I’m not afraid of marriage, I’m afraid of divorce.
@rhuarcaran3427
12 күн бұрын
Yeah, my father was married and divorced 5 times, said about 75 percent of the money he ever made in his life went to ex wives. I know it is not even worth trying to marry at this point, I've seen too much dysfunction to have a good marriage.
@claudiagalvez6824
Ай бұрын
In a relationship, you're in a service industry. How true & people need to remember that
@crystalfrancis3211
Ай бұрын
There are some good kernels of truth there.
@MartyMar-yk1ik
23 күн бұрын
Facts
@P1983sche
20 күн бұрын
I wouldn’t wish divorce on my worst enemy…it was the worst…I loved her, she left me.
@ataraxia7439
13 күн бұрын
I’m so sorry
@beastvader
12 күн бұрын
Don't worry, you'll find someone even better. Just keep your chin up, live your life and you'll find your true soulmate!
@dr.winstonsmith
11 күн бұрын
You’ll find someone better. Go to a non-Western country for better quality women.
@mr.wildcat405
9 күн бұрын
Same here, buddy. It was just our turn.
@RobFomenko
9 күн бұрын
I thought I loved her. But how can you love somebody that would stab you in the back like that? It took me 4 years to get over it. But now I'm in Thailand with a loving relationship. My new girlfriend is feminine is mostly agreeable LOL has a nice body. Is 23 years younger than me and loves me. I would not go back even if she offered me all my stuff back which is impossible. And the funny thing is is she divorced me because she said she wasn't happy and from the last time I saw her she still wasn't happy. She thought she was going to be able to scoop up a really good guy pretty quick and she's still single as far as I know. I'm pretty happy now and glad that the divorce happened. Yeah it cost me a lot of money but I would have been an unhappy relationship until I died. I prefer it this way.
@shigshug8581
Ай бұрын
Humping and going out is pretty much the foundation of a healthy relationship.
@miggy9260
Ай бұрын
Date night one a month a must. Oh yeah, and don’t get married. Ever.
@samueljang1902
Ай бұрын
@@miggy9260survival of the fittest. your genes couldn't survive the current environment
@williamwoolf8072
Ай бұрын
I wonder why so many people stop having sex after marriGe
@KNR6292
26 күн бұрын
I know!! And the majority quit having sex & going on dates. Its like a misery slog! No way
@midnight816
20 күн бұрын
@@williamwoolf8072 because the wife stops wanting to have sex
@angelsunlight
22 күн бұрын
I don’t know what Oates does, but Hall never had a hit without him
@nikokaapa
12 күн бұрын
It’s not even true. I wish he had said it the other way around.
@dr.winstonsmith
11 күн бұрын
@@nikokaapabut everyone knows what Hall does.
@nikokaapa
11 күн бұрын
@@dr.winstonsmith fair enough :D
@TheLegend-uq1gz
Ай бұрын
Marriage is great if both are INTENTIONAL in making it work by constantly finding ways to make it better. Anything short of that, the marriage will not work.
@gigilaroux762
27 күн бұрын
I like his old joke where he says even people with only 20k dollars need a prenup because if she gets half you only have 10k left.
@psplayer1344
19 күн бұрын
That just sounds like math
@waxseawan
19 күн бұрын
@@psplayer1344 Yes it does, if you are MISSING THE JOKE.
@gigilaroux762
18 күн бұрын
@@psplayer1344 …the idea is that prenups are for rich people with a lot of big assets to divvy up in a divorce as if poor people won’t need them…
@manuginobilisbaldspot2
15 күн бұрын
@@psplayer1344 the crux of the joke was that rich people could afford divorce…if you have $30 million and she gets half, you ain’t starvin! But you only have $30,000…
@jsizemo
10 күн бұрын
Correct, but take the k’s off those numbers
@bjkarana
15 күн бұрын
Been married 15 years now and the bit about tambourine is so true. The hard part is if another band offers you lead singer, but beware the bait and switch, because you eventually end up on tambourine again.
@corvustiberius3591
Ай бұрын
Wish I heard this set 3 months ago.
@haute03
21 күн бұрын
I'm listening...👀
@liamneedsome9837
16 күн бұрын
1 year ago for me😂😂😢😢
@TheRigomoni
Ай бұрын
dude gave advice because he realized and had the balls to admit he built a foundation then destroyed it on his own some people use the victim card and blindly think theyre not at fault from the problem they became part of but not my man chris rock hes too mature for that
@FistandFootMartialArts
Ай бұрын
Visualize punctuation.
@basicprogrammer6147
17 күн бұрын
@@FistandFootMartialArts His post is almost better without it. It's stream of consiousness. And what every man is thinking. I blew it.
@FistandFootMartialArts
16 күн бұрын
@@basicprogrammer6147 If you say so. I'm not gonna bother trying to decipher it. Lol Good luck. Peace
@geraldframinghammer2626
15 күн бұрын
"Sometimes you sing lead, and sometimes you're on tambourine. " I'd like to add also that sometimes you gotta play songs you don't necessarily like. And it's hard as a lead singer to sing songs that might not represent you, but the band as a whole.
@TonyCanones
Ай бұрын
Once again, Chris Rock displays his masterful use of comedy to share some profound truths.
@chezsantamaria1034
Ай бұрын
He said his life was crazy. Little did he know it was about to get a whole lot crazier with a "slap heard around the world". Happy for his followed success though. Rock is a King!
@lekis5975
28 күн бұрын
He deserved that slap, he's always rude about Black women Jada, Winnie Mandela, Michelle Obama. He never speaks about the strength of the Black woman, but he's always quick to bash.
@jimmyjones2896
Ай бұрын
Why is divorce so expensive?... Becasue its WORTH it.
@elijaprice
Ай бұрын
He's right: just don't get married.
@rashidah8621
21 күн бұрын
That's not GODLY, ts not how GOD designed it to be
@jlindsa
17 күн бұрын
@@rashidah8621 The design is flawed.
@Observer100-cn7gv
17 күн бұрын
@jlindsa, nothing about God is flawed.
@alluringbliss4165
16 күн бұрын
@@rashidah8621can be celibate
@kubasniak
15 күн бұрын
@@rashidah8621 i dont care about gods
@selinakyle2368
25 күн бұрын
A mad tambourine player: Liam Gallagher
@savvyguy1353
24 күн бұрын
Factual
@user-td4zp4gq2p
Ай бұрын
" 2 people can move a couch reeal easy!"
@ayokay123
Ай бұрын
Still got it....after all these years.
@loodog555
16 күн бұрын
He's slowed down a bit, had to watch him at 1.25X.
@J4sse
28 күн бұрын
Don't get married, too risky.
@leagueofotters2774
14 күн бұрын
especially for a man...
@dirtydish6642
10 күн бұрын
A lonesome life and death is far from risk, its your certainty. Enjoy.
@robertjamesonmusic
5 күн бұрын
That’s pathetic
@bb.buchanan
2 күн бұрын
@@robertjamesonmusic Getting keel-hauled through divorce court and having to start over in your 30s/40s/50s is pathetic, avoiding the issue altogether is just smart.
@karenmuldrow5975
Ай бұрын
So true Chris Rock! So true!
@dorisspears5921
Ай бұрын
At last! The unvarnished truth about the faces of sex in relationship.❤
@maureencora1
Ай бұрын
Like the Johnny Taylor Song "It's Cheaper to Keep Her".
@TheRigomoni
Ай бұрын
lol
@daviddavidson4496
Ай бұрын
Like my old boss used to say " marriage is grand, divorce is 100 grand"
@maureencora1
Ай бұрын
@@daviddavidson4496 Touche' (smile)
@donaldwestley3735
Ай бұрын
Gotta pay to get away
@bisonjones2594
Ай бұрын
Even cheaper not to marry.
@VegasTigger
Ай бұрын
MEN: Stay single, no kids, see the world, be happy.
@samueljang1902
Ай бұрын
survival of the fittest. basically your genes couldn't survive this environment
@daramorgan8524
28 күн бұрын
Women too.
@VegasTigger
28 күн бұрын
@@daramorgan8524 TOTALLY agree!
@3x3mm
23 күн бұрын
Ok separate houses help each other when you can.
@jackiemoon1556
23 күн бұрын
Kids are great, just gotta find the right partner, that old school no sex before marriage advice was out there for a reason...
@maskedmarvyl4774
Ай бұрын
I know he's doing a comedy routine, but the worst mistake you can make is not getting a divorce when one of you is unhappy in the marriage. It's worse than being dead, and you'll never get that time back again. No consequences that you suffer from getting a divorce will match what you will lose by continuing to stay in an unhappy marriage.
@Jenda-ld8dj
Ай бұрын
Grass is not always greener.
@abc-bu7nr
Ай бұрын
@Jenda-ld8dj that's right However, but going through the motions is S/M
@Jenda-ld8dj
Ай бұрын
@@abc-bu7nr Maybe.
@JSwaVT_24
29 күн бұрын
Tell that to the kids
@jaredgarrison333
27 күн бұрын
Agreed
@FoardenotFord
12 күн бұрын
I needed to hear this - both the jokes and the sincere advice. Thanks Chris, you’re a legend.
@FolkOutThere
15 күн бұрын
This resonated more than any couples counseling session I went to with my soon-to-be. Wish he helped me move our metaphorical couch more, when he didn't feel like it or wasn't feeling the greatest. So I didn't have to do it alone, no matter what.
@coly4ever
Ай бұрын
Chris is my favorite 😂
@manbearpig637
Ай бұрын
Don’t get married
@Dfturcott
13 күн бұрын
Chris is some how the spiritual successor of both Carlin and Pryor.
@evelynbare1975
25 күн бұрын
Marriage is just like the rest of life, you only get out of it the effort YOU put into it. You gotta love that person more than yourself and if you don't love them that much, don't marry them. Mostly, you are not the prize you think that you are either. It's easy to complain about your spouse but being honest about yourself is hard. Don't believe your own hype, and remember that no one knows you better than your longtime spouse, but they love you despite you. ❤
@Tammy8823
15 күн бұрын
Yeah, no
@thereisnosanctuary6184
15 күн бұрын
If it's a job, don't want another.
@melaniebelk75
24 күн бұрын
Omg! Chris rock is getting better with age.
@rashidah8621
21 күн бұрын
That's how it shud b ........
@CA1567-v8p
18 күн бұрын
He's an idiot. He preaches about women then goes and gets married
@Trace7173
20 күн бұрын
And don't live together..Once you move in together, you just turned your lover into a family member!
@johngilmore697
18 күн бұрын
That's right, don't even talk to your lover, then you become friends. That's a slippery slope. Best to arrange hookups via emojis or, preferably, smoke signals whenever possible.
@tamtamz8733
Ай бұрын
Coming and Going 😂
@jzeppirc4715
Ай бұрын
Not getting married fixes all of it!!
@CruceEntertainment
27 күн бұрын
Amen to that. It used to be a good deal for men. But now it is the absolute worst financial move you could possibly ever make, period.
@zipperpillow
27 күн бұрын
Even if she gives you everything you want, never, ever, ever, ever get married, ever.
@Wakeup2CakeUpat8am
25 күн бұрын
Worst business deal for men in existence Marriage is designed to keep Men in debt
@lonniejolly5882
24 күн бұрын
Facts.
@mrdanger4035
23 күн бұрын
Facts 👌🏾
@michaelbonade4667
21 күн бұрын
I’ve absolutely forgotten that I’ve SEEN footage of people on stage slapping a tambourine on their ass with a ecstatic smile on their face 🤣🤣🤣
@DMDvideo10
Ай бұрын
Some people are just bad at picking a partner. Or they themselves are a bad partner.
@paulamitchell1653
Ай бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🌪️🤣🤣🤣🔥🔥🤣🤣🤣👌🏾👌🏾 Assignment Understood!🖤🖤🖤
@jrod986
Ай бұрын
Don't get married in the first place , simple 👍
@dennis13spartan
16 күн бұрын
Damn man, he gets it and not for just the guy or the girl but both of them. It doesn't matter how you feel or what kind of shitty day you had, at the end of it you are going back to the person you love so slap a smile on your face and treat them right, they don't have to suffer because Deborah in Accounts was a bitch. Cook for them, f*ck em, act normal and love them. Sounds like a good life.
@ColKurtzknew
14 күн бұрын
"We got breakup booths in the back."
@FistandFootMartialArts
Ай бұрын
Too right, Chris!
@jwalkinit
5 күн бұрын
You'll never really understand what legal marriage is until you try to get out of it.
@fturla___156
9 күн бұрын
Chris Rock just said it, he got divorced, because he was lousy at tambourine. He made the same mistake most people that make a lot of money do. He became arrogant and thought that if he paid for everything in his marriage that he could go out of bounds beyond what proper behavior dictates.
@markdwighttadina7655
22 күн бұрын
The Dislikes are from Will Smith and Jada
@rickmarcel1916
24 күн бұрын
Chris is a Giant 💽👍🏾
@jonathanaugustin647
14 күн бұрын
He was preaching!
@blackmorpheus4331
18 күн бұрын
😂🤣😅 Some of you have been in a relationship so long YOU DON'T KNOW HOW UGLY YOU ARE..👍👍👍 GREAT LINE 😂😂😅😆
@aquillabennett8223
22 күн бұрын
Lol oh my goodness Chris is hilarious 😆
@daviddavidson4496
Ай бұрын
Don't get married Prob solved
@bjkarana
15 күн бұрын
It's been tried, and for some, it works, but life gets awfully lonely after 30 for most people.
@bb.buchanan
2 күн бұрын
@@bjkarana Have relationships, sex and date all you want, cultivate hobbies, travel, make friends etc just don't get the government involved in your personal life
@bjkarana
Күн бұрын
@@bb.buchanan Good luck with that when kids arrive. Every generation thinks it has a marriage workaround, but they all learn ...eventually.
@April_99999
Ай бұрын
Wisdom!!!!!
@raquellennan1760
19 күн бұрын
Coming and going lol yessss I am using this.
@gravitationalconstant
Ай бұрын
Probably the most accurate video on KZitem
@jlindsa
17 күн бұрын
Marriage is one of the BIGGEST decisions someone can make because in many cases you are committing to someone for longer than you've been alive. In NO other aspect of our lives do we make such a commitment... not for car purchases, and not even for job offers. Honestly, it's a HUGE agreement and there is no contract or rules of engagement on how 2 "strangers" should hold together.
@ajohonly3721
22 күн бұрын
You should be coming and going 😂.
@user-rt9zq8rs9k
11 күн бұрын
Guess Chris Rock missed that bit of comedy in one of Eddie Murphy's stand up shows where Eddie yelled " HALF ! "
@xpat73
9 күн бұрын
What's crazy is that a man will get divorced.....and then get married again and again and again. Look, I understand getting married the first time and getting a divorce. But once you get taken to the cleaners once, you'd think people would learn.
@VernonRhem
Ай бұрын
I wish I would have e getting married now there is one there for me when I need it
@Hema1400
Ай бұрын
One person can chunk a couch out of a door about 20’ and then flip it again if he’s pissed enough
@Platizza
Ай бұрын
Listen to some experience 😂😂
@rbriggs89
16 күн бұрын
Don’t get married. It already starts off with an expensive party that’ll put you in debt.i don’t know why so many people fall for this shit.
@bb.buchanan
2 күн бұрын
I'm an Uber driver and their was a large socialite wedding in my city 3 or so months ago where the passenger was detailing the features and costs of the wedding (apparently north of $150k) and all I could think of was "How fervent and complete does the narcissism have to be on someone to spend that outrageous amount of money on a one day event" - you could just about retire in SEA or travel the world for YEARS with that kind of coin... "And they had Cartier cufflinks!"
@kevinfelton689
16 күн бұрын
The only thing worse than divorce is marriage
@marjorie4310
8 күн бұрын
I love Chris Rock the marriage counselor.
@warrenranstrom4462
19 күн бұрын
When she leaves you it’s upsetting and you feel like a failure. This lasts for a few months while you wonder what you did wrong and how you could have done things differently. The next phase is interest from other women which is exciting at first but then gives you a feeling that you are not worthy.. and they will figure out you are not that great. At this point depression gets worse and you feel like starting over again would be a very daunting task. Then you miss your wife and wonder how much better the next guy is. Next you stop caring what she’s doing and begin finding yourself again. Your confidence builds and are more willing to accept attention which before you thought you weren’t worthy of. The rest is up to you… you must make choices of what you now want. My advice would be this. Only get married if you are desperate for attachment. Freedom.. true freedom is staying single with options.
@craigkdillon
Ай бұрын
Do yourself a favor. If you are thinking of getting married, then talk to three (3) recently divorced men. Divorced in last 3 years. Talk to them. Learn what they went through. Then ask them one simple question --- "Was getting married worth it?" Do that before you propose to your woman.
@davidknightx
9 күн бұрын
Everything Chris Rock has said in his comedy would happen when it comes to relationships happened. To me and everyone I know... especially when he said "Men, when you lose your job, you'll lose your girl. It won't happen immediately, BUT THE CLOCK IS TICKING". I didn't listen. Thought I was exempt because we were together for 12 yrs. Then the Great Recession happened. I haven't touched a woman since.
@timsimmons9995
Ай бұрын
Hilarious and true!
@jaredgarrison333
27 күн бұрын
If your beyond unhappy and staying just to stay, that’s just a slow death and everyone around you sees it. It’s just time you’re losing that you never get back. In my opinion unless you’re staying together cause that’s the literal only way you can avoid living with your parents, time to go.
@nickf4333
11 күн бұрын
‘You can’t wait for the Holy Ghost to get you’ HAHAHA
@Mr._Johns_Productions
19 күн бұрын
The man eat it in a horrible mood 😂
@christinab9133
16 күн бұрын
❤❤❤
@lincolnadams83
Ай бұрын
Startling real.
@lashlarue7924
18 күн бұрын
Chris Rock is the GOAT.
@ghostofsilence2697
11 күн бұрын
Dont rush into marriage especially if you're young (my father made this mistake several times. Always rushed in, didnt think, all his marriages failed) And make sure your partner is someone you know beyond a shadow of a doubt you want to spend the rest of your life with.
@alienspawn1
14 күн бұрын
So true
@jlindsa
17 күн бұрын
The truth of the reality is, a lot of long term relationships struggle in the sex department because men have higher sex drives than women... on average. This is not discussed nearly enough but biologically men and women and not balanced in this regard. And women (on average) get less interested in sex as they get older and enter menopause. Relationships breaking over sex isn't anything to be surprised about.
@jamesTWisco
17 күн бұрын
I'm not all that smart, eloquent or even qualified - but I look the best I can. I am pretty jacked and I think you are right. I make good money and opportunities seem to come to me without tons of effort. Having a nice body and taking care of the neck up too is probably more valuable than a college degree.
@user-dp9nk1zm8n
5 күн бұрын
after my divorce, and moving into a new place, I found that I COULD move the sofa all by myself very easily
@wrdswpns1139
14 күн бұрын
You never wanna get slapped either.
@BodyByBenSLC
19 күн бұрын
I love that now women are making more money and they are starting to sound exactly like men.
@ronburgundy3172
19 күн бұрын
the irony you dont ever hear men calling women cheap
@thatguybehindtheglass
16 күн бұрын
"They are starting to sound exactly like their shittiest idea of men." There, I fixed it for you.
@IanFleming808
25 күн бұрын
I remember what I was doing on 9/11…….not listening to Kevin Hart.
@jasonkowens6820
18 күн бұрын
#FACTS
@thereismotion
28 күн бұрын
Don't wanna get married 🎉😅🙃
@globalnomad1221
17 күн бұрын
The majority of men get a bad deal
@andrewberna4045
10 күн бұрын
Most women will burn the relationship to the ground before playing the tambourine.
@taketheredpill1452
16 күн бұрын
You don't wanna get married...
@geraldframinghammer2626
15 күн бұрын
Band Name: Melancholy Dick
@metalguru6152
9 күн бұрын
Hilarious "You don't know how ugly you are".
@oceanlagoon7733
23 күн бұрын
Feels good but you don't HAVE to.
@kevinnorris6157
Ай бұрын
Absolutely right. Sex is paramount…. And when you’re married theres nothin wrong with it. Married sex is love! Plus it removes stress so that any problems you do have can be solved more easily!
@BlackandWhitecustoms
Ай бұрын
Sex is like a drug. It's never enough and when you do it too much you lose the feeling you got in beginning. Good Relationship come down to one simple thing, emotional intelligence. If you aren't emotionally I telligent you will hold your significant other responsible for your emotions which they have no control over.
@kevinnorris6157
Ай бұрын
@@BlackandWhitecustoms You're a fucking spam bot commie feminazi get the fuck outta here mr "highlighted reply". Emotional intelligence has to be the faggiest fake phrase I've ever heard. My comment is right on and you are either a bot or a cunt
@misspatvandriverlady7555
8 күн бұрын
Kindness and both people putting forth effort are the foundations of marriage. Seggs and travel are nice, but marriage is more about living together and raising kids. BTW, there’s no reason to get married if you aren’t raising a family together. 🤷♀️
@InvestBetter.
Ай бұрын
You don't wanna get married. If you do get married, you probably will wanna get divorced You know why divorce is so expensive for men? Because its worth it!
@flyguy4211
Ай бұрын
Then what does a man do if he want's kids??
@ysycotik
Ай бұрын
@@flyguy4211 Since when do you need to get married to breed a chick?? lol
@jbiancajackson4580
Ай бұрын
Don't have kids...it's not worth it for you or them! The world is going to pot, and it's not going to get better no matter what climate change scientists are publicly claiming. In the meantime, no matter how much you try to do the best for your kids, it will never be enough. The world is out of our control.
@miggy9260
Ай бұрын
@@flyguy4211make sure he can afford one. Pick a decent gal and finance the kid. It’s a business. Life is. “Government” is. Marriage is. A CONTRACT.
@StevenGladden-ue7ty
15 күн бұрын
He's right
@anncawthon9183
26 күн бұрын
What about "You don't want to repeatedly cheat on your wife?"
@greatthenate9864
21 күн бұрын
She stopped Licking his balls.... you don't get it.... A millionaire husband shouldn't walk around with a full sack.... FACTS and Truth.🤔.......Daily head to keep him from straying.... it's like putting cream out for a cat.... they'll never leave...... if she put you on a daily Head Schedule.... means she won, and you won.... and who's really in the drivers seat?🤔😉😅😂
@mixolydian9102
3 күн бұрын
I feel sorry for people like Chris Rock, because he will never know if the woman he marries truly loves him. Or she’s just going to wait out the clock like a jaded Cop and bail when the 10 years is up.
@3x3mm
23 күн бұрын
He-larry-us.
@dasdguy7606
17 күн бұрын
Family courts will, with remarkable efficiency, financially ruin a man. He will Rue the day he got married.
@zugzug6773
6 күн бұрын
not to worry, he got hooked up on the Adam Sandler movie train
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