Any advice on helping a toddler that has trouble with transitions. Im having trouble with a 4yr old she lost both parents. Anything helps thank u
@ConsciousDisciplineVideos
6 жыл бұрын
One of the biggest challenges for adults is dealing with an upset child. We often say: “You’re okay, can you give me a hug?” “Come look over here! Play with this!” “Shhhhush (accompanied by rocking or bouncing).” Though common, these responses rob the child of the opportunity to express his or her genuine emotion. These are reactive rather than responding statements. “You’re okay, can you give me a hug,” generally stems from the adult’s fear that the child isn’t okay, or that s/he is okay but is going to start wailing. “Come over here” and “Shhhhush” are both attempts to distract the child from his/her upset or pain. To respond to the child in a way that addresses his/her emotion, we must teach him/her how to handle the upset. We can do this by using active calming ourselves, helping the child to calm down and labeling the emotion to build the child’s self-awareness. Step 1: S.T.A.R. (Smile, Take a breath, And Relax). Actively calm yourself first so you can respond. Step 2: Wish the child well by continuing to breathe and thinking loving thoughts about the child and seeing the child ass whole. Step 3: Notice, “Your face is going like this (demonstrate the child’s expression). You’re safe, I’m here. Breathe with me.” Step 4: Label emotion the emotion for the child to build awareness, “You seem sad (angry, upset, frustrated).” Do your best to label the child’s emotion. The child may correct you if you say “sad” and they feel “angry.” Step 5: “You wanted to ________.” Take a good guess at what the child wanted. Again, they may correct you. If the source of upset is a transition you may say: You wanted to stay in the block center. It is hard to stop and switch. Step 6: Commit to keeping them safe: “I’ll keep you safe.” Step 7: After the first six steps are complete and the child is calm, then you may offer redirection. “Let’s go to the book center." At first, the child’s upset may increase. This is healthy and occurs because you are allowing the child to feel the anger, upset or other emotion s/he is experiencing. Continue your active calming and move forward with the seven steps above. Painful experiences are stressful to the mind and body. To help the body release endorphins (the body’s natural pain killers), touch is important. Deep touch, like we get during a massage, releases hormones that combat the corticosteroids (stress chemicals) in the body. One way to touch your child is to play the I Love You Ritual “Putting Lotion on the Hurts” (pg 160).” This is a wonderful game to play with children after they have experienced some pain, either physical (after a fall from a bike) or emotional (after a loss). You will need a bottle of hand lotion. Search the child for boo-boos, old scars or new scratches. The size or intensity of the scar or sore is not relevant. Begin the game by saying, “I am going to put some lotion on all those hurts. I see one right there. I will be very careful.” If the hurt is old, lotion can be put directly on the scar. If the hurt is new, be careful to circle around the wound with lotion. It is important that you repeat the message, “I will take care of you. No more hurts for you.” Continue looking over your child’s body for hurts. Use the time to massage old wounds. The nonverbal message to the child is, “You have experienced some pain, I notice that, and I am here for you.” Young children (under age five) are better with nonverbal communication than verbal. Even though the hurt the child experienced may be psychological, we can help address it in “child language” through touch. Psychological hurts and physical hurts activate the same pathways in the brain. Last but not least, transition routines will be more critical than ever for this child. Here is an example of helping a young child get ready for clean up time at school: kzitem.info/news/bejne/x2aVnIiQiqSVl6Q We are wishing you well!
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