Narcissists seldom take responsibility for their actions and are constantly pointing the finger at others..! Period..!! That is a major character flaw..!
@SurvivingNarcissism
Жыл бұрын
You get it. In fact, it is a defining feature.
@duromusabc
Жыл бұрын
That’s why you can’t talk to a narcissist to resolve conflicts - they’re chaotic and dysregulated and twist things around causing confusion
@terriwilmottw
Жыл бұрын
So true, and their flying monkeys
@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely. Your better off not talking to them or seeing them if you are able to go that route. That's taking your sanity back
@Stardusted1
Жыл бұрын
Twist. Twist. Twist. After awhile you just zone out before your head explodes. They actually do scramble your brain.
@wisconsinfarmer4742
Жыл бұрын
The big tipper there is when you get dangerously close to truth telling, they attack you for the way in which you argue thus changing the subject for the eight time during a "discussion".
@joshuaanzalone2060
Жыл бұрын
Yep Duane never wrestle in the mud with pigs or you'll get dirty as well and the pigs like it.
@ladennayoung2939
Жыл бұрын
They try to be secretive about their lives but try to ALWAYS be in your business and control you on EVERY level. If you let them.
@Liz-in8lu
Жыл бұрын
Oh. My. Gosh. Yes, every time we talk I’m immediately asked a list of questions. Like a checklist he runs down. I’ve told him this a few times and he just doesn’t get it. A conversation is back-and-forth. But when you ask him what he did, he is so vague and I know it’s not the truth. It’s upsetting.
@renaissance5300
Жыл бұрын
soo true they are sneaky
@ingrid3578
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely 💯. My highly narcissistic aunt is the most secretive and devious person I’ve ever come across. We know virtually nothing about her. We know nothing about her past, present, and future. Nobody ever knows what’s she up to. But she will ask you the nosiest and most inappropriate questions like she is some kind of police detective interrogating you, like it’s her job and right to demand to know everything about you. It’s sickening. Thankfully I have no contact with her anymore, but when I did, I’d basically ask her the same questions right back, which she ignored or flat out told me it’s none of my business haha
@patriciaferrari4788
Жыл бұрын
Soo soo true.
@Cyberwolf9999
Жыл бұрын
@@ingrid3578my family members too, but now I just go my own way, and now they only find out afterwards where I went and what I did. It drives them nuts that i do not ask their permission or share it beforehand
@gwendolynbien-aime1536
Жыл бұрын
Years ago, my narc said, “there are certain things I can’t discuss with you because you’ll get too emotional.” Of course, I asked what/why, but now I understand. What he really said was: “I’m going to keep parts of myself secret and lie to you if you ask questions. THEN, I’m gonna gaslight you by convincing you that I’m lying to you for your own benefit and protection.” Narcissists are truly manipulative, deceptive, lying inhuman beings.
@heathermixson1265
Жыл бұрын
Heard this myself!😂
@amandaliverpool3374
Жыл бұрын
🎯
@josmir2797
Жыл бұрын
I always get that from narcissists in my life who know me. It's always I'm too sensitive and need to calm down.
@gwendolynbien-aime1536
Жыл бұрын
@@josmir2797 Don’t believe what they say. “Too sensitive”= you are sensitive in that your gut instincts are telling you something is wrong. “Need to calm down”= pure gaslighting. The narc is panicking because they suspect you’re on to them. Listen to yourself😁
@foxiedogitchypaws7141
Жыл бұрын
What do you call them when it's your own son doing the exact same thing as his father did to me? Tried talking to him, reassuring him I love him no matter what, showing him , helping when I don't have the physical strength to do what his father did, ( sorry I'm just a woman) all the lies he tells , I don't understand it.
@CrazyEightyEights
Жыл бұрын
Narcissists do not share their true thoughts, feelings or deeds. Instead, they share the details of others (even those closest to them) foolish enough to confide in them.
@Nina-w7m8q
4 ай бұрын
It's sad to think that a 30-year relationship doesn't warrant honesty. They will lie about everything - including small things like spilling something on the rug - and then twist it to make it your fault.
@katioconnor5295
Жыл бұрын
Every comment made by a narcissist requires scrutiny before answering.... it's so exhausting
@anjahoeck9428
Жыл бұрын
Narcissists are the monsters of humanity..
@ChildoftheMostHigh1
Жыл бұрын
I don't engage them anymore. I choose peace and walk away.
@JessicaJLandi
Жыл бұрын
Their controlling & superiority attitude reveals their fear & shame base.
@joshuaanzalone2060
Жыл бұрын
Yep justseekerlanding
@ladennayoung2939
Жыл бұрын
Yep.
@naomicanuto3993
4 ай бұрын
Basically they're lying if they're breathing.
@billyrayvalentine7972
Жыл бұрын
Everything is staged, manipulated and dishonest. Once you realize that it is all some sick game you can begin the process of joining team healthy. Thank you Dr. Carter.
@stanleydrive740
Жыл бұрын
So we'll put! I hear you & I so agree!
@susanhill3100
Жыл бұрын
Thank you!... You're right... Hard pill to swallow 😪
@carolnahigian9518
Жыл бұрын
Our " " role Model"""made children part of ( and witness) his ESCAPADES WITH Decades of his cheating with mistresses. Ugly!
@susanhill3100
Жыл бұрын
@@carolnahigian9518 That's terrible... I'm sorry... You deserve better!... God Bless You 🙏
@colleenshea2293
Жыл бұрын
I believe they even rehearse what they are going to say and how - to elevate themselves above you - before they see you!
@preparedsurvivalist2245
Жыл бұрын
Underlying all narcicissts is a pathological liar.
@LoriPark1111
8 ай бұрын
Yup! 👍👍🙌
@LadyVandMrT
2 ай бұрын
This is great perspective, thank you for saying it this way
@jerinpeter1390
Ай бұрын
True! And they won't hesitate to throw anyone under the bus including their flying monkeys!
@Nancy-yw1rr
Жыл бұрын
Not 100%, but typically if my ex's lips were moving, he was lying. He even lied when there was no reason to lie. Then he'd become outraged if you dared to call him out. And he called ME a nut job. 🙄
@thecustodian1023
Жыл бұрын
That's the kind of house I grew up in. Reality didn't matter, what nonsensical story dad made up was what mattered.
@terriwilmottw
Жыл бұрын
Same Nancy, don’t know how I missed it. Took my then 5 yo to tell me his daddy was a liar, I didn’t see it. I can now, so obvious
@Stardusted1
Жыл бұрын
Omg. You were with my ex weren’t you. Initials GD. I bet you were!😂😂
@joshuaanzalone2060
Жыл бұрын
Yep that's what they do,blame you for the exact things they are committing, deflection and projection at its finest
@thecustodian1023
Жыл бұрын
@@joshuaanzalone2060 That's what my dad would do. Literally make up something ridiculously untrue on the spot then claim it was me who just said it. The sad part is how I can have that happening on camera (clean clear audio and video at that) and nobody in the family will even look at it to see that I am not lying.
@carolentringer8836
Жыл бұрын
1. You don't deserve my favor. 2. I'm not the one here with control issues. 3. You would be a better person if you shared my opinions. 4. If you think that I'm fearful, you're wrong. 5. I'm not ashamed. 6. My personal life is none of your business. 7. You are the one who is judgmental. 8. If I'm mad, it's because of you.
@yukio_saito
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for taking notes.
@jchur7128
Жыл бұрын
Thank-you! 😊
@cjoy2024
Ай бұрын
They BOLDLY proclaim " I don't cheat! I'm not a cheater
@sharonjones5173
Жыл бұрын
I can’t believe you missed my personal favorite-“After all I’ve done for you” which they will throw at you the minute they don’t get their way, you won’t defer to them on everything the minute they want it or are busy and not celebrating their wonderfulness. Or in the case of my narcissist mother, what she has ever done for me is absolutely nothing.
@denicehaley9902
Жыл бұрын
I believe he covered this in a recent video. Life’s not a competition to see who’s King or Queen if the Hill! Disgusting because most of us survivors have “done” so much more physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually in the relationship without any words of thanks!
@delenafranckenberg9639
Жыл бұрын
Yes, my favourite too! I said the other day that I didn't realise that doing something for someone out of the goodness of your heart comes with a price tag. I was also blamed for getting him to do things for me but in the meantime he'd offered!
@Mr_X753
Жыл бұрын
This was the final straw that ended my friendship with a narc. I had family visiting that I don’t get to see often. Narc bought tickets last minute to a concert and texted me an hour before it started. She just couldn’t believe that I wouldn’t ditch my visiting relatives to go hang out with her for this unexpected concert invite. She said she did “everything” in our friendship and “being friends was such a burden but she was willing to bear that responsibility”. Whatever 🙄. Good riddance…
@robertataylor5794
Жыл бұрын
One of the last things my ex NPD told me, "you'll never be able to repay me for all of the things I've done for (to) you."
@barbarakelly1916
Жыл бұрын
Oh, yeah! I got that one, too, when I asked for time to think things over. Gult-o-rama!!
@rosieE121
Жыл бұрын
A narcissist asks very personal questions and expects answers from you. If you ask them about themselves they say "none of your business".
@christinelamb1167
Жыл бұрын
Yes, so true! My ex-narc boyfriend informed me that "we're not married, so I don't have to answer your questions", when I was just trying to be a good listener!
@chanel82593
Жыл бұрын
My ex said this verbatim when I suspected him if cheating. That was his excuse why I couldn’t look in his phone and especially NOT his emails. It was nuts. And because I wouldn’t let it go… the discard came.
@bereal6590
Жыл бұрын
My goodness that's so spot on. They want to know everything but give nothing away or at least that's the covert in my life! Same time they expect me to be a mind reader! It's boring and irritating and they can play the gotcha game or claim martyrdom when you don't do the 'right' thing
@rosieE121
Жыл бұрын
@@bereal6590 yes, and they can switch to aggressive when no one else is around.
@Liz-in8lu
Жыл бұрын
Wow wow wow. Yes yes yes!!! 1000% true. I couldn’t get why he’d never answer me but I had to explain everything to him…
@Lola-mt1ne
Жыл бұрын
I was in a narcissistic relationship for 5 years. I really thought if I could just understand them, the relationship would improve. Wrong.
@helenhighwater5313
Жыл бұрын
Yep, and early in the relationship bet they said, "no one understands me like you do". A common ploy to snag their quarry.
@coldfact.
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely wrong! No matter how much right u do, it wont make them better or see rhemselves for what they truly are. They will only comtinue to make excuses blaming you & even hate u more for that goodness u have naturally within, that they don't. That deeply bothers them so they lash out, finding ways to make you the reason why... 🥺
@mb1015
Жыл бұрын
Been there!!!
@ashleymullenstanley7670
Жыл бұрын
So funny i did to
@wordswordswords8203
Жыл бұрын
Yeah. Very wrong. Glad you got out.
@zacktaylor-bw8fx
3 ай бұрын
Some days I feel nuts until I hear Dr. Carter's voice😅
@Michelle-zk3po
13 күн бұрын
@@zacktaylor-bw8fx thank you...he is certainly calming
@skywithdiamonds5109
Жыл бұрын
My personal favorite, "I dont lie".
@mikesmith6594
3 ай бұрын
One I hear I don't never play mind games you are just paranoid. What I hear!
@LadyVandMrT
2 ай бұрын
What if someone really doesn't lie though?
@Jewels1573
Жыл бұрын
They have the 'do it my way or your stupid.'
@joshuaanzalone2060
Жыл бұрын
Yep jewels and I do things my way
@ladennayoung2939
Жыл бұрын
Yes. I have heard one of my aunt's call people stupid basically because they didn't do what she wanted them to do something or how she wanted them to do it.
@evelynwells-rk1ed
Жыл бұрын
My narcissist tells me I'm the problem!
@SteeleMagnolia
Жыл бұрын
When my husband of twelve years, who always wrote me love letters during his 24-hours shifts at the fire department, suddenly gets exposed for his infidelities. This level of deception should be criminal, especially when you throw in the mix our three young sons. This man turned out to be someone that I really never knew at all, and the epitome of evil, once his secrets were revealed.
@jellybean6778
Жыл бұрын
And there you have it, reason number 104 why you need to know the person before marrying him. Take your time getting engaged and during the engagement and see the other person in a variety of situations so you understand who the other person really is. This takes more than a couple of years when the narc is on good behavior. Whether you did this or not, there were clues all along the way that you missed or, more likely for some of them, ignored, so that you could avoid a confrontation. I didn't rush it and let it unfold so I could see who he really was. He wanted marriage early on and I didn't, preferring to get to know him. The mask eventually came off when he realized i would not consent to being controlled (what he thought marriage would give him), and he revealed the monster - the one that didn't care. Turns out it was all about control through lies and manipulation. Then the smear campaign started. I am so grateful I waited. If that clown couldn't participate in an honest and loving relationship without signing a marriage contract, how could he manage it with one?
@SteeleMagnolia
Жыл бұрын
@@jellybean6778 You are 100% correct. I didn't realize how much my childhood affected my adult decisions, and narcissism was something I knew absolutely nothing of. The life that my five siblings and I suffered, by the hands of a malignant narcissistic mother, was nightmarish, where no form of love existed. As a child, I did everything in my power to gain the love and acceptance of the woman that brought me into this world, but to no avail. As an adult, but way too late in life, I discovered what narcissism was, but not until I had subjected myself to more narcissistic abuse, by the men I married. The vicious and dysfunctional foundation that our sick mother laid for us will always be a part of what we are today, no matter how much knowledge is gained through enlightenment of narcissism. The love that we all so desperately sought would have us ignoring the red flags, because ANY show of love from others was better than what we had.
@katewaters2624
Жыл бұрын
A narcissist sucks you in with the phrase. “You’re my soul mate”
@SurvivingNarcissism
Жыл бұрын
Ugh. They mean it in a codependent way.
@othmane-mezian
Жыл бұрын
They mean your soul is my property
@JessicaJLandi
Жыл бұрын
"Don't you trust me?"
@christinetravalihamburg2781
Жыл бұрын
I am so glad that, although you are retired, you are still “available.” Thank you dear doctor.
@SurvivingNarcissism
Жыл бұрын
You are very welcome. I still have some gas in the tank.
@rickydale1347
Жыл бұрын
They will tell every lie imaginable to not admit they lied.
@ponderosa...6559
4 ай бұрын
The moment you don't "go along to get along," the narc will most generally stay away from you. It's a win for YOU!!
@goldilocks3593
Жыл бұрын
I have found a big red flag is anyone who repeatedly goes out of their way to let you know how “honest” or “trustworthy” they are .. probably isn’t. Also repeated use of any kind of words like “always” or “never” is something to really pay attention to, since very few things always or never happen. It seems like a type of overcompensation or like they are actually trying to convince themselves. “I have NEVER (lol) cheated”, etc.
@Gneiss365
Жыл бұрын
"Always" and "never" are black and white thinking. If used to describe their own actions, they "always" do the good/right thing, and "never" do the bad thing. The one that I worked with "always" did the good thing she did only once in 6 years, even though there were hundreds of opportunities to do it again, and "never" did the thing I saw her do at least a dozen times in the past year. If they know they're lying in an attempt to control your perception of them, they must expect you to be so enamoured with them/so dumb/unobservant that you can't see the truth.
@chanel82593
Жыл бұрын
💯… my ex made a point to tell me how LOYAL.. and HONEST he was . He was most definitely trying to convince me and himself. I did see it as a red flag… and though it was weird because he was so secretive etc.. turns out he was the COMPLETE OPPOSITE!! I learned a valuable lesson to leave and trust my judgement and intuition. I ignored it a year too long.
@morebirdsandroses
Жыл бұрын
Boy are you ever on it. I had so much "best intentions" from my narc mother, who meanwhile twisted or ignored anything I ever said I needed or wanted. The hurt of seeing her go out of her way to distort the simplest statements of who I was or am is staggering.
@yukio_saito
Жыл бұрын
In addition to that, words like "everybody else" or "no one else."
@Ma-Says
Жыл бұрын
That type of black and white thinking is typical in my relationship. I think it’s part of the grandiosity with my narc. Taking everything to the extreme is a constant. If I try to reason then they say I’m being defensive or I’m ignored. If it’s not an important issue then I just grey rock and remember not to go DEEP (don’t defend, explain, engage, or personalize). Sad but helpful.
@sunbeagle9769
Жыл бұрын
Be the person your dog believes that you are.
@allenone6970
Жыл бұрын
Learned early, a dog will not bark at a crazy person. They cower in fear.
@sunbeagle9769
Жыл бұрын
@@allenone6970 Absolutely! They have a primal instinct that tells them when they meet another predator!
@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS
Жыл бұрын
Awesome quote! My girl looks very similar to this except shorter ears and more pronounced cow brown spots over white. I think she's part pit, like pit/lab. Lean and fast but not super short coarse hair but softer instead.
@s.hicks7213
Жыл бұрын
Good point! I love dogs-wouldn’t it be wonderful if people could treat each other more like the animals in our lives? Unfortunately I’ve seen the other side of what happens when poor sweet dogs who’ve been loyal and unconditionally loving towards their owners yet get beaten and horrifically abused by cruel, sadistic, cowards which all they live for is to wreck misery among the lives of those they should be loving towards and caring after too. 😢 Im finished and fed up with those with no heart or light within them. No more will I waste energy on those who do not understand love or empathy and what it means to live and let live in what brings others peace. Yep! I’m done with controllers, and abusers and I don’t let them intimidate me anymore.
@LoriPark1111
8 ай бұрын
Hahahaaaa cute! 🫶🥰
@noidreculse8906
Жыл бұрын
Just RUN, it’s hopeless
@LynneLaRochelle
7 ай бұрын
Narcissists just take a disproportionate amount of energy. I much prefer to exit the relationship once i realize what is causing the stress and weirdness.
@druchampion-payne1489
Жыл бұрын
My ex mother-in-law (she passed away last month) used to make such rude remarks to me over the phone or in person, and I thought it was my duty to just put up with it ... for over 35 years I never said a *word* to her and defended myself, I always took her mean remarks on the chin and just let my husband talk to her (sometimes he wouldn't though). So after 35 years of this abuse from her I finally stood up to her myself during a phone call that *she* made to me, criticizing me for not doing something that she *expected* me to do and all of her I "should" comments ... so I finally said "I'm tired of you criticizing me" ...that's all I said. And boy did she let me have it, and she completely flipped everything back on me and pretended not to know what I was talking about, and then insulted me by telling me I'm "just too sensitive" and she laughed while saying this ... and still laughing she also said, "I guess I need to speak more carefully to you haha!!" She was awful. And it was after that conversation that I decided to go no contact so I blocked her number. A year later she passed away. Now I finally have some peace, from her anyway. But her flying monkeys, my sisters-in-law, are another story.
@stuffchat
Жыл бұрын
Flying monkeys. That's the term I was looking for to describe those who always attack you if you dare stand up against the narcissist. Flying monkeys are my daily problem in my struggle against the narcissist who's destroying all my life joy.
@Aweedamae.
Жыл бұрын
Be strong, knowledge is power.
@reneedwards1082
Жыл бұрын
Exactly same but ontop of that she wrote an autobiography where she described me as mentally unstable. I cut her off but have been forced to receive her back as she will not live very long. Just pray and be strong. There must be something missing in them to want to pick on you! ❤❤
@barbsmart7373
Жыл бұрын
Wow.
@barbsmart7373
Жыл бұрын
@@stuffchat Hope you can get out, still having your wits about you.
@leilagomulka5690
Жыл бұрын
Yes, the pre emptive strike motif : “I will shame you before you shame me”
@franciscoguevara9727
Жыл бұрын
im in a point in my own healing of 4 years from cptsd and having selfcompassion and healthy boundariesto keep my inner child safe and choose safe enough people that i can see that narc energy easily, i grew up with a narc parent, they are very toxic, but they also exxist in the world , how do i navigate the world that has these type of people, chose my safe enough other people to get my needs met whom are available, andtake up my space in thew world anyway and shrae my true self, i am not interested in someone needing to dominate the relationship, i want to share my true self, and conenct with safe people so i just keep healthy emotional distance and boundaries take up my space for my inner child and choose my safe enough people........ thats very healthy for me, we keep healing, with gentleness humor love and respect. God speed . take care everyone :)
@JHixon-bi8ok
Жыл бұрын
My narcissist won’t outright lie; but he’s very secretive. He is not honest about what his plans are, what his opinions are, etc. He just won’t communicate anything that matters. It’s like he thinks that by being secretive, it gives him power in every situation.
@SendItForward
Жыл бұрын
"I may or may not have said that" is one I heard often. "You are over reacting", "I had good intentions", "I was only kidding", "Stop taking everything soooo negatively" and the topper "You should know that I love you". 🙄 I did know, his was an "as long as you tow MY barge and bale MY hay" type of, gag, love.... make him look good, keep the home, yard, kids, garden PERFECT, and never need any time just for yourself (like HE got to have cuz see, HE worked all day) 😂. He never could see that the ONLY reason he DID get to do whatever he wanted after work was because I took care of everything within the "home" environment yet I rarely had time for myself while he would go fishing with his buddies, shoot with THEM and hog hunt...with them of course (hunting, fishing and camping were activities I loved doing growing up and was one of the main reasons, he said, he was attracted to me). Time spent w me was a list of things he wanted me to do, sigh, 😢, and my "wifely" duty, no matter how tired I was, had to always be available because "I have NEEDS" was his most favorite comment. This video's already bringing a flood of memories and it ain't even started yet!!! 😅
@Underachiever_Files
Жыл бұрын
Had a wife that behaved just like your ex husband. The resemblance is amazing 😂. We don't want to re-live all that. Let's release it now, like Dr.C says. Thanks for sharing!
@SendItForward
Жыл бұрын
@@Underachiever_Files oh I have already released them, yrs ago, that's why I can laugh at it now and just shake my head at the absurdity of it all.
@denicehaley9902
Жыл бұрын
Great analogy of what I still hear almost daily! Ug!
@SendItForward
Жыл бұрын
@@denicehaley9902 oh sister.. I hate that for you 😭. Towards the end, before I separated from him, I began saying NO!!! as MY right to decide if I WANT to "participate" in sex with him, not as MY DUTY to him🤮. He drew some lines after that and I crossed EVERY SINGLE ONE OF EM!!! Showed me just how much control he didn't have over me and what a hypocrite he really was too. I pray God be with you and help you. 💗 I'll add here that the old song "Bluebird" became one that explains me best... I'm a Keeper and I keep digging down for the deep, like the records I'm playing they might keep you waitin but you know I'm gonna play em for keeps. Another words I'm not changing me for anyone ever again. 🤗
@denicehaley9902
Жыл бұрын
@@SendItForward, thank you. I haven’t had sex in at least 8 years because it’s not “a right” of his. And my “body doesn’t belong to him” when he’s not the servant sacrificial head Christ called him to be.
@delenafranckenberg9639
Жыл бұрын
I said to the narcissist ex today that it isn't a coincidence that myself and his ex wife had an almost identical experience of him. I was then told I'm a big joke as so many other people (who think he's great) can't be wrong. I reminded him that her and I had seen him without the masks he wears to impress others. No response.
@Feribrat99
Жыл бұрын
yep --no way to spin that comment is there? LOL
@LadyVandMrT
2 ай бұрын
Of course no response. You can't present a narc with evidence, duh. They run away then and pretend you don't exist until enough time has passed that they can pretend nothing ever happened.
@alastairwest5200
Жыл бұрын
You're dealing with a chameleon; you cannot communicate with someone who constantly shape shifts and whose truth is whatever it is for them in the moment...
@baronvonbunghole5999
Жыл бұрын
I reached my breaking point this week. My narc grandpa signed me up to insurance he kept claiming he got for free the last few years, but then when I was actually signed up, he started talking about how much it would cost him, and he would expect me to pay it back to him. And how ungrateful I was for not thanking him enough. And he was giving me an awful driving lesson, screaming, insulting, etc. And when I was understandably frustrated afterwards, he said that I was making myself feel this way. The next day, he said "Sure I was abusive, but I have to be at times!" And that was just awful to hear for someone who I gave 5 years of my life to just out of pity of him having nobody in his life. I'm cutting him out of my life by any means necessary, because I have so many other family members and friends who love and cherish me as much as I do them. And if he's alone at the end of his life, that's entirely his own fault
@76482
Жыл бұрын
I could be wrong but to my ears your granpa doesn't sound like a true narc because: 1) He did consider your future well being by getting the insurance to ensure you have a safety net after he's gone. Narcs NEVER consider anyone other than themselves unless fake love bombing or trying to grandiose impress someone. 2) He admitted to doing something wrong then explained the (albeit bad) reason. Narcs don't admit mistakes and they double/triple down with excuses and gaslight. Please try talking to grandpa and in a non accusatory manner tell him the same as you've posted. Kindly inform him of your personal boundaries - a narc will intentionally ignore and violate boundaries, then make sure you know that they did. If you're a female it could just be a behavior clash because males generally tend to think in unemotional business focused type terms. Ironically back in the day my dad did the exact same driving lesson stress with me, yelling the whole time as if I was expected to already know how to drive! I ended up stomping back home on foot and he never gave me another lesson. Eventually got my DL and quickly made the mistake of side swiping his car when trying to parallel park my mom's car 😂
@lizvermaas9703
Жыл бұрын
Do what you have to do for YOUR peace of mind. Abusive behaviour is just that. Bad behaviour should never be rewarded, or explained away Otherwise it will just continue. Carve out your own life, on your terms.
@patriciaalbertson5183
Жыл бұрын
YES. It it a result of his own attitudes, decisions, and actions!
@patriciaalbertson5183
Жыл бұрын
Yes... He could. Be a True Narsisist. There are different types and different degrees... They are manipulative... Getting insurance could be a form of control
@mindysmith3683
Жыл бұрын
Doing things out of pity will be your down fall ! Do not give pity to others .trust me I never helped anyone I felt pity for .
@ibico907
Жыл бұрын
Gus is my goal. So unbothered 😅😅
@SurvivingNarcissism
Жыл бұрын
Be zen, like Gus.
@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS
Жыл бұрын
“Not being tense but ready. Not thinking but not dreaming. Not being set but flexible. Liberation from the uneasy sense of confinement. It is being wholly and quietly alive, aware and alert, ready for whatever may come.” ― GUS
@michaelclark4043
Жыл бұрын
They've totally lost touch with reality.
@pamelafrancis6086
Жыл бұрын
Another thing they do is not look at you when you speak to them. They blab on about their issue, but can't be bothered with your perspective. Just wears you down and is so frustrating!
@wordswordswords8203
Жыл бұрын
The secrecy thing is huge. Total red flag. Yes, they totally can't be honest. I don't know the exact definition of a pathological liar, but aren't they usually that, too? I think my sister is a pathological liar. She is lying most of the time, even when there doesn't seem to be a reason for it. Great video. Ha, congrats on your retirement.
@qweej9890
6 ай бұрын
They would also say things like your so funny…which is a way of saying your dumb or silly
@Happytrails24
Жыл бұрын
My ex recently said to me "Just keep telling yourself ABC, then eventually it will be your truth; you'll actually believe it. That's what I do!" I said, omg, thank you for finally admitting that. 🙄
@cynthiadeford7481
Жыл бұрын
My husband said and I quote...."my personal life is non of your concern". I was absolutely floored by what he said!! 😮
@SurvivingNarcissism
Жыл бұрын
Remember, they are ruled by their False Self. In other words, they are dishonest people, keepers of secrets.
@heidiuridge1584
4 ай бұрын
Didnt except brothers threats so now im paying the consequences according to him.. no contact
@jazz_and_tea
Жыл бұрын
This is so spot on. Covert narcissist do not make such comments but they hold their beliefs that you can discern from their behaviour and deeds. Such individuals are extremely indirect.
@morebirdsandroses
Жыл бұрын
Yes! They can be sneaky as h*** all while holding up how deeply they care about you and about virtuous values.
@jazz_and_tea
Жыл бұрын
@@morebirdsandroses yeah on the outside they will never admit otherwise as they try to maintain that kind of persona who is never angry, always kind and caring and if they are non responsive it is because they are busy or worrying about something while the truth is their behaviour and deeds are the reflection of the 8 beliefs stated in this video, it is just that covert narcissists are almost never explicit and direct so they don’t make such comments of dishonesty but do think them in their mind and express them indirectly through their actions and behaviour. Words serve them only to veil the facts (Machiavelli).
@morebirdsandroses
Жыл бұрын
@@jazz_and_tea It gives me terrible "creeps" to have realized that I was responding to the signs of what she wants people to believe while seeing the truth little by little, almost a feeling like hallucinating! I think it was just too upsetting to see I'd been taken in by someone so like my mother. I'm glad to be trusting that I don't have to do anything but say bye-bye. Thanks so much for that thorough laying out of this sick mechanism they live by.
@sandyinsc5024
Жыл бұрын
When they explain their behavior before anyone asks...
@ThePortalTheory
Жыл бұрын
Growing up w a narcissistic mother who said to me in my adult years "i shouldnt have gotten married and had kids". I told her ty for being honest. You could tell she thought this was a good thing. My heart shattered. Its a dark day when you realize your parent is a narcissist because they wont care 💔. A lot of tears so if anyone coming to these videos 😢 because they are finding out a loved one is a narcissist just know you are not alone. Please talk to someone preferably professional. Your life will start to make sense but unfortunately that 'aha' is followed by complete and total devastation since you now know they wont change. Get help please 🙏. ❤ to all.
@schroongarden
Жыл бұрын
I said this once but it was because I married a narcissist and desperately tried to survive and protect my children. My kids turned against me and became quite defiant. It wasn’t what you think- I love them more than anything- it was the grief of knowing I could never fix it . The chaos confused and crushed me. No internet then. I had no idea what was going on
@EJulia33
Жыл бұрын
Yes, this sounds like my mother. She told me she could have had a different life if it weren’t for me and could have moved to Australia. Another time she told me I was a mistake of birth control. Then one of the last things she said before I mostly cut contact was I was a complete failure in life and that she was ashamed of me. I bought her house for what it was appraised at and she said she wanted her equity and was going to sue me. I walked out and have only said a few words to her since even though we live in a duplex. My half sister, her other daughter who I believe is also a narc, is looking after her taking her to doctor appointments, etc. I feel mostly free and so much better. It only gets worse with time. I am 50 now and went into therapy by myself at 15. It doesn’t get any better, only worse. The only way I could hope was by pretending the elephant in the room did not exist.
@tschweiz3401
Жыл бұрын
My breaking point with my narcissistic partner of 11years was when he slipped up once and gaslit me too obviously. We had a 3 hour argument about who is responsible for who’s feelings. He said I was responsible for what I “made” him feel. A couple days later he tried to tell me we had been saying the same thing all along and I KNEW it wasn’t true for once. My eyes were rudely opened to his lies and nature. Now I’m getting free.
@aliceroberts1980
Жыл бұрын
Yep same here he’s lying to me I know he lying he KNEW he was lying and did it anyway!
@shirleyprater6779
Жыл бұрын
Just filed to end my 31 year marriage. I fought so hard to keep it together. Everything was my fault only, I always picked the wrong time of day to talk to him, I was "too sensitive", I had to be a maintenance woman for our home. He used me up.
@denicehaley9902
Жыл бұрын
Me, too! I’m physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted after 35+ years and all 3 adult daughters disowning me. 😢
@shirleyprater6779
Жыл бұрын
@penijoni1316 It just isn't right for them to treat us the way they do. I'd like to be a mouse in the corner when they (he) tries to explain it away to Jesus. I'm exhausted and used up. My divorce was filed Friday. I hope I have the strength to heal. Good luck to you and God bless.
@shirleyprater6779
Жыл бұрын
@@denicehaley9902 Did he turn your daughters against you?
@rwdchannel2901
Жыл бұрын
Considering how pathetic the narcissist sees you there's no reason to try and change the narcissist. The first thing to start changing is to admit there's a problem. A narcissist won't admit they're the problem to someone they have such disdain for.
@morebirdsandroses
Жыл бұрын
That's a great summation. I needed to hear that ❤
@mindysmith3683
Жыл бұрын
How can they be the problem when we are ? Lol
@aaronkwolfe
Жыл бұрын
Ooh. I’m in. Hearing my (estranged, narcissistic) wife claim over and over how truthful she was, I’m curious to hear about what red flags I obviously missed. I believed in her honesty. Until after the discard grand finale. Then I saw what lies and spin she used to gain support and sympathy from everyone who simply believed everything she told about how horrible I was.
@SendItForward
Жыл бұрын
Me too Aarrow.
@thecustodian1023
Жыл бұрын
Living the same here while watching them from afar as their world looks to be burning down around them.
@terriwilmottw
Жыл бұрын
Me too but husband, it’s not a gender but type of person 😢 wish I saw it earlier
@markjayw666
Жыл бұрын
You know what the red flags were. Going through similar situation. My soon to be ex wife “I am in the top 1% of Mary Kay directors in the nation” Where is the pink Cadillac? Red Flag!!
@goldilocks3593
Жыл бұрын
They do go out of their way to let you know how “honest” they are .. in retrospect that is a big red flag. No actually honest person would feel the need to do this.
@CybertronGangsta
Жыл бұрын
I'm just done. No more talking, no more anything. I'm out.
@Dj.D25
Жыл бұрын
As a Christian, some Christians who I asked or corrected about their odd behaviors that clearly were wrong would often say “You’re judging me!” Or “Don’t judge me!”. Some I do suspect are narcissist and they sometimes put on a show online of how God fearing they are. Sometimes these people would get upset with me for things I may say or do but they don’t want to talk about it.
@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690
Жыл бұрын
Sounds like a bad religion. Probably a cult
@rascallyrabbit
Жыл бұрын
yup...hypocrisy
@ckvarnmass
Жыл бұрын
Christianity is a man-made religion. It has given a place for narcissistic people to hide. I’ve been there with all of that best thing you can do for yourself as break free from the Christianity mold.
@ckvarnmass
Жыл бұрын
What is so hilariously funny about dishonesty, and a narcissist, is that deeply inside of them they know how ugly they are, and they do feel guilt, but it’s secretly felt. After our divorce, in the upcoming years ahead, he would have himself baptized three different times. He would just go to a different church that way no one would know that he was constantly trying to cleanse himself of his evil deeds towards me.
@aaronkwolfe
Жыл бұрын
As a fellow believer, I’d recommend Matthew 18:15-17 directing a believer to confront one who has offended you, where the goal is restoration. If they refuse to shed light on an area that you are trying to help them with, consider John 3:20 (“Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.” NIV). Rules for confronting: it is between the 2 of you; the goal is their restoration. 1 Peter 2:12-17 reminds us that our behavior is important. It is seen by believers and unbelievers alike. Live in a way that makes a positive difference to both.
@EstherH85
Жыл бұрын
My narc would fly into an unreasonable rage-tantrum anytime responsibility or accountability were on the table. He would say that it's my fault he's angry and that would somehow justify his awfulness toward me
@kathiemihindukulasuriya1538
Жыл бұрын
How do malignant narcissists react to someone extend grace and mercy to them in a time of distress? I did this recently after the death of a loved one and got a cruel comment from them when I posted a link to a song I found comforting in a family thread. I guess it just means that even tragedy will not change their way of interacting.
@joshuaanzalone2060
Жыл бұрын
Kathie they despise you even more the more you love them
@barbarakelly1916
Жыл бұрын
You did the kind thing. The response you received reflected the other person's state of mind....at that point, 'it's on them". I like the main line of the Taylor Swift song (Shake it off!") and find something fun /positive to do, to move on. Life is too short ...(and I'm in my 80's).
@ladennayoung2939
Жыл бұрын
You generally may have to disengage with them altogether, and you have to choose to be okay with that.
@ladennayoung2939
Жыл бұрын
And when someone is grieving (even a healthy minded individual), they may be short with you or respond in anger. It is also a part of the grieving process. Just choose to love on them and love them from a distance and pray for them. That is all you can do, really.
@delenafranckenberg9639
Жыл бұрын
I took care of helping out and running errands for around a month for the narcissist ex after complications from an operation developed only to find out afterwards that during this time he was grooming someone else and that she delivered flowers and chocolates to him while I was not there.
@heathergreyart
Жыл бұрын
On my walk yesterday I found a worm, got really excited, took a photo with my phone. Narc husband starts gaslighting, convincing me that it was a stick from a fallen tree, I thought at first maybe he was actually mistaken as there were many on the ground. It was moving, clearly also a different colour. Yet, he cannot be authentic he has to toss my reality away to create a false reality for me to buy.. Kept pounding it in, while looking at the photo, "that is a stick, Heather." ..Even passed off as "humour" it's not funny trying to make someone feel weird/wrong no matter what.. It's amazing how they lie, about anything, everything.. What a waste of time they want to create an argument instead of enjoy beautiful moments..
@mindysmith3683
Жыл бұрын
Yeah! Always say something negative or make you think , one thing I noticed I go to buy a cake mix he'd tell me buy chocolate I'll eat some , he never eats it . Just likes making me buy something other than what I want ! With all the others crazy he is .
@heathergreyart
Жыл бұрын
@@mindysmith3683 - What is your favourite cake mix flavour? ...because we should definitely have some together! 🙌😎 At the same time that's what you wanted, that was the goal, what you were excited for - was simply the act of doing something together, & you were willing to compromise what flavour it didn't even matter to you- you just wanted to spend time with the person, & they don't care about your love language... You deserve credit, & appreciation. All you wanted to do was make, then sit, & eat cake with someone. We communicate with hard facts what we need, & are still denied, after direct communication, communication is still an issue for narcs, they aren't receptive, it's like someone cut the phone line, & they don't receive our words/message? They don't get how to enjoy life, they just want to discard others - dehumanized because they take away our free will or do not care, it is emotionally abusive punishment tactics.. ✨Honour your inner child, & still enjoy. What they say or do does not determine our self-worth /value... Know you don't have to do or be anything to be loved, you are loved, exactly as you are. 💖 *Sending you hugs* 🤗
@LadyVandMrT
2 ай бұрын
Wow, that's really special. Sheesh /genuine
@wordswordswords8203
Жыл бұрын
There is a trick I learned a while back in how to deal with a narc when they try to back you up against the wall, ask uncomfortable questions, put you on the spot one way or the other, pressure you, etc. whether this is due to you confronting them or they are just doing it. You pause then take your time and say something like, "I need some time to think about that." Or something. You owe them no quick explanation, often no explanation at all but they have this tendency to bully and put you on the spot, especially when you have just called them out. Try to keep your cool and don't fall for it.
@SurvivingNarcissism
Жыл бұрын
I am so with you on this. Thanks for posting it!
@wordswordswords8203
Жыл бұрын
Thanks! You're welcome!
@archfordmusademba100
Жыл бұрын
These people..... l don't want to see these people anywhere near me. l was there for years ... never again.
@joshuaanzalone2060
Жыл бұрын
Yep Archford NEVER AGAIN
@colleenshea2293
Жыл бұрын
It can take a long time to discover the way to handle a narcissist. With age and lots of experience I now find it simple: Share nothing of importance whatsoever with a narc, limit the time you spend with them, and give them no entry points.
@LadyVandMrT
2 ай бұрын
Coincidentally, this is also how you handle vampires (a metaphysical term for people who steal energy). I think perhaps there's some overlap here, hmm
@jonb4722
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for doing so much good for the world in your retirement, mate.
@SurvivingNarcissism
Жыл бұрын
Thanks Jon. It's a gratifying task for me.
@jenniferyates8100
Жыл бұрын
Thank you Dr C I appreciate you very much, for your knowledge and advice. You have been a great help to me on this personality disorder. My husband 93, has dementia as well.
@rascallyrabbit
Жыл бұрын
they serve the father of all lies
@roypruett2844
Жыл бұрын
My narcissist once told me "I always tell the truth, unless I'm telling a story!" What does that mean, you're lying all the time?
@SurvivingNarcissism
Жыл бұрын
I interpret that as...Even when I am truthful, it's just a ploy that allows me to lie.
@deanofrock6236
Жыл бұрын
Narcissists call me delusional.
@gwendolynlee7014
Ай бұрын
This is so helpful..Sadly the reverse blaming, shaming, and gaslighted was all I ever got from my Narc mom until the day she passed
@donna-colorado8443
Жыл бұрын
Mine used to say you should just be grateful I stop by to see you. This is from a man who got down on his knees in my living room on 10/23/2022 and committed to me that he would do everything he had to for us to be together. Then, in February 2023, he said to just call him a liar and forget about it. I have let myself believe all his lies for almost 8 years, but I have finally asked him to stop calling me and I have blocked him in every way I can. I would rather be alone than put up with anymore lies and future faking.
@stuffchat
Жыл бұрын
Lol, yeah can I relate! There's this narcissist who keeps acting like I should be ever so grateful and overtly happy when he pays me any attention after long periods of silence from him; he deliberately rations out the attention he gives me and always interval with the rejection periods during which he "punishes" me for whatever nonsense he made up, by ignoring me for long times. I'm like dude, I've long become indifferent towards you, almost forgot who you are; you're just making a fool of yourself. So odd how they act like they actually are meaningful and indispensible to their victims.
@tab0419
Жыл бұрын
Treacherous malevolence is what they exude…. Like Doc says, all a result of simply not being able to be honest with theirselves which leads to all of the dishonest bullshi* they put everyone else through… Selfishness….just all out selfishness 😔
@darrynreid4500
Жыл бұрын
A big deal-breaker for me was the combination of claiming infallible righteousness with relentless dishonesty, particularly in the form of dictating what I supposedly think, what my motivations are or about what my business was allegedly all about. So while we recognise more readily their first-order dishonesty of lying about things, these people try to pickle you in dishonesty, including dishonesty about their dishonesty and in claiming to know things they cannot possibly know.
@stuffchat
Жыл бұрын
I concur. Been there with the narcissist who always accused me of lying when I obviously was not. Fortunately over the years complete and total indifference set in on my side and I was finally able to go no contact easily.
@darrynreid4500
Жыл бұрын
@@stuffchat I similarly found the only answer to the insane drama where reason and facts don't matter, and where I always had to be wrong about everything, no matter what, was to just not be a part of it. I quickly ended up just not giving the vaguest crap what they thought.
@definitelydaphne777
Жыл бұрын
Lived with a covert narc, I say lived as I manifest my escape. The mother is one also and both have played their manipulative BS , lying , gossiping, critical nonsense with me. I shared this text, hope they “ Get It “ I remove and block any energies around me that pretend to like me , drain me, use me, envy me or secretly want to be in competition with me. We are here to inspire each other. I am in my own lane and I am here for my own missions.
@salvatorelicata8768
Жыл бұрын
You're right. I am the problem. Why? Because I'm here. I'm now going to solve this problem I'm walking away Problem solved
@slanjbo
2 ай бұрын
Once you start detaching and showing no prioritization towards them, especially in a group setting, you will see them making more effort to show weak favour to others. Attempts to get you to react, which when you don’t they end up looking the fool. Ultimately if this happens, you don’t react, and they lash out to you, you will gain respect back from those involved that they have tried to undermine and talk garbage about you to them in the past.
@zimbabs
Жыл бұрын
"My anger is your fault!"
@dawngardner1271
Жыл бұрын
Mine was a West Point graduate. He always said he was trained to do the hard right. I’ve never seen someone lie like him.
@ronpintx
Жыл бұрын
Eureka! *Why narcissist CANNOT answer a simple YES or NO question - with a YES or NO answer* -- It would cede too much power to allow you to form both a question *and* the format of the answer! (I'm on to you 'hon)
@zimbabs
Жыл бұрын
I know a narcissist who told me she ALWAYS takes the opposing side to anything anyone says to her even when she knows that person is right. "I enjoy testing people." So she's just one walking, talking argument siphoning off everyone's engeries.
@mattdonna9677
Жыл бұрын
I share a house with her clone, it's so frustrating.
@davidrobert2007
Жыл бұрын
My ex girlfriend once admitted that she did this to me, she would try to win the argument, even if she knew I was right. Glad to be away from that.
@ms.bubblestheclown1681
Жыл бұрын
They expose your misstakes in courts and also exaggerate and not tell whole truths totally lack empathy
@leandrahackwith3168
Жыл бұрын
'I'm mad because of you '. Response: "Everyone needs a scapegoat, glad I could be of help"
@carolinesand3821
Жыл бұрын
Living with ALL of those things makes me feel very heavy & weary, exhausting. Thank you. You are always right. 💕
@Boo-jy5ju
Жыл бұрын
My ex went rage mode if I had a different opinion. I was nice and calm. He just went nuts. I had to leave. He is crazy! He was fearful and weak.
@bitcoincountry8623
Жыл бұрын
You had the courage to leave, which means you are strong. It took me several years to leave my narc, but it was the best decision I ever made for myself. My mother is still with my emotionally abusive narc father after 66 years. She is NOT strong. She lives an alternative reality to cope. Strong people leave abusive relationships. We just feel trashed for a few years as we try to re-establish our self-worth. 🎉🎉🎉 Congrats.
@carolnahigian9518
Жыл бұрын
Wow; some PEOPLE really are WOLF IN SHEEP Clothing!
@rossanderson5243
Ай бұрын
Their opinions are their facts. It is normal to discuss opinions, but not with them because they think they’re discussing facts.
@sallyoakes7709
Жыл бұрын
I've often wondered lately if, in order to have a semblance of a relationship with my mom, I just pretend to believe everything and ask, when she asks what I think about thus-n-such, "I don't know, What should I think?" and just play ignorant when she telle me and say, "Oooohhhhh! Boy, I had it wrong!"
@karenricher5244
Жыл бұрын
Hi Les, I just want to thank you for all your videos. I’ve recently become aware of narcissism and realise, with the different types of narcissists, I’ve come across quite a few in my time. It’s so incredibly helpful for me as a reformed people pleaser to understand this destructive dynamic in certain people. I now feel better equipped to deal with narcissists and finally I have a name for what it is I’m dealing with. Sincerely, thank you 🙏 😊
@SurvivingNarcissism
Жыл бұрын
Thanks, Karen. So pleased!!
@wishuponastar3179
Жыл бұрын
I was raised to treat all people with respect and kindness. We don't know someone's upbringing or method of managing their life and people until we interact with them. Normally being free and trusting is natural to some of us without having to be on guard all the time. It is important when dealing with anyone to be mindful of observing them well before being generous with yourself. You have no idea what their intention is or what they want from you. They could come in with an intention to destroy you for whatever reason but show a trusting persona to get in close to you. The closer they are to you, the easier it is for them to do the most damage to you. They've gathered personal information of you and an impression of how they have worked you out to find your weaknesses and strengths. When you least expect it, they will put you into a comfortable, secure connection and then destroy you. Sometimes it's just because you're a nice person and they hate your happiness. Maybe they didn't get your attention or were rejected or are competing with you or you stood up to them and stopped them. It is their ineptitude that all this comes from instead of accepting themselves without comparing themselves to anyone else. Please don't change your kindness and nice nature because that is what heals all wounds. Sometimes people come to us that need what we have and instead of asking or appreciating, they destroy. Once a nice person, always a nice person. Once we die, it's over. No more second chances of being a good person as a human being in this life. Make it worthwhile and a good cause to be here.
@barb8760
Жыл бұрын
I really liked your comments! Thank you for posting. "Once a nice person, always a nice person"...i've had several people in my life who've resented me for trying be a kind person & have tried to destroy me for no other reason. It used to confuse me because I didn't understand why anyone would try to do that. I've learned how to better protect myself now while still trying to be kind & compassionate.
@dannymartinez8314
11 ай бұрын
When my wife would say ,"you don't scare me", I didn't understand why she would have to tell me that when she never had to fear me.
@SurvivingNarcissism
11 ай бұрын
She was revealing how fear based she is inwardly. Projection. BTW, notice how defensive she becomes and that will reveal the level of fear she has.
@dannymartinez8314
11 ай бұрын
@@SurvivingNarcissism i noticed that much later, I also began to understand when she would say, " we just do what you want to do, and you want me to keep my mouth shut and never speak up to you", I had thought I was losing my mind when I started questioning myself and then when i realized, oh my god this was her thinking I was competing with her for control and when i always wanted an stated she was my equal, she would never except that, she was telling me if i dont go along with her program, there will be no peace and i will regret it.
@kenyam8127
Жыл бұрын
I tried to tell my narc mum the truth😅 I was met with twisting my reality and telling me how wrong i was for stating my own reality...so crazy
@amandaliverpool3374
Жыл бұрын
My adult sons live with me. One of them has thrown every text book comment at me this week. The knowledge I have gained from here is helping me deal with the situation. I'm so grateful 🙏
@elizabethcary3626
Жыл бұрын
Everything he just said is exactly what my husband has been doing to me. He hasn’t talked to me in a month. It’s always his way or the highway.
@jellybean6778
Жыл бұрын
Take the highway. Start today.
@nuplanner5345
2 ай бұрын
I can no longer tell my mother where and when I go on vacation because she makes it all about how much she wants to go-and literally wails. Last summer she insisted she wanted to take care of the dog while we were away. The day before our flight she decided she couldn’t manage it and almost forced us to cancel the ten-day trip until I found a friend who could take care of him over the holidays.
@vivianking8143
Жыл бұрын
I was always told by our son's wife when we all were trying to work things out in meetings of issues, and I would call her out in her lies, " I can't help that you can't remember what you say." Thank you as always Dr. C. In Joy
@morebirdsandroses
Жыл бұрын
I hope you have that one in the rear-view mirror! Phew!
@vivianking8143
Жыл бұрын
@@traci7200 With respect to your comment, going on 6 yrs now, that our son and his wife made their statement to us, "there will be no more contact." Agreed, we have moved on and away, God has blessed in a mighty way with healing and daily prayers for them. Our son's wife, we choose not to call a daughter in law for she is not, is a deeply sick and troubled woman. I choose to keep to Dr. C's advice of self help, and his focus of decency, civility and respect, for myself. You do not know what all has transpired and yes, life is short, way too short and at my age getting shorter, therefore, I press on knowing full well we have done all we can, with all the sincerity and love for our son and his wife , to have a good relation. They have chosen and we are respecting their drawn line. In Joy
@vivianking8143
Жыл бұрын
@@morebirdsandroses Yes, and thanking my Father God for allowing me to find Dr. C. In Joy
@KarnivoreKaren
Жыл бұрын
#6, My personal life is none of your business.....after 45yrs I say this alot to my narcissistic husband. He loves to try and shame me on my thoughts and feelings so I don't talk to him anymore.
@sarahannelowe6557
Жыл бұрын
Yes, the secret double life that you know nothing about, and if you do find out there’s rage, silent treatments and blame on you that you went snooping!!😅
@mindysmith3683
Жыл бұрын
When he speaks to others I don't even want to be around , it's not who I know . Ii also will never read his phone , he knows this . Why see all that , you can't talk about it or ? It , they will lie .
@CL-lo4wd
Жыл бұрын
Once again, your video is holding me together after a really traumatic situation with a narc that left me so far back in my progress. It’s exactly what you are saying here. Thank you for helping me restore my sanity.
@2wheelsarefun73
Жыл бұрын
What situation if you don’t mind me asking?
@jennw6809
Жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. I hope you're feeling better by now.
@CL-lo4wd
Жыл бұрын
@@jennw6809 Thank you!
@carolynjensen1584
Жыл бұрын
Dear C L, you are exactly where you need to be, not ahead, not behind, just you in the present moment. Keep showing up in the "now" with each breath, each thought. Your evolving resilience will buoy you up! Blessings 😊
@CL-lo4wd
Жыл бұрын
@@carolynjensen1584 Thank you.
@Craigdna
Жыл бұрын
Thanks Les for your reasoning,pragmatism, and depth regarding narcissism. Outside of inflammation and oxidatiuive stress in the human body, the number one origin of emotional stress to the individual, is narcissism. Minimizing these stress factors is key to everyone's health. Since a narcissist does not get better in their lifetime, this means that there are NO troughs in the graph of narcissism. It is an ever increasing line that continues to increase with the population. We must keep that in mind at all times.
@SurvivingNarcissism
Жыл бұрын
Thanks, Craig!
@sweetmariez
Жыл бұрын
Interesting interpretation and a great reason to stay away from narcissists.
@fireupyourheartfortruth
Жыл бұрын
Yeah we can't confront them. That's been my biggest downfall. Confronting people. ❤️💔❤️
@paulkrenz9593
Жыл бұрын
Thank you Dr Carter for another excellent video . In my experience with Narcissists even if you attempt the pointless exercise of reasoning with them or discussing issues with them you can barely get a few words out before they start talking over you or yelling at you
@kristineanix9045
Жыл бұрын
They shame balm in order to isolate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@mindysmith3683
Жыл бұрын
Mine said don't tell on me many yrs ago ...
@heather3358
Жыл бұрын
Unfortunately here in the UK we appear to have many narcissists in our government. Better say this before they bring out a bill against comments like this.
@judyhogarth80
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for your helpful words. My narc has just lost his job. It’s the 6th in 4 years. He says he was unfairly sacked because he was accused of shouting at a child. Firstly who tells people he was sacked for shouting at children? Who has the nerve to do that? He says he didn’t but since he has shouted at 3 neighbours plus me no one believes him. He just feels he is always right. But he was sacked on the spot no messing around. That has to be bad. He was defensive and won’t listen to anyone else. He just thinks he is always right and entitled to privileges that others arnt. Well we know different. Marvellous session. Thanks Judy from uk
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