I'm new here I'm thinking about adopted kids one day
@KatTheo431
10 ай бұрын
Former foster youth, multiple placements. Building trust is more than just keeping promises. I still have trust issues because of the trauma I experienced in foster care. I had so many control freak foster parents who had their schedules (8 pm bedtimes when I was 15) and really were obsessed with asserting their will over kids and what they thought was the way kids should be raised. I liked anime and manga and had several homes that banned me from reading/watching it and would lecture me on why that was the right thing to do and wanted me to thank them for it. This is one of the big issues IMO with foster care - you can be placed with kids who have very different believes, interest, hobbies and culture that clashes significantly - especially with many conservative, religious foster parents. It really didn't matter if foster parents kept their promises if at the same time they were telling me how wrong it was for me to watch Avatar the Last Airbender since it discussed reincarnation and instead wanting me to do Bible Study. I also saw kids who really like rap music which did include vulgar language having that music banned by foster parents. Too many foster parents say "my house, my rules" and that can likely could even worse with adoptive parents. I've seen other foster siblings implode after foster parents took away everything because their music, their games, their interests were all deemed "wrong" and impropriate. And you wonder why they have behavior problems. The trust issues I got from foster care was all due to foster parents' beliefs being seen as far more important than mine and their absolute determination to try to assert those believes on the foster kids they were caring for.
@adoptinformed
10 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing that perspective! I definitely see how it would be hard to trust someone if you don’t feel they are accepting you or allowing you to pursue your own interests. I also see how it can be really hard if you are placed in a conservative Christian family and you don’t share those beliefs. My husband and I are Christians, but we believe following Christ is a personal choice our kids would have to make for themselves. For now, they all come to church with us because of their ages, but down the road it will be their choice. It is a hard line to walk as a parent and something I’m sure I’ll make mistakes with too! (Also, I love Avatar the last airbender! My sister and I used to watch it a lot) ❤️
@patientlywaiting9030
Жыл бұрын
Best City?? Tough one. I’d have to say Pigeon Forge because of the family-friendly atmosphere there.
@adoptinformed
Жыл бұрын
I’ve been there several times! I would love to take the kids sometime.
@ChloeStalder
Жыл бұрын
this is what i was gonna say! i haven’t been out much, but we went to TN for our honeymoon!
@potato_muderer
Жыл бұрын
Weirdly enough, Oklahoma City was amazing to me. Probably cause I've always lives in small towns lol
@mountainchipmunk8530
Жыл бұрын
Your videos have been a Godsend! Thank you for taking the time to share. Best city to visit in the US? I'm a nature gal so I prefer small mountain towns. My favorite town is Silverton, CO
@visi7891
Жыл бұрын
These tips & tricks from your experience is so helpful as a first time mom! I would never have figured out that reducing toys could help. Youre a time saver
@adoptinformed
Жыл бұрын
It has made a huge difference for us! And it’s an ongoing process for sure :)
@DiegoAngarita85
2 жыл бұрын
Love the first tip of decluttering and keeping the home clean
@aprilgarcia8590
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Katie, I am a new foster parent. Social services told me that there is a 3 month ‘Honeymoon’ period and it is typically after that time that bad behaviors become more apparent. Has that been your experience? Thank you so much for your content. Your experience and advice has been incredibly helpful and encouraging!
@adoptinformed
2 жыл бұрын
Yes! There is definitely a honeymoon period but the length depends on the child. With our son we had basically no honeymoon period, but with our oldest daughter it lasted a month or more. 3 months sounds long to me 😅 a lot of times this is when the kid is not positive you are safe and trustworthy so they are going to be on their best behavior and possibly seeking to flatter you as a survival mechanism. I shared a bit about our experience in my adoption update videos if you want to check those out!
@rachaelmasters5623
2 жыл бұрын
I would say, the honeymoon period definite varies by kids, but I think age is a huge factor. My daughter was 18 months and son was 3 and half when they moved in. The honeymoon period was probably less than a week lol. The adjusting period was about three months for all of us to feel "normal".
@curious_invisibility7426
2 жыл бұрын
I don’t have a favorite city. But I’m from Ut. Love your videos.
@adoptinformed
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks! 😊
@mimmyrose2970
2 жыл бұрын
St. Gallen, Switzerland, lol
@deannebundy-weishaupt9070
2 жыл бұрын
My father in law was from St. Gallen
@adoptinformed
2 жыл бұрын
Switzerland is definitely one of the top places on my list to visit! :)
@JollyHolidaywithMary
2 жыл бұрын
Lol I like your question at the end. I’d say probably San Francisco!
@shibolinemress8913
Жыл бұрын
I made it to the end! 😉😊 To answer your question, first a little background clarification: I was born in Florida in 1963, and shortly after, my family and I moved to Europe for 5 years, returning in 1967. I lived mostly in the U.S. from 1967 to 1985, when I moved to Germany, where I still live today. Now to answer: My favourite of the U.S. cities was West Caldwell, New Jersey, just because the years we lived there (1967-1972) were the happiest of my childhood. My second favourite city is Phoenix, Arizona. My dad and brother lived there for many years, and I loved visiting them every chance I got. I love the climate and landscapes! If I ever move back to the U.S., that's where I'd like to live. Thanks for another great video!
@mytreasuredcreations
Жыл бұрын
Orange Beach, Alabama is the best city. It's in the Gulf Coast, white sand and blue waters.
@ashleyschrader7193
Жыл бұрын
Did you have an example of the consequences that you use?
@adoptinformed
Жыл бұрын
We do early bedtime a lot! It’s kind of a logical consequence in our minds because usually when our kids are getting angry, lashing out, a little extra sleep can do wonders for them the next day. We have done both time-ins and time-outs. Sometimes we have them do an extra chore with us. Or if they hurt a sibling in some way, they may have to take that sibling’s chore for a day or two. My husband is good at coming up with ideas that really fit the situation and turn it into a learning experience.
@caesiusgeo
Жыл бұрын
@@adoptinformedI would love a video with LOTS of bad behavior and consequence examples, especially by development level
@jamiecollins5012
Жыл бұрын
Where can I get the schedule?
@Solasdeas
7 ай бұрын
Yes, they look great🎉 thanks for the video
@sobeliever1638
2 жыл бұрын
Victoria, British Columbia in Canada
@jaimeann9505
Жыл бұрын
Our 11 year old niece moved in with us a little over four months ago. She undoubtedly carries her fair share of anxiety and trauma from her homelife. When things go her way, she may be so well-behaved, but the moment they don't, WHAM, she becomes a whole different person. She contradicts us, talks back, and throws tantrums like an infant. She starts treatment in a month to address her trauma and PTSD. Nobody informs you of the challenges foster and adoption parents experience. It really opens your eyes. It's so much work and right now I am feeling like it's a thankless job. It isn't always sunshine and rainbows. I wish we had more help with what we are dealing with, I am so glad your channel showed up in my recommendations.
@adoptinformed
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for being here! That first year is always so tough in general, but that sounds like a really stressful situation. Praying for your family today ❤
@Kris-bl4ip
Жыл бұрын
Anywhere with the mountains honestly
@samanthadavis5139
2 жыл бұрын
Great tips. Thank you.
@cjsage115
2 жыл бұрын
Charlottesville, Virginia
@roserice2735
2 жыл бұрын
Frankfurt, Michigan
@daisyninja3674
7 ай бұрын
This may help some people on the first point. I have a child with adhd and I have adhd symptoms (never been officially diagnosed). I had someone recommend having a “clutter box” (with a clear lid so you don’t forget about it) in each room that you can put all the clutter in before you sort it.That way when you’re de-cluttering a room you can confine the clutter to one space and it will make it feel more manageable and less overwhelming. You can also step away from it if you need to.
@adoptinformed
7 ай бұрын
Love that tip!!
@KariC_
2 жыл бұрын
Seattle, WA!
@kickdropacoin
2 жыл бұрын
Montreal, Canada!
@seatrisa2977
Жыл бұрын
Billings, Montana
@cecillialoco8897
Жыл бұрын
I loved Boston when I visited. It is a city I would love to live in but will probably never be able to afford.
@adoptinformed
Жыл бұрын
I’ve heard it’s very expensive to live there!
@meheretnardos1894
11 ай бұрын
Thank you
@leiz.6103
2 жыл бұрын
Tampa FL maybe
@evelyngreenway1601
Жыл бұрын
New York
@snuggisthecute
2 жыл бұрын
Don't have a favorite city in the U.S. yet. What's yours?
@adoptinformed
2 жыл бұрын
I really like Asheville, North Carolina!
@WLewis1987
2 жыл бұрын
Genius
@wyldrayne5501
2 жыл бұрын
Duluth, Minnesota
@ILovecats564
Жыл бұрын
Flórida
@CJ-gp9cn
2 жыл бұрын
Brisbane, Australia 🇦🇺
@adoptinformed
2 жыл бұрын
Awesome! Thanks for watching! 😀
@brandibyers9195
Жыл бұрын
❤
@ezrapapincak4428
Жыл бұрын
Lake Tahoe, California
@adoptinformed
Жыл бұрын
I would love to go there someday!
@rachaelmasters5623
2 жыл бұрын
So far, Zion, Utah or Gatlinburg, Tennessee are my favorite places! Thank you for the content! BTW, your eyes are so pretty!
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