I have suffered from chronic suicidality for over 20 yrs. I also have been dxd with BPD, MDD, anxiety, and treatment resistant depression. It is so awful living with this every day. Plus I have outside problems with financial instability, no support system, and I lost the one therapist who ever helped me 10 months ago. Thank u for this video.
@Lanja1991
5 жыл бұрын
Debbie Porter same 😞
@teresahowick5197
5 жыл бұрын
My daughter is suicidal. It’s terrifying. I’m so sorry
@coralmore3568
5 жыл бұрын
Teresa Howick I’m so sorry you’re both going through that. Sometimes it helps me to remember the low base rate for attempts (most people who think about suicide don’t attempt) and death by suicide (most people who attempt will survive). It doesn’t make it any less scary but I’m sending you all my love. I’ve been dealing with this for ten years (feels like way longer) and I believe in you.
@ethanpoole3443
4 жыл бұрын
Although I know it is a long shot I do hope that you are in a better place today, and if not that at least this day may be one of your better days. As someone who endured a great deal of peer abuse and rejection (as in exactly one reasonably close friend as a teen) throughout my adolescence (13-18) after transferring to a new rural school to the point that it destroyed my physical and mental health and left me with severe chronic pain, a multitude of disabling chronic illnesses, severe sleeping disorders, and C-PTSD all by the time I was 18 I certainly understand. My C-PTSD also leaves me with many symptoms that strongly parallel BPD (albeit minus devaluing), including significant emotional dysregulation, depression, suicidal ideation, and dissociation, in addition to the emotional flashbacks and anxiety attacks typical of PTSD. Then add in 30 years of severe chronic pain and disability plus decades of isolation and loneliness to escape abusive relationships since codependent empaths only ever seem to attract abusive partners. I lost the ability to trust others by age 23 after a particularly violent partner so no close friendships either, save for one long time friend and she is dealing with much the same as I (childhood C-PTSD plus abusive past partners). Sometimes I think it is a miracle that I have made it to 48, but then I know the one thing that has kept me attached to this world is the desire to survive long enough to care for and bury my parents to repay my debt to them as I have been wholly dependent upon them for most of my adult life, but after that I don’t plan to hang around for much longer as my mission in life will be complete. I am grateful, though, that my ideation is not always in the foreground of my thoughts, though it is never too far away nor out of mind when in the background, the desire is always there. I really do wish you all the best as I know how hard it can be and were it not for my parents I certainly would not still be here! I also hope you find another good therapist that you can trust as I know how difficult it can be to build that relationship when you have little reason to trust others and BPD, in particular, requires a very special therapist if they are to be of real help during your crisis periods when it feels like everything is falling to pieces. I once had a girlfriend in college who was an undiagnosed Borderline so I know those challenges, though I wish I had known what exactly was going on at the time so that I could have modified my own responses to her devalue cycles as my tendency to withdraw (particularly once the violence would begin, as I tend to dissociate when faced with violence or extreme stress) when every attempt to help failed likely only exacerbated her fears - but that sort of information was difficult to come by pre-internet (early 90s).
@kahlodiego5299
4 жыл бұрын
Me too.
@Magdalene777
5 жыл бұрын
One thing I find with suicidal ideation and depression is usually it's attributed to a mental problem or personality disorder. I spent half my life feeling that way, then found out I have hypothyroidism. I wanted to die because I felt sick all the time. Every symptom I had was treated like a mental disorder - ie. my hair started falling out, so it was thought to be stress. I think I was close to going into a coma by the time I found a doctor who believed I was physically ill, and wasn't a hypochondriac. I also have an in-law who has the same condition and she was given shock treatment because she was diagnosed with depression because no one considered there could be an underlying medical issue. I think sometimes underlying diseases and physical illnesses should be screened for, because sometimes a physical illness can present with similar symptoms as a mental illness.
@moxiemaxie3543
3 жыл бұрын
Yes
@brooklynn52dee38
3 жыл бұрын
Xmx2772 Absolutely! The thyroid if not working properly we have mood swings. Great post!
@wrmlm37
3 жыл бұрын
I am amazed your primary didnt test for this very common complaint, esp. with the hair loss. Simply bizarre.
@FringeWizard2
2 жыл бұрын
Nobody ever listened to me when I was in the psych ward that I wanted to kill myself because of chronic pain, tension, and fatigue... and loneliness... and that what I really needed was a physiotherapist and friends not drugs. After 2 months in the ward they diagnosed me schizotypal and gave me seroquel which I tried out and all it did was make my legs jitter and I did not sleep at all. Since then I've been using ODSP to pay for physiotherapy and I tried very fucking hard to make friends and a social life but it was all ruined by the lockdowns so I've been waiting for the lockdown to end now hoping it would be over in a few months, over in a year, etc. and now it's become clear the lockdown is never ever ending. I think I will kill myself at an anti-lockdown protest sometime to make a point with my death. Fuck lockdowns and fuck health problems.
@lilolmecj
2 жыл бұрын
@@FringeWizard2 please don’t, though I can feel your distress. Depending on your state there should be some options to socialize. Possibly you could link up with some of your friends via face time or some similar option. If you can physically go hiking, see if you can find a hiking club, they are likely meeting up. These lock downs are terrible and have caused more harm than good.
@elisamastromarino7123
5 жыл бұрын
With some exceptions, (particularly young people); I don't think anyone should have to stay alive any longer than they want to. Whether suffering from physical or mental afflictions for a long time, I believe it's a person's right to decide when to go. I don't know a lot about some of these illnesses, but I know about depression. And it's not really sadness like some people think. It's really a loss of vitality for life. And if that's gone on for a painfully long period of time for someone, maybe it's okay to give them their moment of clarity - a moment to know better than I do, or even doctors do - as to when it's okay to let go. Either way, its a sobering subject. Thank you Dr. Grande. 👍🌹
@Lanja1991
5 жыл бұрын
Elisa Mastromarino thanks for saying this!!! We totally need this!
@elisamastromarino7123
5 жыл бұрын
@@Lanja1991 You're welcome.
@skooliemom
5 жыл бұрын
I'm 46, have had severe recurrent depression since I was 12. I have heard people often say it is selfish for someone to commit suicide. I have thought about suicide..often but I also like being alive. I know it hurts those left after someone commits suicide but I agree it is a loss of vitality for life.
@beautyalaritz3310
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this food for thought. I'm a therapist and a personal sufferer of mental illness. Its challenging when as a society we believe that a person can feel differently and that in a way they're not completely able to consent to their own suicidal ideation if there is also a simultaneous chemical imbalance happening.
@coralmore3568
5 жыл бұрын
The problem with this line of thinking is that it quickly turns into a reduction of life-saving treatment because people adopt the “why spend so much resources on people who don’t even want to be alive”. I’ve dealt with chronic suicidality for ten years and I hate restrictive interventions and forced treatment but I also know that I do not want to die at the core of me. I rely on healthcare practitioners to remind me of this when my thinking is distorted and I can’t stay safe.
@LOdmaric
5 жыл бұрын
“they are best served by clinicians who can actively engage them” This. When I’m acutely suicidal, the one thing that would truly help me is to be able to openly speak to my Dr (not some helpline) who knows me. If only she could debate with me, not be emotional (I am not emotional at those times)... but my Dr’s only option is to send me to a locked ward, where truth be told, I’m more likely to take action. So I lie... and she knows it. It’s an awful state of affairs for all involved. I know of patients who have lost drs/psychologists when admitting to suicidal ideation.... it’s quite common. Clinician’s, talk to your patients... as individuals. We all have different needs and shouldn’t have to experience this alone. Get training if you need it. It’s part of your job.
@andreasschmitt7307
4 жыл бұрын
It´s true, one can´t talk completely open, if one is really serious. One in forced to shut up and make it out with oneself. After the suicide they ask, why they never spoke about it.
@user-lu8yl1uk9o
4 жыл бұрын
I wish I could buy this comment likes holy shit this is the most accurate and relatable thing I’ve read in months. I’ve never felt less alone. Thank you.
@andreasschmitt7307
4 жыл бұрын
@@user-lu8yl1uk9o It´s for free. You´re bad off, if you can make use of it. Wish you all the best.
@welcome159ify
4 жыл бұрын
This is so true. I had a really bad depressive episode in middle school almost 10 years ago and the police had to put me away against my will for psych evaluation/treatment. The whole experience made me even more mistrustful of mental health professionals and adults in general. After being released from the hospital, the vice principal had at one point asked me if I would ever disclose suicidal ideation to the school if I were to experience it again and I was honestly very scared of what her reaction would've been if I were to have given her a brutally honest "no" and deep down, I think she could sense what the answer to that question was. After dealing with many therapists, it seems that finding a therapist who doesn't have an "alarmist" approach to suicidality is virtually impossible. Like you said, it's an awful state of affairs.
@andreasschmitt7307
4 жыл бұрын
@My Seventy Thank you for your advice.
@jenniferloretto5939
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for everything you do. After my 30 year old son killed him self 5 years ago, I located his journals and discovered he had suicidal ideation for about 9 years before that. So, this discussion is very important. I read a book called Suicide and the Inner Voice. Very helpful.
@juneingram669
5 жыл бұрын
Sorry for your loss
@teresahowick5197
5 жыл бұрын
Jennifer Warwick I’m so sorry that’s beyond awful. There are truly no words. My daughter has attempted suicide and planned it again I intercepted and hospitalized her. It’s so scary. I’m constantly on edge
@Anastashya
5 жыл бұрын
Jennifer Warwick I’m so so sorry, Jennifer, for your horrific loss x 💝
@mugekalaycioglu3671
4 жыл бұрын
I am so sorry..I pray for u patience.. I am so sorry. God help u till u meet one day there in the heavens.
@terrimartin5663
4 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you. ❤️
@KuruContinuum
5 жыл бұрын
Sending love to everyone experiencing this, it's been 5 years for me. xxx
@Dragumix
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you. Sending also love to you. OOO
@gina2190
3 жыл бұрын
Sending hugs to u 2 ! From London.
@beckyweaver5981
2 жыл бұрын
I have set an exit date in 2022.
@ceban9014
2 жыл бұрын
Year 2 for me
@heekyungkim8147
2 жыл бұрын
This existence with suicidal thoughts are horrible…. I hope we make it through….
@teresahowick5197
5 жыл бұрын
How can I like this a gazillion times? I’m so glad I found you.
@DrGrande
5 жыл бұрын
That is such a kind thing to say - thank you!
@kathyclark8274
3 жыл бұрын
So many ppl in my life have made this irrevocable choice: relatives, friends, neighbours, even elderly, retired teachers, living alone, who have completed after we've talked. 🤔 Blaming oneself, to some degree, unavoidable. What-ifs are incalculable. Then there's chronic, empty gestures, histrionic, often manipulative. I wonder how many efforts or gestures on avg precede each completion? They say practice makes perfect.
@kathyclark8274
3 жыл бұрын
@@DrGrande I think this is your best effort to date, thorough, unflinching, helpful examination from all angles.
@paulmeng
3 жыл бұрын
As a student currently studying Counseling Psychology and starting my Practicum/Internship this semester, thank you very much for this video session and giving me the awareness to be prepared and how Self-Talks would also help me through the process 💪💪
@danielraypickrel4316
3 жыл бұрын
Had I not listened and read the comments to many hours of your video, would not risked in hearing your thoughts now. I have a scale of concern state system. One level is alerted if to use a logical brake. It goes like this, 'I do not want to live with this much pain, I would choose an immediate exit, it would cause ,most all, people aware of me would have to endure more pain. Therefore not ,fundamentally, not desiring to create more pain, regardless of whose body, mine or others". I will listen & Comment again. Thankyouthankyou.
@juliejackman2649
4 жыл бұрын
I ran a counseling office for a while. I am not a counselor. I was the only one in the office one day and a lady called and said she was out driving around in her car and wanted to drive off a cliff or some other kind of crash that would cause her suicide. I planned on having her talk with one if the counselors and kept her on the line as I tried to reach one. No one answered. So here I was almost 2 months to the day since my own young brother (he was 36) had taken his own life. And now it was up to me to try and keep her from doing the same thing. Such a difficult situation! I prayed and just kept being a broken record in trying to get her to go to the ER. This went on for a while, then she got off the phone. I tried about 20 min later to check on her and it just went to voicemail. So I left a message. A while later her mom called me back and told me that she'd driven to the ER and they admitted her. I was SO relieved! Even though that doesn't change my brother being gone, it did feel good to have someone choose life when given the choice.
@amandapark7786
2 жыл бұрын
I felt suicidal off and on since my early teens. In my better moments I used to feel like you that all lives were worth saving. The older I get though and the more I’ve experienced I’m starting to think that life might not be all that it’s cracked up to be. Really existence itself might not be this grand and inspiring thing if we all end up dead anyway and lost to time with the eventual burning up of our sun. It’s getting harder not to think of suicide as a valid option rather than tough out however many years or decades you have left. Maybe some of those years could have had some joy, but is the net gain worth it? Maybe not to some. At least that’s where my thoughts have been taking me for a while.
@gwho
2 жыл бұрын
people who unquestioningly say life is worth living are like the idiots who say orange (or whatever personal preference) is good.
@gwho
2 жыл бұрын
religion and hell definitely throw a wrench into people's critical thinking, preventing them from actually thinking about the topic to reacting out of fear and knee-jerk "morality"
@Tadesan
Жыл бұрын
Hugs. It is always valid. You are always powerful. Best to you forever. Hugs.
@whateversevers.6165
Жыл бұрын
I hope you are alive to read this today...I know how you feel. I know it doesn't go away. I know it feels very "alone". I have felt the pull of leaving the planet for most of my life. it doesn't go away... but, i also hope you are alive to read this today because you made a difference in my life today. Because of you and your comment, i dont feel so alone. because of you, i cannot go on believing no one else understands the kind of pain that is lived with, just because i am alive...you are not alone. thank you for helping me today. You made a huge difference in a life today.
@tracydegroat6345
10 ай бұрын
@@whateversevers.6165I hope you both are alive and reading this today. I searched for chronic suicide thoughts this morning in my latest attempt to stay on this planet. Over 30 years and I'm so tired. It's a daily fight with myself now. But I also don't feel as alone after reading your comments.
@birdnerd6651
4 жыл бұрын
You can save someone from a burning building, but saving them from themselves is a whole other thing.
@jwhippet8313
3 жыл бұрын
Statistically, the two most likely people to murder you are your mother and yourself; and if you can make it past one year of life, your mother's danger to you drops off dramatically. Makes it pretty hard to avoid the most dangerous people in your life.
@browneyedgirl1542
5 ай бұрын
Great way to put it. The burning building that is my brain.
@queen-yz5ux
2 жыл бұрын
I’m only 26 and have woken up every day wishing I was dead for the last 16 years. At this point I have no hope that it will go away.
@TattooMyBones
5 ай бұрын
Drugs ❤
@blueStarKitt7924
5 ай бұрын
At 10 y/o?! 😔🙏❤️
@Faconbaconzombchrist
Ай бұрын
It’s been going for me since age 13, I’m 34, good luck, I’ve always found a dark sense of humor to be helpful
@TheOptimistikChic
5 жыл бұрын
As person with mental health issues, as well as years of chronic suicide ideation, this video is what should be told. It's not a pleasant topic, and it's certainly not pleasant to live with, but if more physicians and mental health workers had an attitude similar to that of yours - I think we would be much better off. Thank you.
@weaverdreams
2 жыл бұрын
I disagree. Sometimes rational suicide is a good solution. For all the onlookers of course it seems like it’s not a good solution because they seem to want you to continue suffering at all costs. One of these days a peaceful exit will be legal in this country like it is in Switzerland.
@kristina4272
4 жыл бұрын
I lived in a state of chronic suicidality for over a decade, and made several attempts to end my life. Despite excellent mental health care, it was persistent. I am Bipolar 1, and now stabilized on medication. I am so grateful that I am alive. Thank you for an insightful video. I can't imagine the toll that it takes on caregivers and families. I still believe in the right that one has to commit suicide, but I also believe in hope. Because for me, my life did improve. I am now 69 and have 7 grandchildren. I have been stable for a decade. I would have missed so much had I ended my life. Thanks to you and all of those fighting on our behalf as we face the challenge of mental illness.
@sionnaich8340
4 жыл бұрын
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective and a few other things when I was around 12 (very young, I know) after over 5 stays at mental facilities within a couple years. Every time was because I tried to talk about a school counselor about my suicidal ideation, and every time it just made me worse being stuck in those places. Thank you for pointing out that hospitalization isn't always the answer.
@GavinsMarineMom
5 жыл бұрын
Compassionate, brave, wise, with an abundance of bridled strength, are you. Thank you for this, Dr Grande.
@DrGrande
5 жыл бұрын
You are too kind - thank you :)
@GavinsMarineMom
5 жыл бұрын
@@DrGrande I have my moments 😊
@Falcon-xy6tk
4 жыл бұрын
Great video! Agree with all of that you said. Except that family thing. Some families aren't suportive, and don't love you. Some families are one of the reasons of someone's suicidality.
@yahchile7681
2 жыл бұрын
I come from a cluster ( family) of narcissists...I'm the only empath...but somehow I made it out alive
@vanessaculater9038
5 жыл бұрын
You are most definitely the Physicians Physician ...
@qiuwbr091
5 жыл бұрын
Vanessa C u later - You said it!
@markchristiansen7350
5 жыл бұрын
You are one Dr. That should be teaching. And as with alot of your viewers have said if there were more like you alot more people would seek the help they need !
@Inner_wild_child
5 жыл бұрын
You brought up such good points about clinical opinions of chronic suicide! I’m currently working in inpatient and involuntary psychiatric crisis intervention, and when we have individuals with egregious criminal histories, I notice that many staff (especially physicians) tend to put up a barrier to treatment, along the lines of “yeah this person can’t be saved, let’s just stabilize them and get em out.” It’s an interesting paradox I find myself in (especially when someone has done things that I personally find horrific) but that’s why our education emphasizes that our work is about our clients and not our feelings/biases. I also notice that a lot of clinicians take suicidal attempts or ideations less seriously from individuals with BPD (“they’re just doing it for attention, they’d never actually kill them selves”) and they also throw around the BPD label onto anyone who is parasuicidal or shows any attention seeking behaviors. I know I request videos a lot lol, but I’d really love to hear your thoughts on involuntary psychiatric observation. I’m in Florida, which I’m sure you know ranks as one of the worst for mental health care, and I’ve seen the system work and fail for people, and while some individuals benefit from this model, other are re-traumatized.
@gwho
2 жыл бұрын
and that's why we cannot trust health professionals. but they will gladly continue taking your money. There are so many shitty therapists and doctors out there.
@andreadawngilpin3054
Жыл бұрын
This is an accurate description of psychiatry. It's sad especially since psychiatrists work in the helping profession.
@theresar4617
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you! Hospitalization at the mere mention of the word suicide was probably the most significant reason I hated therapists and distrusted them for so long. To anyone who is a therapist or plans on being one, listen to this guy. To everyone here because the first searched the word on youtube, listen to this guy also. All I wanted from therapists was to actually talk about it with me, and not automatically hospitalize. I couldnt exactly speak honestly with friends or family without freaking them out. Also, believe me, I don't know of any suicide you would cause by mentioning it. We already have numerous twisted scenerios going through our heads most of the time. Walking through a store? How easy would it be to slip right here and fall on this fixture and have it impale the back of my skull? It would look like an accident, and my family would get some money I bet. We've thought of it all.
@jcimsn8464
Жыл бұрын
So agree. I'm a therapist and don't send people to ER unless we agree the impulses are just too strong. Mostly we have an intense conversation about the despair they are feeling and are able to get past the crisis together. The best sessions I've ever had. I've seen inexperienced therapist EP clients and scar them for life.
@EllenDScott
4 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande, I think you are great. This has to do with my personal experience with therapists at the VA. Why is it so hard for a therapist to say "That sounds really hard. I can see why you feel the way you do...." BEFORE implying that the patient needs to learn to increase distress "Tolerance" - as if they haven't tolerated enough already. Some young girl therapist told me that and, even though I am quiet and shy until I can;t take it any more, I almost yelled out "BI%tch you have no idea how much distress I've tolerated. Now you want me to tolerate MORE? Toleration is what MAKES me this way! It truly seems like everyone is ready to hop on and invalidate the behavior without even seeing the patient, not to mention understanding that the patient is that way FOR A REASON, not because they like being suicidal.
@freeatlast5499
4 жыл бұрын
There aren’t words to describe how moved and impressed I am with you, Dr Grande. You saved this woman’s life. And did it with so much compassion and honesty. Thank you for all you do.
@TheAoide82
4 жыл бұрын
I have been watching your videos for a few weeks now, and am gaining so many insights into my own mental health issues. I'm a tough nut to crack, and I have not had a lot of positive experiences with mental health professionals- some have been great, and I have learned from them, but not always. I have chronic suicidality. I refer to it as being "passively suicidal" when trying to explain it. It is always in the back of my mind, and sometimes comes to the forefront. I have a plan, and sometimes when I become overwhelmed, I will use the planned process almost as a soothing mechanism, like "if it gets too hard, i can do this. I have a way out." I don't really want to die. But I have chronic mental and physical illnesses that make living nearly impossible on some days. I feel like a burden on my loved ones, and I'm just so exhausted. I have a fear of telling a mental health professional about how deep this ideation is, because I had an extremely traumatic experience a few years ago, seeking help. Thank you for this video. It helps me to know that some people understand this. It isn't easy to live with, and it isn't easy to talk about.
@tabithas1554
5 жыл бұрын
I love your post! Your very thoughtful and explain everything so well. I have struggled with mental health and l wish l could find someone like you near me. Your AMAZING! Thank you for posting!
@VickiBee
5 жыл бұрын
I USED to like his voice bc it was calm. Then I found out I needed a biopsy. Then I got the biopsy and now I need surgery to remove whatever it is, that they're playing medico-legal games over, saying they don't know and what it might be and asking ME to bear the brunt of responsibility. Now calm voices feel annoying. I'm sorry about. I wish I could feel comforted by something but even cat purrs aren't helping. And that never failed to make me feel better when I was depressed.
@derekl3108
5 жыл бұрын
@@VickiBee I session with a qualified nlp practitioner can help you with that, but make sure that they have plenty of experience with sub modality work.
@gigi9301
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for another wonderful video, Dr.Grande. I had a cousin who ended her own life when I was in high school, and the pain she caused all of us, especially my aunt and uncle, is indescribable, and ever-lasting.That was 35 years ago, and we all still mourn the loss of such a bright and talented spark. I have a 20-year old son, and I always make a point to let him know that he can always call or come to me about Anything. In the moment, circumstances can seem insurmountable, and suicide can seem like a quick fix; I know. Especially in this day and age of increased social isolation and loneliness, please pick up the phone and call your friends, family, and a hotline if anyone out there is having these dark thoughts. Your place in this universe is unique and important; please don’t ever forget this.
@lilac9240
2 жыл бұрын
The pain you and your family went through is probably ten times more painful for your cousin who ended her life. Only when you can feel her pain, can you have empathy and understand her deep pain that drove her to suicide.
@yessir8089
Жыл бұрын
Yes, but you don't want to bother people, you're ashamed and self isolate. It's a vicious circle, I am experiencing it right now. I don't want to see anyone and let them see the wreck I am.
@margaretthatcher4315
5 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande, you have been around the block! Your understanding of the client clinician dynamic as well as the larger mental health system is so vast. The fact that these videos bring both professionals and laypersons together in conversation is the closest thing I have seen to a system of care that holds clients and clinicians in the same esteem and makes partnership of care. You bring joy to my occasionally bitter social worker heart. Could you please consider a video about ECT? I would like to hear your thoughts and experiences with this therapy.
@lisaalexander1102
5 жыл бұрын
Margaret Thatcher. Video about ECT: Yes, please!
@raffifl
3 жыл бұрын
Im a psychiatric resident working in a psychiatric emergency room for more than two years. Chronic suicidality is something we see on a daily basis. I must say that the insights make sense and i wish i had seen this two years ago...
@r.chrism.d.3001
5 жыл бұрын
Accurate, succinct, overview of persistent high suicidal risk. IMHO, impulsivity is the key. You did mention it. As an aside, it seems as though your videos are increasingly more contemporary and clinically-seasoned, perhaps supporting the adage the best way to learn something is to teach it.
@mellissaeddinger531
5 жыл бұрын
This topic hits way too close to home for me. I've been this way for 13 years 😔
@stuartasankowich8506
5 жыл бұрын
Me too. So much has gone wrong in my life , mostly my very awful decision making. When I was a teenager a lot of stuff happened. My father was brutally murdered girlfriend raped and traumatized could not understand anything I was doing tomany drugs. Today my life inside myself still doesn't heal after. A lot of attempts to get better. I wish you well today n your tomorrows G d Bless You Always
@jd7338
3 жыл бұрын
@@stuartasankowich8506 hope you’re doing okay Stuart Jesus loves you
@dizzydiddle123
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for having such a balanced and thoughtful view on this topic. Your videos are very considerate and informative. My therapist unfortunately has a tendency to guilt trip me about being suicidal and thinking about taking my own life. I have been diagnosed with BPD with avoidant traits and my depression is treatment resistant so suicidality has been a chronic state of mind for me for a very long time. Because my self harm has become increasingly severe, my therapist has asked me about suicide and I've told her these are thoughts that I have had many years. When she asked what was stopping me I said the fear of not doing it properly and ending up with physical damage that I'll have to live with. She angrily asked me if I didn't care about my family and if I honestly thought that my mother would survive my suicide. I know that I'll only transfer my own pain onto other people if I die, but honestly, in the headspace I'm in right now I am unable to see it any other way than that it won't be my problem if I'm dead. I know that I'm a terribly selfish person and my therapist makes it crystal clear to me that she thinks so as well. I know she's probably trying to get me to see reason, but she really isn't helping. She's only making me even angrier at myself for having these thoughts.
@juliebolger668
5 жыл бұрын
Your videos address such important topics in terms laymen can understand. Your vast knowledge and experience coupled with illustrative analogies are so helpful. I enjoy the calm, thoughtful presentation which is so different to a lot of other mental health channels on YT. You are a brilliant teacher, thank you.
@لمىالشريف-غ8ك
5 жыл бұрын
💖💖💖 The suicidal rate upon my people is relatively low. Though the high rate of depression. The main idea that keeps people holding on to dear life is a belief. A belief in our religion, that all hardships and calamaties, if endured patiently, are generously rewarded after a person's life is over. Of natural causes of course. It's absolutely amazing what my people are putting up with. The amount of pain and suffering has led some to loose their minds. Some have developed split personalities to cope. It's all very sad. And exhausting for people who want to help. I think hopelessness and helplessness can be lifted when removing the cause of suffering. Sometimes that is not simply possible. Thank you Dr. Grande for addressing this topic. Very thoughtful of you! I actually didn't know that mental help physicians suffer with their clients. I thought I was too weak! Thank you
@RaysDad
4 жыл бұрын
I saw a disturbing TV documentary ("Boy Interrupted") about a teenager who was suicidal from very early childhood. He knew at an early age that he would someday jump from a high place -- the knowledge that he was in control of the time and place seemed to please him. His family was constantly stressed by this preoccupation and they had him in treatment from an early age. When he finally was found dead at the bottom of an elevator shaft the family was grief-stricken, even though they'd known for years that this end was inevitable. I have no idea how this case could have been approached clinically to produce a better outcome.
@dragasikanovski9063
5 жыл бұрын
I always enjoy how informative and articulate you are with your videos...it’s been a joy listening to you.
@Anastashya
5 жыл бұрын
Excellent video, Dr Grande. I think more people have experienced the idealisation of suicide than what we may think. At the height of my PTSD I went through haunting feelings of genuinely thinking that life would be better if I no longer had to face the aftermath of trauma. My therapist did eventually ask me about any suicidal thoughts, and I admitted I had had them. Because he opened up the subject, to me, it no longer felt like a disgusting taboo to bring up, and I did feel weak and rather pitifully ashamed of those feelings. And that’s where you really made such valid points, Dr Grande. No mental health professional can prevent a patient from committing suicide, but by not bringing it up with a patient who has certain conditions that could predispose them to suicide or the ideation of, won’t help the patient or the therapist. There’s also a validation that goes along with a therapist that can discuss suicide openly, and a patient is probably more likely to be open about thought processes, but also to never actually carrying out the act of suicide. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge about such an important, controversial and oft times taboo subject. You’re a diamond in the sand, Dr Grande and your patients are fortunate to have you, as are we! ☺️
@Burkwood
Жыл бұрын
Having a psychiatrist who isn't afraid to ask about suicide, while keeping a calm, therapeutic tone, is very comforting. It makes you feel he or she is capable and has dealt with it many times and they don't see it as an inevitably for you. It helps you not feel strange or beyond help. Excellent video. Thank you.
@mothboss
5 жыл бұрын
I’ve been chronically suicidal since I was 8, and since getting my ASD diagnosis: I don’t think there’s anything to help me. I’ve been through every therapy in the book and I feel retraumatized by them, particularly cbt and dbt where I feel the therapist isn’t listening to me and I feel they don’t care that the origin of my problems isn’t my own internal monologue or beliefs. I’ve been told I have ptsd, and it’s probably from multiple sources: but specifically every time I have a meltdown (catatonic episode? It seems more medical than psychological but no one listens to me about that either...) I am retraumatized, which can happen as often as everyday if I’m in a bad cycle (it seems to be at least some what tied into my hormones). I’ll probably delete this comment too, like the others. But I’m alone all day in my house so commenting here between therapy sessions is the only real talking I do with anyone.
@tuck-brainwks-eutent-hidva1098
5 жыл бұрын
I know how difficult it can be to be isolated in your home, and also to experience neurological or biochemical "quirks" (that's what I have come to call my own experience! 😉) in a world of more "typical" folks. (Not sure exactly what you are describing; putting pieces together from your reference to ASD & use of "catatonic"...?) Know that you are not alone; carving a constructive life out of an unusual situation is possible. Please don't give up! I'm glad you are reaching out; keep trying....
@greysoncpeltier
4 жыл бұрын
I have Asperger’s and I totally understand. I did neurofeedback (2 rounds of it) and it’s the only thing that’s helped, but still some of these symptoms (particularly the catatonic part) remain.
@Tadesan
2 жыл бұрын
Sending you strength and well wishes. Hugs.
@sexycheerldr06
2 жыл бұрын
if you need anyone to reach out to... I'm here
@redactedcanceledcensored6890
2 жыл бұрын
yeah some ppl don't need therapy, just a fkin chance at life
@daisybennett1600
Жыл бұрын
I dealt with this for many years. It did not resolve until after I got an autism diagnosis (and after I processed that of course). I understood and accepted that I was never an evil person who chose to be a horrible nuisance to everyone around me, which is what I was raised to believe about myself (though my family actually knew I was autistic the whole time…). I realized I was just…disabled. A disabled person who had tried very hard to do my best for my entire life. I could accept being disabled a lot easier. What’s especially weird though is that I repeatedly told therapists and friends that I felt like the core of my depression and suicidality was somehow situational, but they always rejected that idea. Inevitably, it was kind of true…
@LuckyL0ki
2 жыл бұрын
i've been struggling with being suicidal for 8 years now. this is the only video that included everything about this topic, and all the ways it can be expressed in people. so, thank you for this video. my opinion on suicide is that a person's own life is theirs to take or not take. but, if someone is reaching out for help, it's sometimes because they see death as the only way out. those people may actually want to live, but to live with a higher quality of life. they may need extra tools and support to get there.
@julialong743
2 жыл бұрын
I tell my loved ones (cause I have a few) "thank you for being so inedibly selfless by staying here. I know you hate it here, but I also know some days are better than others. I pray for more days where the feeling is fleeting than overwhelming. Your selflessness in not giving in to that feeling allows your person to embrace you, your children to love you, and the rest of us to laugh with you. Staying is much harder, but we are here to love you through it, and leave you alone when you need. " THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO.
@serendipitous_synchronicity
5 жыл бұрын
Dr Grande, your dedication is outstanding! I'm certain your channel saves lives! Thank you for your hard work 😘
@lilac9240
2 жыл бұрын
I think Dr.Grande's videos are so powerful because he has true empathy and have dealt honestly with his own personal struggles. So many therapists are not effective because they have not dealt honestly with their personal pain. You can't have true empathy when you haven't gone to the depth of your darkest moments and truly experience that deep pain.
@judepamment1106
5 жыл бұрын
I have CPTSD with suicidal ideation and this was great! Thank you 💟
@DrGrande
5 жыл бұрын
You're welcome :)
@quabot
3 жыл бұрын
Already talked about PTSD. After getting fired, somewhat considered that my military life insurance covered suicide, and since I had the max, my parents would be set for life. Then someone said, “God brought you home for a reason.” I figured this was probably correct, since they would have gotten the same cash if I hadn’t made it. Then my mom asked me to move back in and be my dad’s caretaker. He’s passed away, but now I’m her caretaker. I agree with you about the right approach. I’ve talked other comrades, including the medic who saved my life when I got wounded, out of suicide by telling them they still have goals to accomplish for the human cause.
@amb5176
2 жыл бұрын
I am so sorry you had such a difficult road, I hope you are OK now. How lucky your parents are to have a wonderful caring child like you
@cd4536
5 жыл бұрын
I was chronically suicidal for a very long time. My battle with suicidality began in 2000 when I was 11/12ish after my first psychotic episode. The last time I was suicidal was in 2016. I think having a therapist who could engage me was super helpful and also being back on Lithium, which has been shown to have a protective factor when it comes to suicide.
@gretahunt4401
4 жыл бұрын
I've been suicidal with a constant plan to end things for nearly 20 yrs. I struggle to keep it at bay and I am only able to hold off because of the pain I know I will leave behind. Sometimes however my own pain can override that concern which happens more often now since my mother died. I lhave attempted suicide or come very close to attempting it several times. I'm rarely honest with my doctors about this tho because of not wanting to be hospitalised. My cats, who are the only tether to life that I have in my daily life, would not have anyone to care for them if I was hospitalised. That and not wanting to have the choice stripped from me means that Ive never called a hot line or gone to A&E when I'm in crisis. To be clear, I want to stop feeling this way all together but I don't want to be stopped by anyone else when I decide to attempt it. I've never heard of suicidal ideation being termed as chronic or acute but it makes so much sense now that I've heard it.
@mommamandadawn9004
4 жыл бұрын
♡
@kathyclark8274
3 жыл бұрын
Greta Hunt ~ T/Y for putting those precious furbabies ahead of your own needs and wanting to make certain they are not abandoned, left to suffer and die from malnutrition or neglect. That would be unspeakably cruel. Many times the obligation I feel towards my poor dumn friends keeps me from doing the deed, making a final exit for them They have not expressed a deathn wish to me personally. I would not presume to do somethings so irrevocable.
@gretahunt4401
3 жыл бұрын
@@kathyclark8274 my cats are my priority and no matter what I’ll make sure they’re taken care of. Even though I’ve made plans for them to be taken care of, just the thought of putting them through having to adjust to another home or have to be in a shelter for a while, is enough to put me off doing anything to myself. But unfortunately even that resolve can crumble when things get really bad, hence why I’ve made plans should anything happen.
@bandoogiemanz
3 жыл бұрын
If my parents werent here I think I'd be gone by now.
@hunybun7
2 жыл бұрын
My dog is the only thing that keeps me alive much of the time. Suicide is on my mind constantly. I am in horrible, chronic pain from Depression. I have had PTSD & Major Depressive disorder since I was a child. I do have a game plan if all else fails, but no one could possibly give my dog the love & understanding that I can. The emotional pain get's unbearable... I have an enzyme in my liver that doesn't allow meds to ever be enough to..... I hate the thought of a violent end. This was the BEST talk on Suicide I have ever found on KZitem. Thank Dr. Grande.
@jessicaborn8195
4 жыл бұрын
Excellent discussion. This actually helps me understand my current therapist and my former therapist better. I was not always sure that I wasn't going to attempt but they must have known I wouldn't because they never acted in a dramatic way to any of my thoughts or discussion of plans (although I usually talked about the plans after when I wasn't actively planning anymore). I know there have been times where I want to live so I hold on to that as much as possible.
@brianbauer2595
2 жыл бұрын
I've witnessed 3 people in my family commit suicide when I was 5-6 years old. It's been hard over the years, but I'm determined to not do the same thing. Thank you, Dr. Grande.
@pearlyq3560
5 жыл бұрын
Wow, super interesting. I had no idea it could be summed up as a kind of state of being. It makes it seem more can be done when it's all boxed up like that -- and that it's not just some random unknown. It's better to have a "name" on it so it can be identified and captured. For example, instead of saying, "I have a runny nose, sneezing and coughing", and you say, "You either have an allergy or a cold", then you can do something about it when you have identified the symptoms and connected them to a problem with a name. That suicidal ideation can be a state of being that can be altered rather than a random set of unpredictable emotions that one has no control over. Thank you for bringing to light things that are taken forgranted by the layman. You help to switch on the lights to the human condition. Bless you. From Canada.
@fireballfitness170
3 жыл бұрын
10:55.. death anxieties.. 11:47.. attitude and opinions vary... 12:19.. other points of view, about existential dilemmas... that aren't related to mental illness at all 13:17... (Thanks for being honest about your perception as a clinician) 14:32... Stay empathetic and tuned in... Understanding how somebody feels versus feeling how somebody feels which can result in Compassion fatigue... 15:45... If somebody is risk-averse and a client mentions suicide then that risk averse physician is more at risk to hospitalize..
@RyelSteele
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this presentation. This is a very timely topic for me. I've been acutely suicidal lately due to an extremely high amount of stress but also chronically suicidal for decades. I call the chronic side my existential dilemma. Too bad that so many clinicians don't seem to know what I'm talking about when I say this, they seem to have stuck to their psych texts and lectures but never delved into philosophy. I've gotten more help from Jordan Peterson and Stephan Molyneux for that aspect than any clinician.
@DrGrande
5 жыл бұрын
You're welcome :)
@shawnmorymcmillion
3 жыл бұрын
This helped me so much. I’m up to 4 dogs, one horse, a weekly therapist, and heavy yet responsible use of the local warm line. I’m working so hard on my mental health recovery. Your channel really helps. God bless you, Dr. Grande!
@tombryant52jumpscoach
3 жыл бұрын
I especially appreciated that clinicians are people too and can have problems with this while treating patients. Frankly, it was refreshing and eye-opening. Thank you for doing a video on this topic. You did an excellent job of it, Dr. Grande.
@elihouston3115
5 жыл бұрын
as someone who is told that his baseline is suicidal this was a great eye opener
@lnc-to4ku
3 жыл бұрын
The level of thought, study and knowledge you have and share is so incredible!! I can't thank you enough for all the things you do and then give to others!!
@soulvigilante
4 жыл бұрын
I really appreciate your making the distinction between defaulting to "CYA" liability aversion (which an overwhelming majority of clinicians tend to lean towards) and the value in immediacy and therapeutic alliance in working with clients dealing with chronic suicidality. Acute and chronic SI are two very different experiences. When a clinician responds acutely to chronic presentation, it can cause double harm. 1.) The client with chronic SI may feel invalidated, and 2.) they are more likely to go "underground," not only with that clinician but with future providers as well.
@AngelinaATF
5 жыл бұрын
Ty for referencing all the articles! I’m trying to catch up w you as i am Moderator on several channels. I like how CALM you seem. If you every decide to go “LIVE”, I can help you.
@alisa2373
3 жыл бұрын
I miss this kind of videos from you recently, Dr.Grande. I understand that you want to cover the recent events and that definitely helps to spread your ideas into a broader audience, but these broad and less person-specific topics are also important. Maybe you could make some follow-ups on the older videos if there is more interesting literature in the field or your views change?
@lynningram4218
3 жыл бұрын
I’ve never even heard of this but it fits to a T. I will show this video to my psychiatrist and at psych testing because it’s so accurate as to what I experience. Thank you for always informing people about mental illness and finding the words I can’t express.
@bouncereightyone9337
9 ай бұрын
I am very happy for you that you found this video ❤
@karynlouise77
4 жыл бұрын
I have been chronically suicidal, but I'm a Christian, and one day it dawned on me that I wasn't trusting God and His plan for my life to think that way. I still fight depression, but I don't cross the line to wishing I weren't alive any more because I remind myself that God promised He has a plan for my life.
@kemeee5407
3 жыл бұрын
Amen! 🙏 God is the ONLY reason that I haven't committed suicide. In 2013, I attempted suicide for the last time. I had a NDE which blew my mind. I saw Hell, & then Heaven. My Testimony is on my channel. If I had not been in Hell after that attempt in 2013-I would be long dead by now.
@beckyweaver5981
2 жыл бұрын
What is it? I’m a believer to but he has never revealed what my purpose is. And I really have no clue. Growing weery by the minute.
@dawnfollett9215
2 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande, Excellent discussion on the whole suicide topic. I am doing well on medication for anxiety and depression--and often wanted to discuss suicide--but then people think I am suicidal because I want to talk about it from a standpoint of it being a rapidly growing problem. “Thank You!”
@stefaniemore3203
2 жыл бұрын
Hi, Dr. Grande: Just a few days ago, I watched your video on your psychological assessment of Anthony Bourdain, and I left a comment related to my own struggles with mental health. Twelve step programs played a huge part in my being able to not commit suicide. One of the interesting things I became aware of in meetings (I first got sober in Oct. 1988), is the common thread of people feeling shame, as if they are the only ones who feel a particular way, only to find out upon joining a twelve step program, or group therapy, is that what they are experiencing is the dark side of the human experience. That awareness can be so liberating and the beginning of true healing. The mindset of "pulling one's self up by the bootstraps," "man up," the John Wayne, tough guy "who's not afraid of anyone or anything," does not leave much room for someone, especially for men, to feel free to say, "I hurt," "I feel overwhelmed," "I'm afraid," etc. It seems to me that our country could use some good ole consciousness raising groups to discuss so much of what is swept under the rug and hidden in the closet, most especially feelings of depression and suicidality. We're all hurting, to some degree or other, why not bring it to the light. I'm sorry to have gone on for so long. Your videos do generate interesting discussion. Thank you for insightful food for thought. Please be well and stay healthy.
@abbieyandle4986
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for emphasizing that hospitalization is not always the best option, and can be for many of us the worst thing you can offer. It's also important to understand that the family is often the source of the intense distress, and bringing them in or manipulating the client to bring them in often increases the suffering and can solidify the suicidal thoughts into intentions and actions. Yes, it's a complex topic, and the bypass of the person suffering is obvious in the organizations that claim to be for awareness, and only from the perspective of those left behind with grief. It's all very judgy of the person who literally can't take any more. Totally lacking compassion for the other because of personal grief and anger. Again, thank you for this discussion 💖💞🙏
@BloggerMusicMan
2 жыл бұрын
I've dealt with recurring depression since I was 14, and have had long periods where I was thinking about suicide but never gone full out into actually doing it. I've been in hospital twice because my head was so full of suicidal thoughts that it was keeping me up at night, to the point where I was thinking about various things in my house I could use to harm myself. I've found hospitals have a really calming effect in a lot of ways. Yes, some of the procedure is a little jarring, such as being able to keep you under their care for up to 72 hours. But I've found hospitals can save your life because the whole structure is meant to shut out the outside world. Everything else stops feeling like a threat.
@stevenwood8017
5 жыл бұрын
Hat’s off to you for presenting such a frank, & informed talk on a very difficult subject for all the people involved with someone who is suicidal. Having lost several relatives to suicide & others who have attempted suicide, as well as suffering from severe depression myself.I am 100% behind the idea of the family being involved with the care of a loved one who is suicidal. As surely it is better to have tried & (maybe) failed to help them, then the gut-wrenching guilt that I have personally felt when a loved one of mine’s suicidal inclinations was, in my view mistakenly kept a family secret, known to only a few family members. The more you face your demons, the better you become at defeating them!
@pocoeagle2
5 жыл бұрын
Very interesting video about a difficult topic. I know someone, who had major depressive disorder and was chronic suicidal. She choosed for hospitalization and was helped by electro shock therapy. It's a controversial therapy, but as far as I know it can be very helpful. The person I know came out of her chronic suicidal situation and feeling chronic very depressed by getting several times this therapy. Thanks for making this video Dr. Grande.
@DrGrande
5 жыл бұрын
You are most welcome -
@stevestarr9769
3 жыл бұрын
So happy I found this. As a person with both Major Depressive Disorder and BPD, this "chronic suicidality" describes me perfectly. This video will definitely be a topic of discussion with my therapist next week. Thanks for doing all of these videos.
@serenity_in_reverie
3 жыл бұрын
my suicidal thoughts got triggered again as my abuser keep separating me with my siblings. and its just horrible feeling since my 1st reaction when im under stress is "i wanna go "home"". since kid ive always had this thought.. i always said, "i wanna sleep forever". :( didnt know that i was depressed already when i was little. i came back to this video to understand myself better... :(
@buildtherobots
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing, this video was incredibly helpful. I am not a clinician but a patient who experiences chronic suicidal ideation. I appreciated the explanations addressed at clinicians relating to compassion fatigue and their own comfort discussing heavy subjects because it helped me better understand why my past therapists got stressed out. I was able to turn some of the main points in the video into interview questions to ask when shopping for a therapist, which I am in the process of at the moment and have never really felt confident in or like I had a choice or a reason to be choosy. I took note of the various therapies that were geared towards or had skills that could be applied to helping reduce this symptom. I had heard of and tried both CBT and DBT but wasn't satisfied. I asked Kaiser for other forms or methods of therapy and they couldn't suggest anything other than what they had already given me multiple times before, insisting that maybe this time the skills will noticeably help. But to no avail as the class material was word for word the same as when I took the class 5 years ago (down to the ComicSans font) and my mood and attitude/cooperation diminished with each repeated skills class. I refused to go back after I was feeling increasingly peeved by the staff and my fellow participants who were overcrowded in the room. I didn't want to get agitated and unfairly have a big emotional outburst directed at one of them and I didn't learn anything new so I politely declined further suggestions that I try the same again as I did not think it would be a good idea continuing to expose myself to situations that made me feel particularly angry and volatile. I'm bookmarking this video to link to curious professionals I encounter in the future (usually a good sign if they seem open-minded). So thank you, for the guidelines and insights on a topic that is still difficult to discuss.
@greysoncpeltier
4 жыл бұрын
buildtherobots Kaiser is notoriously bad. I am sorry you are dealing with that. My best advice with any managed care is to appeal the heck out of any denial (even a shadow denial without a notice of action). Get independent medical review. Pay out of pocket for a consult with a specialist and have a letter saying that you need something not available in network.
@pascalineloos2802
3 жыл бұрын
You are so very good at what you do--in my opinion anyway. It amazed me when you brought up the issue of a pet. I know this lady that has no family, many chronic illnesses, and yet at least every few months she tells her dog --"well I'm not going anywhere while you are here that's for sure! " If that person was me I would hope that I had the opportunity to see a clinician who is as knowledgeable and empathic as you are.Thanks again doc. You seem to be such an amazing person and clinician. Your empathy is showing again😳 Wow ❤ I try to be as supportive as I can with this lady, now I have a little bit more understanding of her situation.
@mau48310
3 жыл бұрын
I was diagnosed with chronic depression, struggled with suicide for quite a while, but somehow I developed a healthy dose of nihilism. Now I might get down on myself but I don't hang around the thought of killing myself or anything that involves injury to me or anyone else . Philosophy studies for the win on this one. Ty for sharing I hope not too many people find themselves in need of help but their aid is to scared to jump into that conversation. The world itself is fabricated in meaning so we have the opportunity to find happiness however we wish even if it's unorthodox or not big in money making, the point is living, not living rich or famous.
@AprilReyn
3 жыл бұрын
In my humble opinion I think it is a relief like knowing its always an option makes you feel better
@Brobro37372
5 ай бұрын
I think that’s why I think about it so much, I think about it as if it’s my parachute, but then I also get mad that it’s really not because I know I need to live for my parents and my nephews. I want it to be a comforting thought that it’s an option but then I get mad it’s really not
@Judi4Him4Ever
Жыл бұрын
I lost my young sister to Suicide. She spent two years attempting and going in and out of hospitals, but tragically finally found a way around the guardrails. RIP Barb 1976-2018 😢
@iluvsubliminals
Жыл бұрын
Damn
@marleeshore1387
Жыл бұрын
So sorry for your loss
@Had_A_DAT
Жыл бұрын
I’ve been through almost all your videos and I’ve determined that I’m in some serious trouble. Crap. I’ve always had a plan with every method available. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m terrified because I know this is how I go out. The question is truly when.
@marleeshore1387
Жыл бұрын
How are you doing now?
@lilacsnroses3345
2 жыл бұрын
I went to see a new therapist 15 years ago when I was in a very difficult situation. She asked me to tell her about my life, starting at my childhood. At the end of my first session, she asked me " How is it that you haven't tried to kill yourself yet"? I never went back. In fact, I'm having my first appointment since that one , tomorrow afternoon.
@whereisawesomeness
4 жыл бұрын
I’ve been chronically suicidal for about two years now, and one thing I regularly question is whether I should get professional help. I’ve been seeing professionals (for a variety of issues) regularly for the past several years, but mostly because it’s ‘the thing I’m supposed to do’. It hasn’t resulted in any significant or lasting improvement, and I’m not sure I want help. I’m perfectly okay with being suicidal, I don’t really have any desire to change that, but at a cognitive level I do realise I should want to change it. It’s not like I’m resistant to the idea, I’m just not fussed.
@Ceekeyz
5 жыл бұрын
I have to talk to my psychiatrist about this. It's hard to know when you should go to the hospital. I have BPD and Ptsd and it is usually a 50 50 split like what you said about the balance. Thanks for the video it's a good one.
@mellissaeddinger531
5 жыл бұрын
Hi Chelsea. Ask your doctor to provide you with the 1-800 suicide hotline number. They can help talk you through really difficult points in your life while being able to determine if you're in real danger 💕. Also they're 24/7!
@DrGrande
5 жыл бұрын
You're welcome -
@anniekierstead5419
4 жыл бұрын
What a sad situation for so many to be in. My heart goes out to those who struggle so deeply with depression that they want to end their own lives. Very tragic for all involved. My uncle Artie committed suicide. No one even knew he was that desperately depressed. I wish he had said something - asked for help. 💔
@bandoogiemanz
3 жыл бұрын
Im afraid to tell my family. We dont have any prior experience with suicide so I'm afraid of how they will handle it. So I've kept it to myself.
@anniekierstead5419
3 жыл бұрын
@@bandoogiemanz Are you referring to yourself? Please dear one, please don't allow thoughts like this to stay in your mind. Suicide doesn't end problems and pain. It just transfers them to another dimension.
@billhildebrand5053
4 жыл бұрын
What a good answer to a topic like this Dr. Grande.😄😄😄😄
@hannahgilan8504
7 ай бұрын
Thank you! After a suicide attempt my psychologist made me sign a document that if I ever attempt again she would end my treatment. That was the only treatment she gave me. Since then I haven't had a therapist, hopefully I'll find one in the future.
@hondacrat4339
2 жыл бұрын
Very Good Talk, Dr. Grande, Thank You! All lives have value, you've got my deep respect! My close friend went through this for many years, she was traumatized as a young woman and could not really remember her childhood. She saw a Psychiatrist for many years who got her through the worst but it never went away until... One day after many days of talking with me regarding psychopaths, sociopaths etc. she came to the understanding that nothing was her "fault" as she realized that her mother and sisters were most likely one or the other as they never showed fear, pain, or love, never cried but were extremely creative, charming people. Unfortunately, they (her mom and sisters) did horrible things to her... after her realization; her memories came flooding back and were no longer scary or threatening. as she understood she couldn't change them they were who they were and they couldn't change themselves. This talk really hits home for her, but she is so grateful now (30 plus years on) knowing that she is here on earth. Suicide is so difficult to treat you've got to be supported and helped, my friend once told me that she felt if she just had 1 person who would hold her, hang with her, be there with her... without asking for anything back she would be ok... she made it through... hope yours make it through...
@tamelagibson2154
6 ай бұрын
My first attempt was at 11, then 14, then 20, then 30. I am 52 now and still think about it every day.
@ellecee453
4 жыл бұрын
I appreciate your making clear your own position that all lives are of value, even the most difficult. I agree with you. I gained a lot of valuable information from this video. Thank you.
@TheBoxOfRocksFTW
3 жыл бұрын
forced lifer spotted
@camuscat123
5 жыл бұрын
That is the most helpful talk I have watched thus far. So many questions...I am overwhelmed. I think I watched this previously...but your information is invaluable to those who work in acute care.
@DrGrande
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much!
@DoggyHateFire
3 жыл бұрын
I'm a crisis counselor so most of my job is evaluating clients for suicide risk. I've found, just in my couple of years doing this that those who've experienced trauma are much more likely to deal with chronic suicidality. It can be hard because as you said, hospitalization is sometimes a bad idea. Some people just think about suicide a lot, but don't have any intent to actually act on it. I've also found that most people don't really want to die, they want their pain to go away. They'll text a friend or family member or they attempt in a way that has a very low chance of death. But then I see people that I feel actually wanted to die. I always try and do my best to keep a client safe, but there have been clients where I totally understood why they wanted to take their life. Some people have an awful life with little to no chance of it improving. Don't get me wrong, I think the vast majority of clients I see do have a chance at a life they enjoy, but if you're very old and your health is failing and you have no close relationships, then yeah, I completely understand and empathize.
@weaverdreams
2 жыл бұрын
Finally someone with a rational mind.
@nodawayprepping2258
2 жыл бұрын
I am 33 and have been chronically suicidal since I was about 6 years old. My parents were extremely abusive including basically sex trafficking me to a drug dealer. I've had multiple abusive relationships. I have lost count how many times I've attempted suicide. Things are better now I live alone but I have such frequent panic attacks and flashbacks and nightmares that working and having actual friends or a relationship is out of the question. My life will never be "normal" and I'm currently living for my dog slinky who is 13 I have a therapist but I can't talk to her about this because I know she will just hospitalized me and ill lose my pets and apartment and end up back living with my abusive drug addict parents or on the street. You are totally right that sometimes hospitalization does more harm than good and more therapists need to learn that!
@gavroche8620
2 жыл бұрын
I am sorry, all I can do is to leave this comment online to say that I care, I am not a pos, I have empathy, compassion for others … that’s all I can do. This world is sick… Stay strong.
@northstar92
4 жыл бұрын
I don't want to be dissuaded from my own suicidal inclination with affirmations and platitudes. I want to understand it better because that feels more genuine. A cold reality I'm often confronting is that the stigma endures for a purpose partly involving social cohesion. I see two attitudes applied to suicidality: The faithful stoics among us are motivated to become resilient and gradually learn to cherish and share joy and those _ungrateful_ living dead are dissuaded from participating in blooming life, so as to not infect or drag others down with them. I would argue that suicide is more often an act of selflessness or even a mercy upon mutual suffering.
@justjulia1720
2 жыл бұрын
I've recently realized that what I had been dealing with for a good amount of time in my childhood, may have been chronic suicidality. Everything I've heard so far about it felt like a very accurate description of how I used to feel. I'm glad I don't feel that way anymore, and it does bring me some sense of closure now that I found the term for my experiences. Thanks for this video!
@jimjack1433
2 жыл бұрын
It hurts so bad sometimes it takes my breath away....I know my fate....it feels inevitable
@luckylady6871
2 жыл бұрын
Couldn’t have said it better myself..I hope you are ‘ok’, know you are not alone 🙏
@Lexojoso
3 жыл бұрын
Me: *buys hamster so I have something that depends on me and therefore will keep me from committing suicide* Dr. Grande: people in this state of mind may rely on transient things like pets to keep them alive Shiiiiiidddd I’ve been called out
@mattakudesu
3 жыл бұрын
I have actually considered having a child in an attempt to give myself something that would anchor me to life, but then I realized I would jist be creating another human that could potentially have the same problems I have and I would probably end up failing them in the end anyway, causing more unnecessary pain. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that my mental problems are not going away and the best thing I can do is keep my problems inward as not to cause unnecessary trouble for others. People generally have enough problems of their own without worrying about whether oe not some random douchebag they work with is gonna commit suicide and cause someone else to have to work on their day off.
@lexieharris1192
2 жыл бұрын
@@mattakudesu meeeee but I can't have kids without meds that would worsen my depression so I have my service dog in training and my farm animals lol
@yahchile7681
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah.. I can identify..I got a dog
@yahchile7681
2 жыл бұрын
@@mattakudesu no dont..thats really not a good reason for, various reasons...but I understand your thinking...
@nancygee3137
Жыл бұрын
I been this way for two years straight and off and on since I lost my job 22 ago. I just dont have money to live. I am on disability and can't afford to live. When my dad dies, I dont know what I will do. He turns 87 in September. I have had three attempts. If I had money to live I wouldn't be this way. I lost my lawsuit and couldn't fight anymore. I lost my job, my health, my family, friends and purpose.
@voodoojimi69
2 жыл бұрын
The balancing forces is an interesting perspective. The question I find myself asking a lot is, Why I'm still here. That to me at least is more perplexing. I think part of it is my fear of failing at it, and being left worse off and on a watchlist. I've told myself to do it or don't do it but just shut up about it. Spoiler alert, it didn't work. Since 13 or 14 (I'm 45) I've wrestled with the pointlessness of my own existence. It's impossible to move forward when you constantly have thoughts that seem to come from nowhere, reminding you that you have a way out. Once you realize that you can put a stop to your pain, it's the most empowering feeling. It becomes comforting to think about your release.. It's a safe space, where the pain, the stress, the struggle becomes a choice. But its addicting. Once you see a way out, an exit,, it becomes impossible to un-see it. I embrace my mortality. I don't want to live forever. I don't want to live now. Life sucks, then you die. Why do I want to draw out the sh-tty part. Imagine being lost at sea and no hope of rescue. How long would you, could you, keep swimming? Surely not forever. At some point it becomes illogical to not accept the hopelessness of your situation. You are swimming for the sake of swimming. You are suffering for the sake of suffering. The logical thing to do is to stop swimming. To stop suffering. But suicide isn't as simple as letting go. There is an active component. You have to cut the cord. That's way more messy. There's trauma and pain for those left behind. Every day is somebody's favorite day, gruesome scenes, cleanup, etc. We pass on guilt, shame, self doubt. Suicide doesn't end the pain, it just transfers it. Is it reasonable to ask someone else to carry it to spare yourself? But remember it works both ways. And I have reasoned that suffering is a choice, if not here, in my mind at least That brings me back to my first question. What keeps me here? The simple answer is nothing. But the problem is, I still am. Sorry for my insane ramblings.
@ikewhite6832
3 жыл бұрын
My entire life I've had these thoughts. Very tiring. It just happens so quickly from good to insanely depressed.
@joyaautrey2168
4 жыл бұрын
I struggled with this for a long time. I have made two attempts and have almost attempted more times than I can remember. Both of my parents are very abusive and I don't think that they are particularly attached to me being alive. My father told me that I wasn't permitted to talk about the abuse. When I told him that if I couldn't talk about it I would end up killing myself and he said that I had a dilemma. When I told my mother that I was suicidal, she sounded bored. I ended up leaving town with out telling anyone, because my husband wanted to kill me. That took me out of that toxic environment and I don't have a problem with suicidal thoughts anymore.
@fauxstrider4018
3 жыл бұрын
I have been this way for at least 24 years without realizing it. I didn't even suspect it when I had attempted suicide again 4 months ago. It's a way out for me even thinking about it. It comes as a relief so when problems mount Im Happy to know that I'm a few minutes away from easing my pain when I close my eyes for the last time.
@lght5548
Жыл бұрын
This has the making of a meaningful college classroom lecture for young professionals entering the field. Very thoughtful and informative.
@colindeer9657
5 ай бұрын
Dr. Grande, I have found this presentation from a clinical point of view, to be extremely useful for educational clinical development . I particularly liked the strategies and techniques that can be applied to reduce the impact of negative stressors and causation factors as well as increasing positivity v such as CBT PST. Also involving the family as appropriate for the situation. A great presentation which should serve well for clinical support and success in supporting life. A positive clinical move. Many thanks Doctor.
@coralmore3568
5 жыл бұрын
Yes!! Perfect timing. Thank you!
@doubriewotsit4090
3 жыл бұрын
Well what I learned from this is definitely not to tell a clinician about my suicidal ideation as they’ll probably tell my family!!
@darkapothecary4116
9 ай бұрын
One thing I hate about suicidal thoughts is you end up in a mental ward. I keep them to myself when they happen now
@browneyedgirl1542
5 ай бұрын
Me too. Am very careful about who I tell. I’d rather be suicidal in my house
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