"Welcome!" Whenever I hear that voice say it like that, I instantly become happy! Can't wait to hear this weeks podcast 🫂
@hc4769
3 жыл бұрын
Me too! I always get excited every time she says it.
@christym.6529
3 жыл бұрын
Same! I love it “Welcome!” And “Happy Thursday” and waves bye at the end. I love it! 🥰
@aidanbyrne8267
3 жыл бұрын
Timestamps - full questions taken from the community tab. 01:15 - (yay my question - thanks so much for answering): Hi Kati, hope you're taking care of yourself. Can you talk about the boredom that comes with being okay? I've been experiencing extremes for so long, (manic/suicidal) that on the days/weeks where I'm more stable, I can't deal with the boredom of not having those extreme emotions, and often end up deliberately triggering myself to end the monotony. Could you explain why this happens, and how to deal with it? Keep up the great work, you are truly helping so many people. 15:40: Hey Kati, do you have any tips on how to live for yourself and not for others? As a chronically suicidal person, the only reason I’m here is to keep other people happy. I don’t want help or to be alive, but I do. I constantly flip flop between this and was wondering if there is a way out. I can’t stand the idea of living, but I can’t bear to think about the pain I might cause others. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks! 36:02: Why is it there is such shame with sexual abuse/trauma? How can someone feel such shame and guilt about something that wasn’t their fault? Additional question from comment: Hi Kati happy 4th of July and happy Thursday please answer How does a person know if they have any trauma because in my junior year of high a guy tried to take advantage of me but also a lot happened in this time the person I told ended up moving to a different school in the same school district , I lost a couple family members , my art teacher I talked to all the time had lost her husband so I stopped shearing how I was feeling with her it was right before summer vacation so the next year the school didn’t want me to talk about it with anyone is this trauma and the school knew he would do it because he was expelled from his previous school for doing the same thing I think I feel the way I do because I was punished for it as well even though I was the victim I don’t believe it was trauma because the guy didn’t take advantage of me because I told the school but I been told it was a trauma even though no r*p* took place 51:20: Hi Kati! Do therapists sometimes provoke their clients into transference? My therapist says things like “if you were my daughter I would care how you felt and listen to what you have to say” and it makes me angry because she’s NOT my mom so it’s irrelevant. I’ve heard from your videos a bit about transference but it seems like it’s something that happens that people don’t want or has to be worked through not something to try for. Is it strange my therapist does this? What reasons would there be for saying things like this? Is she TRYING to make me mad? 56:10: Hey Kati, I was wondering why is it so hard to accept trauma. Recently I realized I was sexually abused as a child and I keep trying to justify my fathers actions. I keep telling myself I’m just being dramatic or that my father “didn’t mean it that way.” Even when it was very obvious that I was physically and emotionally abused as well, I still try and make it seem lesser. Is there a reason why I keep doing this and how do I stop? Thank you so much! 1:06:39: Hi Kati, I was wondering if you have any advice on how to discuss past sexual trauma in therapy. Do you really have to share and relive all the details in order to heal? I don't think I can say all those things out loud. I have come to realise that I was abused and repeatedly raped by an ex boyfriend. Everything is so uncomfortable. I have started talking through it with my therapist in generic terms. When I finally decided to tell her the details, she was great, but I was so agitated that after the session I went into a panic attack and avoided the topic for months. Now, we are talking about it again, we have talked at length about my feelings and what I want from this, but I can't bring myself to tell her the details of all the shameful, uncomfortable, sexual things that happened. Is there a way around this? Do I really have to unravel all the details to heal? Thank you. 1:16:39: Hey Kati, my therapist has started to bring up that I’m doing better and the idea of ramping down therapy the last couple of sessions but every time he does it kinda freaks me out. Is this attachment or could it be the fear of losing my safely net?
@aidanbyrne8267
3 жыл бұрын
Thankyou so much for answering my question, it's really helpful, I've always been able to tell pretty quickly when that boredom came in, but I never had a way to deal with that other than self harm, but I'll definitely try and accept/work through it in future.
@ryannesumbry4130
3 жыл бұрын
Appreciate you for the time stamps
@Akanchwua
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for time stamps :)
@anniekate76
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for doing this post!!!
@MatthewMuhammad
3 жыл бұрын
Whenever I feel good, it seems like something bad is on the way. This happened a lot since I was kid, and now it has become an automatic habit of mine to assume the worst after having a rare good day, because it pans out that way most of the time. I'm always on edge whenever I feel good, and start wondering what the next bad thing is going to be. It's so frustrating.
@jfluter
3 жыл бұрын
With my trauma last year, I felt like this was happening a lot, particularly right afterwards. Like, I was basically just trying to "catch my breath," but yet, it felt like another thing would come up, causing me to spiral yet again, and my brain couldn't keep up with it all. It was absolutely exhausting.
@MatthewMuhammad
3 жыл бұрын
@@jfluter - Same here. I hope that you are in a better place now. Last summer was really bad for me, especially the month of July. I was in a constant state of utter terror and hopelessnes. Even my body felt weird. I felt both heavy and lite at the same time, and a weird tingling sensation would envelope my scalp.
@jfluter
3 жыл бұрын
@@MatthewMuhammad I am in a much better place. Thanks. Unfortunately, I had to do an inpatient stay at a mental health hospital as my SH ideations became SI ideations, and I had other harmful thoughts get in the way as well. However, I'm working with a therapist that I love, been back to work, running, gymnastics, and soon, back to figure skating. Plus, I'm involved with a few mental health groups online, and have gotten into art. Plus, I'm taking more charge of my health.....mostly because I'm afraid of heading down the same heart health path that my dad was down (the source of my trauma), so if there are any problems, I don't want them to get worse. However, all of this is a major work in progress, and that's sometimes hard for my brain to tolerate...work needs to be done there.
@ohmygoshtosh
3 жыл бұрын
Your videos are so helpful. 🥰 Due to an EXTREMELY traumatic childhood, my mental health hasn’t been the best. I decided to take back my power and start going to therapy, & watch your videos and I can see a huge change in myself. You have inspired me to make my own channel where I talk about my traumatic events. Even if nobody watches my videos, it’s still therapeutic for me to talk about my trauma without my therapist. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for everything you do. 🥰
@diablominero
3 жыл бұрын
The orgasm reflex is so separate from conscious control that a fresh corpse still has it. When you die, until rigor mortis sets in, the glycogen in your muscles and the glucose in your blood can keep certain simple reflexes running. The orgasm reflex is one of those.
@bread2951
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Kati. I was looking forward to your views about the first question. I can relate to it. I was suicidial for almost 4 years on and off. Now, I am quite better now but I miss my sorrows. The feeling of not wanting to kill myself is scary. In order to bring back chaos, I re-read my dairy entries written during my worse times, watch suicide news and videos, try to remember all the bad things I have done and why I should die.
@jfluter
3 жыл бұрын
In terms of sexual assault, it also doesn't help that society puts on all this pressure about avoiding sexually assaulted...like don't wear certain types of clothing, don't walk alone at night, always carry something for self defense, take self defense classes, don't talk to strangers, etc. But yet, one can do all of those things, and still get assaulted, and still get blamed for it. It's not fair.
@davidk.7264
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks again for your time and wise words. As a male survivor of sex abuse, I get it all
@user-qo9xu6fe5x
3 жыл бұрын
the way you talk about abuse, especially sexual abuse but other traumas as well makes me feel safe, validated and heard. So thank you! You are truly an amazing therapist and person and the way you talk about it is so helpful and helps me question my reaction and emotion about it less. ❤️❤️❤️
@LessThanThree76
Жыл бұрын
I can’t see how I could ever do inner child work, even if I’m sure I’d need it. My therapist once asked me what I whould tell my inner child, and I just resentfully said ”I know you’re just waiting, hoping and wishing for a better future once you get out of there but SURPRISE - it’s still gonna be a legit shit fest”. What if I can’t even be nice to my inner child, as I can’t be kind to my adult self. I feel hopeless.
@time4sign
3 жыл бұрын
I was struggling with CPTSD anxiety, podcast helped soothed my anxiety. Thank you it was a healing word at the right time. Sleep triggers anxiety and I perseverate and obsessed so much about sleep that I keep my self awake and self sabotage until I can't keep my eyes open. This is a critical problem because I have a family and not only do they need me. But I have a vicious cycle that the obsession leads to burn out burn out leads to sickness and sickness leads to depression then depression leads to anxiety anxiety leads obsession/ perseveration. I was supposed to see a sleep therapist but they haven't called. I'm slipping through the cracks in the system. I'm fighting to continue self care but that only goes so far. I also struggle with being assertive to communicate my needs to my caregivers and I miss very important Dr appointments.
@grandmastermario3695
3 жыл бұрын
That's part of the reason why I like living on my own better than with someone because if I lived with someone and it was going perfectly fine then I would still be in almost constant worry that one day it's going to go bad and either that person will start yelling at me calling me names or even hit me or worry that something may go wrong and we won't get along because well I've been in those abusive situations over and over and over again throughout my life so I would be miserable living with someone either get mistreated again or worry that one day I'm going to be mistreated it's kind of just like why I don't want a romantic relationship because I used to see all the horrible and abusive relationships my mother was in and how they affected both of us so I avoid them to and often even view them as all bad that's how all my trauma has affected me
@suejorgensen46
3 жыл бұрын
I hear you...it's my safety buffer zone. I need the extra space to let people in or out. My home is my always safe spot. Even having friends or family inside its walls is difficult and makes me feel unsettled
@lmh931000
3 жыл бұрын
Hi Kati, I pre-ordered your book!!!! I'm so excited! Also I commented a question for the first time :) and after watching you for over 8 years, I finally feel like (bridge statement!) MAYBE you will read the question and it's not rejection... just limited time... thank you for everything and keep going! You are amazing and every year I get better and better with the help of your videos. THANK YOU!( ALSO, when you are one of those names that everyone knows I can't wait to say here I've been here since almost the beginning! ) HOORAY KATI!!!!!
@skoldpa
3 жыл бұрын
First question in and I'm already illuminated ! I always end up triggering myself when I'm feeling well and I never understood why, your answer helps sooo much. I'm definitely going to bring this up to my therapist next time I see them !
@arielsmith9674
3 жыл бұрын
This is such amazing therapy for me. It’s making me realize that it’s okay to know your limits. Like you can even call out of work if you feel unsafe with working because you aren’t feeling healthy, every now and then or once a month, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
@timothyarnold6457
3 жыл бұрын
I'm super excited for your book!! I preordered it and can't wait! Thank you for all that you do Kati, you're amazing
@christym.6529
3 жыл бұрын
Hey Kati! I have learned so much this past year or so listening to the questions & answers on AKA. Thanks for all you do. 😊
@natascha_mephisto
3 жыл бұрын
Oh my god! It was so eye opening that other people have chronically depressed mothers too. I just never heard of others who also had to talk their parents out of killing themselves etc. (even if that wasn’t exactly said, for me it is close enough). I still think about if that is a trauma or not. Btw. I am finally going to a hospital to get treated for all my shit at Thursday (yey and ahhhhhh XD)
@natascha_mephisto
3 жыл бұрын
I am a little pissed that I wasn’t allowed to use the word “suicide”
@user-qo9xu6fe5x
3 жыл бұрын
yeah, you're not alone! I am the one who asked the question. I feel like this could definitely be traumatic, since it can firstly be emotionally abusive, you most likely fear for the wellbeing and life of your parent and you feel like you are responsible for something that nobody should feel responsible for, especially not as a kid for your own parent. I'm sorry you had to go through that, I hope you are okay now. My experience also includes finding a collection of sharp tools in my mothers room one time, with which she could have harmed or killed herself and having to get rid of your mothers potential suicide tools totally shocked me and I was overwhelmed. But I never had to actually talk her out of committing, my sister had to do that once, but I can't imagine the upset and trauma of that.
@natascha_mephisto
3 жыл бұрын
@@user-qo9xu6fe5x I am sorry that happened to you. Are you able to manage your situation? Right now, my mother is quit okay (even though she is going into burnout again) cause her doctor told her after her last bad depressive episode to increase her medication on her own if she needs it. I am still not sure if I am ever able to move out because I am afraid to leave her alone. I know it wouldn’t be my fault if depression kills her someday, but it still feels like it is my fault. This whole guilt around “causing my mother depression” is fucking me up a little. (sorry for talking this much about my shit)
@user-qo9xu6fe5x
3 жыл бұрын
@@natascha_mephisto I don't live at home anymore, so things are manageable. good to hear, that she's okay now, but I get why you worry about it getting worse again. I hope you can find your peace. You're not responsible for her, but it's hard to act differently when you are put in these situations. Try to keep your distance at home and if you don't have one already, get yourself a therapist if possible. It's life-changing honestly
@_maia_m
3 жыл бұрын
Good luck on thursday, go you! 😊
@bryanaustin52
3 жыл бұрын
I interact with many that struggle with substance abuse and this is classic in so many scenarios. This was sensational. Thank you!
@cindycameron3539
3 жыл бұрын
What a great video this week. Most of the questions really hit home for me. Thanks Kati for all you do.
@diablominero
3 жыл бұрын
I got myself stuck in a totally positive mood for a week once. It was great at first, but by the end it started to get boring being happy about everything.
@jessicaburrola110
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video. A lot of what you touched on is stuff I’m going through and feeling these days.🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️
@stoffls
3 жыл бұрын
Question 1 is so eye opening. I could really see before my inner eye how I was sabotaging myself. Thanks to the person who asked and thank you Kati for this great Podcast!
@rogueerised979
3 жыл бұрын
Wow this video is so spot on for what I struggle with & struggled with. Have improved, but simply by time passing & somehow finding some words here & there that explain a little. But this explains in detail what was going on. Soooo brining this up. And gonna mention this. Writting it down. 📝 Thanks for all your videos over the years!! Learned about boundaries & much more from this channel. Keep up the great work 💪🤩
@too_tired_for_this
3 жыл бұрын
I can relate to so many of these questions.
@ProfFibi
3 жыл бұрын
I love the way you communicate, thank you Kati
@rainbowcattail3367
3 жыл бұрын
Is it bad that I love my cat and my friend more than my parents? Also I'm really polite to my cat, I apologize and say bless you when he sneezes. I'd literally die for my kitty. Is that bad?
@anniekate76
3 жыл бұрын
It is OK, if your parents were not the most loving to you, why would you love them the most? You don’t owe them maximum love just because they chose to have you.
@_maia_m
3 жыл бұрын
When you love your cat and your friend more, there's a reason for it. Parents, like everyone else, need to deserve your love, and in your case, your cat and your friend deserve it more. That's OK. ❤
@nanosphere05
3 жыл бұрын
HI Katie, i hope you are doing as well as can be expected. my mum refuses to gender me correctly (female) when ever i correct her she is instantly the victim, i am "always ruining her good moods by bringing up my deviancy" At this point it has been over 9 months. i allow her to call me my dead name. but wish she would call me my real one. one time she muttered something about chromosomes. I depend on her also, for food and housing and for shared cost of living. What have you done when patients talk about their transphobic parents? Thanks for reading!
@_maia_m
3 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry your mother treats you like that. You deserve to be respected for who you are!
@suejorgensen46
3 жыл бұрын
Nanosphere05 As I see it the problem here is not the problem. Here are the qualifers and how I'm speaking from my own experience as someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder and dealing with people internally and the external world. The moment we DEMAND, that someone else be or think a different way. The problem is us we are trying to control another person and the only person we have the RIGHT to control is ourselves. I would encourage you to review your belief system that keeps you stuck believing you must be dependent. It is very unlikely that there isn't a option You appear to be an adult and thus a free agent even if they have conservatorship you can ask to become a ward of the state. And you will be free of their authority In most 1st world countries you could apply for state benefits, and or use the internet to find our own community. The Trans community is very tight knit and would be very sympathetic to your circumstances surely someone has an extra room. There is risk to these options but there is also risk for a new and wonderful happy life. You deserve happiness and unless she is your abuser she deserves empathy and inclusion as well as someone who is unable to make the mental change to see you a new way. Many people can't grasp new ideas , or string theory or quantum mechanics. It's always best to readjust ourselves rather than walking around angry that someone can't grasp something. Take gentle care and move on..
@suejorgensen46
3 жыл бұрын
Nanosphere05 As another gentle and compassionate way to try to engineer change You could call your mom by your " dead" name and gender when you talk to her. And then gently ( only gently no anger, snideness or condescension or it won't work to engineer change it just starts a war) when it bugs her say something gentle like it's not mine either. No argument, just a statement of fact. More than likely it won't create change but if the relationship is worth one last try then gentle loving care may, just may work.
@rania.albassoumi
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you 🌸
@Joooooeeeeee3
3 жыл бұрын
1:00:47 “can we check a fact there”
@diablominero
3 жыл бұрын
Serotonin doesn't do the things people think it does. I've been experimenting with serotonergic drugs some this summer, and they're uncomfortable and mostly only feel nice in the afterglow after a dose has worn off.
@karenspecht3170
3 жыл бұрын
New to the community, enjoying the videos. Getting a lot out of them personally and professionally. One small suggestion to a phrase you have said in a few videos... the blind leading the blind... this is a bit offense to the visually impaired leaders of the community. Perhaps just saying what you mean. Idk. Just a thought.
@nourfattouh6547
3 жыл бұрын
I like the first question
@MinnaGaming340
3 жыл бұрын
For me it’s like an urge to stimm almost.
@naughtyleopard21
3 жыл бұрын
I love your channels! 💗
@hannalowercase5928
3 жыл бұрын
WOW I'M SO EARLY i know, i know, but i had to comment
@abby4027
3 жыл бұрын
Hey Kati😊
@mariadefeo5621
3 жыл бұрын
I’m new mom I don’t know what I’m doing it scary I don’t have no sleep I’m trying my best I do get some rest I love every moment of it I get emotional any advice my mom passed a way 9 months ago it hard With Coronavirus going on in my son gonna be my next 2 months I don’t want no one around him
@alisonprendiville5484
3 жыл бұрын
Hello there 😘
@raywood8187
3 жыл бұрын
In case you didn't know, 988 is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number.
@anniekate76
3 жыл бұрын
In the USA? I didn’t know that!
@raywood8187
3 жыл бұрын
@@anniekate76 Yes, I didn't know eitheruntil I got a text from my cell provider. The shorter the number, the easier to remember.
@sergusbower1270
3 жыл бұрын
I would love to ask her questions could someone please tell me how to go about it? I noticed I don’t get replies on KZitem please help thank you 🙏🙏🙏🙏 I’ve been anorexia and exercise addiction for 30 years got horribly thin got hurt can’t exercise now and now I can’t stop eating gaining so much weight this isn’t me also have mental health issues and emotional abuse 🙏🙏🙏
@liank9564
3 жыл бұрын
You have to go on the channel (Opinions that dont matter) and then to the community tab there. On Sunday mornings Kati asks there and you can comment your question.
@sergusbower1270
3 жыл бұрын
@@liank9564 thank you!
@MeSaytan
2 күн бұрын
im reaching out. nobody seems there. oh well. mmm maya m aai ah ayah sir ten
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