This is actually insulting not just to black women obviously, but even the black men he thinks he's doing a favor. He's indirectly calling them so broke and pathetic that all they can scrape together is just enough to cover one out of the many household bills. Not even the mortgage, like what sort of joke is that?
@sheritownsend5359
Жыл бұрын
You'd be surprised how many Black men would not view this as insulting.
@Goddess_Infinity
Жыл бұрын
Exactly!!!! I said the same thing
@ebonylyn6104
Жыл бұрын
Exactly
@MissKashira
Жыл бұрын
You are right. When I looked at the responses from BM, while a lot were happy BW were being told once against not to expect the bare minimum of an adult able to adult, a lot were mad they were being accused of being innately inferior to BW. "His gifts might not be your gifts." The gift of going to work and paying my bills? Is that the super talent BW have that somehow skipped over BM? Not only did he tell us to lower our expectations, he said BM are incapable of meeting higher ones, which was very insulting.
@mmaya772
Жыл бұрын
Exactly what I was gonna say smh.* 😅@@sheritownsend5359
@katherinesavarese6009
Жыл бұрын
I wish tyler would address how resentful and dangerous many men get when dating a woman who they depend on
@kiramorrissette3838
Жыл бұрын
He never does and that's the most unrealistic part of his movies and shows. He paints these men as if their only flaw is that they're broke and that they're a well rounded person otherwise when in reality these men tend to have other issues than them just not making enough. Their finances is tied to their self-worth so many lash out on their partner who makes more because they're insecure.
@Bibirallie
Жыл бұрын
He wouldn’t know, he prefers men.
@sheritownsend5359
Жыл бұрын
I wish he would tell them how they need to prepare themselves for marriage.
@nia_njema
Жыл бұрын
I grew up with my mum as primary provider and my dad resented her so much for it.....and yes the minute she got paralyzed after an accident he left. Ladies dont fall for this bs advice. Men will resent you when you have it all and they have nothing
@chwayitayose845
Жыл бұрын
EXACTLY!!!
@Ci_beauty
Жыл бұрын
It’s hard for a women to keep up with paying everything, taking care of kids, and working! It’s just not fair and your partner should come into your life to make your life easier
@virgogodddessss
Жыл бұрын
Chile, if a man can only pay just the light bill in a relationship then he does not need to be in a relationship, he needs to work on himself and re-evaluate his life! Head to your mama’s house sir! Need to be more ambitious than that!
@catcoffee7958
Жыл бұрын
True
@darlenemccoy8892
Жыл бұрын
🎯
@malimal4972
Жыл бұрын
"Go ahead baby , keep your list , keep your list , hope it works out for you" - Tyler Perry
@ecclairmayo4153
Жыл бұрын
That's right because he has a lot of bigger things to worry about than dating. He is effectively homeless
@justjimlise
Жыл бұрын
If HE wanted to, HE would. Preach now girl!!!👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
@girlwithathought2940
Жыл бұрын
"if he wanted to he would". when I tell you I LOVE you. when I tell you you are not only gifted & called but also needed and appreciated... girl you speak to my soul!
@Minding_my_business
Жыл бұрын
Chileeeee 😂… Tyler needs to mind his billion business and stop speaking for WOMEN. We did NOT ask him for his DUSTY opinion 😬
@lalasunshinebeams8354
Жыл бұрын
This!! Just because he dresses like a woman doesn't make him one.
@cosmicbeauty5682
Жыл бұрын
Thank you like he figured since he made a career playing a woman damn near all his life, he has the range to speak on matters like this. His struggle love films get on my nerves
@beepbopboop7727
Жыл бұрын
Why doesn’t HE marry all these Light Bill Men then?
@user-vf3fz7qv6v
Жыл бұрын
Lol the “it just happened” got me. Whenever I see a black woman especially someone who looks like me with a guy that I would want to be with I feel that same frustration when I’m like “HOOOOW” and the relationship just falls in their lap. That being said. It makes me happy like there is hope
@reffa2858
Жыл бұрын
Ive noticed that. Men are more proud at how they "got the girl" like theyre proud of the work, and effort they put in to achieve their goal. But women act like its all "as a matter of fact" like the stars aligned pefectly, and they just so happened to find the man of their dreams.
@valerie6336
Жыл бұрын
You should never really feel bad about what people have. Because a lot of times you don't know what's going on behind closed doors. Also, if you don't know what makes them fit, those 2 people, though. That person may be black may not be just like you. That man that they have, you don't know who that person is? When the door closes and men are very different in front of you in public. And when the door closes are certain things that make those 2 fit like a piece in a Jigsaw puzzle. That's just not your puzzle piece, and then not to mention if the person wanted to be with you, they would be with you. Why would you want to be with someone who resents the thought of looking at you
@valerie6336
Жыл бұрын
I knownthat me finding my equal as a heterosexual blk women will be a special and not easy task. Not because if am exceptional but many men have a love vibrational state of mind amd i have dignity and pride. I have never been a beggar and crazy thing even though my dad was in many ways like my husband thise are the same men who teach their daughters to not accept that behavior. They don't want their daughters to be on the receiving end of the behavior ls they were enacting towars other people's daughters or promote with their friends. I am full if great relationships, that fill me up. I refuse to beg for the ones that depleat me from my core or my spirit
@malimal4972
Жыл бұрын
"Go ahead baby , keep your list , keep your list , hope it works out for you" - Tyler Perry
@ecclairmayo4153
Жыл бұрын
@@valerie6336- plus we never truly know what the relationship is like behind closed doors or what the woman or man has to sacrifice to be in the relationship. We really have to be careful rimanticizing and idealizing a couple we may see or know.
@hellostephco84
Жыл бұрын
A Few things about this video: 1.) If I was a man, and I encountered me on my youtube channel first, I would not have slid into my DM's in 2021-2022 either...honestly it was kind of yikes over here lol. 2.) I don't watch Tyler Perry's shows, so I had no idea who Crystal Renee Hayslett was outside of youtube, I feel dumb. She's a whole media mogul. Her podcast is actually very good! 3.) I'm going through a brow phase right now...I'm working through it!
@charnaeyoung9815
Жыл бұрын
Lol your brows look fine to me.
@reffa2858
Жыл бұрын
When I was young I witnessed my sisters damn near shave off their entire eyebrows and draw it back with eyeliner 😂
@saranghae2808
Жыл бұрын
If I was a man, I would have slid into your DMs in 2021/22. I would have seen your earnestness, good heart, wonderful spirit and your beauty. I'm not patronizing you. Just my pov :)
@missy1e23
Жыл бұрын
Who? Lol I let go of my... dedication...to Tyler Perry's shows when The Haves & The Have Nots, If Living You Is Wrong, & For Better or Worse all ended. I used to watch them with my mom. The plots were interesting, but the writing/dialogue was abysmal. I guess I'm gonna have to go look up who she is...or maybe not. It's late as I'm watching this and I'll probably forget when I'm fully awake 😂.
@bleeploughly6311
Жыл бұрын
I really liked your brows in this video, I totally get the journey though! Currently on an eyebrow adventure of my own, considering shaving off the ends 💕
@veronicawhitfield6008
Жыл бұрын
It’s the fact that this advice is always specific to black women…like hey nobody is going to want you take what you can get. Wow
@sweetpeaj1952
Жыл бұрын
Pretty much. And he's also saying bm are noy about to build themselves up for bw.
@courajess
Жыл бұрын
My issue is why is Perry encouraging men “who can only pay the light bill” to try and partner? You cannot afford a partner nor the kids who may come with that partnership. Be single, my dude. Get your finances, and your life, in order. And yes, the same goes for women and non-binary folks. My next issue is how many of those men are actually “loving you unconditionally and doing everything they’re supposed to do”? From what I’ve experienced, they are still cheating, abusing, and refusing to do any domestic or emotional labor.
@moniqueloomis9772
Жыл бұрын
This is perfect!
@jmeelz7
Жыл бұрын
A WORD for the hour, "if HE wanted to HE would" thank you for that Steph! I've come to that realization as well being black, 34 and single. And Yes! "When something is for you, there's a grace and an easy that follows it!"You're so right. Everyone's script is different and at the end of the day, that's okay! ❤❤❤
@miras7710
Жыл бұрын
Your commentary is so needed and appreciated on this platform ❤️ from a fellow single woman
@HunnifredBee
Жыл бұрын
Stephco deserves a candle on the altar 🥹
@urbanflight820
Жыл бұрын
Some people love to keep an air of superiority surrounding their partnerships, when more times than not - it is simply luck. The madness needs to stop, especially when there are so many healed, beautiful, marriageable women who are still single...and then there are some raggedy scalawags who are married. It is truly luck of the draw!
@ecclairmayo4153
Жыл бұрын
Another good reason whybwe shouldn't idealized and romanticize other people's relationships. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors or what they have to sacrifice to be in it
@noeltimberlake165
Жыл бұрын
I know I spent years receiving less than and bothered by the outcome but now I happily refuse to drop a standard or go against my boundaries for anyone.
@creamy6680
Жыл бұрын
Stephanie Michelle Alexis Gonforl this is your best video in my opinion! You nailed it on the head. No one can tell you why you dont have this or that because as you said they don’t know what is the script of your life. Hell some people be out here giving advices when their marriage is on the brink of divorce or they are serial cheaters (cough *Derrick Jackson* cough) so I completely agree; lets let people live their lives and be at peace because some things are just OUTSIDE of their control. Great video ❤
@TBean472
Жыл бұрын
Why was I thinking the same thing!? This is her best video in my opinion too, her words spoke to my soul 🥹
@CallMeErie
Жыл бұрын
@creamy6680 Not her full gov’ment name!😁
@manestreambeauty
Жыл бұрын
It may not be wise to put StephCo's full name on a public platform, for privacy and safety reasons.
@creamy6680
Жыл бұрын
@@manestreambeauty i ve no idea what her full government is, these are made up. Thank you
@manestreambeauty
Жыл бұрын
@@creamy6680 Glad you removed her real last name.
@KekeMoloto
Жыл бұрын
Steph you are gifted girl. You are stepping into your own as a creator, and it’s so beautiful to witness 🥲. May you continue to grow from strength to strength ❤
@michellepittman7886
Жыл бұрын
“Get a dog” is the quote of the day ❤
@lumkamsomi2836
Жыл бұрын
Great take and very clear 👌🏾 And that's not to say you don't put effort towards what you want. You do, but when they don't happen, you don't have to beat yourself up to the point of depression because, truthfully, these things are out of our control, and that's okay.
@BeautifulEarthJa
Жыл бұрын
Why did I just keep laughing thru this whole thing?! As you said, what Perry said should be ignored and we move on.
@jannalipford8179
Жыл бұрын
If a man can only pay the light bill, he really isn't in a place to be dating in the first place. That sounds like the equivalent of a dependent.
@Lov3A11Rac3s
Жыл бұрын
One of your best videos and honestly the best I’ve seen on the topic as a whole. Thank you for this, it’s freeing & validating
@brandyburch6003
Жыл бұрын
This makes me so mad. I have a mixed son I adopted that tells me he doesn’t want to date black woman because of what Taylor Perry said ! I told my son not to believe what media says about black woman. You could be missing the woman that God wants you to be with. You have to have good morals and become a good man. Then you will attract a woman that also has good morals and a good woman. Good woman are strong and will speak their mind in a positive way. They will hold you accountable for your actions.
@InfamousSan
Жыл бұрын
I completely agree with everything you said Steph! I won’t even elaborate on the Tyler Perry topic bc as you said, we all feel the same way about it. I will however elaborate on “if he wanted to he will” and maybe add some encouragement to my fellow ladies. When I left my child’s father, I was told that I was going to be a miserable single mother stuck taking care of a kid when he’ll get to do whatever he wants (travel etc without planning as I would). I’ve always thought that dating is a little harder when you’re a single mom but I always knew I was a catch. 6 months after my “BD” said that ridiculous thing to me, I met my now fiancée. Who not only accepted a step dad role to my child but also knew he wanted to marry me after dating for only a month. I have truly found my soulmate and love my little family. We’ll be married October and I feel like I’m living in a dream. When it’s your time, God sends the right person in your path. Never force or be down on yourself. Your time is coming ladies !
@TBean472
Жыл бұрын
“If HE wanted to HE would” Wow just wow. I really needed to hear this. God was speaking through you in this video. “I really believe that we all have different scripts when it comes to our lives.” I sit back and compare my love life (the lack there of) to others and majority of the time I am so confused. I tend to blame my appearance but as I am getting older, I know that is not the case. I am still learning how to detach from wanting to be in a healthy, loving, and longevity relationship. So thank you for this WORD 🤎
@louisewilliams9417
Жыл бұрын
Never seen a Tyler Perry movie, but I hear all his films have the same message, the message that black women should settle for the bare minimum.
@jadibdraws
Жыл бұрын
As a long time follower of your channel your growth has been amazing to witness. Your on the right path Steph so proud of you! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@theosymommy
Жыл бұрын
First. I have to say, I ❤ your commentary. You are a thinker, intelligent, observant, rational.. I can go on.. Beautiful inside and out. The point in this video was well recieved. Thank you! I like a how you take your time to respond to viral topics..You always hit it from a different point of view.. I compare your videos to a person who waits until they are calm to respond to the bull crap😂😂😂. Stay Blessed and hydrated sis❤
@alinegerard1284
Жыл бұрын
There’s no one problematic men love to bully more than women who are more successful than them because it hurts their ego on another level, so him gaslighting black women into marrying potential opps is really fucked up.
@Model_Roe
Жыл бұрын
Ummmm Tyler Perry doesn't even like women allegedly 👀🤣
@bettedavismydears1521
Жыл бұрын
You’re such a cool person, thank you for sharing yourself with us ♥️
@chideraosuji6353
Жыл бұрын
Such a fresh perspective. Thanks Steph! Really needed this.
@Jammin1504
Жыл бұрын
I’m so happy you figured it out. As soon as I did the same thing, I met the one. Literally the minute I stopped looking, I found him. Also I wish I appreciated being single way more and focused on living a great life instead.
@aquaopa1
Жыл бұрын
I have been with the love of my life for 26 years. We just happened to be in the right place at the right time when we met each other. It was LUCK!
@sinovuyobudaza7167
Жыл бұрын
Continue doing the work that you do. It helps a lot of people. Thank you for sharing. ❤
@tshepison8907
Жыл бұрын
I love your take on this. I met the loml at 26 and I know that’s still young but I was single for 5 years before that and actively dating (meeting men that I knew were not right for me so I didn’t settle). Me and my partner met on a by chance work trip that I replaced someone who had to come back. Literally what are the odds 😅 completely agree with your opinion on this!
@pepperminttree
Жыл бұрын
only the light bill and dinner here and there took me out lol
@amaneegordon1864
Жыл бұрын
I’m glad you came to a different thinking about being single, its a healthier mind frame to be in :) good shit👍🏽
@docd2026
Жыл бұрын
Maam!!! This was a message no one can write our story!!!
@Tinabobinna
Жыл бұрын
He acts like broke men dont cheat! like tf they cant even afford to be loyal! if they where loyal and helping with the family, like they expect woman then thats a conversation. We all have had the roughest experience from broke men so why not raise our standards? we already been fucked over by broke dudes.
@lirekoqhobela4439
Жыл бұрын
Oh! Stephco... ❤ Thank you. This was such a timeous video. So healing.
@SadeChampagne
Жыл бұрын
Thank you Steph for all the new videos!! I LOVE your content and you’re very entertaining and encouraging!
@TeKeyaKrystal
Жыл бұрын
8:40 "partnership is the result of circumstances and situations far out of an individual's control" !!! i want to plaster this alongside a busy intersection
@lisasmith4958
Жыл бұрын
Good girl love the fact that someone feels the same way with me, we share the same views on Tyler perry portrayal of darker skinned women. Being single and waiting for the right person is better than being occupied, yes I said it, being occupied with a man you just settle for. There is nothing to gain or nothing good in a I just settle for this relationship because you feel time is passing you by. Wait on God he knows ourselves better than we know ourselves. Some of us have some work to do on ourselves before we can be with the right person. The last thing is to meet the right person and you not ready. We should pray that God prepares us for the right partner.
@valerie6336
Жыл бұрын
Why do people assume it's so guaranteed that everyone will be in this wonderful relationship? When I look at people who aren't relationships or in marriages, a many or a plethora of them. Actually are not in wonderful relationships. Not everybody finds there, mate. Not everybody finds their soul mate sometimes in life. That doesn't happen actually, a lot of times in life that doesn't happen. Yes, people are together. But they are not happy those who are depressed. Those who are crying behind closed doors. Those who are wishing they coming as soon. It's just not the truth and I think a lot of us in the world are living in this false head of truth everyone thought. Jeezy and jeanie Mai were happy. For many women to be in relationships. First, men would have to realize that deception in lying is not the predication. To getting someone to stay in a relationship which happens a lot. Especially in the black community, there's a lot of deception to gain relationships. And then hoping after I deceive. You just give up and stay.
@amunuaatta6446
Жыл бұрын
I honestly believe that it's so much harder to stay single and not settle for smth that is not right. Not to lower standards that are a reflection of self-love. I believe that such behaviour is much more respectful to the institution of marriage than to do it because of societal pressure and self-doubt. Not everything is in our control. Such as finding ur partner. Sending u loveee
@sshoegirl30004
Жыл бұрын
10:20 Exactly! I have this conversation with myself....I am so ahead of so many people I know, and yet they thrive....I am so confused sometimes.
@rosemarydejesus7630
Жыл бұрын
i don't listen to celebrities
@nmartinez53
Жыл бұрын
💯 I met my partner when I was really young, but I was working on myself in my early college years. I also met good friends tl and things just felt more aligned. My standards and self-awareness have evolved from where we started, and fortunately, in many ways, the relationship has elevated and deepened as well. The ways that are challenging we can discuss and work towards adapting. I'm a whole different me 15 years later. I don't think marriage is a replacement for working on being healed and whole in a world that seems to love to see us broken.
@Mar-fl7cx
Жыл бұрын
This video is just brilliant. I wish you had a bigger platform to voice this point of view, which is in my opinion the only correct one. How unfair that someone so clueless as Tyler Perry is allowed to speak these toxic truths out into the world.
@saw533
Жыл бұрын
Yeah, but where is Tyler Perry’s love of his life??
@JOamelie
Жыл бұрын
damn girl , you went in and didn't skipped a beat with them gems
@CNJL1
Жыл бұрын
It’s like dang black women can’t even get a man that can take care of himself. If he can only pay the light bill that means he was homeless before.
@NeoBlessedGirl
Жыл бұрын
I pray for many blessings for you in your life. God definitely wanted me to hear this. Like, I’ve never heard this kind of advice before. Most is condescending and victim blaming. You framed the situation so perfectly and I appreciate your transparency. I pray for you to have everything. God bless you!!!
@jwalka534
Жыл бұрын
Y'all don't have to listen to Tyler...periodt 😌
@oshunthagreat
Жыл бұрын
I like that women are being direct and honest about love using phrases like when and if it's supposed to happen. The ways we are taught to seek love is from desperation this is why it doesn't align
@GreenGorgeousness
Жыл бұрын
No more scraps. 11 years on November for me, and did not settle.
@SmartMoneyAcademyCA
Жыл бұрын
Not “been to jail several times” 😂
@g0ldvibez
Жыл бұрын
Wow, this will age extremely well. Ethnic glory! 💛
@johncarter5707
Жыл бұрын
You Did That! Great perspective! What is meant for you Won't pass you by.
@courtneyc.3186
Жыл бұрын
I know I might be in the minority here, but i think many people are choosing to be obtuse about this comment. His example is an extreme example. I truly think the message is moreso, that if you have found a partner that is trying, but may be bringing in less than you, then it may be in your best interest to find balance and make it work if it has been working. If we are totally being honest, if you are 100 percent turned off by your partner earning less, then how/ why are you dating them in the first place? How did they make it past the 1st date? There must have been something redeeming about them to even make it to the part where you are discussing utility bills. At no point do you need to adjust your standards. But at some point we have to get a grip on reality.
@thhe5859
11 ай бұрын
But sense when have BW not been accepting of a man that was trying. People aren’t being obtuse. People are basing their opinions on exactly what he said.
@Honeysuckle33
Жыл бұрын
I got married at 18 and it was not a good time. Just because you're having someone who's older and pays all the bills and all this BS that these red pill channels talk about Does not make a woman happy. God let's us make stupid choices. I got married, young had babies young. My heart was always breaking. Cheating, p*** addiction, physical abuse, drug abuse. So marriage does not equal happiness
@Donnie8907
Жыл бұрын
Madea comes out everytime he starts talking fast
@rosalynhayes2369
Жыл бұрын
Love doesn’t pay bills. When rent/mortgage is due….what will you tell them? Oh my man love me so we gone pay the rent/mortgage with our love. 😂
@iseeyall
Жыл бұрын
Love your commentary
@CamilleMason
Жыл бұрын
This was a great analysis!
@malhunt7
Жыл бұрын
Also...why do men feel the need to advise women instead of other men!?! Like, why dont you tell men to level up rather than telling women to accept less?? Makes no sense!
@InStepWithSteph
Жыл бұрын
This video was golden and spot on.
@sophiaosiris446
Жыл бұрын
I needed this. Thank you
@elsf
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for your POV. If He wanted to, HE would!
@noeland8129
Жыл бұрын
I love your revelation!!!!
@theheartwithin
Жыл бұрын
" Time of the month "🙂 yes I know. By the way ,thank you Stephanie for sharing your perspective on youtube. Bless you.
@Tricey.89
Жыл бұрын
Both men & women have their way of saying they don’t want to settle. Even men say they at least want someone who tried to have something under their own belt and don’t want to just sit there and wait for a man to get with them and give them princess treatment. So as women, no, we don’t want to do the work of being financially sustainable then meet someone who want to just pay the light bill just for the sake of saying “at least we ain’t single”.
@aidak3341
Жыл бұрын
Wow…I really needed this video. Thank you for this Steph and for the book recommendation. I love your take and that you are not “victim blaming” single women 🥹 “if He wanted to, He would”
@NKim-gj9vk
Жыл бұрын
Sarah Jakes Roberts just held the Women’s Evolve conference where she got 40,000 BW together to discuss finances, mental health and leveling up. This whole BILLIONAIRE could easily do something like this for Black men to give them a pathway to being partners not dependents. He decided to just tell BW not to care about money while driving back to his 100 million dollar home. It’s the lazy route IMO
@mekakoop9777
Жыл бұрын
This! 💯
@princellasmith7562
Жыл бұрын
Literally THIS. 💯
@neoloanderson6676
Жыл бұрын
I’ve never heard of her, I will do my research 💞
@truthfullytiggy5860
Жыл бұрын
Right
@christinag1998
Жыл бұрын
It’s insane how overly financially sound black men won’t help other black men gain some leverage
@msdentist2011
Жыл бұрын
This just comes off as "lower your standards." I don't think there is anything wrong with a black woman wanting a man who has achieved similar goals in life. And in 2023, simply covering the light bill is not going to cut it. How does one build a household/ raise a family with a man who covers 5% of household expenses? If a man can only cover the light bill, he likely doesn't even have a TRADE profession to his name. Many other cultures will not even allow their men to entertain women until they have themselves "together"-academically, financially, etc.
@coryjackson6944
Жыл бұрын
Just posed this question to a black man who was of the same opinion.. Professional black women not finding love because they are overlooking blue collar black men.. My question to him.. if a woman has worked hard to to improve herself why should “she” have to settle for less than what she desires?!?
@angeleyes3386
Жыл бұрын
Right. My grandfather came from a sharecropper family. He put my grandmother through school to be a schoolteacher in their youth. Learned a trade in carpentry, welding and built houses for a living. Later went to college in his 70’s because he always wanted to but let my granny go first while he supported the family. He and I graduated with our Bachelor’s together. He went back and got his Masters with my cousin. Can you imagine the inspiration he put in our hearts?! He invested well while he worked and paid to keep my Grandmother at home when she fell ill and needed 24 hour care for 6 years until death instead of putting her in a nursing home. If a sharecropper’s son could do that, AIN’T NO WAY I’m a accepting a man that can only pay a light bill.
@sheritownsend5359
Жыл бұрын
@@coryjackson6944 I heard that marriage should involve 2 things: chemistry and compatibility. I agree. What does a woman making enough money to pay the mortgage have in common with a man who can only pay the light bill? They don't have the same drive. It's the analogy that doesn't make sense.
@catcoffee7958
Жыл бұрын
Sadly this guy is promoting a recipe for generations in poverty
@ijeonu2405
Жыл бұрын
@@catcoffee7958only poverty or unaliving the woman and the kids brcause of jealousy
@PhatCat-n8g
Жыл бұрын
I’m not taking any dating advice from a man who’s entire personality is based on dressing like and mocking us.
@YaLittleFriend
Жыл бұрын
Preach. Period.
@Nekole1
Жыл бұрын
Bingo
@slickrick8046
Жыл бұрын
Black women love Tyler Perry.
@CCC9437
Жыл бұрын
Hmm… he’s not mocking me
@AlwonDomz
Жыл бұрын
Ladies are throwing away Tyler Perry now? because he suggested your man pay the light bill if he can’t pay the mortgage???
@CJ-um1dp
Жыл бұрын
As a 41 year old woman, I agree 100% with this video. I’ve lived in different cities, been in many social situations. Yet, still single. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather be at peace vs. being depressed about not being in a relationship. I truly believe at my core, it will happen, when it will happen.
@alizeferis
Жыл бұрын
I came down here to say that as a 45 year old woman, I agree 100% with this video :)
@tropicallymixed.
Жыл бұрын
I came to the same realization in my 40s as well........
@gata1887
Жыл бұрын
I’m a 36 year old latino woman and I came to that realization this year: I’d rather be alone and happy that with a man and miserable. I feel free!!!
@jones2277
Жыл бұрын
bingo. same here. SMBC.
@malimal4972
Жыл бұрын
"Go ahead baby , keep your list , keep your list , hope it works out for you" - Tyler Perry
@FightsRightsAlways
Жыл бұрын
WHY can't people in the black community tell black men to do and be better?? Why when it always comes to being better, it's always black women who are being told that?? Why doesn't Tyler tell black men what he did to become a billionaire?? Or why doesn't he set up systems to help more black men?? Black people have been telling black women for the last 20 years to settle or to build a man up and for most, that's backfired big time.
@NIO623
Жыл бұрын
Thank you!! I don't understand the infantalizing of black men as helpless and always vulnerable.
@ihavethots1261
Жыл бұрын
the tea is hot
@sheritownsend5359
Жыл бұрын
I've been saying the same thing. Instead of telling Black women what she should settle for (in the name of love) he could be helping Black men to level up. Tyler Perry was homeless. He could be telling men about the type of drive and sacrifice it takes, that took him from a homeless situation to becoming a billionaire.
@Zikomo7
Жыл бұрын
Black men have collectively given up. It’s creepy how no one is addressing it.
@mammajamma4397
Жыл бұрын
@@Zikomo7VERY creepy!
@sade3029
Жыл бұрын
Im just a little bothered that he changed voices and went in to character when trying to drive his point, because now you're making a mockery of an issue thats important to me. Lets be honest love is needed but its not enough. Finances will make or break any type of relationship.
@ecclairmayo4153
Жыл бұрын
Yeah and the whole "go and keep your list baby, hope it works out for you" thing. He is literally saying you don't even deserve these standarss
@sade3029
Жыл бұрын
@ecclairmayo4153 right!! The bare freaking minimum. I hate being told I'm expecting too much when I'm literally asking for crumbs 🙃
@MissKashira
Жыл бұрын
Even if we were willing to pick up homeless men off the streets, which let's be real, that's what he told us to do because if all you can afford is a light bill every month, you're homeless, how would we know they like us for us and don't just like us better than being homeless? While I'm sure that's a way to get a man, I'm not sure that would get you a man you'd actually want to be with.
@victorialadybug1
Жыл бұрын
That's the way to get a man who will kill you when you want him to move out because you're tired of his nonsense.
@sweetpeaj1952
Жыл бұрын
Exactly. I've dated men who saw me as a meal ticket. The minute they realize I'm not about to spoil them, they bounce.
@HunnifredBee
Жыл бұрын
Thissssssd
@CNJL1
Жыл бұрын
He wants us to be community outreach, welfare, and social services. We can’t be women and human beings with needs, wants, and desires.
@moveone9013
Жыл бұрын
And if it turns out that hobo sapient was selling you dream… you will be blamed and told CHOOSE BETTER. Lose lose situation, so why even take the risk??
@akilahbrooklyn8236
Жыл бұрын
As a BW... I never supported any of Tyler Perry's movies. The only group pf people who made an accurate assessment of Tyler Perry's movies was 'The Boondocks.' That didn't go well with Tyler Perry...now did it? Go back and watch that episode. Same storyline with all of his movies. 1. Successful BM is vilified. 2. BW is strong and virtuous. 3. Tyrone comes out of prison. 4. The strong, BW chooses Tyrone... love over money. 5. Strong virtuous woman kicks rich husband out. Moves Tyrone in. "Baby, I got us. Just pay the light bill." Said no smart woman ever! ...And some wonder why so many BW flock to thugs, and avoid BK successful men. They have Tyler Perry to thank for that.
@niax782
Жыл бұрын
I’m with you! I haven’t seen all of TP’s movies - but I’ve seen enough to recognize his blueprint 🗺️
@TBean472
Жыл бұрын
Wow you have opened my eyes to him and his messages
@Silly_u1908
Жыл бұрын
And don’t forget to sprinkle some form of abuse or addiction that the victim will never go to therapy for or properly heal from. Instead they will hold hands and sing a gospel song and pretend all their problems are cured them.
@Kayla-kd8ov
Жыл бұрын
Ouuu and don't forget to sprinkle in some HIV or AIDs in there. You know he just gotta add that one in there
@rosseryankeegirl
Жыл бұрын
Lol!!! He puts all these things in his movies cause he knows that's what the BC goes through. I've never watched his movies. And when I would tell people..mostly BW this, they'd look at me like a traitor cause I'm not watching his crusty dusty movies and TV shows..🥴I recognize buffoonery when it's being fed to us..
@babycoconut
Жыл бұрын
The real issue is men get very resentful when they are not as accomplished as their wives and take it out on them somehow. Either by cheating or worse
@jjamerican93
Жыл бұрын
That’s a valid concern. People who tell women to overlook a man’s education/career/income don’t mean you well.
@TamGood
Жыл бұрын
So men can scream at the top of their lungs about what a woman brings to the table and want women to go 50/50 cause they want to be sure she ain't a gold digger, etc but women should be "grateful" for a man that can just pay the light bill??? FOH Tyler. A "good man" who loves and honors someone he claims to care about, would be bettering himself so he can make more. Most women just want someone who is on their level or a little higher and there is nothing wrong with that. If men don't like it they should take that sh*t up with the patriarchy because they are who established that men should be "making more" to be the "leader of the household" sh*t, not women.
@ecclairmayo4153
Жыл бұрын
Exactly! If you get with this homeless man that can only pay a light bill, you can guarantee he ia not with you because he likes you. No, he needed a home. He is just using you
@dkt4377
10 ай бұрын
I question the existence of Patriarchy in western civilization.
@worthwhileproductions6929
Жыл бұрын
Exactly, "Only pay the light bill?!" A grown man only paying the light bill? That's what you make your teenage child pay. Black women deserve the support of a full-grown man just like all other women on this Earth. God gave us the right to be loved AND taken care of.
@ecclairmayo4153
Жыл бұрын
Give the teenager to make them learn to stop leaving on all the lights!
@tvdavis
Жыл бұрын
The solution is to move around, ladies. Stop holding it down for dudes who can’t match your success. That means you might have to give up that “Nothing But a BM” idea. When they’re successful, they rarely stick around for us.
@ronnienorford256
Жыл бұрын
I can say to the successful black men as well. Move around to none black women. It goes both ways
@myway718
Жыл бұрын
@@ronnienorford256 The FEW successful bm have been moving around. It's time bw did the same.
@HD91436
Жыл бұрын
@@ronnienorford256no you cant, when black women are successful they still desire a black man period. They just cant find a black man at their level unless they settle. whereas for a black man who becomes successful he desires a non black women , someone racially ambiguous/ exotic its rooted in appeasing to the white man. To show that they made it in life and have a “trophy wife” or some prize next to them.
@ronnienorford256
Жыл бұрын
@@HD91436 when a successful black he can't find the right black women who's respectful. So he finds it with a none black woman
@myway718
Жыл бұрын
@@ronnienorford256 I could respect that answer if bm didn't date bw while they are poor and broke...then switch up when they get money. How are bw good enough when he was broke but not when he has money? If they feel other racist are better then date then while broke too.
@zsazsa4159
Жыл бұрын
No one wants to say it. A lot of men just don’t want a job. That’s it. Blk women make more because we go to work , because we know we have to.
@sweetpeaj1952
Жыл бұрын
Yep.💯
@Nat0528
Жыл бұрын
100%👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@ramalellison9205
Жыл бұрын
Super disagree. Granted I will say blk women I've noticed have been more on their shit then blk men. Regarding what Tyler perry said, I think people are over looking the fact that men and women are different. Nobody sees it as dating down if the man is making the majority of the money. That's because both men and women are hypergamous in different ways. Men value looks and beauty, women value resources and strength. But to say blk men don't wanna work is a WILLLD!! statement.
@zsazsa4159
Жыл бұрын
@@ramalellison9205 it’s a true statement, of course not ALL but most don’t, most don’t want to get up and go to a 9-5, I’ve had these conversations blk men will say blk women make more because we are “submissive “ to the white man at work and blk men aren’t… ask him what that means and it’s basically she goes to work everyday and does her job lol I had a blk man tell me nursing is a woman’s career meanwhile I work with Hispanic, Asians and African male nurses. They don’t value higher education, How about we stop making excuses for blk men Tyler could have used this time to encourage them to do something to bring themselves UP instead of telling blk women to be ok with a grown man who can only afford to contribute a couple hundred a month to a house hold
@UpwardPressure231
Жыл бұрын
You know what you want and still manage to get involved with the wrong men consistently right ? 🤔
@CharisMaggieTV
Жыл бұрын
Even when Black women are winning in life, it’s our job to make ourselves small and settle for the sake of having someone. I notice in these convos when they address black women, they rarely talk what men can do as well. Like paying a light bill? Really Tyler?
@beewest5704
Жыл бұрын
And what bothered me more is at the beginning of the interview the interviewer mentioned how Tyler Perry told her to level up to her husband's level.
@King-ww1kz
Жыл бұрын
If the Black Community is failing. No Black Person is winning. That goes both ways.
@CharisMaggieTV
Жыл бұрын
@@beewest5704 lol smh
@ecclairmayo4153
Жыл бұрын
@@beewest5704- what!? The shade this guy throws is ridiculous
@Darnell-j2v
Жыл бұрын
i just have a question ladies. when you step outside into the world are u just invisible to succesful men or something??
@katherinesavarese6009
Жыл бұрын
Just because tyler is ok with having affairs with men who make 10 times less than him, doesnt mean he needs to condemn all black women to that same fate 😂
@hnycrsps2658
Жыл бұрын
AHHHH😂😂😂
@nitradee317
Жыл бұрын
Right! 😂😂😂
@AmaryllisRose
Жыл бұрын
Thank you!!
@akilahbrooklyn8236
Жыл бұрын
This!
@abeck7929
Жыл бұрын
Be nice😂. Somebody in the other comment called him a DL booty bear😅
@atlfun08
Жыл бұрын
It’s just too close to…he doesn’t have a job! What? A light bill and dinner once in a while. Nice try Perry! The guys are gonna love you for this crap though. 😂😂😂
@cosmicbeauty5682
Жыл бұрын
Many of us seen what happened when Mary J Blige, Wendy Williams, Sherri Shepard etc married down... So I don't think it's a good idea to tell blk women to pretty much lower their standards in order to find love. It's like ppl look at us and feel since we're not always deemed "attractive" to many then we should just be happy with what we do get. That's really sad. I stopped listening to mess like that and thank God I did, because the moment I stopped and embraced my true authentic self and no longer tried to shape and mold myself to what a guy likes, was the moment I met my successful man who takes care of me and EVERYTHING else. Don't listen to these ppl ladies. Keep your standards and embrace yourself. The love and energy you give yourself, others will follow suit ❤
@aworte3266
Жыл бұрын
Gabby Sidibie and Serena Williams also married down financially and theyre happy. People tend to focus on the negative stories more than the positive ones.
@rockandfashion7207
Жыл бұрын
@@aworte3266they married down to multimillionaires though. Their spouses were already accomplished in their own right so they werent overshadowing them too much
@Tumblrsown
Жыл бұрын
@@aworte3266 Serena Williams is married to a multimillionaire worth 500 mill.
@michelross6987
Жыл бұрын
@@aworte3266 I thought their husbands were wealthy in their own right?
@cosmicbeauty5682
Жыл бұрын
@michelross6987 me too 😂
@redbouquetaida1598
Жыл бұрын
This is crazy. This is exactly why women have to drop 12 weeks old babies at daycare to run back to work. Some of us cannot afford to take the time to heal because we procreate with men who do not want to provide. Sad all around .
@ecclairmayo4153
Жыл бұрын
Yup, some even 6 weeks! I've brought up pregnancy a lot because it's the great equalizer regardless if a woman makes 200k a year, or 35k. You can't get around it. A woman must have at least some time off after having a baby and she is the only way a child can survive in its first few weeks. Men are limited to what they can do for a new baby, and while he is able to pay the light bill, who is paying the mortgage? It's the fastest way to put a woman behind. it's hard to catch up financially and impossible to catch up on sleep because she has unnecessarily stressed herself out with two children. No way to get around nature and logistics. MEN MUST WORK and make a liveable wage for a small family at least.
@Lisette121
Жыл бұрын
@@ecclairmayo4153agree 💯
@choconethotcoco4717
Жыл бұрын
If they did a study of black women of my big age of 59 and older, you will see my generation and my mom's generation will tell you that what Tyler Perry said DOES NOT WORK!!! Many women my age, including myself have lowered our standards and have ended up in a hellacous marriage that ended in divorce because of the cheating and outside babies!!! The fact is when a professional woman lowers her standards and brings a man of meager means into her life, the man resents his wife, becomes jealous of her, hates that she makes more money than him. Then goes out and finds a woman lesser than his wife because that woman makes him feel like she needs him. Being unequally yoked just doesn't work and the bible warns us that it doesn't. Yet black men keep trying to shove it down your throats.
@destineeallen88
Жыл бұрын
Why are black men so comfortable being referred to as “less than” or “dating down” is the real question. As a men I would be so upset if people thought of me like that.
@mourgie
Ай бұрын
They probably aren’t but being complacent is easier than changing.
@sheritownsend5359
Жыл бұрын
There was a survey done that showed approximately a third of women who marry, know beforehand that they are marrying the wrong person. Yet they go ahead and marry, anyway. We do not talk enough about the pressure society puts on a person to partner and have children, even if that person is not ready or doesn't want either. Per the census, less than 50% of Americans got married. Lowest ever. Some men see wives as resources or a convenience. This has been expressed on social media. People in some countries marry for non-romantic reasons. Some marriages are arranged. Marriage and children don't guarantee happiness. Many people in those situations are NOT happy and many single people are. Maybe we should look at why people get married, instead of pressuring everyone to do so.
@chardelinecaraballo9866
Жыл бұрын
the truth is partnering up is about survival of the species. we have to partner up and reproduce or the human race dies. I think we put too much pressure on marriage to make us happy. We can marry, have children and still make ourselves happy by achieving our own goals and dreams. It's not an either or. Some people find the love of their lives, some build a life and learn to love their spouse through the years. and some are happy with whatever arrangement they have with their spouse where both parties are satisfied. it's not a one size fits all formula.
@ecclairmayo4153
Жыл бұрын
Such an insightful comment! That's why it's not good to look at a couple and romanticize or idealized their life or how they got together
@GreenGorgeousness
Жыл бұрын
@@chardelinecaraballo9866you just romanticized settling. If we must settle to continue the species let it die out, imo.
@Babyshoes777
Жыл бұрын
Someone on another thread said: why would I take advice from a man who I’ve never known to date women? Honestly nothing needs to be said after that. Period.
@moneylineparlay105
2 ай бұрын
Bw literally follow dating coaches who don't date women
@Babyshoes777
2 ай бұрын
@@moneylineparlay105 Im a black woman and I don’t. So now what?
@jasminewilliams1673
Жыл бұрын
Is Maslows hierarchy of needs not a thing? Black Women are certainly the more educated group, but we do not make the most money on average. Also why are black men constantly sending messages about black women? Stop 🛑 talking to us! Focus on yourself and black men and youth. The community needs so much and it’s never more finger pointing needed.
@munaali840
Жыл бұрын
when you account for both unemployed black men and women, black women make almost twice as much as black men. if black men are employed they make the same amount, this is unnatural. 70% of homeless are black men
@pumpkin03
Жыл бұрын
Black women also have 100% of the Black boys who inevitably become part of the dating pool. Do we not hold any responsibility for raising them to become providers? Particularly since some of their fathers are not in the picture.
@CocoaBananas23
Жыл бұрын
If you want to go viral just say something negative about black women lol
@MakaykayLAMB
Жыл бұрын
I’m so glad I watched this video cos you’re so right. When things are SUPPOSED to happened, it’s not hard. It happens with ease.
@Nekole1
Жыл бұрын
We are expected to settle and expect less from BM. The bar has always been set low for BM. My advice for other BW who are single at this point is to either stay single or date out. Things have gotten worse in the BC and its not going to get better. I stopped engaging in these type of discussions but I also like to give my input from time to time whenever I see videos like this and to encourage other women who are NOT pick me women and are desperate for male validation to become pro self and dont listen to BM. They are ego driven and vain. Dont let these men stress you.
@ronnienorford256
Жыл бұрын
I can say the same thing to black men. Date out as well. Majority of black women aren't checking for you or they talk to you all kinds of way. A successful black men have less attitude when it comes to none black women
@PhatCat-n8g
Жыл бұрын
@@ronnienorford256ok say that. Go. We literally don’t want you lol
@malimal4972
Жыл бұрын
"Go ahead baby , keep your list , keep your list , hope it works out for you" - Tyler Perry
@kimleemoon
Жыл бұрын
@@malimal4972 she just said stay single or date out. Many Women nowadays, including bw aren’t afraid to be single. So this whole “that’s why you’re single” is a waste of BM’s breath and time. Many bw are buying into that bs anymore
@kimleemoon
Жыл бұрын
@@ronnienorford256 I don’t understand why a group of men that say they dislike bw are always up in bw spaces talking crap. Most BW don’t care if BM date out. We’re happy to let non-black women deal with the TRASH
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