For questions to be answered in the comments, please give a "super thanks" or head over to my website & ask there. 𝕊𝕜𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕆𝕗 𝔸𝕥𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 Men's Advice Community: soa.fm Private relationship/dating coaching: soa.fm/dating-relationship-coaching/ Questions or feedback: soa.fm/contact/ ✔ SOA APPROVED COACHING PROGRAMS 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 How To Get A Sex Buddy: bit.ly/3Mitohu 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗿 Turn a Girl Friend into a Girlfriend: bit.ly/3Kf9EJt 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗮𝗼 𝗢𝗳 𝗕𝗮𝗱𝗮𝘀𝘀 How To Attract ANY Woman: bit.ly/35Jyx0W 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝘅 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 Get The Sex Life You Deserve: bit.ly/3K9bI5V
@mousehead2000
4 жыл бұрын
I learnt this from a cat. I used to pick my flat-mate's cat up and put it on my bed for company. Cat would run straight out. Run after it. Pick it up. Out it ran. Over and over again. One day. I said, fuck it. I ain't chasing that cat no more. Some days later, I was lying on my bed reading and the cat came and sat outside my door. I ignored it. The very next day it came and sat just inside my room. Again I ignored it. Day after that, the cat was half way in my room until eventually it was sleeping by my side whilst I read. Best (dating) lesson i ever learnt and I put it into practice with women to the same effect. That is a true story.
@KingOfNeptune_
4 жыл бұрын
That was poetic, thank you.
@sloebone7399
3 жыл бұрын
It’s the difference between forcing the cat to be with you and allowing the cat to decide where it wants to be.
@jasiahbenedict828
3 жыл бұрын
You probably dont care at all but does anybody know a trick to log back into an Instagram account? I was stupid lost the password. I would appreciate any tips you can offer me
@jamestacular
2 жыл бұрын
Ha I was literally thinking of this analogy with my own cat yesterday
@taje017
2 жыл бұрын
That was a masterpiece
@mayorofthenonsense
3 жыл бұрын
Do nothing. Don't overthink it, don't try and fix it. It cannot be fixed. Outwait and outwit. They always come back, but only if you show them that you don't need them - which you don't, because you're a man.
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@johnn.marshall4566
7 ай бұрын
💯
@ketobodybuilder2482
3 күн бұрын
They confuse need /needy with love. Often. Smh. I dont need you i want you
@mwloos1
4 жыл бұрын
It’s nice to hear that this happens to all men because when you’re in the thick of it, you think you’re the only one this happens to. Especially when she pulls away and starts talking to a new guy. You think the new guy is this perfect dude, but it’s just a matter of time before she does it to him as well.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yup! Unfortunately it's just female nature. The good news is, if you handle it well she won't be pulled away for long & she'll most likely have little to no interest in that other guy.
@mayorofthenonsense
3 жыл бұрын
If she ignores you, then you ignore her. If she chats to other dudes, you chat to other girls. If all the other guys around her are focusing on her - but you are not, then that makes you special and valuable to her. Less is more.
@maxmwegerano7400
2 жыл бұрын
@@mayorofthenonsense That made absolutely no sense big fella. Somebody has to talk or either y'all done.
@rrwa7052
Жыл бұрын
@@maxmwegerano7400no dude. You have to let her initiate contact once it starts.
@HYITHO
4 жыл бұрын
Sometimes you just wonder, is it really worth the effort with women?
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Women aren't the problem, they've always been this way. The problem is that society, media, religion has conditioned us to behave a certain way with women & it was all a lie. Now, people like me are trying to help men recondition themselves to the truth. You will be a better man this way; not just with women, but with life in general. Yes, it will take some work, but as men this is our cross to bear; we must always be improving ourselves, conquering weakness & turning ourselves into an unstoppable force. This will bring you confidence. This will make you strong. This will make you happy.
@sloebone7399
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction - Women have changed immensely and so has our society. Men have a lot to figure out these days including if it’s even worth the effort. It’s a legitimate question.
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@sloebone7399 No, women haven't changed...society has. You can adapt & be happy, or you can rid yourself of a basic human need. Only you can answer your question.
@freevids6541
2 жыл бұрын
What good things in life come easy? The reality is getting the beautiful women nowadays will require change strengthen our character knowledge pain failure. This is what we are running from
@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT
2 жыл бұрын
No
@thebeardbeastx
8 ай бұрын
Them pulling away is a gift. I love the silence and time to go off and have fun on my own
@SkillofAttraction
8 ай бұрын
Good way to look at it...
@ketobodybuilder2482
3 күн бұрын
Problem is when they pull away and desire another man
@thebeardbeastx
2 күн бұрын
@ketobodybuilder2482 there never yours just your turn. Why I never fall harder then they fall for you
@ketobodybuilder2482
2 күн бұрын
@@thebeardbeastx just sucks when its your wife
@thebeardbeastx
2 күн бұрын
@@ketobodybuilder2482 I know the feeling been there. Mad respect
@The_ayoosh
4 жыл бұрын
Dating is not easy anymore! She pulls away, he pulls away. Both playing games and may lose a true love!
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
In most cases it's not really games. Women typically pull away because they're not feeling it in that movement. And I instruct men to turn their attention elsewhere during this time. It's when it's being done out of passive-progressiveness, or as a way to get the other to chase, that it becomes games. However, either way, if your partner stops putting in the effort, trying to force it will only make the situation worse. Let them come to you when they want your attention.
@marcvslicinivscrassvs7536
4 жыл бұрын
This guy is legit. Love his straight to the point delivery. We make these mistakes when we don't have anything going on in our lives other than work and the woman. We need to have our own rotation of women. When you have a rotation, you don't even realize that you haven't talked to one of the women for a few weeks or even months. But when you see her, things are always fresh. In fact, she will like you even more. It usually takes a woman at least a year for her to detach from her own roster before committing to you. It's a natural process. This is how it was in my 20s. I didn't know I was doing this. It was just the way life was. It's just hard for me to get it now that I am middle aged and have slowed down. But, back to what worked for me in my 20s.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks man! Yes, this type of stuff happens typically when you don't have much going on in your life you become too focused on the woman & the relationship. Women sense this & they pull away. Believe it or not, woman want a man who has purpose in his life where he's not so focused on her.
@holleringsmith3837
2 жыл бұрын
I’m in this EXACT situation right now and almost everything you described sounds like my situation perfectly. I’m gonna do my best to give her time and space and we’ll see how things go. I gotta be honest, it feels like she’s done with me and I don’t have much hope, but chasing her isn’t going to bring her back either. Here’s to hoping for the best.
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
I can't tell you how many times I thought a relationship was over because a girl was being super distant...& it was just temporary. I'm not saying that your relationship is NOT over, but it's very possible that she just needs some space & to feel your distance. When it comes to women, always remember that you must occasionally give her the gift of missing you.
@holleringsmith3837
2 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction Thanks for the reply man! My situation is a unique one in that her and I work together and we’ll be forced to see each other at least in passing. Should I ignore her completely? Or at least smile and acknowledge her whenever we see each other? I just want to give this the best chance to work out if it’s salvageable. Also how long does it usually take for her to initiate before you can safely know it’s over? Sorry for all the questions but I could use any advice I can get and you seem to know exactly what you’re talking about
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
@@holleringsmith3837 Don't ignore her, but don't initiate either...besides a smile or a wave. You want to come across as somewhat unaffected by her distance while giving her space. I would also give yourself your own time limit for this, meaning; give her, say, two weeks (or any time you want) & if she doesn't come back by then, consider it over & start moving on. Men rarely get closure, so try not to seek that out. It makes you come across as much more confident, which will put you in a better position with her for the future. For future reference on questions, please see the pinned comment.
@SkillofAttraction
Жыл бұрын
@Randall Glatt Ignoring her is unnecessary unless she is disrespectful. If you ignore a girl because she pulled away it shows that she can get an emotional reaction out of you. Be unfazed.
@laurencegoodwin4047
9 ай бұрын
Hey , you’re not alone , it’s very testing , frustrating and painful but you must must keep your emotions under control, remain centered and focus on yourself, I’m in a similar position right now , 5 mins ago she’s telling me how much she loves me and then nothing for up to a week, I don’t chase, just check in a ask if she’s okay and leave it , nothing you can do
@marcvslicinivscrassvs7536
4 жыл бұрын
That's why you have to always have at least one other option at all times.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Exactly! Knowing that you have options makes all this SO much easier.
@Freerydah73
2 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction But what if you’re already exclusive and this happens
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
@@Freerydah73 I assume you mean "pulling away"? It's really handled the same way. However, when it comes to options & you're in an exclusive relationship, it doesn't (necessarily) mean that you have other girlfriends in the background. It just means that you're confident in knowing that you can relatively easily get back out into the dating market. In this video I talk about a good way to convey that you have options to both your girl & to yourself: kzitem.info/news/bejne/zmehtp2PjH6CpJg
@smallcap7473
4 жыл бұрын
Ugh! I've done all of these at one time or another. Thanks for all you do!
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
We've all been there to some extent.
@birdwayne4358
4 жыл бұрын
He's teaching us how to be an alpha male and my attention is %100 on u great man talk this helped me out alot
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, you're exactly right! I'm glad you're learning something! Once you begin to apply this stuff to your own game, you will begin to notice things change in your favor. Just be strong & patient.
@birdwayne4358
4 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction thanks man
@youtubefan9882
4 жыл бұрын
110% right coach.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks, man!
@lilibelle9625
3 жыл бұрын
I am a woman I pull away because I validated the guy enough and then I just want to feel validated if he goes on with a big ego not initiating I will pull way I am still keen not not enough if the cones genuinely apologising and showing interest then I will give him a chance and will invest again ... feel it should be balanced
@AppJunkey
3 жыл бұрын
There’s actually the best video on this subject I’ve ever seen thank you
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@ryanmse30
4 жыл бұрын
Thank u perfect timing. My new girl was chasing hard. then her friend got stabbed by her boyfriend, now my girl scared of men. She goes to the funeral and don't trust right now. I'm on NC, charging it to the game for now.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Something seems fishy about that (her not trusting men any longer). Either way, I do recommend that you stick to NC until she reaches out. Like I said in this video, if she loves you, if she values you, if she misses you...she'll be back.
@Hummel5006
4 жыл бұрын
Coach I so wish I could’ve found this stuff out years ago. The main thing I’ve learned is to not try to figure out what is going on, girls can go hot and cold from minute to minute. Even recently I went back through text to see it was something I said. You will literally drive yourself insane trying to find out why your girlfriend or some girl your talking to goes cold a day or two. Just chalk it up for what it’s worth and back off and let her talk when she’s ready. It’s really the only thing you can do
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, you're exactly right! While it can be important to be cognizant of where her attraction levels are at (low attraction = you're too invested or not invested enough -- high attraction = you're currently the bee's knees...whatever you're doing, keep it up because she absolutely loves you), being too focused on that will drive you crazy & most likely cause her attraction to drop (over invested). This is one of the many reasons why it's so important that you have purpose & independence outside the relationship; when she pulls away you have somewhere to turn your focus. A woman's attraction levels can be volatile. Think of the day charts of the stock market; it's unpredictably up & down. She will act based on how she's feeling emotionally in that particular moment, which is always subject to change. It's best to learn to accept that she will come & go (hot & cold) as she pleases & there's nothing you can do to stop it. Think of her behavior like a cat; when you chase a cat, it runs & hides & won't come near you. But, when you just go about your business & not worry about the cat, you will soon find the cat hopping into your lap & purring. Women operate very similar.
@shawnh2651
4 жыл бұрын
I agree David, I recently did the same thing lol lol. Going through texts to see if it was something I did or said, but all was good. Strange how they are. Life experience I suppose.
@splitzyentertainment7995
2 жыл бұрын
@@shawnh2651 did she contact you in the end
@rasheemthebestfirstone3274
Жыл бұрын
@@shawnh2651she contact you?
@nolagospeltracts8264
4 жыл бұрын
yeah, that kind of stuff just happens out of nowhere. I failed the test many times.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, we've all failed that test..numerous times.
@blogbybryan
4 жыл бұрын
Glad to be a subscriber! This was so perfect! I saw your old video on this subject and just chilled. She was back in 3 days. She is still a little weird but she can chase as far as I am concerned.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
There's no way to know which direction a woman's emotions are going to go; they're always in flux. This is one of the many reasons it's important for men to have purpose in their lives. When you're focused on your purpose, you won't be so focused on what she is or is not doing, which gives her the time & space to come to you on her own, at her own pace. She will be more attracted to you & love you more for it, just as long as you make time for her where you can be 100% present. As it stands now, just continue to allow her to come to you. When she does, arrange a date. It might take her a few days to completely warm up, especially if this is not your typical behavior. So, just be patient. It's been working for you so far. Thanks for the sub, btw!
@silkroad1201
Жыл бұрын
It's not childish to walk away from a relationship that doesn't bring you happiness. The best love I ever had passed away, but she never once pulled away from me in the entire 7 years I had with her. It's never wrong to ditch something fake in search of something real
@SkillofAttraction
Жыл бұрын
Not at all childish. kzitem.info/news/bejne/yIycmHaBp4tymH4
@leonardofiallos7551
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you 🙏🏽 . Perfect timing 😊
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Glad you found it when you did!
@theguynextdoor4978
3 жыл бұрын
When a woman tests us, less is more when it comes to actions. If she pulls away, She pulls away? pull away too UNTIL she reaches out. Women even "break up" to test men, to see how they handle it. I usually set her free, tell her that I honor her choice, and lets her go. I wish I had a dollar for every time she came back. Like the band Motörhead (RIP Lemmy) once sang: The chase is better than the catch!
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, on point! Let them go...& they almost ALWAYS come back. Letting go demonstrates confidence & that's what she wants to know..."is he confident, or will he fall apart emotionally?"
@theguynextdoor4978
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction yes. It’s even unconsciously done, so there’s no point asking her why she pulls away. They often can’t answer why they do what they do. I usually think: nice try honey, wanna play the pull away game? Let’s roll! Come back when you’re done.
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@theguynextdoor4978 Right. Sometimes women don't even realize they're pulling away. They're just following their emotions & instinct.
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@theguynextdoor4978 A client the other day just confirmed this...he asked his girl about her distance & she laughed, not even realizing she had been distant.
@ravindran8838
4 жыл бұрын
Amazing 🙌🏽 you have no idea how much your videos made me a better man, not only towards that one girl but generally 💪🏽
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
That's great! Keep up the good work!
@TheBalaskas
4 жыл бұрын
This is 100% true. This is exactly what Im going through right now. We are not in a relationship yet, but we are already really close to each other. She did this to me once already, it was hell for me. One night I couldn't even sleep because of this. I was thinking of texting her something mean or just leave her, because she was sooo in to me and then all the sudden she turned cold on me and I know that she spends all her time online 0-24, so that bothered me even more. I asked her via text if she still wants to talk or should we end it (I asked her nicely), and after that she gave me that crazy kind of attraction again! And now she is doing the same thing again. We had that crazy attraction a few days ago, but all the sudden she turned cold on me again. This time though, I'm feeling so much more calm and confident, because I know, I didn't do anything wrong and I have a lot of stuff to do in my life, so I won't panic anymore, if she's going to do this to me again! Thanks!
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
This is just women, because they follow their emotions they are feeling in that particular moment, which is always subject to change. So, you're doing the right thing by just remaining calm & giving her the time & space to come to you when she's ready. If she truly values you, she WILL be back. For future reference, don't ever ask a woman if she wants to end it or if she still wants to continue. This makes you come across as indecisive & making her the leader. These are both turn-offs for women. They want a decisive, confident man who takes the lead.
@claytonbigsby9673
2 жыл бұрын
Been through that…no thank you I move on….put up with that for what?? It’s not like she’s going to be a faithful housewife cooking and being caring etc…just a pointless rollercoaster til she find another dude….woman pull away…I lose interest and move on..”nice knowing you too sweetheart” 👋
@dragonstarm3619
4 жыл бұрын
As a woman I agree...👍. Was just curious on what the other side was saying
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching!
@mutechannel13
4 жыл бұрын
This is Good. I get tested all the time.... I always fail too.... I dont chase women. I feel like if they need me then I'm there but I can stand on my own.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks man! Yes, testing can be difficult, but once you understand them they become easier after some practice. A great book to understand how women test in detail is called, "What Women Want When They Test Men": amzn.to/3cdiVkK
@guilbertmansueto6516
2 жыл бұрын
guys this man is legit no cap , i tried all of his advice things went actually well
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
Yes, it works! It can be emotionally difficult at times, but it absolutely works. I'm glad that you got the opportunity to try it & it ultimately worked out!
@jjtru21
4 жыл бұрын
this episode describes my current situation. Haven’t heard from her in almost a month. I showed a little sentiment for her and adios. Haven’t caved though; just letting it be.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Wow! She's harsh. Went ghost just because you shared a little feelings? I would assume that either you shared feelings too soon or she just wasn't into you that much; or both. Either way, you're doing the right thing. Though, I do recommend that after a month without hearing from her that you get back out there & begin dating again.
@lecomtedeneuch9994
3 жыл бұрын
Hey coach so hear me out : I met a nice girl on my first day at University : She asked me out for coffee and gave me her number just after we met. I texted her first after that, since she made the first move. After that, I began slowly but she showed high interest very fast so I mirrored it too and I began to feel for her. She was playful, sweet, always a smile on her face, incredible eyes when we were speaking, always mirroring my body language and played with her hair and she would always sit right next to me. But I revealed too much of my game and she then asked me this question : Is it ambiguous between us or Is it something you wanna tell me ? I was like well here goes nothin, she clearly wants to see if I weigh my balls, so yeah I told her I like her and I want to see where this is going. And she said to me : I don't see it like that and walked away. So 2 days later, she comes to me again and while being nervous, she told me It wasn't true what she told me but she doesn't know how to feel around me, she said it was too much good vibes, and it scares her and she needed time and space to sort things out. So after that, I became a bit needy, nervous and she saw that. The last day I saw her was on 30th of October and after that, we're now stuck at home. She ghosted me now for 3 weeks. I'm really hurt and I don't feel respected. I mean she liked me, but if she lost interest after that. So that's it then ...
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
It sounds like you were too overt in expressing your like for her, too soon. That caused her to question her growing attraction for you, because all the mystery & challenge was gone; she didn't have to work for it any longer. And when she needed some timer & space, you got needy, which turned her off further. The best thing you can do now is just leave her be, move on with your life, & if she truly values you, she will be back.
@lecomtedeneuch9994
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction Thanks Coach ! I appreciate your time for responding to me. I wish you all the best.
@taje017
2 жыл бұрын
@@lecomtedeneuch9994 did she ever got back to you , how did it work out ?
@Wirnax
4 жыл бұрын
Hi coach! I’ve been dating this girl for 2 months. It was all good. Last week she was at my place and she was all over me. But during this weekend she went cold and distant but she had a reasonable excuse for this. So it’s been week since we last seen each other ( I asked her out 2 times ) but now there is a big problem with the corona virus and we won’t be able to see each other for at least 2 weeks. 4 days since we last texted and my last message is “Let me know when you free so we can get together”. The thing is we have no idea when we gonna be able to see each other because of the epidemic of corona virus...
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Well in this case, since it's an extreme situation (corona virus), I recommend to reach out to her just one time to see how she's doing during all this. Then just try to keep the conversation playful, but rather short. Then let her reach out to you next.
@ThePunis-Her
4 жыл бұрын
Dated a girl, gourgeous. Ghosted me for 4 or 5 weeks. I dont care! Im a catch!
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
That's the right attitude!
@lecomtedeneuch9994
3 жыл бұрын
I'm on the 3rd week of Ghosting. Fuck it, I'm no simp ! And we're stuck at home, see who will get bored alone faster
@emilybanire1050
3 жыл бұрын
For how long have you dated her?
@leeingram709
4 жыл бұрын
First of all, thank you for sending this link to me, much appreciated. And again in this video, you have answered a lot of questions, which relates to my current situation in my long-term relationship. I must admit, I have made a few mistakes already ie expressing my deep love for her, going out to buy her favourite alcoholic drink and finally I did say to her she hasn’t been acting the same, not being affectionate etc. However, these seem to be common mistakes made by men, so I am in good company lol. My approach at the moment is to sit back, focus on myself, and let her miss me.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, all of those things, while subtle, will communicate to a woman that she more or less has you. When a woman feels that she has you there's no reason (in her kind) to continue working for you; therefore, she typically becomes cold &/or distant, sometimes losing all attraction. Her having to continue earning your heart keeps her engaged & invested, ultimately doing whatever she can to make you feel loved & validated in order to win you over. It's ok to do nice things for her, but do them when she's investing in you, & even then you want to invest in her just a little less than she's investing in you. It's counter-intuitive, but this 'uneven' balance is actually the perfect balance to keep her interest. Now, she most likely broke-up with you because you have conveyed through your actions that she has you & she wants to see if she does. If you chase after her it will confirm her suspicions. If you turn your attention elsewhere, as you're planning, it will hopefully communicate to her that maybe he was wrong & now she must try to win you back.
@leeingram709
4 жыл бұрын
Skill of Attraction thanks for the feedback, I would like to keep you updated with my progress.
@X4hunterx4
3 жыл бұрын
@@leeingram709 what happened?
@leeingram709
3 жыл бұрын
@@X4hunterx4 hi there Jimmy, firstly sorry for the very late reply, I had to search through the comments section to find your question. So obviously months have passed since I reached out to Eric, and I thank him and all that commented on my situation. To get straight to the point, or I will end up writing an essay lol, her and one of her closest friend went on holiday to sunny Barbados as part as a celebration for graduating from Uni. Whilst on holiday, she had a lot of time to reflect on her life especially her relationship with me....at the time I was made redundant from the company I worked for and hadn’t been working for about 2 years. This is the reason I got the cold shoulder when she returned home from Barbados.... I was baffled as to why I was suddenly receiving this treatment as I thought things were fine before she left, so I decided to confront her. After her denying at first that nothing was wrong between us, she later confessed, me not working caused her to feel a certain way about us as a couple, and how we would obtain things ie a house in the future. Basically, the underlying problem was me not having a job. Women want security particularly when they are in a longterm relationship. Things got better when I finally got a job, and we began to do things such as ordering a takeaway or going out shopping like we use to do before. But more importantly, we could to about the future, kids, marriage and house, and she believed it was possible to achieve these things. I apologise for the long winded reply, but I really hope my situation may help another male out there in the world.
@shawnh2651
4 жыл бұрын
The guy is spot on. Well done man. It's hard to do, but he is right.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes it can be difficult, but the more you get used to it & practice holding your frame, the easier it gets.
@TheAngeloTheory
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the video sir!
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Of course! Thanks for watching!
@seejey9618
2 жыл бұрын
This is 100% True Tnx Coach Erick
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
Sure! Thanks, man!
@intzeproduction99
3 жыл бұрын
My main love languages are quality time and physical touch. No one understands my struggle when it comes to dating! But we have no choice but to listen to the professionals 😏
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Love languages (ie: affection) are different than attraction. Many people confuse the two.
@intzeproduction99
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction I guess attraction is the spark that leads to intimacy. Love languages keep the relationship stable and healthy. Is that true?
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@intzeproduction99 For the most part, yes. Attraction is basically the spark, but that spark also needs to be maintained throughout. People can still love their partner & feel affection without feeling attraction, but this is when the relationship turns into more of a really good friendship (usually without intimacy), which unfortunately is a lot of modern marriages. Affection/love languages will maintain the stability of the relationship & help keep your partner feeling special. In order to have a healthy, loving, passionate LTR/marriage you must have both affection & attraction, but romantic love (& the passion) will not last without attraction.
@mrsimo7144
2 жыл бұрын
I've always been in decent relationships. Met my GF in Dec 21. By week 4, got ghosted. Blamed myself for all this. Reconnected. Happened again around 5 weeks later. I lost my shit at this point. She came crawling back. Then I discovered her behaviour patterns. Last week she was in a bad mood, I text her shortly a joke about her mood. She didn't like it, one bit. 7 days later, still NC. The pain is surreal. I'm done. Yet she hasn't contacted me. I could have been in a bad car accident or something. People, be careful. Thanks for the upload ❤️
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
You have to understand WHY they pull away: kzitem.info/news/bejne/uW1523ewb36kdpg
@Yolo-yr8nw
Жыл бұрын
I would not mess around with such a woman. Just leave
@mrsimo7144
Жыл бұрын
Update. December, she finally dumped me and caused me to have a seizure. Emailed her and nothing. I've recently got back to work but still weak. Thanks ❤️
@Giovanni-01
4 жыл бұрын
Take no notice guys when she does this. Even your gf, let her re engage.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, exactly!
@poormanintexas
2 жыл бұрын
I needed this video today, very close to screwing it up. Thank you.
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
It's an easy trap to fall in to when you don't understand what's happening. Glad you found this video in time!
@Volksinformant
4 жыл бұрын
Back in my school days I already noticed this strange behavior, also the typical "hot" and "cold" behavior. You know what? I'm sick of it! We men have feelings, too! I still don't know why women act like that. At the moment I have this problem with a female coworker in the office: last week she talked to me daily about her private life, even the most private topics. This week she is completely ignoring me as if I were a stranger! Strangely enough, she always blushes when she talks to me, and when I look into her eyes, she looks away immediately! But she has a boyfriend and she talks about him in almost every conversation! I never talk to her first, nor do I act clingy or needy. I don't chase her! Does anyone know why she's acting this way? My rule: if she pulls away, she only does it once! She has only one shot, and if she fucks it up, it will be her problem! My life is too precious! Whoever is interested in me should approach me openly and without delay! Women demand equal rights? You can have that! Ask us men out, too!
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
All women pull away from time to time, because they follow their emotions & their emotions are always in flux. They expect men to allow a woman's emotions to bother them, & it's best that you work on this if you want to ever have a happy, healthy relationship with a woman. It's difficult to say why this particular woman is doing this in this particular case, but the best way to handle it is to not allow it to affect you & let her come to you. In other words, don;t chase after her validation.
@mememhehehe8015
3 жыл бұрын
why even engage/get invested with a woman who has a bf?
@raresabraleaks8216
3 жыл бұрын
@@mememhehehe8015 cause who cares, fuck him 😂
@vorux4707
3 жыл бұрын
@@raresabraleaks8216 until it happens to YOU
@raresabraleaks8216
3 жыл бұрын
@@vorux4707 happened to me plenty of times. there’s ALWAYS another guy trying to talk to your girl, what are u gonna do about it?
@MrTheomighty1
3 жыл бұрын
My woman has just done this to me and we’ve been together for 15 months, she’s still initiating texts and calls, she’s completely changed completely pulled back, she broke up with me last year and I went straight into no contact and I feel she saw me as a different guy
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
She sees you as a different guy because you went into no contact? Sometimes women pull away when they're feeling hurt or unhappy. While you still want to follow the fundamentals of what I teach, have you tried to get her talking? Ask her what's bothering her, just don't make it about you by asking if she's mad ta you or if you did something wrong (anything like that). The idea is to get her to open up & get her talking if something IS bothering her. It's very possible that she has been trying to tell you for a while, but you're not picking it up. Women communicate in emotion & rarely are they direct with what they mean. So, getting her talking can help you understand if that's the problem...but if she continues with her distance & coldness, perhaps she just needs a little time & space. It's difficult for me to say for sure without knowing all the details. Perhaps private coaching would be helpful?
@rasheemthebestfirstone3274
Жыл бұрын
Did you get her back
@karimmazu8181
3 жыл бұрын
very clear and assertive. Comgrats!
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching!
@SS-ly2bn
2 жыл бұрын
I agree with the information here. Keep your cool men. 😘
@familyserver4836
3 жыл бұрын
When a girl pulls away that's mean she wants some space. So, your job is to be silent until she re-engage with you.
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
More or less, yes. The only time that isn't true is if you did something to hurt her.
@sustainf
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction I’m lost on what to do. I hurt my gf and she gave up on our relationship. At the end, I became needy and she broke up with me. I told her I love her and that I want to be with her, but she said that it was too late. I’ve been in no contact for 6 months. Should I stay in no contact?
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@sustainf What i mean here is, sometimes women pull away when they feel hurt or feel like you're not investing in them. In that case, backing off & letting her come to you will most likely backfire, because she will feel that you just don't care. So, you would reach out to her once, apologize if required, & try to arrange a date. If she continues to be distant or rejects your date invite, then back off. In your case, she ultimately ended things due to neediness. So, that isn't the same. Yes, you should stay in no contact, but I hope you're not still waiting for her. There's nothing wrong with having some hope of a future reconciliation, but you should definitely be moving on with life. If a woman is going to come back, it typically happens when you're able to genuinely let go.
@sustainf
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction Thank you so much for your sound advice! Wondering what to do for her bday in March. She sent me a gift and reached out to me for my birthday last June after we broke up in April. Likely because I took her to dinner for her birthday in March. Ignore her bday?
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@sustainf Yes, ignore her bday. I know it's difficult, but you have to give her the sense that you have let go. Once she senses this, if there's anything left for her, this will encourage her to reach out. The general idea, besides the fact that 'no contact is really for you so you can heal & move on, is to get her to the point where she feels that unless she does something about it, she will lose you forever. This is what no contact is all about.
@nolagospeltracts8264
4 жыл бұрын
All the woman that did that to me when I was single I should have dumped on the spot.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
That's not necessary. The decision is yours of course, but just backing away yourself, not chasing her & allowing her to reengage is really all it takes.
@claytonbigsby9673
2 жыл бұрын
That’s exactly what I do…not worth it….unless she’s a virgin and a traditional women who will be your wife and stay on your side and act like a partner…if not, no point in sticking around in case she comes back, which I never take back
@donnab8345
3 жыл бұрын
Since men usually do the calling, I guess "pulling away" by women means she stops going out w/the man as often, her intense behavior has seemed to cool, she doesn't respond to texts & ph messages as quickly? These are minor things, compared to when a man pulls away, which usu. means he doesn't contact her for one to several weeks. When a woman cools off, is less intense, doesn't go out as often with you, it might help to just ask her. I've done this inadvertently because it's become boring (altho I still like him), he's said things that hurt my feelings, or other specific things that I don't feel comfortable telling him because we don't talk about emotional things. But if he asks, I might feel it's okay to tell him. Women don't usually play games with love or get into power trips. Power tripping is a male quality, I think. Once I pulled away because I thought he was seeing someone else; I couldn't ask him because he wouldn't tell me the truth, if he was seeing someone else. I was very hurt at what I thought he was doing, so I pulled away. If he'd asked, at least I would know he cared, so that would have pulled me back. Men just don't TALK about things!
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Pulling away emotionally is what is meant here. Men know it all too well. Of course there's consciously pulling away, like what you're describing...you feel hurt, you feel like he's not investing, etc. Then there's subconsciously pulling away, which is essentially what we're talking about here. Most of the time women don't even realize they are doing it. This usually occurs when the woman is feeling bored, too familiar with him (ie: no mystery or challenge), overconfident about where she stands with him, etc. Women follow their emotions, oftentimes without giving it a second thought. When this happens, I typically coach men to match & mirror her level of effort/investment. If she's still cold/distant after approximately one week, I then suggest men reach out to her to make sure everything is okay. If she has consciously pulled away due to feeling hurt, etc this is when they can discuss the issue. However, in most cases, it's simply subconsciously pulling away & a little time/space between them solves the issue. During that time her attraction has begun to grow again & she wants to connect & spend time with him again. It's not games being played by her, nor by him...she's following her emotions & he's simply giving her the space she clearly needs.
@ASH-cd9lq
3 жыл бұрын
The comments be really relatable af tho
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
You can actually learn a lot from the comments in most of my videos, as I try to clarify & help people out when I can.
@pedrocalaisguerra
4 жыл бұрын
excellent video
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks, man!
@alexanderkohary1690
2 жыл бұрын
Her royal majesty will be back? How generous !
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
It's just how women operate. They follow their emotions. You can't be mad at women for being women.
@thomasjohn9456
3 жыл бұрын
Currently happening to me right now. I have been seeing a girl for about two months now. Im 26 shes 25. Into me, telling friends about me, being intimate multiple times a week. At the start i wouldnt be very available. She would want to see each other and I just wouldnt be able to for "xyz" reason but i would make time for her and it was great. Always calling/facetiming me. I started getting really into her and we pretty much stayed at each others places every night of the week. Out of no where she stopped putting in much effort. Been going on for about a week now. When we are with each other in person its all normal still and fun/flirty with "sexy time" but that has only been once rather than the normal 3 times or so we stay with each other. She knows im high valued real estate because we told each other we were going to be honest with each other so i let her know when old flings try to slide into the DMs for drinks and vice versa. However it currently seems like she is trying to speak to me as little as possible via text/snapchat now. Im trying to follow your lead and just let them come back when they are ready but she still will txt me just as soon as i reply to it its like pulling teeth. So weird. Advice?
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
It sounds like you're conveying to her that you're a little TOO into her. It's counter-intuitive, but when you make a woman feel like she's number one it causes her to lose interest. Women need to feel like they're working to earn your time & attention, & when you give that away too easily they will feel as if there's nothing more to work for...she has you, so her investment drops off significantly. While your value may be high, it really boils down to her perception of it...& when you make things too easy your perceived value drops a bit. It's not about being completely unavailable, but finding the balance between being too available & being too unavailable. Attraction & desire really stem from the anxiety of uncertainty about where one stands.
@thomasjohn9456
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction for your 1 on 1 calls. Do you conduct them or do you have reps that handle the calls?
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@thomasjohn9456 It's you & me, one on one & completely confidential.
@loading...9167
3 жыл бұрын
Damn well this is happening to me now, I wish it didn't come to it, but ah well. My gf for 3 months has been pretty busy lately along with some family problems and as a result she is quite stressed lately. Lately I've noticed that she's been pulling away as well as me not being a priority, and I can admit that I was a bit clingy when she started pulling away as I didn't know what to do. However, I've been listening to your advice lately and mirroring her actions. Im just hoping that she comes back, I don't think she's cheating or any of that, but I wish I would be a bit mentally stronger in this circumstance.
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
We all go through this with women at some point...& usually man times throughout the relationship, so it;s best to learn how to get through her random pull-aways while keeping your power. It does get easier the more you go through it, but part of the anxiety you feel when a girl pulls away is just partly due to how we're wired as humans. So, you will always feel a little anxious if you care about the girl. But that's good, you're mirroring her until she begins being sweet & investing again. Then you just take the lead & start arranging dates. It's very helpful that you have compelling, productive activities for yourself, as it will give you a sense of options & keep your mind busy so you're not thinking of her so much. Plus, a productive, ambitious man is a VERY attractive to women.
@loading...9167
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction It's been a while since this interaction lmao, but I do find myself coming back to your videos all the time and it really helps me. Unfortunately I wasn't able to keep what I had with my ex as it ended 2 months ago. Hurt like a bitch. But since then I followed your advice and stuck to no contact after we broke up. Safe to say my ex reached out again after posting some stories on her Instagram related to the subject of her missing me. She eventually reached out and told me how she realized how big of an impact I had on her, etc etc, and that she wanted to get back together but I told her that I wanted to take things slow which she also agreed to do. Long story short went on one date a month ago for 8 hours straight, it was amazing got along like nothing ever happened. I then asked her out again and then suddenly just low interest all over again. It's really frustrating, idk what's going through her head. But anyways its been 3 weeks since then haven't heard from her and now I'm back in no contact mode, dating and seeing other people in the meantime. I did sort of rush her into a relationship status and moved faster than I should've which may have scared her away which is my fuck up, but I have no clue what happened.
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@loading...9167 Yes, it sounds that you may have gotten a little too eager when she started reaching out again, which caused her to put her guard up & question the relationship again. Anytime you go through a breakup, then no contact, & you rekindle something with your ex, you always want to approach it like it's something brand new. See her as a new girl in your life & you're beginning a new courtship. Most people who get back together, they just pick up where they left off & realize that it's the same relationship that they left behind. You want to see the old relationship as over, but a reconciliation as potential new relationship. You wouldn't rush into a relationship status if she were a new girl. But it can be difficult when you've been missing her for months & you finally are back in contact. I have a video on how to pace the courtship that can used as guide if she does com back again, or any new girl. You don't have to follow it exactly, but you do want to pay attention to the fundamentals: kzitem.info/news/bejne/mWd_0q2HgXd3h5w You're doing the only thing that you can do right now & that is no contact & getting back up on the horse again (ie: dating new women). She's come back before, so chances are you haven't heard the last from her...but it's not a good idea to wait around for her. You want to keep moving forward & if she wants you, she will come find you.
@loading...9167
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction Yeah you're absolutely right about that. I won't contact her again unless she reaches out. such a stupid mistake. I of course have met new women that I really like, but I have a hard time really falling for any of them due to my feelings for my ex no matter how good looking the other women are. I'm sure these things just take a bit of time. But thanks a bunch for reaching out anyways and i'll do my best to learn the fundamentals of pacing myself when it comes to new girls or then my ex if that ever comes to tuition again.
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@loading...9167 You're doing the right thing by dating new women; however, be careful that you're not looking for your ex in these new women. After a breakup, while we continue to grieve, we often search for that connection we had in new people, which will make it difficult to connect with them & be open to something new. I'm sure you're still grieving, as it takes time. You can speed up the process a bit by focusing on building yourself up & meeting/dating new women...exactly what you're already doing. So, you're on the right path!
@cuh-ray-z733
4 жыл бұрын
Girl I’m talking to rn is currently doing this , needed this video
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Glad you found it in time! It's mostly about how you handle this situation that will determine how it turns out.
@cuh-ray-z733
4 жыл бұрын
Skill of Attraction she says she’s been in a lot of back pain and since it’s happened her responses are very short like we talk maybe twice out the day now instead of all the time , tryna set that second date up but she’s making it hard lol should I pull away completely let her come to me
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
@@cuh-ray-z733 Generally, if she's rejected your date invite twice in a row, then you want to stop, because you're just chasing her at that point. You will only get more & more frustrated & eventually chase her away. If you've already have done that, then I would try one last time & if she rejects you this time simply tell her that she should get in touch when she wants to get together & then you completely stop initiating. Either she will begin contacting you, or she will just go away. Either way, it's a win-win for you. If she contacts you & suggests getting together, then you've got another date. If she just disappears, then she just saved you a tone of time & energy, because that show that it would have never worked anyway. Win-win.
@cuh-ray-z733
4 жыл бұрын
Skill of Attraction I haven’t asked her on a second date , we had one planned her back was hurting she was like can we please reschedule so I said yea , but lately we’ve only talked maybe once a day , obviously it’s her not me , women really do this a lot it’s so dumb 😭 , so I guess I just wait it out , she hasn’t replied to me since yesterday still so like should I just leave for a few days and let her contact me?
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
@@cuh-ray-z733 Yes, let her contact you if you already reached out & she hasn't responded.
@bassam1354
4 жыл бұрын
Does this apply when you're pursuing a woman who seemed kinda interested at first?
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes. If she was interested at first & has now pulled away, you most likely said or did something that turned her off a bit. So, yes, you handle it the same way.
@bassam1354
4 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction I did that with the girl I'm pursuing and I haven't contacted her in almost a month now but we still meet at work and I try to keep it a little fun when we have to talk, should I get back to contacting her now that the last time we talked was month ago?
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
I wouldn't start contacting her, exactly. It's best that you just arrange a date with her. I don't know if you can do that sort of thing at work, but you want to tell her that you would like to take her for coffee (or something light, like that. No fancy dinners, etc) then ask her when she's free. And if she rejects your invite, don't take it personally. Just smile & say something like, "Okay. Well, you know where to find if you change your mind". Then assume that nothing will happen after that. And she will either decide at a later time that she might be interested in taking you up on your offer, or nothing will happen. So, don't wait for her or bring it up again. Start talking to other girls & handle it the same way I just suggested. It will make your dating life MUCH easier & you'll have a much higher success rate.
@bassam1354
4 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction thank you coach that's what I'm planning to do, I'll text her and see how it goes
@barneyrubble8839
Жыл бұрын
When a Woman pushes her man away, it pushes him into bed with another Woman, real alpha men don't play games or chase
@SkillofAttraction
Жыл бұрын
It's not games, it's called self respect & self confidence. Confident men don't get scared because his girl pulled away, because he knows she'll be back.
@elliotwolf2276
3 жыл бұрын
Fantastic video! You pretty much described my exact situation. We were talking and We hung out for the first time last Sunday and after she said “let’s do this again some time” and i got too excited and on Monday said a lot of stuff that made it seem like she had me and she went cold since. What would you recommend? I haven’t started any conversations since except updated her on my soccer game I played in a non flirty/needy way. Do I keep giving her space? And when would be a good time to just drop it since we’re not officially dating
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, this happens a lot. You always want to think of yourself as the prize to be won...not with arrogance, but with confidence. And you should feel confident, because she clearly likes you, or she wouldn't have been giving you the time of day. But, women need to see their man as high value, so you must communicate your high value but giving her the time & space to win you over. Of course you still have to take the lead & initiate the courtship by arranging dates & making a move on her...& if she likes you, she'll go along with it. So, really you just want to take your time & expect the unexpected with women. When they make it easy for you, that's a sign they like you & you should keep moving forward...when they make it difficult for you, that's a sign that they're at least experiencing uncertainty about you. It's also a sign that you should back off, at least a little. If she went cold because you were a little too eager, then you stop all initiating contact. This will communicate to her that you're not too eager, that you're confident that she likes you...or maybe even that you have options with other women (which makes you come across as higher value), if you don't hear from her after 7 days, casually reach out with an upbeat & playful attitude. After a little flirty banter, TELL her that you want to see her again & then ask her when she's free to get together. If she's still feeling it for you, she will give you a day when she's free. if she's not feeling it for you, she will give you excuses or outright reject your invite. In the case of the latter, politely accept it & politely end the conversation. Then back to not initiating any contact. After at least another week (or even 2 weeks), contact her again like I mentioned above & do the same (tell her you want to see her & ask about her availability). if she rejects you this time, it will be the last time you attempt to arrange a date. It's up to her now. But, end the conversation by telling her that your offer stands & if she has a change of heart then she should get in touch with you. Then move on. She will contact you sometime in the future if she does change her mind. Basically, you're giving her the impression that you're unfazed about any rejection or pull-aways because you're confident in your value, & that you're a calm, cool guy who isn't attached to any outcomes. Girls love that shit!
@elliotwolf2276
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction sounds good thanks for the awesome explanation. Love the content!
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@elliotwolf2276 Thanks, man!
@elliotwolf2276
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction she just posted a picture on social media with a new guy. Im not clear if its the new guy shes talking too and I got played and thats why she went cold or if its just a friend of hers and she went cold because I was too eager. Let me know your opinion and the next step.
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@elliotwolf2276 If you were too eager, that's why she went cold...however, if there's another dude in the picture who she feels more attraction for, you will certainly be a lower priority. Women often have a few guys in the background, which are referred to as "orbiters". You never want to be, or accept being, an orbiter...you want to be her choice. However, until she's emotionally engaged with you, you often have to "play the game" & remain as an option for a short period of time. So, you want to handle this the same way I mentioned above. Act as if this guy or any others aren't even competition...see them as "orbiters" & see yourself as the prize. Where a lot of men screw up in these types of situations is they get scared that they're losing her & they scramble to try to lock her down. It's counterintuitive, but that will only push her away, because it communicates that you feel that he is of a higher value. Sometimes women will think that maybe you're onto something. So, they begin to turn their attention to the other guy. Women want confident men who believe that they're her best option. So, follow what I suggested above...take your time romantically, but if/when you get another date, be sure to put the moves on her. Don't even mention this other guy or ask her if she's seeing others. You're the prize...you know that it's just a matter of time before she realizes that too. That might not be he case, but that's the attitude that you want to have. Remember, take the romance slowly, but communicate your sexuality by putting the moves on her (ie: non-sexual touching, kissing, etc). Women must see you as a sexual option before romance can happen. Don't try to be friends first or try to prove your good boyfriend traits. That all comes later.
@billhoward532
4 жыл бұрын
Familiarity is the great protector of relationships - OVER-FAMILIARITY on the other hand is the great DESTROYER of relationships.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, on point!
@Anastasio777
3 жыл бұрын
I broke up with her when she asked me for more distance, like seeing only once a week and no communication during the week. Might have been that she realy needed distance or not, the main cause why I left is that she was continous "gas-lighting" me and was soooo toxic as of past traumata she didn´t want to work on and had the attitude to cheat on all her boyfriends. Past sheme of her was: Love-Bombing, Gas-Lighting, wanting distance, getting herself an affair and then leaving. So as I know two ex-boyfriends of her, when she asked for more distance it was clear for me, what she is up to. So I left her. Took me longer to get past over it than her, but that didn´t surprise me. Better that way, sometimes it´s better beeing alone, than with a toxic partner :D
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
When a woman pulls away or asks for space most men believe that it's due to another guy. In most cases it has nothing to do with another dude, she really just need s a little space to sort through her emotions & see if she misses you. The best thing you can do is to say, "Okay. Get in touch when you're ready" & go about your life. She will probably be back within a week or two. In your case, there was a LOT going on here...& she has a history of cheating. so maybe you did the best thing that you could do. However, if she truly loves & values you, she will be back at some point. Then it's up to you what you want to do with that.
@lucaschristianson1985
2 жыл бұрын
That was good. I wish I would have seen this last wk. I didn’t completely fail the test lol.
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
She'll inevitably pull away again at some point, so now you're prepared.
@jeffcarrico7809
3 жыл бұрын
Very true
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Yes
@bman8807
12 күн бұрын
Thanks!
@bman8807
12 күн бұрын
My question is A woman recently pulled away from me after 3 good dates (kissing, she stayed the night but stopped us from going all the way). I tried 3 more times to get her out but she was giving excuses so I stopped. I was only using the phone for dates. She reached out after over a month and Said "hey" lol. I asked her how she's been, she replied. Then I asked her what she'd been up to and she ignored me. So I figured she was uninterested or playing games I waited a day and said Hey so I'm just gonna be honest with you, I feel you pulled away and pretty much ghosted me after I was trying to get to know you, then you reach out after a month of no communication and when I try to make convo you ignore me lol, pretty confusing. I'm not upset I actually really enjoyed the time we spent together but if this is the way you want things to be moving forward then I'm not interested and maybe we should try another time. Was this a mistake or was this a way to show her I was willing to walk away?
@bman8807
12 күн бұрын
Also sidenote. I was only asking her out once a week. Very Little texting in between.
@SkillofAttraction
12 күн бұрын
First, thank you for understanding the directions & understanding that 'super thanks' doesn't mean writing the words super thanks in the comments...& of course thank you for the 'super thanks'. I think that writing that message was unnecessary & probably had little effect on her. First, it's important to understand that women don't care so much about any man walking away until/unless she's emotionally engaged. Most women won't be emotionally engaged at 3 dates unless her attraction is super high & a woman's attraction usually isn't super high at that time. Most likely, what she was waiting for was for you to ask her out after her "hey" message, but since you've already tried 3 times prior to that, I wouldn't have recommended that you do that. As a general rule of thumb, if a woman rejects your attempts to get her out twice in a row, stop asking...& it's best to pout the ball into her court. EG: "My invite stands, so you should get in touch with me when you want to get together again". This not only puts the ball in her court, but it communicates that while you're still interested, you're not going to be chasing her anymore. In this case, how I would've responded to her "hey" after a month of no contact would be something a little playful & a little cocky, while giving her a nudge to ask YOU out. EG: "I suppose you've realized that you're missing me & want to as me out". So, yes, I think that last message was a mistake. You DO want to show women that you're willing to walk away, but you don't need to explain yourself. You show her by not continuing to chase when she's showing little to no investment in you. You always want to show women that you're interested by taking the lead, but as soon as they stop following your lead & stop making themselves unavailable, then you put the ball in their court without sowing any anger or frustration.
@bman8807
12 күн бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction thanks for your reply! I'm not sure if it matters but she did respond and say she knows shes been wishy washy and can't promise it will change but she respected that and adores me. But either way you always have great info and I appreciate it. I don't know if I want to try to talk to her again, probably not. But say if I really liked someone and I did something like this is it beyond recoverable?
@SkillofAttraction
12 күн бұрын
@@bman8807 There's always the possibility that she has an avoidant attachment style, which this kind of behavior is typical for them. But luckily for us, avoidants are not very common at all. So you will not run into this very often. But regardless, she's telling you that this is who she is. So you have to decide if this is something you can live with. I'd recommend that you just go find a girl who makes it easy for you, shows her interest, makes herself available to you, feels a strong attraction for you, etc. If this girl is not an avoidant, & she adores you as much as she says, then she's not going to let you get away easily. I think you've made it pretty clear where you stand...so if she truly wants you, she can put in some effort.
@x-calibur3636
2 жыл бұрын
W vid very helpful
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
Glad it helped! Thanks for watching!
@Hummel5006
4 жыл бұрын
My god coach, the trouble I could I’ve saved myself had I known this stuff years ago, this is so spot on. My one question though is when you do give them space and all that and they reach out how do you respond? I remember a few times I did everything right and they reached out with something like ‘’so you not gonna talk to me either’’ and I said ‘’yea, not playing your silly games’’ which was a bad move. So what would be the best reply when they reach out and ask why they haven’t heard from you especially when you are in contact everyday usually? Thanks!
@samtheillusionistpatreon6928
4 жыл бұрын
When she reaches out, just invite her on the next date. Done.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
'Higher Court' is correct. When she eventually reaches out, greet her with an upbeat, playful attitude, like you're completely unaffected by her absence. Then simply tell her that you would love to see her & ask her when she's free to get together. If she rejects that idea, just politely end the conversation telling her to get in touch when she wants to get together. Then, again, let her reach out to you.
@cheekclapper3960
3 жыл бұрын
I just give her space when she acts like this. Then i focus on sleeping with other women. Seems to work but most importantly it makes me happy to clap other cheeks
@NK-iu5tf
2 жыл бұрын
Lol
@Jleed989
4 жыл бұрын
But what if she’s hurting, has retreated into a corner and is waiting to see if her Prince Charming will come rescue her?
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
If you did something to hurt her, apologize & rectify...but do not chase & coddle her, or anything I mentioned in this video. But be sure that you actually did something wrong & she's not just guilt tripping you.
@heae90
2 жыл бұрын
Just went through this. I got the "I can't emotionally handle a relationship right now." I definitely failed the test. I'm on no-contact now, I'm curious to see if she'll be back or not.
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
That's usually a sign that you were too relationship focused. This video may shed some light on that: kzitem.info/news/bejne/l4ht05lvsoOnaaQ
@heae90
2 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction I definitely was, but it was because we were together, and I didn't text her for 2 days (she didn't text me either) and when I called her on day 3 she didn't text me for 3 days and deleted all our photos on social media. So this was after that happened, and I was trying to get back to the relationship. Kinda sucks this all went downhill because I didn't text her for 2 days.
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
@@heae90 It sounds like she's just throwing a temper tantrum because she wasn't getting what she wanted. This behavior is not uncommon with women. Just be patient, give her space, & let her come to you at her own pace. When she reaches out (the chances of that happening are high!), greet her with a fun & upbeat attitude. After a little playful banter, tell her that you want to see her & ask her when she's free to get together. If she rejects that, don't take it personal (may be a test). Just politely tell her to get in touch when she wants to get together & go back to no contact.
@heae90
2 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction Will do! I was 2 weeks into no contact after out breakup, then texted her asking how she was doing. Nothing crazy, and she replied, but I haven't texted her since. Kinda sucks cos we work together. But after the whole tantrum situation, I called her like 4 times asking what are we(2 week period), and then eventually she gave me that speech saying it's hard for her to emotionally handle a relationship right now. So I'm back on no contact with her. I'm hoping that when I reached out asking how she was doing that didn't ruin my chances, cos she did reply a couple of times, and I just left her with "if we work the same shift, let's grab a bite sometime." To which she replied okay, so I didn't reply. Well here's to hoping things can flip back, but I've been watching the videos like crazy, I gotta get better, cos I never thought she would test me like this. But when she didn't text me for 3 days, that triggered my abandonment issues, so i gotta work on that also.
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
@@heae90 Never ask a woman here you stand with her. Instead pay attention to her actions & that will tell you where you currently stand...but that's always subject to change. And do not reach out to her for any reason until she starts investing in you again. When you see her at work, don't initiate contact/conversation unless it's work related. You can smile, wave, etc (don't avoid/ignore her), but let her come to you if she wants to talk. Then greet her with a fun, upbeat, light personality & don't talk about the relationship...
@vatroslavmorbidovic4105
4 жыл бұрын
Shit, now that you mentioned passive aggressive, am I doing that by not calling her because she is not calling me? I wasn't gonna shut her off totally, just not call her and text her here and there. Damn, this is hard! :D
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Well, it's a thin line. If she pulls away, you DO want to mirror her emotions/level of effort. If you don't hear from her within a week, then you want to reach out without questioning her (ie: where have you been? did I do something wrong?, etc), but you CAN ask to make sure everything is ok, because sometimes women pull away because they're feeling hurt. As far as being passive aggressive, you just don't want allow your own hurt emotions to make decisions.
@Spychu1993
10 ай бұрын
I am kinda in this situation which is wild for me cuz with my GF I was never needy before. We live together but she became distant in last couple weeks. Yesterday she's asked me whether it is ok for her to visit family, she'll be gone for 4 days. I've replied 'sure, go'. Hopefully we will both rest a bit and she will miss a bit after those 4 days. I see no reason to contact her until she does
@SkillofAttraction
10 ай бұрын
Right...anytime your girl goes on a vacation or out with her friends, let her reach out to you.
@goingaboutmyfathersbusines4359
2 жыл бұрын
I have pulled away more then once..it was because I lost interest, or he said or did something that just didn't sit well with me..the best thing to do is leave her alone..pretty simple actually..I never used pulling away as a test..just accept the fact u have been friend listed..or if she blocks u it's pretty clear she wants u to leave her alone for good..move on guys
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
That's more or less how I suggest handling it. However, most women's tests are completely visceral & subconscious...basically, instinct. In fact, in both my personal & professional experiences most women don't even realize that they're pulling away. I also have this video if you're interested: kzitem.info/news/bejne/uW1523ewb36kdpg
@vaanarasam2092
3 жыл бұрын
👍🙏thank you sir
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
It gets easier now that you understand this...
@gilakmen2041
3 жыл бұрын
true 99.9%...women pulling away is same as silent treatment..
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Well, the "silent treatment" is typically a conscious choice, where "pulling away' is typically subconscious. In other words, women often don't even realize they're pulling away...they're just following their emotions.
@MessiPistola22
3 жыл бұрын
I would have like to see this video before acting like a needy block. Thanks for your material.
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
We've all been there, but at least now you know how to handle things in the future. ALL women pull away from time to time, so this information will not be wasted.
@kambiulle9531
3 жыл бұрын
I play a lot of financial role for me gf so lately I told her wouldnt b e doing all that again but focus more on myself next day she starts behaving funny slowly she pulls away I call her she dnt pick I ask my friend to call her and she picks I tried talking it out with her what o v done wrong or what the prob might be but she s jst rude careless and angry at me the more I try talking things out the more she pulls away talks to me disrespectfully .as it is am fed up my mind is to quit cut of the relationship and move on hope its right decision imma bout make
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
It's difficult to say for sure, but it sounds like she's angry about you taking away some of your financial support & putting yourself first, & as a result, she's punishing you for it. If you're already fed up & at the stage of walking away, then I recommend you ignore her temper tantrum, because this is a way of her getting your attention. The anger you show her is only showing her that her temper tantrum is working & getting your attention. Ignore it & continue to focus on yourself. If she reaches out to out to show you disrespect, briefly tell her that you will not tolerate this behavior from her, then remove your attention completely until she begins to show you respect & affection again. When she shows you respect & affection again, then reward her with some exclusive time with you (ie: a date). Handling it this way will communicate to her that when she's being sweet & loving, she gets your love & attention...but when she's being bitchy & disrespectful, she loses your attention. If she truly loves & values you, losing your attention will drive her crazy.
@Gameaddict2o9
2 жыл бұрын
Awesome video, can you make a video on when a girl flake on you? How would you handle it and how long should I wait to ask her out again?
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the idea! But for now, a lot of it depends on the context. As an example, did she have a legitimate excuse, is she showing interest, has she made herself available to you before, are you actually dating, have you slept with her more than once...the list goes on. But all in all, you want to see yourself as the prize; not coming from a place of arrogance, but one of confidence & self worth. If she's not showing interest & just jerking you around, especially if you she's flaked twice in a row, then I'd just tell her to get in touch when she's interested in getting together. If she's not doing those things, & you really like her, wait about a week & ask her out one more time. if she declines your invite or makes excuses, then tell her to let you know when she's interested in getting together.
@Gameaddict2o9
2 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction thanks for the quick response! It's a girl whom I work with for about a month now, I only get to see her 2 hours a day for 4 days out of a week. The chemistry and the vibe is there, she smiles and laughs a lot whenever we converse. She also responds to my texts but not instantly, so just recently, I would say about 3 weeks in of getting to know her, the texting kinda stopped because she said she doesn't really like to text, also just last week, we were supposed to go eat out but she flaked on me. She didn't text back until the next day at work when we were at work saying that she was busy looking for a place to rent out. I responded back saying that it's cool, if she's too busy, I understand with a follow up text saying i genuinely didn't take her for the flakey type. On that same day, I didn't engage in a conversation with her at all until the next day but kept it minimal after doing some research and came across your video. Any inputs would be much appreciated 🙏
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
@@Gameaddict2o9 Anytime a girl flakes, but doesn't at the very least call/text to let you know, you should always call her out. You don't have to be a dick about it, but you do want to be firm. EX: "That's fine if yoiu couldn't make it, but it was uncool to not let me know". A few things COULD be going on here. She was testing you to see if you got emotional or if you accept her disrespectful behavior...both responses would have led to a loss of any attraction she may have. Two, there's another dude in the picture...either a boyfriend, a guy she's dating, or a guy she's trying to get back. Or three, she's just not into you & she enjoys your attention. The only way to know for sure how she feels is to get her out on a date & make a move. So, as I suggested above, wait about a week (no sooner than that) & try one last time. If she rejects your invite or flakes, you're not going to ask her anymore...any more pursuit after that is just chasing. I talk about the difference between pursuing & chasing a girl here: kzitem.info/news/bejne/2Kql4IGXbqOSmYI
@Gameaddict2o9
2 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction should I wait a little longer than a week? I just feel like I'm kinda pressuring her to hang out... she did seem to take the initiative and be more enthusiastic now that I'm adjusting my interests level to match hers. Also is it because of the age gap? Because I'm 33 yrs old and she's 21 turning 22 next month..
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
@@Gameaddict2o9 You can wait longer than a week...you just don't want to do it any sooner than a week, because it makes you appear too invested & eager. It could have something to do with the age gap...or just her age in general. She's young & fickle. All women are fickle, but especially when they're young.
@pdxrealestatebabe
3 жыл бұрын
I’d love to see you do a video on women that drag exes around. There are so many videos on how to get your ex back OR how to be friends with your ex. One of the most unattractive things about a woman when I meet them is when they have “ friends “ they have slept with, #*%! buddy’s and exes that aren’t their kids father hanging around. What ever happened to leaving the past in the past snd not dragging baggage around for the new guy to deal with?
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, that's a good idea for a video. But a quick breakdown...for one thing women don't want to be the bad guy after a breakup, so they often offer friendship to their ex. If he doesn't take it, then he's the bad guy...but if he does, then she likes to keep around as backup just in case she can't find anyone new, or the new guy doesn't work out. Studies have shown that a large percentage of women have a backup. Yes, it;s completely wrong, but she will ditch him quickly if you awaken the feminine woman in her. It's best that you don't allow her orbiters to bother you, but also don't allow yourself to get too attached to a woman that still keeps backups in place.
@pdxrealestatebabe
3 жыл бұрын
That’s an excellent reply and has also been my experience. I don’t hang around long once I find out the situation. I’m not here to police anyone’s relationships and find no comfort in knowing they are gone only because I showed up. I know they are just waiting in the wings. Ideally she has done her own housekeeping sorted out her past by the time I show up. If she hadn’t, I don’t step in between those relationships because I know I won’t be ok with it and won’t ask her to compromise her “ friendships “. I’ll watch for the video. Love your content. Thank you !
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@pdxrealestatebabe Yes, you're doing it exactly right. It's best to not even get involved with a woman who has exes hanging around in the background. And thanks for the compliment!
@dwallner03
4 жыл бұрын
Girl did that with me. 4 weeks of fun and everything and went cold last month Found out divorced in September. My mind I was a rebound and she was looking for fun. Not looking for relationship. Sure there is more then one guy. Gave me this text of I really like you and getting to know you out of the blue. Been dating another girl in the mean time. What is it not my time just my turn.
@dwallner03
4 жыл бұрын
I should say that text was 3 weeks in.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
If she's just getting out of a divorce she most likely is in no place for anything serious; she's still healing, as a divorce takes a major mental & emotional toll on people. If you would've continued with her, you probably would've experienced a lot of hot/cold behavior from her due to the aftermath of the divorce. You're doing the right thing by dating someone else. There's a good chance that you will hear from her again in the future.
@dwallner03
4 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction even after 5months? I know it's all rebound stuff and her being in a relationship slash marriage for 7 years. She is just looking to get the different flavors I presume? Make up for lost time.
@davidwallner7761
4 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction I also get it would be hard to be in a relationship with her because your compared to her ex and who ever she has fun with in between. I dodged that.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
It can take a while to heal from a divorce. It really depends on how long she was ready for a divorce before it actually happened, or how long she was out of love before the divorce. However, there could be many reasons why she disappeared on you. Maybe there was another guy(s), maybe you are behaving in ways that said to her you were interested in something more serious & she didn't want that, or maybe you just turned out not to be the man she thought you were. This is one of the reasons why it's so important to understand attraction; so you can figure out why things like this happen. I don't have enough information to be able to pinpoint it. perhaps some private coaching would be beneficial to you?
@brandonmckinney4768
4 жыл бұрын
How do these principles apply when you're married?
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Obviously these principles are more difficult when you're married; you're together a lot & she knows you like the back of her hand. However, it's really the same. You must have masculine vs feminine polarity in order to maintain her inner attraction for you. Chasing after her validation is not masculine. You want to see yourself as the prize & let her come to you.
@brandonmckinney4768
4 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction Yeah it it is harder. It seems like you're walking a finer line when you're married. I just try to get busy and (very) carefully mirror her when she goes into cat mode. I mean you have to be really careful, because they're radar will go up if you pull back too much. Can you do a video on toxic women? I know a guy right now that's going through some stuff. With some women it doesn't matter if you are doing all the right things or not. They are just damaged goods. All women can manipulate, but some are on another level which consists of narcissist, borderline, or bi-polar.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
@@brandonmckinney4768 Yes, there are definitely some damaged women out there who will make that I'm teaching very difficult. I do plan on covering toxic women soon, because sometimes there's just nothing you can do, & it might be best to get out & find a woman who you're more compatible with.
@s.jensen9706
4 жыл бұрын
If she pulls away it's time to pursue our own hobbies, go for a run, hang out with the guys, relax, read a book... do anything you please, just do not text her. I mostly reach out to women maybe 2-3 times a week, and she does the rest.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, exactly!
@MusaMabasa-v8g
2 ай бұрын
She's telling me she loves me but pulling away .. is been 3 weeks now us dating... she texting me when she likes when I call her She's responding but am the only one who's talking she let her go ? She's doesn't want to see me cancel our meet ups
@SkillofAttraction
2 ай бұрын
She's testing you to see if you remain confident or to see if you lose your composure & get anxious. All women do this in the early stages of dating to one degree or another. Do not chase her, or she'll continue to play with your head until she gets bored & turned off. Match her level of effort & enthusiasm until she's affectionate again, then arrange a date. Here are more videos on pulling away... kzitem.info/news/bejne/qWeop6KkgJp6oaA kzitem.info/news/bejne/uW1523ewb36kdpg kzitem.info/news/bejne/yISj36ydqaZ0Zpw kzitem.info/news/bejne/pmNsnYytiqN2dXY If you need further help I recommend that you come on over to the website ( SOA.FM ) & ask your questions there...it's free. Of course I offer private coaching too i you need to get really detailed, also found at the website.
@saurabhnohra
2 жыл бұрын
What the fuck is wrong with our world?? People do not want to connect Afraid to communicate Real feelings are pushed back All we are left with these stupid mind games…
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
It's all a psychological game. It's always been this way. Sadly, society has conditioned us to believe otherwise.
@markpol8718
2 жыл бұрын
My girlfriend told tomorrow night that she doesn't give a shit whether i stay or leave . I had said the same in a different way , now she is blaming me for i did it first. Now i am silent and doing my own work. Will she come back ?
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
Most likely she'll be back. Women hate to take accountability for anything & will often shift the blame. Just stay focused on yourself, don't chase her, & give her the space to come to you. This will increase your value, especially if she believes that you'll cave & run after her.
@markpol8718
2 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction thanks ! i appreciate your instant reply. It was needed
@ultrahigher6739
4 жыл бұрын
should I like her tweets? what effect would it have if I did by mistake?
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
I recommend that you do not if she's pulling away. Really, I recommend that you do not do it very often at all no matter where she stands. Women must wonder about you in order to maintain their attraction. If you're always engaging with her social media, there's no mystery for her; there's nothing to wonder about. She knows she has your attention. And women feel validated by attention.
@gabynyy12
Жыл бұрын
Thanks! I have a question coach. This girl I’ve been dating for two months has just started to pull back from me. I saw online that the night before she was hanging out with her ex who she has been confused on her feelings for recently. She hasn’t contacted me since last night when she texted me and I responded. I didn’t blow up her phone but I did call her a few times. It’s possible that her and her ex did something and now she is pulling away to avoid confrontation. I’m not really sure what to do. I know I should mirror her and pull back as well but it’s really hurting me. If she does come back how should I react? Should I question her on why she pulled away?
@SkillofAttraction
Жыл бұрын
Are you in a committed relationship with her? If so, I'd tell her that you're not going to tolerate her hanging out with her ex, then "soft next"...which means to completely cut her off for about a week. This is essentially no contact on steroids; no reaching out & ignore any & all attempts at her getting in touch with you. After the time is up, reach out to her with an upbeat, unaffected attitude & get a gauge of where she stands. If she's truly sorry, she will apologize and be grateful to hear from you again. If she's not or she wants to be with her ex, she will either end things, ignore you, or blame everything on you. Then you know that she's not the girl for you & you should walk away. If she's apologetic, then arrange a date. The idea here is that she face consequences & a real threat of losing you for her bad behavior. Arguing with her or trying to convince her that her actions were wrong by talking about it will not do anything. Now, if she's not a committed girlfriend, simply tell her that if she's going to be hanging out with her ex that she should figure out what she wants, because you can't take her seriously. if she needs time to figure it out, then tell her to contact you when she figures it out & if you're still available, maybe you can start things back up again. Again, this is designed so she face a real threat. You just have to be prepared for anything to happen, because it might not go the way that you hope. Hanging out with her ex is not a good sign & being passive about this will only make it worse.
@windthugness
3 жыл бұрын
What if she’s ghosting you/leaving you on read for days so just unfollow and block her? Is that a sign of weakness?
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
No, I don't recommend that you unfollow/block her, as that conveys emotional weakness. Instead, let it go & let her come to you when she's ready. This will convey emotional strength & confidence, which is very attractive. Now, this doesn't mean that you have to rush to answer her when she finally does respond...in fact, I recommend that you do NOT rush to respond to her...take your time. Then greet her with an upbeat attitude. Fight the urge to call her out on this particular situation...that just creates unnecessary drama. In most cases, once a woman realizes that her actions aren't affecting you, she'll stop that behavior.
@windthugness
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction she was flaking all dates since July and contact became less and short, then eventually to ghosting. My family saw that I was in a bad emotional state and told me to just block her, I suppose there is no going back. I’ll take this as a learning experience.
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@windthugness Well, if she keeps flaking then that is showing a lack of interest, unfortunately. Women who want you & want to see you will make the time, no matter how busy her schedule is. In the future, try to arrange a date, if she rejects your invite or flakes two times in a row, then stop all pursuit (it's just chasing her at this point & that's unattractive) & tell her to get in touch when she wants to get together...then stop initiating all contact. if she has any feelings for you, you will be hearing from her soon. Keep an upbeat & playful attitude when you talk to her, but keep the conversation short. Give her very little of your time until SHE suggests getting together. For now, do not initiate contact for any reason. If/when she reaches out, follow what i suggested above...BUT start from scratch & try to arrange a date. If she rejects you twice in a row, then you know what to do from there. In the meantime, begin working on yourself & improving yourself, including meeting/dating new women. This is the best way to handle this situation. Assume that you won't be hearing from her & move on with your life. If she cares at all, she will be reaching out, but you can't put your life on hold for a maybe. See yourself as the prize & think of this as HER loss.
@max.jancar
4 жыл бұрын
Hey i'm having issues with my girlfriend loosing interest, and am thinking about a coaching. But can someone tell me their experiance. Why does someone buy coaching instead of solving the problem by himself? Like what's blocking you from re-attracting your girlfriend on your own?
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
I'll let others respond as well, but I have learned over the years that a lot of men know what to do, at least deep down, & they are simply looking for confirmation & a deeper understanding why they should take certain steps as opposed to alternative steps.
@max.jancar
4 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction Thank you for the reply. It's rare to see an actual coach reply so fast on his youtube video comments. I really appreciate your effort.
@chamboyette853
4 жыл бұрын
Not all women do this play games or do tests. Depends on the woman.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes they do. It's innate.
@onflidar6208
2 жыл бұрын
Hey coach, You’ve said before that when she comes back we want to be a little less available (i.e not asking her out right away) to foster her growing interest. For example, I called earlier this week to set up a date but she didn’t want to talk and was being distant. Yesterday she texted and she was a little warmer and asked if I could talk but I told her I couldn’t as I had to be up early the next morning to which she said “ok”. Should I wait for her to reach out again and then set the date?
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
Yes, you do want to be less available, but you still have to take the lead. So, you want to arrange a date. When she reaches out again, then I'd definitely set a date. Your only focus should be getting her out on dates )no more than once a week for now), having fun, & gently leading her into the bedroom. Keep texting/talking on the phone to a minimum between dates & let her work for your time & attention. This video will help: kzitem.info/news/bejne/mWd_0q2HgXd3h5w
@kp5870
4 жыл бұрын
when a woman’s needs aren’t getting met, like our love languages of quality time and we’re competing with your phone when he didn’t use to? yeah, i will pull back because i won’t give my time to someone who can’t put his phone away to be present...
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
I do instruct men that when they are spending time with their girl they should be 100% present. So I agree...
@kp5870
4 жыл бұрын
this person does have ADHD, but I didn’t have this behavior during courtship. I did have to find a shoe box and enact a new rule that when we’re doing an activity together, the phones go in there. Obviously that’s if he comes over to my place... so I’m not sure what to do if it keeps happening if we’re at his place or out? Leave after saying once “QT time babe, seriously?” 🤷🏻♀️
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
@@kp5870 You have to make it known that you will not tolerate it. Ask him nicely once & if he continues, sometimes that means you have to get up & leave in order to prove your point.
@EverythingEsala
2 жыл бұрын
Great mentoring. I have this question. There is a girl first who shows interest in me with familiar touching my hands, smiling at me and staring at me. Eventually, I thought she likes me and then I tend to fall for her. Then she acted weird knowing my age and told me that she has no feelings for me but she likes me because we are in the same office. She keeps talking to me like her friend. But not like at the beginning. She is having some issues with another dude. I saw that. What should I do? When I turn down replying to her hours after she messaged me she got upset and said she won't bother me anymore. What should I do?
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
I'm changing things up here...please see the pinned comment.
@gauravahuja8410
4 жыл бұрын
Man I've been kinda ignoring her now she ignoring me what do I do
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
You should never ignore a woman. It's one thing if you stop initiating contact when she pulls away, but ignoring her will lead her to believe that either you don't care or you're playing games. So, I recommend that you contact her & apologize for ignoring her, followed by telling her that you would like to see her & ask her when she's free to get together. The of course take her out on a fun date.
@JourneyWithCharnjeet
3 жыл бұрын
Respect 🙏💓🤝
@Agnet_Faze
3 жыл бұрын
Lmao she is my woman duh....Ofc sometimes she needs her own space yeah and when she acts like that, I just throw the challenge card and if not I just do not pay attention to her...I keep ignoring and do my own things until she begins to see that I am doing fine on my own and then she comes back around bc she is the one who misses me....
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Most men don't understand this & they think it was because they were not doing enough, so they try harder & want to spend more time with her. But yes, that's exactly how to handle the situation.
@Agnet_Faze
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction Well trying to show up and keep giving her my attention all the times, that would just be boring and then she would begin to think I am needy....Men should not make their woman feel like he is needy cause being needy is what make a woman feel like wanna be distant cause they feel overwhelmed.... They just have to know when they need to play the challenge card, make her chase, when to be distant and not paying attention etc....Otherwise the relationship will become monotonous and boring...
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@Agnet_Faze Yes, correct. Typically women pull away when they're overconfident about where they stand with you. In other words, if she feels like she has you, you quickly become a low priority...there's nothing for her to chase. In order to keep a woman chasing you must give her enough that shows your interest, but in such a way where there's a question mark behind that. Uncertainty keeps her chasing.
@bryanwolf5468
3 жыл бұрын
Sigh I appreciate this but my main question is when pulling away from her... How do you do it that it's not too obvious... Like not too cold... I just feel she'd know something is up when she starts talking to you and your responses are cold and all that
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Pull away slowly. If you're in a committed relationship with her it's better that you pull away slowly anyway. As an example, if you typically initiate contact every day, this week only initiate 5 days of the week, the following week 3-4 times, the next week 1-2 twice. She will most likely notice the distance before it gets to that point & feel the urge to close that gap, but you have to be prepared in case she doesn't. You may also want to check out my video on how to be a little challenging too: kzitem.info/news/bejne/zZesyqWCqnujaqQ All of this is a way to put her in a position where she must invest in you more. Women cherish men they must earn & continue to earn.
@bryanwolf5468
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction wow holy shut dude.... I can't believe you actually replied! Thanks so much man... I've watched so many of your videos... Alot of the mistakes guys make when their girl pulls away pretty sure I made all of em.... If only I had discovered this channel a year ago when I was with my ex.... Now I have a new girl friend and she isn't exactly pulling away but I can definitely feel that the intensity has died down abit and things are a bit mellow.... Personally I blame myself being so expressive and showing so much love and I think she's gotten really comfortable... I've been trying to pull away but I don't know how to do it in a way that won't be obvious.... The number of times I initiate contact aside... I don't know how to be less expressive with her without it being obvious that I'm distancing myself.... I'm an expressive multiple reply talk alot kinda guy.... I think that might be part of the problem.... I don't know how to do that less without it being obvious
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@bryanwolf5468 A good way to slow yourself down is to give her 2/3 of every whole she gives you. As an example, tell her you love her twice for every three "I love yous" you get from her. The trick here is that you do NOT keep score, but you just want to be cognizant of her investment into you, & your investment in her being just slightly less. Where it gets confusing is that you must still lead. So, do a little, let her respond by investing a little more, then you take a little more action.
@MrUGA2010
3 жыл бұрын
Erick come back!
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Soon, brotha!
@MrUGA2010
3 жыл бұрын
Skill of Attraction we enjoy your videos the most! Lots of fake coaches on YT these days
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
@@MrUGA2010 Thanks, man! I'll get back on them shortly!
@sonyabadass
3 жыл бұрын
Pull away and upset are two different things right?
@SkillofAttraction
3 жыл бұрын
Not really. Sometimes when women are upset they pull away too, but the typical reason for the pull-away is because she needs a little space.
@TheIndianGam3r
2 жыл бұрын
What should I do if I have already shown the state of emotional weakness to the girl ? What if someone like me as already had a reactive response to her pulling away and wants to make amends now
@SkillofAttraction
2 жыл бұрын
You want to start showing less weakness. The good news is, in many cases where men demonstrate weakness, & the woman is already involved/in love with him, she doesn't always sense it consciously. Not to mention that there are ebbs & flows in a woman attraction for a man anyway. In other words, it most likely hasn't registered with her on a conscious level yet (but it will eventually if you continue). So, if you begin behaving with strength & confidence you can somewhat easily turn this around. So, next time she pulls away, let her go. Stay strong & let her come to you at her own pace. Now that she's used to you chasing after her when she pulls away, & you don't do it next time, she's really going to take notice.
@SublimeLullaby
4 жыл бұрын
How about « I’m sorry for everything, I wish you the best, thank you for everything » 🙄
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to...
@futureboyy4422
3 жыл бұрын
Not the best idea...
@denismelvin222
4 жыл бұрын
Good afternoon Eric, I like your video's! Very professional! These days I watch your video's time and time again. So that I remain calm as my girlfriend has pulled away. I feel like I have made a big mistake in helping her financially. To the sum of £3,000 over the last 12 months. Now she only opens my WhatsApp messages every 2 to 3 days to reply to me. Which I find is very rude and disrespectful, after all the help that I gave her! And should I be waiting the same length of time to respond to her messages? Thanks once again Eric.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
You usually want to save your financial help for women whom you have a commitment with. The fact that she only opens your message every 2-3 days tells me that she's not that committed to you, despite you doing something nice for her. Women operate differently than us; you rarely build up credit with them. They have a much more "what have you done for me lately" attitude. So, be sure to stop helping her financially until you're convinced that she's committed to you. She is being rude, but that's because you have allowed it at some point, or currently. So, she has the idea that she can get away with this & you will still be there for her whenever she needs you or wants your validation. So, yes...I would begin to mirror her level effort that she puts into you until she begins to make it clear that you are wanted & desired by her. You don't want to come across as passive aggressive, so mix up your response times. But, if she's waiting 2-3 days to respond to you, you want to wait AT LEAST 24 hours before you even consider responding. You want to see yourself as the prize, & once you get into that mindset &behave in that way, she will begin treating you as such, but only as long as she already values you.
@denismelvin222
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you ever so much Eric, very good information! I forgot to mention that we have not seen each other in over 3 months now due to the restriction in movement because of the Coronavirus. So perhaps she has got a little fed up messaging me. And I must say that it can get a little mundane. We have got another 2 weeks to go before we can see each other. Thanks once again!
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
@@denismelvin222 That could definitely have something to do with it. Women get bored very easily & a bored woman will lose interest. This doesn't mean that it cannot be turned around, however. Next time you hear from her, perhaps arrange a skype/FaceTime date. This way you can at least be a bit romantic face to face (as much as you can be face to face in this situation). The idea is to treat it as a real date & not just a random video chat, which will bore her. So, dress up, light candles, cook dinner together, share some wine...whatever you do on dates. If she cares, she will most likely find this quite clever & romantic.
@denismelvin222
4 жыл бұрын
Very good advice! Eric, thank you so much for your time. You have been ever so helpful! Kind regards.
@plgj7
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks Do you think this applies even in social media like messenger chat conversation? Like building to get a number? Like I had conversations where this girl was answering all my questions did give some space between messages. I asked what her interest were and got no response!
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, same thing for the most part; at least in terms of how you handle it. Sometimes girls test you to see if you're going to have an emotional reaction to whatever she does, or doesn't do. When you react emotionally you lose a few points with her, ultimately lowering her attraction. On the other hand, you responding with indifference when she does stuff like this actually makes you more attractive, because it communicates emotional strength & confidence.
@plgj7
3 жыл бұрын
@@SkillofAttraction thank you for your response and time
@blackpanter9572
4 жыл бұрын
Reason # 101: Because you pushed her away with your insecurity attachment style.
@SkillofAttraction
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, exactly!
@kevinjugo1547
5 ай бұрын
How about in my situation, my girlfriend is pulling away because she is grieving. Shes not mesaging me anymore, should i go no contact? Or do i need to contact her regularly, im confused. Please i need help, thanks
@SkillofAttraction
5 ай бұрын
Women will act on their current emotional state. So, in this case, she's not pulling away for the typical reasons. She's doing it due to grief. So I recommend that you reach out to her occasionally just to check in & see how she's doing. Don't complain about her lack of investment & just give her a little space. When she her mood begins to perk up a bit, then you plan a date. The trick here is to not pressure her, you try to stay upbeat, & just be patient, letting her come to you. For future reference, please see the pinned comment.
@kevinjugo1547
4 ай бұрын
We are actually in long distance relationship and she said she wants space for everything/everyone (i assumed including me) she said she wants to focus on herself. Im not chasing her, im actually doing what you said in your videos "when she pulls away, dont do this" and other videos of you regarding to pulling away. How often is occasionally do you suggest sir. Thanks
@gabrielcharriez6257
Жыл бұрын
Thanks! I kinda fucked up with this girl I was dating and I was wondering what I should do. We’ve been seeing each other for almost 2 months and have already had sex multiple times just for context but i usually am always pushing for it when I see. When we went on our last date she had an argument with a friend that she’s had issues with in past and it got her very upset but I didn’t know how much. We were supposed to go bowling but she didn’t want to do that and I said that her two options are bowling or going to a motel. She didn’t like that and she ended the date early. The next day, she told that that she did a lot of thinking and thinks we should stop talking after that and that if I want to stay in her life that we could be friends. We talked on the phone and it seems like I made her feel like I was just using her for sex. I apologized to her and explained why I did it but it was bad timing on my part and that it wasn’t true because of all of the stuff we talked about and just generally how I acted with her. I told her I’d give her space but that I can’t be her friend and if she changes her mind to lmk. Is there anything I could’ve done better or anything I should be doing?
@SkillofAttraction
Жыл бұрын
Thanks again for the Superthanks! I explained what i believe happened here & how it would've been better to handle the situation in your other comment. However, if you find yourself pushing for sex, it's usually because you're not creating the correct tension for her to want it without having to be pushed into it. Yes, as the man you have to gently push her boundaries sexually, but you also have to make her feel comfortable about it, not make her feel used or cheap about it, & build that sexual tension. Also, as a little tip, never apologize unless you actually did something wrong. In this case, I wouldn't call what you did wrong...you just put a little too much pressure on her. So, if you run into this again, don't apologize...or at least don't say the words "I'm sorry". This shows weakness & that she's too important to you. Instead, perhaps say something more like, "You're right. I was a little presumptuous, but let's not let that get in the way of a wonderful connection". This way you sound strong, confident & you're still taking the lead.
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