Soo, crab slavers tried to steal living plushies from the murder apes? This what is widely regarded as "mistake #1"
@aronnemcsik
2 жыл бұрын
what could possibly go wrong with that plan...
@highlordinquisitor4882
2 жыл бұрын
Murder apes. OMG LMAOROTF
@Case2_0
Жыл бұрын
Murder apes!
@vanevanhaagen4011
Жыл бұрын
I beg to differ. for me its known as: "last Mistake they ever make" We will bond with cute and cuddly and will mercilessly slaughter the entire Universe if needed to protect it.
@bobpritchett5387
Жыл бұрын
*geno/xenocide apes. We've wiped out more species/peoples for less reason on our own world in this timeline
@ottoia9126
2 жыл бұрын
A toast, for every HFY protag that gets possessed by the spirit of Doom Slayer the second anything adjacent to enemy shows up
@BeeKisses
2 жыл бұрын
Is that not the human thing to do? Scream fuck you and bite face?
@eliandervalderen5849
2 жыл бұрын
Rip and tear
@dillduvee7040
2 жыл бұрын
@@BeeKisses hell yea haha
@GodoStory
2 жыл бұрын
Well buddy get drinking because it’s going to take untell the universe’s ends to finish
@marakevans3984
Жыл бұрын
@@eliandervalderen5849 Unarmed Human: *Smiles* Xeno: *Kalm* Unarmed Human: *Starts playing Rip and Tear* Xeno: *Panik* Human: *Pulls out Energy Weapon* Xeno: *Starts hearing BFG Division playing from weapon*
@DeadWayfes
2 жыл бұрын
Gotta be terrifying to everyone once humans EAT the dead crabs
@blackthrone6976
2 жыл бұрын
pretty sure that was a joke... at least i hope it was
@thelaughinghyenas8465
2 жыл бұрын
@@blackthrone6976 , Why waste good, fresh food?
@chrisb9143
2 жыл бұрын
@@thelaughinghyenas8465 I love eating crabs
@bendover9813
2 жыл бұрын
@@blackthrone6976 You’re telling me that, if a giant crab tried to kill you but you got the drop on it, you WOULDN’T want to see if it tastes good???
@vysekrugger9186
2 жыл бұрын
@@blackthrone6976 if it looks like a crab someone is definitely going to try if it tastes like crab they are lucky the species was not made into cattle
@marclytle644
2 жыл бұрын
We can be your greatest friends. Or your greatest foes. Choose wisely. Also, if you think the adults are bad, don't mess with the children. Actually, messing with the kids just makes the adults even worse. Furthermore, do NOT hurt the doggos!
@chris210racer
2 жыл бұрын
Often, the kids are far worse. Lord of the Flies exemplifies this.
@zerumsum1640
2 жыл бұрын
oh messing with the kids is far worse. Kids don't care what they do, plus if you hurt them you then have to deal with the adults. And adults who are angry at you because you hurt their kids... You see the kids didn't know any better. The adults know better... and far worse as well.
@logancherrington813
2 жыл бұрын
There is a reason dog is god backwards
@seanpeacock4290
2 жыл бұрын
or the kitties
@LockandLoad79
2 жыл бұрын
@@seanpeacock4290 or the Ratties. Or the Bunnies. Especially The Bunnies. Doomguy will not suffer such foolishness.
@wrathshorts2894
2 жыл бұрын
Alien Crab Slavers: Attack baby otter friends. Human Brain: Kill zem all. Human: Are you sure? Human Brain: Yes. Human: Well, I'm convinced.
@lucasgamerbr2774
Жыл бұрын
TF2 animation reference?
@SteelFr0nt
7 ай бұрын
Human. Well, you don’t have to tell me twice.
@alyshaharper8730
7 ай бұрын
sounds about right
@Somebody59
6 ай бұрын
@@lucasgamerbr2774 No, I believe it from ST: TNG (Star Trek : The Next Gen)
@FedralBI
2 жыл бұрын
Adorable space otters in danger! Release a group of teenagers who haven't learned restraint on the slavers... the poor bastards.
@jeremyhedge2207
2 жыл бұрын
It’s not that they haven’t learned restraint, the situation deemed it non-essential and removed the restrictions.
@machinist7230
2 жыл бұрын
There is nothing as blood thirsty as a kid.
@aronnemcsik
2 жыл бұрын
@@machinist7230 there's nothing as blood thirsty as a kid that protecting what they love...
@JimmyAgent007
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for reading my story! It was a lot of fun to write.
@peterwall8191
2 жыл бұрын
*JimmyAgent007* Our honour and pleasure to have you amongst us. Thank you for your trouble in creating a fun story. I hope there are more to come.
@jordanshadows3253
Жыл бұрын
Your story is definitely in my top 5 favorites 😁
@leonardnorling3769
Жыл бұрын
(Supposed to be read in a jovial tone) Hey it's how I like to spend my time, and it was a lot of fun to read and listen to so no regrets here!
@Lupus_Indomitus
Жыл бұрын
@@jordanshadows3253yeah. Same
@MarkGoding
9 ай бұрын
It made me tear up a bit.
@noisyash4234
2 жыл бұрын
i love the "evolve to crabs" coming up in this
@eliandervalderen5849
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah lot of things on earth evolved into crabs to for some crazy reason
@DimitriKurkov
2 жыл бұрын
Personally, I never get why anyone would like an otter. Sure they look soft but they... *Blam* By the decree of his most holy Inquisition, this heretic have been deemed unfit for the privilege of existence. For the Emperor and for the love of everything cute and cuddly. =][=
@calvingreene90
2 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@Coolbond2
2 жыл бұрын
Otters ESPECIALLY sea otters are murderous sonova bitches.
@calvingreene90
2 жыл бұрын
@@Coolbond2 So are house cats.
@jacobfoss7783
2 жыл бұрын
@@calvingreene90 And we still love them.
@nvfury13
5 ай бұрын
All must love the smart water ferrets!
@fireblast133
2 жыл бұрын
what Paul's people did not realize, was humanity had performed a pack bond. Humanity is insane, and will do insane things for the pack.
@BeeKisses
2 жыл бұрын
You fuck with ours, you fuck with us. TERRA INVICTUS
@theicyphoenix_7745
2 жыл бұрын
ah yes another stellaris player i see you're a man of culture aswell
@eliandervalderen5849
2 жыл бұрын
Never try to enslave anyone around a group of humans. Especially not if what you're trying to enslave is erased as cute and cuddly people
@chrisb9143
2 жыл бұрын
otters enslave crabs : "we'll let it go this time" crabs enslave otter : "so, you have chosen death" *DOOM musics kicks in*
@eliandervalderen5849
2 жыл бұрын
@@chrisb9143 first we have to see if the offers are trying to assimilate the crabs. Then we have to decide. Besides I remember Universe where humans were going out of their way to try and save alien crabs that were being captured and eaten
@d73w80
Жыл бұрын
@@chrisb9143 otters enslave crabs, humans: have you tried boiling them alive, cracking open their shells and eating them? It's delicious. Slap that meat on a bun with a bit of mayo
@Sora-md1ye
2 жыл бұрын
My brain went straight to the Penguins of Madagascar when I read the title. Cute and cuddly, boys. Cute and cuddly.
@bendover9813
2 жыл бұрын
Honestly, I hate that it’s actually incredibly likely that the majority of alien species are crab-like. It’s obviously a great body plan for mindless animals, or else it wouldn’t have convergently-evolved in multiple different families of animals. The other thing though, is that it’s an incredible body plan for sapience too; a distinction between legs and arms, a forward facing head to house the brain in, strong, natural armor, and even potentially more advanced manipulators than BIG, MEATY, CLAWS!
@Coolbond2
2 жыл бұрын
except for the lack of any reason for self evolution, no reason to make armor if you are armored yourself and no reason to make weapons when you got pincers. add to that as aquatic specie there is no reason for them to discover and harness electricity.
@MachineMan-mj4gj
2 жыл бұрын
@@Coolbond2 Land crabs that evolved on a planet full of things that can eat crabs, conflict with neighboring communities leading to the development of enhancements for their natural weapons. If their tech tree started with cultivating various species into tools or livestock, they may not even need to develop electricity.
@eleventhprimarch5303
2 жыл бұрын
*"To the Coalition of Armed Student Volunteers"* I wish my college had a Xeno Stomping club.
@calvingreene90
2 жыл бұрын
If you think the kids are dangerous to fight wait till you fight our actual military.
@aussieginger1960
10 ай бұрын
Why do you think they surrendered to the kids!
@calvingreene90
10 ай бұрын
@@aussieginger1960 Because they were losing badly.
@normiesalvador1854
2 жыл бұрын
Wait... "community service"? So either they're about to graduate from high school or are juvenile delinquents. I know which one is going to be my headcanon.
@Chaosrunepownage
2 жыл бұрын
Some crimes are punished with community service instead of or in addition to fines or prison time, so it can include adults too.
@brianlance8263
2 жыл бұрын
They are high schoolers, it is brought up right at the end that the slavers surrendered to high school students in addition to the students community service requirements.
@nweasels
2 жыл бұрын
Considering they're all into doing habitat work for space otters I'm thinking it's more likely they're an offshoot of the Youth Conservation Corps.
@JimmyAgent007
2 жыл бұрын
I had to do community service for high school credit to graduate so I figured if students are going to war, they would claim it counted as such. It just popped in my head as I finished writing it.
@AdmiralStoicRum
2 жыл бұрын
Community service to graduate is stupid.
@donaldscholand4617
Жыл бұрын
Evil space crab planning meeting: "So, the Hu-mans have a bias in favor of fur covered creatures? We will cover ourselves with fur and catch them off their guard!". Humans: "Aargh! Giant hairy space tarantulas!" STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! (I feel sort of sorry for the Crabs, in a way, but I'd still eat them! 😋)
@johnadler6987
Жыл бұрын
Oh my god lmfao.
@xsmon8932
Жыл бұрын
This got me to good in my work field
@chrissoto7187
2 жыл бұрын
PROTECT THE FLUFFS!!!!
@DrfeelgoodPhD69
Жыл бұрын
Space otters exist. Every human in unison. We will die for you.
@herrjudge5141
2 жыл бұрын
For the space otters!
@yeetus5572
2 ай бұрын
FOR THE CUTE AND CUDDLY!
@goldiegolderman1842
2 жыл бұрын
Space Otters for the win!
@robertbemis9800
2 жыл бұрын
Don’t fight wars with humans Especially when your Delicious with lemon and butter
@johnadler6987
Жыл бұрын
And your guns are about as "deadly" as cat bites.
@mlmii1933
Жыл бұрын
@johnadler6987 ... Probably designed to create fractures in exoskeletons ... shame that humans bruise.
@ghosty5478
Жыл бұрын
This story gives me strong "protect the lil un's!" Vibes
@supermal65-20
2 жыл бұрын
Good snacks are hard fought
@paulhuston9991
2 жыл бұрын
This is one of the very first HFY I ever heard and I have been hooked ever since! Nothing like community service to straighten out a kid. Lol
@NovaGirl8
2 жыл бұрын
iirc, this was not one ofbthose detention things but one of those volunteer things that some schools offer to students for extra credits. No delinquents in here unless they volunteered for the chance to see space otters
@JimmyAgent007
2 жыл бұрын
@@NovaGirl8 For my high school we had to do a few hours of community service, so I figured that was normal for other people when I wrote this lol
@volatilesky
Жыл бұрын
Hahaha dear lord, as a construction worker and tradesman, i can only imagine the kind of chaos and improvised weapons that would ensue if several crews of us working on a skyscraper got word to "protect our space otter friends with anything available". Especially when we see the hostiles also as potential food.
@JimmyAgent007
10 ай бұрын
Food that talks isn't food, but if you kill it before it talks, can it then be food?
@Talon968
7 ай бұрын
If it is humanoid, Intelligent, and peaceful. Then it is not food. But if it looks like an animal, is violent, and is trying to kill you or your friends. Then it is dinner time.
@thomasschulz2167
6 ай бұрын
Tell Cookie to break out the butter and bibs I want these crabs served up on a silver platter. After all a concrete saw is just a giant gas powered knife...
@jonathanblair5920
2 жыл бұрын
Don't ever screw with human pack bonds xD
@eleethtahgra7182
2 жыл бұрын
Cute n cuddly. There is one species, on earth, that put lots of evolution point into that and was brought back from endangered status.
@Will-mk5pj
11 ай бұрын
Could you imagine the conversations some of those kids were having with their parents? “Bye mom and dad, the otter group are gonna go on a crusade against some slavers!” “Okay honey, be safe!” “Bring butter- wait that might be bad…”
@SiegeTF
2 жыл бұрын
Good thing they weren't Space Amazon River Otters, or we'd have sided with the Yukaks!
@dominicjuckes3988
2 жыл бұрын
Explain plz
@mr.e6289
2 жыл бұрын
@@dominicjuckes3988 amazon river otters are umm, well they kind of look like tiny waterlogged old men. they a re not as cute as other otters, you just need to look up there images to see what i mean
@@SiegeTF the other otters weren’t any better, especially the Sea Otters. Less said of their mating habits the better.
@Elholz
2 жыл бұрын
@@mr.e6289 I absolutely love the term waterlogged old men
@luftwaffle3766
2 жыл бұрын
Ah yes crabs. Always crabs.
@maxwyght1840
8 ай бұрын
In this tale: A bunch of student workers(probably 14-18) on some kinda work study brought down an alien slaver empire for extra credits.
@JimmyAgent007
6 ай бұрын
Gotta pad those college applications!
@nweasels
2 жыл бұрын
Wait.... basically a group of Youth Conservation Corps crews took down a slaver empire? FUCK YEAH!
@carlfranz6805
Жыл бұрын
I still just love this story. This and "The Goodest Little Doggo". At least I think that's what it was called.
@scott644
Жыл бұрын
I'm a bit late to the party but... 1. Humans are biologically programmed to adore and protect what we generally consider cute and cuddly. 2. They will therefore very often unleash the fires of hell on threats to cute and cuddly. In line with this, I'm wondering if anybody has the courage to take on writing a HFY story involving the HOKA (ref. Poul Anderson and Gordon Dickson).
@seanrobert9661
2 жыл бұрын
For the love of cute & cuddle For the bard For the narrator For the hourdes Oooooo space COKE {something something algorithm}
@sheller153
Жыл бұрын
Humans: aww, wook at da widdle baby space otter! Space crabs: we will enslave the baby space otters! Humans, in unison: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! KAR EN TUK, KUS EN TETA, KAR EN TUK, DU TAE EX UNT! (Or, I suppose: hemolymph for the hemolymph god, carapace for the carapace throne!)
@thebackwardsgamer8063
2 жыл бұрын
Defend the floofs
@reesewhittington6778
Жыл бұрын
The funny thing is, we are only ever monsters so that others don't become one. or when someone starts one of the Eternal Debates, like GIF, Pineapple on pizza, and what is love?
@nk_3332
Жыл бұрын
No better friend, no worse enemy - General James Mattis
@NatsuDragn33I
2 жыл бұрын
I mean.... I too would fight to defend sentient space otters
@deborahmcneil747
6 ай бұрын
I like this style of personal stories that are not verbose but involve personalities
@juliantotriwijaya9208
Жыл бұрын
Giant Crab 1: "sir, it seem humans love furry things as they consider it cute" Giant Crab 2: "I see, let us visit them wearing fur next time, perhaps this will improve our galactic relationship and we don't unintentionally scare them anymore" *later...bunch of giant crabs in fursuits visit* Giant Crab 2: "hello human, we meet once again, we come in peace, be not affraid for we all cute and cuddly" Humans: "AHHHHHHH GIANT SPIDERS!"
@JimmyAgent007
10 ай бұрын
It's an actual joke I had for a potential sequel, but the human asks how the alien knew about Halloween and how to dress up for it. The alien just says he's good at his job and plays it cool.
@eleklovatka7666
5 ай бұрын
Nobody? Alright... "He's so fluffy! I'm gonna die!"
@DaxSudo
Жыл бұрын
Butter for the Crab God!
@GenStallion
2 жыл бұрын
Mmmmm, crab
@chrisb9143
2 жыл бұрын
Who brings the butter ?
@stella251
2 жыл бұрын
And the lemons
@thelaughinghyenas8465
2 жыл бұрын
Nice. A very pleasant story to start the day with.
@Heidao623
2 жыл бұрын
I wonder if the students ate them... If they did, were they delicious?
@chrisb9143
2 жыл бұрын
I love crabs
@bendover9813
2 жыл бұрын
I mean, you tell me; giant crab prolly equals giant flavor
@matthewklestinski7030
2 жыл бұрын
That would explain why they surrendered before the Humans could launch a more.. thorough examination of their culinary value. Humans don't take slaves.. but do enjoy firm, freshly baked crab flesh. Butter is a very persuasive substance.
@chongwillson972
2 жыл бұрын
@@matthewklestinski7030 please tell me your joking about eating another walking talking living being. because thats gross , and that means you must be aright with xeno's eating human dead bodies
@matthewklestinski7030
2 жыл бұрын
@@chongwillson972 Do humans eat crabs? Find the answer to that, and you know why crab Xenos should be extra-cautious about getting Humans involved in any war possibilities. If you yourself refrain from eating crabs, you are allowed to hold yourself back from attending the festivities, in fact, I would expect you to hold to your position. Your opinion that eating crabs is "gross" is your opinion. If we encounter Tree folk/ fauna Xenos that are quite big on the cycle of life, and believe that good people of any and every species deserve to be permitted back into the mulch of the Cosmos after they pass on, then I'm okay with them, as you put it, to be a 'Xeno eating human dead bodies', if they do it with the consent of all involved, and consider it an honor. Or are you suddenly not willing to embrace other cultures' values when it's "gross" to you?
@jakevex4198
Жыл бұрын
Humans love cute things if you harm cute things we will harm you and we will keep harming you until you are no longer breathing because we love cute things
@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH
2 жыл бұрын
Bless the Narrator Bless the Author
@rockfan243
Жыл бұрын
PROTECT THE SPACE WATER PUPPIES.
@JimmyAgent007
Жыл бұрын
Very much so!
@Kualinar
Жыл бұрын
Super cute otter like aliens surrounded by height young ones... They couldn't have ever made a better choice. Yukaks slaver expedition attack. After the attack, the Humans are : All you can eat Giant Crab buffet night ! Pass the butter.
@paxamericania5923
Жыл бұрын
The enamy wont be as cute and cuddly as I am! - unsc sargent on the arc
@amberliddell4503
8 ай бұрын
This is actually a really cute story
@JimmyAgent007
6 ай бұрын
Thanks! Glad you think so.
@angrycrusader3926
2 жыл бұрын
Warlike Space Crabs decide to conquer Peaceful Space Otters! Humanity: *RIPE AND TEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Space Crabs: Why do I hear Boss Music? (kzitem.info/news/bejne/loSwmXyOsHd4Z4I)
@An_Ian
2 жыл бұрын
Given this was a 1st contact scenario Id suspect UN military would be on standby. I find it highly unlikely that ship would have even landed if this story happened IRL. Unregister ship claiming to collect slaves bitch we invented this game before you arrived, and we ain't playing.
@aronnemcsik
2 жыл бұрын
Kids "accidentally" switched off the alarm system because it scared the pups. after that the food delivered itself...
@An_Ian
2 жыл бұрын
@@aronnemcsik Ya thats probaly the best answer Im gonna get
@Llangion
Жыл бұрын
Save the fluffy!
@torgomaghanyan7633
2 жыл бұрын
Bear sales go brrrr
@dirkechoes1377
3 ай бұрын
Crab slavers: We're here to conquer! Humans: Delicious Crab: What? Human: What?
@JohnTheRaeder-xf5sh
4 ай бұрын
Those who don't know, like the deplomatic situation like this like releasing a puppy in a office while doing negotiation. It is how you do, did, make, and treat. The puppy Showing care and love to it, make you a good ally, make a bad move like shoving it for many feet can make a bad relationship, and lastly if you either harm and hit the puppy. Well your reputation and charisma goes down hill like in deeper.
@tylerwilliams417
2 жыл бұрын
Damn, now I kinda want some crab.
@amberpelton5679
7 ай бұрын
I totally loved this story!
@JimmyAgent007
6 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@gunilive781
9 ай бұрын
I mean to be fair, a alien civilization showing up only to steal the others that made first contact would 100% send us into war for the first contact babes
@JimmyAgent007
9 ай бұрын
Agreed!
@carlfranz6805
Жыл бұрын
Yup. We're weird monsters.
@norneaernourn8240
6 ай бұрын
I can see how docile and tame aliens would see us as irrational monsters simply by seeing the sh!t we do when we're young. Even we ourselves wondered how we managed to grow into adulthood sometimes.
@JimmyAgent007
6 ай бұрын
We are more durable than we think sometimes. ;p Thanks for listening.
@WiredTurkey316
2 жыл бұрын
By the power of Darigold!
@evelynjolly9375
Жыл бұрын
Listen we eat all like nothing. You aint taking the cuties
@richardorta8960
5 ай бұрын
We can still be lovably psychopathic 🤣
@theoink636
Ай бұрын
The Emporer protects.
@davethompson3326
4 ай бұрын
Baby otters would be a definite improvement over giant spacefaring crustaceans. Anyone who has read of the Prador in Neal Ashers Polity novels might have actually crapped themselves at first contact.
@wulfricgale4381
4 ай бұрын
We've known space otter for 5 seconds but if anything happens to them we will destroy existence and ourselves - Humans probably
@additiveartificer9365
Жыл бұрын
Bring The BUTTER AND THAI SEAFOOD SAUCE!!!!
@michaelfisher4408
4 ай бұрын
Crabs back on the menu boys!
@Iluvantir
Жыл бұрын
Awesome story, but I'm actually hoping it was just because it was CHILDREN and TEENS defending the Cute and Cuddly Otter-People-Plushies that the "joke" of 'who has the butter' was said. No matter how delicious an alien looks, if it's sapient it's "cannibalism" in a galactic extended meaning. Hell of a good joke from teens, tho... I hope! lol
@JimmyAgent007
10 ай бұрын
It depends on whos asking and if the answer is legally binding.
@alexlim864
5 ай бұрын
"Hold on to my furrrr, I like it. . . . " 😘
@elbabecerra3064
2 жыл бұрын
Lovey
@foogee5403
3 ай бұрын
If you enjoyed this one, you might also like: Babysitter: kzitem.info/news/bejne/yHuo2qCipWOmg6A The Nanny: kzitem.info/news/bejne/u3imtH5rs56Xf6A
@cirroc213
2 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@joshbras9400
Ай бұрын
Welp, we've went to war for much less...
@Michael-fd1gx
2 жыл бұрын
I feel I have read/heard this story before.
@Cemtexify
2 жыл бұрын
I hate stories like this that portray humans as so unprofessional our best diplomats shriek and scream little baby space otters the 1st time they see an alien
@Gilhelmi
Жыл бұрын
I always assume that was a new intern fresh out of college......... and the ambassadors and diplomats were face-palming hard at the lack of decorum. At least the Space Otters were good sports about the whole incident.
@redoanda_teawitchdragon
Жыл бұрын
Bro who are you kidding, we definitely would scream at adorable baby space otters😁
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