Chuck Norris' car doesn't need any gasoline, it drives out of respect.
@dbone3356
8 жыл бұрын
Nice.
@sagefoole
8 жыл бұрын
Awesome!!!
@drsnoop187
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokemon Go in one day, on his Nokia 3310
@sagefoole
8 жыл бұрын
drsnoop187 That is freaking awesome!!!
@michael1345
8 жыл бұрын
chuck wouldn't be caught dead in an eco car.
@coopahtroopah1175
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris can pick oranges off of apple trees and use them to make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
@LwyrupBagMan
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Noris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it exploded.
@bobman4223
8 жыл бұрын
Once Chuck Norris pissed into a semi's gas tank as a joke. That semi is now known as Optimus Prime.
@MrSvante88
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
@MrMark509
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris was once asked "how many push ups can you do ? " he replied, " ALL OF THEM ! "
@Durwood71
8 жыл бұрын
Forgot to mention that Chuck Norris is a devout and outspoken Christian and a genuinely nice guy who is impossible to hate.
@andrewhicks5676
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. Now they are just called the Islands.
@callumblack1
8 жыл бұрын
He's so badass that his parents sleep in his bed when they have nightmares.
@OG509
8 жыл бұрын
looool
@streetbrown8529
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep... he waits...
@scook9999
8 жыл бұрын
They call ahead, when Chuck Norris turned 18, his parent moved out of the house.
@SonicBro47
7 жыл бұрын
GTX 1080. I have a question. Who the bloody hell is Chuck Norris!?
@CultureCrash
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris will always be a meme, no matter how dead that meme is.
@killercameo2091
7 жыл бұрын
At the campfire ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories.
@JonHeckendorf
8 жыл бұрын
You might not know that he is a nice guy and friend to so many people. He has always been available to help people. I know because I was a student of his back in the sixties when he opened his studio in Torrance then another one in Redondo Beach. A truly fine man and a pleasure to know. I am happy for his success.
@JustinEvitable80
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris wasn't in those movies, the movies themselves just wanted to be around him.
@anunhealthydistrust14
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo hides in books.
@busababe02
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck doesn't need the periodic table. He only recognises the element of surprise.
@awhochen1563
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris never reads. He interrogates books for the information he wants.
@emmanuel5615
8 жыл бұрын
When Chuck Norris was born. He drove his mom home from the hospital.
@Liveebee
8 жыл бұрын
he also drove her to it... don't ask
@RonaldReaganRocks1
8 жыл бұрын
When Chuck Norris was born, only the doctor cried.
@phoenixarchangel5082
8 жыл бұрын
Actually, chuck was born prematurely. He heard someone needed their ass kicked, so in order to be born a few weeks early, he performed his own caesarean section.
@jeffwillis6071
8 жыл бұрын
+RonaldReaganRocks1 the doctor cried,because Chuck slapped the dr. before the dr. could slap him on the ass.
@jeanettepillion3984
8 жыл бұрын
Jeff Willis
@chevyrupleix
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris deleted the Recycle Bin.
@sean2015
3 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris can hack Edward Snowden’s computer using only a typewriter
@h.u.n.k493
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokemon, in Pokemon Go......... from a landline.
@sonofawil
8 жыл бұрын
He didn't need to catch them. They showed up at his door on launch day, two by two.
@homer886
8 жыл бұрын
no , chuck norris caught ALL the pokemon , and guess what , he did not use pokeBALLS
@nicostheocharous1990
7 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris has stolen the sunglasses from the sun.
@devilpupbear09
8 жыл бұрын
jesus walks on water chuck Norris can swim on land
@jerrybrownell3415
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris never calls a wrong number. You just answered the wrong phone.
@victory_jade
8 жыл бұрын
Rosa Parks gave up her seat for Chuck Norris.
@victory_jade
8 жыл бұрын
FocusFanatic Thanks :) I first heard it about ten years in high school, and remember it quite vividly because our entire class laughed for a good 5 minutes non-stop after an exchange student from Brazil said the joke. Good times.
@victory_jade
8 жыл бұрын
Exactly, a really funny clean, good-natured joke is hard to come by.
@Einnor084
8 жыл бұрын
+Victoria Pearson Itz racist, BUTT SINce itz Chuck, I don't give a uck! LOL!!!
@phoenixarchangel5082
8 жыл бұрын
+Ron Beck Did chuck norris punch you once? How could you be stupid enough to think that was racist?
@Einnor084
8 жыл бұрын
+Documenting Dangerous sky's Hell yea!
@sicfxmusic
8 жыл бұрын
Death once had a near-Chuck experience
@JustinAWells
7 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris once upper cutted a horse.... That horses descendants are known as giraffes
@jak4716
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris once taught a child to run. He is now known as usain bolt
@kevfoda
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... Twice!
@theonewhoquacks9055
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris never sleeps, he waits
@ATEdits101
8 жыл бұрын
why there are chuck Norris jokes but there are no Bruce Lee jokes? because Bruce Lee is no joke. true words
@Milkmans_Son
8 жыл бұрын
If chuck norris was a joke, I doubt bruce lee would have worked with him as much as he did.
@philv2529
8 жыл бұрын
That was before Chuck Norris started making his own films.
@JnEricsonx
8 жыл бұрын
Sadly....that isn't true. See....Death needed to retire, so he asked Sir Christopher Lee to take over for him. It was Christopher Lee or Clint Eastwood, and Christopher Lee went first, because, he killed Nazis.
@Milkmans_Son
8 жыл бұрын
Phil V And it was after The Green Hornet (everybody's gotta eat).
@philv2529
8 жыл бұрын
Downfacingdog Ip man found Norris to be a joke?
@mixey01
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris didn't receive a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame He has a whole constellation named after him
@tomurg
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Morris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there. XD
@LwyrupBagMan
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Noris once killed 2 stones with one bird.
@TwistedSisterHaratiofales
7 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris is extremely good at solving a Rubik's cube. He gives it a bad ass mean look and it straitens its self out.
@Moali.E
8 жыл бұрын
chuck norris videos comments section is always entertaining!
@sean2015
3 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris can juice a watermelon with his bare hands 🍉
@tigerhynes1006
8 жыл бұрын
Kids in the 80's are better than today's kids
@tigerhynes1006
8 жыл бұрын
+King Kobra how?
@tigerhynes1006
8 жыл бұрын
+DudeofGwinnett just think about it
@michaelangelocostello2599
8 жыл бұрын
+Tiger Hynes how are they better? dont forget who is raising the kids of today.
@tigerhynes1006
8 жыл бұрын
+DudeofGwinnett The cringey shit they do on social media
@MichaelKerr71
8 жыл бұрын
I find the OP here to be very ironic. With that avatar and the "cringey" things he's also saying. But yet points the finger at everyone else. Believe me folks, not all of us who were kids in the 80's are like this fucking guy here.
@dnccomp
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris had a part in Star Wars. He was the force
@mothershipconnectio1
7 жыл бұрын
Big respect for you Carlos "Chuck" Norris . This man achieved 8th Dan Tae Kwon Do.... The first man in the Western Hemisphere.... A true achiever
@guesswhomartin9249
8 жыл бұрын
Already as it was, I already have a lot of respect for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is real. A True champion. Now that I hear he was in the army serving our country, I love and respect this man even more.
@JimboShogun0686
8 жыл бұрын
when I was a kid Walker Texas Ranger was my favorite show
@truthteller1914
8 жыл бұрын
Having trained with Chuck Norris and been his organization's "Outstanding Instructor" in 1983. I can state that he is one of the most straight arrow people I have ever known. I have never heard him say a bad word about anyone, even those that have taken advantage of him and treated him badly.
@taoist32
8 жыл бұрын
He lives by principles. Nobody lives like that anymore.
@truthteller1914
8 жыл бұрын
taoist40 Excellent point.
@Moali.E
8 жыл бұрын
+Truth teller so do you know anything bad about him?
@truthteller1914
8 жыл бұрын
Not really bad. We do not agree on his religious views. But he is totally honest and sincere about them. Badly mistaken, I think. But that's all.
@joeboudreault2226
7 жыл бұрын
On what would he be "not mistaken" on, Truth teller?
@aukevandenberg618
7 жыл бұрын
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
@MaybeeT
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
@BUNCHofxs
8 жыл бұрын
Anna nicole smith didn't overdose, chuck norris blew her a kiss.
@Looper
8 жыл бұрын
You know what to do...
@BlaximilianD00d
8 жыл бұрын
comment first as if I'm going to win a cash prize?
@knedy
8 жыл бұрын
You forgot that he's a crazy old man now, last thing I saw him do was a commercial against Obama with his wife where they claimed if he won it would "usher in 1000 years of darkness"(that's kinda the actual quote, they're BAT SHIT!) so no. Chuck Norris is not cool now. He's a fool!
@PSF1986
8 жыл бұрын
I bet Chuck Norris still has to get up 5 times in the night to pee.
@SirArghPirate
8 жыл бұрын
Fact: He's a religious fundamentalist and a crank.
@knedy
8 жыл бұрын
SirArghPirate And don't forget the rape story from the 90s........
@meligoth
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokemon.. using a landline.
@lordnevetsz
8 жыл бұрын
He raced speedboats...on foot
@GreasedLizard
8 жыл бұрын
Here's another fact - Chuck Norris actually died 43 years ago, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
@ttrash101
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris actually died 20 yrs ago, but not even today, Death didn't manage to get enough courage to ... tell him !
@cgasucks
8 жыл бұрын
George Takei is so intimated by Chuck Norris he's scared straight...
@PowerStruggle555
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the crap out of it
@garyv2498
8 жыл бұрын
Best comment section to any youtube video ever
@alwinchacko7018
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris does not have hair on his balls, Because hair does not grow on steel.
@efilnikufesin2069
8 жыл бұрын
failed to mention that the late great Bruce Lee did not apply high kicks until his meeting and eventual friendship with Chuck in the late 60s.Bruce also gave chuck his 1st movie role in Way of the Dragon.
@marcdavidson7171
7 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris doesn't recognize the periodic table he only recognizes one element..... The element of surprise!!
@danielboozer3434
8 жыл бұрын
Didn't think I could love him anymore... I was wrong
@andyvalenzuela9763
8 жыл бұрын
True fact: Chuck Norris once punched a man in his soul!
@JetpoweredGlim
7 жыл бұрын
All we need is a Chuck Norris Karate Commando Video game... my life is set :)
@cpthuggyface2011
7 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately it will fail because no one controls Chuck Norris.
@AslanAtreyu
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.
@Tunafishsauce999
8 жыл бұрын
When Chuck Norris was born, the midwife said "Wow! It's Chuck Norris!"
@iHaveTheDocuments
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris can lift a chair while sitting in it without touching the ground.
@stellapm
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey... he chews bees.
@jeatig
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris is what Willis is talkin' 'bout!!
@michaelbcohen
8 жыл бұрын
He just wasn't in the Air Force, he was an MP, a military cop dealing with drunk and violent servicemen. He also holds black belts in several martial arts and even invented his own. The man is a legend in so many ways
@philv2529
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris once put on a white belt for a new martial art he was learning. The belt instantly turned black.
@alexanderdelacruz9249
8 жыл бұрын
+Phil V omg,good one.lol!
@jacobkleinsasser5658
8 жыл бұрын
I actually had the pleasure of meeting him. He was insanely nice and professional! The only person that topped him was Robin Williams, who in spite of clearly being in a hurry stopped, said hi shook my hand and talked to me for about 5 minutes.
@hannocoetzer8763
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris doesn't get wet .. water gets Chucked
@philv2529
8 жыл бұрын
I wonder if the New Testament stories about Jesus were actually just ancient Chuck Norris jokes.
@sonofawil
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris doesn't actually walk on water. The ocean is just afraid to get too close.
@philv2529
8 жыл бұрын
Sonofawil Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris swims on land.
@phoenixarchangel5082
8 жыл бұрын
Well, in genesis is clearly states: In the beginning god said "let there be light". And chuck norris said "say please".
@scottyrobot
8 жыл бұрын
Ironically, being that he is such a hard-line Christian, Chuck Norris would probably take offense to these kind of jokes
@salsero77nz
8 жыл бұрын
thats the best one !! lol
@Rolilasx
8 жыл бұрын
Man...I remember in high school when a teacher gave us a surprize test, everybody recieved a 2/10 but I got a 3/10 because I wrote the teacher about 12-13 Chuck Norris jokes :D
@philv2529
8 жыл бұрын
Your teacher must suck for making such a hard test.
@Rolilasx
8 жыл бұрын
Phil V He gave us that test because the previous day we ditched his class, so it was understandable and justified :D.
@philv2529
8 жыл бұрын
Rolilasx Chuck Norris would have scored 11
@Rolilasx
8 жыл бұрын
You are wrong, the test would have been Chuck Norrised ! xD
@captainrekt9117
7 жыл бұрын
Rolilasx Chuck Norris would have passed by just answering every question with violence because Chuck Norris solves all problems with violence
@AndrewsOpinion15
4 жыл бұрын
great 7 things you didn't know about chuck norris !!!
@Thermool
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris needs to be in the MCU!
@philv2529
8 жыл бұрын
Norris v Squirrel girl. Who wins?
@sonofawil
8 жыл бұрын
His glove had a cameo in Thor and a stone from his signet ring was in Guardians.
@themercuryproject2847
7 жыл бұрын
to bad he's dead
@bobman4223
8 жыл бұрын
In WWII Chuck Norris once took out a German fighter plane with his finger just by yelling "BANG!"
@keith37
8 жыл бұрын
I've known Chuck for 16+ years now. He laughs at all of the Norris puns. He is a devoted Christian. He is not a racist or a homophobic contrary to believe. Honestly he and his wife are two of the nicest people.
@jojonta2119
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris is so badass, he has balls of steel. Literally and figuratively :D
@NekoUrabe
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris built the house he was born in.
@sammylane21
8 жыл бұрын
Unknown or little known fact : The Internet is powered by the shear power of Chuck Norris's will power .
@yonagatoga9081
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris allows us to own guns so he can take a break from fighting bad guys...not that he needs one.
@CanadaMMA
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris is a legitimate badass. I am surprised you didn't include the fact he is a third degree black belt in BJJ as well. The man could have had a career in the UFC if he was 50 years younger.
@MrJohnffrey87
8 жыл бұрын
One of Chuck's karate students was Bob Barker of The Price is Right fame, he demonstrates these skills in the Adam Sandler movie Happy Gilmore.
@robsolistorres6861
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris taught karate at my middle school in the 90's Burbank middle school Houston Texas and Part of the movie sidekicks was filmed in my old neighborhood... The good old days where always the best
@toniwilson1739
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris once rubbed a magic lamp and the genie asked him for a wish.
@allthepeas
8 жыл бұрын
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
@STInkEYErex
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups he pushes the world down
@priest9235
8 жыл бұрын
Once, Norris got bitten by a dangerous Cobra while he was out in the woods on his own. Then, after hours of excruciating pain... the snake died.
@mittrobney849
6 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he stares at it until it cry's.
@davidriggs2174
8 жыл бұрын
people break into chuck's house to leave him stuff
@mastersnillum5418
8 жыл бұрын
There's no such thing as tornadoes... Chuck Norris just doesn't like mobile homes.
@AggressiveBeagle
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris went to heaven as he walked through the pearly gates and stood before God he said "You're in my seat."
@cnj5599
8 жыл бұрын
I have the cartoon DVD. It is funny. As a avid fan for more than 20 years, I think Chuck Norris is still awesome. His name is really Carlos Ray Norris. Bruce Lee did not get him into acting, Steve McQueen was Chuck's student, and told him to try out and he did it to help with money to keep his studios open until he got famous for the acting. He actually brought the spinning back kick to the tournament circuit. That is how he became undefeated for 3 years.
@TheJanvicgwaps
8 жыл бұрын
Before Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for LIAM NEESON. And checks his closet too for BRUCE LEE.
@spikebrannigan
5 жыл бұрын
When Chuck Norris saw that video of some guys who dropped a basketball into a basket from the top of a dam, he said, "That's nothing...watch THIS!!!!!" and he shot a video of himself doing exactly the same thing - but with 1 BIG difference: the basket was on Earth, and Chuck was on Pluto!!!!!
@keithtarello6210
8 жыл бұрын
Trump/Norris 2016 no one would F with the U.S.
@derekwhite1870
8 жыл бұрын
Yeah, minus Trump haha
@Pwnulolumad
8 жыл бұрын
Jess ventura pres. VP chuck Norris. FCC head Howard stern. mr. takei for head of environmental department
@Dawwwg
8 жыл бұрын
You mean: Nobody would take the U.S. seriously anymore ...
@Pwnulolumad
8 жыл бұрын
Clearly the joke went way over your head. Nobody was being serious..
@deanarupe73
8 жыл бұрын
Why not Norris/Trump Chuck is always first.
@Nafkelah
8 жыл бұрын
When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night , he checks his closet for Chuck Norris , I fucking died 😂😂
@StrikerFX47
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris is the very epitome of what a badass should be.
@puf4294
8 жыл бұрын
The comments are more accurate than the video itself....grabs a popcorn made by chuck norris' beard.
@teneleven2818
8 жыл бұрын
That explains why I couldn't find the cartoon after one episode when I was a kid. With all the memes today I wonder if a family guy style version of a Chuck Norris cartoon could be successful. It wouldn't have to be dirty but over the top humor based on the memes.
When Chuck Norris uses a smartphone, it doesn't need a battery because Chuck Norris itself is its energy..
@cls0372
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris was in the show "Walker Texas Ranger". I used to watch that show. I liked it, ( in general).
@Jackie_Tikki_Tavi
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris does a wheelie on a unicycle
@bigblueglide8021
8 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he just dares it to grow.
@sandbakk77
8 жыл бұрын
True story: Two guys saw Chuck Norris walking down the street, and decided he's rich and worth robbing. When the cops came, they found Chuck Norris casually leaning against the fence, and both robbers sitting on the sidewalk with broken arms. They knew Chuck Norris was a movie-star, and thought all this karate-stuff was fake. It... wasn't. Lol.
@candicehadley7539
4 жыл бұрын
Chuck Norris was born May 6,1945. The Nazis surrendered May 7, 1945. Coincidence? I think not.- Bill Murray, 2015
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