Today I spoke with Dorothy Husen, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and the author of "Breaking the Chains of Transgenerational Trauma." Dorothy grew up in an Evangelical church and believed in Jesus most of her life, but deconverted in adulthood as she dug deeply into the toxic messages and traumatic implications of the Christian worldview.
We discussed many topics, including:
• How a sexual assault during her childhood affected her view of god and of sexuality.
• Seeing her family convert to Christianity through Calvary Chapel.
• The effect of childhood sexual assault on her as a teenager, where she would feel like there was a part of her that was bad and lustful.
• The confusing message of not focusing on external beauty, and yet being surrounded by married women in church who were focused very heavily on external beauty.
• Being in a state of chronic stress, wondering what Yahweh's will was.
• The conundrum of fearing Yahweh and yet wanting to think of him as a loving heavenly father figure, where it is both "a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living god" and yet "perfect love casts out fear."
• How the contradictory messages about Yahweh's nature forces people to cherry pick which verses they wanted to focus on.
• Experiencing help from the church with family issues to be basically useless.
• The pressure on Christian parents to have good, Christian kids who are making the parents proud and demonstrating that the parents did a good job instilling Christian beliefs and character into their children.
• How Christianity leads people to punish themselves if they are not thriving in life.
• The reality that the Gospel is powerless to change lives.
• The fact that Christians of any kind are unequipped for counseling and psychology, and are going to cause more harm, as they push their mythological worldviews on counselees.
• Realizing that there are natural explanations for experiences that appear to be spiritual in nature.
• How Christianity creates a mental "circuit breaker" of cognitive dissonance that cuts people off from deep thinking and investigation and pushes them instead to trust in the Yahweh character and believe that he will make everything right someday.
• How Christianity creates a group delusion and a "hive" mentality.
• How Christianity leads adults to traumatize their kids on purpose.
• The importance of changing parenting habits caused by religious trauma, in order to give the next generation a better chance at being better people and better parents themselves.
• Seeing deconversion create a true context for self-love, self-confidence, and inner security to flourish.
• How nihilism frees us to create our own purpose and meaning in life.
• The freedom from sexual shame that happens when people leave religious worldviews.
• Realizing that so many of the aspects of Christianity that seemed positive were actually always liabilities as they kept us in self-deception.
• The importance of teaching parents how to meet their children's emotional needs and how to apply those principles to themselves, especially in the larger context of breaking transgenerational trauma.
Many thanks to Dorothy for sharing her story and insights!
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Connect with Dorothy:
www.dorothyhusen.com
Buy her book:
"Breaking the Chains of Transgenerational Trauma: My Journey from Surviving to Thriving"
www.amazon.com...
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Ending music by Eyal Raz, "Friends"
• Friends
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