I completely relate to you. I was so promiscuous from 16 - 30, using alcohol and amphetamines but I never had a sexual desire or any kind of satisfaction from it. I wonder if I was playing a role. I still don't understand why! Like you, I have always felt I am meant to be alone. Wish I knew someone like you in real life! Brilliant video. Thanks for sharing.
@GutsAndGall
7 жыл бұрын
I don't understand it either. It's really hard. I don't want this to be my future but it's hard to imagine otherwise.
@lindseyconnors7749
7 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for sharing this...I've never heard anyone talk about these issues and I can relate exactly to almost everything you're saying. These are things I have been dealing with my entire life, feeling so different and isolated, yet wanting genuine connection so strongly. I feel emotional, realizing all of this. You're not alone!
@GutsAndGall
7 жыл бұрын
It still gets me emotional thinking about it. Glad to know I'm not the only one.
@maybelleclark2623
8 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I was diagnosed with Asperger's last December and I have struggled to understand sexuality and my real feelings are my entire life. I definitely understand. Especially the part about trying to convince yourself that the "normal" picture is what I wanted.
@GutsAndGall
8 жыл бұрын
That is so kind, thank you!
@mattsains
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you for doing this video. I related to a lot of what you said, and it's nice to know it's not just me.
@GutsAndGall
7 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! Yeah, it's nice to know we are not alone.
@Agnotio
8 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for your amazing video. I really liked the part where you talked about the "dating ritual". I feel a very similar way, that it doesn't make sense to me. Also the parts about trying to change yourself and the difficulty of living in this social world.
@GutsAndGall
8 жыл бұрын
Thanks :)
@ShimmeringOneness
8 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this - I would never have considered myself asexual, but after watching this video I've come to realize there's something of me in it too. I get so much of what your saying! I've always had sexual issues - even when I appeared to others as being promiscuous (it was just another case of my trying to fit in and going overboard with it).
@GutsAndGall
8 жыл бұрын
Yep, I can get that!
@JohnAdams-rm7zm
8 жыл бұрын
nice video, you have a sweet nature about you.. Keep on keeping on!
@GutsAndGall
8 жыл бұрын
Thank you. I will!
@hellobyebye3751
8 жыл бұрын
Hi, everything u say, be reassured, that you are not alone in your feelings.
@GutsAndGall
8 жыл бұрын
Thank you :), that is very kind.
@differentaspie6336
8 жыл бұрын
You are not alone. I totally understand what you mean about healing and trying to work out who you are when a diagnosis comes much later in life. I have spent so long trying to fit in and be accepted that at 33 years old I do not know who I am or what I like. Thank you for sharing.
@GutsAndGall
8 жыл бұрын
+Different As Pie Thanks Different. Are you talking about asexuality? You mention diagnosis so I'm wondering if you're talking about Asperger's, which is also part of my story.
@GutsAndGall
8 жыл бұрын
+Different As Pie Never mind, I see your channel. I look forward to watching your videos!
@legitboring
9 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving such encouraging words. I can relate to so much in your story and I really appreciate you sharing. I think there's something cathartic to committing your thoughts to paper/video, it allows us to process and confront them in constructive ways and I think you're well on your way to acceptance. Breaking the conditioning is hard, like super hard and there's a lot of growing pains. But the second you no longer think of asexuality as a series of behavior requiring correction or a condition it's like a weight being lifted. It's no longer something you have but just who you are. And you're certainly never alone :) If you ever need anything just holler.
@GutsAndGall
9 жыл бұрын
+based goddex Thank you so much! You are so kind! I am so glad to have others on this journey with me. And I think you're right, it's that process of acceptance that is so healing. I hope you'll consider more videos on the subject. :) Sue
@MichaelPaoli
9 жыл бұрын
You're not alone - many[1] in same or relatively similar circumstances. Many folks are, for one reason or another alone and lonely when that's not how they want it to be. They want that friend or companion or "relationship" - for however they define and what they do and don't want in "relationship", but find themselves very much without, even when they very much want it. Doesn't mean there's anything "wrong" with you - or anyone else. Sometimes, well, ... there may just be some additional, uhm, "challenges", to finding and getting what one wants. And, "fixing", "therapies", "treatments" 'n all that - many of 'em don't work, or are a horrible mismatch for what's actually useful for any given individual - even if they may work well for many others. We're all individuals, and unique, and many of us are not "many others" and often just don't fit the mold of what others expect - and often what may work for most or all that "fit the mold", doesn't work - or can even go very horribly wrong - for those that don't fit. Another thought on "fixes" and "treatment" and "therapies" and all that. I think it's often more effective to work a more pragmatic approach. Not some standard set of expectations of "condition" and "treatment", but look more at - what are the pain points, what is or is causing the bother. And how does one "fix" or work around that and make it better. The best "solution" may not be at all a "standard" approach. I tend to think look at the pain points, try and figure out what is and isn't feasible to usefully do about 'em, and work on the feasible bits, ... and try not to worry about what isn't feasible, or is too difficult/hard/painful/etc. to be worth the bother to try and change or "fix". (E.g. a whole lot 'o things about society are majorly messed up. Way beyond my scope of influence to majorly change that for most of society (though I may influence a wee little bit of it here and there ... and those bits do add up if millions or billions of folks take such time and effort to do so - so don't forget one's part)). Likewise, best not to be working to "fix" something that isn't a "problem" for oneself. E.g. practitioners may be like, "Oh, that's not normal, that's *ab*normal - we have to *fix* that." - why the hell "fix" what is not at all a problem for oneself[2]? So, ... work on the pain points that are feasibly addressable, and in means that work for oneself to address them. And try not to sweat what one can't change - kind'a fruitless to worry about what one can't change or influence ... so work on what one can do. So we're different yes, ... but not broken. footnote: 1. certainly not exactly the same in my case, but a lot of similarities/parallels. 2. Another semi-random example that comes to mind. Men - especially older men, and, at least some(/many?) forms of prostate cancer. Sure, can treat it, blah, blah, blah ... but often the treatment is worse than the disease, and the cancer is so slow-growing they're highly likely to eventually die of something totally unrelated, long before the prostrate cancer would ever come close to being or leading to cause of death - so sometimes it's better to leave something the hell alone, rather than try to "treat" or "fix" it.
@nobody-bb4di
8 жыл бұрын
Thankyou so much for posting this, apart from the therapy, it's like I wrote the script! I am 38 so I can especially relate to the confusion surrounding all that 'dating' nonsense. I am also going through diagnostic tests for AS.
@GutsAndGall
8 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad I'm not alone. Good luck with your AS evaluation!
@nobody-bb4di
8 жыл бұрын
Thanks
@steev3538
8 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. I have always been aware of asexuality but never really applied it to myself. I am quite introverted and I do find women attractive but, as you said in the video, find the whole dating / finding a partner thing so alien it just doesn't feel right. When I was younger I just thought that maybe over time I will meet someone and get married, but many years on I am accepting that it isn't going to happen. I have had two relationships and neither person was right for me but have been glad for the experiences and learning. I will look at some of the other videos, I didn't realise that there was much out there on this subject. Thanks again for being so open.
@GutsAndGall
8 жыл бұрын
+primitive rebel You're welcome! I'm glad we're not alone.
@GutsAndGall
8 жыл бұрын
+MindOfHerOwn PS I see your pic is of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. One of my all-time favorites!
@steev3538
8 жыл бұрын
+MindOfHerOwn It's a great film, my other favourite is Buffalo 66 - another movie about two outsiders that find each other. I liked what you said in the video about how you have stopped trying to fix yourself. I am the same; I'm not broken, just following a different path and trying to live my life in a way that works for me. Thanks for the reply.
@Natalia-hf3et
7 жыл бұрын
I came across your video from seeing your comment on Dr. Judith Orloff's channel. Thank you for being open and honest. ☺☺☺
@GutsAndGall
7 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! (I don't remember what I wrote on her channel, but glad you found me!)
@Natalia-hf3et
7 жыл бұрын
***** I subscribe to her channel because I am an empath and she is an expert on HSP's. I just found your comment and video to be very open and honest and needed to share that with ypu.
@GutsAndGall
7 жыл бұрын
Oh, thanks!!!
@phoneticau
7 жыл бұрын
Having poor social interaction being asexual or under sexual makes sense. but I have feelings some times, its ok being friendzoned, at least, Sue you really resonate with me, thanks for your KZitem channel
@GutsAndGall
7 жыл бұрын
You're so kind! I'm glad you found the channel and it's helping. Thanks for all the comments. :)
@anonymouslyautistic3895
8 жыл бұрын
This is great! Thanks!
@QueenAmethyst55
7 жыл бұрын
PS. I feel Aspergers creates this loneliness. For some reason, so many Aspie women are married and this makes me wonder why they have managed a relationship when I can't! It further enforces my feelings of being a freak and alone. 😑
@GutsAndGall
7 жыл бұрын
I don't think about it as much anymore, but there are times it really gets to me. I hope you can start feeling better about yourself. I think it's normal to feel loneliness. Shame is so damaging, though.
@SnowSnowYT
9 жыл бұрын
I understand
@eastbaysf
8 жыл бұрын
I am always like intimacy and I have Asperger's BUT I can only be with one man for years in a very committed relationship.. the casual thing does not work for me. I loved to date but the sex thing was always the 800lb Gorilla in the room. No way would I have sex with a stranger or some one who is playing me.. no way on earth. My husband and I dated for 6 months before we had sex.. and it was not a big thing...nothing great. I see where you are coming from and totally agree. Sex to me is just not that great.( Romantic fantasy is much better). I never had kids either. :) I am 54. You are not alone. My husband does not like/need sex that much either so its no big deal (thank God). lol. There is nothing to fix its ., you are you and you are very nice. I manifested my man.. if you believe in that.
@GutsAndGall
7 жыл бұрын
I sure hope I can find someone like you did!
@truthseeker508
8 жыл бұрын
do you have now or have had serious boyfriend? only curious
@GutsAndGall
7 жыл бұрын
I mentioned in the video I had two relationships that lasted about 10 months each.
@truthseeker508
7 жыл бұрын
I have aspergers too, its so hard to be misunderstood right, living in a hypersexual world. Anyway, good luck and fortune to you too.
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