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Understanding and Updating Attachment Theory for the 21st Century!
No matter which attachment style you think you are, you might be wrong! In this video, Adam Lane Smith, the Attachment Specialist, reveals why our understanding of attachment styles needs a significant update. Despite being based on research from over 70 years ago, attachment theory remains one of the best tools we have to understand our relationships. However, with up to 65% of Gen Z experiencing insecure attachment, it's time for a modern refresh.
About Adam Lane Smith:
Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist has spent the last 15 years immersed in the study of psychology and relationships, earning a master’s degree and apprenticing under five different clinicians. His extensive experience, combined with his personal journey overcoming attachment issues, gives him a unique perspective on attachment theory.
Why Update Attachment Theory?
-Outdated Categories: The traditional attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized) no longer fully capture the complexities of modern relationships.
-Personal and Professional Experience: Adam’s combined knowledge from academic studies and personal experience with attachment issues highlights the need for more nuanced categories.
-Expert Collaboration: Consulting with top experts like Dr. Sue Carter and Dr. John Delony, Adam incorporates cutting-edge research into his updated framework.
Introducing the New Attachment Styles
Secure Attachment:
Original Secure: Those who grew up with secure attachment.
Remade Secure: Individuals who were not originally secure but have developed secure attachments through personal growth and effort.
Anxious Attachment:
Nurturing Anxious: Caring and ethical individuals who feel unlovable and are often misunderstood.
Toxic Anxious: Those who exhibit more resentful and manipulative behaviors, often externalizing blame.
Avoidant Attachment:
Ethical Avoidant: Avoidant individuals who do not wish to hurt others and prefer handling things independently.
Manipulative Avoidant: More resentful and blaming, these individuals often engage in toxic behaviors like stonewalling and gaslighting.
Disorganized Attachment
Loud Disorganized: Characterized by a cycle of seeking and fleeing intimacy, often creating chaotic relationship dynamics.
Quiet Disorganized: Avoidant on the outside but with a hidden anxious core, these individuals are often ethical and caring but struggle with internal self-worth.
How This Update Helps
Adam’s revised attachment styles offer a more detailed understanding of human behavior, allowing for better self-awareness and relationship building. These new categories help distinguish between non-toxic and toxic behaviors, providing clearer pathways for personal growth and secure attachment.
Ready to discover your true attachment style and work towards secure attachment? Comment below with your new attachment style and start using these terms in your conversations. Let’s update the dialogue around attachment theory together!
If you enjoyed this video then I would recommend you give this video on avoidant attachment a watch: • Can Avoidant Men ever ...
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Chapters:
00:00:00 - The outdatedness of attachment styles
00:02:06 - Understanding your Attachment Style for Relationship Success
00:04:07 - Remade Secure Attachment
00:06:15 - Understanding the Attachment Styles
00:08:15 - The Spectrum of Avoidant Attachment Styles
00:10:15 - Understanding the Loud and Quiet Disorganized Attachment Styles
00:12:18 - The Different Attachment Styles and Their Behaviors
00:14:12 - Updating Attachment Theory for the 21st Century
00:16:11 - Understanding Attachment Styles
00:18:15 - Using Attachments for Better Conversations
Негізгі бет Beyond The 4 Attachment Styles: Discovering the 8 Unique Types.
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