Shit was crazy man. Wouldn't mind living there if we carried over refrigeration and modern medicine though lol
@FenrizNNN
Жыл бұрын
The scariest part is the lack of punctuation
@Mygg_Jeager
Жыл бұрын
@@piza.3232 they had refrigeration. They had the Yachtchal ice huts. Ice cubes for your water all year round, even in the desert, even during the summer.
@florianchabaud8548
Жыл бұрын
@@Mygg_JeagerI just checked and yeah, they had it in 400 BC!
@piza.3232
Жыл бұрын
@@Mygg_Jeager But it wasn't really widespread like, at all. Most of the "refrigeration" consisted of preserving meats with salts or shit in barrels. Most of the times in voyages on the open sea the sailors had to eat bread as hard as bricks or otherwise these would spoil.
@NolanS-y4o
5 ай бұрын
“Video games make you violent” Humans before video games:
@bio_5467
Ай бұрын
“Reading epic poetry makes kids violent”
@kingnull2697
Жыл бұрын
> Be Ashurbanipal > Live before punctuation is invented
@Mygg_Jeager
Жыл бұрын
That was a later Greek invention, I believe. XD
@burialgoods
Жыл бұрын
Lmao okay that got me
@RipOffProductionsLLC
10 ай бұрын
Putting spaces between words wasn't invented until... like... after the fall of the Western Roman Empire, or something like that, same thing with lower case letters. So for millennia, all writing was All Caps, no spaces, run-on sentences...
@VindicAlpha
9 ай бұрын
@@RipOffProductionsLLC Try until Charlemagne. He, according to sources, suggested that having spaces between words and using bigger and smaller letters to help differentiate words would make this reading thing much easier. Seeing as he was quite probably dyslexic and struggled all his life to learn to read, you can thank him for that, because it didn't help him.
@KAngel32
8 ай бұрын
Hehehej
@joyshokeir1593
7 ай бұрын
And Ashurnibanipal was one of the first literate kings in history, as he was second in line for the throne and trained to be a priest. He made it his personal mission to steal as many magic tablets as possible to make himself invincible. Dude was a fucking evil Wizard King.
@arnantphongsatha7906
7 ай бұрын
The first and only sorcerer of the Blood God.
@PrimarchRegalious
7 ай бұрын
Highly relatable tbh.
@kobold7466
7 ай бұрын
we need more evil wizard kings in politics today tbh
@bastait
7 ай бұрын
sir please step behind this woodshed for your free ps5. @@kobold7466
@ncrvako
7 ай бұрын
So he was the inspiration for nagash or thoth amon?
@deplorabledegenerate2630
Жыл бұрын
Most well adjusted Khornite.
@joaovitorreisdasilva9573
10 ай бұрын
Well, the weirdest thing is that this mofo was very well adjusted so well adjusted in fact that he was the motherfucking King LMAO
@toddkatz9700
7 ай бұрын
Came here to make this joke, lol
@Tathanic
7 ай бұрын
hmm he maybe a bit more of a slaanesh then Khorn follower
@titanomachy2217
7 ай бұрын
@Tathanic Slanderous lies. Ashurbanipal was a lord of blood and skulls, a god of the battlefield, not a gay or crossdresser or BDSM gimp.
@bastait
7 ай бұрын
@@joaovitorreisdasilva9573what does being well adjusted have to do with who your father is... this comment is beyond dumb.
@rigulur
Жыл бұрын
ancient assyria started off as a really nice and compassionate little shrine city, well-liked by their actual powerful neighbors and left alone mostly. and then they were harshly subjugated for a century or two. it... changed them
@chawlz
11 ай бұрын
>changed them ... you think? lmfao
@holypaladin4657
9 ай бұрын
Tiglath-Pileser III was the main catalyst. Basically turned Assyria from a standard Mesopotamian state into a fucking war machine.
@ihatepplwhohatedm
7 ай бұрын
Sounds like Rome, when you really think about it Brennus...changed things
@XD-sc4ix
7 ай бұрын
Who subjugated ancient assyria?
@fatweeb1545
7 ай бұрын
Sounds like Russia under the Mongols
@danjudex2475
Жыл бұрын
Most tolerant and peaceful Assyrian king be like:
@alexsanderrain2980
Жыл бұрын
Meanwhile, a small excerpt from Wikipedia Ashurbanipal is chiefly remembered today for his cultural efforts. A patron of artwork and literature, Ashurbanipal was deeply interested in the ancient literary culture of Mesopotamia. Over the course of his long reign, Ashurbanipal utilized the massive resources at his disposal to construct the Library of Ashurbanipal So I guess he wasn't all bad.
@ShortArmOfGod
Жыл бұрын
I mean they probably had it coming.
@dome2919
Жыл бұрын
Prideful conquerors tend to want people to know of their deeds. "Legacy outlives me" and all that.
@anomonyous
Жыл бұрын
Lol. Wikipedia. The kind of people who define mass murders, riots and ethnic targeted violence as cultural enrichment.
@alexsanderrain2980
Жыл бұрын
We're not talking about current events or contentious/controversial issues here@@anomonyous , if we were, I wouldn't bring up wikipedia. But for non-politicized stuff, please prove to me that wikipedia is not a reliable enough source. I am interested in being educated why this historical fact is wrong. If you can't, I'll assume you're just a 2 bit hater with no independent thought.
@fragdoch-nicht1290
Жыл бұрын
Of course.And Hitler built the Autobahn and had the rhine straightened,so i guess he wasn't all that bad either. Did one of your beloved ones got murdered recently?I would like to search for all the postitive aspects of the Killer's personality. Jokes aside i have not read such moral bankruptcy in a while,your parents must be proud.
@Iapetus5
Жыл бұрын
These were the dudes Jonah didn’t want to visit. Go figure.
@zyriantel9601
11 ай бұрын
Frankly, I’d want to sail the opposite direction, too.
@holypaladin4657
9 ай бұрын
Funniest part was they ended up obeying him and honouring his God without a single question… and their descendants are all Christians whose last major conflict was in self defence against a genocide. Funny world 😂 finds ways to loop around in ironies and black jokes.
@vos2693
6 ай бұрын
@@holypaladin4657 also: though Assyrians have no state, they preserved their language, culture and ethos through millenia. Maybe they did something right.
@PalashaGabarra
6 ай бұрын
@@holypaladin4657 I'm Assyrian, I appreciate this comment.
@babo6082
6 ай бұрын
Yeah, there was some priest making a parallel for his parishioners to understand what prophet felt, he said: Imagine it's the middle of Second World War and God suddenly tells you: "Go to Berlin and tell them that in 40 days they will be destroyed"
@titanomachy2217
7 ай бұрын
Every single line in this goes so hard. I am now picturing Assyria as basically being a barbarian kingdom from the Hyperborean Age, wherein every vista looked like it could be the sword and sorcery-themed album cover of some 80s black metal band.
@burialgoods
7 ай бұрын
This is how I imagine the Bronze Age in general.
@PenTheMighty
7 ай бұрын
YFW Robert E Howard's stories are tame compared to the actual Bronze Age.
@badart3204
7 ай бұрын
Assyria in particular basically was that. Their propaganda has them forcing fathers to grind the bones of their family into a grain. It’s also why Nineva got absolutely destroyed mercilessly due to a lot of built up resentment
@loxodoncyclotis1823
6 ай бұрын
The fact that the Assyrians were sometimes at war against the (real) Cimmerians makes it even better
@daniyallohinejadian9410
4 ай бұрын
Ironic considering how fiercely academic they also were in a tradition living on to the golden age of Islam
@juanpablo-co6zw
6 ай бұрын
Born to late to destroy the sanctuaries of the land Elam, born to early to destroy the sanctuaries of the land Space-Elam Why live
@TsarBomba69420
Жыл бұрын
Roses are red, cacti are prickly, holy sh*t, that escalated quickly
@Mygg_Jeager
Жыл бұрын
Hahahaha
@cesarfelipe7138
Жыл бұрын
Nah, that shit started at 11 and it just kept climbing, holy fuck xD
@Mygg_Jeager
Жыл бұрын
@@cesarfelipe7138 my sentiments exactly
@silvat1193
7 ай бұрын
The moral of the story is that you shouldn't take sides in other people's civil wars. If the other side wins they tend to hold grudges.
@thadsul
8 ай бұрын
Some people: "the world today is so violent" Ancient Assyrians: *committing genocide in every war they could*
@nightsong81
Жыл бұрын
"Bruh." - Vlad the Impaler
@chawlz
Жыл бұрын
"u good bro?" -Ghengis Khan
@deplorabledegenerate2630
Жыл бұрын
"I dunno, I kinda like this guy" -Caligula
@chawlz
Жыл бұрын
@@deplorabledegenerate2630 Caligula actually wasn't that bad. OR SO IVE HEARD
@scottyyoch3537
8 ай бұрын
"Chill tf out bro" - Hitler
@mirceazaharia2094
8 ай бұрын
*laughs in Timur Lenk and SKULL PYRAMIDS*
@Mad-Cat_Dan
7 ай бұрын
>Be Ashurbanipal >Make the sickest Squared Circle callout ever
@mr.mclemon8605
Жыл бұрын
Olga weeps for she was outdone not only by pagans, but pagans with bronze swords.
@tigerpalm1567
9 ай бұрын
This ones had iron, and used to commit insane amounts very intense war crimes
@jonathantilas8507
4 ай бұрын
She was a pagan when she did those things, only a saint after she became a Christian.
@bitingapotato3277
Жыл бұрын
"We engaged in some mild tomfoolery" - ghost of a random Mesopotamian king in the house of dust and ashes.
@YaboitheCadian
7 ай бұрын
Teku teku nemi upharsen
@KARKATELCESARENVIADODESA-pv4yd
4 ай бұрын
"I may have gone too far in a few places." -Ashurbanipal Lucas reflecting on his life.
@megakedar
9 ай бұрын
A number of these inscriptions are actually attributed to other kings, like Senacherib and Esarhaddon, and possibly 2 centuries before with Ashurnasirpal II. But I chuckled. Ashurbanipal was a bit of a nerd, but such was life in the iron age.
@azarshadakumuktir4551
6 ай бұрын
Yeah from what inscriptions tell us about Ashurbanipal, his Elam inscriptions might be some elaborate pastiche of Ashurnasirpal's gruesome literary style.
@lyricusthelame9395
5 ай бұрын
Yo, do you know what inscriptions these texts are from? I really want to know.
@azarshadakumuktir4551
5 ай бұрын
@@lyricusthelame9395 The first are Ashurbanipal's inscriptions after his second conquest of Susa I believe. They have been found at Niniveh.
@megakedar
5 ай бұрын
@@azarshadakumuktir4551 1st: Assurbanipal, destruction of Susa. The last line, though, is from his account of the defeat of the rebels in Babyon led by his brother, Shamash-Shum-Ukin. 2nd: A mashup of various inscriptions taken from Year 2 of Assurnasirpal II's reign. Against the rebels in Hahzi-luha and the Kashiari hills 3rd: Sennacherib, 8th campaign. Against Elam at the battle of Halule. This is for some reason mashed up with Esarhaddon's campaign against the land of Bazu and his account of the execution of the king of Sidon, Abdi-milkutti.
@ikengaspirit3063
3 ай бұрын
Genocidal Warlording Ancient Nerds.
@respectfulevil9022
Жыл бұрын
Khorne checks under his bed for this guy
@titanomachy2217
7 ай бұрын
"There's always a bigger fish." - Oskar Schindler, Taken
@JasonGrimes-dm8fg
Жыл бұрын
Dang he aint even let their ghosts sleep
@0IIIIII
Жыл бұрын
Are you ok bro? -Sun Tzu, the Art of War
@hendrix8602
6 ай бұрын
The birth of civilization, ladies and gents. I wonder how we managed to squander such great start
@michaelmartin9022
6 ай бұрын
"Politics are getting so coarse these days. Why can't it be like old times?" Old times:
@oscarstaszky1960
2 ай бұрын
The carnage and brutality of our old prehistoric lives still took a loooong ass time to leave our collective culture away while civilization was just starting
@joaquinmunozmeschke1919
Жыл бұрын
Truly the bronze age was wild. Madmen like this, snake parasites, the abyss wide open
@matm4413
Жыл бұрын
then this guy comes in, all in white, and says love thy neighbor 💀
@sidneyshaw9814
9 ай бұрын
Nah this was during the iron age, which was much worse than the bronze age.
@hamstsorkxxor
8 ай бұрын
@@matm4413 You're wrong by about half a millennium, early early-mid iron age was a long time ago.
@hajagameznstuff6956
5 ай бұрын
"Videogames cause violence 🤓" Calmest ancient Mesopotamian king:
@spaghettitime1124
3 ай бұрын
I'm pretty sure I recruited this guy into my party in Fear and Hunger.
@Chubbyninja357
Жыл бұрын
Anyone else hear a good hard metal melody through this?
@burialgoods
Жыл бұрын
check description
@gizka6816
7 ай бұрын
yeah Nile is sick
@Kwisatz-Chaderach
7 ай бұрын
Assyrians out here literally making pyramids outta skulls.
@ziggytheassassin5835
6 ай бұрын
For reference, the first one was written after the Elamites conspired with his brother to declare babylon independent and invade assyria. I dont know what the second ones from. The third one was written by Ashurbanipals' grandfather, senacharib, who was describing how he put down a rebellion.
@Unnatural09
6 ай бұрын
Historians called this period the black and white period as everyone in that period did horrific things to each others enemies. However, Asserians it seems are on top of that list. Also, strangely Persians came after them and started bulidng temples for other religions, giving back god statues and creating the first document of human rights.
@zeriel9148
5 ай бұрын
Not that surprising actually, if you think about it. WW2 had a similar effect. Bad shit happens, so people try to make sure it doesn't happen again... until the living memory of bad shit fades, then start all over again.
@jonathanspeicher5298
Жыл бұрын
The new Mad Max looks unusually promising. 💁
@schroedingersband
Жыл бұрын
*laughs in Assyrian*
@rightfeelI
7 ай бұрын
laughs in Median
@PalashaGabarra
6 ай бұрын
No true Assyrian would have a furry profile pic.
@abhinavchauhan7864
5 ай бұрын
@@rightfeelIlaughs in old persian
@samblackstone3400
Ай бұрын
@@abhinavchauhan7864 laughs in macedonian
@glibcholera1481
Жыл бұрын
He feels like a good guy to have as friend
@IronChaos-sw1bo
8 ай бұрын
Seriously! No one would ever be able to mess with you.
@AdamVollmer
7 ай бұрын
Wow, yeah, sounds like you've really had a busy year! Just more of the same for me, mostly, though i have started learning to do pottery. I think it's going pretty well, you should take a look at some of the better pots I've made so far. Honestly, I'm really glad we have time to catch up, we don't see each other too often anymore.
@redeye4516
7 ай бұрын
If you know about Ashurbanipal and you know about the Iran-Iraq war from 1980 to 1988, you know that war in that region never actually changes.
@anonymouskultist
Жыл бұрын
Checking the dates of those posts and checking today. I am speechless, that's some fresh baked /his/ right there.
@Ibrahim-jf5nm
5 ай бұрын
Time traveling to the Iron Age to live out my barbarian fantasies.
@Murgraht
5 ай бұрын
It's from Bronze Age bro
@holypaladin4657
3 ай бұрын
@@Murgraht This is iron age, and had been for a while.
@handbanana4899
7 ай бұрын
Honestly this is very calming. It's very relaxing to remember you live long after the times when Ashurbanipal was alive to bully you.
@animaerapstarark76
7 ай бұрын
So for extra context read below. When Assyria was at war with Babylon, the Elamites kept attacking Assyria, and being a thorn in there side. Elam was trying to crush Assyria and was being annoying. once Babylonia got destroyed by the might of the Assyrians, Ashurbanipal turned his face towards Elam and raped them something savage.
@bastardsofdorn3062
6 ай бұрын
This is so good. I'm showung this to my students in my mesopotamian class.
@jacobwiren8142
6 ай бұрын
"Sir, this is a Wendy's."
@wargriffin5
6 ай бұрын
"You're not you when you're hungry; have a Snickers." 😉
@quirinoguy8665
3 ай бұрын
I love playing as him in CIV 5, I razed seven cities of the Iroquois because they insulted my civilization for going Tall and having a stable economy.
@mitchf.4450
7 ай бұрын
This is just a composition of pieces of his quotes as he goes into much detail of his spoils of war taken in conflict and his other actions during the conflicts themselves. But this does get to the point on who this guy really was.
@chuckthewizard7288
Жыл бұрын
How I feel when stubbing my toe in the dark
@jacobturner1490
7 ай бұрын
Funerary poems of Bronze Age god-kings be like
@duyas1628
7 ай бұрын
God I love this, I've listened to this 5 times already today.
@mateuszbanaszak4671
6 ай бұрын
I really like the idea of "Librarian" in ranks of Khorne's Legions, who writes down achievments of Marines in his reach.
@frankmckenneth9254
Жыл бұрын
I fear for your vocal cords holy shit
@burialgoods
Жыл бұрын
I smoke and holler almost every day, they can take the beating
@GardensAndGames
7 ай бұрын
I would listen to historical death metal like this. I already love Sabaton.
@godoforder1828
6 ай бұрын
And then he crowned himself "king of the universe" as he consolidates city-states into an empire the size of Ohio
@PalashaGabarra
27 күн бұрын
And that was the largest empire ever, at the time. What have you done with your life?
@godoforder1828
27 күн бұрын
@@PalashaGabarra i post racist comments on youtube, what about you?
@PalashaGabarra
27 күн бұрын
@@godoforder1828 Same.
@Christianos_Theophile
Жыл бұрын
Diodorus has some interesting things to say about this guy
@titanomachy2217
7 ай бұрын
Like what?
@joeo2533
3 ай бұрын
Jonah: Ninevah? The Almighty: Yes Jonah: The same Ninevah where that guy hang the heads of kings upon the necks of nobles before marching them around the city square? The Almighty: Yes Jonah: Ok (attempts to flee)
@bobboberson2736
7 ай бұрын
Most peaceful Assyrian
@uberfeel
4 ай бұрын
Assyria was basically Rome, if rome was too bloodthirsty and too prideful with their genocides. These were the people who invented the crucifixion method which later the Rome adopted it remind you.
@internetxxx_pl0r3r_xxx77
Жыл бұрын
Unironically putting this one in my workout music playlist.
@reid3031
5 ай бұрын
If you've ever wondered why the prophet Jonah tried to flee to the ends of the Earth rather than give the Assyrians even the tiniest chance of repenting, here's your answer
@Stormseer88
6 ай бұрын
This is Angron if he was actually somewhat sane and not a complete nutcase!
@angusyang5917
8 ай бұрын
most peaceful Assyrian king:
@themarlboromandalorian
Жыл бұрын
I hope you don't have neighbours. They'd probably be concerned.
@burialgoods
Жыл бұрын
They certainly would, if I had any lol
@Tarik360
8 ай бұрын
He took care of that problem
@arnantphongsatha7906
7 ай бұрын
He has subjects now.
@crgrunner5054
7 ай бұрын
*HE ATE THEM!*
@ardugaleen2231
7 ай бұрын
@@crgrunner5054 HE FED THEIR DISMEMBERED FLESH TO DOGS PIGS VULTURES BIRDS OF THE HEAVENS AND FISH OF THE APSU
@_Jay_Maker_
Жыл бұрын
Damn BG, Nile is fucking sick.
@burialgoods
Жыл бұрын
That song and this greentext were made for each other
@Tarik360
10 ай бұрын
Finally someone read this one out loud!
@EarwaxDeserved
Жыл бұрын
Holy shit bro, calm down - King of Sizu
@Mygg_Jeager
Жыл бұрын
Who?
@EarwaxDeserved
Жыл бұрын
@@Mygg_Jeagerone of the kings he killed
@Mygg_Jeager
Жыл бұрын
@@EarwaxDeserved thanks :)
@mosterchife6045
7 ай бұрын
Least brutal Assyrian king
@SigismundSonOfDorn
5 ай бұрын
Fun fact, my blood line finds it's roots in this schizoid
@vitvs
5 ай бұрын
You must carry on his legacy.
@A.Odara.23
5 ай бұрын
I would be honored
@therealgeneralMacArthur
4 ай бұрын
Listen, all im saying is that you should respect your ancestors legacy... And that San Fransisco is right there
@Dimitrije_Sukovic
8 ай бұрын
Elamites, Medes, and finally, the Persians: *I'm about to end this man's whole career.*
@robertusaugustus2003
7 ай бұрын
Scythians: WAIT FOR US
@Timesignmaid
Жыл бұрын
Ahhh that was a lazy Sunday. Now on Monday i was angry-
@PrimarchRegalious
7 ай бұрын
FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND YEARS!
@darknessml6145
7 ай бұрын
Unquantifiably based
@brothercoconut6599
Жыл бұрын
welp that's fucking metal dude - holy shit!
@Jovian7
2 ай бұрын
This is the superior version
@toddkatz9700
5 ай бұрын
Ah, yes... "The good ol' days."
@xangarvey
Жыл бұрын
Liked for the use of Nile as a soundtrack
@zer9761
9 ай бұрын
>least bloodtristy assyrian
@robertmiles1603
8 ай бұрын
At first I thought the video was a bit generic, but I have to admit, the part with the heads tower was pretty clever. I mean, yes, the Mongols did make skull mountains, but towers specifically? You can't imitate that. It'd be REALLY impressive if you could even go up and walk around inside it on a staircase made of heads. He could lock dissidents in there so they can see the heads of their relatives and get an idea of what happens when they cross him. If he spread the word it'd really keep everyone in line.
@bazookaboss332
7 ай бұрын
The Ottomans did it after a rebellion in Serbia.
@robertmiles1603
5 ай бұрын
@@bazookaboss332 But if Ashurbanipal really did that he'd probably be the first.
@maninthesnow4393
Жыл бұрын
Hes not that insane for a warlord
@wallaceyork
6 ай бұрын
There is such a thing as righteous anger
@IronChaos-sw1bo
7 ай бұрын
Every one should do push-ups to to this on repeat
@amogusenjoyer
5 ай бұрын
He said, calmly.
@andomrtoob7338
11 күн бұрын
You know it's gonna be good when they start with >*inhales*
@jimbelaco4
24 күн бұрын
Modern Leaders: "We will be making a statement later today, the prime minister is very busy in this trying time. Ashurbanipal: "Give me the microphone."
@arthurquiliao2675
7 ай бұрын
oh. so the bible didnt exaggerate. like at all.
@TheUSgoverment
7 ай бұрын
Honestly, The bible downplayed some of this shit
@roflchiefmcjoflchief1791
Жыл бұрын
Silly lad being goofy and silly
@Robin_Goodfellow
7 ай бұрын
Oh god stop I have a cold it hurts to laugh
@tokoyonokuni4656
4 ай бұрын
That time when Khorne and Tzeentch decided to have a proto-Abaddon who wasn't (h)armless.
@jjjjhgg1836
7 ай бұрын
So, is this the ASMR videos everyone talking about?
@ocignath3221
2 ай бұрын
This could very well be a Nile song tbh
@jonhstonk7998
7 ай бұрын
He´s one of those historical characters I can relate to, if I ever get to power he´d be a role model to follow!
@zsdmrtzmrde
6 ай бұрын
I should play another Settra campaign
@spectoestis3106
Жыл бұрын
what in god's holy name
@gutterpheonix
2 ай бұрын
So they got up to hijinx and dare I say, shenanigans
@Talesfromthefoodofficial
6 ай бұрын
LIKE THE SEEDS OF CUCUMBERS
@zlosov5817
8 ай бұрын
This new Dethklok single sounds fire
@IndustrialBonecraft
6 ай бұрын
Great music choice.
@stanleyholmes1266
8 ай бұрын
Considering what he did with those who surrendered, why the f would anyone ever surrender to anyone like him?
@condedooku9750
7 ай бұрын
The hope that maybe you survive, basically that, maybe that day the enemy king has mercifully woke up and just enslaves you. But make no mistake, warfare in this era was always like that, Ashurbanipal and the Assyrians were only more successful.
@arnantphongsatha7906
7 ай бұрын
These were those who didn't surrender on the first offer.
@Cadriul
6 ай бұрын
Konrad Kruze: bruh chill.
@animaerapstarark76
7 ай бұрын
Khaya ashurayu the mighty king Ashur bani apli ❤️🙏 - wigger was brutal.
@wallaceyork
6 ай бұрын
When a righteous man is pushed too far lol
@AlucardVanHellsing11
2 ай бұрын
What stele or tablet is this speech from
@shuginubi
29 күн бұрын
Acoustic version of Sleeping Giant by Mastodon would fit insanely
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