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@hollo7104
5 ай бұрын
Just an odd thing to notice, this message is 5 days before the upload.
@praneelprasad5042
5 ай бұрын
0:05 I felt that “are?!”
@BeyondTheSide
5 ай бұрын
@@hollo7104 i feel like ive watched this episode before o.o its weird is this a glitch in the matrix? am i the protag?
@Jack-hv3uj
4 ай бұрын
You have spoken to me directly. I'm going for coaching with your company, but I need help with relationships / general social skills AND getting shit done... Can your personal coaching provide both of these?
@KPSS12
4 ай бұрын
Hi, Doctor K. As a man a really appreciate the empathy you direct to our gender, it's so rare. Do you answer questions in videos? I have a report that I think can help a lot of men if you analyze it.
@vincentolivieri4468
4 ай бұрын
Luckely this video is not about me cause im 26.......
@JF098
4 ай бұрын
Whew, that was close
@juxtapos1034
4 ай бұрын
Thanks for commenting this, I thought I was the only idiot thinking this
@cluelets
4 ай бұрын
Those poor 25 year olds
@saikawa2024
3 ай бұрын
@@juxtapos1034 same lmao
@rivaldowill
3 ай бұрын
kkkkkkkk
@fredosama3466
5 ай бұрын
WE ARE GETTING TO 26 YEAR OLD WITH THIS ONE 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
@mihirdeorukhkar7060
5 ай бұрын
Raahhhhhh🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
@ChimiChuri-k2o
5 ай бұрын
where the mediocre rappers & beatmakers🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
@uniquegod1997
5 ай бұрын
I aam
@netyimeni169
5 ай бұрын
Are we?
@DanSoloha
5 ай бұрын
WHAT IF I DONT WANT TO 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
@TheGabrielPT
5 ай бұрын
Holy shit. It's actually creepy how much that meme represents myself. 100% accurate, every single sentence (yes, im a troubled individual)
@DanTheMan104
5 ай бұрын
I feel called out 😂
@deusexmaximum8930
5 ай бұрын
Literal zodiac signs
@-lord1754
5 ай бұрын
Not all of it for me but the stuff about imaginary anthologies and girlfriends is scarily accurate
@jeremias-serus
5 ай бұрын
anthologies and inner monologue for me lol
@tkishikawa
5 ай бұрын
Everything for me, but im 20. Hope i get better soon so i dont get more depressed. I think the main problem for me is i dont have a job so i cant do anything cause i dont matter without a job. Thats why i dont even talk with people anymore yk, wanting, trying and nothing happens.
@dre7256
5 ай бұрын
I just got cooked
@dogetaxes8893
4 ай бұрын
Me a little, I’ve got better recently as when I start thinking scenarios I intervene on myself, and go “nope no more thinking until you do something about it”
@Marco-Vavassori
4 ай бұрын
@@dogetaxes8893 Thank you, i actually wrote this down to explain in simple words the "Be careful about feeding the mind" point.
@TasnuvaAshrafUm
4 ай бұрын
Ye same
@maverickmarcellana4249
4 ай бұрын
Cooked? Yes. Burnt? Far from it. All you gotta do now is get sauted, seasoned, and ready to eat.
@wackyclock
4 ай бұрын
@@maverickmarcellana4249 🔥
@Tony-uv4pd
5 ай бұрын
When I was 20s, I feel I had to accomplish so much. Now, in near mid-30s, I take life casually. Set 2-3 big goals and set a process. Time will do the work.
@lander4072
5 ай бұрын
What goals you set?
@jerlinej3516
5 ай бұрын
Love this. I’ve definitely mellowed out as I’ve gotten older.
@megzarie
5 ай бұрын
Agreed. I think main issue is that we are told from a young age that you have a set of goals that you must follow in life in order to have a happy and fulfilling life. Not only that, but there is this notion that if you dont complete these arbitrary goals others say you should be following, that you're a failure that wont amount to much. We call these goals "Milestones." There's this idea that first we must go to shool, then we must go to uni, then get a job to pay off a crap load of debt from going to uni, then you must get into a relationship (preferably in a cis het relationship according to society), then you must get married, then you must buy a 3 bed 2 bath house, then you must have 2.5 kids and a dog, then you must work yourself into oblivion to save up for this thing called "retirement" which is the one time you're allowed to be lazy a do what you want. But if you're old enough to retire, can you really enjoy not working if your body is failing you more and more as you age? I just think we've been sold something that doesn't work for us anymore. Im not trying to be pessimistic, im trying to say that instead of following a prescribed path, we must go on paths that are more suited to allowing for people to grow more organically. Im not sure how that would work but I think that maybe it could be done?
@eh1932
5 ай бұрын
@@megzarie look into r/FIRE
@Verårtu
5 ай бұрын
bro im 19 and felt the same as you now
@boredguy5805
3 ай бұрын
As a 25 year old who is currently unemployed, has no dating experience, has spent the last 3 years constantly looking at the past and how I wasted time, and spend alot of my current time daydreaming about how good the future could be, this video read me for filth lol. I will start fixing this by stopping using my crutch of always daydreaming about the future. I also dwell on alot of mistakes and need to stop doing that, I must come to acceptance or "resolution of thought" as Dr.K put it. Thank you Dr.K, you are truly a gem. It feels like I can search about any issue I am going through, and I can find a video you've made on it.
@YashhC
3 ай бұрын
You go man. Any progress?
@boredguy5805
3 ай бұрын
@@YashhC my bro it has been 6 days hahaha, taking it day by day
@YashhC
3 ай бұрын
@@boredguy5805 lesgetit
@neverendinchaos4800
3 ай бұрын
@@boredguy5805 I'm like you as well. It's tough, man. I feel like I'm my own worst enemy.
@seasons5928
Ай бұрын
same boat but not entirely sure how to get off this ride. No education haven't talked to another human in at least 2 weeks. All I do is sleep in my tent and dream a better world. I've developed the ability to make myself feel touched and loved by just imagining it, I thought maybe I had developed synesthesia somehow but maybe this is just my body doing the best it can. I'll never date, I probably won't ever get a real hug, and I can just forget about having someone that can understand me. It's just me myself and I in here.
@RyArVBD
5 ай бұрын
"Imagination is an emotional coping mechanism," this one hits so hard because I always do this everyday.
@arekka4440
4 ай бұрын
I find it hard to stop imagining, but I love it since it gives me plenty of ideas to write, and since I want to be a writer I think it's safe to imagine, I think it comes down to what you're spending your imagination into
@YashhC
3 ай бұрын
Repeating this in replies to comments I find relevant. There's a defence mechanism called Autistic Thinking (no offence, just the name), where you imagine as a substitute to reality. Literally this. The good part is, it assumes the best of us. It goes like: First we think of an ideal scenario I our head. It doesn't work. There's frustration. Next, we try to go around it and LIVE, experience, get around the problems. If not, we finally give up and say "Okay, let's try the best we can, let's imagine it can happen." Like Dr. K said. We all do it actually, when we face things we cannot fix. Helps coping too. But autistic thinking starts to become a problem when we "default" to it. Before exploring the first 2 options(trying for ideal scenario, and facing/accepting reality). Hope this reaches you :)
@flowerbloom5782
2 ай бұрын
Same but now we know what to do about it.
@nellothetiger8654
5 ай бұрын
When you finally realize the problem and start to actually drive forward, for a while, you will feel like you're doing something wrong because the pain you feel won't decrease at all(it actually might increase). But you just gotta remember that you've barely moved for a long time in your life. Moving constantly will surely feel exhausting and wrong even at a slow speed. Don't give up. Things get easier over time. You might encounter problems you've never had before, but you will be done with ones you always had at some points and the new problems will start to feel like wonders you discovered rather than illnesses you were born with.
@Tified967
5 ай бұрын
Wise words, well said. I've been working in my current role with 8 years & only just making headway now on moving on out (I actually feel like I'm trauma bonded to that place), the changes are terrifying but it's better than stagnating...I remind myself of that every day
@allanae
5 ай бұрын
I was going to say this is an underrated comment until I saw you only left it 9h ago! Very well said. ✅
@shiggidydig
4 ай бұрын
This channel makes me feel less terminally unique and for that I am eternally grateful. Dr. K really has his fingers on the pulse of young mens' psyches and I admire him for pushing forward in both his understanding and willingness to teach what he's learning.
@phoenixfireclusterbomb
3 ай бұрын
No, it doesn’t always get better. Stop lying…..
@nellothetiger8654
3 ай бұрын
@@phoenixfireclusterbomb You're right. It doesn't. As long as you're doubting and even looking away from the hope you have somewhere in your heart. You might feel hopeless and you might even insist that's not how you 'feel' but that just how it 'is', the thing that has been making you to watch Dr.K's videos and even live a comment still exists, and you gotta accept it if you wanna make a progress on anything.
@Pattooters
4 ай бұрын
Just turned 25 two weeks ago and boy, it hurt that I am doing a lot of these things, especially wanting to reverse the clock. I am very grateful that you give lessons/information like this freely to lost people like me. It's tough knowing that there's only the present, and the actions done by the present me determines how I will mold the person that will control this body in the future. I will be going back to university and "starting my life" in the next semester, which I guess is getting the car moving in your analogy. No more wishing I could go back in time with my current knowledge, or comparing myself to the other cars driving much faster than me on this road of life. I hope to become dental surgeon, but the future me might change his mind, either way, it's a goal, and a start to something better, much better than getting lost in my own head. Hoping that everyone that watches this video see's it in seven or so years time and see how much they have changed. Good luck everyone.
@EnabiSeira
5 ай бұрын
Avoid failure and you'll never do it. Abandon perfection and you'll do a masterpiece.
@kairostimeYT
5 ай бұрын
How do you guys compress 25 minutes of video into a single sentence?
@EnabiSeira
4 ай бұрын
@@kairostimeYT Leaving a lot behind. I've just compressed the last part. Although, it is a good excersice to summarize videos like this. You have to understand what Dr K says, analyze what suits you and what doesn't, and express it with your own words.
@Perseus-u4g
4 ай бұрын
That makes no sense.
@nackedgrils9302
4 ай бұрын
cringe af, this is wishful thinking.
@HOVNA
4 ай бұрын
@@Perseus-u4g It makes all the sense. You cant play without failing and cant keep going if you seek perfection. Youll be disappointed
@cryterion7770
4 ай бұрын
I hope it isn't arrogant of me to add to what he's saying but I've learned a lot in my own ongoing struggles with this. He mentions that the thinker wants things to be perfect, and when they aren't they hit the gas and don't try again. So, we should open ourselves up to the consequences and potential failures. It's normal to ask "what if I fail?" but something I and a lot of others never consider is "What if I don't fail?" What if you try something and it actually goes super fucking well? What if it's a total success? You will never find that out because you never tried. The thinker avoids failing by never trying, but he also avoids success. It's something I need to keep telling myself.
@sebaschan-uwu
3 ай бұрын
I have the thinker mindset and I have severe anxiety and I am afraid of failure, but I'm not afraid of the possibility of failure, I'm afraid of the likelihood of failure. I don't do anything unless I'm 100% confident I will succeed or be able to handle failure without much issue. If I have to pick something, I choose the option with the lowest chance of failure. The "what if I don't fail" mentality doesn't help because I'd never take a gamble to begin with unless I was totally impartial to the possible outcomes. The problem for me isn't that I'm not thinking positively, it's that I can't deal with failure or bring myself to do things that I need to do even if I have a significant risk of failure.
@seed179
3 ай бұрын
Or more commonly, "what if i fail, but learn something important in the process?
@letsreadtextbook1687
Ай бұрын
It is normal to ask "what if I fail" but at some point yer gonna just "fuck it we ball" and rawdog the experience
@felne7335
5 ай бұрын
Got a lot from this video personally, the start-stop analogy really describes how I try learning new skills, quickly realize the time and effort required is too great, and then I stop and the process starts over again whenever I feel motivated to try learning that skill again. I'm gonna push myself to get past that initial period of struggle and doubt, one thing at a time
@DungeonClimber
5 ай бұрын
It's like he said: just ease your foot onto the accelerator. I started writing fiction four years ago. Writing just 750 words every day, but sticking with it no matter what. I now write around 1800 words every day, it feels easier, and my writing is much better. You got this! You just have to start small and stick with it!
@flowerbloom5782
2 ай бұрын
I think it also is that the effort and time is influenced by our expectations. Remember the person who started slow didn’t make themselves have too much expectations. That’s the problem with thinkers, as soon as they are expectation isn’t going according to reality, it becomes impossible. Not because of reality but our expectations is ridiculous. Setting ourselves up for failure.
@felne7335
2 ай бұрын
update: this is probably because of ADHD lol
@abcdefzhij
4 ай бұрын
When you talked about how the thinkers actually exert way more energy than everyone else -- that was a profound and liberating thing to hear. It makes so much sense and really makes me feel less like there's something wrong with me and more like i actually can succeed if i get things figured out.
@evan12697
5 ай бұрын
the "i'm behind" feeling doesnt really go away when you just can't afford to move out and have no prospects to start a family as you encroach on 30....
@evan12697
5 ай бұрын
yo the breakup one was too real... literally had to do that
@iluxa-4000
4 ай бұрын
You can easily find love and start a family at 30. Well, not easily, it is incredibly difficult to overcome your biases and mental blockades. But trust me - once you do, you will find it is not that hard to get along with someone
@evan12697
4 ай бұрын
@@iluxa-4000 biases and mental blocks aside... It's just hard as hell to meet anyone anymore. Plus I'm just constantly "behind" feeling. Going into my 20s I really thought I was going to be moved out and at least getting serious with someone but I wasted a year trying to make a relationship work and moving out probably won't happen until I have someone to live /with/ since it's nigh impossible to Even make rent on one income nevermind get approved for a mortgage.
@iluxa-4000
4 ай бұрын
@@evan12697 But it is possible. And the feeling of missing out or being behind is entirely in your head. You can't take every single possibility, you can't succeed everywhere, and most importantly - you don't know how much other people suck :D Everyone is only showing their successes, and never talk about how much they struggle in life. I hope you'll find your way out, I really do
@user-th1pv6ks5o
4 ай бұрын
@@evan12697 Yeah, the atomization of society is really hard to deal with. I ended up dropping out of college (twice) because of some poorly timed medical issues I was having and the DIFFERENCE between college, where even if you have never talked to a person before, the familiarity of seeing them, is so much more comforting and non-isolating then, when I dropped out, where if you even get the strength to talk to a stranger at all 9/10 you will NEVER EVER see that person again. Is staggering. I'm not really an extrovert, but just seeing familiar faces wherever you go is really nice,idk. It also made interactions SO MUCH EASIER with people. Again even if the MOST interaction you have ever had with a person is just waiting on the elevator to get to your floor, if you do start talking to them it doesn't really feel like your starting from ground zero because you have kind of made a silent report with them. Where as when your not in that environment you literally are going from never seeing a person your whole entire life to talking. I do think their is a reason why when a lot of people talk about how they found their long term Gf, it always starts with consistently running into them at a shared event until they finally start talking then dating. And that doesn't exist unless your willing to pay a 100$ a month for a gym membership, anymore. And even in places where it does exist people don't really interact with each other, or engage with the space. In college it is the opposite you are their to engage fully with the space, and everyone in the area heavily encourages it. I miss it😞
@_Chessa_
5 ай бұрын
Hey, I’m 30 and this super relates to me as I’m sure it does with many at any age with similar experiences here. I do get angry that I end up daydreaming constantly of doing the action without actually going and doing the action. Projects build up. Anxiety to finished or starting builds up. I loop for comfort by using my imagination to keep me grounded from some intrusive thoughts and imagine myself doing the action. Maladaptive daydreaming isn’t a term yet used for diagnosing or even a disorder but I do like the term and I do relate to it considerably still even as a 30 year old. Honestly my imagination has both healed me with comfort and cursed me with inattentiveness and pausing when doing simple little tasks. Outside to go do gardening, brain does a pause; oops instead let’s just daydream about something else now. I snap out of it and continue my gardening and feel embarrassed. Hours in bed with my thoughts. It’s exhausting and I didn’t even start a task. It’s diagnosed ADD and other generalized anxiety disorder. Having a comforting fictional character to love and supports me but knowing he’s imaginary. That I can live with happily. But just not the daydreaming constantly scenarios after scenarios. Sometimes it doesn’t even make sense when I’m daydreaming of some other world. Like I’ve shifted into a different timeline and realize I’m screwed up in that one as well.
@beatblastdeath
5 ай бұрын
Being a 30 year old I can relate to this. I try not to day dream or create scenarios but it just happens. Trying a lot harder to control those scenarios but ending giving into but this video made me realise that it's not gonna payoff. I need to work towards getting myself propel towards the goal and not think that I'm far behind. This video has really helped me and I hope that you'd also find it helpful and achieve those goals and tasks that you're supposed to.
@BuckScrotumn
4 ай бұрын
Ironically enough I watch these videos to “imagine success” without ever achieving it. I know that I can’t change who I am but watching videos like this and essentially role-playing making progress is better than sitting around doing nothing. It makes me feel like there’s hope even if only for a few seconds of my day.
@undead_6662
4 ай бұрын
Well how I went through with this was essentially playing really hard freaking games, think about completeting it efficiently ..... Finally succeed and slowly apply it irl Of course, I started reading novels first to increase my attention span, that was more important
@YahiyaJasem
4 ай бұрын
It’s a process my friend, take it step by step, one little success by one little success ❤
@RealMusicCloud
4 ай бұрын
The fact that you are able to recognize that is already a big step. You got this man
@zealgaming8161
4 ай бұрын
Take it slow. Go to sleep the same time each day, ditch the unhealthy food, days when your not working, go work out or just take a long walk. Goes a long way. Best however you can do is apply for a job that requires physical labor, that's a paid work out each day. And your forced to go to work, thus leaving you without any choice paralysis. Your body is as much you, as your mind is. Take care of your body, and your mind will improve dramatically. The foundational key to a sound mind is a sound body.
@Astro_retired
Ай бұрын
That sounds extremely sad dude, hope you will actually start changing your life soon, just don't think it's over because you couldn't achive anything up to this point, always try new things whenever you have enough strength, like changing the enviroment you're in and observing how it affected you. You are not alone, brother
@hellsgate1173
5 ай бұрын
Holy crap this is actually me! I've always had this problem where i have an idea that i think sounds good or i would like to do but i could only think about it. It was fun to think about but i would never act on it even if i became frustrated that i wasn't doing anything about it i would always just be stuck. Amongst other things this affects Dr K i think you just helped me crack something thats plagued me for so many years wide open THANK YOU!!
@AutoNamer1
4 ай бұрын
I have this problem too
@Nocturnal_Lorena
5 ай бұрын
I love how you're just being you! ie saying 'are'. It's refreshing!
@beatblastdeath
5 ай бұрын
I can say "aare" and make you feel refreshed everyday. 😉
@BlazeDragonX
4 ай бұрын
@@beatblastdeathWhy do men need to be creepy for no reason? I wish we all could realise that it is a person behind the screen with thoughts and feelings before saying things like that.
@christopherbuchanan3208
5 ай бұрын
Turn 25 into 35, and all of this is my lived experience, to the tee, 100%
@Sh0n0
4 ай бұрын
Turn 35 to 55 and this is me
@herdoman5169
4 ай бұрын
@@Sh0n0 damn thats tough. Im a little early to the thinker stuff i guess at 20
@crypticsou1
3 ай бұрын
@@Sh0n0womp womp
@viktorjaakkola200
2 ай бұрын
as a 25-year old this horrifies me
@Ellefsen97
4 ай бұрын
It’s never too late to start. I started studying right after high school in 2016. It went very well the first year, but my discipline and motivation lost a battle with depression so I started to skip classes and ended up failing all my exams in the 3rd semester. I dropped out and started working in a cardboard factory. The job was very physically demanding and it was mentally challenging to do the same monotonous tasks 8 hours a day. But over time I started enjoying the simplicity of it and as I got better I could see that the veterans started to treat me more as an equal. I felt a sense of mastery and my confidence grew. I started to reflect on my future after 4.5 years of working in the factory. As much as I enjoyed my colleagues, I didn’t want to work there for the rest of my life. So I applied to the same university I dropped out of and started studying again when I was 25. That was 2 years ago and I’m almost done with my bachelors degree in Machine Learning & Software Engineering. Now in hindsight I realize that I was not mentally ready for the responsibilities required for studying at university. But that’s okay. Everyone develops and live at their own pace, and it’s never too late to pursue your goals and dreams
@airongamer
4 ай бұрын
Bachelor’s in machine learning? I thought that was more of a specialisation/major for a master’s degree. Anyways congrats:) I also need to finish school, just have to write that damn thesis
@mikespike2099
2 ай бұрын
Good on ya mate! I too took 3-4 years of work after high school then started college… I really think almost 50-60% of students are at uni straight out of high school because they feel they had too … not because they wanted to!
@Ellefsen97
2 ай бұрын
@@airongamer I’m Norwegian, so our studies are probably different in some ways. The bachelor is essentially Computer Science where I had to choose between 3 specializations
@Ellefsen97
2 ай бұрын
@@mikespike2099 I was definitely one of those that felt like they had to. Everyone else around me went straight to college, so I felt like I had no time to waste. I now tell all the young people I know to consider working for a few years if they aren’t sure what they want to study. It’s better to start 3 years later than dropping out because of a wrong study choice
@simp4741
5 ай бұрын
My main take away is to think new thoughts. Simple but affective
@veo16
3 ай бұрын
This is me. I can entertain myself for an entire 14 hour flight without turning on the in-flight entertainment or opening my phone. Or sit still for long periods of time when waiting for appointments and such. When it comes to work and creating, you can mentally go down several routes of potential outcomes without having to actually take action. Dismiss the options that didn’t produce a favorable outcome and then pursue those that did. Doesn’t need to be a crippling phenomenon in every case. Can be like a superpower instead.
@Marisa-p2k
4 ай бұрын
Thank you. I cant explain it but you have answers to all of the major questions that were left unanswered in my life for the longest time. You have been helping me tremendously
@pan7374
Ай бұрын
This might be the community i need. The only thing im addicted to in life is thinking, and a lot of my friends don’t understand what i mean when i say that. Ive smoked/ate a lot of weed, never been addicted. Start and stop when i want. Vyvanse, same thing I just take it every now and then because my therapist thought I should, but I feel like all it does is fuel my thought addiction. I’m 23, but luckily this didn’t morph from a personality trait into an inhibitor until I was 21 after a bad edible experience so I really just need to commit to breaking the addiction and I should hopefully be okay with moving forward again
@ChrisMayes-od9zn
5 ай бұрын
I'm 25. The part about expectations was correct. I've been lowering them not destroying them. The rest is hit or miss.
@jobistrange1668
4 ай бұрын
6:25 my experience with this is when I switched secondary schools early. I retreated into my head. I went from care free, loving life and unashamed to this cowering shadow of myself. It held me back for so many years but I've taken my life back. I literally started coping with MDD when I switched schools It's sort of good to know this isn't unique to me
@khamsumwangchuk1399
5 ай бұрын
What Dr. K said about demolishing your expectations to start over instead of imagining doing things differently in the past was such a simple fact yet so eye opening. 🙏🙏🙏
@LeVrU_01
5 ай бұрын
Hey Dr K, nice work with this video. I really think this is what I needed, because the problem in this one really described everything I struggle with. Based on my personal expiriences I would add to this meme phrases like: "can't simply go to sleep, gets knocked out when exhaustion is too much" , "can't focus on his actions even at work" or even "thinks he is immune to addictions because he thinks everything is under his control" But after watching your solutions I personally still think that its too little. I feel like I need some sort of action i can practice to fight my overthinking. Simply knowing to not give up on a daily basis will not help people like me in a visible way. Could you expand on that maybe? Thanks for all you do!
@bartosznaswiecie1179
5 ай бұрын
This comment is literally you overthinking
@i11ya20
5 ай бұрын
Man I relate to this too. But I got out of this. Turn out it’s depression. Like I knew it, but I thought it so corny so I haven’t visited a therapist. But lately I did, she prescribed me 3 types of drugs and now I’m actually living g. Like feeling emotion, control my body, do what I want etc. I’m alive. I’ve wrote the comment above, hope more people will see it. But man, please give it a try. I’ve switched 2 therapist to find one that actully cared about my situation, even though during the session she is seem care but not that enthusiastic as I dreamed. But she is just a professional that have read the situation on 100%. So please try it, most importantly don’t loose no hope, that the thing that saved my life.
@johnsherfey3675
5 ай бұрын
@@bartosznaswiecie1179 To a worm a grain is a whole meal, but to a man it's a mear scrap. Everyone has different amounts of stuff they need before understanding comes.
@chuckwagon3718
5 ай бұрын
The action to practice is meditation, and you can do that anywhere.
@DaBogDweller
4 ай бұрын
Personally this Truly resonates with me, had a bad few years and withdrew within myself, been working on clawing my way back out. Great advice as always!
@dkursada
4 ай бұрын
Taking the L for my previous years is way too hard but still, as I lived my whole life stuck in my own head, this became the most helpful piece of content on this platform for me. I watched this in the stream but good thing I decided to watch it from the start. And I didn't pay a single dime for this. I don't feel stuck, I feel weightless
@Wildminecraftwolf
5 ай бұрын
"Cultivate things that create a resolution of thought" is the main takeaway for me.
@kosm518
5 ай бұрын
There has never been more perfect timing for something I have needed in my entire life.
@Wolfgang420blaze
5 ай бұрын
Im 24 and this is a great generalization of my growth. I didn't quite know these habits outright, but i noticed the changes i needed to make subconsciously and started at it. This wraps it all into a very nice perspective
@Ranas-qm8vn
5 ай бұрын
if you started doing this in your teenage years than you're lucky, I'm doing this since i was 4 or 5 years old and my brain is fried, I'm just existing with no brain, no soul, no feelings, no consciousness, no perception about anything. just the body is there.
@luizeduardo1706
5 ай бұрын
I used to do this around 14 y/o when I start question my world/friendship and before this video I was crying on how I'm a stupid human being for not accomplish anything since there and people should avoid me because they will meet a failure.
@zealgaming8161
4 ай бұрын
Well, your body is you. Your bones, your flesh, your blood, your guts. All is you. Time to go feral. Run out, and howl like a wolf as you run until your completely exhausted. The pain will give you meaning.
@SilasNomad
2 ай бұрын
I love the 'infinite money glitch' analogy, it's spot on. I coped with *spicy childhood* by dissociating and imagination, and that just kicked into overdrive when I had a couple of years where I couldn't leave the house by myself. I'm still trying to get back in control, to actually feel connected to my body and surroundings now that it's safe- and I have the courage- to do so. I've also found that the level of disconnection I experience has made it really hard to answer 'what's the point'. Brain LOUD.
@djcardwell
5 ай бұрын
I'm 34 and living in parents basement. Unemployment sucks. Also have a medically complex daughter to support.
@FrancisAAfful
5 ай бұрын
It does suck bro. We feel you. Lets start small on something and grow from there😊
@johnclark7903
5 ай бұрын
universe will be blessing you soon hold on
@djcardwell
5 ай бұрын
@@johnclark7903 thank you
@crisis3739
5 ай бұрын
@@johnclark7903 telling people something like this makes them think their fate isn´t in their own hands. I get the supportive sentiment tho
@johnclark7903
5 ай бұрын
@@crisis3739 i completely agree. Here is what I’ve learned thou, you have free will for things to not go your way, but anytime someone does something amazing or incredible it’s not them it’s god.
@realitycheck4746
5 ай бұрын
So basically, life sucks and you have to lie to yourself to believe it doesn't suck to cope. And then when something little inconvenient happens, its back to square one because living under society other people created caused these problems.
@e.capo1156
4 ай бұрын
Yup
@nihilisticnirvana
4 ай бұрын
I'm only 17. I've also only been in this mindset for the past 1.5 years. Before that, life was good too. Lucky to find this so young! Things are already getting better. And I hope I won't have to struggle with this later.
@PewPewShootEmUp
4 ай бұрын
Definitely work on it now while you're kinda forced to interact. When ur older it becomes to easy to avoid ppl and its damaged a lot for me
@varnishyourboard
5 ай бұрын
Just started a new job in my forties yesterday working way more hours for less pay (but importantly more "status"). One of the poitives is that I'll simply be too busy to constantly think about my underachievent in life. I'm really anxious about such a big change but I'm optimistic that even though I'm “way behind in life", things can still get better.
@spartan5536
4 ай бұрын
This video... changed my life. Wow. This is exactly the problem i've been dealing with that I haven't been able to really diagnose and resolve myself. THANK YOU
@bcillus
3 ай бұрын
it feels so gratifying when dr k explains in much clearer sense what I think I'm doing wrong with everything I do. I know I do a bunch of this stuff but I cant get pass the thinking stage of how to get past it. I always just get stuck in the awareness part and its always so funny how the answer always just boils down to just live.
@baby_buddha3304
4 ай бұрын
Thank you, im 20 years old with the same exact mindset. I didn't realise that other people were going through the same thing. I will improve my life now. Thank you so much.
@0verPar
4 ай бұрын
I spent my life up until about 29 doing this. I told myself again and again that I'd missed the boat and didn't put myself out there simply because of that. I started with casual walking/coffee dates, almost speaking to girls as friends, then after I was used to that moved to more night time/drinks dates, and from there it all just snowballed really easily. Now I've been seeing this gorgeous girl for 3 months. It all happened so fast and really just came down to just doing and not overthinking about it
@vladydaddy9116
4 ай бұрын
I didn't watch the video but we would call this "leave your comfort zone"
@d4mephisto
4 ай бұрын
Hmm. This video made me think, "I need to stop thinking so much." Love your videos Dr. K. Thank you!
@Rishu-c2t
5 ай бұрын
1) don't quit = STOP SLAMMING ON GAS AND THEN ON BREAKS 2) Its gonna be a ROUGH ROAD 3) START EXPERIENCING = practice really= see the gap btw imagination and reality, TAKE REAL DATA INPUTS 4) you don't need to live up to expectations = you should demolish them 5) START OVER AGAIN does not mean going back into time, it means to demolish the big castles and actually starting living life 6) Pain of the world is not the way that world is, pain of the world is your imagination about what the world should be and reality what the world is = SEE IT AS IT IS 7) the things that we think are solutions to our problems does actually opposite, it propagates them = THOUGHTS that lead to more line of thoughts is wrong kind of thinking = cultivate RESOLUTION OF THOUGHT ---------TRY SOME THINGS, take real inputs 8) Anytime mind is unwilling to accept the consequences, it ll keep us paralyzed = ACCEPTANCE to consequences
@biteofdog
5 ай бұрын
Excellent, thank you for breaking it down like notes.
@opossumboyo
4 ай бұрын
Had a plan for my life from 2020-late last year, was excited to take on the world. A few major setbacks (long-term relationships ended, poor career decisions, family health) and now i’m pretty much in this exact category. I genuinely do not see myself doing much of anything with my life at this point; I have a stable job and a place to stay (in a rural town with nothing to do, to be fair) but I have too many responsibilities to move on now and there is little point in wasting money on school, even if I could. Plus, every one of my friends I met in college are now thousands of miles away, never mind the fact that I lost contact with all of them when I was struggling last year. I’m not “depressed” anymore, but I don’t think there is much more to do after this. I feel like i’m 75 years old, yet I turned 25 a week ago. Wish i’d have kept the momentum and just crashed at the end, would have been more pleasant than this.
@Blakoss
4 ай бұрын
Your reality is what you make it. You may have responsibilities but i doubt those responsibilities are so massive that they paralyse you into living the same day after day. You obviously want change so start making it happen now
@matussatek6006
3 ай бұрын
We have the same story - mine had addiction added to it. I succeeded breaking the habit and now like - what point is there in any of this bs?
@jasonkrac2019
5 ай бұрын
Dude , you nailed it! Now my favorite YT channel!
@Nekotamer
5 ай бұрын
the '' if i only knew '' refers to some situations that if you knew how to handle them at the time, the course of your life would be different in this moment. my dear sensei....
@hideousharold4442
4 ай бұрын
oof, i‘m a 25 year old thinker
@mathius_dragoon532
5 ай бұрын
For me, the reason I stay in my head is that reality is often disappointing. Every time I put myself out there I've had bad experiences. Every time it gets harder to convince myself that it's worth it. Pushing on when every previous experience has failed just seems like I am disingenuous to my own lived experiences.
@triarii9257
4 ай бұрын
13:58 for you my friend. Edit: that's life. You play video games? How many times do you have to play something before becoming decent? But games feel good so it's not as punishing when you fail. Real life events HURT. Godamn they hurt. Your issue isn't how do I succeed, it's how do I ignore the failures?
@mathius_dragoon532
4 ай бұрын
@@triarii9257 The problem is becoming numb to repeated failure is not the same thing as succeeding. And if I do eventually achieve what I set out to do and become a jaded burned out wreck of a human being in the process was it really worth it? I don't have an issue with things being difficult, I have an issue with my results not being proportional to my efforts.
@triarii9257
4 ай бұрын
@@mathius_dragoon532 yes, seeing your efforts not result in proportional rewards is one of the worst aspects of modern life. Video games and other media has been predatorial on this and made it worse for us all. The cruel cold thing to say would be "tough shit, you crying because you don't have 6 pack abs after doing situps for a month? It takes 3 years, boy." (Replace abs with whatever your goal is) And that ain't factually wrong but I've been there in the pits where it felt like nothing I did mattered, there was no visible progress, and just existing was painful. The problem with all those masculine self-help alpha energy videos is that they don't address how much it hurts to drag yourself through barbed wires over and over, look down, and see you only moved a centimeter, if at all. Hell, sometimes it feels like you moved backwards. Personally, I have found the trick to be faith. Blind faith and stop looking down. But this is hard when you're a toxic thinker (like the video references) and you're extra sensitive to failure like me, and I believe, like you as well. Also, heads up, the perspective of "I put in X so I should get Y" is a very toxic entitled mentality. I'm not disregarding the pain you feel upon failure, but in no other field in nature is this true. A cat could spend days hunting for a mouse only to lose track of the mouse. An elephant could spend days looking for water only to die of dehydration. There needs to be a change from "I deserve that mouse, I chased it for 3 days, I deserve that meal" To "I CAN get that mouse. If I don't, I'll get another one. I don't care what I need to do, I WILL get A mouse. Because I believe. Because other people got that mouse. And if they can get it, so can I. And because I have no choice. I hate not having a mouse to eat." Anyways, without continuing that analogy, I hope you get my point. From an outside perspective, this is the perspective shift you need to keep moving. But if you don't, that's fine. I've been there, and I know everyone needs to do things in their own way and their own time. But the one emotional catalyst that gets everyone sooner or later is the realization that they don't have a choice. Life is a fucking saw game, I swear. So, hey, based on what you're writing, I feel you. And I don't think any less of you no matter how quickly or slowly you grow. I'm just going to be one random anon on the Internet rooting for you. Because I'm here too, dealing with repetitive failure, seeing myself move backwards more than forwards at times. But I don't have a choice because the only thing I hate more than the pain of change is where I am now. But that's not always true and I often relapse into my old bad habits. Tough shit for me too, eh?
@tonythetwitch5813
4 ай бұрын
@@triarii9257 personally I've given up id much rather be in my head than in cruel reality
@Evav3n
3 күн бұрын
True. Life is more often than not incredibly dissapointing and even when it's kinda decent, some r-rated idiot will come to crap on it.
@TheAngryFapper
4 ай бұрын
18:30 This is my main issue in life. Im 27 right now, I dropped out of college when I was around 22 to pursue life in the USA because my parents made me move to the Middle east with them as soon as I graduated High school. I cant hold a job, and the only job I can get that pay a decent wage ($18+ for me) is one where im surrounded by felons and functional addicts. My family in the middle east are millionaires and im here in the USA just barely scraping by. Half the time I dont have a job and my landlord is nice enough to give me a break on rent during these times. My mom divorces my dad, moves to america 2 years ago, gets a job at kroger and is always telling me I was right and how life in the USA is so much harder. She marries a rich guy here in the USA and is back to telling me to "just get a better paying job" and essentially stop being a loser. My brother dropped out of college at the same time as me, but he stayed in the middle east to work at a 5 star airline as a flight attendant. He moves to the USA 2 years ago and got a job at Kroger just like my mom. He sympathised with me during this time about how life in the USA is tough and dangerous compared to the middle east (shocking, I know). Then he gets a big break and gets a job with an airliner as a flight attendant here because of his previous experience, and is also singing the same tune as my mom, "just get a better job, stop being a loser". Ive been here for 7 years and have accomplished nothing except fill up my resume with labor jobs that i only held for less than a year with a minimum of 4 month gaps between each job. My last job, my highest paying one at $5,000 a month ended as is was a contract job and my family believes I was fired for some reason and thinks "the project completed" is a lie. They dont want to help me financially because they believe im a drug addict despite never being one and showing absolutely ZERO signs of being one. Driving a 50 year old rust bucket, living rent free with a redneck, not having a job most of the time somehow makes them think im a drug addict, rather than mentally ill and needing help.
@TheAngryFapper
4 ай бұрын
I went on a ramble without even getting to my point. My point was that im 27, and my life is passing me by while everyone else seemingly has a helping hand around every corner to help them advance. I guess I just need to be grateful about my helping hand being my roommate not forcing me to be homeless though. These days I rarely ever hear about people my age working hard and getting ahead to buy that house or new 2024 model car. Its always "Oh my parents/grandparents bought me it". Its extremely demoralizing because I see being buying new houses and cars and I just want to be financially stable enough to be like that, only to find that it was just given to them.
@virajbagade69
Ай бұрын
Hay I am that 22 year old and when you said you have levelled up that imagination capabilities in your mind I really felt that I am over creative and I can think of many think others can't even imagine and this helped me in my career as well when it comes to suggesting ideas when it comes to thinking of a unthinkable thing, but it also has dark side Like I have one project in my mind which I wanted to do for past 6 months and I imagine it being successful and people appreciating it but I haven't worked on it for even 2 hours!
@raphaelalavi9385
5 ай бұрын
Dr. K : do something and get data to get a resolution.” Me: >Attempts to do something >makes a fool out of myself >start thinking about how badly I fucked up and what I should’ve done
@HeliosRS
5 ай бұрын
This isn't a bad response in and of itself You just need to continue with new data in hand Be fucking ballsy, go for it
@3van660
5 ай бұрын
Maybe the problem lies in how you react to having been made a fool of
@raphaelalavi9385
5 ай бұрын
@@3van660 I don’t know how I’m even supposed to react. Am I supposed to enjoy looking like a jackass and becoming someone’s inside joke and gossip for their friend group for the rest of the year or do I just keep quiet and look like an autistic incel the whole time and also be made into a joke.
@lilowhitney8614
5 ай бұрын
You have to make the mistakes that you end up learning from sooner or later. There's no way to avoid them, just delay them and make them worse to experience. It's not about being grateful for looking stupid, it's about getting that part over and done with.
@3van660
5 ай бұрын
@@raphaelalavi9385 Learn to be fine with people gossiping about you behind your back. It's hard and takes time but the sooner you do the sooner you'll be happy
@pizzabird6831
4 ай бұрын
Im 25 now and 2 years ago i literally did wake up and make a hard right turn at 65 mph and ended up upside down out front of my job
@MimouFirst
5 ай бұрын
If I catch myself thinking: oh if I did this and that then I would be happier. I think: or I might have died in an accident. The reality is that I might have. We don't know. It might have been worse.
@ZombakTV
5 ай бұрын
I am like extremely good at managing speeds and gas loss of cars (shockingly even for my 30+ years driver father) and as well bad at living life. So when you started gas-brakes analogy It just blew my mind with insights. Truly love your content, Dr. K. Wish, some day I and everyone you try to help will manage the life things, great thanks for everything you do for us.
@kyleweger4380
3 ай бұрын
This is so wild, just yesterday I was struggling with getting myself to sit down and finish my schoolwork for the week. I asked myself, why am I not doing my homework when I expressly need to do it and I know the deadline is today? I thought back to what motivated me to step back into college, and realized that all it took was one tiny step and then it snowballed from there. The motivation to do my HW all along was by thought resolution. I started cleaning my room, as that seemed like the less daunting task. By the time I finished cleaning my room I was actually excited for the feeling of resolving the next thought.
@klaytonmayeaux8966
2 ай бұрын
I had a near death event happen months before I turned 25. For me, it was different for that reason. I felt I had went through a 'reset' from my old ways or else I would likely die. I did feel that was the first time I was trying to truly grow up while being super anxious & chaotic about it. It sucked for me because the people I was around embraced chaos & toxic behaviors as "That's life. It is what it is. Suck it up, accept it, and deal with it!" in a sense of powerlessness. It was the first time I was taking a stand, lifting the middle finger, and demanding my life change for the better. A decade later at 35, I made huge life progress & doing better than I EVER thought I would do in my life! I still got more healing & rebuilding to go but glad I made those changes when I did!
@Littlefighter1911
5 ай бұрын
26:20 First time I got rejected, was such a relief, I felt like the world is opened to me.
@DanielSMV805
5 ай бұрын
Hell yeah brother I'm proud of you 🫡
@Tified967
5 ай бұрын
Yup I've been rejected 8 times for what's called a band 6 position in my profession but got 1 on the 8th. I felt like giving up in fact I did for periods but stagnation irrefutably felt worse.
@SukhrajB
4 ай бұрын
im 34 and still doing these things. i will try the less thinking and more doing
@michaelhord
3 ай бұрын
Dear 25 year old thinker. I was once you. I thought I had to go to college or I wasn't anybody. Let me tell you how this works out. Learn a trade. Plumbing can be nasty at times but mostly not and you can make more money on the side than you will at a 40 hour job at a plumbing company. You will have to work both jobs though but you will be rolling in money. Second choice, Hvac which is heating and air. Easy work with a little more thinking and some selling. Third choice, Pipe fitter, which is plumber without any shit EVER. But you will be welding and working hard but making shit tons of money. 4th choice, Carpenter or painter. The money isn't great but the job is not really hard. 5th choice, truck driver: It sucks and the money isn't great. 6th choice, car salesman. This is something that you are either great at or you suck so bad that your career will be over with in 3 months. If you are smart you can do any of these jobs and you don't have to be really smart. You will be doing pretty well in 2-3 years. If you arent as smart as you think you are, you will know it very quickly. If you can do any of the above jobs, you will have more money than your college graduate friends from high school. You are not behind, you just took your time. Life is harder than you think. Much harder but you can do it . The hardest part of you life will be getting up at 4:30 am in order to get to work at 6 am and using plastic box shitters (portolets, always bring your own toilet paper). Also there is a difference between college grad life and trade life. You will make many new friends, life long friends that will help you out and help you to feel better. Tradesmen, especially unionized men will give you a sense of brotherhood that college never could.
@AndrasBuzas1908
2 ай бұрын
and what if you want to be a scientist? Or an engineer? Give up on that and flood the market with tradespeople like the evil tech grads did with their market (it's an awful job btw all programmers I know are smug and lazy).
@michaelhord
2 ай бұрын
@@AndrasBuzas1908 Scientists aren't thinkers. They like to be told what to do. College is about proving that you can be shit tested and more often than not do exactly as you are told . Non conformists aren't good at that. A thinker could be a good car salesman. Being particularly knowledgeable about what you are selling makes a big difference. I would suggest paralegal school or EMT school. Though both are lousy jobs but teach you things that are very useful and can lead to other related jobs.
@AndrasBuzas1908
2 ай бұрын
@@michaelhord oh okay then, since engineering and science doesn't explore anything or involve problem solving, let's just not do it. Brilliant :)
@michaelhord
2 ай бұрын
@@AndrasBuzas1908 Engineering , Medicine and law are pretty much owned by the top achievers. If you are 25, you are way too late in the game. If you want to go white collar, bankruptcy attorney is easy money. You don't even have to pass the bar exam. And your paralegal will do 90% of the work.
@CodyPease
Ай бұрын
I'll keep that in mind.
@potatobeans4419
5 ай бұрын
Dr. K, it is quite scary how ur content is aligning with my current problems
@Just_B0red
5 ай бұрын
While most is correct and being inside your head 24/7 is the worst thing you can do, there are few things that are bit iffy. - You can't undo some decisions that affected your life in long run - As for dating, majority of people will look at you like you are cripple if you never had any type of relationship in your teens/20s. - You "can" start living life again after 25, but it is a lot different when you have to sacrifice 1/3 or 1/2 of the day working, and having to finance everything by yourself.
@litjellyfish
5 ай бұрын
So… what are the alternative. To not live your life? Jump of a cliff? Most people are iffy. They just hide it :) And as said some stuff you have done can’t be undone. great! So then we do not need to think or ponder that anymore as it’s outside our control and we can focus on living instead. Some will look at you but not all. Because guess what. Not all have had those relationships. Often again they are good at hiding it. And if it’s really risk. When fake it until you make. Do stuff and talk with people about that instead. And say you don’t want to focus on relationships arm.
@merkuree
5 ай бұрын
I disagree with that second point to be honest. I would argue that it's likely your own insecurities regarding your lack of relationships that are clouding your judgement here, and if your own perception of your lack of relationships in your teens/20s is that it's bad somehow or makes you deficient in some way, then your own bitterness about the situation is what people see and thereby is what holds you back. People can tell if you're bitter about it if it comes up in conversation and you deflect responsibility for it, or blame some other factor etc. People will note your response to the fact that you've not had a relationship and will adapt accordingly. Who would you rather approach with a conversation about relationships: the guy who is angry and bitter about never having one, or the guy who hasn't had one because he hasn't been looking?
@Just_B0red
5 ай бұрын
@@merkuree Different countries and different cultures I guess. I am well aware of what you said, and it does make sense in some places, however where I am from they will look at you like you are legit freak if you lets say never had any sort of relationship by time you are done with uni.
@merkuree
5 ай бұрын
@@Just_B0red I maintain that you're overthinking it, still. Your response to their reaction to hearing that news is what determines the effect it has. You may not be able to control their reactions, but you do get to affect the outcome and how it affects you.
@tonythetwitch5813
4 ай бұрын
@@merkureeI disagree I'm only 5'6 and a man women just don't want that and the ones that do are far and in between would much rather live In my head where things can go well
@Werksonek
Ай бұрын
I finally did not expect things to be like in my head, I kinda tried to expect as little as I could've and I just showed up with my charm at an event. It turned out to be an experience I'd not even imagine since it seemed absurd, like in a movie. And these funny reactions of yours regarding cute person and being cool in the social situation in some way, could apply to how my experience was without high expectations. It takes my conscious effort to sorta downplay these delusional urges as they come up. It's painful but less than the unmet expectations. But I gave up on vivid imagery in my teenage years since it always has led to unbelievable suffering because of disappointment and the gap between this world and the one of reality. What sticked with me as a trauma response is making scripts - planning the general idea of how a conversation or events will go, but it often leads to anger when someone doesn't act like in my head and to people not feeling good enough in my company sometimes, so I lessen these coping mechanisms as I grow and develop myself anew. Sometimes I wonder whether I miss on something by focusing so much on the present moment and reality, just not letting these beautiful visual images flowing through my head at least once in a while. Because I think that the internal world is also in need of being nourished. But as I write this down, I realise it's exactly as you said - I'm connected to moments of true happiness when there's a connection between the real and tangible external experience and being one with oneself, internally, not intellectually - by FEELING myself. It took years of therapy and your (not only) content to be able to feel that even for a couple of minutes haha. Thank you for all that you do. Sending much love.
@SpookmeisterGhosty
4 ай бұрын
You may have just saved my life. I'm only 23, but I've been dealing with this problem for a very long time. Your insight has helped me realize things that I think I can use to finally help myself. Never seen your channel before, but when this show up in my recommended feed I felt a bit blessed. So thank you.
@Radahntheconqueror
5 ай бұрын
This dude is HILARIOUS! cheers🍻
@Deonjayyyy
4 ай бұрын
I’m 20 years old right now and is dealing with these exact symptoms right now, and everyone has resented me for it so I’m going to study this idea
@RicardoGarcia-uo8mo
Ай бұрын
I'm 18 years old, turning 19 in a few days. I was always incredibly astute and clever in school, but when it came to taking action under my own authority, I've always struggled with keeping my ideas in my own head. This has been my issue since I have been 15, and I built the habit of living in my head ever since I was 5. Because of this issue I've ended up homeless and addicted to drugs, ever since 16. Becoming homeless a year ago made me realize what I'm truly capable as I landed two jobs and became the best employee within 5 days of being on my own. I've been taking care of my own without parents. I sobered up for a minute but quickly slipped back into my old ways when things got a little better. I'm progressing toward sobriety now and really glad that I have seen this video before it's too late.
@isaiahv5794
4 ай бұрын
I had to keep rewinding because I was day dreaming
@laseva8485
2 ай бұрын
Broooo, you are the best youtube blogger and psycologist/psychiatrist I've known. Thank you for your knowledge, existence and empathy! You are like me, I feel everything you say and I want to trust you! I don't trust to the almost all youtubest because I feel dishonesty in them, pursuing of money. But you are another. You are a diamond. I'm 23 y.o thinker and the information in this clip was invaluable.
@newestvocalist3168
4 ай бұрын
i think. exactly like this at 19 with my full time job. never worked physical labor while doing full time college but these experiences and opportunities are really helping me get out of my insecurities.
@wastingtime6211
4 ай бұрын
I 100% felt this after finishing college @ 23. I felt like a failure because I wasnt perfect. Though i got the good job and degree, I was fat, living at home, and my friends were either settling down with long term relationships or content with just being online. I was hitting the gym and just getting out there by myself in public being extremely uncomfortable trying to meet girls. I remember meeting my first girl post college and I felt so old at 24.. but i kept fighting at it and I found what i was looking for before 25. 25 now and I get upset that my health is subpar, and its hard to feel young because of it. But i strive to improve it and i get worth out of my life trying to actually do things. I accept im nothing special. That took me a few years. I think everyone grows up thinking theyre extraordinary, I had to accept Im good at some things and mostly mid or awful at most other things. Its the life Ive been dealt and how I can keep fighting, even if my body makes me feel shit sometimes
@DeadAir
4 ай бұрын
“If at first you don’t succeed, change your expectations”
@Drawfill
4 ай бұрын
I'm the complete opposite on that spectrum. I love failure. it sets you up for success. I'll fail at stuff intentionally sometimes though because the next thing is gonna be the best... but when do you stop chasing? you know? 😅
@theTerratronic
5 ай бұрын
I relate to almost all the points on the meme except: I’m hyper-vigilant (except perhaps interoceptively), I never had any imaginary 'boyfriends' (is this common?), and I do have a general interest in career. I really appreciate your point about anxiety providing the mind a lot of energy. That reinforces the need for meditation and purposeful relaxing. My favorite point was about the combination of thought and experience. Experience seems to be the only thing effectively reaching the trauma stored in body. Years of cognitive work has only made a dent in my idle state of being. Demolish my expectations? Resolution? Now there's a point of interest. Thank you, Dr. K. I don't game anymore but I'm still a hermit in my room; watching KZitem for entertainment and researching various things. Occasionally working on apps for college.
@2smart2die
20 күн бұрын
It hurts a bit seeing this at 30 and being so deep into my thinking that I paused the video at the beginning and imagined what life would be like if i finished watching it. Thank you for the wakeup call Dr.
@nackedgrils9302
4 ай бұрын
Never have I ever felt more called out than by this video. I'm still stuck with this problem at 33 and I don't believe it can be fixed, I'm always in my head and there is less and less stimuli coming through as I age, I'm not interested in anything anymore, I just wish for silence and some free time. On a day when I don't work, I can easily spend 6 hours doing nothing but thinking but I'm also doing it when I do other stuff or when I'm talking to people, I just can't turn it off and I'm scared shitless to try living, I'd much rather die.
@misheeltsogbadrakh3413
5 ай бұрын
Lfg. I actually was at this stream😎
@nostradamus1165
5 ай бұрын
Same 😎
@bjwkusgxjdks
5 ай бұрын
What a life accomplishment
@Kiwipai
4 ай бұрын
I feel like starting this spiral pretty early was what made me able to break it by myself. Around 20 years was when I managed to see that I always regretted not pursuing stuff because it was "to late", and just by observing my own data it seems obvious that it would continue being the case all the way to the grave.
@f86tune48
5 ай бұрын
Shit I feel so called out
@jordanharris2314
Ай бұрын
I'm a 29 year old who has been using his anxiety as a crutch since College and can see a lot of this stuff in the past me. Although the last couple of years I've made a few steps towards actually making something out of my life I've been hitting this mental wall and couldn't overcome it and I think Dr. K just offered the perfect solution for me. The last point of this video, not doing something based on an imaginary perfect outcome and not accepting the potential consequences has been holding me back from taking the next steps and has probably been the root of all my anxiety I've had this whole time. This video might actually change my life Here's hoping
@avinashkukreja6198
4 ай бұрын
My whole life was a lie
@trollingisasport
5 ай бұрын
Ah I remember going through the 25 phase. The doc is dead on here. Learning how to abandon thought and embrace flow changed my life forever. Learn abductive thinking too as he touches on towards the end.
@lennartherun4447
3 ай бұрын
What also really helped me was realizing that what happens in reality is more desirable than your imagination. If you achieve what you imagined in your mind, the thrill is very short lived because you already experienced it in your mind for a long time. If something unexpected but positive happens in reality, we tend to be disappointed that it didnt went how it was supposed to, but that can actually be a much more beautiful experience because it is something new. For example, if you look for sexual attention from women (as much women as possible, right?) but instead what you find are a real connection or new friendships, or a new inner peace - this is actually well more worthwhile and fullfilling.
@agapitoliria
5 ай бұрын
Oh wow this one is spot on, after all these years I didn't think you would say something that resonated with me so much anymore.
@MsXbomb
4 ай бұрын
"Think for a second." That's literally what got me into this mess.
@bruno444
Ай бұрын
I guess it was a lot more seconds for you after this. But being serious, I derailed myself by thinking instead of doing around a year ago, when I was abroad, and didn't force myself to do things. Unrelated to this video, my thinking cycles have finally allowed me to come to a similar conclusion on my own as in this video, but it took a miserable one year. On the other hand things are getting real again!
@WhoTookAllTheGoodNames
4 ай бұрын
ughh i been watching dr k on and off for years and im 29, this shit still hits home, and today i got some pretty shitty news {failed a drug test i tried to beat for a job, twice} i hate how im letting weed ruin my life. i screenshotted the message and made it my wallpaper, im gonna get clean, IM GONNA GET BETTER. im just gonna keep trying, so tired of being my own worst enemy.
@trevorhunka8985
5 ай бұрын
Trying to convince us you aren’t Lisan al Gaib. Nice try.
@doomz5670
3 ай бұрын
holy shit, thank you so mutch i've been in that state for far too long now and never knew what was wrong with me. i dont know if i will get better or overcome this shit but i will try my best to get things done. again thank you
@benmajkut618
4 ай бұрын
I used to have a lot of these problems when I was younger. Now that I’ve got my mind under control I’m a lot happier, but still this video is super useful and has a lot of wisdom. I still work hard to be mentally healthy. It’s kinda like being obese and then after losing the weight you still workout and diet because you understand just how important they really are
@viktorvolkov49
2 ай бұрын
The worst part is that for me I imagine failure so I don't even try, at least when it comes to dating. But when I can imagine success I usually work to get there in reality (even if very slowly)
@vinnie3vices
4 ай бұрын
Been an overthinker since 18 to 25, got heavily into philosophy and psychology, went far down the rabbit hole with psychedelics, been reading, thinking, and debating a lot, and while I learnt a lot my advice to y'all is just take action, live life and collect experiences. Life will teach you regardless
@makavelii_ix9324
3 ай бұрын
Dr.K Thank you for everything you do, every now and then i click on one of your videos and its like a piece of the puzzle clicks, i haven't been able to control my mind for so long and watching something like this makes me find relief, you hit the nail on the head with this one!!
@TheRocketman136
5 ай бұрын
Settle and play by the rules. Can't win in this game othewise. Well, no shit. Any answers as to why the given rules are absolute and the game is worth playing?
@benthomas9776
3 ай бұрын
The rules might not be absolute. They might be completely arbitrary. But most rules like that take a lot of collective effort to challenge successfully. Most of the time it's easier in the long run to accept what we can't change and do the best we can with what we have. As for whether or not the game is worth playing, that's up to us as individuals to decide.
@mynthis
4 ай бұрын
We are our own underground class that needs therapy(and I’m assuming most don’t) , this video really opened my eyes, thank you
@ion4ik2008
2 ай бұрын
19:30 It was exactly like this that I stopped seeing the point in everything altogether. What difference does it make if things don't turn out the way I imagine them, and it's always worse instead. Now, I'm only prepared for the worst. Of course, a fat, stinky butt will sit next to me on the subway. Naturally, the last bus will leave right in front of my face. Of course, the people walking ahead, glued to their phones, will move veeeeeery slowly and right in the middle, making it impossible to overtake them. Naturally, another Karen will decide that her child needs to fly next to me on the plane and scream all day long. Of course, prices will only go up, but real wages won't. Naturally, in a couple more years, a new disease will emerge and there will be another crisis. But overall, I no longer believe anyone and expect nothing. I used to have fantasies at least... But now I have the 'REAL WORLD' with the REAL necessity to work all my life, solve problems, and constantly treat one ailment after another. A BIG THANK YOU GOD\NATURE\MA|PA FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY.
@ion4ik2008
2 ай бұрын
I used to think it was all because I was a loser without a job, living at my mom's house. But now I have a job, my own home, a woman, a cat, a puppy. And I swear to God, I hate every day of my life. When I sit at 8 AM with one sock in my hand, staring at the wall and feeling nauseous, realizing that I have to sit and stare at this wall for another 20-30 years or until I finally die, honestly, I start to miss the times when I lived with my mom and could play video games all day long. Yes, I suffered from 'depression' or something because of it, but at least there was time to do what I liked. Now I just work all day and by the end of the day, I have no energy or desires left for myself. So much for stepping out of your comfort zone - get a job and a bunch of responsibilities. At least everyone around you will stop judging you. They'll start judging you for other things instead, because no matter how much you do, it's never enough for everyone around.
@ShinChara
5 ай бұрын
Nobody in the world has ever lost a game of Minecraft.
@weksauce
3 ай бұрын
re: coasting YES. This is so true. Quit slamming on the brakes, and enjoy progress.
@lovehilaryanne
Ай бұрын
When he said "When your mind is unwilling to accept the consequences of your actions" my brain lit up. It's control. It's controlling my life that I'm doing and trying to warp reality instead of living in it.
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