A narcissist demands respect yet does nothing to be respectful.
@jacquelinejones2676
2 жыл бұрын
I got assaulted today right outside my apartment 😢😢😢
@sheilagunn2836
Жыл бұрын
omg!! that's so true!
@IANA2030
Жыл бұрын
Louder pls
@rppope1006
Жыл бұрын
Sadly I gave my narc(mom) unearned respect and she still complained that "it's not the right kind of respect"
@dracodoitbest7890
Жыл бұрын
@@jacquelinejones2676 dam and you just took that
@simonwalker7090
4 жыл бұрын
Another trait of a narcissist is that every conversation has to be about them.
@montanas4174
4 жыл бұрын
So true; but the signs were there just another one i missed before i ended up married to one; so much any longer can lead losing my mind.
@tonytingles4230
4 жыл бұрын
Thats so annoying!!! My Nex was into fitness and all she would do is talk about her physique and her resting heart rate etc
@brandyleegambill3763
4 жыл бұрын
simon walker yes, my husband told me today... life needs to revolve around him for a change.
@len1045678
4 жыл бұрын
And always think someone is jealous of them. They make u feel special and dicard you after
@ruebencristobal7790
4 жыл бұрын
Sounds like modern day rappers
@luvwings
3 жыл бұрын
They don’t give respect but they demand it
@littleredrose6254
3 жыл бұрын
"Keep your inner peace, even though that's not a person of peace that's in front of you." Wise words.
@benbuda5857
4 жыл бұрын
They also fear someone who is confident and can think for themself.
@lauraJa777
4 жыл бұрын
oh ya!
@Blueocean881
4 жыл бұрын
The antidote.
@shawnbrunelle3527
4 жыл бұрын
@@Blueocean881 YUP!
@alysencameron361
4 жыл бұрын
Ain't that the truth! All the energy and time they waste not learning about themselves.
@shawnbrunelle3527
4 жыл бұрын
@@alysencameron361 I seriously just got yelled at for doing research and watching these videos, and the more she tried to throw me off the sent the more she ensnared herself. too much energy for sure!
@SarahSmith-nr2wj
4 жыл бұрын
It's because they are stuck developmentally at age 3. A person who is like this should not be given any power, they need a lot of therapy, but unfortunately they are not self aware enough to realise it.
@kenritch3941
4 жыл бұрын
That's what I think too........
@marymoen5728
4 жыл бұрын
Until they wreck an entire family.
@svartvist
4 жыл бұрын
The only therapy that works on them, if at all, is hard knocks. Like you say, in essence, their world view prevents them from self-examination, which is the root of genuine "therapy." They're overgrown spoiled toddlers, stuck in a fantasy they require everyone they know to collude with. Donald Duck comes to mind...
@frankgeniusza1524
4 жыл бұрын
It's literally impossible for them to be self aware.
@juancarlosp.f9519
4 жыл бұрын
svartvist I don’t think they’re spoiled brats because my friend was abused not spoiled. Although some things don’t add up.
@TazHall
4 жыл бұрын
Don't take gifts from them. The strings attached eventually form a web.
@turkeyrunfarms
4 жыл бұрын
T-Zay deep
@dwightstjohn6927
4 жыл бұрын
Interesting point. I just found out my brother accepted for decades a small pension from our dad, two years after dad passed. It shut him up, and/or had him playing "career diplomat" when he should have been taking a stand. Basically, dad bought his silence on family issues. It has me writing my brother off for good. I've lost him, but actually it was decades ago. I just found out now!!
@christinanorman3507
4 жыл бұрын
I’ve never heard it said so completely correct. Well done.
@amythompson6869
4 жыл бұрын
This is describing my elderly mother soooo much! She’s been this way her entire life. She made my grandparents’ life a living hell. Now I’m 55 & she STILL wants to control my life. If she does something nice for us, we owe her. When I go to repay her she refuses to accept it. She wants repaid by controlling my life. If I do something she deems not acceptable she tells us she disowns us. She talks over us & hangs up the phone. I fixed a very nice dinner & invited her & my mother-in-law over. My mom showed herself royally before dinner was even on the table & ordered my son to take her home. I had just gotten a text from my half sister that our dad had passed away. I told her I’d rather change the subject as she was sitting there going on about dad. That’s what set her off. She hasn’t spoken to me for 2 weeks except for when I called her. She yelled at me & told me it was my fault! No condolences or anything! SMH! I guess I’m just going to have to get used to the fact that my mom is crazy. I’m much happier without talking to her.
@Laskagleex
4 жыл бұрын
That's actually a classic bpd move. But yeah, most borderlines have narcissistic traits.
@nanaofaiden9743
3 жыл бұрын
Awww cute doggy napping! 1. Disrespect 2. Fear of abandonment 3. Criticism 4. Being teased 5. Being exposed (not allowed to speak of their mistakes) ...always the victim 6. Fear of Being irrelevant 7. Fear being average Yep. Truth!
@julietteSoul
4 жыл бұрын
Walk Away and don’t try to defend yourself , it just starts them up again❣️
@calfortrump9399
3 жыл бұрын
@Juliette: 🤜💥🤛👣🙏
@heretolearn-m6v
2 жыл бұрын
Yep! It is a very sick dance, huh!
@vanessamorey3812
2 жыл бұрын
A chronic problem addict. A loser. Psycho drama queen... Enjoy your peace, it sounds like that one let you go easy. Enjoy the serenity!!! You deserve better
@jackilynpyzocha662
10 ай бұрын
I have two left feet: I'm not dancing (that dance!) :-)
@oweng7987
4 жыл бұрын
They hate it when you are genuinely better at, or more knowledgeable of, something they pretend to be an expert at. It REALLY freaks them out.
@tanyalenmark4194
4 жыл бұрын
Haha so true escpecially if your a lady
@Xenlacasa45
4 жыл бұрын
Especially when you say there’s actual research on this they will still try to stand by whatever they said.
@sookmajoaby
4 жыл бұрын
And you try to show them evidence of something you're debating and they don't want to even see it 😂
@Xenlacasa45
4 жыл бұрын
Trickbop nope they turn a blind eye and start stumbling over their words they are like robots malfunctioning 😄
@mzmonicaallday6615
4 жыл бұрын
Oliver Wade So true! Don’t show evidence that you discovered and they will refute it til the cows come home?!?!
@theyrekrnations8990
4 жыл бұрын
the narcissist is afraid of the truth . the truth does not set them free
@mairiamdebron1084
4 жыл бұрын
Theyrek Rnations yes it does, but n’s are afraid of true freedom. They are broken people.
@NurseEmilie
4 жыл бұрын
That is be cause the truth that sets people free is knowing the Truth of the gospel the Truth that Jesus talked about.
4 жыл бұрын
@@NurseEmilie there it is
@itankdatapull1594
4 жыл бұрын
So true
@thecookingshow1403
4 жыл бұрын
How do u set them free???
@nikkirobinson2543
4 жыл бұрын
I was married to one. He was incapable of expressing love after we got married. It lasted 8 years and I had to get out. He would do more for a stranger than his own family. Never would take advice.
@willjackson4505
4 жыл бұрын
Nicole Johnson My step daughter is this way... extremely weird... resents the whole house but warms up to anyone who will talk to her outside the house...
@stevechoi1134
4 жыл бұрын
Nicole Johnson that was my dad
@hauweiguy9587
4 жыл бұрын
common pattern for them
@donnawoodford6641
4 жыл бұрын
Now, you can feel lucky when you know that I was married 41 years. Very complicated.
@dianefigueroa2955
4 жыл бұрын
@@willjackson4505 ....,....................
@wanderingfree149
4 жыл бұрын
I love when my covert narcasssit sister gives me the silent treatment. So peaceful!
@lt6573
4 жыл бұрын
My Mother gave me the same recently...but this time, for the last time!! I stopped all communication with her and it's been so good for me!! Peace, healing...my self love journey is also blossoming now 🥰🙏🙏
@luvwings
3 жыл бұрын
Wish my husband would do that, but he won’t because he knows it would make me happy
@song4mozart
3 жыл бұрын
😂
@taraarrington2285
Жыл бұрын
Yayyy
@markjayw666
Жыл бұрын
So pathetic their childish games
@joannedavis1991
4 жыл бұрын
To me the best remedy to deal with narcissistic people is to simply walk away and do not look back.
@egrace3738
4 жыл бұрын
I agree. It is not worth the effort to deal with a narc. I've got better things to do. No contact.
@gumba12
4 жыл бұрын
They don’t let you as they are massive stalkers
@wolfydeku_adorbs3439
4 жыл бұрын
But wonder if you love them despite their illness?
@TheNikki284
4 жыл бұрын
It's not always that easy, unfortunately. Some of us are trapped and can only dream of escaping.
@Auntemem
4 жыл бұрын
Joanne Davis easier said than done if you share life with them, (I.e., small children.)
@johnmills3163
4 жыл бұрын
If you say ... "NO" or "THAT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME" ... it drives them crazy !!
@debbiealford4483
4 жыл бұрын
They will NOT take NO for an answer!
@johnmills3163
4 жыл бұрын
@@debbiealford4483 very true ! ... it's their way or the highway !
@homarmacario6639
4 жыл бұрын
My boss all the time 😒.
@MsLittleBarbiie
4 жыл бұрын
This is literally how I found this video. I was googling around because I just told someone No to giving them a ride. Now I do everything for that person, never say no but this time I did and it backfired
@katjo71367
4 жыл бұрын
My daughter who was two days before her seventeenth birthday told my ex-husband he was not going to drive to school, simply stated it as a matter of fact and he went crazy and beat the living s*** out of her. They hate being told no!
@demigaines5644
5 жыл бұрын
1) Abandonment 2) Rejection 3)Being Disrespected 4) Being Ignored 5) Being Made Fun Of 6) Narcissistic Injury. 7) Being Discarded
@rhart367
5 жыл бұрын
Lol, that list goes for anyone pretty much. Who likes any of those things? If you like those things and don't mind those things on your list then you don't love yourself much.
@brianmarshall3931
5 жыл бұрын
And they have absolutely NO sense of humor!
@ursalaoutrageous9249
5 жыл бұрын
Something I wrote when remembering a narcissist I once knew: You seat yourself on lofty heights while pushing me below. The things I could not quite discern were things you claimed to know. And so you lord it over me with power you don’t deserve As if you’re here to be enthroned and I am here to serve. I took the tasks up willingly, convinced that it was right To be your willing servant and struggle with my might In attempts to please you, but you always raised the bar So I could never reach it- that’s just the way you are. It has finally dawned on me- it’s not my fault at all. For I’m the one who has the heart; you only have the gall. Your kingdom falls around you now-you cannot rule alone Without a willing servant here to bow before your throne. I now declare my freedom from your autocratic rule. I’m sorry I believed in you. I was a willing fool. I have learned my lesson now, but you may never learn That respect can’t be demanded-It is something that you earn. Nancy Clay, Oct 5, 2019
@yaabima2
4 жыл бұрын
This is beautiful and deep. Hope you don't mind if I re-post it?
@actsfittolead
4 жыл бұрын
Wow. That was awesome. Nailed it for me as well. Thank you.
@ursalaoutrageous9249
4 жыл бұрын
Miriam J. Osei thank you so much. I’d be honored.
@DreamingCatStudio
4 жыл бұрын
Beautifully said. Thank you.
@jessicakuhn2543
4 жыл бұрын
So awesome.... may I send it to my brother? We have a sister who is 100% a narcissist and we have all dropped her. Unfortunately she has taken our Mother and placed her in a nursing home and we aren’t allowed to even see her without her permission and with her there. Needless to say both my brother and I have been written out of the will with her taken over and changed it. She sold the house and we have no idea what she has done with the contents. She is wearing three hat, power of attorney, heath care proxy, and executor of the will. We have nothing. We are walking away from her and what she thinks is important.
@mihaela255
4 жыл бұрын
A narcissist is a very weak person, that's why he or she became narcissist during hard circumstances of their lives. The strongger ones, become empath in same circumstances.
@travismcdaniel2034
2 жыл бұрын
Truth!
@blackntantoad268
2 жыл бұрын
I’m finding it very hard to be respectful… as an ubhigheredguacted person I wanna curse so bad. I was watching videos about electricity and came across this, thanks google. I married a narcissist and just figured it out. Never knew. For about the last four years I’ve been ready to jump off a bridge thinking I’m the asshole that fucking ruined her life. I’m not sure what she runs across on her “social media” excursions but I feel like mine keep pointing me in some directions that I don’t want to go. I want her to be the one but fuck. Leap before you look.. fml
@loukiatomlinson3198
Жыл бұрын
Yes!!
@califdad4
4 жыл бұрын
was married to someone I honestly believe is a narcissist, it doesn't happen at once, It happens over time and gets worse and worse.
@antoniaang5542
4 жыл бұрын
Me too
@califdad4
4 жыл бұрын
@@antoniaang5542 and its not fun
@ThangNguyen-kk1wh
4 жыл бұрын
It's better the FROG jumped out the saucepan...water will warm up sooner...
@user-fi4mh9re9c
4 жыл бұрын
we are survivours
@macfeoffensivemacflatearth9887
4 жыл бұрын
How true
@mileynick88
4 жыл бұрын
When I started to treat him as he did me, he started to say I was rude now ...
@aaratiwasudeo1027
4 жыл бұрын
Haha same pinch ..exactly what happened with me
@barbarabateman87
4 жыл бұрын
YEP, When I said something back I'm the bad person now! That why he is by himself now!!!
@alexarihani2902
4 жыл бұрын
Typical..be they flew into a rage.
@avazworld6549
4 жыл бұрын
Over anything especially if I worship God (he will say " you're as Christian as my big toe" after he tore up my Bible in my daughter's nursery!) So I started chanting Buddhism for peace he came in said you're not sitting correctly to do that
@Fatherlunaa
4 жыл бұрын
And if you point it out/say what you are doing. They will disagree and deny their part, in one way or another. No matter how plainly obvious. I have said “see, it doesn’t feel very nice does it” one too many times to know that it will never sink in. It will never even try to register in their brains. It just bounces right off. So they’d throw an anger, fury fit. Because..?
@mikebeam822
4 жыл бұрын
And everything they are 'afraid' you are going to do, they will constantly do to you.
@ajohonly3721
4 жыл бұрын
Mike Beam right 🤷♀️ like wtf ? My mil is this
@Aaron-bg2oz
4 жыл бұрын
Great way of putting it
@TonaldDrump686
4 жыл бұрын
Same with conversations/arguments. They know what you’re going to say because they’ve been manipulating you. They say the words/phrases that you want to say before you can. Sometimes they just repeat what you said in a different way. I noticed this from two diff narcs. I call it mirroring because no real communication is happening. Just a fool trying to stand up to A narc....hahaha good luck with that. I say fool because it’s a waste of time to try and explain. Narc knows exactly what’s happening and enjoys it thoroughly.
@Fatherlunaa
4 жыл бұрын
Does that also mean the things the consistently accuse you off, they are most likely doing, themselves ??
@ashleycurrwun4473
4 жыл бұрын
Always project it onto you. Accusing you of cheating lying stealing...you deny it because...it’s not the truth but you will not win.
@OHMaven1
4 жыл бұрын
Tactics to not let a narcissist harm you: 1) They cannot hurt you if you don’t need them! I.e. you don’t need their love/approval/friendship/relationship/company, etc. 2) If you have to engage/be with them at a family function, be as pleasant and superficial as possible! Be as boring as a gray rock! Find ways to busy yourself after your initial greeting. Find kitchen duties to tend to; walk the dog; offer to run to the store; or excuse yourself to make an important telephone call. 3) If they openly criticize you or are unfair to you, respond, don’t react! For example if they criticize someone you love, you could say “I am sorry, but that is not how I view ________! I know her/him to be a wonderful person whom has never hurt me! 4) They are equal opportunity offenders! Once they realize they cannot hurt you/control you, they will move on to their next target!
@HisWordisLife4U
4 жыл бұрын
1) The truth 2)your independence 3)exposing their true self in front of others 4)being alone 5)Their true self 6)You leaving them without narc supply 7)being upstaged
@sunflower5749
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you!!! Signed, your ADHD friend. 💜
@1c2h3e4u5n6g
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you very much 👍🌷👏
@dr.lavanyambbs.surgeon9073
3 жыл бұрын
💯💯💯💯
@dedeefitzpatrick8710
2 жыл бұрын
Dr. C, your videos are saving my sanity. My landlord (where I rent a room) is a full-on narcissist... and your videos are teaching so much! Thank you!😄
@charlesmichael9188
4 жыл бұрын
My life was full of anxiety, depression, fear. Why? Mom was a severe Narcissist.
@gkjunior4189
4 жыл бұрын
Same dude
@lt6573
4 жыл бұрын
Me too, until I learned my own worth and value in life...and don't need my Mother's approval or validation anymore!! I stopped all communication with her, my enabling father and my narcissistic brother and feel a huge weight lifted from me 🙏🙏
@anflow677
4 жыл бұрын
LoveWarrior1111 exactly!! Me too ! I’m glad you realized your worth ! 😘🙏🏽💗
@miladydewinter8551
3 жыл бұрын
Mother AND Grandmother- a double dose of Evil
@SublimeLullaby
3 жыл бұрын
Same
@elizabethblane201
4 жыл бұрын
"Keep your inner peace." That is the secret to happiness, even with a narcissist floating through your life.
@Letsgocamping143
4 жыл бұрын
So hard to do.
@angelagibson5514
4 жыл бұрын
I agree this information is good. I am so grateful for all this knowledge it helps whip I deal with.
@elizabethblane201
4 жыл бұрын
@Dawn Heath You're right, Dawn, it is hard, because part of us wants to believe that the narcissist is really interested in what we have to say, so we engage with them as if they were a normal, reasonable person, expecting a normal response. Ha ha! I've gotten fooled so many times, but now I've learned not to fall into their traps.
@melanie.l6282
4 жыл бұрын
yes but not so easy!!
@Keekonuts
4 жыл бұрын
What a lofty idea.....sheesh.
@waterfull2907
4 жыл бұрын
Give them NO attention! Best medicine.😏
@fkvtsxhk
3 жыл бұрын
Is that mean silent treatment, is that make us one of them?
@lisamarieromeo6122
3 жыл бұрын
@@fkvtsxhk thats what I thought? But no when its to protect yourself im dealing with a 23yr old woman with child that has turned on me cause I've studied all psychopath narcissistic covent behaviours. I met this girl walking my dog and I could sense darkness off her like some type of fear anxiety. I kept getting vibes to leave but I'd pity her and child. How stupid was I. Its my greatest downfall. I felt for the baby 1half yr. I met her just passing and she seemed lonely and said she had no help no family that she was alone. Later on I seen hertwice but never any more than 3wks. Then she started trying to test me see how much I'd jump for her , asking can I get smoke off u, skins , painkillers , I wouldn't give her pain killer . I even got food for her and she wanted money instead for drink. If I'm after saying im sick in bed she was expecting me to get up out my sick bed and walk around to her with smokes. Skins, then it became money. I told her keep it but I knew that I asked her for nothing but she gave my dog some bread 1slice. Nothing else well thrown out my face. I have copd and I was tested covid, im on antibiotics and steroids she was told I was in college sick that I can't talk. Then my mate turned up and said a friend off mine passed away. She texted my phone I asked her to leave speaking till later as I had lend my phone to friend. Well all she wasn't happy with that so she kept texting all abuse to my phone knowing my friend was using it. I had texted her again pls stop texting my business and abuse to my phone ill talk later on my friend died. She said to my friend I was talking about him and other lies. why was he there. This was last 6 days now . I have been even brought into her argument with ppl I didn't even know threatening my home. Over her not wanting to pay some bill but I told her leave me alone. All from no contact she then used my Christian beliefs against me how can i be a Christian if I don't jump and pity her . Then she said im holding a sharp blade against my wrist and my son is watching me ill do it. Answer me. She then said I gave u a slice of bread all cause i asked for space due to been sick and grieving . That I'd never ask her for anything just space. Please don't turn anything around on yourself. Thats what they do to us all time so we must re program ourselves to know its not your fault u want to be free from someone trying to maliplate u or trying to emotionally control you. Abuse you into submission. We are empaths. We feel like how would we like to be treated like that but they don't think of our hurt they are causing. They love to see us hurt but we are not like that we always want to fix the hurt big mistakes for me. Its my downfall. They love good or bad supply once they get it so no contact best option. its all about them putting bait out to fish hook us onto there cycle again. Be kind to yourself. Don't feel like saving anyone but yourself because you need to find your peace of mind to be free from the puppet masters control. God bless you 🙏 What kind friend leaves me like this. I helped this girl out and let myself lose my peace of mind
@GraceCanadaful
3 жыл бұрын
@@lisamarieromeo6122 - it is 'covert ' not 'convent'. You need help...
@lisamarieromeo6122
3 жыл бұрын
@@GraceCanadaful just cause I missed spelled a word i need help r u for real.
@delorestaylor8114
3 жыл бұрын
That gray rock makes their head explode 💣🧨💣🧨
@EriCraftCreations
3 жыл бұрын
Exactly! My neighbor demands respect but never shows it to us. She wants to control us and we refuse to follow through with what she wants. She has no control over our property and she hates it.
@funlovinbloke6266
5 жыл бұрын
Seven things narcissist's most fear. One of them is that you see through their façade and they lose control of the situation. Another one is losing the other for their emotional fuel.
@s7449
5 жыл бұрын
Raoul Kleijntjens I totally agree.
@emiliacooper1820
5 жыл бұрын
Agreed!!! When they losing the other for their emotional fuel... that is crucial for them “ fuel” “ for the narc is the blood for their heart “ that can bring o lot of damaging in their emotional lives.
@Miss_Wonderful1
5 жыл бұрын
Raoul Kleijntjens So true. My ex fled when he realized I wasn't paying attention to his bs anymore.
@BewearTheAWAKENING
5 жыл бұрын
And the more they fear, the more they lose. The more they lose, the more they fear. Its a self fulfilling prophecy that escalates. Hence, their lack, nay, complete absence of humanity.
@hairrus7278
5 жыл бұрын
@@judyscheiber3661 if a woman threatens to leave them , they will put out she's a Transvestite so other men will run from her. Even if the woman gave birth to kids. He knows he can cast doubt in people's minds. Shameful!!!!!
@geofluf
4 жыл бұрын
#0 rule-if you recognize without doubt your partner as being a narcissist, run! Get away from them, they will eventually bring you down. It's a constant struggle with them. I am in my second year of therapy after a 5 years relationship with such a person. I ended up having very low self-esteem, increased anxiety and panic attacks. It's not worth it.
@cathyhansen7715
3 жыл бұрын
They really don't like it when you treat them the way they treat you, I'm not with the guy anymore
@susanmadison6466
4 жыл бұрын
I just left my narc of 30 years. I know I can no longer be with him. I know I would lose a part of me if I go back. I feel for him though. I feel for the little boy who was broken because of the environment he grew up in. However my love cant heal him.
@pounamubts7802
4 жыл бұрын
sometimes letting go is the Love
@zeek9697
4 жыл бұрын
Exactly Susan💔
@ladyshrink22222
4 жыл бұрын
Susan Madison very mature and sane of you to understand you can never heal that deep wound you did not make.
@michellewitter9814
4 жыл бұрын
Neither can my love... deep, genuine love heal my broken husband of 20 years.. i feel so sorry for him
@sunnygirl87
4 жыл бұрын
Wow. Congratulations. I think my husband is either a narcissist or I am? Could I be gas lit? I guess I need to make a decision, is this bbn worth it?
@m.f.richardson1602
5 жыл бұрын
Narcissists, can Dish It out. But, can't take it. NO CONTACT. Great video. Thank you
@lindabaer6603
5 жыл бұрын
So True!
@garyanderson9467
4 жыл бұрын
Sound like anybody in the news to you?
@FatFrogChonk
4 жыл бұрын
Very much so. My ex boyfriend would punch me in the arm so hard as a "joke" if I even dared say anything about him, even if I'm repeating what he's said about himself. It's okay for him to abuse or joke about someone else but you better run if you do the same to him.
@garyanderson9467
4 жыл бұрын
@@FatFrogChonk Good think he's an ex. Hope you don't make that mistake again.
@FatFrogChonk
4 жыл бұрын
@@garyanderson9467 I spent 2 and a half years in hell with him thinking I could help. Every day was something new, worse and I was his prime target to vent his anger onto. I chose a partner that was almost like my mother. Invalidating, abusive, controlling, selfish and shallow. I'm happy to say that because of him, I know what I don't want in a partner if I ever decide to date again and won't make the same mistake. I'm pretty damaged after catering all these years to him. I need to piece myself back together before I even decide to date.
@AikoFox
4 жыл бұрын
They can't think genuinely think for themselves and your level of self awareness and independent thought threatens them. I say, let them fear what is great about you and continue to shine because all they want to do is dull it to try and get you to stoop to their level💜 Shine baby, shine!
@j.g.m.6180
4 жыл бұрын
So this all adds up to insecurities within themselves. Highly manipulative people that have a need to control their environment!
@ddaley001
4 жыл бұрын
J.G. M. Yes, they take no proactive role in their happiness, just reactive.their focus is external, never internal.my observations with several narcs. It’s like they are actors in a play with all eyes on them. Which is exactly how it should be .. if you catch my drift...
@octaviajohnson6989
4 жыл бұрын
Canipulative Canniving and Manipulative
@alysencameron361
4 жыл бұрын
Because they have no self control!
@jdtracy
3 жыл бұрын
Single best advice on YT: Keep your inner peace even though that's not a person of peace in front of you.
@prodbybia1072
4 жыл бұрын
Grown sad little angry people 🤦🏿♂️
@user-uo7wg5br8n
4 жыл бұрын
Toddlers in adult bodies. Black holes in skinsuits.
@miraclesforus2
4 жыл бұрын
Black holes in meat suits!
@majorsolutionsllc
4 жыл бұрын
Children in adult bodies.
@raymondgarafano8604
4 жыл бұрын
@@user-uo7wg5br8n running around with their heads so far up their back- sides you could literally roll them around like a hoop.
@user-uo7wg5br8n
4 жыл бұрын
@@raymondgarafano8604 They are the ultimate contortionists. They are so full of shit that their eyeballs are brown and you can smell them coming a mile away.
@martieeves4056
4 жыл бұрын
And they are dangerous, they are capable of killing or hiring someone to do it for them. If they're pissed off enough at you for not being their supply anymore, try divorcing them, but watch your back. They do not want you to leave. They will try to stop you any way they can. Make sure you're safe.
@garyanderson9467
4 жыл бұрын
Got that right. I made the mistake of going into business with a narcissist. and it became a damn nightmare. When he didn't get his way he threatened about everything and unfortunately he had the money and the means to pretty much do it and was willing to sacrifice anything to get his way. I finally just flat out quit and walked away so he couldn't manipulate or control me anymore. The smartest decision I ever made. It had gotten to the point where I would have killed him if I thought I could get away with it. Fortuntely, the asshole died not too long afterwards but i still have nightmare about the monster every once in a while, but it's decreasing.
@amadiohastruck4331
4 жыл бұрын
Wooow
@havefaithinGod715
4 жыл бұрын
First apply grey rock then separate slowly...pretend to be upset when they discard you...it becomes much more manageable to cut them off this way....during subsequent hoovering applying grey rock again helped me...i pretended to be living a very boring life..
@virginiasanderson519
4 жыл бұрын
@@garyanderson9467 wow dude! Just wow!
@garyanderson9467
4 жыл бұрын
@@virginiasanderson519 I should have listened to my brother. He warned me.
@Jenniferde2007
5 жыл бұрын
Just cut them off maintain a NO Contact stance and move on with your life. You cannot win in an argument with a narcissist.
@caroleannfreelingghost9404
4 жыл бұрын
Jennifer L yep
@notwhatiwasraised2b
4 жыл бұрын
...because you have boundaries and narcs probably don't
@patjones4250
4 жыл бұрын
Can't reason with an unreasonable person. Better to invest our time and energy into ourselves in moving on with our lives in a positive way. 🕊
@Jenniferde2007
4 жыл бұрын
@Red Falcon I DON'T need to win but the narcissist thinks they do and that is the difference. NO CONTACT all the way. I have a good life now and a peaceful, no drama household, and I like it that way.
@LorenaBerrenbaum
4 жыл бұрын
@@christinamclaughlin322 they are easy to spot when you learn the red flag,they all act the same..
@carolloraine223
4 жыл бұрын
My "task" is to RUN and never look back. There's no rhyme or reason to stay with liars, cheaters, and have my healrh compromised!! So happy with No Contact!!! Your life depends on getting away.
@christar9527
4 жыл бұрын
Carol Loraine I think many of us agree with that!
@joannpeele8946
4 жыл бұрын
CAROL...I just did it 2 months ago...he was covert...I believed him for 5 yrs...I was feeling like a lost soul... he's tried to contact me...and play games...
@jehnayr7949
4 жыл бұрын
I agree! I lived with one for 4 years & it was hell with him. I went to counselling for 2 years & he refused to join me. And his family couldnt understand why I didnt marry him!?! I left & he begged me to come back. Why? To take more of that? NO!! Then 3 years later I married a 43 yr old affluent engineer bachelor who became more controlling, self-centered & domineering. His male friends laughed it off. He even told me one day that he is better than everyone else & called all women names, unless they were loaded $$. Enough was enough!!! Thank God we never had children. I left the jerk, never got dime & never looked back.
@bonkeydollocks1879
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Carol, would you like to go to dinner tonight?
@barbarabateman87
4 жыл бұрын
I know I'm at Peace Thank you Lord!
@Bozakky
4 жыл бұрын
It can be particularly painful when you realize that no matter how much you love and care about another human being, there is nothing you can do to fix them. Thank you for the insightful information that you have provided, not only for myself but for my friend. I am grateful.
@donnafoley9684
3 жыл бұрын
Dr. Carter, I have always said to my mother." You are like a mobster; YOU demand respect but never give it." GOD BLESS
@garyburns730
3 жыл бұрын
A narcissists aren't predators,they're vultures...They always take the path of least resistance!
@kenamaro
4 жыл бұрын
I had a “ friend “ that , no matter the idea or concept, if it was not HIS idea or concept, it wasn’t a good one !! It was like walking on eggshells.....
@715rdmail
4 жыл бұрын
Eventually they will take your ideas and present them as there own, then they are the best ideas in the world!
@georganng1548
4 жыл бұрын
I know the feeling. And everything is twisted to be my fault!!!!
@hadotonini1189
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, they are full of themselves. And they love to steal other people's ideas and take credits for it. But they'll blame you and everyone when something goes wrong.
@grnpeepers2683
4 жыл бұрын
The constant challenging of everything you say is so exhausting! Ugh!
@azuresky4984
3 жыл бұрын
I live in a family like this. My father will literally say that he's my god and if I disobey him I'll die.
@matilda4406
4 жыл бұрын
"don't let their fear trigger any fear in you", good advice to keep our head up. thank you
@caffrey1100
4 жыл бұрын
Matilda lesson learned boy too late their fear runs off on you big time but it’s sneaky you don’t see it until it’s too late live & learn ❣️
@matilda4406
4 жыл бұрын
@@caffrey1100 yes, sometimes we don't see it, but we do live and learn. Stronger next time, eh!
@caffrey1100
4 жыл бұрын
Matilda for sure doctor is great so smart love listening to him -- so many moving parts - addiction - Mental illness- People who are sick -- but he seems to sort it out good ❣️❣️❣️ one day at a time
@rossita6634
4 жыл бұрын
It's too late for me...
@caffrey1100
4 жыл бұрын
Ros Sita it’s never too late hon don’t speak t into existence never to late❣️💥❣️
@lindamichell6334
4 жыл бұрын
This is so true. I live with a narcissist. What I've discovered is that most individuals don't just have one borderline personality issues but multiples. The person I am with is not only a narcissist but is very delusional. He also has Oppositional Defiant Disorder, ADD, has multiple addictions, etc
@Cinder1987
4 жыл бұрын
It’s weird they do not have a compassionate bone in their body unless it’s towards their pets. They have very close relationships with animals in comparison to humans.
@NdnUrbanCat
4 жыл бұрын
Whoa!
@conniecrawford5231
4 жыл бұрын
urthebest1122 They Have closer relationships with dogs because dogs are submissive by nature and don’t judge people. Tyrants hate cats because they are independent and can’t be controlled. I adore both cats and dogs so I’m not being critical of a dog’s total dedication but animals don’t talk and only can express themselves through their actions.I’ve never known a dog who didn’t love unconditionally.
@Cinder1987
4 жыл бұрын
Connie Crawford Yes, the narcissist I know has 2 dogs and 3 ferrets. Go figure.
@JennSGibbs
4 жыл бұрын
When I left my husband with my child he screamed at me.... I'm sick of bonding with animals and then loosing them 😂 so much for us
@LDT7Y
4 жыл бұрын
I noticed this too. Not all dog lovers are narcs, but all narcs seem to love dogs and hate cats. You can't control a cat. They have a mind of their own and will only give affection when and if they decide to. My narc ex hated my cat and I could never work out why. He would always demand that we get a dog once we got our own house.
@teachersusanute199
5 жыл бұрын
Fear of being exposed. When I finally broke the silence and went to a counselor he went with me. The counselor was really good and after a couple of sessions my husband said he didn‘t need that and that he‘d move out. And he did. Now I know how lucky I was that he moved out. 😁At the time I was crushed because I still believed we could mend our marriage. My counselor told me that abusive pple don‘t change and that I was much better off without him. True enough 😁good riddance,
@ryanfatguyinlilcoat2436
5 жыл бұрын
Teacher Susan congrats
@gracea9932
5 жыл бұрын
My counselor told me the same too. In the midst of a divorce right now.
@teachersusanute199
5 жыл бұрын
Grace A yes, he would have never changed. Being a single mother was much easier than living with a toxic person. Congrats to your divorce and wishing you a good life free of abuse 👍🏼🌻
@tamko9563
5 жыл бұрын
Clap clap clap!
@gracea9932
5 жыл бұрын
@@teachersusanute199 Ain't that the truth! I'm less anxious and depressed, and working with the counselor to love myself again. It's hard but after I left, things just kind of fell in place. I got more support and love than I ever expected and I feel truly blessed. Happy to live life again without walking on eggshells!
@TheNCWrapRevolution
3 жыл бұрын
Ty ty ty! I am trying to save my 16 year marriage with a full blown narcissist and you deserve to know that your short videos have given tremendous help to a wife who wants to salvage a partnership. Its perspective. You are clear and concise. You are easy to follow, even during crisis mode. Ty for your videos. You are a blessing to lots of ppl like me.
@pounamubts7802
4 жыл бұрын
"healthy and secure people " admit their mistakes and that they're Not perfect...secure= Mature
@andymjflemming
4 жыл бұрын
I work with lots of people who are insecure, so I disagree they are all narcissistic
@andymjflemming
4 жыл бұрын
Many insecure people try really hard to please others. That's not how a narcissist works
@patricialemire6738
4 жыл бұрын
These videos have allowed me to see my illness for a lifetime as a narcissist and begin my search for becoming different and making a new life today .
@montanas4174
4 жыл бұрын
@@patricialemire6738 hi i hope i have read comment correctly in what you said. Am dealing with a narcissistic wife an we have a child together an my life has been such a misery to a point i cant take no more. How did you came to realisation of your narcissistic behaviour? I would love to know as of till now i didnt realise there was a turning point. Hope you can help
@montanas4174
4 жыл бұрын
@@patricialemire6738 what made you want you watch these videos? Your answer can be something amazing in such a way in helping others out there with such an illness where they to aren't aware of
@carefulcarpenter
5 жыл бұрын
*To know love is to know trust; to know oneself is to know truth.* 🌿🐡
@AmandaLee-it1ns
5 жыл бұрын
carefulcarpenter .. thank you
@deeb8733
4 жыл бұрын
God is Love. To know God is to know Truth.
@notwhatiwasraised2b
4 жыл бұрын
@@deeb8733 which god(s)?
@deeb8733
4 жыл бұрын
@@notwhatiwasraised2b The One True God of The Bible.
@notwhatiwasraised2b
4 жыл бұрын
@@deeb8733 Why not 'The One True God' of Islam or the gods of Hinduism?
@biancabriolivingstone6263
4 жыл бұрын
My mother is a narcissist and huge negative in my life. I've always been afraid that it has been me. Maybe a year or so ago we got in to an argument and I finally found the courage to tell her how I felt, that I was terrified to talk to her. All she had to say was, "don't you dare call me a bad mother." Nothing else on it. That resonated, and it hurt. To this day it hurts. I have always been a sensitive soul but nothing hurts like her. Thank you for your videos in helping me understand her, they have been nothing but helpful.
@destinyknight2410
3 жыл бұрын
This happened to me just yesterday with my narcissistic step-mother. I laid out everything for her to hear and genuinely tried to get her to understand how afraid I am in my own house around her. All she had to say was how "overdramatic" I was, mocked me about everything I said, and said point blank that I need professional help. I shut down and just had a mental breakdown while she watched with a smirk on her face. I am trying to just live my life but it's hard when the person who loves to make your life hell is living with you and watching your every mood, waiting for you to make a mistake.
@kidsmoked
5 жыл бұрын
The landmines one needs to avoid when speaking with a narcissist. That’s why it’s nigh impossible. You need to devalue yourself pretty much as to not threaten them.
@annebooyse1112
5 жыл бұрын
Totally true.☺
@JohnSmith-cz3us
5 жыл бұрын
kidsmoked no you don’t. Just grey rock. It works perfectly. Tune them out when physically present and avoid them when you can. Narcissists are easy to spot and deal with after you’ve dealt long-term with one. Be boring but maintain your self respect. They aren’t worth putting yourself down over.
@elanabethfariss117
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah. Someone I don't even know, thinks they have me all figured out. Oh look, she wears her heart on her sleeve, I can so devour this one and spit her right back out. Guess again, I'm not that simple and not so desperate.
@JohnSmith-cz3us
4 жыл бұрын
Elana Fariss that’s the right mentality. So long as you remain neutral and don’t give them much, you’ll just blend into the background.
@eberjom9119
4 жыл бұрын
#1 rule-if you're in a relationship with one, stop trying to change them. It won't work!
@SurvivingNarcissism
4 жыл бұрын
So right! Dr. C
@dadoq1052
4 жыл бұрын
You're not supposed to try changing anybody at all.🤷♂️
@gillianbrookwell1678
4 жыл бұрын
@@SurvivingNarcissism No they will never change. It took me 40 years to realize that my husband was a narcissist, thinking the relationship was normal until I confronted him and finally I had to get away for my sanity. It was the most challenging move I'd ever made in my life.
@Gamez4eveR
4 жыл бұрын
Actually that's the #2 rule. #1 rule is get the fuck out of that relationship
@paolamura3497
3 жыл бұрын
For more than 50 Years I thought everyone had the right to be oneself...After discovering I was married to a narc I have changed my opinion
@idoskidsattheawesomeauzzie9255
3 жыл бұрын
This “NARCISSIST” sounds like EVERY Politician, Police, Teacher I have EVER KNOWN
@sherrim4067
5 жыл бұрын
They are fearful of being out of control. My narc got really upset when I decided to go to Florida to visit my adult son for his birthday. He couldn't go, so he assumed I would stay home too. So when he said I can't watch the dog because he's working. He figured I would not go, or I couldn't afford a kennel or pet service. Wrong again, I took my dog with me and we had a grand time! They have a fear of being out manuvered. The time away did me a world of good! I highly recommend a quick 72 hours away from a narc.
@sugarbum99
5 жыл бұрын
Or for good
@sherrim4067
5 жыл бұрын
@@sugarbum99 I hear.that!
@sherrim4067
5 жыл бұрын
Strangers were polite, and asked about the dogs. One nice couple bought my lunch when I was outside at a table with.the dogs.when I went.to pay for.it, it was already paid for. The note said " thank you for rescuing such a.sweet dog, good luck in your.travels home" It restored my faith in man kind.
@jehnayr7949
4 жыл бұрын
When I lived with my very good-looking, humorous narc for 4 years, his family couldn't understand why I wouldn't marry him!? He finally admitted he had been court ordered to go to AA mgs, never attended & forged attendance the week before I met him. His chronic lies & hot temper escalated, increased verbal & emotional abuse but not physical abuse. I was a company mgr & he worked part-time jobs. For 19 months, he told me I couldn't see my family out of state! I finally told him I wanted to see them, even for Christmas Eve & the guilt he laid on me was horrible. I did go, but only gone 23 hours, out of fear & my family all told me to leave him ASAP!! I flew back to him, only to be told as I walked in the door that he returned ALL my Christmas presents under the tree & that I "didn't deserve" any presents. I left his presents there, flipped him off & stayed at a motel on Christmas, alone. The next day 3 friends helped me move out of that house. He was there, acted surprised, stunned & said, "Babe, you're the love of my life. I love you so much. Why are you leaving me?" 🤤!! I never once looked back! Advice: STAY FAR, FAR AWAY FROM NARCISSISTS!!
@JennSGibbs
4 жыл бұрын
How about a life time away
@gisellesinclair6811
4 жыл бұрын
Great video. My mom was a narcissist and I discovered years ago I had inherited some of her narcissistic tendencies and it was something I didn’t like about myself. I read that true narcissists never change because they can’t do the self-reflection necessary. I consider myself lucky that I was only a partial narcissist
@kylebaker3616
4 жыл бұрын
Glad I found this comment through all the "narcissists will never change and they're demons" comments. Same situation here except from my dad. It's hard to learn to how to fix yourself when everyone just says "it can't be fixed". Seems like that mindset would just trap people in that role with no way out.... doomed to a life of failed relationships and making everyone around you miserable. I almost decided to just embrace and utilize it to the best of my ability if I was doomed to live with it forever.
@donnabarden4494
4 жыл бұрын
Kyle Baker, obviously you have been studying all about narcissists, so now you have basically seen how your life is, and you have shared a bit about yourself, now you can go and get help cant you, I hope you do best wishes .
@victoria11128
4 жыл бұрын
I ve been worried I'm a narcissist as well because my mother is one. I keep analyzing myself to the point of exhaustion in fear that I am like her. I know for sure that I switch to narcissist mode when I feel attacked and abused by her. It's kind of like self defense.I'm just not sure to what extent I keep these narcissistic traits throughout the rest of my life and while interacting with others.
@victoria11128
4 жыл бұрын
@Sarah Plummer thank you for your reply, it's been comforting and reassuring... I went no contact with her to find my peace and balance but it just had the opposite effect. Her texts and emails have been terrorizing me, her flying monkeys have been exhausting me, her lies about me and our relationship to everyone has been frustrating me. I ended up doubting if I made the right decision to go no contact, I've been feeling as if I got myself in a war, while all I needed was peace and quiet. At this point I feel completely shattered and poisoned by all the toxic feelings that I have just by thinking about her
@victoria11128
4 жыл бұрын
@Sarah Plummer thank you. I needed some encouragement from someone who knows what it's like to be in such a situation. As you said, I need to remember that it's not me who is the problem and so far most of our mutual contacts try to convince me that there's something wrong with me and that has been creating for me constant self doubt and frustration. Thank you again
@wolfae7065
4 жыл бұрын
Dude PREAAACH!! I spent this entire video nodding my head. thank you for validating what I've gone through, and helping me prove to myself that i am not the problem x
@daisyv6211
Жыл бұрын
literally
@britt1805
5 жыл бұрын
It makes sense now why my ex would take everything as being disrespectful, as if I could never disagree with him or have my own opinions
@laurawilliams4034
4 жыл бұрын
Black black black!!! . Aren’t you gonna say. White 😡
@charlieangkor8649
4 жыл бұрын
when you meet a narcissist I recommend to think only about how to discard them with the least amount of pain.
@caffrey1100
4 жыл бұрын
Charlie Angkor amen that
@acimbobby
4 жыл бұрын
Best bit of info I ever heard, thanks
@georganng1548
4 жыл бұрын
I never laughed and cried so hard at tge same time. Great comment
@christar9527
4 жыл бұрын
🗑🗑🗑🗑That’s where they belong. Right in the trash can.
@phyllisfleming2853
4 жыл бұрын
It took me 15 years to gather all these puzzle pieces and now another 15 years to put the puzzle together. In 14 minutes and 54 seconds, Dr Carter laid out the whole picture, efficiently and concisely. Thank you!!!
@vblue3926
3 жыл бұрын
Me too.
@phyllisfleming2853
3 жыл бұрын
V Blue, I hope you situation is getting better and better as you grow stronger.
@ShabdaNet
4 жыл бұрын
So many narcissists out there! Thank you for these tools. My new rule: "Don't talk to them, don't talk about them!"
@michellecox5543
4 жыл бұрын
I have a girlfriend who is in a relationship with a narcissist. She complains about the same issues over and over. And because I have watched many of your videos, along with others, I have explained to her that he will not change. They fight a lot. Break up and get back together. She came over to my house so that we could talk. Mostly her talking about all the things that he has said or done to upset her. Plus if she does not want to go to an event that he does, he just leaves her home. He is a very typical narc that only really thinks he's important and everybody else is secondary or less. I think that a non-narc who stays in such a relationship must have very low self-esteem. Or if they do not, it will surely happen the longer they stay in such a dysfunctional relationship. I really can't imagine a healthy relationship with a narc. Is there such a thing? The non-narc is going to take a real beating from this underdeveloped, emotionally immature person. Plus there is no way to make the narc listen to anyone. They most likely will not seek help from a therapist, because they think nothing is wrong with them. Narcissists do suffer daily though. Their egos are so delicate that very few words can shatter it. They also suffer karma (the real meaning of karma) constantly. I would imagine that their thoughts are filled with turmoil since they have no inner substance. To me they seem like a shell of a person. Not a whole lot going on inside except constant self-gratification at the cost of others. Thanks for another terrific video doc! You make learning a pleasure.
@Karmelli
4 жыл бұрын
Michelle Cox this is so true. I was going through the same with my boyfriend of whom I’ve finally decided to leave after this last threat of leaving me. All of what you said is true, they love dysfunction, if it doesn’t work for them they don’t think of anyone else. The constant on and off was so draining to me. Wanting to have stability and it’s just never going to be there. It took me a while to realize I was being manipulated, and I considered myself to be a strong person, but it definitely humbled me and made me realize that even I could get caught slipping. Either way it’s a year past due, I’ve learned. No contact. I’m over it and out.
@michellecox5543
4 жыл бұрын
@@Karmelli You are strong and smart! I feel like earth is a kind of school for us to learn in body what we can't in spirit. Kinda crude, but you get my point. Just a series of events that teach us things. Some of us get the point and move on. Some of us repeat the same behaviors more than once to truly get it. I heard one other doctor on KZitem say that all of us have a bit a narcissistic traits. And as you learn more about this behavior you might agree. But these folks on are on narc-overload. In a way it's very sad. They have ruined themselves for future relationships. You can be rest assured, as you move on to a more stable happy life, that he will go through basically the same trials and tribulations over and over. He will most likely not change. So his future is pretty much guaranteed to be a turbulent one. I wish you the best of luck in your next relationship. Just keep your eyes open. Learn as much as you can about being a good partner to someone. All of us have lots of room to learn. The payoff is a happier more content way to live. Cheers kiddo!
@stacygrey4022
3 жыл бұрын
@ Michelle Cox Your last paragraph, i have been thinking the same thing.
@andreamara8542
4 жыл бұрын
My mother is one. I’ve set boundaries and have distance myself from her but my sisters have stayed and they accept her as she is. They are very miserable 😭
@jamesspada7370
4 жыл бұрын
Omg so is my mother,she so hateful always arguing, controlling, these people should be ashamed of themselves, no empathy toward me at all
@ReginaldoSRegis
4 жыл бұрын
@@jamesspada7370 So is my mother James. The characteristic traits that embody a narcissist clearly point to her, especially being self-absorbed, manipulative, delusional, combative, magical thinker, unreasonable, disrespectful, no empathy, and so on... I know she's not gonna change and it feels sad. I don't live with her, my father does, whose life seems like hell. I want to live a life of positivity and inner peace.
@jamesspada7370
4 жыл бұрын
@@ReginaldoSRegis ty so much ,it meant a lot to me,so days she cool and and some days are terrible, I smoke pot to ease the pain and let it go out one ear and out the other,arugeing just makes my mom mad ,ots like a sick game,.....
@ReginaldoSRegis
4 жыл бұрын
@@jamesspada7370 Nobody can hold a candle towards her except me. I don't talk to her anymore as engaging in one will just ignite an argument. We argue and fight most of the time as she is so impossible to deal with. When I'm upset and stressed out, I just sit back and calm down and get hold of my 'stress away' essential oil, hehe. Hope everything's fine with you today, James 😀
@jamesspada7370
4 жыл бұрын
@@ReginaldoSRegis it's hard for me. Cuz I live with her,the last few days she's been ok,hopefully she got a wake up call
@AedanGUnit
5 жыл бұрын
Look at Gus curled up in that chair ❤️
@krisluvsutube2684
5 жыл бұрын
He knows his master is a good man and definantly not a narcissist!!!
@caffrey1100
4 жыл бұрын
No Contact Sandy Williams such a good dog
@kerrycarroll5365
4 жыл бұрын
Is gus a border terrier
@turkeyrunfarms
4 жыл бұрын
Didn’t see him until I read this comment💜
@ndumi-light
4 жыл бұрын
Gus is super cute...it'd be nice to see him more often. 💖
@trishhellene2794
4 жыл бұрын
This makes a lot of sense with the man I married...worked as a CEO and played me for 17 years and now I have turned the tables on him....I don't give a damn about him and he does not like it at all.
@pemalama6597
4 жыл бұрын
Trish Gray, they hate there own game when it’s played to them but was absolutely okay play that game to us only. Now I just choose few words eg yes, ok, sure yep lot of yep, when he ask me what am I doing I paused and think does he care and asking me or just because he’s bore so then I go no responds that’s the end. I am practicing way to respond or way to reach because he’s getting lot good energy from my weaknesses. So, my apartment is lot less screaming, yelling and lot less emotional abuse.
@stacyprettyman5756
4 жыл бұрын
I’m in the same boat...😢
@trishhellene2794
4 жыл бұрын
@@stacyprettyman5756...I had to turn the tables on my husband, so I started slowly, first replying with simple yes and no ...then, going out doing my own things, meeting up with friends for coffee, lunches..sometimes dinners. My last thing was asking him to move into the spare room...that was the difficult one....but I stood firm and said there is a strange odor coming from your body at night and it is making me sick and cannot sleep....this was a lie of course ...but he got so self conscious that he went to the doctors and was told some older men do have body odor as do some women as they age ....I laughed so hard .... now he is in the spare room and I have the master. He has been more attentive now than ever before...but I do not let my guard down ... I ensure I have the upper hand now and through this I have become much stronger...I realised after all these years crying, having no self worth ...that he now feels what I have been through ... we live like sister and brother or room mates and that is fine with me. I am now independent of him ... I am now Trish who is a wonderful mother, friend and person! I am now FREE.
@CodyCole80
4 жыл бұрын
Trish Gray Awesome! But you move out if and before you ever decide to file for divorce. Sometimes, people go crazy when they realize it’s finally over. He could insist on harming you, so leave before you tell him there’s no going back.
@kemi7689
4 жыл бұрын
Narcs are great CEO, that's their domain, leave him and don't look back
@brandyleegambill3763
4 жыл бұрын
This has scared me ! This sounds like everything my husband does. My spirit is broken. He is suppose to be a Godly man. Thank you for sharing ! I need counseling.
@nancystowell4877
4 жыл бұрын
Counseling after escaping, it will only get worse if you stay!
@brandyleegambill3763
4 жыл бұрын
Nancy Stowell He makes me think it’s all me, all my fault. He is trying to distance me from my family.
@katieb1139
4 жыл бұрын
Glad I found your comment. I was married for 30 years to a narcissist. He was portraying himself as a Godly man also. Being a Godly Christian Women I believed in my vows. I was a robot on remoteI. I left three years ago, I prayed for him daily no prayers were answered, I changed my prayers to courage and conviction to leave a horrible existence, a loving God couldn’t possibly want me to live this life. God answered. I walked in to a physiologist to help me through this difficult period. My personality trait is I don’t like change, ‘better the devil you know’ attitude. Don’t underestimate your own strength, if you decide to leave. It was a hard road but I’m am so so happy on the other side. My kids and I live peacefully together. Bliss
@sammyl.h.p1010
4 жыл бұрын
Keep watching Dr.C you’ll wise up.
@brandyleegambill3763
4 жыл бұрын
Kate Hawkins We been married 9 years, I’m checking into counseling options now. I use to be so full of Joy and laughter. I feel like I’ve fallen into a deep pit and can’t get out. I don’t even know who I am anymore.
@barbaracatino1822
4 жыл бұрын
I wish I knew this stuff when my mother was alive. It's horrible being raised by one.
@bksaun
4 жыл бұрын
Barbara Catino you aren’t kidding! I know exactly what you’re talking about! I stayed away from her every minute I could!
@deeds517
4 жыл бұрын
I totally get you hon my mother is one too.i can’t be around her
@Shayra2you
4 жыл бұрын
It was ten times worse being raised by 2.
@pammcardle40
4 жыл бұрын
Yes it is! My dad is now 86 and my younger brother still lives with him and he is is so broken now and cannot escape him (won't listen to me at all). He is the flying monkey and feeds it.. so whenever my dad and I got into an argument, he would jump in the middle and defend my dad, then the argument would be turned toward my brother..with my dad shaking his head and saying we have anger issues..yea...total deflection. I was able to escape physically but the mental scars are still there and now I have to get a handle on how I interact with both of them. Long road ahead.
@Mischa21xo
4 жыл бұрын
@@Shayra2you Amen to that! Almost killed me and I am so surprised I made it out of that household alive. Was actual torture. I'm so sorry you and others had to go through that as well. Would not wish a narcissistic upbringing on anybody.
@jelw3197
5 жыл бұрын
Pray for me guys.. i have a court situation with my abusive narcissistic father .. i’m scared but i feel like he will let me go as he can be exposed is so many ways with evidence this time ..he has a split personality where he shows up to the public as a good wealthy person who want to do good for the poor but he be physically,verbally , financially abusive behind closed doors and people don’t believe us when we say he’s abusive !
@sherrim4067
5 жыл бұрын
Prayers sent.
@jelw3197
5 жыл бұрын
Sherri M thank you 🙏🏼
@jelw3197
5 жыл бұрын
Sherri M thank you 🙏🏼
@TazHall
4 жыл бұрын
May God expose everything completely. Wicked people eventually fall into their own traps. They either wake up or continue the merry-go-round. Thankfully you have the freedom not to ride it.
@gailwood3248
4 жыл бұрын
They are the best deceivers around, experts at covering their tracks, know how to pull out every trick in the book over you. Look elsewhere for life and leave this situation to to the wind. Disengage totally.
@adelataei9007
4 жыл бұрын
You are a precious jewel for this planet.thank you for your knowledge.
@stefaandecroo6774
5 жыл бұрын
Dear Dr. Carter, You are a beacon of light. Thank you for being a guide. Bless you.
@MWcrazyhorse
4 жыл бұрын
The narcissist cries out in pain as he strikes you!
@lynnebichet7733
4 жыл бұрын
Well I don't feel sorry for him/her. No one has the right to strike anyone... I don't care how 'hurt' they are. No excuses.
@aleksanderblinn4492
4 жыл бұрын
Lol
@thetruthshallsetyoufree5092
4 жыл бұрын
Demoncrats
@lolawinewinelola
4 жыл бұрын
Yes it's so sick
@thetruthshallsetyoufree5092
4 жыл бұрын
Just like the lying cheating demoncrats
@ruthfreeman2396
4 жыл бұрын
This is the most honest, revealing description of a narcissist. Thank u for your post. Profound and informative. Regards.
@fbeegle
4 жыл бұрын
You're literally a lifesaver, man; thank you again for all your videos.
@bookworm8792
5 жыл бұрын
4:10 TRUTH! So much criticism, can't take it at all. A calm discussion suddenly becomes a war.
@Lola-mt1ne
4 жыл бұрын
This is almost exactly when the narcissist past knew it was over. He could see that I did not respect him for the things he valued, and a whole storm of potential retribution came my way, which I handled with grey rock. Great presentation. Thanks.
@bradconnexion9442
5 жыл бұрын
I heard on another video you don't deal with them, you handle them like you're handling a poisonous snake. Thanks Dr C. Another insightful and valuable video. Pats to Gus!
@bradconnexion9442
4 жыл бұрын
@@The1stDukeDroklar probably not though many do. Keep healing brother or if you haven't started, begin. You're worth it and it wasn't you, it was her. Take care.
@bybloslee1439
5 жыл бұрын
Just laugh in their face they really hate that.they feel threatened.
@20greeneyes20
4 жыл бұрын
No, just move on and don't entertain their bad behavior.
@georganng1548
4 жыл бұрын
@Regina Patrice The heart of God. ( your response)
@Llaveocculto
4 жыл бұрын
It works ;but do you really want to hear them afterwards?
@Nokss87
4 жыл бұрын
@Regina Patrice you talking nonsense, I'm sorry. Clearly you don't know what this topic is really about.
@christar9527
4 жыл бұрын
Yes! That was one thing that whipped my husband into shape for starters.
@dellshannon5920
4 жыл бұрын
I dated a narcissist for 8years and didnt even know what it was back then. We have children together and he has custody .. I unfortunately have to deal with him all the time and I hate it. He will never change his controlling ways. I really wish I knew what a narcissist was back then.
@andreabuntpercy
5 жыл бұрын
That video was strong for me. Here's my biggest take away after a long-term relationship with a covert narcissist: "Don't let the narcissist's fears trigger your fears." That's my biggest challenge . Trusting my feelings; trusting other people rather than fearing them. It's starting to happen and it feels great when it does.
@sherrim4067
5 жыл бұрын
Andrea that is great advice, thank you. I lived in fear of hearing crap, and in fear of disappointing them again! Then I was in fear of feeling like crap myself. I turned it around, lightness is better then the darkness he projected on me.
@mandyl7071
5 жыл бұрын
Wow. Thank you. Great insight.
@cat-yz2ew
5 жыл бұрын
Dr. Carter, it is so painful when one has to put up a boundary to cut off all contact with a family member that is a mean narcissist..a more peaceful life is so nice, but that sinking feeling that you have deserted a pitiful needy relative is hard to put in the back of your mind..it would be nice if we could hear some encouraging videos about the fact that we have made the right choice to avoid them. Thanks for all you do!
@bellasworld8995
5 жыл бұрын
cat I agree. My narcissist father is in assisted living. I have already had my aunt tell me that I am going to feel guilty. She believes that I should “slough it off”. She said this even when he hired an attorney because I “was not being nice to him.”
@notagain779
5 жыл бұрын
@@bellasworld8995, Did your aunt say you'd feel guilty because you put him in assisted living, or because you don't go to visit him there? When my mother was in assisted living I went to see her every day, but that was because we got along. When visiting there, I noticed many sons and daughters in their 50's and 60's who would hang out in the common room to get a break, only going in their parent's room for a few minutes at a time. I got to know their stories, and it was always that the parent was so demanding and irritable, shaming and guilt - tripping. The parents don't seem to realize how much their behavior discourages people from wanting to come see them.
@69LOLIN
5 жыл бұрын
I agree, that would be good!
@bellasworld8995
5 жыл бұрын
Jeanog My father has been in an assisted living home near me for over 3 years. But he recently became so abusive and demanding that I said I couldn’t be the primary person to deal with him anymore. If my father had not been abusive off and on since I was a teenager, then perhaps I could be more patient. But his behavior was bad long before he became disabled.
@69LOLIN
5 жыл бұрын
@@bellasworld8995 I understand you. So sorry, you went through that!
@EmpressKima
4 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad I found a definition for this creature that somehow slithered it's way into my atmosphere..
@elsea8901
4 жыл бұрын
In my experience the number one thing they hate is being recognized as such and then abandoned/ignored.
@SurvivingNarcissism
4 жыл бұрын
Yep! Dr. C
@Pilot333
4 жыл бұрын
It could also be a method for ostracizing....
@danielwiltshire8131
5 жыл бұрын
When they feel they are loosing control over you ? and the situation?....if anyone else knew "He was the street angel but the house devil ".. Thank u ..I .Hope to make this live.
@marykoch1611
5 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@jelw3197
5 жыл бұрын
Daniel wiltshire yes !
@danielwiltshire8131
5 жыл бұрын
@@marykoch1611 Hey there !
@danielwiltshire8131
5 жыл бұрын
@@jelw3197 Hey there, think ive missed the live !
@annehynynen8153
5 жыл бұрын
Definitely!
@novano1100
4 жыл бұрын
My narcissist house mate (female - (we rent separate rooms in this house) accused me of watering my beautiful plants with urine. She smelled it and she was convinced she had spoke with me about it before. She brought our landlord into the drama and tried to make this big lie larger. Obsurd and out of this world. I tried to reason with her that I would never do such a vile thing. I am a plant lover and my plants are outstanding. She sucked me into this argumentative engagement once again. I was thrown off base by this obsurd accusation. I have brought myself back to realization of her traits and with the help of these videos; confirmation of my own sanity. Thank you
@MultiTetley
5 жыл бұрын
They also fear death 💀 as that is something that they cannot control and that scares them.
@MultiTetley
4 жыл бұрын
Bodie Dutch Many do though
@trappnest4490
4 жыл бұрын
@@MultiTetley True, one of my worst fear is definitely death. The fact of not existing anymore and not being able to do anything about it scares me. Plus I have the feeling of being somehow immortal
@MultiTetley
4 жыл бұрын
TRAPPNEST Thank you for your honesty. I know the thought of death does frighten a lot of people, but personally I’m really not. What I know about the after life is that it’s a much nicer place.
@trappnest4490
4 жыл бұрын
@@MultiTetley As an atheist I think that after people die, it's just over, that there's nothing else. That's probably why it's scares me so much
@MultiTetley
4 жыл бұрын
TRAPPNEST Believe me there is a after life, I always used to think that until I started receiving spirit visitations from my deceased loved ones, they always look happy and at peace. So don’t worry about that it’s real alright.
@zukoher
5 жыл бұрын
I'm not a Christian, but the bible was right when it said not to make friends with people who are quick to anger. It's a red flag whenever I see it and I always walk away from those people.
@knowledgeapplied
5 жыл бұрын
It was also right when it described, and foretold, narcissists to a T, at 2 Timothy 3:1-5.
@knowledgeapplied
5 жыл бұрын
But the real reason is found, here: Revelation 12:7-9, 10, 12
@qimatswift4829
5 жыл бұрын
That is in the Bible because God loves us and wants to help us and protect us. This is proven by God sending Himself, His son, to do the greatest act of love for all of us. You will find that all the commandments are for our own protection. God bless you and I pray that you will come to Him, our Father who loves us.
@MrEricharper
4 жыл бұрын
Are we not all quick to anger in the wrong circumstances?
@zukoher
4 жыл бұрын
@@MrEricharper in the wrong circumstances, sure, but not all the time with everything. Perhaps I should have made myself clearer.
@Chaosthemighty
3 жыл бұрын
I know a few Narcissists who blame everyone else for their own failures or mistakes. They don't even except half the responsibility in a "two way street" relationship gone bad.
@456inthemix
5 жыл бұрын
They have no shame seemed to me.
@aleksander8497
5 жыл бұрын
They can do no wrong, ever
@cjennings6179
5 жыл бұрын
They just have NO CONSIDERATION CARE for ANYONE. NOT even their OWN BODYS. They SMOKE & Drink to excess. Are lazy.
@cjennings6179
5 жыл бұрын
They will NOT say im SORRY.
@zeek9697
4 жыл бұрын
No shame to cover their DEEP sense of insignificance and shame due to that sense.
@zeek9697
4 жыл бұрын
@@cjennings6179 many are worshippers of their body. They stare at themselves in the mirror and scowl at others in feelings of superiority
@AA-rw6mc
4 жыл бұрын
Abandonment-it all boils to their fear of abandonment. Yes, it’s quite paradoxical.
@SurvivingNarcissism
4 жыл бұрын
Indeed. Dr. C
@wendycarew5120
4 жыл бұрын
Keep YOUR inner peace. That makes sense to me. Don’t ever let someone conform you! Thank you Dr. Les! 🙏🏻💗
@angelabailey7229
4 жыл бұрын
This is dead on. I was married to one for many years.
@apollomorris9920
4 жыл бұрын
Angela Bailey same here!
@micheleagren1604
5 жыл бұрын
My this information is gold! Thank you for helping us understand where they're coming from. I continue to learn how to conduct myself with dignity. For those who can't afford, or can't access mental health counselors, you are a godsend.
@elanabethfariss117
4 жыл бұрын
People like him make the world a better place by allowing others who are in a bad place a way to find freedom within themselves and improve the quality of their lives. I love this man!
@micheleagren1604
4 жыл бұрын
@@elanabethfariss117 exactly!!!
@mdee860
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, I feel so incredibly fortunate to have found Dr. Carter. I have become disabled due to a riding accident, so money is very tight now. I wish we could all fly to Dallas to participate in a Dr. Carter & Gus bootcamp! Waking up from the horror my abusive relationship has become - is refreshing. Every video I watch - I learn & become stronger. Reclaiming my gentle, living and kind self is a wonderful journey. So very grateful for Dr. Carter & this community.
@missmonkeymind708
3 жыл бұрын
You do a really good job of pointing out subtle nuances that most others speaking about narcissism don't touch on. Every single example you gave in this video actually happened to me... and I'm guessing the same for every other person who has dealt with them. It's like they all downloaded the same virus and bug out in the same exact way
@ebony41441
Жыл бұрын
Yes, it’s like they all went to the same school. Weird
@sophialove7245
4 жыл бұрын
I was married to a narcissist for 13 years. Never could I get through to him that his abusive treatment of our kids, was just the same as he complained to me about being treated like when he was a kid. He was ridiculous. Our marriage ended with him having an affair, and him saying "YOU made me do it!!" He's remarried twice now, and still not happy. I don't think he can find anyone to worship him the way he wants. He's pathetic!
@bernadetteglancy4439
4 жыл бұрын
Letha Lauenborg you’re awesome 😊
@sophialove7245
4 жыл бұрын
@@bernadetteglancy4439 Well, thank you Bernadette! 💞
@lindaw.1568
5 жыл бұрын
Mine began to fear being exposed as abusive, so he began to tell everyone far and wide how much he loved and adored me, while being a huge S**** at home. Friends and family would tell me about it, and envy me for having such a loving guy. Yeah. Right. pfffft!
@jcszot
5 жыл бұрын
Linda W. That’s how people see my brother-in-law! I made my mother aware. I told her I didn’t expect her to take sides but I just was making her aware. She agreed with some points on Dr. Carter’s covert narcissist video but she’s still flying monkey. I think she does it out of fear. She 78 years old and probably just doesn’t have the energy to deal. But yes-so many are deceived when “They” put on that prince’s cape. And yes-everyone thinks my brother-in-law is the greatest guy! Thank God we have the right magnifying glass to see it all!
@lindaw.1568
5 жыл бұрын
JC Szot Oh true! And facing that reality is very painful but it saves our lives! Thank God for Dr. C and others like him!
@rodmorrison6644
5 жыл бұрын
Exactly!!
@jelw3197
5 жыл бұрын
Linda W. DUDE ITS THE SAME SHITTY THING HERE !! Its sooooo funny that they all act in thr same stupid splitted way lol !!
@lindaw.1568
5 жыл бұрын
JELW It's just crazy isn't it! It's as though they all read the same book, follow the same script! It's all predictable, but it knocks us over when they do these things, until we get educated... then the whole horrible thing makes sense: We're dealing with an evil, sick monster!!
@thebewitchinghour831
3 жыл бұрын
They fear being abandon but yet always threaten to leave you. I told my husband that he was a bully.
@xollyxolly3234
4 жыл бұрын
We made a narcissistic person break down. She was just so toxic and controlling. She invited 20 people to show up for her private birthday party. 17 of us decided to go somewhere else. We also did events and celebrated things without her. She broke down and started crying. We don't react to her. Just straight up ignore her. She moved on to new friends. But that's not gonna last long for her.
@CR-ej6nl
4 жыл бұрын
Sounds like you're worse than her tbh. Narcissists are essentially mentally Ill people. You're a supposedly normal person who seems to take pride and pleasure in the fact you caused emotional harm to someone just because you don't like the way they act. That's pathetic.
@socratesaristotle101
4 жыл бұрын
Wow! When I was in grade six only one friend showed up at my birthday party because one girl asked me what I thought of two class mates making out behind the school and I replied...I think they're too young and I didn't think it was right. She repeated what I said to the sixth grade couple who then made sure most of my friends punished me by not going to my party. What you did sounds pretty mean and heartless....The polite thing to do is to phone and tell them you can't come and if you didn't like her find new friends but to get revenge by seeing another break down does not speak well of you either
@midnighttraintogeorgia9304
5 жыл бұрын
Much love from an Empath, married to a Narcissist...(28 yrs) you give me the wisdome and armor that I've lacked ❣ and hi Gus ❣
@SurvivingNarcissism
5 жыл бұрын
Next week's video is entitled, When The Narcissist Meets The People Pleaser. Dr. C
@sammyl.h.p1010
4 жыл бұрын
When I suggested therapy for both of us, the narcissist replied flatly,::”You’ll lose.”
@SurvivingNarcissism
4 жыл бұрын
Not a good sign. Dr. C
@christytdale8225
3 жыл бұрын
Everything with them is "war."
@crsh2007
3 жыл бұрын
Mine sees everything as a competition, too. For Halloween, we took our 8yo out for Trick or Treating, and he was always just sitting in the car. I urged him to take our son to a couple of houses (after he didn’t want to, and even threatened to take us home, telling our son that I would be the reason for it 🙄), and when he finally did, he told me “I’m two up on you now!” I told him that it wasn’t a competition 🤦🏻♀️ JFC
@mcgaugh57
4 жыл бұрын
I wish I'd have had info like this when I was younger, my Mother was a horrible Narcissist . I would have left like my sisters did, but I stayed thinking it was a sons duty. She did nothing but drag me down all my life.
@patissa9656
4 жыл бұрын
mcgaugh You are Sooooooo awesome for have survived it all. May God continue to Bless you and those in your life 🙏🏻👼👏😇
@pammcardle40
4 жыл бұрын
I am so sorry and can relate..I didn't get to escape until I got married, my younger brother still lives with my father and has no means of escape, he would never leave him, because he is convinced my father "needs" him..so now he is an enabler. Even though I no longer live with him, I still have contact and only now have I realized what's been happening to me and my brother our whole lives, even when my Mom was alive, she was a victim and a narc herself! Narc against Narc..now there's a show! LOL Best of luck in your journey!
@pamelapowell9236
4 жыл бұрын
Bless you i have sister that one but know how handle it she hurt from pass of hurt i dont drink or smoke became vegan so neg energy try keep out of me . God bless
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