Great video! One thing: at 13:30, you described your son's tears as "crocodile tears". I looked it up to double check, and crocodile tears are, by definition, insincere. Apparently people used to think that crocodiles would weep to lure in their prey. I'm pretty sure you did not mean that your child was fake crying to manipulate you. lol
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
YES!!! Someone pointed this out in our live chat!!!!!!! Literally the opposite of what I meant! Lol. I mistakenly thought crocodile tears meant "big tears" So now I am relying on people to understand through the context what I meant there! Learn something new everyday and I think it's great for people to see mistakes and imperfection in others and for us to come together and help each other out when it happens!
@Sparlock42
5 ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNt That's a really interesting misunderstanding. I can see getting that impression if people assume that your tears are insincere and use that word to describe you (especially in an incredibly emotional moment!), but you miss out on the subtext that think you are faking it. Which, in context, would mean that they assume you are being narcissistic when you're just being autistic. lol Thank you again for a wonderful video. Just got through it, and I found the context very illuminating in how I've evaluated myself over the years.
@AmandaSeacrist
5 ай бұрын
Oh my gosh! I thought they were big tears too! I also learned something new today! 😅 You get another thank you from me, Chad! 😃
@AmandaSeacrist
5 ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNtI literally thought the same thing 😅
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
@@AmandaSeacrist glad to know I wasn't the only one 🤣
@bigbear9775
5 ай бұрын
Narcissist: it’s your fault ASD: it’s my fault but I don’t get why
@danika9411
5 ай бұрын
I know someone who is a textbook covert narc ( who cones from a family of narcs ) who blames others for everything and is always the victim. You have to walk ok eggshells around him and can't say anything that could hurt his ego. He is together with someone who is autistic and now thinks he is autistic as well, because he likes structure. I was really thinking sometimes if I just judge him wrong. But he reacts like the narc in this example. It's confusing.
@tjzambonischwartz
5 ай бұрын
@@danika9411the thing is Narcissism and autism aren't mutually exclusive. My dad is both.
@danika9411
5 ай бұрын
@@tjzambonischwartz Yeah it's just he doesn't actually meet the diagnostic criteria for having autism. He knows that, but then he also looks down on therapists and psychologists and completly dismisses therapy or any outside help. He first talks in a degrading way, then becomes "tired" and changes topic in a whining voice. 10 seconds later he is all energetic again.... It's a play. Why he doesn't match the criteria for an asd diagnosis: he is really good at reading others cognitively and really good at reading the room. Which is why he makes friends fast. He just can't keep friendships, because he feels attacked by others and it's always the others persons fault. He has a fragile ego and you can't critisize him at all or he lashes out. He has no cognitive dysfunction in any way, can ve spontaneous without stress and go from one task to the next without problem. He is very good at improvisation both practical and in social situations. F.e. he is normally game master when playing pen and paper roleplaying games, because he is good at acting and can mold himself to whatever is needed in the situation and improvise. He is a social cameleon. What is true is that he is highly sensetive. I suspect he has spd, sensory processing disorder. He checks of everything for that. But not for autism. He is mirroring his wife atm. She is asexual, so he decided he is asexual ( even though he tried hard to have an affair in the past.... ) She doesn't want to have children, so he doesn't want to have children anymore ( even though he wanted to always be a father ), she is autistic, now he says he is autistic. It's a pattern. I have no contact with him anymore atm. It's just sad to see all of this going down. I'm worried about his wife. She developed depression and started to feel drained and anxious in that marriage. She can't currently work due to that. I think it's him draining her. But she is too manipulated by him, that he is the only loving, decent man out there that would accept her.... This is complicated. Sorry for the long post. I know you can be both. I think this is not the case in this specific case.
@3RR0R210
5 ай бұрын
OMG! Yes! I spent two years being told asking for clarification or to repeat cause I didn't hear was aggressive. Then asking what was aggressive was aggressive. After a year and a half I finally got that the tone of my voice was the problem. Another 6 months and divorce later I finally am told it's cause my voice gets deep. Thanks for that info finally ..
@ellem8990
4 ай бұрын
@@danika9411I've never heard of narcissists adopting things from others like that (maybe to some extent), but of course I'm not a professional. Outbursts and lack of sense of self are symptoms of BPD tho. I'm saying this, because I used to think my mom might be a narcissist until I actually read about BPD (I kind of knew about it before). She does apologize tho and has gone to therapy, so I guess that's potentially a difference. I do wonder if narcissists sometimes go therapy for sympathy or because they have other issues or do they all usually avoid therapy like they're above it (my brother does seem to think that and he seems more like a narcissist, which helped me see that my mom likely isn't a narcissist). I know I'm not supposed to be diagnosing people, but when you grow up in a toxic environment I think it's normal to want to make sense of it and to figure out if you should cut some people out.
@leilap2495
5 ай бұрын
I have a neurodivergent, covert narcissistic dad. I have come to the understanding after many years being perplexed. His neurodivergent traits make way more sense than putting down family members and friends every opportunity he has. I realized that I was only an object to him, only there to serve his needs. Great video
@leilap2495
5 ай бұрын
I want to add that my dad was tormented by his parents. They burned his special interest in art and film supplies and forced him to focus on the subjects he was struggling in. I have recently come to the realization that he has dyscalculia, along with a speech impediment, and undiagnosed severe ADHD. I was able to explain dyscalculia to him, and he seemed receptive, but his self and other hatred continues at his age.
@chinmeysway
5 ай бұрын
tried doing therapy w him? hope there is hope. not to seem to excuse anything for him but ppl can change they just have to learn how. it’s not easy for everyone to, takes time.
@personneici2595
29 күн бұрын
My ex husband seemed to be both too. The ASD, MDD, and anxiety disorder get blamed for everything (and thereby also blamed me for any objections) but it doesn't cover it all. I was stuck for 14 years blaming myself because my mother also seems to have covert NPD and groomed me perfectly for his abuse. 💔 I also have ASD
@mattduncil
5 ай бұрын
Confronting a narcissist is a monumental task, there sword is sharper then yours and they want an excuse to use it. If you do manage to make a point that hurts their ego they are going to really go after you. If you’re socially awkward, or have other aspects that aren’t socially normal then that’s something that can and will be used against you, to turn others against you. So while it may be necessary to confront and stand up to a narcissist, think it through and seek help from someone who’s qualified like a therapist, psychologist. Even then be careful.
@thepragmatist
5 ай бұрын
I agree with this. I do think confronting a narcissist is important at times...we shouldn't always stand down because it's easier. But you have to be careful and having a strategy definitely helps.
@camellia8625
5 ай бұрын
I think it is best to do whatever you can to not to have to deal with a narcissist. Easier said than done if you are married to one, related to one or work with one.
@mattduncil
5 ай бұрын
@@camellia8625 that is true, in my case it was a mother in law, not anywhere as fun as sitcoms make it seem
@Tilnaor
5 ай бұрын
That one-upping behaviour hit home hard. And people never understood that it means I want to understand them, and show that I _can_ relate to them not just talking about that.
@tjzambonischwartz
5 ай бұрын
Covert narcissism can ABSOLUTELY co-occur with autism, and can develop when an autistic person is raised in a certain type of upbringing where their needs aren't met. My dad is one of those people. He has unmistakable PDA AuDHD, has OCD, and is also a covert narcissist. There's a video on Instagram about the Autism to Narcissism pipeline that describes how this happens and it describes my dad's upbringing to a T. In fact, it helped me put a lot of pieces together. Until seeing it I realized the degree to which his narcissistic traits and the resulting abuse caused me to be blind to OBVIOUS autistic traits and it's only now that I've been no-contact with him for five months that I have enough space from the situation to recognize a lot of things for what they are. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of abuse and internalized ableism to turn an autistic person into a narcissist. Leads to them becoming ableist abusers themselves.
@SeeingBackward
Ай бұрын
I'm curious how you'd be able to tell that a covert narcissist has AuDHD? A covert narcissist by definition is highly attuned to social cues and uses them to manipulate others, which is basically the exact opposite of the social aspects of autism. Autistic people can, and very often do, learn to exhibit machiavellianism as a masking trait, reflecting how they are treated back to others. Some might term this 'ableism', some others term it co-narcissism. They're essentially stuck in a system of unforgiving rules, as opposed to a true covert narcissist that is actually bending the rules for self-serving reasons. These can seem identical from the outside, especially if one doesn't know exactly what they'd be looking for.
@lost_boy
5 ай бұрын
I always thought I was narcissistic until I discovered I am autistic. I guess I spent so much time thinking about myself and why I do the things that I do (and tbh still do this all the time) so that made me feel incredibly selfish and self-centered. Glad I was wrong about that! Your pink hair looks amazing, by the way!
@danielaspitz3052
5 ай бұрын
My Nex (a covert) was inofficially diagnosed on the autism spectrum by someone he calls a friend, they "know" each other for about 20 years and is a Psychologist. When learning, ie realising that my Nex is a Narcissist (same type with my mother, btw), I wrote long texts about the differences. I knew them due to early narcissistic childhood abuse by my mother AND from being with an Aspergers man for five years. I just knew the difference. I have Cptsd, am an HSP, Introvert and neurodivergent, btw. In my worst struggling times I seemed to be Autistic and a Borderline personality. And since I was little I was a constantly swinging between being a dreamer (ADD) and hypervigilent like an ADHD person. After finally being able to leave this "man"after being suicidal for more than two years ON TOP of my lifelong depression and suicidality, I understood my whole life in retrospective and it hit me incredibly, because I finally understood all the horrible, to others totally invisible things my mother has done to me since I could barely walk and probably even before this time. I researched just like you did and I still can't fully let go lf the topic. I'm almost fully healed, though and happily married to an amazing, my first healthy man, ever.
@erickrick3901
5 ай бұрын
ASD is more likely to be comorbid with cluster A and C, however ASD and cluster B cooccur. Cluster B disorders are the result of early attachment trauma, and I personally consider cluster b disorders to be neurodevelopmental disorders that are structural in nature (ie alter the developmental course of major neural pathways). My spicy take is that cluster B’s are neurodivergent + attachment trauma + no understanding of their neurotype + environmental and situational context + age of any acute relational trauma that lead to their cluster b trait makeup.
@derekf9017
5 ай бұрын
Yes
@veronikaljungberg7149
5 ай бұрын
Yes, Will be very interesting to see if science will head in this direction and give more clarity to this. I am a late diagnosed Autistic Female with attatchment trauma and before diagnosis I had a lot of coping mechanisms that were narcissistic. It was as if I was slowly becoming a narcisst. Although I never intentionally wanted to control or manipulate.
@danika9411
5 ай бұрын
There was a study done to see if the brain of people with NPD is different and it actually was according to the study. The part where self-reflection and some of our social functions sit like empathy is underdeveloped. I found this interesting, because in NPD missing self-reflection really is a problem. I hope there will be more studies in the future. A bit offtopic, but for sociopathy/antisocial personality disorder there are studies with neurofeedback which are promising. In short the amygdala is overactive ( fight, flight response sits there ) and it is able to shut parts of f.e. the frontal lobe down in order to survive. Our social functions sit there. If you can calm down the amygdala ( it's a bit more complicated like that, I shorten it a bit ) down, your social functions like empathy, compassion ect come back. There are a few studies about that.
@danika9411
5 ай бұрын
@@BipolarCourage Yes, that is exactly what that is. C-ptsd is at the core of sociopathy.
@danika9411
5 ай бұрын
@@BipolarCourage No it's 2 different diagnosis. C-ptsd simply means ptsd that doesn't come from a single traumatising event ( shocktrauma like a car accident f.e. ), but from many events over a longer period of time. F.e. if you grew up in a home with a violent parent, then you have several maybe 100 different situations that contributed to your ptsd making it more "complex" hence the name complex ptsd. Normal ptsd has fear at the core, conplex ptsd often also has shame at the core like feeling like you shouldn't exist, have no place in the world ect. Most personality disorders have c-ptsd at the core, not just BPD. But most people with c-ptsd don't have a personality disorder. F.e. antisocial personality disorder often forms in infants age 0-1 years old. They are traumatized so heavily, unfortunately often being sa, heavily neglected, hit, screamed at ect, at such a young age, that they are emotionally stunted and never develop certain abilities due to their trauma preventing that. F.e. they don't develop the understanding that others don't exist as an extension to themselfs, but are their own person. Often they go into shutdown ( part of our freeze response ) and get stuck there, never get out of that again. This means that they can't develop certain abilities like emotional empathy. Instead they are using cognitive empathy ect. So this is the difference between sinply having c-ptsd and a personality disorder. Because for the longest time there was no c-ptsd diagnosis, especially women who were sa and had c-ptsd, they were diagnosed with BPD instead. It just officially exists in the ICD since 2022 ( most countries who are part of the WHO use the ICD not the DSM ). I the DSM it's still not added today, which I hope changes in the next version. Also neurodivergent women are often misdiagnosed with BPD and bipolar instead of autism. There are quiet a few misdiagnoses when it comes to BPD, which is probably why people at one point wondered if BPD isn't simply c-ptsd. There are distictive differences between someone with BPD or any cluster b personality disorder and someone with c-ptsd. Mostly regarding the self, having an authentic self and having hit most milestones in emotioal development. Like no black and white thinking, being able to regulate shame, understanding people aren't an extension of yourself ect. Sorry for the wall of text 🙈
@azarahwagner2749
5 ай бұрын
Well … as a person who grew up with narcissistic parents and has AuDHD , I can say that all the Autistic people I have met and myself are not narcissistic but we are easy targets for abuse . A child who is over praised and led to believe that they are above others becomes narcissistic and or sociopathic.
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
I address some of what you're talking about in this video
@BBWahoo
5 ай бұрын
Ah. I was victim to my own grandeur, you are correct in your assessment
@SeeingBackward
Ай бұрын
Narcissistic people train those around them to BE abused, and succeed even with adults. If your parents narcissistically abused you as a child: not only are you less like to notice abuse in the future, you're more likely to actually find it comfortable in a way that NT people think of "home" when it starts happening.
@3RR0R210
5 ай бұрын
I'm dealing with this. My wife had an affair, when I found out she launched her attack. She started saying I was a toxic narcissist, i have ADHD, discovered in my initial autistic exploration and am gifted, currently looking to get an exam/diagnosis. She knows this. I explain everything she says is narcissistic with autism. She told me I sicken her, and that autism won't hold up in court without a diagnosis. I have been researching narcissism to see if I was one, but the more I learn, the more I realize how abusive she really was. If anyone knows a place anywhere I can be examined for Autism with having the other two, that would be super helpful.
@chinmeysway
5 ай бұрын
why worry about thinking something’s wrong w you? you were hurt and probably prey of emotional abuse. either way court just wants two ppl to come to agreement and stick to facts. they don’t want to really consider personality disorders or autism as layers much. it’s infidelity.
@Mode-_-Geek
5 ай бұрын
The narcissistic one is your wife It sounds like. When my ex-husband cheated on me, he made me believe I was the problem. They’re really good at manipulating reality, gaslighting, making you doubt yourself, and projecting. She’s hoping you will give up so that she can just win by default. Don’t let her fool you. My ex made me fall apart because I didn’t understand that he was manipulating my emotions because as an autistic person (who didn’t know it at the time), and someone who did not understand narcissism, it worked on me. I regret that I let him push me into giving up and being intimidated. It let him get away with adultery and stealing a settlement from me for an accident I was in and he never faced any consequences. It took me far too long to see how abusive and intentional it all was. Also seek a psychologist that deals with autism diagnosis. I would call around for one. They can be pretty booked. In the US at least, they are the ones who do the testing. Good luck 👍🏻
@milkywayranchsc
5 ай бұрын
A nueropsycholgist is the specialty that usually does the autism testing. They are expensive if insurance doesn't cover it. So find one who takes your insurance. If you already had extensive skills testing regarding adhd, I would start by asking that dr if the evaluation already done was the same test.
@milkywayranchsc
5 ай бұрын
As far as court goes, your diagnosis is probably not relevant. Her infidelity probably is. If you can get solid evidence of that, maybe hire a PI, that could be helpful. I'm not an attorney, that's my lay person's non expert opinion.
@3RR0R210
5 ай бұрын
Thanks for all the helpful words and advice, friends. I'm shocked at how the more I learn about narcissistic behavior,the more I see what was done to me.❤️🥄✝️
@kensears5099
5 ай бұрын
Definitely not a topic to shy away from, good for you! So, so true. The differences are crystal clear to me, as well as why and how the confusion arises between the two. I've been through the mill, frustrating certain people who wanted, practically demanded more of me, on their terms, when I never even initiated the relationships nor had any interest in "conquering" anybody to be my narcissistic "trophy." Since those experiences I've learned, paradoxically, to be even more aloof, reserved, self-contained and "non-signalling," so as not to provide ANYBODY with the least excuse to accuse me of playing with their minds or setting them up for a fall. It's actually a wonderful freedom I enjoy now, having settled that firmly in my mind. Discovering my autistic status about a year ago was the key. Now I know so much better just what it is I'm NOT beholden to do in relationships and why. It's so much better for everybody, especially me. An autist's attempts to be politely attentive (out of fear you're not reading the signals right) can be the road to utter misery. Often it's far, far better to just not try and "read" at all.... There's a blessing in invisibility.
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
Conquering someone as a narcissistic trophy was a powerful representation. I agree with everything you've said here. I too have to get "chased down" for friendship because I almost never initiate. After someone has sufficiently chased down my friendship I'm capable of initiating texts, but That's about it and it's still a 20/80 split. That alone seems completely narcissistic. Like "I'm too important to be bothered with you.. You must come to me!" But that's NOT at all what it is!!!! There is beauty in letting go of burdens we carry for SURE
@kensears5099
5 ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNt 🙂
@heedmydemands
5 ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNtyes I'm like that too, it's like I can't b bothered but I really just have so much going on, or it seems like it to me, sometimes not much seems like a buttload to me
@katharinegates2917
5 ай бұрын
Thank you Jen for this video. I am self-recognized as Autistic at age 59, only coming to that understanding recently because I no longer have the ability to mask and "front" the way I used to. Yet I think I also have a lot in common with narcissists. Here's the thing: My mask in my 20s and 30s used to be confident, charismatic, somewhat arrogant and definitely very self-involved. After all I had been praised for my intellect since I was a young girl and had gotten pretty good at looking like someone who wasn't confused about social rules and missing loads of emotional/social information. I covered over my confusion with being a jerk. I was frequently told I was rude, selfish and controlling. (Men are more likely to get away with this, but that's another story.) Vulnerability was extremely dangerous and I had been the victim of abuse by others in my teens. I didn't trust my own judgment so relied on others to tell me if I was doing a good job or not. I sought out praise and admiration in order to feel safe and was able to get it because of various types of privilege. This certainly looks a lot like narcissism, doesn't it? Yet, I fretted about being a narcissist for years. I wanted to be a better daughter, lover, wife and mother. I worked hard to be better to others and to admit my mistakes. I learned how to be vulnerable and more gentle with myself and others. I still fail in the cognitive empathy area, especially when tired or stressed. I sometimes wonder if my self-improvement is just another way to get the praise I crave. I suppose by definition narcissists "cannot" grow out of it, cannot tolerate that kind of deep work. Does that mean I was never a narcissist? Or could narcissistic traits co-exist with and/or conceal/be concealed by high-masking autism?
@veronikaljungberg7149
5 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing, I have a very similar story to yours. Which is why I think its possible that some NPD are actually undiagnosed autistics.
@cindy3933
5 ай бұрын
I am diagnosed with ADHD and suspect I have autism. I also have a lot of traits of covert narcissism (I have trouble apologizing, feel extreme envy, have a persecution complex, all that jazz minus the lack of empathy, so not a full blown narcissist). My question to the community is: why does the difference exactly matter? If someone is hurt by someone else's lackluster apology, them making the conversation about themself when the hurt person needed support, or their sensitivity to criticism/rejection and the hurt person feel bad, does it matter if the person who did the harm was autistic versus NPD? The intent doesn't undo the impact. The reason I bring this up is because I find it troubling how so many autistic people and/or people wirh ADHD view Cluster B's as irredeemable people when they do so many of the same things. What is different in practice by the harm caused by rejection sensitivity from a childhood of criticism for not following social orders and narcissistic rejection to sensitivity caused by having an abusive childhood? Does knowing that difference undo the harm to the hurt?
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
This is a great question
@thepragmatist
5 ай бұрын
This is a great question. I don't know if it does make a difference.
@JonBrase
5 ай бұрын
The intent makes no difference to the impact, but it does make a difference as to the possibility of repairing the relationship.
@amys0482
4 ай бұрын
Late to the party, but I have a perspective here. Autistic people don't get a free pass when they injure or offend someone, even if it is unintentional. Learn from it and apologize. Narcissistic people are problematic because they can't apologize, will reverse victim and offender, gaslight, and so on. People can be both autistic AND narcissistic. In that case, the narcissism overwhelms the autism and makes communication and conflict resolution impossible. There is a difference between appearing not to listen or care and actually not hearing and not caring. A narcissist is the latter.
@kuibeiguahua
5 ай бұрын
You are so lucky to be able to dive into Brooklyn 99 for the first time
@jgthree
5 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video. It has been the single most helpful resource for framing what went on in a former friendship that ended catastrophically. I kept wanting to believe that this person was just undiagnosed autistic (as I suspect myself to be) and deeply traumatized, but her actions reached a level where I could no longer torture my mind into making that calculation. I STILL don't want to believe she was a covert vulnerable narcissist the whole time, but you've moved the needle as close to acceptance as it's ever been.
@EleaSuJa
5 ай бұрын
Thank you, this helps explain a lot, my older brother seems to be full blown NPD, but also shows traits of ASD, so does my mom. It is so confusing with these two. My dad, younger brother and I have shown traits of ASD in different degrees for the most part, and I have been preparing to meet a specialist for an official diagnosis due to my struggle with my monotropic traits. Seeing how some of the traits stand out against each other makes me want to understand more about what I am dealing with.
@notsillyone
5 ай бұрын
Thanks Jenn! Your video is very re-assuring because there have been times others have assumed by my actions that I was narcissistic. But that has usually been from people that don't know me well and have not seen me exhibit all the actions you mentioned that a narcissist wont do, like admitting mistakes. Unfortunately, I had the displeasure of working for a narcissist, and laughed when mentioned "circular conversation". He did this all the time, even if you wrote down what he said at the beginning of a conversation, and then showed him that he just argued against himself he would deny that's what he said. Most of what I know about narcissists comes from that one bad boss. But its thanks to having conversations about his bad behavior with my wife, that she recognized what he was, and gave me tips for dealing with him. Without my wife and videos like yours and Dr Ramani, I would still be very confused by and not able to spot a narcissist.
@nate2838
3 ай бұрын
I love that you have links to other sources. Thank you :)
@NoCensorship
4 ай бұрын
You’re videos are great and much appreciated
@starfoxloves
5 ай бұрын
This was a really wonderful exploration on this topic, thanks Jenn! I saw the Doctor Ramani video when it came out, and I agree it was really well done also, but its so helpful to hear it from an autistic perspective! My ex husband was a narc and I am autistic. I've been wondering about the connection between autism and vulnerability to narcissistic abuse for a while. I also hope to see more studies on this in the future! Thank you for all the hours you put in making this and all your videos! 🩷✨🙏
@nate2838
3 ай бұрын
Speaking of mixed relationships. It always blew my mind how my ex would want me to ask about her day. If you have something you want to talk about, just talk about it. "Not asking about my day means you don't care." NO, not asking about your day simply means I didn't ask about your day. If you start speaking about your day and I listen, that means I care. If I don't listen, then I either have something on my mind OR I don't care. IF I don't listen it would always be that I had something on my mind consuming all my attention, and though I usually do have something on my mind, it was rare that whatever it was was more important to me than connecting with her. I'm AuDHD. Basically, with me, my not doing something means absolutely nothing about whether or not I care about it. Doesn't matter how important it is to me, if it isn't directly related to survival ie feeding my cats, I may or may not remember. Cats don't pout in a corner if you forget to feed them. They let you know they are hungry. She had accused me many times of being a narcissist, even though I was virtually always willing to set aside whatever I had going on to help her when she needed it, emotionally or otherwise. Keep in mind, this was also at a time when simply continuing to exist took everything I had, and I'd still drop everything for her. While there is value in learning how NTs function and think, I'm tired of being the only one doing the processing for both sides of the relationships.
@ew4243
5 ай бұрын
Agree these two diagnosis are totally different, but I think somebody can have both (commorbidity!)
@rainbo777
5 ай бұрын
Instant Like when you said you’re giving us a list of sources/other videos on the topic as well. You care about us actually learning 🙏 thank you
@Green_Roc
3 ай бұрын
I dont live in other people's shoes, and I shouldn't speak for anyone else. There seems to be a conflict between the idea of not being selfish, and not speaking for others. I usually dont get along with Narcissists, they tend to boss me around and lie to me. I have so much empathy it hurts. My self esteem is so low... I dont care how I look. I was dx'd autistic over 20 yrs ago. I was once called "manipulative" when I was trying to get accommodations. Been called "Princess" and "trying to be spoiled", neither of which is true. I'm slow to recognize when I am faced with a narcissist, or a bully. And I'm also slow to know I need to pull away from whomever is a narcissist and a bully. Slow to watch my KZitem inbox, a month since you had uploaded this video. Actively in the process of getting a narcissist out of the position of having authority over my finances, as I am an adult dependent on payees, and someone is being narcissistic up in the group of people working with my Financial Trust and I am going to fight to have this one narcissist forbidden from working on my case, and I am trembling at the thought of being subject to this narcissist's ideologies I dont agree with when she might be angry that I reject her. Urgh. Non-verbal social cues? I'm totally blind to those things. Face-blind too. Yet I got really good visual memory, outside of faces. I'm misunderstood, a LOT. I got accused of some lies earlier today too. I'm 46, will the misjudgements ever cease?! I'm autistic, I care so much it hurts. "1-up" the heck, why does anyone do that? I been accused of doing that, and I NEVEr do. I share my story to relate, not interested in a competition. Frustrating when people misjudge me. This video feels so accurate to my understanding of myself (autistic), and my experiences with narcissists (including but not limited to one of my cousins).
@AnthonyWade7
4 ай бұрын
11:34 my grandfather told me I was a bull in a China closet. I couldn’t understand what he was saying to me. After I finished cleaning up the spaghetti I dropped, I went skating through the house, to the bathroom, in my socks on hardwood floors. The good ole’ days.
@EamonWill
5 ай бұрын
10 seconds in Wheezing with laughter. I'm going to like you! 🤣
@anjachan
5 ай бұрын
that´s exactly what I had in mind recently. So thank you very much! And I love your pink hair.
@SweetiePieTweety
5 ай бұрын
LOVE the hair 🩷💕🩷😁 Excellent breakdown. It is muddy and I appreciate your due diligence and willingness to crawl into the mud pit for the betterment of knowledge of mankind on this tricky subject. A special interest of mine and pet peeve subject. 👍👍
@milkywayranchsc
5 ай бұрын
Yt app is not letting me thumbs up for some reason. It lets me comment though. Big thumbs up to you.
@paulinejulien9191
3 ай бұрын
I was diagnosed autistic about 4 months ago. I’m 99.9% sure my father is autistic too (has all the traits) and I’m 99.9% sure my mother is NPD (has all the traits). Where it becomes complicated is I have good reasons to believe my dad might be NPD as well (abusive and incapable of taking accountability/showing remorse for it, disproportionate sense of self and constantly feels ‘disrespected’, which is how he justifies when he used to hit me as a kid etc), and good reasons to believe my mother might also be autistic… my ex-best friend is very likely autistic (intends to get formally diagnosed after having been told it by a therapist) and she’s also quite abusive in some ways, although I don’t believe she’s NPD. All I’m trying to say here is it’s a complicated subject, and I’ve gone low contact with all three of these people because they had a toxic influence in my life 😭 I don’t buy the narrative that autistic people are too “naive” and pure or lack social skills so much that they can’t purposefully harm others, like we’re some sort of angel species. My dad’s definitely autistic and is definitely not a good person, and I’ve heard lots of similar stories 👍
@cblaney3931
5 ай бұрын
Great video. And great new hair colour!
@lyndseywilliams3618
5 ай бұрын
The pink hair is super cute
@amandab7101
5 ай бұрын
Ha, I just started Brooklyn 99, too! The pink is supe cute! I wonder whether pink or silver eyebrows would complete the look. Sorry, I love hues and can't help but notice. Anyway, I just realized I haven't subscribed and will as long as I remember to do so. Thank you for the PDA-friendly request. And you're really making me think I need to try to figure out my dad better. He definitely has an empathy problem (and traits...).
@lauraburystedmundsyoga8231
5 ай бұрын
Damn I missed the live! This was an interesting topic for discussion. BTW love the pink hair 💚
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
Thank you! Sad we missed you in the live stream but glad you came to watch the video anyway!
@gerardlewis-fitzgerald7757
5 ай бұрын
Particularly liked the misconstruing that can result from the autistic person's attention to detail being seen as controlling but which is moreover an attempt by the autistic person to regulate their environment (not control the second person's world).
@ZSchrink
5 ай бұрын
I just got to the part where you're talking about starting Brooklyn Nine Nine. It is such an amazing series, I'm a little bit envious that you two get to experience it for the first time!
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
Were only on episode four I think so we have quite a ways to go!
@AmandaSeacrist
5 ай бұрын
Danget! Missed your live! Thank you for covering this topic. I can relate to this well, in fact too well (unfortinately). On a positive note, I am grateful to decern between the two. Oh and love the pink hairs! 💗 Look forward to seeing you on your live tomorrow! 😊
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
🍰
@mama_o4
5 ай бұрын
Thank you for the further breakdown. I had tried watching Dr. Ramani's video a few times but could not hear most of the differences.
@camellia8625
5 ай бұрын
I believe that autism and covert narcissism can cooccur (albeit very rarely).
@jelly3050
5 ай бұрын
Actually there are narcissists that are very self depricating
@rockstarjazzcat
5 ай бұрын
narcissism: addiction to feeling special neurodiverJENNt: inherently especially awesome.
@rockstarjazzcat
5 ай бұрын
definitely check out dr craig malkin’s work, “rethinking narcissism,” for a compassionate discussion of the related “echoism” and the difference between healthy and unhealthy narcissism. 🕊💜🤙🏼
@rockstarjazzcat
5 ай бұрын
KZitem consistently censors my comments. Not sure which keyword did it this time, hope it wasn't mentioning Harvard lecturer Dr. Craig Malkin's compelling work. :(
@lilredheaded1
5 ай бұрын
Thank you for creating and sharing.
@gmlpc7132
5 ай бұрын
Excellent video. One example I'd raise is that of the person who continually corrects others, often for minor errors. This can really annoy people and come across not just as fussy and pedantic but a way of showing off or even trying to belittle others. In the case of narcissists the last two motives are often involved and it's all about ego. When autists do it though the motives are much more well-intentioned and usually about attempting to help others learn more or just paint the most accurate picture. However autists often struggle to realise that there is a time and a place for correcting people and it needs to be done sensitively, also recognising the good work others have done. When these social rules are highlighted the autist is likely to learn and better judge when and how to correct others; the narcissist though may carry on and relish the "points-scoring".
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
This is an excellent point and one that I actually originally started to include but decided to take out of the video but perhaps I should have left it in. I kind of talk about this in a semi-related manner in my video on playing devil's advocate. I touch on our need for wholeness and completion and that sometimes it's unnecessary. Anyway excellent. I approve
@stephenie44
5 ай бұрын
I love your hair. Great video.
@stephenie44
5 ай бұрын
We’re not necessarily self absorbed, we’re monotropic! Heart❤
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
@@stephenie44 exactly!!
@heedmydemands
5 ай бұрын
I have a lifelong special interest in how the mind works. I think it's especially likely for me to seem self absorbed with that because i have the mind that i have the most access to so of course it's sensible focus. There's no other mind i could study as freely
@NoCensorship
5 ай бұрын
Your pink hair is great!! ❤
@SeeingBackward
Ай бұрын
It doesn't make sense to me that ASD and NPD could be comorbid (though one could shift between the two over time) as so many traits are the inverse of the other ASD: rigid adherence to rules NPD: feels rules are for others ASD: desire for equality, rejects social hierarchy NPD: creates social hierarchy exactly so that they are "over" others ASD: blunt honesty, to a fault, even to to their own detriment NPD: deceptive, presenting personas based on perceived benefit ASD: flat affect NPD: highly manicured affect ASD: light/irregular eye-contact NPD: bold eye-contact ASD: easily manipulated NPD: highly manipulative ASD: examines and manipulates the physical world NPD: examines and manipulates the social world ASD: goes mute or melts-down when feeling threatened or confused NPD: dominates conversations and organizes mob violence when feeling threatened or confused ASD: wonders what's wrong with themself because they don't understand other people NPD: wonders what's wrong with other people who don't understanding them
@NeurodiverJENNt
Ай бұрын
@@SeeingBackward wow... Did you make this up or did you get this from somewhere? This is pretty spot-on
@SeeingBackward
Ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNt I'd had thoughts circling around it the last few months, but just recently bothered to actually line them up
@SeeingBackward
Ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNt The part that I did get from somewhere else, which was kind of my jumping off point was some in videos from Prof Sam Vaknin. He's referenced a few times work by others (unfortunately I can't remember who at the moment) that categorizes NPD and BPD as different presentations of the same underlying issue, and also mentioned ASD in a similar way. From experiences in my own life, I was already seeing ASD as being encouraged by co-narcissistic childhood (and the increase of narcissism itself encouraged by the lead-crime hypothesis, and thus ASD secondary to that). Now it's making sense to me that BPD and ASD are both 'echoic' responses to co-narcissism, with BPD being more fully 'bought-in' to the NPD fantasy whereas ASD is more confused by why it doesn't seem correct even though everyone tells them it is.
@NeurodiverJENNt
Ай бұрын
@@SeeingBackward well regardless of where it came from Thank you so much for sharing it. I screenshotted that and shared it with a few people.
@SeeingBackward
Ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNt You're welcome, of course! I'm always glad to share a perspective and never happier than when someone connects with it, so thank you too (=
@apennyforyouraspiethoughts23
5 ай бұрын
Great video! And Brooklyn 99 is just the best ever!
@dio69666
5 ай бұрын
I love your hair! 💞
@KamillaMirabelle
5 ай бұрын
I'm an ekstrovert autist 😂 i use the frase "light and elephant", from "light and elegant" (better in Danish) as my way of being social.. 😅
@KamillaMirabelle
5 ай бұрын
I dont know how well this frase are translated.. but the light and elegant are meant as when you see a ballerina or ice dancer, but light an elephant are more like the Elephant in sing.. 😂 trying to be petite and graceful, but breaking very thing in the process
@TheKrampus83
2 ай бұрын
NPD and ASD might not co-occur but narcissism and ASD certainly do. It's important to draw attention to these distinctions. Often a high masking autistic person, say someone who had narcissistic parent(s), can mask and reproduce those same narcissistic scripts totally unaware
@JonBrase
5 ай бұрын
I wonder if some autists might develop NPD, or something that would be mistaken for NPD, as a masking adaptation to certain types of traumatic environments. One possibility might simply be developing a narcissistic mask to survive around a narcicist. Another might be misinterpreting certain neurotypical social norms as a requirement to act in certain ways, that, when combined with autistic traits, imitate narcicism, or simply adopting neurotypical traits that actually are problematic. Also, the different narcissistic traits come across to me as a profile you might expect of someone who has been taught timidity and self-contempt for the benefit of someone else, decides "I don't have to take this s💩", and snaps to the other extreme. "I've done my time, now it's somebody else's turn" type of thing. This may explain why narcicists (or a certain subset of narcicists) are attracted to autists: they actually are autists, and so there's an innate attraction to a healthy, or healthy-looking, variant of themselves. But there's a deep self-contempt, and a contempt for everything in the other party that reminds them of themselves, which ends up being basically everything that attracted them to the other party in the first place. And there seems to be a potential for this kind of thing to perpetuate itself: one generation wounds the next, which may be why so many autists seem to report narcicistic parents.
@mertg7219
3 ай бұрын
My father is probably autistic. I think my mother has AuDHD and narcissism. I believe, as you mentioned, that individuals with autism can develop narcissism due to a combination of environmental factors and genetics. The conflicts between my parents, some of my mother's behaviors(I'm not sure if she ever cared about my thoughts on anything really), and the fact that my closest friend in high school (we stopped being friends in the final year) was a narcissist, have not contributed positively to my autism at all. Btw, even years later, that friend still appears in my dreams (anxietic). I seem to exhibit covert narcissistic behaviors. In the future, I think I will likely transition from covert narcissism to overt narcissism (like my mother). I am loved by my family and okey with my friends. However, with the recent awareness I've gained(discovering autism and things), I've realized that I mask a lot (especially due to autism). I can't really say that people, in general, are good. I realized I SHOULDN'T tolerate some things. I don't want to see my current friends anymore.(Btw i love my best friend and we are getting along well. He's probably audhd) "This may explain why narcissists (or a certain subset of narcissists) are attracted to autists: they actually are autists, and so there's an innate attraction to a healthy, or healthy-looking, variant of themselves. But there's a deep self-contempt, and a contempt for everything in the other party that reminds them of themselves, which ends up being basically everything that attracted them to the other party in the first place." I tend to agree with what is said here. When I see autistic girls, I can genuinely see in their eyes that they could understand me to some extent. They really look like healthier versions of me in some way. But the idea that I will eventually hurt them, mixed with contempt, makes me want to distance myself from them. It really sounds like I've fucked up, doesn't it? Yes, I know.
@chrismaxwell1624
5 ай бұрын
Females tend to get diagnosed incorrectly with bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. Male tend to get diagnosed correctly. At least this is what I have read on seen on on other you tube channels. Can you imagine being diagnosed and borderline personality disorder just because you present autistic in way professionals fail to recognize as autistic. Then go through treatments that don't work and even make things worse. That would be so horrible.
@personneici2595
29 күн бұрын
Dr Ramani is great for helping people understand that they need to stop expecting others with NPD to change and becomd respectful. But that's it. If you want to understand NPD and/or heal then the only resource I know is the channel healnpd ❤
@heedmydemands
5 ай бұрын
O thank god somebody noticed my severe case of awesomeness
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@heedmydemands
5 ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNt you know what I even like to do sometimes, just suddenly say something like "wow I'm so great" lol. If u were waiting to someone else to say it it could b a long while lol
@pikmin4743
5 ай бұрын
good one, and love the pink))
@tomasvoldrich
5 ай бұрын
25:28 in the newest Dr.Ramani book I read that narcissist can often have co-occuring ADHD. 🥶
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
I think it makes sense that those two could coexist for sure
@myriola
5 ай бұрын
I could say by experience, and I am sure that somebody could be an autistic human, very egoistical and maybe due to mental impotence, develop narcissistic traits ... It is not that it seems but there are autistic narcissistic people. I personally know more than 2 people like that. Like neurotypcial humans, autistic humans could be narcissistic at the same time than autistic. That there are good people and some more human than others as much as there are bad humans, less human or even inhuman, it is nothing out of this world!
@batintheattic7293
5 ай бұрын
It's probably a lazy analysis but, from what I have gleaned, narcissists always seem to know exactly where the tissues are. Indeed, they are strategically placed because they know they might need them. Autistics sometimes have unexpectedly wet sleeves. I do need to learn about the diversity present in the narcissist spectrum. I think I have been focusing, too tightly, on the malignant variety as they are the most obvious.
@Weird_guy79
5 ай бұрын
I see no reason an ASD could not also be a narcissist,still human after all. It's something I wonder about myself constantly while waiting for an assessment.
@Weird_guy79
5 ай бұрын
oh and chuck ADHD in the mix, so so much over lap.
@tims9434
5 ай бұрын
I think a lot of people with ADHD are narcissistic as it matches the impulsivity. I think there are blurred lines between those AuDHD and narcissistic people. I can't diagnose people but I definitely attract those similar to me and horrible narcissistic people
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
Hey friend! It's good to see you! Impulsivity is only one of the areas of crossover - there's also lack of empathy and contempt and lacking empathy isn't an inherent trait of ADHD
@katzenbekloppt_mf
5 ай бұрын
Can't comment on lifestream😢
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
I saw you in there finally!
@katzenbekloppt_mf
5 ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNt well, my Grande tecnic intelligence won. Hüst hüst (german short words for caughing blushed insecure Spaß *cringe*)
@brian-jv1nw
3 ай бұрын
This video doesn’t give NPD the empathy it deserves
@NeurodiverJENNt
3 ай бұрын
That's a fair point. The objective of the video was to differentiate between ASD and NPD, and not a focus on NPD itself but a little more understanding could have been included. Feel free to share more info on what points regarding empathy you think should have been included for the information of others.
@shulamay
5 ай бұрын
Crocodile tears are dishonest tears
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
You are correct! I definitely made a mistake there. Hopefully everyone knows what I meant by the context. I pinned a comment pointing this out.
@dortek882
5 ай бұрын
Crocodile years are false tears
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
Correct. I pinned a comment regarding this mistake on my part
@kr3642
Ай бұрын
OCD can also make you worried youre a narcissist when you arent. OCD is a common comorbidity with asd.
@Jenna.g.85
5 ай бұрын
Great video Jenn, I’m not awesome though so that’s a bummer #notsubscribed
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
You're not subscribed?! 😱 That's OK I still love and appreciate you ☺️
@Jenna.g.85
5 ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNt oh wait yes I am 😆💜😉 I was thinking of subscriptions on instagram, can’t afford all the fees to support all the awesome people I’d like
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
@@Jenna.g.85 also, you are still awesome. I detected it.
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
@@Jenna.g.85 I wondered if you were thinking of memberships or something like that! I don't have any paid anything anywhere *yet*! 😂
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
@@Jenna.g.85 Plus you bought one of my shirts and posted it on your Instagram! You have been amazing at supporting us autistic content creators!!!
@SideB1984
5 ай бұрын
I think it’s even worse for Sigma INFJ autistic women.
@camellia8625
5 ай бұрын
What is a sigma autistic woman?
@lakkakka
2 ай бұрын
Honestly this whole thing just seems like a way neurotypicals can go around and still be an asshole towards those on the spectrum because they are also narcissists. So I tend to just reject these comparisons from the get go.
@ZSchrink
5 ай бұрын
Decision-making and autism as well as decision-making and AuDHD would be both interesting and useful!
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
Agreed. Obviously 🤣
@ZSchrink
5 ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNt and now to decide which one to make first 😂
@KPaul7
5 ай бұрын
Thank you so much, Jenn. I think I know just how much research went into this video. When I was first suspecting I had ASD my wife told me I was just narcissistic. At that time, my son was diagnosed with ASD. So she thought I was taking away from his diagnosis and making it all about me. That couldn't be further from the truth. Learning about autism became my special interest. Not just for me but my son. Even after my 2nd ASD diagnosis, she was still telling me I was just a narcissist. Needless to say, our relationship of 19 years is not going good. This video confirms the research I did on narcissism, and yes, I have brought all her concerns up to every one of my providers. I still question if I have both. Both of my therapist keep telling me I have way too much empathy and compassion for others to be narcissistic. I really appreciate you bringing up the tuff topics around autism and ADHD. It is very insightful and a good reminder to research someone might not want to go through again. Your awesome ! ! !
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
Thank you Paul! I'm so sorry your wife was do dismissive about you having autism. If your son was diagnosed chances are, he got it from you. Autism is hereditary, up to 80% of the time (some studies say even higher percentages than that) so that alone carries weight!! And, I've heard a lot of late diagnosed adults who found out after their children were diagnosed that everything suddenly became about themselves. And.... YEAH! Obviously we care about our kids! But the impact of reevaluating your entire life after living on this Earth for a lot more years than our kids becomes all-consuming. People who have not walked around in our shoes will unfortunately never fully understand the impact of always feeling different and never knowing why, then suddenly having a whole bunch of answers that feel so mind blowing and obvious. Autism has become my special interest too... I know studies have shown that the two can co-occur, and I'm not a professional, but I find that hard to believe. Even if it does, it's rare so chances are you have to choose between one of the two. And, if you have to choose between the two if you are not using people like tools, not constantly seeking admiration and validation, do have empathy, are not driven by social motivations etc... then it's probably autism.
@kellypawspa
5 ай бұрын
Your hair is really pretty. I dig it.
@EmilySwor
5 ай бұрын
Same here !
@tracik1277
5 ай бұрын
You did a great job of unraveling this complex misunderstanding.
@jenna739
5 ай бұрын
I'm the emotion sponge type of autistic. I really wish I had less empathy
@tracik1277
5 ай бұрын
Wow Jenn your hair looks stunning on you 😊
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
Thank you to one of my most favoritest subscribers ❤️
@tracik1277
5 ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNt😻
@heedmydemands
5 ай бұрын
I never mean to cause anyone harm, i have said things that hurt people but it was never for the purpose of hurting someone. Some people will say things purposefully to cut u deep and it works, I've had the experience. I never want to hurt anyone. I guess it's from social deficits, like not understanding how it will sound from their perspective until it's already out of my mouth, sometimes won't realize till much later (Edited because i embarassingly used the wrong there lol)
@user-hh2zl4kq5k
Күн бұрын
VG. Informative. TY!
@SeeingBackward
Ай бұрын
"Autistic thinking" is a specific trait of both ASD and NPD. The operative thing to understand about narcissism is the feature of the story of Narcissus: he wasn't aware that he was interacting with his own reflection. People don't realize that they misunderstand narcissism as a focus on attractiveness. It is is their own idea that narcissism is about people who feel they are more attractive than others. So they never bother to find out the truth about narcissism, because they assume they already know what it is. They don't understand that what they are seeing is a reflection of their own ideas about narcissism, which is itself what narcissism is. We're all born with narcissism, but those with NPD will reject (sometimes violently) evidence which is contrary to their own beliefs, i.e. their own self-reflections of what they think is true. Autistic people are more likely to externally validate their ideas, which is why they are easier to take advantage of by machiavellian people who gaslight (i.e. narcissists). This is why autistic people are monotropically logical, 'black-and-white' (i.e. digital vs analog) thinkers, and detail-oriented vs big-picture. Those of use who remember downloading bitmaps images over the internet remember seeing images load slowly from top to bottom, but whatever was rendered was correct. Now we have "web-optimized" images that start out taking up the full size but get increasingly more precise as the image loads. This is the same as autistic thinking vs NT thinking: autistic thinking builds up the correct picture bit-by-bit, whereas NT thinkers use incorrect-but-close approximations. Those approximations can miss entire features of the more resolved picture, which is why autistic and NT people will argue about whether something is "close enough"
@EyemsoarnauSouporsor
5 ай бұрын
I can't exhibit empathy when I feel other ppls' emotions... I have to stay unemotional to avoid being told I need drugs... try to be as narcissist as I can but never say it's because I'm about to cry or am internalizing rage I can hardly contain, and only over the misunderstandings. People assume too much. Seems they'd rather think someone is evil than understand how they developed their opinion without the use of malice or negligence of others' feelings. I'm not dismissive of the other's position, just trying to explain mine as I figure out how they got to theirs... sometimes it takes a long time for someone to realize we are not arguing over the same things. Neurotypicals are bad at communicationicating too! ...I also get really upset with people that have misplaced emotions and don't say what thoughts are actually telling their brains to the release chemicals that cause emotion. Do people really want to believe someone is a narcissist before even knowing who they are? Not too long ago narcissists were the most respected people face to face... people weren't really conversing with each other then either, just cheap talk to fill the space... so tired of trying to explain myself and failing miserably, practicing though... practicing I've also seen mean people label people NPD just because the meanies were snooty to the people and had no choice but to go full devil's advocate. ...I've had issues explaining to them that the accused are copying the accuser's attitude... seems some people would people rather get emotional than find a reason to understand a way to avoid it. I've told a doctor myself I have communication issues... only to have them fully applied during the visit, been a great journey so far, very frustrating, couldn't do it without you. Thank you. Every time I sign in I end up typing way more than I should and I have no idea how to stop it. I patiently await for myself to come across solutions I haven't stumbled upon thus far.
@Vixinaful
2 ай бұрын
SUPER hard to diffirentiate between these because they are extremely similar. Both hoard as an example, they behave the same but for different reasons, both extremnely selfish and abusive.
@donnellallan
2 ай бұрын
This is brilliant; extremely helpful! Thank you! 💜
@phoenixholisticwellnessllc
5 ай бұрын
While personality disorders are not diagnosed prior to adulthood, there are some childhood diagnoses that would transition to those cluster B disorders if not resolved in adulthood. At least as was shared with me by a child neuropsych. Edited to correct a spelling error. ❤️
@gabrielle1714
29 күн бұрын
But it is possible to have autism and have npd. Autists are among the most abused people and npd comes from abuse and neglect as well as genetics, not the luckyest combination, but possible. Also autistic people defending themserlves about their bad traits using and demonising npders is kinda evil.
@NeurodiverJENNt
29 күн бұрын
@@gabrielle1714 I hope this video did not come across as demonizing NPDers. I was merely trying to show the differences and motivations driving similar looking behaviors. If that was the tone you felt from this video please know that was not my intent.
@thenheartscollide
5 ай бұрын
🎐🙇🏻♂️🦋°
@MrDaydreamer1584
5 ай бұрын
"and if you have the comorbidity of ADHD like me you may not relate to a lot of this stuff on social deficits." Are there studies (or writings) on this? Could you make a video on this topic? (I think it applies to me.)
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
This is an absolutely excellent idea! Thank you so much! This would make a wonderful video. I don't know if there are any studies on this but speaking from personal experience having the comorbidity of ADHD... And again I'm just speaking about my own personal experiences here... Allows me to pick up on sarcasm better, I am acutely attuned to nonverbal social cues pertaining to body language, I don't take everything literally, I'm more likely to pick up on the emotions of others without being prompted, etc etc.... Of course some of that might be also because of the fact that I am a girl so my masking game is better but I have heard even from guys who have autism and ADHD that they don't struggle as much with social cues and what not
@MrDaydreamer1584
5 ай бұрын
@@NeurodiverJENNt The overlap between autism and ADHD is in the executive domain. So it would make sense that people with both autism and ADHD would tend to have a more "executive" form of autism with fewer social deficits. (Maybe. I just came up with that idea.) But definitely a good video topic!
@NeurodiverJENNt
4 ай бұрын
Ask and ye shall receive Mr Daydreamer! Check out my newest video Credit given for asking this awesome question
@Autistic_AF
5 ай бұрын
Love the pink hair!
@mockingmoniker7443
5 ай бұрын
I think I'm missing a third column in these conversations: a lack of socialization. People need to be trained how to socialize. I'm sure a lot of people from dysfunctional families can be seen as narcissistic or as having a learning disability or Autism.
@pardalote
5 ай бұрын
Awesome video Jenn! Thanks for posting it! Your son sounds a lot like mine. I remember my son in tears, at age 4 because another child had pulled wings off a cicada. He was so very empathetic with both animals and humans back then and now at 25. Love the hair 💕💕💕
@AuditingWithAutism
5 ай бұрын
You did such a good job on this video: quality info, well stated, funny, and relatable. My favorite moment may be at 9:15 - 9:23, as I love the egalitarian idea there.
@theoneandonly1158
5 ай бұрын
My husband's dad is beyond narcissist, including his kids.
@KamillaMirabelle
5 ай бұрын
I love your pink hair 😍 it fit your well ❤️
@AutisticBarbie
5 ай бұрын
I like you ❤I’m probably narcissistic and I’m autistic
@NeurodiverJENNt
5 ай бұрын
Why do you think you are both?
@emaceratus
5 ай бұрын
Cool hair 👀
@solgirl9
5 ай бұрын
i love your hair !💕
@chinmeysway
5 ай бұрын
hard to navigate this stuff trying to think clearly on it all and not fall into group-think too much. but it just sounds like 70% of everyone i’ve ever known. i think a lot about this and have for lots of yrs and. it seems that to improve the described behaviors it takes a lot of effort. i don’t think we’re powerless, even if it’s developmental. if we treat things like we can’t improve these things then it’s not creating a better world. we can hold ourselves and each other responsible. anyone is capable of being shitty. nobody is simply born into a binary of typical or divergence. same w personality disorder or chemical imbalance. i don’t know why so many ppl are uncomfortable w questioning all this. there’s way more to behavior than than what diagnostics can really answer for. and trust me; i’ve been hella ruined by a covert narc type. it seems real. and trust me i have all the asd characteristics. (still very questionable that the two are that overlapable if they’re distinctively dif clinically). is there any community for ppl who don’t want to subscribe to all this asd culture yet struggle in similar ways? the now common neurobinary does feel quite divisive if anyone can understand.
@chinmeysway
5 ай бұрын
not to seem flippant, i think you make some thoughtful points. i just tend to watch psychology and psychiatry evolve veeeerry slow and still it’s all so archaic. i’m ok to be wrong i just tend to know science on behavior is pretty inconclusive generally.
@fatefullydead5585
2 ай бұрын
Seems like ths only main difference in behavior is motivation. Regareless of reason intentional or not, ignoring/being oblivious to another person's feelings still hurts that person. "Sorry I didnt notice." Doesn't negate hurt or harm done. It doesn’t make that behavior acceptable or appropriate. We may have different ways of thinking and communicating/or lack there of, but when it's not correctly expressed to where both people in the moment "get it" someone is gonna get hurt. It maybe easier to forgive someone who didnt do it intentionally, but apologizing after, no matter how good the apology, does ultimately nothing to prevent the same situation from happening again, unless you can just magically change how your brain works. Which we know you can't bc you're born that way. I am neurodivergent myself, but when someone keeps hurting you over and over, and never notices till you point it out for them before they apologize. That's just exhausting, and there's no insureance you wont be hurt again bc its "not their fault", its just the way they are. The real kicker is then you have to be the one to be hypersensitive to them, their tells, and their needs, bc if you acted the same way towards them they would also get hurt. So like they are both sensitive and insensitive at the same time. Its even worse if you are both autistic/neurodivergent. You'd think you understand each other better right? Wrong. Its clown to clown communication, and neither of you can handle emotions or issues bc of the hypersensitivity to simulation or rejection sensitivity, and neither of you notice when the other is hurt or upset. So you just never ever communicate untill its a fight. Like you either end up in a onsided relationship where you cater to your partner, and do all the work for them. Or you end up in a toxic relationship where all you do is fight or ignore each other. Both are shit.
Пікірлер: 214