Quite frankly, I've learned to invest as much as they do. If they need to push & pull to feel comfortable and in control of their emotions and the situation of a relationship... I have finally decided to let them. I'm as busy and important as they are. I know that I haven't done a damn thing wrong. You are not going to obstruct my peace, joy, and security, because of the crap you've been through.
@marierevenew2812
2 жыл бұрын
“You are not going to obstruct my happiness...because of the crap you’ve been through.” Annette, that’s brilliant!
@rosemaryrogers1478
2 жыл бұрын
OK??? Easy.. brezzy..nice and easy.....hmm❤️
@gbadongodtime2574
2 жыл бұрын
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
@gbadongodtime2574
2 жыл бұрын
Whatzapp him now
@rosemaryrogers1478
2 жыл бұрын
@@gbadongodtime2574 and who was this great man?.
@atboptimistic-6853
2 жыл бұрын
I know that there's nothing wrong with me. I have done nothing wrong, besides be secure and mature. These men are eff'd-up. They're damaged. They're afraid. They need therapy. If they pull back. I pull back. When they want to talk. I talk.
@Amy-tk3wv
2 жыл бұрын
These F’d up men have F’d me up… there is no hope for them; they just deceive on every level just to get sex & validation…
@Amy-tk3wv
2 жыл бұрын
@@orianna9200 … Ty 🥰 & yes they will use us & the last one was married to boot… He went through a lot of trouble to deceive me & when I researched him, he hadn’t even been remarried for even a year… I feel sorry for his young pretty wife that he also deceived, but I’m not wasting any more of my energy to butt in & tell her, it may have been an open marriage or something I wouldn’t understand. 🤷🏻♀️ It’s realistic real world dating for me now… if I can’t vet them & see them & their life up close & personal it’s a No-Go
@Amy-tk3wv
2 жыл бұрын
@@orianna9200 It was non touch, so emotional cheating at the most. It’s not my place. I’m not the marriage law & it’s not illegal & I’ve wasted enough of my energy on him…I felt the deception in my gut/ intuition & she will too if she levels up…& usually the women are in denial & ego hurt & don’t want to believe it was their man to blame & want to hate the woman that was deceived… I don’t need that drama
@Amy-tk3wv
2 жыл бұрын
@@orianna9200 Nope, not an open marriage except to him…No remorse & loyalty only to himself
@Amy-tk3wv
2 жыл бұрын
@@orianna9200 yeah ton’s of the red pill nutters, all of them think they’re victims… it’s disgusting when you think women had hardly any rights until 101 years ago when they had to fight for the right to vote… my great gramma couldn’t vote & definitely lived under a patriarchal environment…Spanish
@dawnstonerock4253
2 жыл бұрын
I recently dated a man for 9 months. In that time he stopped talking to me three times for two weeks each time. I knew after the first time I couldn't live with that! Don't know why I put up with his nonsense for that many months. I was so relieved when it was done and I don't miss anything about him!! Ok I do miss going to the horseraces in the Spring. That was fun. I was good at picking the winners! At least with thoroughbreds!!
@Rigoletta53
2 жыл бұрын
You got rid of someone who may have a gambling addiction!
@hilaryfalkenberg9348
Жыл бұрын
I get it. Had similar situations. The off & on stuff is absolutely ridiculous. It's hurtful, even if they don't intend it. But when you see it as a pattern, we're letting them get away with it...over & I over until we finally say "I'm done too...!"
@rebeccacarraway480
Жыл бұрын
Come see the races in Hot Springs Arkansas!! The season starts in December and goes through May up to the Derby
@americafirst9144
Жыл бұрын
He obviously wasn't a winner or thoroughbred!
@beestreet9996
Жыл бұрын
The men of today are little b**** men never used to act like this they used to be social they used to be gentleman the men of today have no manners their pieces of s*** there honestly pieces of s*** and they're all like that now they need to be b** lap they need to sit at home by themselves they're a bunch of jerks
@vilindaveronica5703
2 жыл бұрын
If a man pulls away i accept their desire not to want to be in contact with me. Their wish is my command. BYE.
@deb2319
2 жыл бұрын
If you want a healthy real lifestyle-dont settle for bread crumbs or casual sex. Be Well-Live Well. Love your work J -Great Job
@suecole5543
2 жыл бұрын
If a guy pulls' away or ghost you then get on with life . you dont' how time to be on standby for someone who is not sure what he wants ladies.
@Ohkeh640
2 жыл бұрын
I agree too indeed but I also think this could help
@irisinthelightofthemoon9258
2 жыл бұрын
If that’s not going to change the outcome, why bother? Why be the one desperate enough to go seek rejection? If he’s done, he’s done. A text won’t make him change his mind, it will just give him an ego boost. Block him and get your own closure.
@claireoconor7986
2 жыл бұрын
Jonathan, I so admire your honesty, integrity, kindness and loving energy!! There is definitely a very special woman out there who would so value, appreciate and embrace these very special qualities that define who you are as a very special person. Despite the fact that I am not in dating mode right now, I listen to your videos for personal development growth, and I want you to know how valuable they have been for me in terms of inner personal growth and self-awareness. I thank you Jonathan, with deep appreciation. 💚💚💚
@robinemery
2 жыл бұрын
He found already found her ♥️♥️
@dlm2133
2 жыл бұрын
I think having the easy access to dating sites, chat rooms, etc. makes dating and relationships difficult. It's easy to dispose of one and go to the next one.
@chrissysfitnessjourney
2 жыл бұрын
Okay so this was my actions towards my guy pulling away. We’ve been dating for a little over two months now and maybe about a week and a half he pulled away for 3 days. During those 3 days I was going through it! Emotional and wondering if he just yo and left me alone….watching KZitem videos like this one and watching tarot readings trying to understand why. I didn’t want to message him I was too scared of what he’d say or not say. So out of nowhere he messages me and I just was short with him just to let him know I felt a way …I knew something was wrong but just didn’t know exactly what it was…so I asked him what was wrong and he told me it’s a lot going on with him. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it , surprisingly he says yes and he tells me issues going on with work. Knowing that he work all the time I started to feel bad that I didn’t check on him during the 3 days. Fast forward into just recently he pulled away for im going to say 2 days , I just let him be. I didn’t feel angry about it I just let him be. I figured that was still getting to him amongst other things he’s not saying . Now, I’m starting to see the type of man he is and what would possibly be needed from me . I’ve decided if he does it again that I’ll give him active space , maybe just send a short message checking on him just to let him know I’m here to talk if he needs to. He is pretty closed off emotionally too so that’s another thing. He isn’t too mature with his emotions. That part does bother me and eventually I am hoping he learn to open up to me emotionally …I won’t wait forever but I am trying to work with him and understand him.
@aminaadam3617
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Jonathan,this is exactly what I needed.He has been silent for days....I'm going to send him this and see if we are still on the same page.It is harder when it's a long distance relationship.
@valeriereid2524
2 жыл бұрын
I definitely agree with this information. I became emotionally involved with someone without asking the important questions sooner.It was quite painful when he pulled away. Looking back I think I wasn't ready to date when I thought I wss.My husband had been dead for almost two years..I needed more time than I realized to find me again. Wishing everyone success in finding love again, I believe it's worth it. 💕💕🙏
@tigergirl906
2 жыл бұрын
I’m in a new relationship in my late 40s, and this is the first time and first relationship where my behaviour is matching his lead in a strong, open, adult approach to communication in exactly this way. It feels different and is helping me heal some trauma wounds at same time. Thanks Jonathan, I like this approach of taking charge and matching his energy as a female and adult.
@paparidevi2904
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Jonathan, funny you say this. This guy was pulling away and I asked him if he was okay. He apologised profusely and invited me to dinner the next day only to tell me on the morning of the said dinner that he is not interested in me!!! And the height was when he said he was still happy to cook for me !!! I said thanks but no thanks. Someone who flips from yes to no in a span of 10 hrs is hardly worth wasting time on. What do you think?
@marciasloan534
2 жыл бұрын
Please know, the Universe did you a favor
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
The Universe blessed you...
@annconforti9294
2 жыл бұрын
He didn't want a relationship but he was happy to cook you a meal at His Home. He's fine having sex with you is What I hear! Isn't that Why men invite you to their home? For sex?
@midnightblue117
2 жыл бұрын
@@annconforti9294 That’s what I hear too!
@reneemcnulty6696
2 жыл бұрын
You’re free of him, which is a good thing. Now, don’t look back. He’s made it clear to you that friends-with-benefits is his maximum commitment level. Bye.
@margaretguaragna6504
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Jonathon. I am so glad I found you and your channel. I have been going through this for the longest time. I’m of sure why this keeps happening with these men. I mean I’m not perfect by no means but these guys and I’m 64 these guys have such baggage whether drugs alcohol cheating lies I mean what IS THIS? I am too old for this shit
@Saraa191
2 жыл бұрын
Everything you said is spot on! I was cheated on and betrayed in my last relationship and have decided to take a good time to get to know a person and see if we are compatible before i commit. That means deep questions in the dating process. Ive noticed a pattern and that is that when you ask deep question men ghost you and/or dont ask deep question back. Really weird if you ask me. I dont think they are used to women with standards and asking deep question before being physically. And i love your cup! 🤩
@tugzsurf
2 жыл бұрын
I do believe actions speak volumes. No response is a response. And it’s passive aggressive. Choose you first. Sometimes you just meet people to show the universe you value yourself.🤗
@martymasden2737
2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely, having a conversation is being an adult. ...... so let's find out what's going on ? That's just an a mature courteous thing we all should do . Take charge definitely 😉. All My Best To You Jonathan, Marty Kozee M
@awilda2790
2 жыл бұрын
This is a constant pattern I’ve been seeing from the guys I meet on dating sites. I meet a guy for dinner and days later he will text me a photo of his home and car. Why do they do this? I’m not dating your house or your car dudes!!!
@janereinhardt4715
2 жыл бұрын
The number 1 way that women give their power away is having sex before marriage. The dating period will be less than 2 years if you wait (if marriage is your goal). My friends, my cousin, etc- many are on 2nd marriages in mid-life & waited & were married in less than 2 years.
@judyperri9496
2 жыл бұрын
So if I follow your rules , I should never have sex because honestly I’m not looking for marriage again 😂😂😂🤪
@jac1057
2 жыл бұрын
Jonathan, I loved when you "What happens to a tree in hurricane wind without roots?", what a great verbal-visual. Also, just recently I can relate to the pulling back. I found myself doing the same in return. Not to draw him forward, yet it was to protect myself from disappointment. I know this to be a pattern that has been with him throughout his life. (I've known him for a number of years). I use to chase men. I'm not willing to do that anymore. I would much rather meet in the middle knowing there is a mutual interest on both of our parts: rather than have a one-sided relationship, no matter if it's with a partner or even with a dear friend.
@amyj.4992
2 жыл бұрын
I'm afraid that my neurodivergence, makes me unlovable and too different to be understood. I want to master how to accept myself on the spectrum perspective to be loved, and how to overcome feelings of inadequacy because of it. I know I'm not societal standard, normal. However, I don't want a perfect relationship, I want a long lasting and healthy one that I feel good showing up for. And I'm kind of afraid to open up to potential prospects, because of how judgemental and ignorant people can truly be.
@faraboverubies7
2 жыл бұрын
He gets right to it at 12:45 🤍
@Adennative
Жыл бұрын
Thank you
@saras.2173
Жыл бұрын
13:25
@Nicki17321
Жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@krissyp8867
2 жыл бұрын
what to say when a guy goes silent after a couple weeks of dating? anything at all or just move on?
@yankeerose9011
2 жыл бұрын
I feel like men in their 50's want women in their 30's. Perhaps I should be looking for a 70 year old...😂...I love your channel so very much Jon ❤ my condolences for the loss of your precious son Connor. 🙏 Have a beautiful Sunday. 🏖 From the Salty Myrtle Beach! 🥰
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
🙏
@monicawylie3985
2 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. Thank you for this video. I know of this practice of moving on with your life. So many of my lady friends don’t know how to handle when their man pulls away.
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
awe... thanks so much.
@jacquieowens7467
2 жыл бұрын
You’re awesome. This video felt like a friend telling me “look, this is what you need to because I want you to be happy.” 🥰
@Stylishh7
2 жыл бұрын
Love the mug! 🤩 What a great response, thank you for especially helping us ladies past 40’s! I’ve seen the dating scene just get so ugly yet so many people want and need real connection… they want something whole but don’t know how to qualify a person. I’m learning myself to ask the right questions and get past my fears to say and ask important questions. Plus looking at behavior responses or non responses to see if they are telling the truth. Thanks always for your encouragement and navigating this path!
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
My pleasure...
@lynn7016
2 жыл бұрын
He just wants to be friends. But, now wants me to meet his friends. Go to races, etc. Etc. Want a to get to know me better? Now ghosting me says he's Too busy. Won't call, or text. We only hugged. Planned on being together. Doing things together. I was happy till he was Quiet. Honesty from the get go? Yeah Right!
@belindahill2703
2 жыл бұрын
All the games men play today is ludacris I give what they give no more no less I thought I could be loyal, helpful, dress nice, etc that is not the case they will choose the worst of the worst. So now I am the player.
@dancingram79
2 жыл бұрын
Absolutly. 😊
@FortyFourAndGore
Жыл бұрын
I think also plenty of people SAY they want a healthy, evolved relationship, but not so many want to put in the work. Minimal effort and wanting a cookie (or THE cookie 🤣) or a trophy.
@womenwhodate7643
2 жыл бұрын
What a great stories you have 🙌 Every woman, no matter race or background, will and can benefit from your advice. Loved the video 🥰
@RoseMary-gl4ee
2 жыл бұрын
Wow! Congratulations on your platform! It’s so refreshing to watch a new age non-30-year old who speaks today’s language! I’m loving it, thank you
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Awe... thank you 😊
@vonettaadams8839
2 жыл бұрын
I appreciated your perspective and was hoping you'd address the issue of men who pull away before you've slept with them, just as the relationship is becoming more emotionally intimate.
@nono86753
Жыл бұрын
Same
@bagototexasgyal
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Jonathan. I loved what You had to say on this topic. Perfect words and very insightful! I remember dating this amazing guy. Five months in, 'He' slowly started to become distant. Typical I am busy, I have a lot going on...excuses etc. I did confront him and he did admit some issues he was working on. I told him if he was not ready for a relationship, I am a big girl, let's take a break so he could 'fix' his issues. He said no, he loves me, he wants to make it work. Distancing and no contact for weeks at a time started up again. I was done! I created my own closure and ended it.😉 please folks, invest and put in the work on yourselves first. Love yourself first before you commit and invest to love someone else...blessings!😘
@yvonnegrijalva1047
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this., I’m a widow and dating again... I m not in hurry and if having to be a date , ok...
@kimberlypeaches
2 жыл бұрын
I so agree. I've dated for about a year, after getting over my husband passing. It's funny how many guys disappear if you ask questions even on the dating sites! I spent a lot of time getting to omits one guy, friends, family, everything. 6 months in, he's a drinker. Hid it all those months.
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Sending you a big hug 🫂
@CD-ct6fc
2 жыл бұрын
You’ve been smart, sister. I’m proud of you. Protect yourself and keep doing what Jonathon says.
@lindawhitener3464
2 жыл бұрын
Kimberly. I am with you. I lost my husband 5 years ago, and now 16 months into my relationship, I have been doing so much of what Jonathon recommends. He is so right. Find out early what they are about, and intentions before getting too emotionally involved. Wishing you the best! 🤗
@kimgordon3695
2 жыл бұрын
Yup Charlie sheen is the test model for Rehab #angermgt
@AnnieBLawrence
2 жыл бұрын
Lots of love to you Kimberly! Keep doing your work and trust that there is a perfect partner out there and you deserve love in your life again. 💕🙏🏻
@brendahaldin7057
2 жыл бұрын
I let a guy into my life and we were intimate. He then had an ED issue. He blamed me and said he needed a younger woman. Told me he wanted my 40 year old daughter. I am 68. I don't think l will be with any man again for a long time.
@viviennev-thesassyone4248
2 жыл бұрын
Brenda,that's awful and I am sorry to hear this.His behaviour is disgusting! Don't let that put you off meeting a decent man who is worthy of all you have to offer.There are decent men out there who will take responsibility for their emotional and physical health and not blame others.He's done you a favour as it'll make way for you meeting someone decent in the future 😊
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing...
@GoOutside321
2 жыл бұрын
What a loser…….
@Linda-eo1tc
2 жыл бұрын
That guy is deluded...and very unkind. Bullet dodged.
@claireoconor7986
2 жыл бұрын
Brenda, you need to yell from the rooftop "Good Riddance!" YOU are too valuable a person to waste your precious time with a "creature" like that. There are quality man out there who will recognize your special qualities and value you. Please don't allow such a despicable person like that to stop you from finding a deserving quality man who is out there waiting for you!! You might want to consider a widower, someone who loved his wife with all his heart and wants it again with another very special woman. I talk from personal experience.💚🙏
@FollowMistressNurture
2 жыл бұрын
I very much appreciate the book recommendation eight dates. My new boyfriend and I are going through it together. I find it to be a primer on how to do healthy relationship. In particular the skills for having intimate conversations is very, very helpful. So many of us are raised in families with dysfunctional communication, and all we know is that we want to be different than what we grew up with, but very few of us have any idea of what different looks like. The Gottmans do an excellent job teaching the basics. The most important and helpful point for me, was the goal of conflict. Prior to the book I believed that the goal of conflict was to come to a solution that works for everybody. With the Gottmans' advice I now understand that the goal of conflict is actually to understand your partner at a deeper level than you did before the conflict. That one point has completely revolutionized my outlook and approach to conflict in a loving relationship.
@anavivienne4951
2 жыл бұрын
so what about the "bad-ass thing to do" when he pulls away but you only went out few times and you're not in a relationship nor oficially dating? 😅
@annstar2793
2 жыл бұрын
Hi- you didn’t address the early stage guys that pull away and your recommended response. Do you have another video for that ? Thank you so much !!!!
@zabeth1968
2 жыл бұрын
Stop the advertisement while giving advice. It’s annoying
@LisaGemini
2 жыл бұрын
I don't like when a guy won't tell me where he works. When he starts acting secretive, I know he has something important to hide. So I don't bother to invest in him. Stranger Danger, LOL
@elainechatham5188
2 жыл бұрын
Anyone can pull away from anyone. There are more fish in the sea.
@thusharividanagamachchi9779
2 жыл бұрын
Really love watching your videos Jonathan. You approach relationship advice from a sensible, mature, sincere and caring place. Really like your attitude and the advice you offer. Thank you and a big hug 🤗
@kimgordon3695
2 жыл бұрын
100 hours of RUNNING AWAY TRUTH: WE GOT MARRIED 2F
@DatingstoriesRea
2 жыл бұрын
Am I catching this live finally! After all this time :) Rea from London. Currently in Iran!!!
@lareinae563
2 жыл бұрын
I appreciate that you always tell your audience to empower themselves! One of the best books I’ve ever read….Dr. Joe Dispenza- really helped me get out of victim thinking and to kick start a meditation practice. Thank you for your content.
@michhall0103
Жыл бұрын
men Need to Grow TF up and learn how to Communicate!! If Your having issues Say So!!Simple!!
@jennifertelfer4787
2 жыл бұрын
I told my man this morning that I did not climax because he did not try hard enough.
@jennifertelfer4787
2 жыл бұрын
He is young so probably not.
@rdzmarin5011
2 жыл бұрын
I feel I am listening to myself talk to myself, lol Your message resonates so much with me. You have no idea..lol Thank you.
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
TY 🙏
@debbiesianturi2505
2 жыл бұрын
I agree that I meet with the stranger. I dont know his family and I dont know his friends. To know him in better way, then I must ask with deeper questions. When he goes silent, we do : Be proactive
@tonizack931
Жыл бұрын
I appreciate all of your videos on here. They are very informative. There are also men out here that "talk" to other women online. That makes them pull away from you too. (In my case) I just need to come to terms with it all. I feel a void right now, and hollow. But in time I'll get back on level ground & think clearly again. We have so much in common & we laughed at everything, from movies to fishing together. We did have a bunch of different activities that we did together as well.. But I know when I'm beating a dead horse so to speak. I just have to find myself again. At least I'll be saving wear & tear on my vehicle too. No more trips up to Michigan for me. (579 miles one way) 😏🙄😔💔 I feel stupid for traveling up there as much as I did. I lost a year & a half before it all came crashing down. Although he of course blames me for having an "attitude" & says when I'm happy again we'll resume back to normal. Umm idk about that. And he still insists that I'm his best friend. 🙄🥺
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
@roseplummer391
2 жыл бұрын
Always great information and book recommendations. I’ve just finished What the Heck is Self Love Anyway. I plan on reading it again. I also bought 8 dates. I can’t wait to find a nice emotionally available man to read this book with.😊
@margaretguaragna6504
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Jonathon. I am so glad I found you and your channel. I have been going through this for the longest time. I’m of sure why this keeps happening with these men. I mean I’m not perfect by no means but these guys and I’m 64 these guys have such baggage whether drugs alcohol cheating lies I mean what IS THIS? I am too old for this shit
@meme-qo6jz
Жыл бұрын
Jonathan.. This is awesome advice! Thank you. I have a question... When you were about to explain how to respond to this, first you said there is a difference between if the relationship is in the early dating stages vs deeper involvement. You said you would explain what to do with the early stages at the end of the video. Did I miss it? What should we do if a guy pulls away or is unsure after like 3 dates?
@JonathonAslay
Жыл бұрын
Scroll through my videos, I've addressed this many of times...
@nancystevens5136
2 жыл бұрын
Your absolutely right Jonathan, I know now he doesn't want a commitment relationship and yes he did reach out once he ghost me for a couple days we talk and I understand he still in turmoil with his last relationship and why it ended the way it did, but I can't help him on that part, he will have to work that part his self and he always talking about his marriage 23 years ago and the relationship he had through the 23 years ,now he turning 60 he wants no more relationships of being commitment too!
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing...
@nancystevens5136
2 жыл бұрын
@@JonathonAslay very welcome
@deborahniehuus8253
2 жыл бұрын
You keep repeating this "feminine energy" thing. Just FYI, I had never heard of such advice re: relationships, ... until you. 🤔
@veronicavolkow7662
Жыл бұрын
The center of you life must be your higher power, if he puts someone aside, that is for your good.
@nanspoelstra789
Жыл бұрын
What to do if you had 2 dates of a day and a half each (ling distance dating,) texting 2 months. Many calls. He is very busy. However he would have made conta t by now. Maybe he found someone else, maybe no longer too interested.....I dont know. What do you suggest?
@wendyb7008
2 жыл бұрын
I like your fun way of explaining things and with enthusiasm. So sorry for the great loss of your son. Know that he is always with you. 💙🙏💙
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much!
@CatherineInColorado
2 жыл бұрын
I appreciate your encouragement Jonathon for us to be in charge of our relationship destiny. By the way, your badass arms look great in that Salty shirt! Hope you keep wearing it. ❤😉❤
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
I appreciate that!
@beestreet9996
Жыл бұрын
We should not be listening to videos on how to be a badass when guys pull away we shouldn't be messing with men that pull away and they all do this s*** to us today this never used to happen the men of today think they can act any old kind of way when they pull away just let him go
@celiaescalante
2 жыл бұрын
Jonathon, the volume needs to be raised. Have a great weekend! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Working on it!
@jen4yahwehsal176
2 жыл бұрын
Well he said he wasn't ready for a relationship that fast those 2 key words ..that fast hmmm and I told him I understood I'm just trying to get to know you as a friend as well.. never expected a return ever again but then he Text to me the next day asking how I was doing if I was OK I feel like he felt bad I think hes just under a lot of stress at the same time I'm not stopping myself from seeing other men He told me from the beginning he travels a lot and works a lot and I understand However when we do meet again in person there's going to have to be a conversation about this. I used all of your savings and tactics Honestly I'm tired of texting him this has to be a face-to-face conversation
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing...
@wandayarbrough
2 жыл бұрын
You are right about the sex thing. That's all my ex talked-about and wanted. But when we met the first time it was no chemistry at all before he held my hand. The first thing he said was I only came to see your hot body. I should have left then. Being new to this though. I made it through and 2 days later I broke up with him. I just couldn't do it. I found out that I need more time for myself. I can take care of myself. I don't need or want a man for that. I want companionship. But not either of us being under one another every minute. Phone or otherwise. Did I do the right thing for me. Yes. Regrets no. It hurt him some. But oh well. Not that much. He was already asking women to pm him. Oh yes you really loved me. Not. 3 weeks. No you don't know me. You agree Jonathan. I'm trying to be friends with him again. Not anything more. There's no Natura chemistry though.
@viviennev-thesassyone4248
2 жыл бұрын
Jon- have a think again about writing your dating memoirs.I think it'd be another best seller for you- I can see it reading like a racy Jackie Collins 'bonk buster'novel with you as the leading man.You'd be circumspect I'm sure😉We could learn all the dating pit falls whilst having a laugh along the way? 🤣🤣🤣
@marciasloan534
2 жыл бұрын
THREE DATE RULE : Get real. You can’t get a blood test screening for STDs in that length of time.
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
My guess is... less than 2% of the dating population gets an STD test before sleeping together
@seelois
2 жыл бұрын
A guy I met online told me he wanted to see me seriously. He told me he wanted to be monogamous. I After all our talks to see if we are a possible match I told him to take STD tests! He did! Lol we are still dating, Saturday is our day we chat daily and I’m not rushing it. Men get excited at first then cold feet. It’s now over 4 months and we started reading 8 Dates. Lol he’s loves it. We have been physical but haven’t gone all the way. We are still learning each other and he said he likes me a lot but isn’t in love. Lol I said neither am I but we are continuing our fun dates and we shall see. I don’t want sex to cloud my mind. I know myself, after sex I will be emotionally attached. He’s very affectionate and for now it’s enough.
@marciasloan534
2 жыл бұрын
@@JonathonAslay , I like to relate my health to money. The same person who would never ask to borrow money will roll the dice on Communicating dread disease. Ultimately leaving ourselves and our Families dealing with the aftermath
@lauriesimonds9229
2 жыл бұрын
RN here - plenty of STD transmission still happening in midlife folks. And anybody that hesitates at the idea of getting tested for STD's is secretly worried because they know they've put themselves at risk 😕
@pamelastark4081
2 жыл бұрын
Lol
@ireidu
2 жыл бұрын
Jonathan I find it difficult to even get to a place where I get to meet someone in the first place... Matching with a lot of people who seem interested even being the one to ask if they want my phone number to let them know I'm open/ receptive progressing to a call or first meeting. If we even get to that place where they call it just seems to peter out right away and not progress to any kind of meaningful beginnings... It's super frustrating and I don't know how to get off of this neverending merry-go-round...
@reynaGG8
2 жыл бұрын
I feel the same way. There are a lot who seem so interesting. I message them or they reach out. They want my number asap. There’s a nice convo and laughs and promise to talk again tomorrow etc. . Then,…. they dont text, call and won’t reply to texts. It does seem like a hamster wheel or merry go round !
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
I totally understand...
@trudyramgren8817
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!! Even though our relationship is over, you really confirmed for me that he wasn't the right guy. He was more of a nightmare!. Lol.
@TeaRose9
2 жыл бұрын
EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT !! Thank you for another very well said video. You have the most keen insight I have ever seen.
@michelekurlan2580
2 жыл бұрын
In the words of psychologist Tracy Cabot to a woman who called into a talk show about such a problem: "if this guy's ambivalence is not enough to make you walk,then you are getting what you deserve" I am sure this applies to men getting the lukewarm treatment too. It is only when one sees and owns their part that this can make gut-level sense.
@susanarsoniadou
Жыл бұрын
We almost never had Harry Potter.Publishers kept rejecting JK Rowling.What this shows is that the publishers were idiots who did not know quality. Rejection shows the rejecter is more likely than not idiotic. ...They have sex because it is a convenient way to avoid emotional connection.A good sign that someone is not right is lack of communication.
@JonathonAslay
Жыл бұрын
Exactly
@shellybahadur5659
2 жыл бұрын
I just read that chapter. Reading your book felt like I was having a conversation and a cup of coffee in my living room with you.
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
WOW! Thank you.
@barbaramascaro6899
Жыл бұрын
I had a badass reaction, I texted him, "this is bullshit"!...and blocked him....😂
@sherriflemming3218
9 ай бұрын
👍
@deborahniehuus8253
2 жыл бұрын
Can barely hear you ... Volume all the way up here
@atboptimistic-6853
2 жыл бұрын
I'm not what you've been through. Call me when you feel like being a grown-up for the day; the weekend; or however long... so we can have a nice time. When you start feeling fearful... talk to you later until you pull it together again.
@patricialovelace9689
2 жыл бұрын
Always love your talks, Jonathon!❤️
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
awe... thank you.
@tamelashafer8852
2 жыл бұрын
Radical Honesty is Refreshing to me… even if it isn’t easy to hear… I think difficult conversations are paramount to true connection & trust
@karenwilson2354
2 жыл бұрын
He told me I was too intense .so how the hell can i respond tp that except to run away . because if I so much as text him it will look like im desparate .
@jordonnalobese5609
Жыл бұрын
If women wore chastity belts, none of this garbage would happen.
@JonathonAslay
Жыл бұрын
Exactly
@LisaGemini
2 жыл бұрын
Aw, you are the only dating coach I watch every video of. You are realistic, not living in a Fantasyland.
@lukewalker79
Жыл бұрын
First thing a woman should do is look at their actions to see what they did or what they are currently doing that might be pushing the guy away. So many women have a victim mentality, which Johnathan indirectly promotes in this video and others, which keeps those women from seeing the results of their own actions and have no accountability.
@JonathonAslay
Жыл бұрын
How did this video suggest victim mentality?
@reynacanillo1736
2 жыл бұрын
you look gorgeous 😍 in white shirt
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much 😀
@staciag1474
Жыл бұрын
Your volume is low on this video
@wendywoodland8598
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you ! I've been struggling with How to address this. I'm hoping I get enough courage to send that text message today! Thanks Jonathan
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome
@angelwings6193
Жыл бұрын
Ha nowadays dating is a JOKE. You dont have what could be called a real date. Also I was told " oh you date the old fashioned way" hahaha still cracks me up, and I responded by saying, that its important to get to know one another in order to move forward and get to something Real.... thats when I knew he wasnt going to invest and it ended there, nice palship, cos we hadnt formed a friendship even so it wasnt even that, so how could it become anything more? It could not. simple, easy, easy to bring closure,,,,,, I did and do like him, he was and is a super guy, he has many qualities but we were not in the same space at the same time. the end, lol easy " break" not break up cos we were never "together" it just never got off the ground, simple and easy. and in that sense yes Im "old fashioned" in the sense that I want to know if this person is sincere, if they lie, if theyre superficial, responsible, caring, caring of me, not just animals and the planet, hehehe in other words someone "good" for me,, much love to all, xo
@emilykrahn3185
2 жыл бұрын
I'm going through this right now with someone and I'm too hurt to even talk to them about it, I have to get over my hurt and then I can talk...
@roseannlargana95
2 жыл бұрын
You will be okay ,give it some time
@Iammargenificent
Жыл бұрын
I followed your advice, but my message to my SP is not letting him explain because I dont want to hear some BS. Though he has not respond but he kept on liking my post haha. I think he would not last a day without visiting my social media.
@mlynns4132
2 жыл бұрын
Just to clarify for my own understanding. When you say a guy pulls away, your meaning no communication at all correct?
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Yes, for the most part; however, it might also be when he pulls away emotionally.
@tiffanytaylor5295
2 жыл бұрын
He ghosted after 2yrs and I said 👋
@debbie-n7z
2 жыл бұрын
Love this one! Not surprising though because all your videos are Badass;) I am so empowered by the way you lay all of this out. All of the books are wonderful especially yours! What the heck is …Self Love Anyway? Thank you 😊
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
WOW! Thank you
@jennilang2464
2 жыл бұрын
Lmaoooo!!! Your "bad ass" still was great!!!🤣🤣🤣👍👍👍 I can't see the whole t-shirt, but I think I like it, because of the little Morton's Salt girl!!!😍😍😍 I hadn't thought about her for a while!!!👍👍👍 I might sound like a dope, but it won't be the first (or last) time w that!!!😁 My thoughts on anyone pulling back? If their pulling back was intentional, I think that I'd let them pull back. All the way back, and away, lol. I'm JLO'S AGE though, so I really don't have the time, or head and heartspace for those shenanigans. If they don't "wanna know", and pull away because they don't want me in their life...ok. Rejection is God's protection (I stole that from Jonathan!!!), so they may move on wout the pleasure of the jenni brain. And that's ok!!! If we were all meant for everyone,what a nasty orgy that would be.
@42Laj
2 жыл бұрын
I finally went out with someone who has been after me for 2 years (we worked at the same company, I'm no longer there). We had lunch last Sunday (the 16th). The date was great. His birthday was the following day (January 17th). I sent him a text saying happy birthday. He did not respond, and I have not heard from him at all! I have not reached out again. What could have happened? Need your advice.
@rosemaryrogers1478
2 жыл бұрын
What could have happened? You dodged a bullet
@42Laj
2 жыл бұрын
@@rosemaryrogers1478 -Thank you. Appreciate your response. I sure did dodge a bullet. I always felt something about him was not to be trusted. From now on I will trust my intuition 100 percent! I've blocked his number.
@kimgordon3695
2 жыл бұрын
The secret life of your EX
@carecafetips
Жыл бұрын
Agreed
@jjustino1
2 жыл бұрын
God sent me to you. My boyfriend is pushing me away because his son passed away in Sept. and I seem not to know what to do to comfort and support him. He keeps saying “ you just don’t understand me” I don’t know what to do. Do you have private sessions? You are the ONLY guide that mention they lost his son so I can finally relate with someone. Please help
@viviennev-thesassyone4248
2 жыл бұрын
Very informative video Jon - thank you., This is one that I am definitely saving.I think it's an emotionally mature conversation to have if he pulls aways and it lets the other person know where they stand rather than ruminating which a lot of us ladies do when we don't hear anything.It puts us in control.I enjoy your Sunday morning videos with your mellifluous voice- wonderful intonation and trying hard not to swear 🤣🤣.The seagulls squawking in the background, also adds to the ambience.You're such a kind person Jon and so caring and you do seem like that big brother.😇
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Awe... thank you so much 💓
@planetwalker798
2 жыл бұрын
yes on ruminating, unfortunately no matter what tactics I use it comes around. uggh!
@dancingram79
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Johnathan! Ive been watching your vídeos now for a while. I am not even close to start dating, but I do realize that understanding the dating world better before I jump in to the ocean, would be benefitial. I find your vídeos to be very mature, informacional and most of all, empowering. I am so very greatful for the effort and the honesty you put in all of your vídeos. Its tremendously helpful, especially for people who might not be able to afford more personal dating coaching. So much of what you say resonantes so well. This vídeo just made realize... If I cant trust a stranger with muy personal información, bank account access and home key. Why would I think its ok to allow full access to my body? All the other stuff is replacable, but not my heart or my body (thus there might be dangers as a woman to be physically hurt). It just just made so much sense. Thank you for that. 😊
@veronicasmith1460
2 жыл бұрын
If I need it, I am gonna use your script. I do not seem to communicate well with men. Or maybe I have not found the rights men!
@bitseybacque
2 жыл бұрын
This is great information, I'll be sure to check out these books as well,, thank you!
@melissadeloach8503
2 жыл бұрын
Finally, advice that makes sense! ❤
@JonathonAslay
2 жыл бұрын
Happy to hear...
@sandraknapska5138
Жыл бұрын
It's so funny when you say "nine times out of ten... and by the way I'm makeing up these numbers' xD I like listening to you :)
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