For more help, grab my FREE journal prompts for improving self-care and boundaries in codependency and join my community! counselingrecovery.lpages.co/codependent-worksheets/
@Minionette611
Жыл бұрын
I appreciate you. I have had a lot of emotional trauma the last couple of years and I feel more codependent than ever and it has costed me quite a bit of control over my own life. I have to get better.
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
@@Minionette611 hey Mimi! I’m so glad you found me! I have lots of resources on codependency on my website too! Just let me know what you are needing help with and I’ll help you anyway I can!
@naturalist369
9 ай бұрын
Thank you kindly . I've always been so independent with so many accomplishments I did all on my own, including moving out at age 16, putting myself through college while working etc. so I didn't see how I could be codependent . I like giving and being kind, also extending the things others in family did not extend to me. Now I found out my mother is a narcissist and I keep getting partners like her, even though she is the one whose behaviour I had to run from. I understand how this happens now & I agree establishing self trust is key as that's been insidiously stripped away along with our identity in so many ways. Recently I've experienced betrayal from the one I thought I could trust and spend my life with who acts like nothing has happened 🤯 Thank you for the self help tools, much appreciated 💜🙏🏼🎶😇🕊️💫
@naturalist369
9 ай бұрын
Good idea for making ourselves accountable to ourselves in our own personal Divine I AM Presence & Personal Safe Space ! I AM finding the I AM Affirmation Discourses by St.Germain most helpful in reclaiming our own personal power & building a loving, strong & lasting relationship with ourselves & Our Creator, all the Divine, which only leads to the deep dive introspection work needed, with built in all-powerful Angelic support always, when you ask for it, listening in stillness of mind, we can reprogram & transform ourselves for reaching our optimum, as the Universe wants, when we ask & stay connected, the Divine always answers, usually immediately when you assume a loving creative activity for yourself ! 💞 Being Kind to oneself becomes a most important priority ! Things get better from there since you can start to feel better & keep building on that, yay ! ❤❤❤🎶💃🏼🙏🏼🎶😇🕊️💫
@MichelleFarrismft
6 ай бұрын
@@naturalist369 you are so welcome! You sound like a courageous, hard working person. It gets better!!
@MsKnaz100
Жыл бұрын
I am currently focusing on “I am not responsible for other’s emotions”
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Yes!! That’s so great and will help you with boundaries!
@amyproudfoot6611
11 ай бұрын
It's a tough one 😞
@Lilith.Lenore
9 ай бұрын
I have a sticky note in my kitchen that says I am not responsible for other people's -Actions -Reactions -Fears -Behaviours -Excuses -Feelings -BULLSHIT I read it when I need to and having a few sticky notes in my kitchen with these honest reminders really helps!! You've got this! Remember it's all a process! 🖤
@Shaina_singh_amrita
4 ай бұрын
But this is not entirely true. It you are an abuser you have to be accountable for your actions and tha in that case you ARE responsible for your VICTIM'S emotions. This line is not totally true. A lot of Abusers hide behind this line and hurt everyone emotionally and walk away while leaving someone to die emotionally/physically/financially If you ARE the CAUSE of someone's misery by YOUR deliberate ACTIONS than you ARE definitely accountable for the VICTIM'S Emotions
@miranderkawalala864
3 ай бұрын
Same here. ❤ Dealing with the guilt that keeps on coming up, but I'm getting through it. I know I got this
@StephanReed1
6 ай бұрын
I’m in the “setting boundaries” & “feel your own feelings” phase of this now. It’s ROUGH. I am/was the “giver.” I’ve done so much work on figuring out why she did certain things. Only recently did I start figuring out why I am in this cycle. It’s because of my mother. She passed away when I was 18 & I always felt the need to protect. Do everything I could for this person who often felt powerless. The situation I found myself in last almost 3 years. The dynamic was great at the beginning! But the scales started to tip. I did EVERYTHING I could to help her - with work, mental health, physical health & family. She stopped growing. Her problems persisted while it took a drastic toll on me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be with her again. I don’t know if I would want to be. But I hope the absolute best for her. She couldn’t grow with me; I hope she grows without me - because I am starting to be a better person without her. Bittersweet.
@MichelleFarrismft
6 ай бұрын
Yes, it IS bittersweet and a painful yet important lesson that some people aren't meant to stay in our lives forever. Sounds like you've done some really good work on yourself!
@LG-wm1nw
9 ай бұрын
Thank you so much. I am healing from narcissistic abuse, physical, emotional, verbal, mental, and spiritual abuse.
@MichelleFarrismft
9 ай бұрын
Thanks for watching! You might find my journal prompts on healing narcissism helpful, they're in the description of this post.
@kims1912
10 ай бұрын
I attended a 12 step for codependency, but I don't like how they want you to say your name and then "codependent". I'm much more than just codependent traits that I learned. I'm a loved, cherished, child of God. I'm not going to label myself like that. I trust God to heal me of these behaviors that don't serve me well.
@MichelleFarrismft
10 ай бұрын
Interesting- I’m Al-Anon they don’t do that but every group is different. You can always decide not to do that if it makes you uncomfortable but I agree we are many things - not totally defined by our codependency. ❤️
@Christine-jg3hf
Ай бұрын
AMEN 💞🌷🌹💪🙏🙌 🙏
@cynthianewell5746
Жыл бұрын
Love your pup in the background. Very comforting. ❤
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Yeah sometimes she's right there with me! Thanks Cynthia for watching!
@wistariawhispers937
2 ай бұрын
A process of unlearning unhealthy behaviors in relationships with self and others. 1) Build solid relationship with self. 2) Learn to assess our relationships i.e., stop the fixing, neg. outweighs the positive 3) Set boundaries in all relationships 4) Feel your OWN feels, not others 5) Identify enabling behaviorsi.e., doing too muvh, fixing, control 6) finding the right support 7)do family of origin work 8) Build self-trust
@MichelleFarrismft
2 ай бұрын
Thanks for the great summary and for watching!
@nathalieprange1713
7 ай бұрын
Great video which gives solutions but also describes codependency so well!
@MichelleFarrismft
7 ай бұрын
Yes! I was aiming to give both the problem and the solution!
@C-ge9kb
Жыл бұрын
I've been doing coda 12 steps for almost 7 months now and I haven't felt like I've been doing step work in order. I've been listening to others at my therapy and becoming more and more self aware of how I have been doing things unknowingly based on fear so I've been looking deeper into myself. I have only just surrendered to the higher power, the universe. Only just releasing controlling aspects of my personality and getting a better relationship within myself. I copied it all from my mums behaviour after the break up with my dad but I think he also had some Co dependant traits and it lead to a toxic break involving kids. I love my parents and still speak to them but it's hard to heal around the people who made me this way. Hopefully soon I will see more of a change and be less frightened of intamcy. X
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thank you Catherine, yeah it's hard to look at our childhood wounds but that will make a huge difference in the long run. I love hearing that you are building a relationship with yourself! It took my many years to realize I needed that. You are doing great!
@wareforcoin5780
10 ай бұрын
I've always known there was something wrong with the way I relate to other people, I just never knew what to name it. I even know where it came from, I've already had all the memories and the revelations. Now that I know what it is, I can go about fixing it. I'm just beginning to heal from it, but I think I'll start with trusting myself. I think if I can rely on my own feelings, it'll be easier to unlearn all the horrible anxiety I have surrounding voicing my own will.
@MichelleFarrismft
10 ай бұрын
That's great that you are so eager to start recovery! I love working with codependency. I have lots of resources on it too.
@juliemcmillian6445
Жыл бұрын
That was freaking awesome!! Thank you so much for sharing this video! xoxo ❣️ 😁
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
You are so welcome! I'm SO glad it helped!
@vishasaili7431
2 ай бұрын
Detachment and self care
@MichelleFarrismft
2 ай бұрын
@@vishasaili7431 both super important!!
@ckl5801
9 ай бұрын
I think we have a lot of support on YT! ❤
@davidcalixte9785
8 ай бұрын
Jimmy is the man. What a great corner
@MichelleFarrismft
8 ай бұрын
Who is Jimmy?
@phyllisboyle1162
8 ай бұрын
Thank you. I’m subconsciously trying to hold on to a part of my mom by living with panic disorder because that’s how she lived. I haven’t had contact with her for years, but I’m struggling with this.
@MichelleFarrismft
8 ай бұрын
Have you considered Al-non or CODA? They re both free 12 step programs that are online.
@phyllisboyle1162
8 ай бұрын
@@MichelleFarrismftno. I don’t even know what CODA? How would Al Anon help my panic disorder?
@MichelleFarrismft
8 ай бұрын
@@phyllisboyle1162 since you were watching a codependency video I thought that might be connected - if not then I’d recommend therapy.
@MichelleFarrismft
8 ай бұрын
@phyllisboyle1162 Coda stands for Codependents Anonymous - a 12 step program for healing one sided relationships and self-neglect. If that is part of what’s causing the panic then it might help but therapy would be what I’d recommend for panic disorder.
@tashat60
Ай бұрын
Thank you❤
@MichelleFarrismft
Ай бұрын
@@tashat60 thanks for watching!
@Willsontime
4 ай бұрын
Co-dependent Anonymous - who would know that there would be such a thing? Thanks for good summary.
@MichelleFarrismft
4 ай бұрын
I know, I’m very grateful these programs are so accessible!
@jeffdana9402
Жыл бұрын
What are some examples of boundaries for a relationship?
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Removing yourself when someone mistreats you, saying no to something you don’t want to do, not putting up with unacceptable behavior by removing yourself. Hope those help!
@ckl5801
9 ай бұрын
Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend are the experts. I found their books at library and it changed my life!
@melissarenee6998
5 ай бұрын
Yes
@MichelleFarrismft
5 ай бұрын
You're in the right place!
@myersladies
Жыл бұрын
Love this!
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thank you Karen! I’m so glad!
@wiyaka788
Жыл бұрын
I can relate!
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Yes! You’re in the right place!
@will_Iam61
11 ай бұрын
Ditto. Wish I had found this video two years ago when I was figuring things out.
@MichelleFarrismft
11 ай бұрын
Better let than never and I do a lot on codependency so hopefully you’ll be back!
@rebecauchoa_
Ай бұрын
Yes
@MichelleFarrismft
Ай бұрын
@@rebecauchoa_ I’m so glad you found me! I have lots of videos in this topic.
@tschinzel
11 ай бұрын
Very helpful
@MichelleFarrismft
11 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@justme_brentg
11 ай бұрын
Being alone is a "one minute at a time" situation. I wish I were healthy.
@MichelleFarrismft
11 ай бұрын
I totally hear you, the withdrawal from relationship can be excruciating- I hope you have plenty of support.
@ckl5801
9 ай бұрын
It gets easier every min of every day. Focus on learning to love you.
@MichelleFarrismft
9 ай бұрын
@@ckl5801 that’s a great focus!
@JennyB957
11 ай бұрын
Thanks , watched for a friend.
@MichelleFarrismft
11 ай бұрын
How nice is that! You’re welcome!
@tonyadavies1441
Жыл бұрын
Yes
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks Tonya for watching!
@eddieagnich1875
Жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
You’re very welcome!
@apriliacess8053
3 ай бұрын
Ditto❤
@MichelleFarrismft
3 ай бұрын
Thanks so much for watching!
@ntsebotsosane983
Жыл бұрын
Yes
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching!
@hopeortiz134
4 ай бұрын
Ditto 💯
@MichelleFarrismft
4 ай бұрын
Thanks for watching!
@karlacarrington2223
Жыл бұрын
yes
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks again for watching!
@KawaiiPinkPunkStar
5 ай бұрын
How do I do the tip that comes before the bonus one?
@MichelleFarrismft
5 ай бұрын
Remind me which one that is?
@SusyV702
2 ай бұрын
Wet love eachother but I left my life and hometown behind including my young adult kids for him and almost 2 years later it still doesn’t feel right to start for yurt long run and he can’t leave his town
@SusyV702
2 ай бұрын
And yes I feel everyone’s feelings and worry about if everyone is ok
@MichelleFarrismft
2 ай бұрын
@@SusyV702 Consider getting some support - Al-Anon, Coda or She Recovers all offer free support.
@reneebishop2880
Жыл бұрын
Yes and ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks Renee!
@kimhardy5896
8 ай бұрын
The links are not working. Is there another way to get the worksheets?
@MichelleFarrismft
8 ай бұрын
Thanks - lead pages is experiencing an outage so go to my website www.counselingrecovery.com - I have theme there too.
@V82956
5 ай бұрын
Ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
5 ай бұрын
Thanks so much for being here willing to learn!
@traceyvazquez6131
4 ай бұрын
Ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
4 ай бұрын
Thanks Tracy!
@brendarose8338
Жыл бұрын
I’m going to find ME!
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Yes!!!! That’s exactly what codependency recovery will do! Help you discover you!
@brendarose8338
Жыл бұрын
I hope so, I’m stuck at bottom now I think
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
@@brendarose8338 I have some free journal prompts on self-care and figuring out boundaries if you’re interested.
@brendarose8338
Жыл бұрын
Yes please where can I find it please?
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
@@brendarose8338 here you go counselingrecovery.lpages.co/codependent-worksheets/
@lakshmiseshadri4834
Жыл бұрын
Ditto!
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching!!
@carlosmartinez9676
10 ай бұрын
ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
10 ай бұрын
Thanks Carlos! Hope you found it helpful!
@gaurs230
Жыл бұрын
Yeah a lot of stems from unmet childhood needs
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching!
@michellerivers3484
3 ай бұрын
Ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
3 ай бұрын
Thanks Michele - great name! :)
@happyhappyjoyjoy3275
Жыл бұрын
Agreed
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for taking the time to say so!
@amymotto3540
10 ай бұрын
Ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
10 ай бұрын
Thanks Amy! I’m glad you found me!
@mrbrady1981
Жыл бұрын
I’m very co dependent
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
You are in the right place! I have lots of videos and free journal prompts to help you!
@matthewjahnke6956
10 ай бұрын
Do you have a fee for counseling?
@MichelleFarrismft
10 ай бұрын
Yes but right now I'm not able to accept new clients.
@matthewjahnke6956
10 ай бұрын
@@MichelleFarrismft OK. When would be the best time? Now. I live in Houston. I would hate to having to fly from Houston to the airport and stay overnight at a motel.
@MichelleFarrismft
10 ай бұрын
@@matthewjahnke6956 sorry I can’t work with anyone who doesn’t live in California
@matthewjahnke6956
10 ай бұрын
@@MichelleFarrismft I understand.
@tomclem1
7 ай бұрын
This sounds like me
@MichelleFarrismft
7 ай бұрын
You’re not alone! Thanks for being here!
@karlacarrington2223
Жыл бұрын
ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks Karla! So glad you found my video!
@ianlacour3947
Жыл бұрын
Feeling like the only guy in here lol
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Well I'm happy that you're here! Thanks for watching!
@JulieDodgshon
Жыл бұрын
Ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks Julie!
@paulcook994
Жыл бұрын
So you say to set boundaries. You do realise that codependents mostly don't know how to do this. So how exactly am I supposed to do this when I can't do this. You make it sound like all of this is so simple without a shred of how someone who can't do any of this is supposed to do it.
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
I do understand how hard it is and that’s why I have other videos that break down how to start setting boundaries. This video is more of an overview of codependency recovery. Hope that makes sense.
@carolentringer8836
Жыл бұрын
I learned how in Al-Anon. Also books like Boundaries, Safe People, Co-Dependent No More, Changes that Heal
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
@@carolentringer8836 YES! That' wonderful!! Al-Anon is a lifesaver for so many of us!
@moniquesbeautylifeover50
Жыл бұрын
Yes. 🩷
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks Monique! So glad you found me!
@JoshAronoff
6 ай бұрын
Wow! “I wanted to work on my relationships more than I wanted to work on myself” so true for me.
@MichelleFarrismft
6 ай бұрын
Yep, that's really the heart of codependency. :)
@airmatic6719
Жыл бұрын
Yes
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching!
@phyllisappenzeller5673
2 ай бұрын
Ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
2 ай бұрын
Thanks for watching Phyllisa!
@erinmorris8822
9 ай бұрын
Ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
9 ай бұрын
Thanks for watching!
@joekilroy2965
Жыл бұрын
Ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
YAY! You're not alone!
@lizedbf7334
5 ай бұрын
Setting boundaries is useless. The relations you have now at this moment will not acknowledge these boundaries. They are used to walking all over you. I had to quit my job, leave my narcisissit husband and narcisissit father and i had to leave everyone and everything behind except my daughter. I now live in a small campervan with my early retirement pension. It's not easy, i have very little money but finally i'm no longer a slave or a robot. I am living my life ... finally 😊
@MichelleFarrismft
5 ай бұрын
Yes with narcissists boundaries are typically not respected at all. I'm glad you took care of yourself and I'm sorry it's been a struggle.
@miranderkawalala864
3 ай бұрын
Love this for you ❤
@MichelleFarrismft
3 ай бұрын
@@miranderkawalala864 thanks Miranda for watching and showing up for some healing!
@realestatecoach8626
2 ай бұрын
Praise God!
@MichelleFarrismft
2 ай бұрын
@@realestatecoach8626 Thank you for watching!
@mareehutchin2702
Жыл бұрын
Realising I’m very codependent… especially regarding finances… I expect other people will take care of me because I don’t trust myself to take care of myself financially
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
That’s s great awareness Maree. Great work!
@desidarocha6650
Жыл бұрын
Codependency hurts so bad . It’s just such an agony
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Yes, it does -have you considered checking out Al-Anon? It's a free support group for codependency related to addiction.
@domingo3632
6 ай бұрын
it is
@paul8731
Ай бұрын
Agreed. Funny thing is that living outside of codependency is so much easier and freer. But the default behaviour learnt in childhood is hard to break out of, making life and relationships so hard and painful. Wishing you a peaceful recovery, you are worth it ❤
@Andy-mm2us
4 ай бұрын
The pattern throughout my adult life tends to be, obviously because I am here, I keep choosing the same type of relationship. But the other pattern is that once I recover and find myself again I immediately lose myself once I get into a relationship. In finding myself after a relationship I spend all this time and effort becoming a well-rounded individual but the second I couple with someone I give all of that away and try and become “everything” for the relationship. I so easily give myself away and when I don’t get that same effort in return, I become empty and resentful.
@MichelleFarrismft
4 ай бұрын
Have you considered checking out Al-Anon or Coda? Both of them deal with issues of codependency.
@jenniferrackham8107
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for putting this out to the world. Today I am bawling because my alcoholic husband doesn’t think he needs help. I can feel the pain deep inside of him and it scares me. Building self trust and going to al-anon are my next steps. My brain keeps going to my marriage relationship instead of going to me first and healing there. This video opened my eyes. Thank you, Michelle
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks Jennifer, my heart goes out to you. I know it's so hard when others don't seek help but I'm really glad that YOU are going to help yourself in Al-Anon. You are on the right track! One day at a time, it will get better especially with that extra support!
@brendarose8338
Жыл бұрын
Hope you’re doing better x
@jacquelinegrace3
Жыл бұрын
@jenniferrackham8107 Thank you Jennifer for thanking Michelle! ❤ because my alcoholic husband doesn’t think he needs help either! And I too can feel his deep pain and insecurities…💔❤️🩹 my heart goes out to you and your husband! And my thanks to Michelle! I just found her!❤ My 6 mos in AlAnon was eye opening! But week after week the folks only looked backward in pain and frustration, focused on the alcoholic. As the program began to help me, I started to wonder when our circle would begin to focus on ourselves? OUR interests. OUR fun plans. But it never did. Always about the sick one. So I stopped going. I’d like a coda group. 😢
@gillianmountford4942
7 ай бұрын
Hope he feels he needs help eventually Good luck and Karma for yourself!
@gillianmountford4942
7 ай бұрын
@@jacquelinegrace3 Good point- Looking at/ to the future…
@colettesmith5891
Жыл бұрын
This has bought tears to my eyes. The realization I am a codependent. Now I know, I can work on this. Thank you, you're very kind x
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Yeah, this is not easy but you are in the right place :)
@colettesmith5891
Жыл бұрын
@@MichelleFarrismft Thank you so much for replying,🙏. It's really not going to be easy, I'm 49 and only just excepted my childhood. I have had 2 relationship's with a narcissist and it's all finally making sense. I will work on this, I'm determined. You have really helped me and I am so grateful 🙏
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely- you are not alone in this!
@colettesmith5891
Жыл бұрын
@@MichelleFarrismft Thank you. You're doing a great service x
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
@@colettesmith5891 yay!! That makes me so happy!
@boitumelomasipa4990
10 ай бұрын
I've spent hours and hours wondering what is wrong with me and why I have to help everyone I come across, even if a small part of me doesn't actually want to help. I didn't know what to call it…
@MichelleFarrismft
10 ай бұрын
Well that is a huge step - knowing what the problem is! I'm SO glad you found me. I have lots of resources on my website too :)
@aprilplacek9264
Жыл бұрын
It’s definitely a recovery process and breaking the habit of trying to cater to everyone else’s emotions. They will get ok while I’m over here needing more Botox
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Lol! Yeah I know we go through a lot don’t we? Thankfully recovery helps a whole lot!
@courtneysigler5984
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video. Really just finding out I’m co dependent and wondered why my relationships were awful and I felt awful everyday. Connecting the dots finally. This was helpful
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Good for you! I have lots of free resources listed in the description too.
@amandablake4691
Жыл бұрын
yes and ditto! and thank you so much Xxx this has been really helpful, and such an important guide to start healing and moving forwards. Xxx
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks Amanda! I'm glad it helped! If you have any topics requests, let me know! I love sharing on codependency!
@sweepstakesluvr
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for being you. I always love your content. I'm learning how to set boundaries and evaluating what relationships I want to keep and which ones need to end.
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thank YOU! That means a lot to me - I hope you consider joining my email community so I can help you even more!
@mrswb3630
Жыл бұрын
Cute puppy chilling out in the background ❤
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thank you, she is pretty old now but loves to be right there when I’m filming. Thanks for watching!
@destiniandhaley
Жыл бұрын
You have hit me perfectly. Boundaries. I am working hard on these! Thank you! ❤
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
I hope it was a gentle nudge! ❤️
@MariaM-qq6kv
2 ай бұрын
7 Key Elements to Recovery Unlearning dyfunctional behaviours learned in childhood Relationships + Relationship with self 1. Build a healthy/solid relationship with yourself 2. Assess your relationships, do the negatives far outweigh the positives? 3. Set boundaries in your relationships, help us honour our own boundaries and needs 4. Feel your own feelings, you feel others feelings other than our own. Your body is where your feelings get stored. We can make dangerous assumptions of others 5. Address and identify enabling and controlling behaviours. We only have control of ourselves not others 6. Finding the right support. Al-anon meetings, Life Coach, Therapist, coda 7. Do your family of origin work. Pain of the past, childhood abuse and trauma Building Self Trust, Intuition - Journal
@MichelleFarrismft
2 ай бұрын
Thank you - that's a great summary!
@Sunshine-eq2zs
Жыл бұрын
This is very helpful. Thank you for sharing!
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
You are so welcome Dee!
@Itzanunnya2019
7 ай бұрын
"Stop feeling other people's pain"........
@MichelleFarrismft
7 ай бұрын
Yep, that's the goal! Thanks for watching Jennifer!
@jonathanstewart9161
6 ай бұрын
Its like codependancy is the polar opposite to the narccissist? I guess this is why narccissists always seem to be in a relationship with a co dependant person? We fuel them? Thank you for the video, I have just realised that the psychologist I was seeing fortnightly was trying to get me to do exactly what you are saying to do to recover from co dependancy. Why didnt he just tell me I am co dependant? I have exited a 17 year marriage nearly 2 years now, the lonelyness is a killer but I have started to take up hobbies I used to have as a kid. But I still feel empty and struggle with self worth, validating my feelings and even listening to them. Its a long road to recovery 😔
@MichelleFarrismft
6 ай бұрын
Sounds like you are doing a lot of good work. Actually narcissism isn't the opposite though it may seem like it :) - they both need external approval but seek it in different ways. Thanks for watching!
@BlindfoldSniper
Жыл бұрын
Hi Michelle. I come from this as a person that has mostly healed from codependency and this is a way of me checking up. Very important as I have (largely through the help of online therapists such as yourself) mostly done this all on my own. I know you wouldn't recommend it and I agree in the main, but I am an INFJ so I'm actually quite willing to be self-reflective and introspective once I intentionally choose to focus on my own problems instead of others around me. This has helped a great deal and part of the reason why I was able to instinctively navigate the onslaught of difficult emotions that I'd kept repressed and hidden for decades. While I have managed to overcome a veritable laundry list of issues I still see there are parts of me that are needing encouragement. Fortunately I now do all of those things you have mentioned in this video. I have finally rescued that broken child with the wounds of abandonment, neglect, guilt, shame, people-pleasing and anxious attachment. I still see that I have yet to trust myself fully with this new mindset (which is liberating in any case) and do worry as to how I'll navigate life and relationships at the other end, but I'm more than aware of the boundaries I need to set and that includes this relationship I have with myself. Thanks for the clarity you bring to this subject and know that your approach to it will definitely help people to heal.
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
I admire you for doing so much work on your own - few can do that but I agree that it IS possible. Self-trust is a MAJOR key - so I hear you there. I created a journal on that too if you're interested. Thanks so much for watching and taking the time to comment and share your story.
@JohnyW.HamiltonNguyen
Ай бұрын
I finally feel like i can trust myself not to do drugs ...im taking therapy and rehabilation and my relationship with my sister is healthy, self rewarding, and determination to gain trust
@MichelleFarrismft
Ай бұрын
@@JohnyW.HamiltonNguyen that’s great Johny!
@daydream1066
Жыл бұрын
I am just now admitting to myself I am very codependent in close friendships… which I think stems from my codependent relationship with my mom (which she admits to) and my separation anxiety stuff 😅 It even comes at the sacrifice to self preservation. I literally had an allergic reaction to eating lobster and said NOTHING for over over an hour as it progressively got worse. Why? Because I didn’t want my friend to freak out or be a burden 🤦♀️. I was getting a migraine, my tongue and neck was swelling up, and I felt electric down my limbs as my nervous system was shutting down but chose to say nothing. When I really needed a Benadryl and medical attention. Needless to say this would have been kept a secret from my friend but my mom forced me to tell her. My friend was very angry with me that I basically could have died and yet chose to do nothing 😅. And no longer am I allowed to try new foods in her presence because new allergies have emerged and I am not trust worthy in telling people I need help. So I need help I admit it now, I need to stop this need to be needed because it is driving me crazy! And it’s not okay.
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Oh my...I'm so glad you are okay. I agree that speaking up is CRITICAL for you. You might consider Al-Anon al-anon.org
@danrudolph317
Жыл бұрын
Really good stuff. This had taught me that a relationship only enhances the way I already feel.
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Oh that is SO true and very wise!
@nelliemoore3792
Жыл бұрын
Yes
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
You're not alone Nellie!
@christabellahimbazwa3933
10 ай бұрын
This is 100% me right there 😢
@MichelleFarrismft
10 ай бұрын
I’m so glad you could relate!
@through.a.barrel.she.breathes
5 ай бұрын
This has been really helpful, and such an important guide to start healing and moving forward.
@MichelleFarrismft
5 ай бұрын
Thank you for watching and saying so :)
@asmaezerouali4678
Жыл бұрын
I found out that i am a real co dependt ...my last relationship wasn't that bad and i feel guilty to have a desire that I want to save... especially that the person is helpful and supportive..he knows my problems
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
You are in the right place! I have lots of videos and free resources to help you heal codependency 😀
@amiellenberg1037
Жыл бұрын
yes. ditto. thank you.
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thank you Ami!!!
@sharonchoinski8076
Жыл бұрын
Ditto
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks Sharon!
@nelliemoore3792
Жыл бұрын
Hello Michelle, thank you for amazing talk, I heard a lot like this in the past however your help re talks have opened my inner eyes , after a long time. Kind regards (Nellie) Natalie
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thank you Nellie, I really strive to provide helpful tips that are easy to follow :)
@rickm6232
15 күн бұрын
This is me living with my father :( This has led to my stress and anxiety! You are spot on. This is so overwhelming.
@MichelleFarrismft
15 күн бұрын
There are resources that can help - like Al-Anon and Coda - they offer free online support groups. coda.org al-anon.org
@hannahryder961
Жыл бұрын
I've recently discovered I'm codependent. My boyfriend wants space from our relationship whilst I work on it. Your links are US based and I'm in the UK. Do you know any that may work for me? Thanks
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
My links should work outside of the US - have you looked at my codependency workbook? I'm sure its in the description of this post. It includes some very short videos. I'm also releasing an online course on codependency soon. :)
@ckl5801
9 ай бұрын
I hope you are in a good space!
@cassiestevens8382
Жыл бұрын
Thanks💕
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
You're welcome 😊
@sherribuchi
2 ай бұрын
Ditto
@tuffcoalition
19 сағат бұрын
Great info
@MichelleFarrismft
15 сағат бұрын
@@tuffcoalition thank you!
@kayleegomez6372
Жыл бұрын
Hey I need help. I don’t know why I have a hard time expressing and feeling my emotions. I feel like I’m always overreacting or at times I don’t know if I am or reacting just fine
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Well your feelings are valid no matter what! You might consider therapy to uncover what’s underneath that. You might try journaling - I have a self-trust journal that focuses on building self-trust/self-esteem.
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Or you could try Alanon for support and learning more about yourself. It’s a free program for people struggling with codependency 😀
@phyllisappenzeller5673
2 ай бұрын
Indeed I thought I did intil my sisters both got dementia
@MichelleFarrismft
2 ай бұрын
I'm sorry, many of my aunts and uncles have struggled with that too.
@phyllisappenzeller5673
2 ай бұрын
Indeed I thought I did intil my sisters both got dementia
@MichelleFarrismft
2 ай бұрын
@@phyllisappenzeller5673 I’m sorry to hear that but I’m not sure what you meant but I thought I did.
@kirstenschweikert7181
2 ай бұрын
Very good explained. Thank you.
@MichelleFarrismft
2 ай бұрын
Thanks Kirsten! I appreciate that!
@fondacormier4773
Ай бұрын
Great Information. Thank you!
@MichelleFarrismft
Ай бұрын
@@fondacormier4773 you’re very welcome!
@BMILBOCKER10
Жыл бұрын
This is amazing! Step 1: build an amazing relationship with and date yourself! Amen ❤
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Yes! Befriending yourself helps to decrease our unhealthy dependency on others.
@BMILBOCKER10
Жыл бұрын
@@MichelleFarrismft I love this and it’s so empowering!
@BMILBOCKER10
Жыл бұрын
@@MichelleFarrismft I never realized I did not love myself or truly even know myself before. Even though it’s a painful journey at times leaving an abusive relationship I am grateful that it is giving me this gift! I love your videos you are so talented at what you do and I am so grateful for your time and knowledge and understanding as well as hope! ❤️ thank you!
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
@@BMILBOCKER10 thank you! Watch out for my video tomorrow on codependency and anger.
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
@@BMILBOCKER10 you are so courageous! I’m honored to be a part of your journey!
@gtohenry6469
Жыл бұрын
ditto 😕
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for participating!! We are not alone right?
@gtohenry6469
Жыл бұрын
@@MichelleFarrismft We are not, thank you for all you do! Have been in Coda and now in therapy, thank you again for all you have posted!
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
@@gtohenry6469 that’s awesome!!!
@samspira2394
Жыл бұрын
Yes
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching Sam!
@Ebspired
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this ❤
@MichelleFarrismft
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely, you’ll probably find this one helpful too! 5 Ways to Start Recovering from Codependency in Relationships kzitem.info/news/bejne/pqx3nX2LrXekdno
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