not calling the school godwarts was a huge mistake
@eloryosnak4100
3 жыл бұрын
WHY DOES THIS HAVE SO FEW UPVOTES
@t0adfa1ry
3 жыл бұрын
@@eloryosnak4100 likes* This isn't reddit
@Kian.murphy007
3 жыл бұрын
Not calling the school Satan's gates was a big mistake ALL HALE SATAN
@AlienBusDriver1
3 жыл бұрын
@@Kian.murphy007 FUCK YEAH HAIL SATAN!!!!!!
@OwlGypsy
3 жыл бұрын
Nooo because that implies God has warts and that would be sacrilege
@anaribeiro6615
4 жыл бұрын
It's Harry Potter, but instead of British witches they are American Christian cowboys with creepy smiles
@artemisfowldragon
4 жыл бұрын
guess which aesthetic I prefer
@alicedarhk9790
4 жыл бұрын
American Horror Story: the Christianing
@artemisfowldragon
4 жыл бұрын
@Weird Trixibelle yeah I know, I've seen the post. but come on. tell me the brits don't have *a e s t h e t I c* when they get all magical and shit
@ELBERTOO
4 жыл бұрын
alpha reaperion *we are the aesthetics of M A G I C*
@artemisfowldragon
4 жыл бұрын
@@ELBERTOO precisely
@morgoth_bauglir
4 жыл бұрын
Αch yes, Voldemort: The world's most famous reddit atheist
@puppetperson7612
4 жыл бұрын
I legit cant wait for the final showdown
@morgoth_bauglir
4 жыл бұрын
@@katinkaherbal8236 bold of you to assume Voldemort was ever straight
@wesday3652
4 жыл бұрын
@@katinkaherbal8236 JK Rowling rewrites a new character as gay every few weeks/months
@ami876
4 жыл бұрын
@@morgoth_bauglir Clearly he and Quirrel were a thing
@barbararab6390
4 жыл бұрын
How can you forget his iconic fedora
@ParadoxFree
3 жыл бұрын
The three pillars of atheism: Science, socialism, and birthdays.
@r0b0b0t8
Жыл бұрын
and the sub-pillar under science; evolution
@LevitheEldritchAbomination
Жыл бұрын
oh god BIRTHDAYS!
@towelgirl21
Жыл бұрын
As a Christian, I've never heard anything bad about birthdays. I'd be a way less-uptight Gryffindor Hat and the birthday thing came out of nowhere for me.
@UwUImShio
Жыл бұрын
@@towelgirl21 there are some christians/jehovah's witnesses that don't celebrate birthdays if I remember correctly
@towelgirl21
Жыл бұрын
@@UwUImShio I know Jehovah's Witnesses don't, but the author def wasn't talking about them here.
@BirdPeopleArentReal
4 жыл бұрын
"Ronald cries into his oatmeal" Why does this seem completely out of character, yet something Ron would _definitely do_
@kailavanderwielen3588
4 жыл бұрын
Ron as a child, distraught over a prank Frank and George played on him. he's about five years old and thinks his brothers hate him. Mrs. Weasley is bustling around the kitchen, reassuring him his brothers absolutely love him. Mr. Wesley comes in late and gets a stern lecture from his wife, then gets super awkward around the crying Ron. He pulls out a Muggle toy: a remote control car and cheers Ron up with it, showing him how to work the controls. This Muggle toy runs on magic, not batteries. Ron is happy and plays with it for approximately .5 seconds before Fred and George accidentally break it. Mrs. Weasley, despite her better judgment, repairs it with her wand in secret, making Ron promise not to tell anyone she's fixed it. This later sets the scene for Ron to drive the flying car with Fred and George in it. :)
@BlueGangsta1958
4 жыл бұрын
Ron eating oatmeal doesn't sound right. Considering English breakfast, I'd expect him to cry in his bacon.
@iamscaredofbread4357
4 жыл бұрын
@@BlueGangsta1958 tbf I knew few English people who have a full English breakfast on the regular, I feel like it reads wrong because we call it porriage and that sounds infinatley more British than oatmeal and therefore more Ron.
@crowskinned
4 жыл бұрын
a Ron Weasley who's older than 11 would probably have been the one who talked himself to tears. Also, he'd continue eating.
@emiliew5553
4 жыл бұрын
i think it's because she said 'ronald' and the person saying 'ronald' wasn't McGonigall
@Dani_yells24
4 жыл бұрын
I like how they don’t have British accents anymore, if you’re Christian you have to have a southern accent. It’s a rule apparently
@rosiedosies
4 жыл бұрын
As a former Christian who lived near the south I can 100% confirm
@danielleisaacs6237
4 жыл бұрын
I like how theres a congress in britain
@Mikanojo
4 жыл бұрын
Until coming to America i did not know this was a "thing" but even though i am surrounded by people in the Mountain Northwest they STILL insist on preaching with a Southern accent ( o_0 )! So... this Nihonjin Christian from the North island of Hokkaido is working on that. Y'all.
@idkman9696
4 жыл бұрын
As a current Christian I can confirm
@0XBlondie96X0
4 жыл бұрын
I literally haven't ever heard of that omg
@clowntown1017
4 жыл бұрын
*"Harry Potter and The Body Of Christ."*
@kingofallfrogs
4 жыл бұрын
Yes.
@willowashe
4 жыл бұрын
Harry Potter and the Half-Jewish Pope
@Gator_Queen8188
4 жыл бұрын
"Harry Potter and the holy corpse"
@arden.in.the.garden
4 жыл бұрын
Harry Potter and the Holy Spirit
@pidgeoncrossing963
4 жыл бұрын
your profile picture... i have never came so hard
@onyxth3ripper
Жыл бұрын
Once a girl in my class shared her 500 page fan fiction (hand written) with me. I'll use 4 words to describe it all: Hagrid was canonicly Jesus. Edit: I found out that the girl who did this passed away recently, so all of the new replies if there will be any, please be respectful. She was pretty weird but was nice and had a good, kind heart.
@aaroncabatingan5238
Жыл бұрын
That sounds awesome lol
@rat_queen7431
Жыл бұрын
Holy fucking shit Hagrid second coming REAL?
@carolinamoralesgarcia4367
Жыл бұрын
Oooh i want to read it
@somegoodsoup7008
Жыл бұрын
THIS GIRL WAS AHEAD OF HER TIME
@CalamitasBrimstoneWitch
Жыл бұрын
I WOULD READ THAT. Hagrid as Jesus is so funny and yet makes so much sense based on his personality. I'm not even christian lol-
@trashstorage1468
3 жыл бұрын
I love how upon hearing that Christianity exists, Harry turns into a human bible.
@1_atlas_7
3 жыл бұрын
He is the chosen one
@elechronic
3 жыл бұрын
@@1_atlas_7 Harry Potter is now Jesus
@raffaelefrau9789
2 жыл бұрын
@@elechronic YES
@bumblebeeproductions1673
Жыл бұрын
@@elechronic he was the second coming of Christ all along
@dazzlingdexter5060
Жыл бұрын
LMBO 😂
@andrawr7911
4 жыл бұрын
I am a Christian and this is one of the stupidest things I have ever seen. The only good thing from this is “Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal”
@graceyl.195
4 жыл бұрын
Same and that part broke me
@terra_the_nightingale135
4 жыл бұрын
At least Aunt Petunia celebrated Harry’s birthday
@NationalSecurityAgencyUS
4 жыл бұрын
"Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal.", is the 2020 of sentences.
@dretadel
4 жыл бұрын
That, and "Harry followed Ronald with the obedience of one who does not have many friends in a new situation." Like, if that's not relatable I don't know what is.
@buizeltube6624
3 жыл бұрын
same haha
@taylamuller1811
4 жыл бұрын
“Always be respectful to a woman because that is another man’s future wife” Yeah its not like woman are people or anything. They only deserve respect because a man is going to marry them one day? Yikes.
@savannahclark8303
4 жыл бұрын
its pretty much like saying "dont hit a woman, cuz thats gonna be a mans property someday!" gross
@ToastyJunebugs
4 жыл бұрын
My friend's youth group split the guys and girls into groups for the purity talk. The girls were given the "You are a used napkin" speech, while the boys were told "don't take from the virgin pool bc it's not fair to other men".
@anamf247
4 жыл бұрын
@@ToastyJunebugs sure it's an appalling sentiment but "don't take from the virgin pool" is HILARIOUS. might fuck around and swipe a girl from the virgin pool.
@gremlinlad3671
4 жыл бұрын
Dianna Stroud do they... do they not know about cloth napkins? have they never heard of washing a cloth napkin? the analogy is disgusting, but do they really not know about cloth napkins?
@APoliticalConfusionAndMess
4 жыл бұрын
Shut the fuck up, you SJW feminist.
@ignoremeplease
Жыл бұрын
Original Harry would love this Petunia and Vernon A sweet successful business woman and a stay-at-home dad that likes baking brownies? That sounds like Harry's dream
@eternal_m1dnight140
Жыл бұрын
He would have less trauma if that was so
@leeledyke
10 ай бұрын
I think this Vernon also works? (5:26) But a brownie baking working guardian is still way way better than an abusive and willfully negligent guardian
@ignoremeplease
10 ай бұрын
@@leeledyke yeah didn't notice that Still faaaaaaaaaaaar better than what og Harry got
@leeledyke
10 ай бұрын
@@ignoremeplease 100%. Way better. Instead of locking him alone in a cupboard, they make sure there's a sitter caring for him while they're gone, and seem to pay attention to him when they are home
@ignoremeplease
10 ай бұрын
@@leeledyke 🙌
@AMScarlet
3 жыл бұрын
This fanfic is obviously rubbish. Draco Malfoy would never be caught dead in khakis.
@cuttlefishhh
3 жыл бұрын
his father will hear about this
@dracomalfoy9108
3 жыл бұрын
Agreed...
@driveasandwich6734
3 жыл бұрын
What a weird instance of Draco In Leather Pants
@user-zv8kl1kd8u
3 жыл бұрын
imagine Draco was colourblind and ended up wearing red one day :))
@sophyvanegas5639
3 жыл бұрын
I dead
@whyjustwhy9423
4 жыл бұрын
“You’re a Christian Harry” I don’t think that’s how conversion works.
@gardenofbone
4 жыл бұрын
CONVERSION THERAPY!!!
@sylvies5078
4 жыл бұрын
@@gardenofbone DID SOMEBODY SAY SUMMER CAMP WITH PENCE?!
@dumbpablo5755
4 жыл бұрын
so... if this fanfic followed the story a lil bit more... harry would be destined to save christianity?
@justanotheridiot6188
4 жыл бұрын
That’s like a stranger coming up to me and saying “You’re straight Idiot” and me immediately go from being bi to 100% straight
@awesomegaymer5786
4 жыл бұрын
@@justanotheridiot6188 that's actually how bi people are made, someone walks up to them and says "you're straight" but then someone else walks up and says "you're gay" and then they're both, happened to me in 1994
@julecaesara482
3 жыл бұрын
"He wore dark leather shoes on both feet." How many people has this woman encountered who wear different shoes on each feet?
@shroom_4856
3 жыл бұрын
Oh, oh yeah
@michaelturnage3395
3 жыл бұрын
If she's a Pentecostal-probably almost everyone in her looney bin of a Church wore mismatched clothing. Top that with the freakish giggling and jittering.
@WarmBreadBearBuddy
3 жыл бұрын
She has had one two many “wacky Wensdays”
@Subpar1224
3 жыл бұрын
I know right, the urge to have at least two adjectives to describe the leather shoes caused her to add unnecessary detail I thought they were wearing a slipper and a leather shoe IMO
@izzytwizzy6255
3 жыл бұрын
Luna Lovegood
@PureSniperWolf
2 жыл бұрын
Can we take a moment to appreciate that Christian Mama Author is obviously thirsty for Mr. Snape?
@hdbordercollie
Жыл бұрын
definitely not good for their family
@astortawa804
Жыл бұрын
Undercover member of the Snapewives cult /j
@theoddishmushroom1534
Жыл бұрын
It’s giving snapewife energy
@hellspawnstudios
Жыл бұрын
I remember reading this on my own (finally got past chapter 2 lol) and thinking, 'okay as long as they didn't butcher my man Snape it's fine', reaching his introduction, and going, 'THAT'S NOT SNAPE THAT'S NOT SNAPE THAT'S NOT SNAPE THAT'S NOT-'
@CodyCLI
Жыл бұрын
You're saying she wants to see the solid snape? Sorry I'll leave.
@urgae9125
4 жыл бұрын
“Parenting should be about the children, not the parents. That’s why it’s called parenting.” Shouldn’t it be Childrening? Edit: lmfao I forgot I even commented on this. How did this get so many likes?
@grayfox6930
4 жыл бұрын
Saying what i was thinking
@cindyscrawly1672
4 жыл бұрын
I don't know why this made laugh that much
@SallySueSaywhatagain
4 жыл бұрын
Right? I think our author flubbed there...
@ihavelemonade5640
4 жыл бұрын
It sounds so wrong, idk why but i never want to read od hear it again
@KanraLovesHumans
4 жыл бұрын
We all must children our kids right 🤣
@nqrtzy8765
4 жыл бұрын
“Every young woman is another man’s future wife” The LGBT community: *ceases to exist*
@ThreeNinjaDucks
4 жыл бұрын
Be gone gays
@shiny9690
4 жыл бұрын
We don't feel so good...
@totallynotpoisonedsoup8680
4 жыл бұрын
* turns to dust *
@joedean4698
4 жыл бұрын
But I didn't say anything about another man's husband... Checkmate
@jayanderson147
4 жыл бұрын
and also, a woman only has value cause she belongs to a man, apparently
@SilveredMoth
4 жыл бұрын
"Every women is another man's future wife" Stares into the camera with gay despair
@idkdude1118
4 жыл бұрын
*Aromantic despair*
@rainmer471
4 жыл бұрын
@@idkdude1118 saaame tbh
@recklessroges
4 жыл бұрын
11:36 #giffable
@wishtopublish
4 жыл бұрын
"Remember kids: the only reason to respect women is because she is the future property of a man!"
@xmlthegreat
4 жыл бұрын
@@wishtopublish "Hippity hoppity, this woman is now my property!" -Jesus Christ, I think.
@Void_Daddy
3 жыл бұрын
I love it that the author tried so hard to replace the magic with prayer, they practically just ended up describing how Clerics work in D&D. Ah yes, it all makes sense now, Dumbledore is a level 20 Peace Cleric and used Heroes' Feast to summon the food. Hogwarts is just a Cleric school.
@elizabethsmith7224
2 жыл бұрын
A Harry Potter inspired DND campaign would be awesome tho.
@CrowOfRoses
Жыл бұрын
i am sO ON IT
@oakenshadow6763
Жыл бұрын
This comment. I love this comment.
@BennettRDavis
Жыл бұрын
ItzzBayleyy tell me when you get it I need a campaign idea cause I think I’m dming next.
@aeroblu2002
Жыл бұрын
I mean, prayer and miracles sound EXACTLY like magic, soooo...
@maybemckenna
4 жыл бұрын
HE HAS _SCIENCE_ AND _SOCIALISM_ AND _BIRTHDAYS_
@eliasapollo4131
4 жыл бұрын
Honestly that sounds wonderful
@zackcolosky9908
4 жыл бұрын
now that's my kinda night
@eliasapollo4131
4 жыл бұрын
Seize the means of birthday presents comrades 😤
@monomakesmecrystill1252
4 жыл бұрын
now that's some good shit tbh
@barbararab6390
4 жыл бұрын
*the horror*
@VoxVocisCruora
4 жыл бұрын
Me, writing fanfic before: Man, this is crap. I'm the worst writer ever! My story sucks so bad! Me: *Watches this video* Me, writing fanfic now: I am the next Stephen King. Everything I pen is a literary masterpiece.
@MahouShoujo-Studios
3 жыл бұрын
Mooood 🤣
@chaos_opossum
3 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@Lana-ne8bd
3 жыл бұрын
Bruh fr-
@arthur-ux4rx
3 жыл бұрын
SAMEEEE
@brokendays
3 жыл бұрын
Mood
@oldestdreamja
Жыл бұрын
me, a fanfiction writer: "everything I write is an absolute failure" *sees the thumbnail* me: "nevermind, everything I write is a beautiful literary masterpiece that can move anybody to tears.
@thejuiceking2219
Жыл бұрын
this fic will likely be more famous than any of yours ever will
@oldestdreamja
Жыл бұрын
@@thejuiceking2219 ouch, one fic of mine already reached 2500 hits on AO3. why be so damn rude? and just so you know, I competed in several contests already.
@thejuiceking2219
Жыл бұрын
@@oldestdreamja oh, that's impressive...probably i don't do fanfic stuff
@oldestdreamja
Жыл бұрын
@@thejuiceking2219 not fanfiction contests, if that's you think. like actual, school related poetry and literary contests.
@BudgieCute
Жыл бұрын
someone else posted a really similar comment 2 years ago uhh
@f1shb0n39
4 жыл бұрын
Harry: Hugs a girl before marriage hagrid: yOU'rE a SiNNeR HaRrY
@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888
3 жыл бұрын
F1shb0n3 LMBO
@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888
3 жыл бұрын
F1shb0n3 #WaitingTillMarriageSquad
@boomblor
3 жыл бұрын
@@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888 yeah im still waiting to breath, gotta wait till marriage! #WaitingTillMarriageSquad
@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888
3 жыл бұрын
Blood Bath and Beyond LOLLLL I don't have hair yet! #WaitingTillMarriage
@VioletsOnMars
3 жыл бұрын
Hilarious! 🤣
@seretonindealer9440
4 жыл бұрын
Harry Potter turned me into an atheistic homosexual, so I can see why this mother was concerned 😌
@jessicabraud3307
4 жыл бұрын
Bro Hermione was my first gay crush. A girl who stands her ground, is very capable, is intelligent, and works hard? Sign me the hell up. I fell hard for her when watching the movies growing up and then loved her more when I finally read the books in 5th grade lol
@mx.moobloom
4 жыл бұрын
@@jessicabraud3307 same bro, I read the first book in like 3rd grade, but also in that same year I read the ever after high book series, and will not confirm nor deny having a crush on Raven Queen.
@jorjaberry8730
4 жыл бұрын
Lowest of Trash I relate so much!! My first girl crush was Ginny (book Ginny lol) I was completely head over heals lol!
@rainmer471
4 жыл бұрын
@@mx.moobloom Honestly same, except I will proudly admit my past crush on Raven Queen. Also Hermione, because how can you not? Also read the first book (and the next four because my parents wouldn't let me read the last two until I borrowed them from the library without asking) in third grade lol
@atree9284
4 жыл бұрын
Lowest of Trash hunny have you ever heard of our lord and savior JADE WEST?!?!
@hhhemlock
4 жыл бұрын
Why can I imagine Hagrid just pulling bibles out of his beard and handing them to random people on the street?
@ivyg1515
4 жыл бұрын
Harry, Ron and Hermione stared in shock as Hagrid walked down Privet Drive while pulling out bibles from his beard and handing them to the atheists on the street. "Hagrid," Hermione said, full of concern. "What...are you doing?" "YA'LL NEED JESÙS!" Hagrid screamed. "Oh, hello Hermione."
@outtathepantry
4 жыл бұрын
Pphhtt, yes. Also love the Bakugou pfp.
@Zoe-bx9bp
4 жыл бұрын
@@gwendolynwestwind9764 we had gideons show up at school and give everyone a pocket bible. By the end of the day, two were ripped up, two graffitied with pentagrams and stuff and one was burned at some point. I may be a Christian myself but schools should not have groups in trying to force it on others.
@ashikjaman1940
4 жыл бұрын
Gwendolyn Westwind One year a bunch of people outside my school were handing out pocket bibles. They gave one to a girl in a hijab and it was really awkward lmao
@patom8327
4 жыл бұрын
At my school in the entrance room the table in it had bibles on it. And by the end of the day they were thrown across the room. And as a Christian I picked up one still on the table and chucked it.
@AutisticJoker88
Жыл бұрын
Christian Harry Potter reminds me of the time Ned Flanders read Harry Potter to his kid and was all like "And Harry Potter, and all of his wizard friends went straight to Hell for practicing Witchcraft!"
@Nora-no9gx
Жыл бұрын
"Yay!"
@clairesaunders5694
4 жыл бұрын
"science, socialism, and birthdays" ah yes, the 3 sins
@golden_starlight_
4 жыл бұрын
the unholy trinity
@actioncat2921
4 жыл бұрын
The 3 genders
@snekboop9687
4 жыл бұрын
this comment sent me
@paris5410
4 жыл бұрын
I'm kind of into all three, but mostly socialism
@rosegold2790
4 жыл бұрын
Tag yourself I’m birthdays
@maddiegrace3939
3 жыл бұрын
"dumbledore cried calmly" has the same energy as "dumbledore asked calmly"
@NoNo-lt9bi
3 жыл бұрын
DiD yOuFv PuT yOUR namE iN tHe gOoBlrt of FIRE!?!?!?
@Yesmypfpismeirl
3 жыл бұрын
@@NoNo-lt9bi you’re saying it wrong it’s not “DiD yoU pUt yOur NaMe iN tHe gObLet Of FirE” Its “HarRy HarrY! DiD yoU pUt YOur NamE iN tHe gOBLet Of FiRE”
@nataliebarbosa7477
3 жыл бұрын
*inhales* haRrY, HarRy, diD yEH pUt yA naMe iN tHe gOblEt oF fYAh!?”
@DKlett1
3 жыл бұрын
I can only imagine Dumbledore *WILDY SOBBING*
@jaslynlee4405
3 жыл бұрын
HARRY IM SAD
@selkie2sato396
4 жыл бұрын
"You're a Christian now, Harry." every christian mom when their child is born
@tudor1693
4 жыл бұрын
thats why they call upon god when in labor
@micabicaldo
4 жыл бұрын
Sounds like the baptisms I’ve witnessed
@unclekanethetiberiummain1994
4 жыл бұрын
Everybody knows women can't birth children by themselves. God just shove his hand there, grabs the baby and then yanks it out.
@gothicwebby2097
4 жыл бұрын
Uncle Kane the tiberium main obviously! How else would it happen? Those bogus doctors?
@axo7389
4 жыл бұрын
This is true. Can confirm
@camchameleon4151
3 жыл бұрын
20:28 at my last Christian school, there was a teacher who taught upper elementary, and when she was lecturing a troublesome student, her version was, “look at me in my god-given eyeballs!” And every time I cringed just a little bit harder
@elizabethsmith7224
2 жыл бұрын
As a Christian that sounds hilarious.
@towelgirl21
Жыл бұрын
Was she trying to make the kid laugh? It's just such weird phrasing XD
@turtlegamer9818
Жыл бұрын
@@elizabethsmith7224 agreed
@misxa6344
Жыл бұрын
👁️👁️ "look at me in my god given eyeballs!
@conwaysquest6961
Жыл бұрын
God Gave her those eyeballs? what happened to the ones she was born with?
@finnsnyder8900
3 жыл бұрын
"Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal" is a whole ass mood
@beetle7710
3 жыл бұрын
Yes
@blacksheep1924
3 жыл бұрын
I felt it in my GOD DAMN SOUL, and that saying something, cause I'm not entirely sure I have one.
@angelamaryquitecontrary4609
3 жыл бұрын
It's called 'porridge' in UK English.
@blacksheep1924
3 жыл бұрын
@@angelamaryquitecontrary4609 at least it ain't grits
@shigekax
3 жыл бұрын
I read ronald reagan and thought to myself "yes" while picturing the man crying
@mangomamba5482
4 жыл бұрын
"Parenting should be about children, not the parents" So what you're saying is that as long as the child is loved and cared for, it doesn't matter who the parents are? Hell yeah, gay rights
@andreeaalbu6406
4 жыл бұрын
i love this
@matilde_5
4 жыл бұрын
Checkmate!
@monbub
4 жыл бұрын
that is literally the only thing I agreed with in the whole book
@ReptilianTeaDrinker
4 жыл бұрын
Hell yes!!! LONG LIVE GAY RIGHTS.
@aurora6256
4 жыл бұрын
Long live single parents too!
@Scarleto
4 жыл бұрын
"This poor little one has been raised in a terrible situation," Hagrid declared concernedly. "He was watched by a babysitter every second of the day, his aunt saw him as part of her perfect life package like the big house, the fancy career, and the speedy car!" Well at least he didn't grow up in a cupboard under the stairs like that other kid.
@xaldynnemo47
4 жыл бұрын
She keeps bringing up the babysitter, too. If both parents worked, having a babysitter instead of just leaving their kids alone all the time sounds like *amazing* parenting. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the author is jealous of the babysitter her husband hired...
@SunnyDragonfly
4 жыл бұрын
@@xaldynnemo47 She didn't want to alienate the christian families that have so many kids that some do live under the stairs
@Scarleto
4 жыл бұрын
I'm honestly still wondering where Dudley is LOL
@jasper3706
4 жыл бұрын
"He's been raised in such a horrible situation! His aunt and uncle treat and love him like their own child, and constant individual supervision by a babysitter even when his parents are at work! Not to mention, they teach him about SCIENCE for FUN"
@astrinymris9953
4 жыл бұрын
@@Scarleto As a sinful feminist, Petunia decided to exercise her reproductive rights and never bore a biological child of her own. ;-D
@annitanap3671
Жыл бұрын
I find it super ironic that Luna and other Hufflepuff hats are looked down on for only worshiping some of the Bible when Harry is literally sitting there eating bacon. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EATING PIG HARRY! WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?!
@apple-macaron2576
Жыл бұрын
I KNOW RIGHT? Ahh yes, we listen to the entire bible, how dare you not?! But of course the entire bible is the convenient part only.
@vicenteabalosdominguez5257
Жыл бұрын
He's christian, not jewish.
@paulsander5579
Жыл бұрын
@vicenteabalosdomin In the bible god says what animals you can and can't eat, (something to do with coven hooves or something) Your not so post to eat pig, Horses tho? Go crazy
@michaelhenry3234
Жыл бұрын
@@paulsander5579 Yes, but Christians believe that Jesus' sacrifice has unburdened humanity from those rules. Like, Christians no longer have to sacrifice animals to God (etc.) because Jesus is the ultimate sacrifice.
@neoqwerty
Жыл бұрын
@@michaelhenry3234 Theene ewhy do they still insist homosexuality's a sin? They pick and choose out of convenience awfully often, is it or is it not supposed to be a thing? Also they think abortion bad when there's instructions on magic paternity-detecting abortion potion, so abortion is okay for infidelity, which is NEVER a proposed exemption on the chistians' abortion bans.... At least they could either pick all or none and be consistent, instead of wishy washy cherry-picking heretics. I'm the non-believer, I'm not supposed to know the bible's rules and the specifics of it better than them.
@a.vangarde5116
4 жыл бұрын
So "Mr. Snape" was wearing a suit and tie but Harry could still see his chest hair? So I guess he wasn't wearing a shirt? Is Mr. Snape a Christian stripper?
@danielcastillo591
4 жыл бұрын
Excuse me, they prefer the term "Stripstians"
@AriVirtual
4 жыл бұрын
Lmao I love how you got there. Is that his big secret??!?!?! Also the mental image wont leave me so thx for fun fun dreams tonight 😙
@skitariiranger4346
4 жыл бұрын
You know what. I am a okay with that
@skitariiranger4346
4 жыл бұрын
@@AriVirtual same
@safehouse432
4 жыл бұрын
I'm assuming 50 shades of grey is her secret pleasure.
@KurKiriKuru
4 жыл бұрын
My Evangelical parents and "church family" talked about the Harry Potter books in such a way when they came out that made me believe they were actual spell books written by an old wizard named Harry Potter. I'm a Ravenclaw now.
@sak-8679
3 жыл бұрын
LMAO- I HURT MY BACK FUC-
@oneflamingpotato7965
3 жыл бұрын
@@sak-8679 Oh shit, you good man
@lilysiandaza4296
3 жыл бұрын
Me too! Fellow Ravenclaw ;)
@jessicajennings9148
3 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I felt like my parents were the only Christians that let their kids read Harry Potter.
@luuuuux_
3 жыл бұрын
Hey! A fellow Ravenclaw!
@zombietuna2590
4 жыл бұрын
"She's a better writer than Onision, I will give her that" We all know how low that bar is. 😅
@RuSosan
4 жыл бұрын
That bar is so low that one would have to dig a tunnel to even get close to it. _A very, very, _*_VERY_*_ deep tunnel..._
@gaesimp__
4 жыл бұрын
Yes
@frenchfry55
4 жыл бұрын
@@RuSosan digging-down-into-the-earth's-core-until-you-burn deep, how low the bar is
@bachpham6862
4 жыл бұрын
Then again, she copy most of her homework from a competent writer.
@Raximus3000
4 жыл бұрын
There is a lower though, the author of "empress theresa."
@morgan1076
Жыл бұрын
turning Hermione into the opposite of a career woman is one of the funniest things I've ever heard
@breindykohane6142
11 ай бұрын
I know!!! She is literally the defition of a future career woman!
@xHerzAusStahlx
8 ай бұрын
The original Hermione is one of those characters who get the ending in which they have children because the author was trying to make some kind of point with it ("this is the trad happy end everyone expects, riiiight?", "the legacy has to go on", "the kid is supposed to accomplish something", "the world is finally safe so everyone absolutely has to have kids", "the world is not safe but people have kids despite it all"... whatever), but it feels really out of character because from what we have seen until this ending this person would have been *so* childfree 😅
@redactedredacted6856
4 жыл бұрын
The (un)holy trinity: science, socialism and birthdays
@trol_8889
4 жыл бұрын
Based
@squigg7107
4 жыл бұрын
Sounds like a party
@gondorsfinest5774
4 жыл бұрын
you should make merch that says ‘science & socialism & birthdays’
@zaryellllyyy
4 жыл бұрын
Oh man I sure do love glee
@wuschelkopf5583
4 жыл бұрын
Birthdays? We LOOOOOOOVE Birthdays
@_sickbug
4 жыл бұрын
" Ronald began to *cry into his oatmeal* " my morning routine
@evankimsey7867
3 жыл бұрын
Same, as also I love the pfp
@michaelinthebathroom7560
3 жыл бұрын
Hello Catra.
@_sickbug
3 жыл бұрын
@@michaelinthebathroom7560 hey adora
@billystokes3917
3 жыл бұрын
I prefer to cry into my frosted flakes.
@deathbydrano
3 жыл бұрын
Noice pfp btw
@ninjabuttocks
4 жыл бұрын
“Birthdays aren’t Christian” that sounds like Jehovah’s Witness.
"Birthdays aren't christian!" *continues to celebrate Jesus's birth*
@one_smol_duck
4 жыл бұрын
So does "Harry Potter isn't Christian" in the first place tbh
@pippi2285
4 жыл бұрын
@@rainqueen4624 Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate christmas either
@THEphoney
Жыл бұрын
I love how Harry's parents are never mentioned, I imagine the marauders in their dorm one day yelling at the ceiling "FATHER GOD, PLEASE BLESS THIS MAP!" They likely wouldn't even call themselves the marauders, they'd call themelves preachers of God or something 💀
@neoqwerty
Жыл бұрын
They're the Cathars 2.0 probably
@effervescentapricot7522
Жыл бұрын
The Crusaders maybe?
@patrickmcelrath4962
9 ай бұрын
@@neoqwertythe anode or the cathode
@sh4peshifter480
4 жыл бұрын
Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles, where everyone is a perfect Christian. Apart from, apparently, three quarters of the school.
@thedanpride
4 жыл бұрын
The part where Reverend Dumbledore says that if they didn't include the other hats the school would be small concerned me because the implication to me is that the other hats are only there so Gryffindor hats can convert them
@Quinn-bq9sv
4 жыл бұрын
So... *c h u r c h*
@kota463
4 жыл бұрын
Quinn exactly
@lauragraceokay
4 жыл бұрын
so, catholic school.
@crochetingcanuck
4 жыл бұрын
@@lauragraceokay as a former student, I can verfiy the accuracy of this lol.
@multiverse1017
4 жыл бұрын
The thing that frustrates me most is that they changed everyone’s houses. “I hate slytherins” is not something Draco Malfoy would ever say in any conceivable universe ever
@NokoFace
4 жыл бұрын
Haven't watched the video yet, but just reading what you said has absolutely infuriated me.
@CurbHopper111
4 жыл бұрын
I think that's just more proof it's a troll. They know the characters too well in order to make things the opposite and ironic.
@Natalie-rr7db
4 жыл бұрын
I know! It bothered me so much. Snape's outfit was awful too. Mr. Snape. My brain hurts.
@SakiBlablabla
4 жыл бұрын
NokoFace 😅😂🤣 True!
@moontowne4873
4 жыл бұрын
Shut up malfoy SHUT UP
@riinmclave1635
4 жыл бұрын
this christian mom trying to erase all the accidental drarry and just SO much making it worse
@AmPhilH3O
4 жыл бұрын
@Hans Hanzo i read the Snape description to my partners, one who loves Snape and one who really dislikes him. Both were just like, "WTF"
@dragongirl7978
4 жыл бұрын
There was no accidental Drarry. Seriously, the "enemies are secretly in love" trope is dumb. The closest I could maybe see is Draco having feelings for Harry but not the other way round. Their kids on the other hand, oh my. 😍 Cursed Child sucked as a story, but Albus and Scorpius are literally the cutest thing ever (even if there is a completely stupid and irrelevant "no homo" scene near the end 🙄🙄🙄). I ship them so hard.
@AmPhilH3O
4 жыл бұрын
@@dragongirl7978 Not going to lie, Cursed Child read like a fanfiction, but I didnt even mind because Scorpio and Albus were just so adorable.
@dragongirl7978
4 жыл бұрын
@@AmPhilH3O Someone actually wrote a fanfiction cleaning it up, turning it into a novel, and altering it just slightly to make it Scorbus (AS IT SHOULD BE!) and I actually mostly read that instead of the actual screenplay lol.
@stevefilms1997
Жыл бұрын
I respect hermione’s game Always offer to do something you know is not needed so you can seem nice without having to do anything Offering to help cook was a deception 100 move mad respect
@internettraveler8666
4 жыл бұрын
This reads like if the original aunt petunia wrote Harry Potter
@kealchsfactory7492
4 жыл бұрын
As opposed to Rita Skeeter who was the original writer
@eggtemperaa
4 жыл бұрын
LITERALLY WTF
@mollygustafsson7546
4 жыл бұрын
@Kealch's Factory Did you just call JK Rowling Rita Skeeter because honestly i agree
@consumption3327
4 жыл бұрын
Molly Gustafsson well, Rita Skeeter is like a desperate fanfic writer, and after Cursed Child, JK Rowling isn’t that far off lmao
@sophiesometimessews
4 жыл бұрын
Kealch's Factory it was obviously Gilderoy Lockhart who stole Hermione’s essays and released them into the muggle world to get enough money to shrink himself to the size of a mouse
@lacrossestick132
3 жыл бұрын
“Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal” is a more Ron sentence than any sentence in the original books, yet at the same time the least Ron sentence ever
@ET--
3 жыл бұрын
Plot twist , The mentioned ronald in this situation is .... Ronald Reagan
@dumbfrap88
2 жыл бұрын
I’m
@So_Indecisive
2 жыл бұрын
Maybe if the phrasing was different,it would work maybe ‘Ron began to sob into his porridge’ would work better or something like that
@raffaelefrau9789
2 жыл бұрын
They forgot his name is Ronald billius.
@pinkdragon4830
2 жыл бұрын
@@ET-- Ronald McDonald
@sami.meg10
4 жыл бұрын
Mister snape may have sent you, but the phrase “cried into his oatmeal” sent me with free two-day shipping from amazon prime
@alexpotts6520
Жыл бұрын
The thing is we *already* have "Harry Potter for Christians" - it's called the Chronicles of Narnia and the allegory is subtle enough that it can be enjoyed totally independently of it being Christian propaganda. (I certainly didn't make the connection when I read those books as a kid.)
@jacksonreynolds7433
9 ай бұрын
The allegory is subtle enough until the last book when it comes in at the speed of crashing train lol.
@boxorak
7 ай бұрын
You're not wrong, but doesn't Aslan literally say he's Jesus at some point?
@Doomzdeh
7 ай бұрын
Having allusions and references to a religion does not make something propaganda. Narnia involves Christianity in its world and story, but it never lies about it
@the_last_ballad
5 ай бұрын
@@Doomzdeh and having lies or trying to hide a message isn't necessary for something to be propoganda. Plenty of propoganda uses actual events(say the "let's go to war" US WWII propoganda featuring the actions of the Nazis) or is very blatant about the message it is pushing(like plenty of Christian media)
@jolynelovemail
2 ай бұрын
@@Doomzdeh propaganda isn't inherently equivalent to misinformation, you know that, right? propaganda is defined by Merriam-Webster as "the spreading of ideas, information, or rumor for the purpose of helping or injuring an institution, a cause, or a person" or the idea/information/rumor itself
@michaelwithay
4 жыл бұрын
I really love that even though Ron was eating oatmeal he somehow spit out the bacon that Harry was eating
@farateq
4 жыл бұрын
harry spat so much it fell in ron’s mouth
@blueshell292
3 жыл бұрын
This is disgusting. Have a like
@lilithsangrouber804
3 жыл бұрын
Perhaps they were making out but the author didn't mention it
@therat4890
3 жыл бұрын
They were definitely snogging tho
@Tobias_iscool
3 жыл бұрын
**WhEeZe**
@kayleeatkins6202
4 жыл бұрын
“Hermione called Dumbledore daddy” This women’s trying to tell you something
@gabyaguilar2414
4 жыл бұрын
can we make a spin-off
@Jan-kr6xn
4 жыл бұрын
Gaby Aguilar pleaseeee do ohmygosh
@kayleeatkins6202
4 жыл бұрын
Let’s do it. I say we all share a google document with each other and get to work.
@Jan-kr6xn
4 жыл бұрын
Yess
@mollygustafsson7546
4 жыл бұрын
Absolutely im in
@spookyrosev6467
4 жыл бұрын
That Harry vs Draco match is basically the one meme that’s like: Harry: All women! Are queens! Draco: if she breathes! SHE’S A THOOOT!!!! Edit: holy shit I didn’t expect my shitpost to blow up like this
@mariafausti3128
4 жыл бұрын
Lmao yesss
@OatmealGrillBlazer
4 жыл бұрын
hi again
@danielleisaacs6237
4 жыл бұрын
Except theyre both trying to own them
@nyxowo8143
4 жыл бұрын
@@danielleisaacs6237 OOF
@pipinacarathanasis
4 жыл бұрын
LMAOOO
@_.ray._2043
Жыл бұрын
Imagine the kids saying they want to watch the movies. I can just imagine the mother acting out the book she wrote
@Ӝ̵̨̄-з6м
4 жыл бұрын
"Harry vocalized" has the same energy as calling eyes orbs
@casperwashere
4 жыл бұрын
Accurate
@adamferguson4676
4 жыл бұрын
Ciara :D well they technically are lol
@starduststriker8792
4 жыл бұрын
Broke: Eyes Woke: Orbs Bespoke: Balls
@ninjacreeper1066
4 жыл бұрын
@Emily Barclay Crucified: Ocular Globes
@hellointernetitsphilsfirst9397
4 жыл бұрын
For your consideration: Sight circles
@jimmothina
4 жыл бұрын
So if this mom believes Harry Potter would turn her children into witch, then if she gave her children IKEA instructions, would they turn into chairs?
@MrsMoonify
4 жыл бұрын
But at least chairs aren't the spawn of Satan 😆
@kane2056
4 жыл бұрын
@@MrsMoonify they are far worse than that. Satan is like a little five year old bully compaired to a chair. Chairs are the very definition of evil.
@aisforanimate4703
4 жыл бұрын
@@kane2056 How dare you invoke the name of the greatest demon! Begone evil
@svartrbrisingr6141
4 жыл бұрын
SHHHHHHH!!!!!! don't tell them the secret of IKEA instructions!!
@cayreet5992
4 жыл бұрын
Have you seen IKEA instruction? Those kids would turn into everything but chairs.
@spookyspider2820
4 жыл бұрын
“*your a christian now harry*” “evolution is a fairytale” “birthdays are not of god” “sexy Jesus stuff” “daddy” “an agenda in congress” “the freedom of religion” “getting a bit naughty” “their roommates” (and they were roommates) “welcome to Hogwarts school of pray and miracles” “do they really love the lord?” “the mommy of or lord?!” “then god hates you” “real bacon” “as long as you agree with us” “luna thinks she can have a carer but woman are stupid” “there gifts serve them best in the home” “ron cry’s in his oatmeal” “sinners” “mr snape”
@noomre9105
4 жыл бұрын
OH MY GOSH THEY WERE ROOMMATES
@erica2003girl1
4 жыл бұрын
no omre I was gonna say that 🤣
@A_Person167-8
4 жыл бұрын
Reading this was a rollercoaster of emotions 😓😓😐😐
@spookyspider2820
4 жыл бұрын
Tati V to late plebeian
@ihopeitendssoon
4 жыл бұрын
The amount of grammar mistakes you made in this is worse than the writing itself
@phantomtoby9972
3 жыл бұрын
me: drinking water "HERMIONE CALLS DUMBLEDORE 'DADDY'-" me: *almost spits out water*
@BritishMotherfucker
Жыл бұрын
U good?
@renkomon.8312
9 ай бұрын
What?! I need a timestamp of when that was pointed out. I don't feel so good.😶
@arlaratman862
4 жыл бұрын
Petunia:”Harry, do you want a second birthday?” Harry: (knowing the bible despite not knowing what it was)”oh, haven’t you heard?”
@RoguSpanish
4 жыл бұрын
Imagine a kid going from never having heard of christians, to converting to christianity, to lecturing you on what is and isn't christian within the course of like 5 minutes. "Brainwashing" isn't a strong enough term for that shit.
@Jess.Anderson
4 жыл бұрын
When harry became Christian the Bible was miraculously downloaded into his brain... Because its called "school of prayers and *miracles* "
@emiliew5553
4 жыл бұрын
and also as a person who was raised christian, i have had so many fucking birthdays my dudes. i'm not christian anymore, that's probably why i suddenly woke up one morning with the memories of many birthdays in my brain.
@midgematic8659
4 жыл бұрын
Very true, after all, we are just ants compared to the beautiful birth of Jesus Christ, our birthdays are merely days that we should spend on praying to our Father. There is no such thing as celebrating our children’s lives when we could be using that time to celebrate the second coming of our Savior. /s
@leof20202
4 жыл бұрын
I knew I had to upvote this comment when I saw your name
@skylarjohnson7779
4 жыл бұрын
"every woman is a man's future wife" it's nice that she thinks even I will find someone.
@internetsuchtixd747
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah that was my fist thought as well At least she believes in me
@saulesalejos4483
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah.. Nuns? No those dosen't matter.
@internetsuchtixd747
3 жыл бұрын
@@saulesalejos4483 nah they clearly don’t...
@lick28
3 жыл бұрын
@@saulesalejos4483 nuns are from a completely different species. Have you seen those things? They look like they can be in a horror film titled "The nun"
@chestersnap
3 жыл бұрын
Aren't nuns married to God?
@TotallyHateit
4 жыл бұрын
Are we just going to ignore how Harry was able to see Snape’s chest even though he was wearing a suit and tie? Was he wearing a tie with his shirt open? I’m concerned
@pipinacarathanasis
4 жыл бұрын
Snape had a rough night
@Korihor666
4 жыл бұрын
Pipina C. Mood
@catgeo8440
4 жыл бұрын
TotallyHateit actually that's Mr Snape* to you
@lore5751
4 жыл бұрын
Pipina C. With who?
@nyarawr3192
4 жыл бұрын
That's his Christian titty window
@jordanr.2120
3 жыл бұрын
I don't know why the specificity that Mr. Snape wore black leather shoes "on both feet" is the thing that made me laugh the most out of this whole mess.
@tayisjeeperz
4 жыл бұрын
"he has science and socialism and birthdays" might be the best quote of all time
@bxwieknife
4 жыл бұрын
I dunno, "Ronald cried into his oatmeal" is my personal favorite
@shukuala9502
4 жыл бұрын
I'm gonna use that today, it's my birthday
@rainmer471
4 жыл бұрын
ah yes, my three favorite things, science, socialism, and birthdays. Maria would be proud. (To clarify, Maria from the sound of music)
@eggtemperaa
4 жыл бұрын
i love it LMAO
@creepycustard2383
4 жыл бұрын
“Every young girl is another man’s future wife” And that’s the only logical reason to treat women with respect: because it might upset their theoretical husbands
@fambi1271
4 жыл бұрын
My brother says sexist crap all the time to me and my sisters ever since he moved in with his gfs family who are batshit Christan and he apologized TO OUR BOYFRIENDS for "disrespecting their girlfriends feelings" and they should "teach us to stop being so serious" like at least say our names
@fernandarubilar4596
4 жыл бұрын
@@fambi1271 that's horrible
@sylvies5078
4 жыл бұрын
@@fambi1271 ... I kinda wonder what his response would be to a lesbian couple in that situation. At the same time, I dont want to know.
@creepycustard2383
4 жыл бұрын
@@fambi1271 Just waiting for the day until he apologies to your boyfriends for never apologizing to you.
@VicTaylorsVersion
4 жыл бұрын
I feel like that is something my mother's dumb fucking boyfriend would say and it makes me want to die 😑
@DasSpaceAce
4 жыл бұрын
I have the most hilarious mental image of Canon Hagrid just laughing hysterically at Christian Hagrid
@funkydude8196
4 жыл бұрын
Yes and Christian Hagrid looks like ps2 hagrid
@galactic-hamster7043
4 жыл бұрын
@@funkydude8196 but C O W B O Y
@farateq
4 жыл бұрын
and brolden’s hagrid just DYING
@farateq
4 жыл бұрын
darren’s harry and joey’s ron would be eating red vines half in disgust half in amusement
@natasharules770
3 жыл бұрын
This comment has 666 likes write now 😂
@Enigmatic_Lurker
Жыл бұрын
*Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal.* I can't. This line is going to live rent free in my head forever.
@slayqueenlarachelslay4842
4 жыл бұрын
Omg aunt petunia is such a horrible person, how dare she not let Harry get kidnapped by this half giant man, smh
@arlaratman862
4 жыл бұрын
Lemon L’Arachel and let him have two birthdays if he didn’t, so rude 😡
@spookyspider2820
4 жыл бұрын
Lemon L’Arachel god what a bitch
@Dva04
4 жыл бұрын
exactly like such a horrible aunt. smh i’m glad i’m not related to her. and he had a birthday!!!! AWFUL!!!
@arlaratman862
4 жыл бұрын
lol gamer and almost a second one too???? How is he not taken away by cps yet?
@kyliey.6936
4 жыл бұрын
"A Christian Mom Re-Wrote Harry Potter (and I read it because I love to suffer)" By Fall Out Boy
@shiny9690
4 жыл бұрын
(guitar solo)
@fraug8624
4 жыл бұрын
OMG 😂😂😂😂
@dinaandcarson155
4 жыл бұрын
"A Christian Mom Re-Wrote Harry Potter (and I read it because I love to suffer) By Fall Out Boy" - By Panic! At The Disco
@PunkyDPookie
4 жыл бұрын
Dina andCarson omg genius
@thisisthelukas
4 жыл бұрын
Ah yes, the four houses: Christian, Catholic, Mormon, and Lutheran.
@shiny9690
4 жыл бұрын
Don't forget the underground nondenominational house
@chickensweater1774
4 жыл бұрын
I quit my life...... -we love this story-
@georgiaderousse760
4 жыл бұрын
Catholic Mormon and Lutheran are all denominations of Christian. Jesus Christ :|
@owenb8596
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks I was trying to figure out the other one
@izzymarie8987
4 жыл бұрын
Shronk Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, Lutheran
@ra1ndr4gon
Жыл бұрын
Lolololol I remember when I was in 4th grade (8-9 year olds) a girl in my class had a birthday party which was harry potter themed. Her best friend came up to her, and flat out told her she refuses to go, because “god doesn’t like witches and magic”. We died.
@everyones-a-cryptic
4 жыл бұрын
She: ”Every woman is some man's future wife.” Nuns: Am I a joke to you?
@neatoburrito7249
4 жыл бұрын
ThEy aRe A wiFe Of JeSus
@ZomBunny
4 жыл бұрын
alternatively ThEy ArE mArRiEd tO gOd
@justanotheridiot6188
4 жыл бұрын
Lesbians and aromantic women: Am I a joke to you?
@nykcarnsew2238
4 жыл бұрын
Elly Belly well yeah, the author’s an evangelical
@Ash-pe7kx
4 жыл бұрын
Well nuns are catholic, so according to this story just one step removed from Satan himself. An unmarried woman who worships idols...
@jeybox
4 жыл бұрын
"Every young woman is another man's future wife" *Gay silence*
@InquisitorThomas
4 жыл бұрын
Johanna Schmid Straight people that aren’t interested in getting married: *Silence*
@lleafaell
4 жыл бұрын
@@silverschmid4591 wait why transgender silence??
@damkylan3
4 жыл бұрын
@@lleafaell Because some young women will figure out their identity later in life and will not be wives to anybody at that point, but husbands. I guess? Maybe. Even if that wasn't the intent, it still fits.
@spaceorc1397
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah no
@larkf5583
4 жыл бұрын
yes I as a woman can confirm that my kitchen oriented empathic hormones inhibit me at any sort of career. I had the head of the household of which I serve, who is a male, type this out, because once again, my lack of testosterone prevented me from doing it properly.
@raythepisces8733
4 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣 by far my favorite comment
@krekcabnow2910
2 жыл бұрын
I like how Dumbledore is still bias to Gryffindor.
@AnaCarmo
4 жыл бұрын
"Hermione called Dumbledore daddy" well that's a whole other fanfiction right there lol
@steveholmes11
3 жыл бұрын
Shudders!!!
@clinging_to_the_sidewalk
3 жыл бұрын
nOO
@3veywevey
3 жыл бұрын
yeah i took that line the wrong way, i had to skip back and figure it our lmaoo
@thekameha1
3 жыл бұрын
Oh no no no no no NO pls i hope nobody has made that fanfic
@hypermecha5048
3 жыл бұрын
One story at a time now lol
@lukas3236
4 жыл бұрын
*ex-christian confusion when they talk about believing literally everything in the bible WHILE EATING BACON*
@matilde_5
4 жыл бұрын
Them: *your pfp*
@absinthe7266
4 жыл бұрын
МατιldεThεCrαzγOnε lol good one
@ManubibiWalsh
4 жыл бұрын
As a... former? Catholic, doublethink is Christianity’s bread and butter.
@meerodi
4 жыл бұрын
Right!?!
@valeriecarpenter7459
4 жыл бұрын
Same lol
@matilozano96
4 жыл бұрын
In restrospect, Hagrid totally abducted an 11 year old to get him into a cult. In Canon, I mean.
@emiliew5553
4 жыл бұрын
Mati Lozano oh fuck. but at least in the canon the cult gave him superpowers. in this one he just learns Family Values
@Mamorufumio
4 жыл бұрын
2-3 years later: tonight on the bbc we go into the failed mi6 raid on a religious cult that had been increasing its numbers by kidnapping 11 year old children from their homes and brainwashing them to believe in in far right Christian values, and what it could mean for the UK’s future when it comes to such groups.
@HansAlRachid
4 жыл бұрын
Which is why that scene was filmed like a horror movie in the film adaptation.
@lydiafayre9806
4 жыл бұрын
As hot a take as that is, I don't think Hogwarts actually fits very many of the cult hallmarks. It's a boarding school. It functions like a boarding school, just with magic.
@taekinuru2
4 жыл бұрын
Dia Grace You’d be surprised how... Normal, a cult can seem at times. (look up Mormon ‘space camps’)
@oakenshadow6763
Жыл бұрын
My parents are Christian, but they not only let us but encouraged us to read Harry Potter. My mom was actually confused when her mom, also a Christian, asked if it was okay to give us Harry Potter mugs. My mom didn't even know there was controversy around the books. THAT is a Christian. I lean towards Atheist myself. As another comment said, Dumbdore the Cleric casts Hero's feast! 9:35
@lavasqrl702
Жыл бұрын
Sorry to be that guy, but it's Christian, not Cristian.
@conwaysquest6961
Жыл бұрын
When does harry learn the fun spells, like flame strike, insect plague, create undead, or harm?
@turtlesandmoreturtles
Жыл бұрын
@@conwaysquest6961 fiendfyre and inferi are canon as well as many ways to harm people but I don't know about insect plagues. But since they obviously don't work in real life, I don't see anything dangerous in Harry Potter.
@gabrote42
Жыл бұрын
Word. Glad the books were only mildly sexist and horrible, unlike more recent JK works
@conwaysquest6961
Жыл бұрын
@@turtlesandmoreturtles The spells I listed are high-level cleric spells in D&D. I was leaning into the joke.
@dots612
4 жыл бұрын
are we rlly not gonna talk about "Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal"
@tomorrowsagitatortm2569
4 жыл бұрын
Complete mood
@chloe._.
4 жыл бұрын
My favourite line. Ever
@Korihor666
4 жыл бұрын
So far the lunch is my favorite part Ron crying and Harry and draco arguing women shouldn’t have jobs but for different reasons each stupid in its own way...priceless. 😭
@sbrooks9347
4 жыл бұрын
The boy has salty oatmeal now
@IrisCornelydeBoer
4 жыл бұрын
I'm in a Quarantine Quote chat and I saw this absolute beaut without any context, and I think I could've lived without said context. But I'm glad to have obtained it.
@audritarr4220
4 жыл бұрын
"Every woman is a man's future wife" Not if i marry all the women first
@iangarvin4671
4 жыл бұрын
Nice
@bananasinfrench
4 жыл бұрын
Please, save me
@fanpet3912
4 жыл бұрын
That works for me
@coltonbates629
4 жыл бұрын
That's the right attitude!
@childishblood2166
4 жыл бұрын
What if......you're a lesbian?..
@katiecurry8096
4 жыл бұрын
I love how Harry’s Aunt and Uncle in this version are actually better guardians to him than in the original 😂😂😂
@SnakeMan448
4 жыл бұрын
Certain people who believe that the far and away top means being a good person is to have faith in their god and be in the "right" religion depict "worldly" people as going through the motions of doing good things, but it's empty gestures. These certain people tend to be all 'fuck you, got mine', and end up making others look good by comparison.
@den2335
4 жыл бұрын
Snake Man448 exhibit A: the alt right who support a man who has had multiple wives and has cheated on all of them, raped one of his wives and beat her, has stolen from people through fake charities and universities, has stolen from the government by lying on his taxes, and has divided the country more than ever. But he’s a “good Christian man.” Yeah ok.
@misanthropicservitorofmars2116
4 жыл бұрын
Den the Alt Right are not very religious, they are only lightly religious. Most focus on nation and family.
@goldminer754
4 жыл бұрын
@@misanthropicservitorofmars2116 Well but their arguments are pretty often based around Christian ethics or atleast "Judeo-Christian Values"
@misanthropicservitorofmars2116
4 жыл бұрын
Skyler Keck true, my contention was that you have to go to your local communities to find true religion. That’s what it’s all about, being with those around you and sharing in cultural values. Plus the “alt right” seems rather nebulous at this point. I think most people need to examine what’s really going on with other people.
@shiningsylvie
2 жыл бұрын
I went to a private catholic college and was required to take two semesters of theology classes, and for one of them I took a course titled “the gospel according to Harry Potter” and it absolutely ruled. it was a few week long class where we just read all the books and discussed any Christian themes in them. there’s a fair amount, speaking vaguely, like good verses evil etc… anyway I kinda wish we discovered this back then, if only for parody, it would have been a fun thing to laugh about with a bunch of fellow millennials
@xanderguyer7512
Жыл бұрын
Genuinely, my Episcopal church had a summer Bible Camp (for little kids) themed to Harry Potter 😂
@alyrar8002
4 жыл бұрын
- Snape’s chest hair - vegan food is evil - pantsuits are evil - environmentally friendly cars are evil - wHY are all the houses switched - Snape’s chest hair
@lolli_popples
4 жыл бұрын
Another point you should add is Snape's chest hair.
@jan_Masewin
4 жыл бұрын
No matter how annoying vegans get, preventing animals from suffering is still moral :’)
@KylenKiomaka
4 жыл бұрын
How is his chest hair visible if he's wearing a suit? Is it just the suit jacket and tie, with no shirt underneath?
@crystalfinlay4499
4 жыл бұрын
You should have added the fact this women called him Mr. Snape. Haha lmfao is sounds so out of place.
@synflwr
4 жыл бұрын
As a vegetarian, I can confirm some of the substitute food I’ve eaten is evil.
@sourwitch2340
4 жыл бұрын
Love how Voldemort, a murderer, is a politician. I was expecting he'd be literally Satan, come on!
@elleelizabeth4199
4 жыл бұрын
Maybe whoever wrote this was going to continue and so she was saving Satan fir Grindelwald
@iamtheroponian7731
4 жыл бұрын
Probably because she didn't want her kids to think anyone could ever be as bad as the indescribable evil of Satan...or something idfk
@bombtwenty3867
4 жыл бұрын
Well in Harry Potter, which is a book written by an occultist, Voldemort is supposed to be Jesus Christ.
@lucymarshall1090
4 жыл бұрын
Bomb Twenty I literally cannot tell if this is a joke or not, but Voldemort is supposed to be Hitler, not Jesus, and the muggles/muggleborns are Jews, and Dumbledore is Einstein
@bombtwenty3867
4 жыл бұрын
Lucy Marshall Of course Voldemort is supposed to be Jesus, when was Hitler raised from the dead? A sign a movie is an occult allegory is the same story is told in different movies. So here's a comparison, Harry Potter and the Matrix, two identical movies. Both protagonists are male and live in a small room made of wood, cupboard/loft, because the character also symbolises the wooden spear. Both receive messages inviting them into a new life. Both are contacted by people who'll take them to this new life. In both cases the gateway to a new life appears supernatural. Both are taught lessons for their new life. Both discover they are a chosen one\messiah character from a wise man/woman character. Both protagonists kill the antagonist. In both cases the Antagonist is RESURRECTED (little clue here), and builds a large army. In both movies the protagonist discovers when they killed the antagonist the first time, a supernatural connection was made between them. The Antagonist has the wise man/woman character killed in order to gain magic power, foresight\the elder wand. And the protagonist discovers he has to die to defeat the antagonist. Who is Voldemort? A guy with a mysterious father he never met, demands people have faith in him, and comes back from the dead. He has relics called horcrux (crux=cross), including a goblet (holy grail), and a book, tom riddles diary (bible), which has to be destroyed to destroy him for good etc. I mean it's made about as obvious as possible who the bad guy really is in the story. Smith Voldemort is Jesus Christ, comes back from the dead and builds a large army (Christendom). Both gain converts after his death. Smith clones himself, kind of a mockery saying all Christians are the same unthinking clones. Both Voldemort and Smith die and are resurrected, when Smith is killed he adopts a cruciform pose and Thomas A Anderson makes his body into a spear and kills Smith, a spear of Longinus reference. In Sumerian Gematria, which is how 666 is calculated, "T A Anderson"= 666 (120+0+6+0+6+84+24+30+108+114+90+84) "Longinus"=666 (72+90+84+42+54+84+126+114). And when Smith adopts his cruciform pose, he has his comrades either side of him. This Calvary scene wasn't an accident. Note that Harry Potter was started before the Matrix, but the Matrix was finish before Harry Potter, yet they tell the same tale but for different age groups.
@esthermigo3009
4 жыл бұрын
"every young woman is a man's future wife" *oh see that, it's the gay leaving my body*
@wooyeah1738
4 жыл бұрын
*excuse me, sir, have you seen my gay*
@redacted5078
4 жыл бұрын
@@wooyeah1738 I Saw a woman called Joanne Rowling run away with it
@wooyeah1738
4 жыл бұрын
[REDACTED] That was a beautiful addition to this
@sobertillnoon
4 жыл бұрын
I feel like strange aeons here took a bit of exception to that line. I can't figure out why that would be but they didn't seem to care much for it.
@ClownDollThatHasContemptForYou
4 жыл бұрын
*my gay,where is it?*
@torcoolguy
Жыл бұрын
I dunno why, but "Reverend Albus Dumbledore" hit with way more psychic damage than I would expect.
@rhysgrammling4531
4 жыл бұрын
"The bible is the best book ever why can't you just respect that" Hermione sobbed femininely
@emiliap8790
4 жыл бұрын
Lmfaoo
@jackhazardous4008
4 жыл бұрын
Vampire sighed sexily
@reynarudydharsono603
3 жыл бұрын
I am trying my best not to flip cause that phrase was pretty offending to me and I do not know why
@mistermangoman9293
4 жыл бұрын
“Being an atheist is a long slippery slope to not vacuuming” Me: hey that’s not true! Me:*looks at the floor of my room* Me:ok you win this one
@siggilinde5623
4 жыл бұрын
And I was wondering what was wrong with me. Excuse me, I have to go to church, pray and maybe I will buy there a vacuum cleaner. You think the brand “devil“ is available there?
@DutchHeathen
4 жыл бұрын
This is what theists would label a checkmate.
@batyalivni3577
4 жыл бұрын
Well something clearly went wrong somewhere because I'm a theist and my carpet is... Something. I demand my clean carpet religion privilege immediately
@ghostsatelier7652
4 жыл бұрын
@@batyalivni3577 mmmmsame
@nothingposted9056
4 жыл бұрын
My excuse is that I'm thinking about vacuuming
@perciusmandate
3 жыл бұрын
Book: "Every young woman is another man's future wife." Me, still alone: Shakes crucifix to see if it's on.
@blueshell292
3 жыл бұрын
I'm legit pissing myself here, "shakes crucifix to see if it’s on" is a phrase that deserves to be mentioned in humanity's end credits
@cosmic_leif
3 жыл бұрын
Oh god oh as a Christian no now I hope God makes end credits lmao
@biscuitchomper1027
3 жыл бұрын
Me, an asexual: *quietly chuckles* I'm in danger
@addisonivyy
3 жыл бұрын
Me, a lesbian: *disappears*
@reynarudydharsono603
3 жыл бұрын
Me, a supposed Aroace: Even the *church* ain't safe
@SeikaChroma
Жыл бұрын
You sounded like you're about to cry while reading us this, and understandably so. I don't know whether it's from joy, cringe, or pain, but the feeling is there 😂😂😂 this rewritten tale is WILD.
@artemiswolf4508
4 жыл бұрын
We don’t find out what’s house Ravenclaw, so I’m gonna assume that’s were the gay kids go
@paris5410
4 жыл бұрын
Draco
@paris5410
4 жыл бұрын
Also no, the one with the gays is probably Hufflepuff with Luna and the "only part of the Bible counts, the not too ridiculous bits"
@AlyssaRicks
4 жыл бұрын
Draco is a Ravenclaw. So Ravenvlaw is whatever The Transformed Wife is
@AlyssaRicks
4 жыл бұрын
@Fae stuffel I know people are generally ignorant about Mormons but we definitely aren't bible purists, so I doubt it's us
@xenonsan3110
4 жыл бұрын
Ravenclaw is probably independent fundamentalist baptist. If you want to know more about how they treat LGBT people look up the "make america straight again conference." These people are literally calling for capital punishment and it's disgusting
@apollyonkatastrefia1586
4 жыл бұрын
Original aunt Petunia would never have a dirty carpet.
@keelwarner231
4 жыл бұрын
Big facts
@youruncleolaf4694
4 жыл бұрын
She’d make Harry clean it
@catwillden2520
4 жыл бұрын
not a troll evidence here
@katiemolloy9073
4 жыл бұрын
Every young woman is another mans future wife *stares in lesbian*
@elizabethsmith7224
4 жыл бұрын
Confused Bi noises
@banjomango145
4 жыл бұрын
[gay silence]
@pookydookyneo4011
4 жыл бұрын
Bamboozled asexual noises
@rubybaker1466
4 жыл бұрын
my face: 👁👄👁
@louie5471
4 жыл бұрын
Cries in gay man
@sarcardinal
2 жыл бұрын
this fanfic made me cry into MY oatmeal
@blake4144
Жыл бұрын
mood.
@a.m.h.a.9760
4 жыл бұрын
Even as a straight girl, the line "every young woman is another man's future wife" doesn't sit right on me Edit 3 years later: I am in fact not straight and am not a girl 😭
@svartrbrisingr6141
4 жыл бұрын
Does anything about that rewrite sit right?
@a.m.h.a.9760
4 жыл бұрын
@@svartrbrisingr6141 now I've regrown my brain cells that I had lost from this. no, no it doesn't
@samuelhomberg9075
4 жыл бұрын
Even as a man I can't really wrap my head around the thought, that people like this really exist...
@dreamcanvas5321
4 жыл бұрын
I was raised with religion but atheist now, and I can tell you that it's really, really disheartening how many women I knew who deeply internalized that pseudo-equality. It's literally gaslighting "we believe women are equal but different to men, which is why men get to make the decisions and women get to make the food!" There's varying degrees and extremes depending on subgroup but it's still horribly dehumanizing.
@tealablu3759
4 жыл бұрын
I’m straight and Christian and female, and I was like wut 🤣🤣 no one has ever told me my purpose in life is to be some guy’s wife. Ever.
@StealthPants1
4 жыл бұрын
I think "ronald began to cry into his oatmeal" is still in character
@TheBonkleFox
4 жыл бұрын
and then he still ate it.
@horae2583
4 жыл бұрын
a growing christian boy needs his sodium 🤷♀️
@jasper2739
4 жыл бұрын
@@horae2583 ...yes
@ayushibhanja
4 жыл бұрын
i cackled because you’re so right
@slinkie423
4 жыл бұрын
"Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal" is a bigger mood than it should be
@dextra9753
4 жыл бұрын
ron BURSTING into to tears while eating oatmeal because someone insulted mary, mother of jesus is the funniest shit
@gwenm4937
4 жыл бұрын
I made it my instagram bio, I want to confuse the people who know me >:)
@Sam-gg9kn
4 жыл бұрын
The best part is book Ron probably didn't even know what religion was and would've been super confused by this entire situation
@shotaaizawa1320
4 жыл бұрын
As a peep with a eating disorder. I relateee
@MegaRambit
3 жыл бұрын
The thought of Draco wearing khakis is ... It might be the most wrong thing in here. Wait until his father hears about this.
@d.c.3141
4 жыл бұрын
"She's a better writer than onision, I'll give her that." Lol that doesn't take much 😂
@felixstone3.14
4 жыл бұрын
Me: peepeeellie XBox: achievement get: be a better writer then onionboi
@emiliew5553
4 жыл бұрын
@@felixstone3.14 that's like the achievement you get on reddit for verifying your email
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