Question: in the example that you just gave, aren't you just giving implicit agreement of someone's idea when you don't infact agree with it? It's great to make people feel validated but it shouldn't come at the expense of going along with whatever they're saying.
@ShadeZahrai
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for the question. I'll give you 2 examples of replies in the context of how to substitute 'but' with 'and' in the context of collaborating with someone that's disagreeable and has equal or more power - without having to agree. USING BUT "We could re-hire contractor X because they're familiar with our site protocols BUT they're expensive and a little slow. I think we can find better deals." USING AND "We could look at rehiring contractor X since they're already familiar with our work-site, AND just to make sure we're getting good value with timely delivery, let's get a couple of other quotes from reputable contractors who are also familiar with our type of worksites." Hope this helps!
@PapaRora
Жыл бұрын
How are you so amazing! Where were you in my 20s?!! Better late than never!
@honzareality
Жыл бұрын
@@ShadeZahrai I learn this in Never split the difference :-) And I use it ever since.
@KeshavBhola1008
Жыл бұрын
👁️
@KBS_ar
Жыл бұрын
I prefer to use less words and be straight to the point. People need be less sensitive I will say it in a polite and soft voice tho. - Khaled alharbi 25 Jeddah, ksa
@aritrasur2682
3 жыл бұрын
Honesty and clarity of communication is much more important than making someone feel good all the time
@sunofpeter2
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah is that you tried making everyone feel better all the time? Then it fell apart before your progress was made? Good thing you found this gem of a communicator as she shows a better way. Good luck chum hope you figure out where you went wrong.
@JeEL2610
Жыл бұрын
indeed
@sstein4777
Жыл бұрын
Agreed. Especially using such long sentences that unveil how hard you are trying and make you look fake in the end
@alfacentauri3686
Жыл бұрын
"Yes, if ..." would be a better answer. You don't create an obstacle with a "but", you just set a criteria for the idea to be accepted.
@ShadeZahrai
Жыл бұрын
If your only aim is to make the person happy by telling them what they want to hear then it's not collaboration and it's disingenuous. Only through the clash of ideas can you have the sparks of truth. Note - not the clash of people. Depersonalize the ideas. In a situation when you need the person to collaborate - leading them to open their mind to new possibilities (not necessarily agreeing) instead of dismissing their perspective can be more influential. You can (and should) absolutely be honest and clear.
@fixinfkinsandwiches6183
4 ай бұрын
Her voice is so perfect.
@eng-ishow
3 ай бұрын
Bro this is made by ai
@notperfect005
2 ай бұрын
Yeah "voice"
@Brandon-kp5to
Ай бұрын
@@fixinfkinsandwiches6183 bonk
@benli3278
23 күн бұрын
@@eng-ishow really?
@muaviyakmr29
20 күн бұрын
@@benli3278 yup,.luk at her other vdeos
@utkarshaggarwal1631
3 жыл бұрын
You completely changed the answer from not accepting their suggestion to accepting it. It's better to be assertive than just agreeing with everything
@gurindersingh8109
3 жыл бұрын
You are wrong. When someone say something how can you instantly conclude about its true impact? A professional would try gather more facts about an argument before taking a decision. Decision is expensive, you can't deliver it like an instant coffee. Therefore encourage and applaud every bit of info when you hear it first. Think
@utkarshaggarwal1631
3 жыл бұрын
@@gurindersingh8109 what if that opinion has already been tried just like the answer she gave herself in the video suggesting that it didn't work ....I agree with the "thinking" and making a decision part. But you need not think if the idea is repeated for a similar situation in the past where it didn't work.
@kartikpanjabi6801
3 жыл бұрын
@@utkarshaggarwal1631 yeah that's true but here she is more tallking about conversation skills that we are used a lot without any conscious thinking. You know like after every yes and but people don't like to hear rest of the things
@aunkanmandal360
Жыл бұрын
Just say yes instead of no ,super simple. Everyone will like you.
@ujjwalrocks
4 ай бұрын
You are so articulate. I am hooked on hearing you talk
@animeshorts057
3 сағат бұрын
Her smile is adorable for me
@andrewdressler6173
3 жыл бұрын
All this stuff sounds great until you actually get into a workplace and realize that everyone is an idiot, and you decide its easier just to join them.
@extrawhy
3 жыл бұрын
To much truth for one comment.
@ankurmehrotra6506
Жыл бұрын
There is a book on communication which is called 'surrounded by idiots'
@chimmeriri
Жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@tessa7778
Жыл бұрын
😂😂
@astronautonmars
Жыл бұрын
Faxx 😂😂😂😂
@sailboatlighthouse
3 жыл бұрын
In my age and not shy from learning the wisdom of this young lady, great job and keep it up
@vanzylw1
3 жыл бұрын
This woman is a champion ! Imagine spending 3 months with her, gaining momentum and developing yourself, to position yourself as new CEO
@SRSGAMER07
3 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂
@SRSGAMER07
3 жыл бұрын
but true
@quasiosa
3 жыл бұрын
Only your mind will change to be CEO not position actually, but you may become that soon, based on your current position if you continue the mindset.
@manjeetmondal220
3 ай бұрын
new ceo in dream world😂😂😂
@eugenek777
22 күн бұрын
I'm ready to feel myself as a CEO by spending a night with her
@rohitjagtap14
Жыл бұрын
I am excessively impressed by your delivery, the way you talk and all your mannerism is something that I admire a lot. Including all the little things you do, like you have a content smile while you talk, and all the hand gestures. Your face radiates positivity and your enthusiasm. That is something I'll like to add in my personality. And, your immense knowledge about the topic, its like icing on the cake.
@jonathand.terrell3419
8 ай бұрын
This lady is exceptional in communication skills. Love her channel!!
@sonalshukla9447
3 жыл бұрын
I feel the vibe from the book: Win friends and Influence People
@cybereye911
Жыл бұрын
Your voice is soo soothing 😢
@rajneeshpant5284
3 жыл бұрын
Shade I must say you really understand communication so well .. really inspiring ideas & modifications..
@fabricciodominic7473
Жыл бұрын
haha
@stevenbest6470
3 жыл бұрын
This lady is brilliant. Thanks much for words of wisdom. Best wishes.
@SpiritXd5
2 жыл бұрын
We need more people like you on this planet earth...
@fabricciodominic7473
Жыл бұрын
with good fronts?
@HighonInternet
Жыл бұрын
@@fabricciodominic7473 😂
@nourhanmegahedmahmoud4252
8 ай бұрын
I discovered that i do this unintentionally since last year since i started thinking positively about stuff and it really does work magic in perspective not just for people who are around u but for u as well
@abdullahabbas975
3 жыл бұрын
I find your videos to be very thorough and well versed. Your videos blend human pscychology and work place code very well.
@teminoah2960
Жыл бұрын
Super correct. Constructive criticism fosters team spirit, collaboration which inturn increase performance and productivity
@youthwave
13 күн бұрын
Your body language reflects color, charm, and shine. Beautiful video. Subscribed.
@TV-pe9lk
2 ай бұрын
and you can also do that to yourself to learn from mistakes. Genius ! Thank you!
@vikramtv-insights...8959
Жыл бұрын
You are a true influencer .... Others are just entertainers ... Respect....👍🙏
@BeeDingaling
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you...just little tips like this can totally change the tone of delivery
@mohammadmehdi2305
3 жыл бұрын
Your conversation shows that your personality is very high. You are such a nice person.
@mayurvakare5930
5 ай бұрын
Honestly, You just talk with my heart💖 Loved your communication skill✨
@samuel12345678922
3 жыл бұрын
Where were you 10 years ago... All these teaching are beneficial , God bless you kind heart 💓
@micha8255
3 жыл бұрын
I clicked her video once, now I'm seeing suggestions from her all the time "and" I'm not regretting that. Such a nice change after all those almost naked girls from tick tock. Prove that besides having a good look you can also share something useful with people to be noticed 😘
@phillipsantana2633
4 ай бұрын
So true it also puts you in team mode as mentioned validate the thought but build on it by substituting and. It's much better.
@Savageclown2093
Ай бұрын
One of my favorite ideas out there, I learned this from a book I read in college last year called - Yes, And. This has such a positive effect..!
@micahdooley2729
Ай бұрын
That’s great advice! Thank you. ❤
@ShadeZahrai
Ай бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@nayeemakhtar2332
Жыл бұрын
Yes I agree, and make sure you are learning to make good videos that didn't work last time ❣️
@stefanociamarra2505
Жыл бұрын
Great tip! we all need more straight forward, more positive and less sugar-coating interactions in our lives!
@rahul-yr
3 жыл бұрын
I am just watching your videos, just because of your facial expressions 😃
@lahongwan4440
11 ай бұрын
Yes your advice is so true and on point. Some times I fel it only me learning all the nice things from you, and others continue to invalidate me. Thank you Shade for your help thanks you again.👍👍🙏❤️
@vivekanandan1882
Жыл бұрын
Yes, this is what my friends have to see before talking to me.
@oluwasegunphilip5467
Ай бұрын
Definitely learned from this🙏🏾 Thank you Ma'am
@user-wi6bl4pb3r
2 ай бұрын
I’m in love with her voice
@Yogeshjain84
3 жыл бұрын
Ur voice is very nice, so soothing..
@everenigmatic5805
3 жыл бұрын
"AND will it work just like last time? AND what have we learned from it?"
@Adeosisamson-ci3pt
10 ай бұрын
Shade, you're the best. Love your input, always.
@DaveSy
3 жыл бұрын
I mean it’s a fundamental improv technique. It could work in many scenarios as long as ‘the reasons it didn’t work last time’ are discussed and something changes (testing a new variable).
@SP-Steel
Жыл бұрын
It's better to tell upfront if something is going to work or not. I don't beat around the bush, and go straight to the point. I appreciate if others do the same to me. Feeling validated is a secondary issue.
@ShadeZahrai
Жыл бұрын
Sometimes it's also smart to be tactical to influence. Acknowledging and opinion doesn't mean agreeing to the person's opinion or not being clear. We all prefer to do it our way but that's not always effective. Different tools for different situations.
@dailydefaults
8 ай бұрын
Nice! Dale Carnegie taught me this as well
@curlsbyalexa
6 ай бұрын
These very very small details are everything. The world would be a better place if people placed importance on choosing how to think and communicate for the betterment of others and themselves
@ohanthemoneydoctor
4 ай бұрын
From negative to positive 💯
@saianihami
Жыл бұрын
But to and- negative to positive plus acknowledge their ideas. 👏
@pawanbains4787
11 ай бұрын
That is very good way to exchange words
@antararaman3879
3 жыл бұрын
Loved it! perfect use of words
@efhurtado
Жыл бұрын
This is an excellent example of improving communication skills and, most importantly, how properly recorded sound can make a short video exciting. Good job!
@TheNetflixNook
Жыл бұрын
the language we use is one of the easiest ways to create a positive change. even small changes like asking for "assistance" opposed to "help" can have a dramatic impact on the way we think and interact with others.
@larrybird3729
3 жыл бұрын
loving these shorts🎉🎉🎉
@TwbUmayr
Жыл бұрын
Yes, keep it positive and optimistic to encourage stakeholders towards the problem solving.
@souhityogupta7704
Жыл бұрын
Your contents are literally transforming people ... Love and respect to you Ma'am from India
@EMPNETWORKS
9 ай бұрын
that is genius! great. ya got a sub
@MusicExcellence
9 ай бұрын
Thank you so much. This is very inspiring 💛🧡💚
@piyaliwalia2154
3 жыл бұрын
U R Awesome and M really appreciate ur suggestions
@ShadeZahrai
3 жыл бұрын
So nice of you. Thank you 😊
@orolimomov5866
Жыл бұрын
My mentor used to use it all the time in the class. Even if your understanding is totally incorrect, he would start with " yes, that is right and " tell the correct answer. That makes you fell good.
@kreenpananas
Жыл бұрын
What I enjoy about this is that it also mirrors that of improv where the one rule is “Yes, and”. Meaning Yes I acknowledge your idea AND I offer this. It’s that brick on brick thinking. I dig it and how it strengthens collaboration and creative ideas. 🎉
@poorvachauhan
10 ай бұрын
I saw you and instantly felt connection ❤
@alistacks283
5 ай бұрын
I would be honest and say "Thanks for your suggestion, it shows your dedication. I believe my idea might align better with our objectives. Let's discuss further though"
@inuwabajoga4376
Жыл бұрын
Communication is the best way to understand people
@BearerOfLightSonOfGod
Жыл бұрын
For some bizarre reason I like the way she talks not sure why but I can understand her more that other people.
@ngo73221nc
2 ай бұрын
You have excellent communication skills. My wording are terrible and I’ll use your technique
@BillJamesWallace
4 ай бұрын
Great vid! I use AND all the time! (well, maybe not ALL the time) but I do try! It totally opens up the conversation.
@techturnerco
Жыл бұрын
Amazing Audio Output!
@majidsyed5151
Ай бұрын
….and it didn’t work last time … and we can learn from what didn’t work last time Definitely the second approach is setting one self to more positive thinking
@Fairisfairhg
Жыл бұрын
With your voice that “And” will go along way.
@shivafoods007
Жыл бұрын
I believe in straight forward communication
@gladstoneb879
7 ай бұрын
Yes..communication is key.😊
@theamplifiedbustle4251
Жыл бұрын
I am from India. I have learned alot to this channel.
@facep4lm755
Ай бұрын
She didnt change her answer. She replied yes in the first example and yes in the second. What changed was the wording of her reply so she adds what seems as a suggestion to avoid what happened wrong" last time". Its a very slight change but makes her tone completely different which is why most people in the comments are confused.
@JCBurdenLifter
Жыл бұрын
What an amazing piece of advice! Thank you!
@jancsi-vera
2 ай бұрын
Thank you. I like this idea - a subtle approach.
@popcornMD
Жыл бұрын
You and your voice.......ohhhhh ❤️❤️❤️
@consciouschirag
7 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing such useful content. You add so much value & make it look so easy at the same time. We need more Women Leaders Like Yourself. Such A Role Model. 👏👏👏
@pembanurbusherpa6179
3 жыл бұрын
I love your voice 😍💕
@albert2090
3 жыл бұрын
I second that….
@metalrage3355
3 жыл бұрын
As a manager, I can't use that term cause that would still be acceptance to a rejected idea darling.
@robertweekley5926
3 жыл бұрын
metal rage - Then, maybe it could go like this: "And if we can fit that in, with some extra planning, and other ideas are not working, we probably could give it some serious thought!" 🤔😳
@fabricciodominic7473
Жыл бұрын
it doesnt matter, this is youtube fun
@stevenreynolds6697
9 ай бұрын
So working together we all win-win
@vadym_mysiv
3 ай бұрын
It’s the first video that popped up and I already love ur language. Wise idea 👑💯
@ShadeZahrai
3 ай бұрын
I appreciate that
@abdeliq3972
3 жыл бұрын
Your knowledge is awesome🙏Thank you for this free knowledge you're passing on. I never learned this at school.
@rezaf7086
3 ай бұрын
❤that's right Doci Doci❤
@localppcartist
11 ай бұрын
Suggestion and ..."Think" to me seems like the key word that the response is free to respond with an opinion( suggestion) It's not a contractual agreement.
@mostofakamal8981
2 жыл бұрын
Your way of taking is just amazing 😍
@ammadyousaf7031
Жыл бұрын
thanks for confirming i am using this tips for last 3 years and i can also agree that it always works no matter where you are whom you were talking it is a nice tip of communication
@ammadyousaf7031
Жыл бұрын
I was waiting for this heart emoji notification ❤ Many thanks
@robbynv9900
Жыл бұрын
Your advice is so awesome and on point.
@kittik493
2 ай бұрын
Right, Thanks Shade
@marytes3758
2 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@crazymaths23
Жыл бұрын
You are super simple. I like the way you put it.
@Scoobie..
Жыл бұрын
Didn't Understood But Feels Good After Listening This😅
@abhishek-5221
Жыл бұрын
after she completed me:- Oh..sorry, You're Saying Something
@Scoobie..
Жыл бұрын
@@abhishek-5221 😆😆🤝
@abhishek-5221
Жыл бұрын
@@Scoobie.. 🤜
@physician4541
Жыл бұрын
Most amazing voice tone I’ve heard!
@samuelluz9241
Жыл бұрын
Game changer honestly . thanks for the life hack
@vixenvalenzuela
Жыл бұрын
You have no idea how many people need to learn this… it’s sad to see out in the real world esp when ppl have low self esteem and they shut down
@TheJagadishcherukuri
2 жыл бұрын
Excellent... I am in love with the way you explain complex things in a very simple manner along with an example... keep up the good work
@mangosorbet8183
8 ай бұрын
Great tip. I happen to me and many people I know !! Great tip for the communication
@DistortedShelf0
6 ай бұрын
Use "but", as it's a completely valid conjunction. Just swap the clauses so the nice part comes after. Also, don't be objective... share vulnerable emotions. "Well, I'm worried because it didn’t work last time... but, I like your idea. Maybe if we make some tweaks it could work really well!" People have been so afraid of saying "but" recently lmao. Smh my head fr real 🤦♂️💯❓️
@im_preetamkumar
Жыл бұрын
You are really speaking well ... Your Communication is impressive, you sounds like that robot speaks for Google Voice!!
@deepak2012able
Жыл бұрын
Thankyou 🙏
@ShadeZahrai
Жыл бұрын
You’re welcome 😊
@captainmcface9393
4 ай бұрын
That's good advice, and if you use it you will have to endure another round of bad experience once again. Buy hey, at least you kept the other person happy!
@username774
Жыл бұрын
Yes I have also heard in a audiobook of how to win friends and influence people
@barunjena6171
3 жыл бұрын
I will do one better: prove their idea wrong with facts... IN FRONT OF EVERYONE 😂
@pathmor
3 жыл бұрын
I like the way you think
@Aniket2712
3 жыл бұрын
There is something called "team work"
@kenbomar375
3 жыл бұрын
I think you missed the intent of the tik tok. The point is to enlist engagement and collaboration not to shred and dehumanize people from participating in a team effort. I hope you can think about this for a while and discover the greater benefit to you of winning people over.
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