Humans: the interstellar version of that crackhead stealing copper wire.
@BushWookie666
7 ай бұрын
"You wouldn't happen to have the enemy's communicator?" Humans: "Already sent it"
@ArgonianSkaleel
7 ай бұрын
wait until aliens see Lord Of War. Or MacGyver.
@dalemorgan8263
7 ай бұрын
Humans: "I see where you're going with this and I love it. No charge."
@larrythompson8630
7 ай бұрын
Hope they decontaminate it before bringing it aboard.
@williamcastro3017
7 ай бұрын
You are friends we like You! 😁
@jgkitarel
7 ай бұрын
Also Humans: "They still haven't figured out how we compromised their network a decade ago, and we are still spamming them with porn, memes, Rick Rolls, and the occasional malware."
@ServantOfOdin
7 ай бұрын
To quote from DBZA: "What do you call a group of humans?" "An infestation"
@theamiralgarner
5 ай бұрын
Mister popo pecking order :)
@Vorcupine
5 ай бұрын
Dragonball Mentioned, like earned.
@Ackalan
7 ай бұрын
I love this story, it's a sweet tale of two beings repulsed by each other on an instinctual level, united by their common goal of murdering someone else.
@RyanWilliams-sq8fg
6 ай бұрын
And the MUFF,! can't forget the MUFF!......
@Ackalan
6 ай бұрын
@@RyanWilliams-sq8fg By the fluffy bean, I almost forgot!
@vladyvhv9579
Ай бұрын
"The enemy of my enemy is my friend"...
@kennetth1389
7 ай бұрын
Love it. Deathworld has been used to death. But now we have VERMINWORLD!
@moteroargentino7944
7 ай бұрын
As they said, there are fates worse than death. A deathworld will kill you. A verminworld will make you wish you were dead...
@Naymy
7 ай бұрын
If we are not a Class 12 Deathworld, or Class 2 Ghost World or now, a Verminworld, then, something is very wrong in the Universe.
@lolHyperactive
6 ай бұрын
beware of the vermintide xD
@stradorious4467
6 ай бұрын
Yes-yes
@torg2126
6 ай бұрын
They're not mutually exclusive, I mean, look at what happens when you introduce Australian predators anywhere else.
@0neTwo3
7 ай бұрын
LOVED the colorful language of this story!! An AI “reader” would have completely muffed this one up. Good on ya for keeping it literally real !
@andrewcastro9758
7 ай бұрын
This man needs to do voice acting for Audiobooks.
@TheMjollnir67
7 ай бұрын
Absolutely!
@Inufan2005
7 ай бұрын
I was of the opinion that when Dungeon Life got published they should've just used Agro's recordings.
@johnnycampbell3422
7 ай бұрын
I honestly thought that is what he is doing. But aggred, I wish Agro the best and as much voice acting work as he wants.
@Toxked
7 ай бұрын
He is very good, engaging, easy to follow. There are other channels that do this. But they aren't as interesting to listen to. Some even have the same stories.
@johnnycampbell3422
7 ай бұрын
@Inufan2005 agreed. I haven't heard the commercial version, but I don't see how it could be any better than what Agro did.
@theshadyprotector8412
7 ай бұрын
Humanity is like a fungus. We grow on you.
@rhoydplaz2853
6 ай бұрын
Literally
@Luredreier
6 ай бұрын
Yes, we do indeed.
@derekdrake8706
7 ай бұрын
It actually makes sense that expressions like smiling would be incredibly disturbing to aliens, just as theirs would be to us.
@waldo2543
5 ай бұрын
Even dogs dont like our smiles initially but they do learn to tolerate them as they get to know their humans, showing teeth = aggression and all that.
@gretholondeporey8527
7 ай бұрын
May the moist sweet Muff be praised!
@Ryvaken
6 ай бұрын
Someone had fun writing that.
@dantupper1784
7 ай бұрын
If this was a novel, pretty sure humans and dralurians are going to end up getting along just fine....
@overlordmagnatron
7 ай бұрын
Last summer I asked my neighbor if he had bathed recently and it immediately started a fist fight. I have to admit I only asked that question because the stench coming off him was even making my eye's water.
@mystikmind2005
7 ай бұрын
well, the type of unbathed person who easily starts a fist fight will typically be of both limited means and limited intelligence, not a star ship captain.
@overlordmagnatron
7 ай бұрын
@@mystikmind2005 My neighbor is indeed not a star ship captain. He captains a larger salvage vessel, and every fiber of my being wishes I was lying to you here. As limited as his intellect and means may be, he makes up for it by who he knows. And somehow he has managed to not sink the ship for over a decade now.
@mystikmind2005
7 ай бұрын
@@overlordmagnatron Your saying he has a tow truck?? well that explains being quick to get in a punch up,,, i mean, being aggressive is practically a requirement of the job if you want to be successful at it. You might want to think about moving house, or buying a bullet proof vest!
@overlordmagnatron
7 ай бұрын
@@mystikmind2005 Not a tow truck, a real ship its nearly 150 feet (45 meters) in length and is used mostly for recovering and salvaging sunk boats and ships. I think they are out decommissioning an old oil rig at the moment.
@staticbuilds7613
7 ай бұрын
His punches come with poison damage
@lupaswolfshead9971
7 ай бұрын
oh jeez there is even a spacehulk this is absolutely hilarious
@homoerectus6953
7 ай бұрын
"themselves and there scabby planet" - Classic Earth
@urbypilot2136
5 ай бұрын
Proof is the fact that the Rock practicqlly has an entire menagerie in its bridge
@danielleriley2796
7 ай бұрын
I like it. The busted ship captain was smart enough to put two and two together when the humans had one of their transmitters to ask for one from their enemy…
@syvajarvi2289
7 ай бұрын
That was hilarious😂😂😂. For the writer, for the squirrel, and for the algorithm.
@keithmays8076
6 ай бұрын
And For The Great Muff!😂
@aaronerror6819
7 ай бұрын
I do believe this is a fresh take on human expansion Human's being humans for sure, infesting the cosmos!
@jamesogden7756
7 ай бұрын
Must have this author on more. This humorous disrespectful banter is glorious! I am quite entertained.
@IRMentat
7 ай бұрын
I am shocked, SHOCKED. Well, not that shocked.
@markfergerson2145
7 ай бұрын
There’s more than one way to conduct diplomacy, it seems. Was it Keith Laumer who had an alien species that took offense if you failed to insult them adequately? Good to see that trope revived. I hope there’s a sequel or at least more tales set in this universe.
@JohnJBrowne11209
7 ай бұрын
Retief of the CDC!
@DavidWilliams-uj2rb
6 ай бұрын
This was like Red Dwarf mixed with Hitchhiker's guide. Very well done and cudos to the reader.
@MidnightSmoke
7 ай бұрын
Yes I have bathed recently. Here is a like and comment for the story, for scaring me, to help your channel grow, and get you the recognition you deserve.
@DisIzDaName
7 ай бұрын
Absolutely love the mock cussing, lmao!
@johnnycampbell3422
7 ай бұрын
Jupiter's cock, some of the muff stuff was grin inducing.
@MyrdinAnnoth
6 ай бұрын
The author of this story has a talent for funny dialogues and well delivered humor. Would not mind to see more from them, hell even from this exact setting!
@tabithachastain6999
7 ай бұрын
I LOVE the alien cussing
@portmoneul
7 ай бұрын
This just cracked me up. For the algo. For the upvotes. For the computer. The lack of bathing insult was spot on. 😂😂😂
@mariokajin
7 ай бұрын
Holly muff this was almost hysterical.
@jamesha175
7 ай бұрын
"son of a worm!"
@mattbrown5511
7 ай бұрын
My mother was a caterpillar, thank you very much. :)
@smaragdwolf1
6 ай бұрын
I like these Spiders^^ Casually swearing, joking with themself, no strict hierachy. Humans with a spider phobia surely will be shocked, but i can see them as future Friends.
@mikehenthorn1778
7 ай бұрын
Im reminded of a book series where there are spider like critters. Their name is not important. The humans all thought when they saw them " Get it off! Get it off! " We can work with you just no touching.
@bradwolf07
7 ай бұрын
I can't tell you all just how much I enjoyed this story. Humans being humans, we terrorize the Galaxy without even trying (or meaning to really). It's just so charming. And despite my aversion to spiders, I like these weirdos
@Shadow.Dragon
7 ай бұрын
Great story; Excellent narration! This story had me smiling from the start. But when the captain said "Pecker Warts!", I lost it! LOL!!!
@tlo_m1t917
7 ай бұрын
*To the tune of "O' Holy Night"* "OH HOLY MUFF. WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS FUUUUUUUUUUCK US?"
@Sum-kj8jo
6 ай бұрын
Contact the voice for Christmas special
@mogarth3866
6 ай бұрын
I love the idea of humans just being considered the rats/cockroaches of the universe and I I don’t know why but it fills me with pride
@klasandersson7522
7 ай бұрын
Oh my, I´m having to wipe coffee from all over after this one! 😂 Damn good reading Agro, but how the heck could you read this with a straight face? 😆
@thomasmandell3002
Ай бұрын
PRACTICE!!😂🤣
@monty9456
7 ай бұрын
From what i can tell, "Muff" is the hfy equivalent of "squanch" Was not expecting muff to be so blatantly stated 😂
@TCFamas
7 ай бұрын
500 more and the beard gets his well deserved fecking play button!!!
@orrismckay7269
7 ай бұрын
This had to be one of the greatest intro,s of anything of all time
@dragoniceful
7 ай бұрын
I love the spiders’ way with words.
@ArronRatliff
6 ай бұрын
This is my fourth watching of this video. I love the swear words the author decided on for the spider people.
@klackon1
7 ай бұрын
That was one of your best: I really enjoyed it. The author has a great sense of humour and it was well written, so thanks a lot for choosing to read it on your excellent channel.
@TheMonkey747
7 ай бұрын
"You wouldn't happen to have any... Would you?" 😂😂😂
@wepntech
6 ай бұрын
This one feels like a fun novel series to get into for a month or 2. Love the cheeky little millitary asset exchange.
@richardhowells5804
6 ай бұрын
This reminds me of Yahtzee's books, especially the "Will Save the Galaxy for Food" and the "Will Destroy the Galaxy for Cash" books. The swearing is based on mathematical nomenclature 😂.
@leonievanheerden7090
7 ай бұрын
Compliments to the author, this story was pure deliciousness, wrapped in perfect humour 💐⭐⭐💐
@denifnaf5874
7 ай бұрын
This needs to be a series
@sgtrock68
7 ай бұрын
OH, damn! Outstanding! I don't remember ever laughing all the way through any of the stories before this one. Humans can still be the scourge of the galaxy AND it can all be 'milk out the nose funny' at the same time...cuz sometimes life is so muffed up all you can do is laugh hysterically.
@parastitch
7 ай бұрын
I absolutely love creative swearing
@achimdemus-holzhaeuser1233
7 ай бұрын
For the Author For the Rythm For the Muff.
@jasperzanovich2504
2 ай бұрын
I love this setting. I can already see the shanty towns inside of the ship, traveling markets where you can buy everything. It's like the spacers from The Expanse but a lot more gypsy. And the spider people are a lot of fun as well.
@notcherbane3218
6 ай бұрын
This is hilarious I wish we could hear more stories like this
@AchievementDenied
5 ай бұрын
Humans, AKA "The Galactic Loot Goblins"
@darkhorse13golfgaming
7 ай бұрын
This one was loads of fun bro lol. I liked the alien perspective and the story actually made me laugh.
@jasonswearingin1009
7 ай бұрын
Damn I thought I had good wet sloppy stories for fishing and beer times! Mother Muffer is going in my vocabulary!
@Maeshalanadae
7 ай бұрын
Sounds like they never tried communicating with us.
@Renegadebane
7 ай бұрын
I think we humans could be good friends with the muff loving spiders if they weren't so up their own grundle, trading partners maybe. At least they're unintentionally funny but i feel like it would get old.
@codywilson2629
6 ай бұрын
You know i had always pictured you as a slightly excentric english aristocrat based on your voice. Cant twll you how cool it is that you have a face that matches. Love when that happens. Thanks for all your hard work
@LuciferVonCarstein
7 ай бұрын
Absolutely love the writing on this one.
@grantcox4764
7 ай бұрын
That was one of the most enjoyable stories ive heard lately. Good story and great narration...
@weirdredpanda
7 ай бұрын
How do you insult a human? Maybe imply that they bathed recently?😂
@TheJasonBorn
7 ай бұрын
That last bit, lol. For the Agro-rtyhm!
@KarlF45
7 ай бұрын
Well done to the writer, and thank you for your work too :)
@MorphicStates
23 күн бұрын
This one kept me chuckling. And it was interesting to hear one where the humans weren't so godlike, worshiped, feared. Well feared because of their overwhelming superiority, tenacity, drive, determination, adaptability, or any other number of overly repetitive descriptors used throughout the regurgitated AI stories at least.
@jrsydvl7218
7 ай бұрын
Between the quality delivery and top notch stories. I can see these as twisted twilight zone episodes.
@dyxifltline
7 ай бұрын
The smart assed aliens are too much. You are killing me.
@billcook7285
7 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂 this story may be the first thing I've ever shared! My son's going to love it! 😂😂😂
@kdmbigpig
7 ай бұрын
This has now been added to the Saturday session playlist to share with an aquatence
@maxwellwelch3717
7 ай бұрын
99.5k! Almost there, brother man!
@nunyabidness-y2r
7 ай бұрын
I snerked right when the admiral snerked😂😂
@pheonixblue01
6 ай бұрын
This two button plan is genius.
@maciek_k.cichon
7 ай бұрын
O, that was one of the good ones in a while. I'll definitely check out the author for more. Thanks for a great read!
@vanishl.2693
7 ай бұрын
That three button deal was undeniable
@craigf6277
7 ай бұрын
Glad I had my headphones on for that one😅
@JRRodriguez-nu7po
7 ай бұрын
I love his coat. It has a military air wo being there and fits his look well.
@SilverMKI
7 ай бұрын
Wait, too many buttons to choose from!
@westernbody
7 ай бұрын
I always press the big red shiny one
@danielleriley2796
7 ай бұрын
You’re really good at this. The different voices are fitting the characters and don’t sound silly or unfitting.
@dollarbill6102
7 ай бұрын
That first part was some good Terry Pratchett shit gonna have to save this so I can look up the author later
@billewilde1
7 ай бұрын
I have officially adopted my new curse word. "Crinkle".
@bow-tiedengineer4453
5 ай бұрын
Honestly, it felt more like technical slang. To crinkle something it to make it be covered in wrinkles, like if you crumpled paper into a ball, so "reduced to crinkle" sounds like slang for something being irreparably crushed or bent out of shape.
@dwightehowell8179
7 ай бұрын
I listened to this one twice!
@jeffreyleimkiller8547
7 ай бұрын
Congratulations on 100k subs bro
@whunt5533
7 ай бұрын
Best Star Trek episode ever.
@riprapter6322
7 ай бұрын
I always listen S2F {START TO FINISH) I always like also- love your narrations.
@quietlistener7054
4 ай бұрын
This story made my day, thanks for the great read!
@sonjavoorhees4759
7 ай бұрын
Second group of spider aliens I like from your stories the one where they save to little girl was great too
@bananamuffiin9869
6 ай бұрын
I loved this one especially!! Vary entertainment, ahhhh i love war!!!! So many goodies!!
@nigredoooalgown6245
7 ай бұрын
I miss watching the little fishy cleaning the floating rock. :/
@OldG-regUpTo-11
4 ай бұрын
This was executed so well. I couldn't remember what 'muff' meant at first. So I translated it in my mind as 'sex organ' and thought they were insulting their own god. Then the captain of the human ship said the line about 'aren't they the ones who worship...?' and I lost it! All previous statements came together in one big joke for me. This should be converted to script and released as modern day Space Balls. It was great!
@antonfowler6582
7 ай бұрын
Loved the cursing 😂
@janelandin9356
6 ай бұрын
That was brilliant- best in ages!
@UmaROMC
7 ай бұрын
Now I pushed a buncha buttons
@ColonelBragg
6 ай бұрын
This one is actually good
@kenlee5509
6 ай бұрын
The Muff be praised!
@stevemiller8032
7 ай бұрын
99.5k keep it going He deserves it.
@sheldonbuchanan9484
6 ай бұрын
thisnstory is less "humans are space Orcs" and more "humans are feral space goblins"
@bow-tiedengineer4453
5 ай бұрын
Yup, that sounds about right.
@Vhailor_Mithras
6 ай бұрын
*Reads Title.* "Hell yeah we are!" 😎
@robertunderwood4262
7 ай бұрын
I wish there were more stories like this. Super funny.😂😂😂
@sanityflyer5294
7 ай бұрын
My man's here needs to become a voice actor 🎉
@ozloop69
7 ай бұрын
I just spent my last 20 minutes laughing that was After finishing this lovely tail as someone who has been called Mr Muffy or Mr muff. I found this episode hilarious with all the muff comments thank you😂❤
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