(THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO ATTACK OUR SINGLE MOTHERS Holding it down. Yes, Men also play a ROLE. We as women also too.This is a discussion for our younger generation of women today. This is opinion based& within the community on the increase of motherhood over marriage & Babyshowers outweighing marriage.. Be blessed 💜)
@LL-zw2qb
Ай бұрын
Back in the day you didn't have baby showers for unwed mothers. I agree it has replaced the wedding because they know that a wedding ain't happening. I saw pictures of a baby shower that looked like it could have been Beyonce and Jay Z's wedding reception. The sad part was that the dad was nowhere in sight and they spent all this money on this glamorous baby shower and there were more empty tables than tables with people sitting at them. Even worse she had another out of wedlock baby 3 years later from a different baby daddy again with no marriage.
@2okaycola
Ай бұрын
That's sad
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
Wow 😳😳😳… That right there I have absolutely no words for. That is unfortunate but yet I bet no one in her corner told her that moving like this did more damage than benefit
@BlendedBarbieDoll
Ай бұрын
I’m tired of the excuses and lack of morals in our community. Irresponsible sexual activity is the cause…Period! You are not entitled to sex snd this goes for men and women. We know where babies come from with protect yourself fully or do not have sex. Stop bringing these children into the world only to instantly be met with drama, single parenthood, poverty, broken households. We continue to be the only people on the planet who defend this type of behavior. We have got to do better.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
All of this!!! … I agree. We definitely lack accountability but when it’s addressed, immediately people shut down this type of conversation. Its the “old way of thinking” or labeled as “Hate” and justified… It’s frustrating because we are greater than this… we as people point fingers at each other instead of addressing and humbly correcting our own roles in this. Until people can be vulnerable enough to do this, our community will continue to fail
@Ladyhotfire78
Ай бұрын
Exactly, then we get mad when we’re seen as degenerates.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
@@Ladyhotfire78that part!!!👏
@shaungarrett5291
18 күн бұрын
Well it starts with the women. 70% of women are having children out of wedlock with 15% of men. Somehow the men get blamed. How does the minority get the full blame?
@2okaycola
Ай бұрын
Men will demand their needs be met IMMEDIATELY but are totally willing to delay YOUR NEEDS for YEARS based off some bs allotment of work you're supposed to meet while they're allegedly wooing you 😅😅😅😅
@DimeDiva777
Ай бұрын
Wow! This was a touchy topic forsure! But a honest one. I’ll say this… Life Happens! And unfortunately we have a lot of single mothers making it happen the best way they can because these men DO NOT STAND UP when it matters! Thats why I chose not to live with a man before marriage.. it’s too easy to slip up in a living arrangement and men get too comfortable to the point that they get too laxed and lose urgency in asking for your hand 🙄
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
Yes that’s true. I totally understand we live in very modern times. I just get tired of black women being the poster child for baby mama culture. I’m tired of seeing mainstream glamorizing it to the youth as if it’s a badge of honor.. I understand life happens so this isn’t a one size fits all thing.. I’m not slamming single mothers.. I just want change for us in general. We’re worthy of being wives too! We aren’t only good enough to carry these children but not to wed!
@Raebannd
Ай бұрын
@@charlenicole 👏🏾 amen
@DimeDiva777
Ай бұрын
@@charlenicole say that again!!!!
@justjameka7961
Ай бұрын
I went a step further and saved myself before marriage. Yes, I am divorced after 9 years and having his 3 kids due to his toxicity however, I am proud of the fact that our children were born under the covenant of marriage as God commanded and I see the blessings all throughout my children as far as their gifts and talents and their personality!❤ They are destined for greatness by the Most High and I was able to legally get what I needed out of my now ex husband.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
I love that! Like I said life happens! It’s amazing that you and your ex husband were able to establish a beautiful family “together”. I love that! Even though you guys didn’t work out, your children witnessed and experienced a family dynamic.. They still have you both supporting them and you guys had to do what was best for you both to be happy and to continue to be the best version of yourselves for those children💜👏
@justjameka7961
Ай бұрын
@@charlenicole Amen! Thank you!
@erikarichardson4267
Ай бұрын
I’m a PROUD auntie. I go to the ball games, and bday parties, They call me and ask for whatever and I do what I can. I been to plenty of baby showers and we can still have community in that way. The kids in my life not going without PERIOD, BUT I will not be a mother before being a wife. I’ve watched women I love struggle and it’s not for me. I won’t do it and I urge others to do the same. It’s okay to not want the same struggle of others and the women in my life that are single mothers don’t want me to be one too cause that sh.t hard lol.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
Yes! I have witnessed family and friends struggle and I chose different. I was also told many times not to fall into the trap! So I made the decision to avoid it.
@hellzbelle229
Ай бұрын
Same here! I support folks where I can, because the kids didn’t ask for that struggle, but I decided early that I wasn’t going to be anyone’s “baby mama.” I know marriage is no guarantee of success, but just like I wear a seatbelt even though they won’t save you in all situations, it gives you some legal rights and improves the odds.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
@@hellzbelle229yes friend! Same!💜🤝… it’s hope knowing we still have women who stand on this and expects more than the dysfunction thrown in our face to brainwash & set us up to fail
@shaungarrett5291
18 күн бұрын
Marriage leads to families which builds communities. We cant have communities without Marriage. Sorry.
@karenmassey8354
Ай бұрын
I don’t understand this behavior. Why do these women have babies by men who won’t provide or marry them? Like, why are they even speaking to the guy in the first place if he has shown that he isn’t interested in being a present husband and father?
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
Yes.. I see younger girls a lot of times allowing these young men who be in the streets and disrespect them left to right impregnate them. Then turn around and act like they don’t need the man but the underlining truth is that man never wanted them or the child 🤦♀️ … I’m just tired… it’s not cute! But these kids be on social media watching these antics and thinking it’s cute
@karenmassey8354
Ай бұрын
@@charlenicole But why do they think it’s cute when they clearly see other single mothers struggling? Is it considered trendy? I didn’t grow up in a hood so I don’t really understand the mentality behind this phenomenon.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
@@karenmassey8354 I’ll say this.. this doesn’t just happen in the “hood”.. I’m not from the hood either.. I’m suburb all day lol.. This epidemic still happened in my neighborhood and is happening all over the world.. it’s mainly due to either their environment influencing them or societal influences like social media. We have the young elites of this generation who poison the culture… Within the black community we see a lot of our youth mimicking these fake wannabes “Gangsters” and “whore-like” antics in mainstream and they popularize this toxic behavior as normal life..
@earphbound720
Ай бұрын
6:59 I’m sorry but a gay man cannot tell a woman anything about marriage. He needs to heal his own wounds and get his life together before he tries to help someone else. Sorry.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
Thankyou!!! I tried to give him the benefit of doubt but this is confirmation my first assuming reaction was on point!
@earphbound720
Ай бұрын
@@charlenicole it’s just wild these ppl be out of alignment with GOD but got all the answers to everyone’s problems except their own. GOD designed marriage for a man and a woman. He designed it before the baby… nobody can change that. 💕
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
@@earphbound720 I respect your pov! I get tired of us making excuses for the backwardness because it’s “sensitive”.. that’s why I reiterate this is not an attack but we need to be honest about the problems that keep being past down to the next generation… we will continue to fail as a whole the longer we ignore and don’t do better..
@earphbound720
Ай бұрын
@@charlenicole agreed sis! Thanks for the video and your honesty!
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
@@earphbound720 of course love! 💜🙏
@Demebeso714
11 күн бұрын
Speaking 100% TRUTH!
@charlenicole
11 күн бұрын
🙏🙏🙏
@Stachios77
Ай бұрын
Idk why this is still a disagreement😭 You can divorce or separate or even run away from a bad marriage. You will FOREVER be connected to your baby daddy and you will ALWAYS have to see him. You will NEVER get away from him fully because his child is an apart of him and he is a part of his child!! Likeeee😭I’m never gonna understand having someone’s baby who isn’t your husband. Labor don’t scare people? Might as well carry that man’s last name if you gonna carry and pop out his baby come on now😭
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
Right🤣🤣😭😭😂😂😂😂 Thank you friend! That is all is being said. We were called “pick me’s” for this conversation and unsupportive 😭🤦♀️… Nobody is judging anyone who has had babies out of wedlock but women who actually care about providing hope and better futures for the next generation of women, from either experiencing single motherhood or witnessing the struggle that comes with being a single mom shouldn’t be offended but in agreement that if you can avoid it, please do
@Stachios77
Ай бұрын
@@charlenicole thank you friend for having this conversation🫶🏾and omg you so right🤣 These convos are essential for the better of the community✨
@ke6264
Ай бұрын
I grew up strict Pentecostal and one thing that always stuck with me was there was absolutely NO baby showers for the girls who got pregnant out of wedlock. Shoot half of them were “sent away” and came back with a child not saying that was right but we never accepted the behavior by throwing them a shower because it sends a mixed message.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
Yea. I’m with you.. the whole sending away part is in my humble opinion a bit harsh because you still want to be supportive during that time but celebrating it is the problem. That young girl should feel the consequences to some degree to learn not to allow herself to repeat it..
@leauxdaniels8155
Ай бұрын
I seen so many baby showers where the man and woman is cutting a wedding-esque cake together because deep down the women knew that’s the closest thing they would get to a wedding reception.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
Ouch! Yeah that’s a hard pill to swallow as a new mom to know a baby shower is as far as it goes…
@jesswhycamarz
Ай бұрын
5:42 he ain’t said nothing, because he’s still co-signing having a baby with a man and being in a relationship ie-playing house.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
lol ok! I tried to give him the benefit of doubt but thank you for confirming my initial reaction was correct , Thank you friend 🙏👏..
@jesswhycamarz
Ай бұрын
@@charlenicole you’re welcome! Just subscribed, i really love your takes.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
@@jesswhycamarz Omg yay!! Thank you for joining the fam!! I truly appreciate you & your support!!! Seriously 🙏🙏🙏💜🙏🙏🙏
@tynaangelici3023
Ай бұрын
At least when you’re married, you can legally go after him for child support alimony, etc. I am entitled to my ex-husband tax return any stimulus money he is court order to pay me 25,000 and back Child Support .
@destineeslaughter6419
Ай бұрын
Queen has 2 kids. One with Clarence and one with Chris. Her husband prior. He did her horribly. Very abusive. She’s scared to marry again. My question is… you were scared to marry again buttttt you weren’t scared to have another baby?????
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
That part!!!!!! Oh ok! I couldn’t remember but thanks for confirming!😊…. The thing that bothers me is she has a whole living situation with Clarence, had a baby.. and idc what no one says.. Queens brand helped Clarence get to where he is and you telling me he still has no idea when he plans to change her last name??? He got her out here trolling about being a bride to be etc.. wild
@sayitasis8326
Ай бұрын
That’s how she rationalizes the fact he has no plans or intentions on marrying her sad
@destineeslaughter6419
25 күн бұрын
@@charlenicole he us definitely using her!!! I’m glad you see it too. He just gives me negative vibes.
@charlenicole
24 күн бұрын
@@destineeslaughter6419 yess friend! I definitely get those same vibes smh… he knows Queens fears and also knows she wants marriage again too… he saw opportunity in the beginning , took it and ended up getting her pregnant… why marry now if what they have going is working.. he’s not gonna leave her because it’s too beneficial to him… not saying he doesn’t love her but is he really in love with Queen???
@tynaangelici3023
Ай бұрын
We need to normalize shutting it down. Open your eyes and close your legs.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
Dang!!! That’s real! Friend said what she said!!! 💜
@QilinRider21
Ай бұрын
I only go to baby showers for the free food, the drinks and the cake. Baby shower cakes are phenomenal
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
🤣😂😭 Hey at least you being honest.. Baby shower food do be unmatched
@RestingVirgoFace
Ай бұрын
I've been 2 more weddings than baby showers
@tashibalampkin8555
Ай бұрын
6:51 - 6:58 You is too funny. 😂
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
😂 Friend I’m just saying though 🤷♀️ Lol..
@2okaycola
Ай бұрын
Guys always act right for the first couple years then they stop apologizing when they flip out at you for walking in the kitchen
@tynaangelici3023
Ай бұрын
Why can’t these men just wrap it up? They need to be held accountable not just the women. They can’t seem to keep it in their pants. They lack self discipline.
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
True friend. Yes absolutely, men need to be held accountable also. This particular video is just for us specifically. Here we wanted to focus on where we lack discipline and taking accountability for what we can control …
@Michelle-vr7rx
11 күн бұрын
People around me know not to invite me to no unwed baby showers. And i have no congratulations to give. I only congratulate bless situations. Marriage and covenant. It a disservice to the child they dont ask to be born in your messy choices.
@2okaycola
Ай бұрын
Your mic is too high but the imported audio needs to get turned up
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
Got it. Thanks love. I’ll be mindful of that. And try to fix it.. I’m still learning so thanks for making me aware
@chayalahthanaya9920
Ай бұрын
That dude is ZESTY!
@LemonRae33
Ай бұрын
🤣🤭
@tynaangelici3023
Ай бұрын
At least when you’re married, you can legally go after him for child support alimony, etc.
@BusinessBox13
Ай бұрын
Emphasizing marriage centers men & makes all of u sound like pick-mes. On the same token, acting obtuse about baby showers celebrating single motherhood is so intellectually dishonest! Let’s not act like the celebration is of new life, for getting gifts and necessities, and fellowshipping. It takes a village, 1 that apparently the lot of u were never part of. -An annoyed childfree auntie
@charlenicole
Ай бұрын
Did you watch the whole video? Just wondering… This has nothing to do with support or baby-showers in general. This is about making single motherhood a badge of honor to our young girls before they even establish a future for theirselves or creating a foundation before bringing another life into the equation… justifying this by saying we are pick me’s for addressing it and wanting more for the next generation is a disservice on your end… You used the word “annoyed” what makes you annoyed by this topic?
@janylakey
Ай бұрын
Long story short the reason we say have a baby wen ur married is bc its biblical it’s a sin to have sex outside of marriage but since the world does it anyways it’s best to have the child when your married simple as that
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