Bill Burr is fucken hilarious every time I listen to his podcasts he kills me. His monologue with himself is just pure gold. Enjoy him from 🇿🇦
@vandero.8742
3 жыл бұрын
"You can't teach a rabbit how to unload a truck "😂😂😂😂
@sabrinastarks7868
3 жыл бұрын
I laughed way too hard at that....seeing as I used to unload a truck for a living and my nickname was "coneja"
@timtaylor4042
2 жыл бұрын
Bills mind is an absolute God damn national treasure. I will not be told otherwise
@nabillahlabat5570
2 жыл бұрын
I live in the middle east, and I had a group of super religious friends, and they were the worst, they would always shame women who don't dress as they think they should, make fun of other religions, thought it was cool when an atheist or a gay guy died, they were actually happy with the Orlando attack, and everytime I try to have a debate with them, they have the flimsiest arguments that made no sense and they refuse to believe otherwise, they were insufferable, and always play the victim role when someone criticizes their religion, eventually I cut all ties with them, and my mental health improved drastically!
@mikeb2331
Жыл бұрын
I spent many years in the church and had many questions from seminary. I’ve seen enough egocentric, celebrity pastor like shenanigans that’ll make you wonder is blind loyalty really a good? I eventually walked away and I agree with your conclusion.
@nabillahlabat5570
Жыл бұрын
@@mikeb2331 Good for you 👍👍
@kantraxoikol6914
Жыл бұрын
why did you even remotely think you HAD friends like that?
@nabillahlabat5570
Жыл бұрын
@@kantraxoikol6914 I dunno, sometimes they were great, amazing people and we had a lot in common, but since I started slowly sharing my thoughts with them I discovered a disgusting Side about them
@MM-qi5mk
3 жыл бұрын
The opening line is gold 😂
@CB-ke7eq
3 жыл бұрын
Street football is no joke. Had a friend lose an eye to a car radio antenna on a corner fade back in '86.
@D34dlyAssassin9
3 жыл бұрын
Should’ve told him to keep the eye on the ball not antenna
@Aries1990
3 жыл бұрын
When you finally figure out that you don't have to care if a God is real or not and just focus on being the best you, you'll truly be at peace with yourself.
@michaelmckissack6341
3 жыл бұрын
Great take 👌🏾
@dirtymikentheboys5817
3 жыл бұрын
Nonsense. Follow God with fear is wisdom.
@Aries1990
3 жыл бұрын
@@dirtymikentheboys5817 Spoken like a true close minded person. But you do you.
@dirtymikentheboys5817
3 жыл бұрын
@@Aries1990 nonsense....you sound like a millennial.
@Aries1990
3 жыл бұрын
@@dirtymikentheboys5817 Whether I am or am not isn't a factor in this conversation. Hold on to your beliefs :)
@randyranderson690
3 жыл бұрын
if I am going to end up, ass-up in the ocean naked, I am going to start living with mis-matched socks so when people look for survivors I will be the story that they tell everyone around the camp fire.
@ellarealestate
2 жыл бұрын
Wow, this is kind of magical, just listening to him thinking outloud, loved it! 👍👍❤️❤️❤️
@Zarkarian64
3 жыл бұрын
If you haven't seen it, you'll love "Defending Your Life" '91 with Albert Brooks. Hilarious!😂😆🤣
@SoftDrinksOfChoice
3 жыл бұрын
I love Bill Burr's sports analogies.
@petewerehere
3 жыл бұрын
Eve: Would you like this apple? Adam: No, I would not. Eve, wounded: _WWWHHYYYYY?_
@Watcher4111
3 жыл бұрын
Just think about what would have happened if Pilate insisted to not crucify Jesus. Like he really didnt like to wash his hands. I imagine Jesus thinking "oh well, thats good bye to salvation" lol
@dirtymikentheboys5817
3 жыл бұрын
@@Watcher4111 we need a savior. If Adam and eve didn't to it, or Pilate didn't kill someone else would. Humans love not taking advice and killing each other.
@JacquesduPlessis11
3 жыл бұрын
@pete Satan *goes undercover as a serpent and offers fruit* God: I am going to punish all serpents. Real serpents: WWWHHYYYYYY???
@eddietat95
2 жыл бұрын
What else do we expect from a LAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@Imdarkmaster999
3 жыл бұрын
Thats gotta be the best intro to a video ever
@ItsShiggy
2 жыл бұрын
I've never heard something so relatable. So glad Im not the only one who does this. 5:45
@freeradical431
3 жыл бұрын
Mankinds most arrogant thought was to think he was alone in the universe, the second, was to think he could conquer it. Id like an "I love Bill" t-shirt that has a Bill Burr claymation picture instead of Mr. Bill.
@niicky155
2 жыл бұрын
Videos always make the day better bro
@thatsnotmyname1
3 жыл бұрын
You got to love Bill Burr..theres no other way lol
@terrysommers7239
3 жыл бұрын
thank god, i needed a laugh with this news of late
@bcatd
2 жыл бұрын
"TSA precheck line to heaven"..... going to keep and use that one
@monadamus42
3 жыл бұрын
"Walter Cronkite's and Conkette's." LOL
@Taylormademan900
Жыл бұрын
Bill Burr can go from God to Crocs
@aronbennett4760
3 жыл бұрын
In a room full of people and I'm all by myself.
@ScottGrow117
3 жыл бұрын
Guy: My lucky rabbit’s foot! Me: Not so lucky for the rabbit…
@daleunderwood7407
2 жыл бұрын
Ah finally hear my man Bill Burr talk about my other main man Patrick Mahomes! Love from Kansas City Bill!
@bacomiric1681
7 ай бұрын
I wouldn't talk about something i know very little about.
@chayheramirez1917
3 жыл бұрын
There are Watchers and overseers over every individual life to record everything you do every single thought and action you make.
@The_Kronicus
2 жыл бұрын
Prove it, please, I'd like to have a word with my personal scribe.
@bobfurman2739
3 жыл бұрын
Where human arrogance lies ,is in the fact that we made the supreme being in OUR image.Think about the diversity of life ,on this planet.Life has been here for billions of years.In geological time ,we have only been here a split second.
@gspublishingdirect1749
Жыл бұрын
Life-long Packer fan here! Yeah, still a damn list for season tix. U need to inherit the damn tix from your grandparents!!
@nyar5863
3 жыл бұрын
Billy trying to find fault in a rabbit: "Sure, they could use some invise-line, but nobody's perfect, right?" It's these little dumb side remarks that makes this show perfect without guests.
@nthgth
3 жыл бұрын
Invisalign lol
@rexmikes6270
3 жыл бұрын
even though i know that god is a sad joke that some dude made up you gotta understand that if god was real time is not a thing in whatever capacity people want to believe he exists so technically saying something "do you think god has the time" is kind of an impossible yet possible statement
@volhusky
3 жыл бұрын
You know nothing
@friendsoftheamazonjungle
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah, you played in the real street... Ya whateva suburban boy 😂🚦🎈🎁🍰
@PonyBoy1776
11 ай бұрын
The comparing liberals to rabbits part😂
@jaspersheridan1710
2 жыл бұрын
An now apply the idea of how absurd the reviewing life aspect of God is, and apply it to all the other LITERALLY INSANE shit written in (almost the entirety) the Bible
@Iris_and_or_George
3 жыл бұрын
He is so right! My plan to get into "heaven" is break down and cry..... works down on earth to get into (or out of) anything😅🤣😂
@Iris_and_or_George
2 жыл бұрын
@august opus *IF* he sees!
@kimisilv
3 жыл бұрын
I am in the car riders line literally DYING! Thanks for the laughs. What an awesome 13 minutes! #mademyday
@stellarcubicbeam7760
3 жыл бұрын
Bill just needs to discover Gene Hoglan and Nicholas Barker, he doesn't even know what real drumming is yet.
@RoisinT2
3 жыл бұрын
Trust me, he knows. Has been on Meshuggah gig several times etc. He knows these drummers..
@stellarcubicbeam7760
3 жыл бұрын
@@RoisinT2 That band? Not really a good example for how drumming should be.
@RoisinT2
3 жыл бұрын
@@stellarcubicbeam7760 Opinions. Like assholes. Everyone has one and they all stink as much. Point was, if he knows Haake, he sure knows Hoglan already. And, point was good drumming, not what kind of drumming.
@stellarcubicbeam7760
3 жыл бұрын
@@RoisinT2 No, that band you mentioned is bad and bad things will be addressed. The drummer is crap, period.
@RoisinT2
3 жыл бұрын
@@stellarcubicbeam7760 Opinions. Like assholes everyone has one and they all stink as much.
@rae2737
2 жыл бұрын
Drinking in the woods🤣🤣🤣🤣
@lennyjohnson9331
2 жыл бұрын
I once pulled up to a jack rabbit that got ran over , but wasn't harmed , I told him he better go ! , He just sat there. So I got out picked him up & put m into my passenger side of my car , & went to the bar , &a few hrs later I met 2 people who wanted to go to a get to together , & the dude who sat in the front passenger seat , got in I look & he's got that Jack rabbit on his lap petting it! LMAO , that fricken rabbit stayed in my car for two weeks ! He left on that Easter Sunday ! He moved into the next doors neighbors garage,. Idk if which is weirder the rabbit or the guy petting the rabbit, his name was von van Buren ? Wtf? Who the hell has a name like that , showed me his license and sure enough it was legit
@residentfan1521
3 ай бұрын
He had to leave to hide the eggs
@jamesdewane1642
3 жыл бұрын
Seems like the life review would be automated or part of the upload process as your life experience gets added to the database of everything. Ya know? and then that explains your life purpose, too, which isn't much more than just gathering reconnaissance.
@BillyTwinkleToes
3 жыл бұрын
Everything will become clear to us then.😉
@marcushillerstrom25
3 жыл бұрын
I see it like this, God is outside of time, space and matter (if he exists and have created the universe). So if "he" would have a life review with you, it would at the same time take no time at all and go on for a eternity. So "he" could have a life review not only with every human that have ever lived, he could have one with every life form that has ever lived, in the entirety of the universe, all through time, from it's creation until it's end, without it taking "him" any "real" time at all, at the same "time".
@skcusrmsaottehgman9912
3 жыл бұрын
@@marcushillerstrom25 Exactly. What he said!
@alistairwatt8767
3 жыл бұрын
@@marcushillerstrom25 it makes no sense to say that something could exist ''outside of space'' because the word ''outside'' is itself a description of somethings position in space.
@marcushillerstrom25
3 жыл бұрын
@@alistairwatt8767 No not outside as in outside of something else, outside as in "not effected by". God is said in the Bible to have created space, because before there was nothing. No space, no time, no matter, hence is he "outside" of space.
@lightningmonky7674
Жыл бұрын
What did Bill Burr do in 1986? 😳
@ПроститееслиобиделЯсваминесогл
2 жыл бұрын
So you can say anything about God and it will be true.
@insertnamehere2746
3 жыл бұрын
Bill Burr vs himself? Intriguing...
@walkthedon
3 жыл бұрын
Vince Farragamo wore #15. Rams
@austinisfullpleasedontmove653
3 жыл бұрын
Fucking Dempsey missing half foot and half and arm I believe. Saints right!?
@NikkiConfection
3 жыл бұрын
He was done talking about god within the first 2 minutes.
@mattgarwood9983
3 жыл бұрын
Qqqqqqqq
@2l84me8
Жыл бұрын
What's the point of a god reviewing with you to begin with anyway? Shouldn't he already know how this all plays out and not be taken by surprise at all? Why reward or punish someone forever for something they temporarily did?
@AbdulHannanAbdulMatheen
2 жыл бұрын
👏😁
@strikerfrost7222
3 жыл бұрын
Which episodes was this?
@BillyTwinkleToes
3 жыл бұрын
Last Monday’s (24th) podcast 👍 Thanks for watching!
@MrAce607
3 жыл бұрын
I think the worst part is is Bill wearing crocks lol
@Anthony-uf3oz
3 жыл бұрын
Crocs
@brendanmoriarty8950
2 жыл бұрын
When will Twinkle Toes Helicopter pilot take a Giant Nose dive. How Dopey Bill is and can actually find such awesome piece of Machinery - Too Funny.. I never worry about global warming
@SpeakerKevin
3 жыл бұрын
You're not going to hell Bill, God sent someone else to take your place.
@Hals
3 жыл бұрын
Big loss :( I don't believe any of this God shit but i hope he's cracking jokes with Patrice somehow some way.
@danielvigil9104
3 жыл бұрын
To bad bill doesn't realize hell is the line to get into hell and that line just loops around
@tsb7911
3 жыл бұрын
I'll bet on Bill.
@volhusky
3 жыл бұрын
You'll lose
@tsb7911
3 жыл бұрын
@@volhusky Bill is a lot funnier than God and he makes more money.
@brendanmoriarty8950
2 жыл бұрын
Best one liner there's really No Heaven for men because there's Women there... Bunny Rabbits get in TSA Fast line to Heaven.
@DivineBanana
2 ай бұрын
I know its all b.s. but isn't it saint peter that talks to you at the pearly gates, not God?
@Lexington101
2 жыл бұрын
11:18 Why do you bother telling people how to fix something nobody wanted in the first place.
@b1akn3ss93
3 жыл бұрын
That's st Peter's job lol...
@richardmitchell2774
3 жыл бұрын
He’s just gonna let the women in and not waste time listening to their whining and crying! 😂😂😂😂😂⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️
@antoniocruz1163
3 жыл бұрын
Well........we do have computers now. I'm pretty sure GOD has access to an Apple laptop. Should be able to go through your file in a jiffy.
@sonjaleesloth
2 жыл бұрын
Drinking in the woods! 🖐🏻 In my day, when cops caught us in the woods or in a cemetery, they'd take our booze and tell us to evaporate. Now they beat the sh*t out of you before they lock you up for doing silly things like that. 🙄
@misterpoopnose6547
3 жыл бұрын
I don’t think meteorologists sit 10:00
@2spotmooses
3 жыл бұрын
Threw I meant
@bryanmitchell5728
3 жыл бұрын
We are the virus.😂😂
@BillyTwinkleToes
3 жыл бұрын
Agent Smith: “Human beings are a disease…”
@CartoonistDave
3 жыл бұрын
Bill is using his concept of space time and what man knows or thinks to be true to decipher the mind of the Most High.
@PlayNiceFolks
3 жыл бұрын
God doesn't love you. Not in the way humans definite "love". God looks upon humans as an experiment. That's it.
@nthgth
3 жыл бұрын
What else can he use? He _is_ a man
@CartoonistDave
3 жыл бұрын
@@nthgth God is Spirit, so, man must be baptized in The Spirit in order to know Him.
@nthgth
3 жыл бұрын
@@CartoonistDave uh... okay?
@sanniflexeer6260
3 жыл бұрын
Haha, what a therapy session you got going there Billy. Out of beer?
@bloatedsodium7301
3 жыл бұрын
Is it possible that GOD just means the Great Old Debate?
@nthgth
3 жыл бұрын
No, it's not an acronym
@bloatedsodium7301
3 жыл бұрын
@@nthgth is it possible that all religious people are atheists?
@nthgth
3 жыл бұрын
@@bloatedsodium7301 not if you go by what those words mean
@bloatedsodium7301
3 жыл бұрын
@@nthgth how many Gods do you worship?
@2spotmooses
3 жыл бұрын
And Billy... the Bucs won a cheap game with Antonio Browns clear push off. Gonna be a long season for TB12😊
@marchebert9813
2 жыл бұрын
Ok Billy, you take on God you gonna LOSE!!
@myfuntimescaryplaylist1112
2 жыл бұрын
I'm not sure who this guy is, but I know what you mean
@leew6091
3 жыл бұрын
Why does God have a child's hand? Or is it not his hand? 🤔
@josephvanwyk2088
3 жыл бұрын
[What we know] vs [What God knows] - is not on the same wave length. This very dialogue Bill is having with himself, is normal human nature and it's defiance with God. We are created, time is created, We'll never understand a realm in which time is not a thing. God will happily do the "paperwork" that Bill is making fun off ------- because there is an exact purpose for that "life-movie" if you are so *lucky* to see it. Those who have not accept Christ, will not get to have that privilege.
@s.muller8688
3 жыл бұрын
there's no end to the gullibility of you morons!
@PlayNiceFolks
3 жыл бұрын
I came to the comments specifically to find someone like you. You did not disappoint. Do more, please!
@josephvanwyk2088
3 жыл бұрын
@@PlayNiceFolks Glad you could lend an ear. Happy to shed some awareness to the godless.
@josephvanwyk2088
3 жыл бұрын
@Suomi Valid reason? You mean, one Person sacrificing Himself for all of us and won death to secure a place for us after this life. Yeah bud... zero proof. You condemn only yourself to eternal death (which I really hope you come to understand and realise before it's too late).
@josephvanwyk2088
3 жыл бұрын
@Suomi once again, you condemn only yourself to everlasting death. I have zero to loose. You have everything to loose. Must be annoying to know there are people like myself, with the knowledge of what happens after death. My proof is the MANY MANY eyewitness accounts that witnessed Christ return from the dead (but not good enough for you hey?) Shame...
@minkeyshines7948
3 жыл бұрын
IDGAF carries over here as well
@Vera-xu3xw
2 жыл бұрын
Global Warming? I thought it was Climate Change? Canada would love Global Warming
@UltraViolent21
3 жыл бұрын
God is beyond human comprehension. Mere mortals will never mentally be able the ultimate being. It’s supposed to be that way.
@petermeichan3160
3 жыл бұрын
how conveinent, what a great way to cover up a LIE
@PlayNiceFolks
3 жыл бұрын
Then people need to stop imposing so many human traits to God. Maybe God does care about humans, but only in the way that a scientist cares about some bacteria in a petri dish.
@petermeichan3160
3 жыл бұрын
@@PlayNiceFolks or maybe ( more likely ) it's all made up !
@die4race
3 жыл бұрын
that definition exists only in your mind , grow up
@jr8260
2 жыл бұрын
You need to give me all your money and become my slave. You had best act quick because I fucking love you soooooo much that if you don't say it back I'll burn you forever. The choice is yours.
@withoutlimits16
3 жыл бұрын
I feel like Bill has ADHD
@jonbrown-ng2hx
3 жыл бұрын
He's not even talking about God half the time lol
@lightningwolf5157
3 жыл бұрын
😂
@anormalguy511
3 жыл бұрын
I never understood Jesus turning water into whine Like why whine? Why only whine? And why only water? Why not something else What a stupid power I swear
@nthgth
3 жыл бұрын
Maybe there were others but that's just the one they wrote down. Maybe at home he turned it into whiskey and at New Year's he turned it into vodka. Maybe he figured out how to turn mud into White Russians, but they didn't have a word for that so they didn't write that down.
@jr8260
2 жыл бұрын
Jesus refusal to turn it into beer is enough evidence to reject Christianity
@BeeBumper
3 жыл бұрын
How is a rabbit foot lucky? Didn't seem too lucky for the rabbit. Omg bill swallow for Christ sake
@monkfoobar
3 жыл бұрын
Nope. He sent Jesus. The law never saved anyone.
@RobCardIV
3 жыл бұрын
if you had the ability. its not paperwork. youre no norm. not even. unsubd.
@RobCardIV
3 жыл бұрын
i had to press backspace to return here and unsubb.
@dfgg8894
3 жыл бұрын
Jesus Christ. He needs to talk to Jordan Peterson man. Lol. I feel like they could do a year and a half of material together.
@dfgg8894
3 жыл бұрын
@Tyler Holt go clean your room!
@die4race
3 жыл бұрын
Jordan peterson has definitely some fucking issues , way to emotional and unstable , wasn't he addicted to some fucking opioid ? anyway , he's the type of person who can't live without some kind of religion , he can't fathom the concept of the void of existence , it scares him and he projects his fear on society
@ballzzd33p29
3 жыл бұрын
Start looking at God like a coder... grass, a basic texture filler.... our use of technology... kinda makes more sence.. idk. #Physics
@Watcher4111
3 жыл бұрын
If he is like coder he clearly fucked UP his program
@alpussycatthesubstantialch4049
2 жыл бұрын
That's great, God, the glorified doorman. So I guess say Peter just as David Spade's old bit job from SNL "and you are...?"
@sojournerkarunatruth4406
3 жыл бұрын
God has an assistant, named Saint Peter, but OK 🙈🙉🙊 I'm not a Christ follower (I don't identify deeply as theistic or atheistic) but I've read the Bible.
@williamgullett5911
3 жыл бұрын
Do me a favor and reread the Gospels. Matthew,Mark,Luke, John
@isk3397
3 жыл бұрын
Man, that job has to suck. Customer service in heavens got to be the worst gig ever. Take the most BS religious claims ever, throw in some misunderstanding due to lack of any clarity and conflicting stories, then drop a single dude into the mix who's job it is to sort it. The hell that dude do to god to piss him off?
@nthgth
3 жыл бұрын
@@isk3397 maybe that was Satan's job before he jumped ship
@isk3397
3 жыл бұрын
@@nthgth Ha... well, that just makes him the hero of the story while god's that shit boss everyone dreads.
@bengermain8310
2 жыл бұрын
That thumbnail 😂😂
@Arminius420
3 жыл бұрын
The whole theological story is so bonkers. LOL
@paulclarke4776
3 жыл бұрын
Right there, you know your getting them anyway!! 😂😂😂👌
@billymcmurtry5055
2 жыл бұрын
GOD is real and merciful . REPENT.
@AjaniReign
2 жыл бұрын
Amen ❤️
@nikokaapa
3 жыл бұрын
Bill is asking the wrong question: Why would god give us free will, if some of us are going to live wrong anyway? I mean the dude is all-knowing, so he knew he created some of us to go to hell. Then why have the end-of-life conversation? Because who's fault is it that I was created this way? Take a guess…
@ranbymonkeys2384
3 жыл бұрын
What was the average temperature in the year of 1776????? EXACTLY? We have no idea!!!!!!
@mikea3118
3 жыл бұрын
I definitely believe there are higher powers. However, his word for humans is perfect, "arrogant". To think we can understand higher powers is insane to me. Not to mention the people that we are made in "his" image. I see no evidence that we are somehow supreme beings. We have the biggest prefrontal cortex on this planet, that's it.
@sassuskrassus3166
2 ай бұрын
3:50 jesus.. im dying XD
@V4Now
3 жыл бұрын
Burr talking about Rabits almost sounding like a Buch Bugs Bunny.
@MrWitty1998
Жыл бұрын
I took two hits of a blunt and it went from a dead bunny talking to god to season pass football tickets 😂
@blakecorea1512
Жыл бұрын
This man is wild lol
@briank624
2 жыл бұрын
Lol. How many people know the CEO of Walmart. Yet, you want me to believe....you know the CEO and chairman of the multiverse?
@billsmith5166
3 жыл бұрын
Dempsey? His foot was a damned 3 wood. It would be like having a running back with one arm that's a spear.
@Ludak021
2 жыл бұрын
Rabbits? Sure, but have you seen Zebras? Just standing there waiting to be eaten after they get tortured to death. You can't even miss them, they are marked by black and white stripes pretty much spelling "target" all over them....Rabbits...at least rabbits have some chance to stay alive, longer.
@drewgavin5462
2 ай бұрын
bill burr one day will meet his maker .... i hope he wont mock Him that day..
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