Have you ever just wondered how to be more confident in general? I have, and it’s taken me a good 28 years to get my head around it.
As you’ve probably noticed by the title of this video, Today I’m collaborating with some of the best and most inspirational guys I know on the internet who all have great points of view on what it means to be confident as a man.
If you’d like to learn more about the superstars who helped me put this video together, you can find all of their socials linked below:
Intro - 00:00
Thomas In Action - 01:41
@TravWhiteStyle - 04:42
KZitem: / travwhitestyle
Instagram: / trav_white_
Previous Collaboration I Did with Trav: • How To Handle Long Hai...
@TommyGtv - 07:49
Instagram: / tommygentleman
Tommy’s TED Talk on Legacy: • Legacy....The Clock is...
Tommy’s Website: www.tommygentleman.com/
The collaboration we did on Tommy’s podcast: podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast...
Owen Janes - 11:15
Instagram: / owen_janes
TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZSJpj1WGA/
@alexorlandocross - 13:41
KZitem: / alexorlandocross
Instagram: / alexorlandocross
Website: alexorlando.coach
If you’d like to come join the Man Buns & Manes Facebook group, you can do that click clicking here & following the prompts: manbunsandmanes.com/
The Wrap Up - 16:50
When I was younger I used to always get really frustrated with how much my confidence used to fluctuate from high to low and I used to think to myself
“What am I missing here? Why do I feel confident sometimes and not others and when am I just going to be confident all the time!?”
And as I’ve gotten older, it’s become more & more apparent that I’m not actually missing anything and that fluctuating confidence levels are actually far more normal & common than I realised.
All you have to do is listen to a successful person’s story and you can see that they too have had high and low moments & still do to this day. The only difference is the way they view & respond to the situations that come their way.
But the bottom line is, they still sh1t their pants every now and then. You just don’t see it because not everybody wants to willingly announce that they are sh1tting their pants. And understandably so because showing fear to others can also be seen as weakness and not sure about you, but I don’t think I know anyone who actually WANTS to be seen as weak...
However, on the flip side never showing weakness, a new problem emerges which comes in the form of an illusion that we are always doing well and on top of our sh1t which just isn’t how human beings operate.
We go up and down, round and round all the time and in my experience doubt or lack of confidence cannot be cured, it can only be managed. Personally, the best method on how to build self confidence when I’m low on it, is learning.
If I know 1 thing about myself, it's that the less familiar or comfortable I am with the person, object or scenario that is playing out in front of me, the less confident I feel about having a positive experience with it.
And the only way I’ve ever overcome that feeling is by spending more time bridging the gap from unfamiliar to familiar through learning & knowing more about the thing that is causing me to feel unconfident.
Obviously there is only so much a person can actually know, which is why doubt will never actually leave us but by learning as much as I can, I can quit worrying about the unknown and get back to the clear and composed state that helps me get sh1t done.
Getting sh1t done also creates experience which directly translates into confidence anyway so you may as well get out there and have a crack. If you don’t win in the short term you’ll definitely win in the long term.
So at the end of the day when it comes to how to gain self confidence, I believe it’s just a game that you have to consciously get better at playing and don’t be too hard on yourself if it takes you longer than some else. Comparison really is the thief of joy and all you need to know is that if you’re reading this, you’re capable of learning more and as long as you keep learning things will only get better and better for you!
Thank you so much for coming to watch and I’ll see you next time!
Yours in good hair,
Thomas In Action.
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