2:30 No Mark. No, none of us were wondering why you're doing it now. It's specifically BECAUSE of the scrutiny and public debate.
@ericawentz2734
2 жыл бұрын
“We are going to be the metaverse first. Not Facebook first. But don’t you worry, the self esteem of teenage girls will always be last!” Stephen and his writers are tragically accurate!
@QueenofNonSequitur
2 жыл бұрын
Best writers on TV!
@durmuskucuk7748
2 жыл бұрын
You are right
@jefschobert9765
2 жыл бұрын
That's why in order to endorse changing a products name, tampons changed their name to zuckerbergs
@marylamb7707
2 жыл бұрын
It's nothing new. It's been around for years and years.
@shahannahbreedlove4944
2 жыл бұрын
@@jefschobert9765 good one!!😀
@kristinLB
2 жыл бұрын
After being on Facebook for 10 years, I Deleted it in 2019 and never looked back. Now I’m even more glad I did!
@frankys1820
2 жыл бұрын
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@frankys1820
2 жыл бұрын
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@Vraii25
2 жыл бұрын
to put in simple term for gen z... facebook is Meta gaming
@ba177ba18
2 жыл бұрын
you are not the target market
@injunsun
2 жыл бұрын
It's still a relevant way for us shut-ins to converse with the world.
@randolphphillips3104
2 жыл бұрын
So the selling point for "Meta" is "illegally stream a concert to your friends without them buying a ticket and paying the musicians and crew".
@mwilson7842
2 жыл бұрын
Oh no. The end of live concerts?
@randolphphillips3104
2 жыл бұрын
@@mwilson7842 No more so than pirating killed recordings, but still stealing.
@andrewrlitster9966
2 жыл бұрын
100% I worked for security at a powderfinger concert and the band , made security had to stop any filming of the concert. It w was tuff getting 3 eryone to put there phones down.
@DeAnne1233
2 жыл бұрын
Updated Napster plan. Ya know, that one his friend tried before getting sued and shut down. Bye, bye, bye…
@anthonyitaliano7316
2 жыл бұрын
I don't think that's what it was portraying. You're not going to be able to project a 3D virtual world with your phone just because you're there at the concert. It's more like the band will have the technology setup at the venue so they can charge people to watch it virtually.
@realtijuana5998
2 жыл бұрын
"Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell." ― Edward Abbey
@evatripp7788
2 жыл бұрын
And all U.S. Socialpathic/ Psychopathic businesses. They are drug addicts and always FEEL THEY NEED MORE MONEY & POWER!!! What they ACTUALLY NEED a HUGE DRUG INTERVENTION by OUR CONGRESS, OUR LAW ENFORCEMENT & MOSTLY the AMERICAN PEOPLE!!!
@martinlarson9138
2 жыл бұрын
@@evatripp7788 q
@somethingclever4563
2 жыл бұрын
Great quote
@chuck5279
2 жыл бұрын
Agent Smith's Corollary: "Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment; but you humans do not. Instead you multiply, and multiply, until every resource is consumed. ... There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern... a virus."
@somethingclever4563
2 жыл бұрын
@@chuck5279 Ha! That was the first place my mind went too lol
@MsShellectable
2 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg looks like he's been taking his "act human" lessons seriously.
@smartiee74
2 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@Lord_Ronin_The_Compassionate
2 жыл бұрын
Perhaps, so why is he still failing so badly?
@axelfoley133
2 жыл бұрын
To be fair, the lessons are computationally complex and involves a recursive, adversarial algorithm looping through countless iterations to optimize the behavior for maximal reciprocation.
@Surge1077
2 жыл бұрын
He still has a long way to go.....
@nataschavisser573
2 жыл бұрын
Also came here to comment that the lessons clearly didn't take.
@heyheytaytay
2 жыл бұрын
"I don't want to TALK ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE..." that was truly visceral, Stephen.
@socraytes
2 жыл бұрын
He doesn't have to talk about it, *but* he loves that paycheck so he does what he's told.
@strangepattie
2 жыл бұрын
I feel it too, Stephen.
@OlEgSaS32
2 жыл бұрын
@@socraytes so...any job on this earth then
@thelexicon7294
2 жыл бұрын
So, Zuck just sat there thinking of the most ominous-sounding company name straight out of the darkest arc of a dystopian comic series, huh?
@kcmichelson4528
2 жыл бұрын
Even social media has to be a Cinematic Universe lol
@skoll_2024
2 жыл бұрын
"When someone tries to tell you what they're like, listen"
@MTMF.london
2 жыл бұрын
Is it my imagination or Zuckerberg looks like David8, the android in the Alien franchise?
@carolyngarman1422
2 жыл бұрын
This is one of the best I've ever seen. It expresses our frustration and the utter insanity of the current situation in a histerical way.
@gimmedimmy6533
2 жыл бұрын
An hysterical way*
@carolyngarman1422
2 жыл бұрын
@@gimmedimmy6533 glad someone can correct my grammer
@amphoteric1729
2 жыл бұрын
In official English grammar, ‘a’ should go before a word starting with a consonant (all letters in the alphabet except the vowels) whilst ‘an’ should go before words starting with a vowel (a, e, i, o, u). However, in some English dialects that don’t pronounce the ‘h’ in many words (e.g. Cockney English), then ‘an’ can be used because the ‘h’, a consonant, is ignored. In most major dialects (Commwealth English, American English), “a hysterical” is correct.
@gimmedimmy6533
2 жыл бұрын
@@amphoteric1729 Mine would be that dialect. I'm not American. I know it's archaic English but it's just a preference. I probably should have said "A hysterical" given it's the most commonly used phrasing but I just wasn't that invested until now lol.
@didntlistendad
2 жыл бұрын
@@gimmedimmy6533 maybe kinder and in better keeping with the fun mood to focus on the ideas offered and not a tiny surface error?
@Lucius1958
2 жыл бұрын
*"I never metadata I didn't steal."* - Mark Zuckerberg
@pemdechen6300
2 жыл бұрын
Oooh..... Good one!
@EmpyreanLightASMR
2 жыл бұрын
I never metadata didn't buy dinner 4
@vironx22
2 жыл бұрын
As a dad whose son did start having a British accent after he watched peppa pig, he truly hit the nail on the head.
@caitlinburke5184
2 жыл бұрын
My child did too.
@telectronix1368
2 жыл бұрын
I've said it before but Peppa Pig is the UK's retaliation for Barney.
@caitlinburke5184
2 жыл бұрын
@@telectronix1368 barney was a menace. Melted my brain as a child, it was torture
@y_fam_goeglyd
2 жыл бұрын
@@telectronix1368 my kids (we're British) all refused to watch Barney. All did it individually, they were either not interested and would toddle off, or would cry! I was hoping that once my granddaughter had got past the Peppa stage I'd never need to see it again (she's a brat! Peppa, I mean), but then my daughter had another "surprise" two years ago. You should see my Xmas list for her... I'm in Peppa up to my ears!
@missybarbour6885
2 жыл бұрын
This happened to me with a show I watched as a toddler called "Kipper". Started calling gas "petrol"
@amyavital1236
2 жыл бұрын
In Hebrew the word Meta means “dying”.
@leogama3422
2 жыл бұрын
Seems fit then
@jordanlazaruk4775
2 жыл бұрын
Wow
@missgolgistain5801
2 жыл бұрын
But who will it be? We or them?
@blessingomoyemen1759
2 жыл бұрын
In Yoruba(Nigeria) it means three or threefold
@laalaa99stl
2 жыл бұрын
Metaverse: to take your mind off how badly we effed up the real one.
@annmarieknapp
2 жыл бұрын
Nice one!!!!
@Chunkboi
2 жыл бұрын
Wouldn’t the Metaverse be effed up faster?
@maskedmarvyl4774
2 жыл бұрын
You can thank Joe Manchin for the death of the most progressive part the plan that would have aided poor people; he's also the one who blocked taxing billionaires, because those are his donors. Thanks, Joe. Meanwhile, West Virginia, my mom's home state, remains one of the poorest in the country. Manchin's voters can thank him for keeping then that way.
@JamailvanWestering
2 жыл бұрын
Not just Joe, blame it on Corporate and Moderate Democrats, especially Sinema
@brentsdadgets2658
2 жыл бұрын
I live in northern WV, and I have been calling and writing Manchin’s office constantly. He doesn’t seem to understand that all of these social safety net programs would benefit WV more than almost every other state. He wants to rip all the green jobs out of the bill because he doesn’t own any of those. Coal companies, though…
@GHinWI
2 жыл бұрын
I blame Sara Gideon, Jaime Harrison, & Theresa Greenfield
@dannywalden7063
2 жыл бұрын
@@brentsdadgets2658 me too
@dannywalden7063
2 жыл бұрын
@@brentsdadgets2658me too
@petergodfrey8610
2 жыл бұрын
The writers are killing it!
@timeless215
2 жыл бұрын
i agree! todays monologue was so fun
@karenwhinesmore9347
2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@JoelHernandez-yl6yw
2 жыл бұрын
I was thinking the same thing!!! 😂
@jessejameskaine
2 жыл бұрын
Hit and miss.
@gabitron182
2 жыл бұрын
Right!!!
@Bejunckt
2 жыл бұрын
This is the funniest monologue in a while 😂 Some of those good old satire-punches are back.
@Mandrake591
2 жыл бұрын
Best monologue Colbert’s done in ages!
@cathieludemann5879
2 жыл бұрын
With Facebook and Zuck, he had a lot to work with! 😄 Great job, Stephen.
@edezagon
2 жыл бұрын
The crowd was lovin’ it!
@lorrainethomas8797
2 жыл бұрын
Almost like being back in the storage closet.
@roshnipatel1590
2 жыл бұрын
I agree. He was hitting it out of the park today!
@petedog9581
2 жыл бұрын
When you are getting too much bad press and are on the verge of being regulated, you launch a new name platform. It is like the furniture store that has liquidation sales every year and comes back with new names.
@MonarchRigel
2 жыл бұрын
ah yes. the "that was Facebook, we are Meta." defense.
@davidlickiss1609
2 жыл бұрын
Aannnnddddd...... Mark will be the CEO of Meta and someone else will go to Congress to testify as the CEO of Facebook
@ElPayasoMalo
2 жыл бұрын
You US pulled that with France. After France went into debt fighting the British for the US, and then overthrew their royals based on the example set by the US, the US had the balls to tell France that since they aren't technically the same governement that helped, then the US doesn't owe France anything.
@fredherfst8148
2 жыл бұрын
Trying to stay ahead of breakup that's coming
@maryelizabeth6797
2 жыл бұрын
It will be used.
@OzzieTheHead
2 жыл бұрын
lol, obv that would not hold up in any court
@yesloow
2 жыл бұрын
Stephen's "Do it or don't do it! I'm Out!" about congress and their incessant hemming and hawing is exactly how so many of Americans feel right now. If anybody at my work spent so long doing absolutely nothing, and then never compromised with co-workers on projects, and basically ignored 70% of the client's input and wishes, that person would be out of a job. What are these people in Congress doing? They want pats on the back when they pass a bill? Get over yourselves, congress!
@pd4887
2 жыл бұрын
I just realized zuckerberg has that non blinking long stare that only psychopath and sociopaths have.
@bonnieb9238
2 жыл бұрын
Yep snl makes fun of it all the times. The skits are funny
@mnichols1979
2 жыл бұрын
Reptiles really don't blink much
@jbarnhart2653
2 жыл бұрын
And actors, if you blink normally, you look nuts... Howard Stern made fun of an acting video (Michael Caine) he had bought before his movie, on Letterman. "Ha ha, this is so stupid, he says just stares and stares and..." In the movie...did exactly what Caine said, rarely blinks and works at "closing" his eyes instead. Zuck just paid somebody to watch the video... "And?" "DON'T BLINK" "Gotcha..." Same in commercials, even Stephen when his doing a bit or setting up a joke. The Zuck is just bad at it...
@steven0837
2 жыл бұрын
...and corporate billioinaire's
@thatthingthatisaid65
2 жыл бұрын
Zuck has 6 blinking sessions per day, in a cryogenic chamber, alongside Humanoid Studies 101 metacare.
@stevencahn4019
2 жыл бұрын
"By far, bigger than any bill passed to fight climate change before..." Sounds impressive, until you consider what a low bar that truly is.
@jaydub5515
2 жыл бұрын
You're a Wizard, Henry... That's why Colbert is King
@TyrSkyFatherOfTheGods
2 жыл бұрын
On FIRE tonight!🔥
@PraiseTheFSMonster
2 жыл бұрын
Well, his writers.
@Rimmsolin
2 жыл бұрын
Seems like Colbert is really on top of his game and enjoying himself.
@TehLucario
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks Manchin and Sinema for keeping us all screwed for going to college.
@raggedcritical
2 жыл бұрын
Look, buy a coal mine and maybe Manchin will see what he can do for you.
@bbirda1287
2 жыл бұрын
@@raggedcritical Or outsource a pharmaceutical company and send American jobs overseas. He might pay you a million dollar bonus!
@marvinmartion1178
2 жыл бұрын
But they're corporate masters are happy!
@alexdasliebe5391
2 жыл бұрын
Oct 28th they’d not said they’d vote “yes”. Head of The Manchin Crime Family & Petulant Child are standing in the way of Biden’s agenda.
@Toneloke-3000
2 жыл бұрын
Thank the Supreme Court for selling out this country, our politicians, our infrastructure and now they're working on our rights. Do you ever notice how there's always at least one obstructionist for getting anything non-corporate done? It's by Design.
@Vespuchian
2 жыл бұрын
I still fully expect to hear "After months of argument, debate, negotiation, and multiple rewrites of one of the most extensive reform bills in US history, Congress has finally agreed to... do nothing at all."
@randyeisensmith1483
2 жыл бұрын
I have a good suggestion for a new name for Facebook - "Cesspool"! Truth in advertising!
@thesubhumancomedy
2 жыл бұрын
pimplecalendar eyesite readingwhile - now one handed.
@jaguarrose7022
2 жыл бұрын
When you're used to getting NOTHING anything can feel like a lot but this bill is grossly inadequate. It's been so painfully watered down. It's sad.
@neiloflongbeck5705
2 жыл бұрын
In the UK we keep renaming schools from X Secondary School to Y Academy to distance the school from it past failings. Same location, pupils and teachers, and quite often same buildings. But it does create a new set of data on performance.
@celticcheetah6371
2 жыл бұрын
Ha yes. I taught English in a seriously rough school in East London, which had 3 names in the three years I worked there. First change was because some of our kids got recruited into ISIS and became jihadi brides, second change because four of the five most senior teachers (including the head/ principal) were caught giving kids the answers to GCSE maths exams/ tampering with exam papers afterwards and were fired. The final straw for me at that place was when a horrible girl squirted hand sanitiser into an autistic boy’s eye during my class. He, quite reasonably IMO, punched her in the face. School suspended him and did not punish her in any way, because they were frightened of her father, whose response to his three children’s consistently awful behaviour was to constantly threaten to sue the school, which he did actually do earlier that year over a violent incident with another of his kids. So I had the utter f*cking indignity of sitting in a “restorative justice” meeting where the Head of Behaviour MADE A JOKE to the girl about how she should “leave your hand sanitiser in your locker from now on”. Didn’t matter how nice the new logo was, by Name Three it was still an arrant sh*tshow and I’d had enough. Phewf - it appears I had stuff to get off my chest there ahaha. Sorry for the essay 🤣
@Sylfa
2 жыл бұрын
50% emission reduction would still leave usa as emitting 85% more greenhouse gases per capita than Sweden does in 2021. It's not precisely impressive when usa who has been the top emitter for ages until not too long ago is improving themselves to still not being better than other countries. Still, have a participation trophy 🍹
@craftergin
2 жыл бұрын
So the “meta verse” is basically a reboot of Second Life.
@MichaelFlynn0
2 жыл бұрын
cue boner storm
@armandomercado2248
2 жыл бұрын
AKA "Get a Life"
@jayweh
2 жыл бұрын
what's second life?
@JayPeG._
2 жыл бұрын
@@jayweh VRChat
@TheMyrmo
2 жыл бұрын
@@jayweh A video game from 20 years ago.
@Seahorse0418
2 жыл бұрын
I wish I could have “liked” every joke. I think this might be the best monologue ever.
@Seldomane
2 жыл бұрын
When Zuckerberg did the outfit thing I swore Stephen was about to do a 'skeletons in the closet' joke.
@steverogers6572
2 жыл бұрын
Zark Muckerberg lmfao
@MildMisanthropeMaybeMassive
2 жыл бұрын
Or a Karate Kid joke.
@tweaker1bms
2 жыл бұрын
Or something about Mr. Pumpkins
@chapablo
2 жыл бұрын
"we were put on this earth" hits different when Zuckerberg says it.
@krejados1
2 жыл бұрын
Well, I guess... if he has the power to reshape the world, he may as well claim the right to determine why we're here.
@shadowsun5704
2 жыл бұрын
🛸
@Montesama314
2 жыл бұрын
"We were put on this earth to create... A WAY TO CONQUER YOUR PRIMITIVE SPECIES. We will do so without firing a single shot."
@SpaceForceCommander
2 жыл бұрын
Matt Gaetz is going to use that word often - “Meta? I hardly know her!”
@grahamcampbell8297
2 жыл бұрын
Hahahahaha!
@timbeaton5045
2 жыл бұрын
Meta Gaetz?
@mr.mrs.d.7015
2 жыл бұрын
Hahahaha
@annmarieknapp
2 жыл бұрын
:)
@LizzyMcD
2 жыл бұрын
“I don’t want to talk about this bs anymore”. Stephen Colbert. I totally agree
@Metalbass10000
2 жыл бұрын
I've never had a Fakebook page either. I've never felt like I was missing anything. Still don't.
@x5775
2 жыл бұрын
Yup... F#@k Facebook!
@Viking_Niels
2 жыл бұрын
Metalbass10000 Because you have no friends in real life.
@AloisAgos
2 жыл бұрын
Well you are missing social inferiority, hate speech, batshit conspiracy theories, awesome life stories that you will never live, and of course grandma pestering you why you haven't added her as a friend yet.
@Viking_Niels
2 жыл бұрын
@@AloisAgos Who wan't a grandma and mom who lied about who cannot find out who's ther real dad is? - If i was in my homeland, I've shooted myself for long time ago, since I am on country with restrict law of weapons, I am still alive. - Haven't your mom or dad ever told you: never judge a book by it cover?
@malcolmxxx86
2 жыл бұрын
@@AloisAgos been on fb since 2009 and all i see are my friends posts, and some food and music sites...nothing political or anything else that many people are seeing...not sure why ... also ,same goes for the friends I actually keep in touch with regularly...I've found people I grew up with or went to school or worked with
@kimesch9698
2 жыл бұрын
Do people recognize how talented this man is. Wow, he was really on tonight.
@kaiozab4866
2 жыл бұрын
How old are you, 50?
@MrFancyFingers
2 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg is the king of cringe.
@susanfrancis5471
2 жыл бұрын
I think zuck shaves his forehead
@smiller2044
2 жыл бұрын
Jorge of Albion not sure about that... "Ted" Cruz is also top of that list...
@carolwilson5546
2 жыл бұрын
Eeewwww, yes!
@AdrianColley
2 жыл бұрын
Or "kringe" if you will.
@mikeballew3207
2 жыл бұрын
@@susanfrancis5471 and eyebrows apparently?
@BootCampSpecimen
2 жыл бұрын
“Why? It’s just the Blue Origin rocket” haha!!
@MrPhotodoc
2 жыл бұрын
$1.75T is about as much as the Pentagon spends on a couple aircraft carriers. Don't see much coming from that.
@elfsong713
2 жыл бұрын
Nancy Pelosi is parading out and saying, you'll take these crumbs and you'll like it!
@paulfoley9370
2 жыл бұрын
@@elfsong713 Please, because the Republicans, including Sinema and Manchin, won't let us actually pass anything.
@bjornsantens9030
2 жыл бұрын
And less than the 2T $ ...which was the bipartisan tax cut (mostly for the top 1%) from the Trump government
@elfsong713
2 жыл бұрын
@@paulfoley9370 News flash: Nancy and Biden have the same corporate donors as Manchin and Sinema. They were only pretending to fight for us.
@elfsong713
2 жыл бұрын
@@bjornsantens9030 The trump tax cuts which the Biden administration has now made permanent. Happens every time. Same thing happened with Bush and Obama.
@craigburghardt8604
2 жыл бұрын
"Speaking of theoretical magical universe where things might happen one day . . . Congress" Segway mastery!
@heyheytaytay
2 жыл бұрын
We all know that changing the name of a notoriously evil company always works #blackwater
@RogerHerzler
2 жыл бұрын
We’ve already seen this. It was in Ready Player One, and it’s called OASIS. “I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. I didn't know how to connect with the people there. I was afraid, for all of my life, right up until I knew it was ending. That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it's also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real.” - Ernest Cline, Ready Player One
@LLO227
2 жыл бұрын
Good God I love this man's enthusiasm!!! Stephen tells it like it is!!! We're all tired of this government pending items falling from the vending machine hijinks!! enough already
@user-ll7zc4hw6g
2 жыл бұрын
Definition of "meta": (of a creative work) referring to itself or to the conventions of its genre; self-referential. "the enterprise is inherently “meta,” since it doesn't review movies, for example, it reviews the reviewers who review movies" Self-referential - yeah, that's Zuck.
@zesty9815
2 жыл бұрын
Meta: also a brand of slug poison.
@amberandrews6842
2 жыл бұрын
In Hebrew it means dying
@MayThereBeWorldPeace
2 жыл бұрын
Yes, the rich and bored are constantly wanting new "toys" to play with. Mark is sure loving "playing" with real lives.
@thatthingthatisaid65
2 жыл бұрын
Why hasn't zuck blasted off into space yet?
@sorasorisora
2 жыл бұрын
he's the master of the real Squid Game
@injunsun
2 жыл бұрын
@@sorasorisora Nah, that's Bezos.
@Taijifufu
2 жыл бұрын
I mean...a Quest is subsidized down to 300 bucks. Don't need to be rich for that.
@phriedokra6158
2 жыл бұрын
Like playing Army with real live moving Army pieces....
@duvessa2003
2 жыл бұрын
“River. What river?” ❤️ u Stephen Colbert. Comic genius!
@laalaa99stl
2 жыл бұрын
I've never Meta Zucker that I didn't wanna punch.
@nikobatallones
2 жыл бұрын
I present to you Zucker from Animal Crossing. :p
@SpaceForceCommander
2 жыл бұрын
Everyone wants to Zucker punch him.
@warpedjaffas1
2 жыл бұрын
I think Zuck isn't as smart as some folks think he is. Facebook is like Google's poorer aunt. He's no Musk or Gates. He got lucky, moved to fast & broke to many things, without thinking of consequences.
@MIIRAPOSA
2 жыл бұрын
I thought this was an antisemitic joke at first
@haveagoodday5737
2 жыл бұрын
When Mark says "full eye contact shared sense of space" look over his right shoulder. On that shelf is a bottle of barbecue sauce WTF😂
@tadnanny4511
2 жыл бұрын
Wait y'all didn't even show Jon after that? He couldn't have been like, "I know that guy!" and then they clap for Jon.
@kindabluejazz
2 жыл бұрын
Showing Jon right then might be perceived as a tie-in to CBS/The Late Show officially endorsing the Zuckerworld. Jon must have personally licensed that clip for the Meta ad fully independently of CBS.
@tadnanny4511
2 жыл бұрын
@@kindabluejazz Ah, that makes a lot more sense now. I couldn't figure out why then of all times they wouldn't celebrate their friend.
@blaizel3748
2 жыл бұрын
@@tadnanny4511 He's not their friend just the token black guy
@MIIRAPOSA
2 жыл бұрын
@@blaizel3748 There is....more than one black band member in the show..
@RoninMike-DR
2 жыл бұрын
@@MIIRAPOSA he's still "the token black guy"
@ThisCharmingMan1984
2 жыл бұрын
It’s quite disconcerting, just how much that Zuckerberg video, looks like something you’d see in a dystopian science-fiction film; complete with an animatronic simulation of how actual humans function, in the ZuckoTron5000, that doesn’t quite get the simulation right, and indicates that something much darker is going on underneath the overly shiny exterior… It does rather feel like we’re currently living in, what will eventually be known as, the “Before Times”; every time I think “Yep, this has got to be as bad things can possibly get”, it’s like reality sees that as a challenge.
@dunnbrandon
2 жыл бұрын
so, Mark, here’s a new concept, how about, “Actual Reality”
@richiejohnson
2 жыл бұрын
Well, Brandon, your name's time has finally come! I checked your profile, expecting a recent account.
@lostandwastedtime
2 жыл бұрын
Reality is overrated.
@GHinWI
2 жыл бұрын
Harder to monetize actual reality
@abram730
2 жыл бұрын
Fly me to Mars and have a cartoon give me a lap dance on Mars. Can reality do that? I'm 45 minuets from my job, but rent is getting crazy, so I'd like to move 2 hours from my job, but I want you to cut the commute time to 1 minute so I can spend more time with my family. Can reality do that?
@kronicpain7357
2 жыл бұрын
Dude 52% emission reduction by 2030 is amazing!! I’m a kiwi living in Australia and I’m disgusted by the Government saying 27% reduction by 2050. Most been done from one state stopping land clearing and Feds counting some land never going to be cleared as not cleared as well as carry over credits. Also 70% out of 100% is technology with 30% of technology not even invented yet. They won’t tell us the people plan details or how much cost to get coal co-party, coal lobbyists and fossil fuel billionaires on board.
@alex35agm
2 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg says being on Meta will be like being in a room with other people,or what people used to do before social media.They met,they talked,they flirted,and sometimes got married.It was having a life.
@LVArturs
2 жыл бұрын
cringe. give me the black mirror version already.
@RoninMike-DR
2 жыл бұрын
Plot twist: Zuck was showing us the real world and we are inside his simulation.
@laurenpinschannels
2 жыл бұрын
VR chat is that already and it's great, Zuckerberg wants his control back and that's why he's making something to destroy VR chat.
@0BucketMask0
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, cause I can just walk across the ocean to meet my friend in England for lunch. Maybe I'll invite my German buddy, too. He can backpack across Europe in time for tea.
@abram730
2 жыл бұрын
VR is the first tech to allow social interaction remotely. Funny because we have social media companies, LOL. Social media taught people how not to be social, but now social is being released for social media, so people can learn to be social again. Now that is the meta joke.
@w.d.g.
2 жыл бұрын
Stephen is a genius; "Dr. Horsey's Microchip-Resistant, Ball-Shrinking, Anti-5G Suppositories."
@yankeeladee02
2 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg: “All that damage I caused…Mehhh, doesn’t META.”😏
@warpedjaffas1
2 жыл бұрын
Perhaps in the metaverse he fronts Congress instead of going sailing?
@breakkid144
2 жыл бұрын
so this "new" metaverse thing, is actually just vrchat.
@auroraofclanborealis
2 жыл бұрын
VRchat without what make VRchat good
@MarioDarnadi
2 жыл бұрын
Metaverse is not new... it was here before VR chat, right now just Zucc needs to make virtual world so he can act like he has friends
@sadscientist9995
2 жыл бұрын
Those plain avatars they showed in meta trailer... you know people are actually gonna be running around as big t1ts sonic.
@sleeve9097
2 жыл бұрын
true
@abram730
2 жыл бұрын
It's a meta of VRChat. The portals go between different games, and you can bring things between them. You will be able to work remotely.
@bravo-93
2 жыл бұрын
Oh that guy is hilarious even pulled Blue Origin into this mess. I’m cracking up lol
@heatherallen2236
2 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg sounds like a Real Housewife... "We need to keep moving forward this season"
@patsylvest
2 жыл бұрын
One of Stephen's best monologues!
@zainlookboonmee
2 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg literally talks like Trevor Noah's impression of him.
@warpedjaffas1
2 жыл бұрын
In the metaverse a shark eats Zuckerberg when he's water skiing with ole glory
@StellaMariaGiulia
2 жыл бұрын
Facebook changing name is the real equivalent of Bond villains telling their evil plans: they started out ranking your face and now they're more about profiting from your metadata.
@mmartinezPhysics
2 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg is one lab accident away from becoming a supervillain.
@Mandrake591
2 жыл бұрын
He IS a supervillain!
@ReezeGoingSenseless
2 жыл бұрын
"less than half of the original plan" No, way less.This started out as 6T$, not 3.5.
@akb5531
2 жыл бұрын
Is suckerburg a real person? He came across as a total automaton trying to be a friendly human.
@KristiContemplates
2 жыл бұрын
Sociopath/psychopath is the leading theory amongst the masses
@anniejayy9559
2 жыл бұрын
Facebook is the worst, it doesn’t matter what they call themselves.
@sonnyjohnson8887
2 жыл бұрын
Google, Twitter , Amazon does the same . All are huge data farms . We are screwed . decentralized blockchain is the only place to control your own data
@nadiavoun7137
2 жыл бұрын
Well, Mark's skin still fits fairly well. Even though he doesn't blink like a real human.
@injunsun
2 жыл бұрын
#V
@mr.wonderful4737
2 жыл бұрын
i heard its stuffed with money to make him look young
@Lucky_Chase
2 жыл бұрын
That's because he sleeps on thin slabs of tofu.
@Lucky_Chase
2 жыл бұрын
@@mr.wonderful4737 It's stuffed with his "styles!". Then he starts making explosion noises, and wanders off to fight his imagination.
@mr.mrs.d.7015
2 жыл бұрын
Lol yeah but the scalp cap is slipping back
@fattmusiek5452
2 жыл бұрын
around@11:40 , the upright bassist is bopping sooo hard.so great
@lambdamax
2 жыл бұрын
Ahh yes... rebranding instead of restructuring the business model. #progress
@cynthiaromero2658
2 жыл бұрын
Rebranding so much cheaper.
@agrey832
2 жыл бұрын
1:35 C'mon man, that joke was genius!! Should have gotten more laughs 🤣
@NewMessage
2 жыл бұрын
That Avatar looks much more realistically human than the actual Zuck.
@gamepapa1211
2 жыл бұрын
👏👏👏👏
@warpedjaffas1
2 жыл бұрын
Zark Metaerberg of the MetaFacebookverse would find this insulting
@vforwombat9915
2 жыл бұрын
because it is.
@brianhard1841
2 жыл бұрын
The new logo is copied from Australia's Australian Broadcast Corporation's logo and has been so ever so long. Although no one has drawn as they have on Zuck's as his sucks?
@scratchy996
2 жыл бұрын
I can only imagine how hard those aliens are laughing at us. They sent an android that looks nearly human to our planet, and he almost took control of our civilization.
@vgaportauthority9932
2 жыл бұрын
I'm here for the drummer getting his grove on with the tambourine. Hells yes.
@jasonarthurs3885
2 жыл бұрын
I still assert that Facebook's name change is to avoid pending legal troubles.
@alexdasliebe5391
2 жыл бұрын
Oh, I’d not heard that . As an added thing: good luck explaining to Granny that the name is changing.
@LeftIsBest001
2 жыл бұрын
Mark 'Meta' Zuckerberg is a defective Nexus 5 replicant. 🤖
@NewMessage
2 жыл бұрын
'Bipawtisan'? The dogs aren't the only ones dropping steamers on the carpet, I see.
@gmmg8734
2 жыл бұрын
This is like that episode of South Park where Cartman fuses with a trapper keeper and just grows into an abomination and never can be destroyed
@IsThisHandleTaken
2 жыл бұрын
"no paid family leave"... gotta make sure America stays in the stone age eh Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema
@marvinmartion1178
2 жыл бұрын
You have to ask they're corporate masters that question.
@Coni2009
2 жыл бұрын
Genuinely surprised that paid maternity/paternity leave isn't a thing in the USA. I genuinely thought it was universally recognised as a 'good thing', I honestly can't imagine what people have against it
@potatowithgooglyeyes2458
2 жыл бұрын
@@Coni2009 people are just greedy for money
@FlowerGirl.MN50
2 жыл бұрын
Keep us poor and struggling.
@ApeSapiens
2 жыл бұрын
That logo is legit from a game called "startup company", they just switched it from orange/red to blue.
@B__C__
2 жыл бұрын
I guess if we want the other 2 trillion we'll have to vote more Republican's out of Congress.
@FiferSkipper
2 жыл бұрын
Along with Manchin and Sinema. While Manchin has always been a gigantic piece of turd, Sinema is a backstabbing lying hypocrite.
@chloekey8043
2 жыл бұрын
Yes yes yes. Save our democracy. Vote the corporate Dems out, they’re just as bad
@kuistancfraine3488
2 жыл бұрын
Yup, that's what needs to happen. Vote blue!!
@shawnbunn4966
Жыл бұрын
STEPHEN breeze breezy 😍😂 beautiful Friend Shawn 2 King Joshua tree. Show.
@matttheking1655
2 жыл бұрын
This monologue had me rolling......😂😂😂
@sammyt3514
2 жыл бұрын
So they always cut to Jon Batiste for reaction in awkward moments and the one time it would've been appropriate to see his reaction (i.e. when he appeared in Zuckerberg's video) they don't cut to him! Weird.
@gemelwalters2942
2 жыл бұрын
lol I know right, for a minute I was wondering whether he wasn't there tonight and then they got to the end and I was like...."that was weird".
@melissaandrade2579
2 жыл бұрын
Who doesn’t love this man? Lololol! Colbert your awesome!
@bbirda1287
2 жыл бұрын
To meta is to game the game, I don't think Zuckerberg is that Overpowered yet. Fingers crossed, get on it Antitrust busters.
@aspektx
2 жыл бұрын
"Who you gonna call!"
@williamcrisp6032
2 жыл бұрын
They 'll get on working out how much bribe money they'll ask for to just ignore everything
@longlivedemocracy756
2 жыл бұрын
Stephen’s monologue was on 🔥 tonight! 😆
@batgurrl
2 жыл бұрын
Stephen you are on fire here🔥🔥 It’s moments like this when I miss Evie sitting off on the side cracking up instead of the audience.
@zesty9815
2 жыл бұрын
9:37 _"If you believe in yourself, and have clear eyes, a cold, wet nose, and a shiny coat, you can't lose in the Congressional Halloween Dog Parade."_
@eigensinn83
2 жыл бұрын
Angry Yoda: "Talk about this I don't want any more! There is no try"
@darinasilvaz730
2 жыл бұрын
My fav part of my morning! These are on point every single day!
@SpaceForceCommander
2 жыл бұрын
Demand more because that Infrastructure bill has been gutted so much, all the people get are crumbs.
@tiny99990
2 жыл бұрын
"theoretical Fantasy worlds where things might happen" *IS* actually the most descriptive intro Congress could have... We should put that on the Capitol building, next time far right insurrectionists take over the building they could say that they visited a theoretical fantasy world and not the Capitol building.
@arcturionblade1077
2 жыл бұрын
Magnetic balls means no more clangin' around.
@Darknamja
2 жыл бұрын
And the ability to always be pointing to true north.
@hollyb6885
2 жыл бұрын
7:00- 😂 My grandkids talk with an English accent after watching Peppa Pig too.
@Iamrightyouarewrong
2 жыл бұрын
Remember that bill was proposed at 6 then went to 4 then to 1.75.
@mariesia0525
2 жыл бұрын
If they started at 10 maybe they would have ended up at 6 or 4?
@Iamrightyouarewrong
2 жыл бұрын
@@mariesia0525 no.
@DGDfan13
2 жыл бұрын
The American people are so unacustomed to our government actually HELPING us that we consider this to be a win. Do not reward Congress for doing less than the bare minimum. This has been the norm for decades because WE THE PEOPLE allow it to happen. Do your research and vote them out. We need new blood in Congress desperately.
@moto50forReal
2 жыл бұрын
Is it just me or does Mark Zuckerberg remind anyone else of Brent Spinors “Data” character .
@donsurlylyte
2 жыл бұрын
apparently most of us
@whosaidthat4299
2 жыл бұрын
Data had charisma.
@katiearbuckle9017
2 жыл бұрын
I mean Star Trek is feeling more like Reality everyday. So, I can't disagree. But let's give it 4 more centuries. See where this takes us. After all we're still in the 21st Century, let's savour it while it lasts.
@brhwork
2 жыл бұрын
Spot on! The best monologue to date. Thank you for the delivery.
@terrierqueen4091
2 жыл бұрын
"What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." --Shakespeare. Really? Even if you re-"brand" yourself with the same name as a bank that charges the same interest on refund advance loans as the one that tanked in the 2008 financial meltdown? Zuck, take a cue from show business: if it doesn't scan, the critics will pan. Never been on Facebook, but this epic fail should be fun to watch from a distance. 😉
@RustOnWheels
2 жыл бұрын
3.5 billion addicts are. They will not leave, unfortunately.
@ericminch
2 жыл бұрын
As long as the only comparison made is with Tr*mp's "Truth Network", Meta is going to look golden.
@fillhixx
2 жыл бұрын
AKA: putting lipstick on a pig.
@CloudsGirl7
2 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately, too many are indoctrinated and won't give up Facebook no matter how evil it is. Facebook needs to go down for good.
@fillhixx
2 жыл бұрын
@@CloudsGirl7 When you can’t save everyone, work on saving someone.
@markiliff
2 жыл бұрын
3:58 Imaginary friend: Hey, are you coming? Right answer: No, it's just the way I'm breathing
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