantly make an active attempt to listen
@TravisMcGee151
Жыл бұрын
@@GEM4sta But that’s exactly what everyone does. They make their reply about themselves and their life. It’s a horrible habit and a tough one to break.
@mrpickles-hb6zx
Ай бұрын
I genuinely have a hard time feeling anything for people, it honestly isn't my job to care. Only a lucky few get that out of me.
@mrpickles-hb6zx
Ай бұрын
@GEM4sta bad comparison
@acanfield87
Жыл бұрын
Assuming positive intent will help avoid those inevitable situations where you assumed the worse, over-reacted, and ruined a situation or even relationship. If the perceived slight is actually an insult, you can still make positive progress by setting the boundaries and (trying to) redirect the conversation/topic. Holding others accountable for their statements without being triggered back can increase their respect for you, improve their future behavior, and might even result in an apology. All wins.
@alexiamcculloch1322
Жыл бұрын
These are so obvious seeing them outside of ourselves, but sometimes it's a little harder when you do them and don't realize it in conversation. Helpful video for sure.
@ritaparker478
Жыл бұрын
It was unfair of her to ask. She is trying to get a compliment or some other ego motivated response. Don't see why she would be offended he wasn't being rude, he took the question in a literal sense and answered it. If she was trying to start a flirtatious conversation she was too direct. Anyway, it was kind of mean to set him up.
@yankee2666
Жыл бұрын
There’s a great little book on Amazon entitled, “Hoots and Grunts” that addresses common everyday communication flubs that we make that can push others away from us.
@mattwatson7510
4 ай бұрын
8:35 «Oh thank you» Good answer «It’s a compliment» I would argue that It’s passive aggressive. Just stick with «thank you» and move on. You will seem so much more confident 😊
@AWE5OMEANT
Жыл бұрын
I was talking to my friend about what's going on in my life. Immediately after mentioning that I was on the job hunt doing interviews, he goes into a 10 minute story about how his job hunt went. It kinda hurt, like he didn't care too much about what I had to say.
@mreverybody1150
Жыл бұрын
From what Ive observed, most people only care about themselves....
@verydenise
Жыл бұрын
I love that Dakota calls out talk show hosts on their bad behavior.
@susancook1448
Жыл бұрын
However calling out on national tv not good behavior! That’s rude
@mynameispeaches
Жыл бұрын
I know this makes me sound 100 years old. But Johnny Caron was so masterful at letting his guests have the floor. He himself was hilarious but fell back spent most of the time laughing and enjoying what the guest had to say.
@lil11113
5 ай бұрын
Conversational narcissism, I am definitely guilty of that. Sometimes I'll catch myself doing it and try my best to stop
@r.8902
4 ай бұрын
i think its just innate human nature. people like to talk about themselves and theres not really anything wrong with that, but i think its really about context and situation. i used to be the type who always brought the conversation back to me and ive been working on not doing that as much over the last year. i still catch myself doing it, but each time i just go "well, because i talked about myself this time, next time i'll talk about them". i dont try to shame myself bc i already did that and it didnt work and make me unconfident lol
@paolozmm
2 ай бұрын
Do you really not see the huge irony in your comment 😂
@minecraftsteve2504
Жыл бұрын
God. That first joke about private Mace was.. heartbreaking. I can't believe he actually made a joke like that. I could see the pain in that man's eyes.
@TheHesseJames
5 ай бұрын
I understand how that joke might appear in your head if you are a quip machine. And a machine would just spit it out. A considerate human being would simply suppress it. I had to learn this as well.
@coffehbear3359
Жыл бұрын
I'm guilty of unsolicited advice the most. Comes from a place of wanting to do good for the person, but definitely puts people on the defense
@James_36
Жыл бұрын
same, I made the mistake thinking some of my so called friends wanted advice but they just wanted to talk about themselves constantly
@absi49
Жыл бұрын
@@James_36 thats not a good signal tho
@vividchilling2492
Жыл бұрын
@@absi49 fr
@maartenkeus8627
Жыл бұрын
I was autistic as a kid but I kinda got over it I guess, I learned social skills from friends and videos like this. You're really helping people out here man! I'm glad to say I personally already knew all of these :D
@blackqweenmars
Жыл бұрын
Same except I’m still autistic
@bartoszjankowiak3157
Жыл бұрын
I think you are still autistic, but you learnt to overcome most issues that come with it. Really, good for you and you can be proud of yourself as it's not easy at all. Always learning the hard way, right??
@nv3363
Жыл бұрын
I have adhd and I do most of the things on the list and I’m just really bad at reading a room, and not accidentally blurting out inappropriate things
@grazgrain
Жыл бұрын
Well youre still autistic, youre just better at handling it
@DandyParrott
Жыл бұрын
I've never heard of someone 'getting over' autism. You may learn social skills and consciously improve your responses and interactions, but autism is always going to be a lifelong thing.
@ryanmackenzie6109
Жыл бұрын
One small note on the topic of conversational narcissism: Not all people who do it are trying to put focus on themselves. For most people dealing with ADHD, what can seem like narcissism is actually us trying to engage with what you're saying and empathise. So "work sucked" "oh my gosh yeah, X,Y,Z happened at my work" isn't inherently bad, it's trying to communicate; I hear you, I'm listening, I understand you, and I can relate to what you're saying.. But we also tend to leave it open just enough for others to then start sharing their stories
@FunkyChamel
Жыл бұрын
It's not a crime or the worst thing in the world to relate to yourself, as it said in the video some people like to feel like they're not alone. If your response always shifts to yourself, that's what annoys and repels people.
@sitcomchristian6886
Жыл бұрын
Very guilty of this AND have ADHD! But regardless, I can understand why it puts people off. It takes a lot of restraint for me to not overshare.
@billny33
Жыл бұрын
The Taylor Swift-John Kleese exchange really got me to thinking about this. Knowing the right response to an inappropriate comment or attack can really be a lot of pressure. Kleese turns that "and cussed, like women" comment right at Taylor. With a live audience and people reacting, obviously it's on tv too. Taylor has a brand and a huge group of fans who want to believe that she will not succumb to male power, but equally just as many industry titans, i.e. men, waiting to slam her if she goes too hard aggressively back or comes across too unlikable in her response. Plus, obviously, she wants to remain authentic and true to herself in her response. Plus, do you want to turn this into an argument with the beloved Kleese. There's so many possible scenarios here. And once the audience laughs and goes ooooohhhh, the clock is ticking. One second, two seconds. Come on Taylor, say something, what is your response? "Oooooohh we don't wanna do that" John Kleese laughs and takes a hint, everything stays the course. Taylor's fans are satisfied. So are Kleese's. The audience laughs. Hurdle cleared. But man, that's gotta be tough. There's probably a lot of those decisions. And tbh while I know she's been bashed for a few well-meaning-but-tone-deaf social media posts, I can't really think of an infamous Taylor Swift gaffe on live tv so seems like she handles herself pretty well for the most part. Good on her.
@Luboman411
Жыл бұрын
I get the feeling that Taylor Swift has had A LOT of practice deploying this particular party-trick to get people--especially old, tone-deaf men--to back off when she's angered by casual misogyny.
@wesleykim1758
Жыл бұрын
Agreed, there was a slightly awkward pause, but considering it wasnt a planned response that was about as smooth as an answer as she could have given. I can't begin to imagine how many mental calculations she had to do in that split second to come up with that response, actually kinda terrifying considering how much damage could have been done if she had handled that improperly
@joywebster2678
Жыл бұрын
She has her narcisstic charm polished whe she wants to
@erica6825
Жыл бұрын
I absolutely LOVE her response. Seems jokey, but gets the point across. And John Cleese immediately realises he should leave that right there. Also a great response.
@billny33
Жыл бұрын
@@wesleykim1758 absolutely.
@stevehandley8649
Жыл бұрын
Amen the “instant aggression” part. I think of that in terms of what it does to my options. Escalating to aggression is much easier than de-escalating from aggression, so staying non-aggressive keeps my options open. But if I go to aggression now, non-aggression may cease to be an option for the rest of the conversation.
@shy_toad7884
Жыл бұрын
Very well said-- thanks.
@kieran8720
Жыл бұрын
Steve-O looked so crushed... Most definitely undeserved
@honkhonk5181
Жыл бұрын
Well his entire career is hinged on causing extreme pain to his body, so compared to that, Amy’s comment couldn’t have hurt him that bad. It was just somewhat annoying to him.
@humantacos9800
Жыл бұрын
He looked pretty crushed.
@noweare1
Жыл бұрын
Never like Amy.
@allent1152
Жыл бұрын
@@honkhonk5181 physical pain hurts less
@honkhonk5181
Жыл бұрын
@@allent1152 try getting third degree burns on half your body and see if you still think that
@jake_a.lien_
Жыл бұрын
The giving unsolicited advice habit is one I'm SUPER guilty of lmao. I'm gonna make an effort to stop lol
@albertp-w4d
Жыл бұрын
I was in Egypt walking across a street without looking 2 centuries ago and guy on a camel raced across the dirt and almost Ran me over‼️ These speeding drivers get worse every year !
@Paul-dv4dr
Жыл бұрын
I say "I know you haven't asked for my advice, but...." I think this mitigates the criticism a bit???
@Luboman411
Жыл бұрын
@@Paul-dv4dr Or an even better way of doing this would be, "So this [mention personal situation/problem here] sounds bad/interesting. Do you mind if I give you some advice?" That way they can answer "yes" or "no." "I know you haven't asked for my advice, but..." is just as bad since you're not giving the recipient of your advice the option of NOT hearing it. You need to give them that way out if they simply don't want to hear it.
@jacksont9455
Жыл бұрын
Same! Also derailing the conversation to be about myself. I just get so excited that I’ve got a relatable thing, that I just make it all about me. (There I go doing it again 😅 This video just makes me never want to speak to anyone again.)
@evilsharkey8954
Жыл бұрын
Me too. My nature is a problem solver, so I try to look for fixes. I’ve gotten better at just listening, though. When people are really hurting, sometimes they just need an ear to bend. On the flip side, some people vent sooo much and don’t do anything to fix their situation and just expect you to absorb all their shared, self inflicted misery. We all know that one person who does nothing but complain about their partner but won’t go to counseling, talk honestly with their partner, or leave them (in cases where there’s no abuse).
@frenchy8th
Жыл бұрын
These are some of the most accurate tips I’ve ever heard. Very helpful! This reminds me of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. Basically, people like you when you seamlessly put the focus on them and their needs. It’s powerful connection.
@AlexGreeneHypnotist
Жыл бұрын
If a woman ever asks you if you can guess her age, don't rise to the occasion. It's a complete trap.
@judylandry302
Жыл бұрын
Answer her question with the question, "How old do you feel?" Shuts them down.
@user-dy7bv3qs4j
Жыл бұрын
It is not a trap, the woman just wants you to tell her that she looks beautiful, age does not really matter.
@Sampsonoff
Жыл бұрын
Just guess obviously low. She’ll think you’re sweet
@judylandry302
Жыл бұрын
@@Sampsonoff Go with Alex on this. If you guess low, she'll think your interested or a liar. Better yet stay clear of women that are that insecure, or worse, jailbait. Card them for your own protection.
@judylandry302
Жыл бұрын
@@user-dy7bv3qs4j Then the question should be: "How do I look?"
@vinsanity982
Жыл бұрын
The saving private mace one is just mind blowing. You would have to be a psychopath to think that joke was ok to run with
@humantacos9800
Жыл бұрын
While he’s crying.
@unknownninja1
Жыл бұрын
Indeed that interviewer was a repulsive turd - brained toad 😒. He was a completely inappropriate and thoughtless twit, it is really sad how a fully grown human being can lack such awareness and compassion.
@a.athertonwrites
Жыл бұрын
Are these interviewers @4:56 even human? That was SO inappropriate I wouldn’t have blamed the guy if he just got up and left. First being super impersonal about a super personal matter and then trying to make it a joke? This makes me want to think twice about certain things ..one of those things being who I decide to ever interview with
@docd2295
Ай бұрын
Stanhope making the joke to change subject was a GOOD move. Remember there’s an audience and they have to keep the flow going and make it funny. It’s not all about the guest. And the joke was at the host’s expense, not the guest. Not everything is about making peopme feel perfectly comfortable all the time.
@RocketVet
Жыл бұрын
Man, the more of these I watch the more I realize I've never been around decent people, and rarely on the receiving end of a pleasant conversation.
@phoenix402
Жыл бұрын
a lot of people are simply never told or taught what they are doing wrong. as such bad habits often go unchecked. sometimes people are more decent at heart than how they might act in certain situations would show. not always true though of course, but keeping it into consideration might be worthwhile, especially if you could perhaps be the one to point it out. might actually end up setting a few folks straight that way. still, sorry to hear about the lack of pleasantries. hopefully things improve for you in the long run.
@justinjablonski972
Жыл бұрын
Wow, this video is absolutely PACKED with value! I am definitely guilty of violating some of these. Really grateful to this channel for bringing awareness to this type of stuff so we can all do better 🙏🏻
@albertp-w4d
Жыл бұрын
You're probably guilty of violating them all tbh
@justinjablonski972
Жыл бұрын
@@albertp-w4d Probably so!
@RimaEln
Жыл бұрын
I've been guilty of the giving unsolicited advice. I have to remind myself not to give solutions when I'm not asked for them. Sometimes people just want to talk about their problems without asking for a solution. I should keep remembering that.
@prometheuszero9
Жыл бұрын
It's good you mention that most people aren't purposely trying to be unlikable, and in fact lots of times, people might even think they're being helpful. Since we are armed with the knowledge you share in these videos, it's not only important for us to try and avoid these faux pas ourselves, but it's also important for us to be patient and polite and tolerant when others do these things to us, especially some of the more innocuous ones like convo narcissism, question trampling, and unsolicited advice.
@honkhonk5181
Жыл бұрын
Like when a husband or boyfriend offers solutions to his bitching broad and instead of soothing it throws gasoline on her fire because she was just trying to vent, not ask for advice.
@BranBal
Жыл бұрын
@@honkhonk5181 That was oddly specific...
@iMaddCraze
Жыл бұрын
I experience huge amounts of anxiety in social gatherings or conversations from constantly watching myself and making sure I'm not being rude and upsetting people, or alienating myself. Watching this I realise now that it's because I just need to learn social skills in more detail; I find social etiquette really hard to understand or read but anyone I tell this to are usually people who just know all of this intrinsically, and can't help literally outline things for me. Thanks for the great content!
@MarvoloSalazar
Жыл бұрын
Lol what on earth was seriously wrong with that first guy. Did he really think that it was his glorious moment to unleash his "epic" joke he'd been holding in since the 1700's
@turkishjanitor3666
Жыл бұрын
You can see he was preparing himself to unleash his masterful brand of humor
@sharonhobbs4144
Жыл бұрын
Yeah and they even had to put a screen clip over to explain the idea of the joke. I think most ppl would be too horrified at the words to get the joke.
@JohnSmith-ct5jd
Жыл бұрын
Again, an example of a narcissistic personality. Common among celebrities.
@Minty11111
Жыл бұрын
I’ve tried talking to one of my family members about CONSTANTLY relating other people’s stories back to herself. She will even mow over them so they can’t finish what they were saying. She swears it’s an appropriate way to show empathy and keep the conversation going.
@pweavd2695
Жыл бұрын
George with the unsolicited advice and the Island boys with the instant aggression
@Justice237
Жыл бұрын
Can I just say how helpful these videos are for autistic people like me? Even with awareness of major social faux pas, these are so helpful in breaking down more nuanced social rules
@A_Wild_Dyzzy
Жыл бұрын
In the case of the Island Boys, I think George could tell way ahead of time that their career wasn’t going anywhere beyond their one viral tiktok. And frankly, the man called it. They just didn’t want to accept that they weren’t built to last.
@albertp-w4d
Жыл бұрын
Lol whatever happened to those guys? are they still making videos?
@A_Wild_Dyzzy
Жыл бұрын
@@albertp-w4d Quick google search says they’re trying to start beef with other influencers. And SunnyV2 on KZitem did a video on them.
@albertp-w4d
Жыл бұрын
@@A_Wild_Dyzzy 6ix9ine (who i think Island boys modeled their image after) definitely had a longer run.
@shawnhenderson2091
5 ай бұрын
Conversational narcassism is hard to avoid because I do that in an attempt to relate to what someone is describing
@Nightcrawler333
Жыл бұрын
02:20 - this happened to me last week and I'm still angry/irritated when I think about that moment. An a$$hole colleague of mine asked me a question over a call. When I started answering that, she interrupted me. You wouldn't believe: this happened to me twice on that same call. I wanted to yell "hey a$$hole, you asked me a question", but I just kept quiet. This is extremely irritating behaviour, that too in a professional environment. Thankfully, I seldom interact with that a$$hole.
@UniqueGeekFreak
Жыл бұрын
Lol sorry mate Just tell what you need to say to get that frustration off, otherwise it will hurt you. Sometimes i think when ppl ask, they sometimes get the answer and eant to blurt it out, and they could have not been able to come to that conclusion themselves without interacting with others for feedback. That is at least my take on it. It could also be an ego thing, that they themselves want to quickly show that they cane to that answer, solution or conclusion themselves. Just don't let it ruin your mood....it's on them. And if one actually wants to help oneself and othets too, it's better to bring these things up in a graceful good manner, to avoid conflicts. Communication is EVERYTHING!!
@ROMANTIKILLER2
Жыл бұрын
One of my managers had that habit. He's not a mean guy, but the 1:1 were pretty much pointless, as it quickly turned into basically his own presentation.
@sneakykamon
Жыл бұрын
I used to be friends with someone who would always interrupt me mid-sentence whenever we had a conversation and I would lose my train of thought, forcing me to start over, and she would always tell me to “get to the point.” I’d find myself getting aggressive every time and telling her “well if you’d learn to stfu and listen, I’d get there faster!” Sure glad she’s not in my life anymore.
@mattbrunson8141
Жыл бұрын
Keep talking and don't stop. They will eventually stop talking and interrupting you. I promise this works.
@gusmonster59
Жыл бұрын
I hate it and refuse to put up with it. I have turned and walked away from bosses that interrupt me when I am answering a question.
@masteronmace
Жыл бұрын
I genuinely don’t feel like an alien watching these videos. Seeing his reaction at 4:48 without noticing you pointing it out has made me realized more about facial expressions
@allys744
5 ай бұрын
I’m glad they brought up teasing sensitive topics because there is a super fine line between acceptable black comedy and then teasing sensitive topics for no reason. It depends on the place and time, you have to read the room to see if such sensitive jokes are acceptable. Not only that, most black humor jokes involve a simple rule: you have to make jokes at the expense of perpetrators, not the victims, otherwise it appears tasteless. For example, any kind of Holocaust joke only works if you target hitler and/or the nazi party, not the victims of the Holocaust.
@RedZepp71
Жыл бұрын
This was insightful. Something that stood out to me was asking if the person would like your advice instead of just assuming. They say self awareness is a good indicator of intelligence!
@charliep5139
Жыл бұрын
these kind of videos should be shown to teenagers in middle and high school. even if they don't do these kind of things, it will help them to definitely make sure they dont do these kind of things but also be able to better sense why they may not get a good vibe about certain people. these are also good tips for when you start dating for what to avoid and what to appreciate in people that not only don't do these things but give genuine, empathetic responses to things you say and questions you ask
@AndreaLyon-q4x
4 күн бұрын
I swear you've put the cringiest mistakes up top. I'm still squirming from the first two. Great video!
@briannicks7161
Жыл бұрын
When I meet someone for the first time if they tease me no matter how friendly I'll never like them, you have to be FRIENDS to have friendly banter.
@aaronrhodes7268
Жыл бұрын
There’s an 8th one that we all know and have experienced, trauma dumping. That one friend who has to tell you his/her whole sob story of a life 7 times a day.
@Luboman411
Жыл бұрын
I did that when I was way younger, starting off in college. I saw how quickly that turned people off, so I immediately stopped trauma dumping, especially on complete strangers.
@Knapweed
Жыл бұрын
One thing that really gets my goat is when somebody takes five minutes to ask a question, which is really just a way of grabbing the stage and attempting to show how smart they are. Russel Brand does it constantly.
@Baer1990
Жыл бұрын
7:20 Next mistake was doubling down TWICE after they made clear a boundary was crossed. Yes it was good intentions but you make it clear after apologising and clearly stating what you apologise for
@whateverdope
Жыл бұрын
The biggest mistake was even giving those bozos a platform
@cleowithmayo9359
9 ай бұрын
This was honestly a little eye-opening as a struggling waitress. Sometimes due to the stress I feel like I don’t function like a normal human being and often fumble basic interactions, but I could never pinpoint exactly why or when my guests attitudes would sour-that is, until I watched this video and recognized some of these (question cutting, misjudging boundaries, assuming the worst, etc.) in myself. Wasn’t expecting to actually gain anything from this video, but I did! Thanks!
@davidhoffman6980
Жыл бұрын
The number one habit you forgot to include is instantly contradicting someone. Every time someone immediately contradicts something I say, I hate it and find it hard to like them. I don't mean disagree or explain a different view; I mean something along the lines of "That's not what happened" or "That's not what that word means" "Actually..."
@texasred2702
Жыл бұрын
Christ, we have a guy like that at work. So irritating. I don't think he even realizes he's doing it, or he's trying to seem smart. He's not a bad guy at all but there's definitely times I'm just not in the mood.
@kuzzbillington6392
Жыл бұрын
An equally annoying habit is when people often are wrong but can't stand being corrected, so they never learn.
@TheYazmanian
Жыл бұрын
Someone did something similar yesterday. I made a comment and they were all "oh you only feel that way because..." and had to correct them and remind them in so many words that in fact the reason I said it is because of specific reasoning and NOT what they thought. Like how is someone gonna correct me when I'm not even wrong? They aren't in my head. They don't know why I like something.
@TheHajnee14
Жыл бұрын
@@kuzzbillington6392 :D
@ellie1595
Жыл бұрын
This was so good. I was shocked at how many of these I actually do but saw clearly thru the examples. It was great to see the counter examples on the proper way to handle it. And the explanations and insight really helped me to understand. Great job!
@t.r.everstone7
9 ай бұрын
Craig Ferguson might be the only interviewer that I don't think I've ever seen do any of that stuff. He was so good at gauging boundaries and then staying within them while keeping conversations going in an entertaining way. He'd switch to making fun of himself at the drop of a hat if he could tell the guest needed some levity or a topic change. Really impressive.
@zoeythewhitelioness
Жыл бұрын
Ugh I hate unsolicited advice, drives me nuts.
@bighonkies
Жыл бұрын
I hate it when people ask me how old they are, because of that exact reaction at 8:19 and I'm horrible at guessing ages. When someone asks me their age I always say something obviously wrong like 80. People usually pick up on the fact that I'm not going to actually guess their age and if they ask me again I say like one number lower and say 79.
@raeanna451
4 ай бұрын
Conversational narcissism is the one I have run into the most. I don't often open up about when I'm struggling. But when I do only to have the person I am talking to instantly shifts it to themselves to show that they "relate" I feel completly invalidated and regret even opening up in the first place.
@Riddierid
Жыл бұрын
Sad how I've known and know a lot of people that are like this in my life. Another interesting one is that some people act like they care about you and even think about you and give you stuff, but eventually it turns out it always was for their own benefit. So eventually they didn't actually gave you anything or cared about anything about you, in the end it's always about themselves
@sharonhobbs4144
Жыл бұрын
A lot of us do care , we just can't help being arseholes too.
@willytompkins8115
Жыл бұрын
Yes quite common trait in narcissistic folks. We have a ton out there be careful.. sorry you got burnt.
@karlfranzemperorofmandefil5547
Жыл бұрын
It’s often not even nativism but just being extremely uncomfortable and not very adept in conservations and just desperately trying to keep the conversation going. It’s something I’m often doing by accident.
@ItsEggoMyWeggo
Жыл бұрын
I regret giving so much unsolicited advice, I never realized its affect on people. Sometimes all we want is comfort and someone to listen to, not everything has to have a solution. It comes from good intentions but I see how it can come off as rude, I'll definitely be better.
@SunnyAquamarine2
Жыл бұрын
It's a good idea to try to be better at relating to others, but it's important to be yourself. People can and do eventually see through those who are insincere and are just playing a manipulative game.
@theinacircleoftheancientpu492
Ай бұрын
I feel like it's okay to make one of these mistakes once, generally they'll forgive it. But if you cross the line repeatedly you are done...which is fair. I embarrassed myself in an interaction recently, it's important to realise you messed up and preferably also why. As unpleasant as that can be. Acknowledgement can be good, so they know you realised what you did, but sometimes it's just better to bury it. And that line can be difficult to judge if you are insecure.
@timberwolfbrother
Жыл бұрын
My father's really bad about unsolicited advice, even if you explicitly tell him you do not want him repeatedly. As for me, this video really helps me feel a bit more comfortable with interacting with people by knowing the things I don't do, and some things I might want to practice.
@themr_wilson
Жыл бұрын
My brother-in-law is the same: There's his way, then there's the wrong way
@lifespanwellnessbeauty-60i64
Жыл бұрын
Great video. I think many if these responses are used by people with just plain poor social skills. They feel socially awkward. But some are narcissistic habits that definitely need to be called out. For example- a woman from the place I took my cats to get their shots called to remind me that it was time to get their shots again. She referred to one of my cats, and I told her he was deceased. She said, and I quote, " Yes, R was getting a little long in the tooth." Not, oh I'm sorry to hear that. She didn't know how to cover her social gaff of trying to make light of my cat's death. So I politely but firmly took a moment to explain that he didn't die of old age, he had several health issues. And furthermore, it was extremely rude and insensitive for her to reply in the way she did. She was very surprised at my forthrightness. All she could say was "okay." I'm tired of people thinking they can say anything and try to play it off. I'm going to make that correction every time. I'm also going to be sure not to do any of these things myself.
@shy_toad7884
Жыл бұрын
Aww, I totally agree that was wildly insensitive, but I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Pets are our family members, too. Even if it's known that a said family member is suffering from chronic & progressive health problem(s), losing him/her is still heartbreaking.
@MilkPudding
Жыл бұрын
Giving unsolicited advice and conversational narcissist are the WORST, yet they are sooo common.
@brandonp7503
Жыл бұрын
1:33 She really said, "Yeah, I'm really worried about how the war and refugee crisis in Europe is going to impact my vacation to Italy. It's been hard enough to get one planned with all these people dying of disease." Lol
@DuhaMohammad
Жыл бұрын
I can't believe how some interviewers are so shameless they're determined to have an answer no matter how uncomfortable the guest feels!
@nilocblue
Жыл бұрын
The narcissist one is super common I find. I try to avoid it, but it’s tough
@giarcnella66
Жыл бұрын
These are spot on. Lord knows we all have people in our lives that do this kind of stuff.
@TheNavarro6767
Жыл бұрын
Well you must be really charismatic and popular, because you're inferring you have never done this "kind of stuff."
@TheMusicscotty
Жыл бұрын
Plenty of examples of what not to do if you're watching The View.
@CasualVideoGamer
Жыл бұрын
I'm severly guilty of conversation narcissism, but it's always on that well-intended sort of way. Like I'm just trying to relate to the person. I swear I'm not trying to be selfish, just trying to be relatable. I basically have issues showing empathy so I try to compensate for that by saying things someone that's good with empathy would say.
@goldencookie5456
Жыл бұрын
Bruh I legit have some kind of phobia of being perceived as a "conversation narcissist". That's why I'm always hesitant and scared to share literally anything about myself, even when people ask me. Some weird kind of social anxiety.
@CasualVideoGamer
Жыл бұрын
@@goldencookie5456 Felt! I'm sure your friends realize you're just trying your best to relate!
@RacingSnails64
Жыл бұрын
9:07 Lmaooo I love how she said that 😂😂❤️
@AlicinhaEstudante
5 ай бұрын
Wow, ive watched plenty of videos from this channel but this is definitely the best one This video HAS to get to those people that have no clue how to talk to a human being. Or like a human being.
@gardenboydon
Жыл бұрын
This one made me cringe. So insightful
@themanyone
Жыл бұрын
These boil down to merely paying attention to the other person, whether they are receptive or emotional, interested or reflecting. Being able to do that saves a lot of internal thinking about what not to do (and missing out on even more of what the other person is signaling).
@MusicInMyHeart
Жыл бұрын
Damn I feel called out 😂. F’real though, makes you think about all of your prior conversations and cringe. Thank you for this video. I’m going to start applying these tips.
@Proximax9
Жыл бұрын
Adding one to the list: lying. Whether it's to impress other people or to just get out of uncomfortable situations, I see it as the biggest red flag. You can never trust anything they say and will always have to be second guessing whether they are being genuine or not.
@nonononono8194
4 ай бұрын
You can't include roasts in this, roasts are supposed to be brutal, boundary busting affairs.
@E4439Qv5
2 ай бұрын
"Well, @realdonaldtrump... At least, I will go down in history as having _ been_ the President of the United States of America." --Barack H. Obama
@willn8664
Жыл бұрын
This is why I respect podcasts from people like JJ Redick, Michael Rosenbaum and Chris Jericho. JJ Redick is a retired basketball player that interviews other basketball players and coaches. Michael Rosenbaum was the actor who played Lex Luther on Smallville and he interviews other actors. Chris Jericho is a wrestler who interviews other wrestlers. All three actually relate to the people they are having a conversation with. Regular journalists are out of touch and most likely have never experienced what the person they are interviewing. That's why a lot of their questions seem off putting.
@davidlucey1311
3 ай бұрын
Something my dad emphasize to me was that if you are in doubt about what to say then say nothing. You can almost always go back and say something it needs to be said.
@TSierra
Жыл бұрын
This is one of the best channels ever. Very well done video, good job :)
@uzmafakhar5660
Жыл бұрын
yeah
@twinrovasheikah5940
4 ай бұрын
Keep in mind that conversational narcissism can be confused with a “shift response” people who Mention similar experiences to what you’re talking about, not to make it about themselves, but to let you know that they can relate because they’ve experienced something similar.
@charliemedina8439
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for being concise with this video. No fluff, you make a point and use an example. Very much appreciated.
@jcruz2255
Жыл бұрын
2:27 This example is just so bad. Guy on the right should just talk to himself and not bother with guests if he just does this.
@bexfisch80
Жыл бұрын
I do shift response a lot, but mainly because I'm trying to relate. However, I have been working on that lately. One that I really don't like being done to me is when someone asks me a question and then they immediately interrupt me. Sometimes I don't even get my answer out so I just sit there and don't respond. Half the time they don't even notice.
@kidlazer
Жыл бұрын
You don't know how useful your videos are👍🏾🔥 Keep doing more of these
@Mutrax4706
3 күн бұрын
tbh i accidentally did this with a friend some time ago. well we were friends cuz i graduated highschool she was talking about feeling unwell about something, so i wanted to give her a bit of my experience to let her know she wasnt alone about it, but then it turned into most of the convo being about me and my experience, until i had to go
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