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Communication Problems In Marriage | 5 Common Communication FAILURES In Marriage
Five communication breakdowns in marriages. This video is all about communication issues that I see in marriages everyday.
My name is Coach Adrian and I'm a relationship coach. I have helped individuals and couples over the last decade to find sustainable solutions to lasting happiness in love. With all this experience I've seen a lot of common mistakes that people make and relationships start to break down in their marriage as a result. I'd like to share five common mistakes that I see each and every day and to help you communicate more effectively with the man or the woman that you love.
The first mistake that I see is that people too often seek to be understood and not to understand their significant other. You get too caught up in communicating your distress, how you feel, why you're resentful that you forget to understand how your partner feels, why they act the way they do, why they continue to berate you for the same things over and over again.
This inability to put yourself in your partner's shoes is also preventing them from putting themselves in your shoes. It is a conflict type of situation that is at play here and you need to break the destructive cycle. It is up to you to be able to relate and to empathize to what they are going through in order to inspire them to not be defensive anymore.
The second common mistake that I see is people constantly and continuously bringing up the past. You bring up past mistakes, you keep harping on things that your partner may have done months or years ago and as a result you can't move forward. Communication breaks down because you sound like a broken record and your partner will tell you that they've heard this before.
Another common issue is zeroing in and focusing on your partner's shortcomings. You are not praising them, you are not thankful you're not appreciative, you're not in a gratefulness, gratitude type of mindset, you just focused on their wrongs and when you criticize constantly and continuously, when you shed a light only on the things that they don't do well, resentment starts to build up and they will mirror your behavior. They'll seek to defend themselves and to give you a taste of your own medicine and that it's a recipe for disaster. You can kind of check yourself and see in real time when communication is breaking down if you start a sentence by saying, "You always do this," or "You never do that," or if you say, "Every single time that..." those are clear indicators that you are about to criticize, that you live in the past and you're focused on your partner's shortcomings. "You always, you never," and "Every single time" are clear key indicators that communication has broke down in your marriage. I urge you to stop yourself, to take a step back and to try to build bridges instead of being focused on this conflict that won't ever be resolved.
You need to bring yourself to account too because, again, you can only control what you do. By bringing yourself to account, by striving to be better, by learning from your mistakes, and by breaking these destructive cycles and patterns, you can create the type of relationship that you always wanted to be in. But it takes effort, it takes hard work and we are here to help. That is precisely why we've created Happily Committed. It is a movement of wonderful people all over the world who are fighting the good fight, who are putting virtues and values at the forefront of their lives, and building relationships and marriages that they can be proud of, for the right reasons, not letting your passions, your ego, and your selfish desires get in the way. So be part of this movement. Subscribe to our KZitem channel, leave your thoughts your comments in the comment section below, and like this video if you've enjoyed it. For Happily Committed, I'm Coach Adrian. Thank you for tuning in and see you soon.
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