There was a time videos like these would trigger me so much into either crying or anger, but now I do household chores and nod my head accepting the validation Ive always needed. For anyone reading this, it does get better. The time it takes is unique to your situation. Dont rush it and take the info in small pieces and build on that. It does get better 🕊
@blessingsfromheaven8445
11 ай бұрын
I am feeling so alone in this but here's the thing I attended a support group it's literally taken 2 years but I have stuck with it and I feel like I'm finally willing to deal with whatever deep pain is down there. But it honestly feels like no one understands -I just feel when I open up sometimes they don't really get it. The hardest part is knowing that there has been growth in these last two years even though it feels like I'm going backwards but one of the hardest things is my other family members I cannot talk to them about getting help they don't want it.
@Jess-kn8vl
11 ай бұрын
@blessingsfromheaven8445 I hear you, there are many layers and aspects of trauma that resurface and have to be sorted through. These videos explain the dynamics the best. I also follow "We need to talk with Kris Godinez", "Dr. Ramani" and "Dr. Carter" here on youtube the most. As far as family members go which has been explained in one of these videos is that the family knows that you are sick with either PTSD or addiction but they also cant handle when you get better. It exposes their dysfunction if the "scapegoat" heals. I think its subconscious on their part. I had to go no contact with many people. I think the hardest part for me is realizing I was being sabatoged and there wasnt as much wrong with me as I thought there was. Thank you for sharing 💜🕊
@AmberAshley641
7 ай бұрын
I feel this comment on a soul level. Some days I can hear these messages. Some days it’s too much and I’m not ready to look at it. I try to come back when I feel that way.
@fairygurl9269
6 ай бұрын
Well Put Respect ✌️
@teemadarif8243
3 ай бұрын
lol yep
@junemichaels6668
6 жыл бұрын
I've just discovered your series last night and I cannot stop watching, all through the night. Brillant. The most valuable education and guidance I've ever received through many decades in therapy. I feel hopeful for the first time. Thank you.
@umargamer5550
5 жыл бұрын
Me to
@daveco4781
3 жыл бұрын
Me too. How is it going for you?
@jeannieneuser5316
3 жыл бұрын
Me too! Omg, today I was able to stay calm in conflict and actually speak for myself with confidence. Considering that I only found Tim yesterday, binge-listened yesterday + today, and spent most of yesterday in grief over all that I learned... I'd say it's going well. 🤨😛😘 You guys?
@janwisz4070
Жыл бұрын
Same here. Countless therapists and a few psychiatrists and none of them even mentioned this. For most of my life I’ve believed that I was fatally flawed in an unfixable way
@AyleseW
Жыл бұрын
Agreed, education needs to expand and fast! Also great resource is book Surviving complex PTSD by Pete Walker and book Healing from Developmental Trauma and books by Peter Levine on working to resolve trapped trauma inside the nervous syatem.
@danmalone5365
5 жыл бұрын
I stayed out of relationships because I knew there was something wrong with me I just didn't know what the term complex PTSD pretty much sums it up. Have a lovely day
@SpiritualStuntman
Жыл бұрын
I love you Dan, you're perfect ❤
@despicabledavidshort3806
Жыл бұрын
I wish is known there was something wrong with me. I was married and divorced 3xs, but I've been single now for 16-17 years.
@danmalone5365
Жыл бұрын
@@despicabledavidshort3806 When I was younger before anything went wrong. That's all I wanted was to be married have children having a home. At 22 years old, my wife and I purchased our first home. We had one child my daughter who was 6 months old at the time. A year and half later our 2nd child was born, my son. 11 months later, my wife took off with another man very nasty divorce and intertwined psychological abusive time. She gave me full custody of both our children, my daughter was 2 and my son was 11 months old. Like a fool I got married again right away. That relationship lasted maybe 2 years or less. She resented the fact I had children and she was stuck at that time taking care of them because she didn't have a job and I was paying the bills. So there I was married and divorced twice within a 5 year. I was 24 years old when I was given full custody of our children from my first marriage. My first ex-wife just didn't step out of the picture she was involved for another 24 years only because that was the kids mom. At the same time, my ex-mother-in-law from my first marriage. My first wife's mother was hell on wheels. She wanted me to give the custody of my children to her. I said no, I will raise my children. She blew a gasket. I spent the next 10 years in an out-of-court constantly harassed turned into DSHS sued banks and mortgage companies, insurance companies my church my work. Until the woman had a massive heart attack and died. It felt like some weight was lifted from my back. The wicked witch was dead. But my ex-wife was or had become a hard-core drug addict one crazy situation after another for the next 24 years until she blew her head off with a high-powered rifle. I was always attracted to the same screwed up women like me. But just in a different way hateful, vengeful, bitter women just like my mom. Who was married to a explosive man. My dad who threw fits of rage at the slightest trigger in his environment. My dad was neurodivergent ADHD, SCT dyslexic. At the time I didn't understand my dad, but late in life because of an automobile accident I was in I finally understood him. After World War II in Germany. My dad was part of the team who disarmed bombs. Something went wrong. He woke up under 2 inches of dirt and there was a 40 foot hole where his team once was. He was the only survivor. It rattled his noodle he was neurologically damaged. Adding to complications to his neurodivergent complications just added to the confusion. Now suffering from PTSD back in those days it wasn't talked about. My mom was mentally ill, as a result of sexual abuse. She was emotionally shamed because she was pregnant at 13 from a pedophile who had been sexually abusing her since she was 11 years old. Those things were swept under the rug back in those days. I was my mom's confident. I think they refer to it as covert incest. She would confide in me things I didn't understand. I was just a kid. Then there was all kinds of other sibling issues as a result of that a very dysfunctional family a blow apart family. I'm 70 years old today my kids are raised they are both married. I have grandchildren. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to get through traumatic childhood abuses in my case, it was at home and in school later in life the church. Today my home is paid for a stay close to my children. I garden do lapidary work. I build garden planter boxes and whatever else needs to be done full-time maintenance man. When things get a little boring I get on my electric bike and ride places. I enjoy in nature piece and quiet, no more drama. Life as a pack mule with blinders.
@sweetpea7362
Жыл бұрын
@@danmalone5365 Wow the story of your life could be a book. Im going through a separation heading towards a divorce and Tim has helped me understand how I got into this situation. For so long I blamed my partner for his destructive ways not seeing that I also was drawn to him and have my own childhood trauma. This work on myself is so difficult reliving the trauma of my childhood. But everyday I feel better, stronger, more independent. I have to break this cycle of abuse and show my children better than what we were both shown. Thanks for your power story. It was helpful.
@oreokid77
5 ай бұрын
There's nothing wrong with u. If u had a car that drove messed up and you found out that it needs an alignment, a tire has a bubble and it needs a tune up. It isn't wrong. It needs attention. The previous owners didn't understand maintenance so you get to make it better than new again.
@user-ge6uo2ry2b
Жыл бұрын
I had one parent who made fun of my face daily. She would say specific things about features and call me ugly. I had to undress in order to have my temp taken almost until driving age. My mail was opened, doors open while getting undressed and phone calls listen in on from another phone in the house. Sometimes I had to wear dads clothes to school, as a child, because mom spent all the money on herself. Other parent was an alcoholic who brutalized some of the kids but not all. I was one of them. They would trick you, get you into a room and unleash hell. The other parent joined in so it looked like a wrestling match with both adults tearing the kid apart. I tried calling the police, the pediatrician Dr, going to neighbors. No one believed us. No one helped. Unpacking this in middle age. Thank you Tim Fletcher.
@Maureenieee
Жыл бұрын
No one helped me and my sister either. I told everyone and they just told him that I told on him. I'm almost 52 and everything is still so fucked up. I wish you peace and love
@user-ge6uo2ry2b
Жыл бұрын
@@Maureenieee thank you and same to you...I dont want to be a victim...trying hard too to forgive and accept. watch Tyler Perry's testimony on Oprah about growing up. It helps.. ❤
@sirenachantal471
10 ай бұрын
I don’t like using the word victim for anyone who is alive. You’re a survivor, regardless of the type of abuse you suffered. I reserve “victim” only for those who died.
@motiveperson143
8 ай бұрын
For 19 years my sister treated me badly she will a times beat me up and remove my clothes saying "Give me my clothes I was the one who bought for you" omg at 25 years old I came to realize she f my life really bad. Sorry buddy for what happened to you May we all heal Amiin.
@angelamossucco2190
4 ай бұрын
😢 (may you be safe now and always on)
@user-cb7cz3ty5p
2 ай бұрын
I always knew that my narsissistic schizophrenic troubled mother horrible treatment of me as a little girl had an impact on my brain but i didnt know where in my brain exactly. I couldnt focus in maths physics and chemistry subjects that need a lot of concentration. I did do well in languages. Thank God and that saved me bcz am an english teacher. I struggled in my relationships they were all a mess. I couldnt form a normal relationship and now am all alone and sick and tired of it. I know mother was sick but she neglected me, abused me verbally, emotionally, and physically, i felt not wanted , rejected , abandoned , and worthless and undeserving of love. Now in my mid thirties am so ready to heal these wounds because i am over letting them control my life. I want better and now i realise i deserve better
@branan6935
Ай бұрын
Hello, our stories are quite similar. I too wasn't able to concentrate in mathematics and physics but languages saved me. I also teach English now. I'm also in my mid thirties and suffered neglect and abuse. I watched Tim Fletcher s series on shame and it resonated with me. It was as if he was talking about my experiences. I took a lot of notes and decided to start from there. In my country, we don't have access to quality psychological help so I will have to help myself.
@user-cb7cz3ty5p
Ай бұрын
@@branan6935 same here with me I did the same I am glad that someone knows what we've been through and is helping us heal.. somehow it feels less lonely let us keep in touch on our healing journey
@branan6935
Ай бұрын
@@user-cb7cz3ty5p yes, it helps to know that you're not alone on the journey. Hang in there. We will make it
@user-cb7cz3ty5p
Ай бұрын
@@branan6935 I hope so thank you, you hang in there too ok? You can do it let us do it 💪 we can sending you love light and joy
@edatatu2739
Ай бұрын
@user I'm so sorry to hear about your mother wound. You don't have to live her script. We grew up with very sick parents. You are beloved and worthy of love too 💕
@TV58957
5 ай бұрын
I lost who i believe was the greatest love of my life because im in trauma therapy and barely understanding all of this stuff. I feel deep regret and guilt for going into that relationship. Now I look crazy and toxic and I am a nurse and hurting others goes against my core value for humanity.
@MrBenbenbenbenny
2 жыл бұрын
These have been very helpful for understanding my wife's experience and why she interacts with me the way she does. Didn't realize the extent of her childhood trauma until recently and just starting to see how much it has affected the way she talks and interacts with me. Sadly I feel hurt to not be trusted or respected as much as I would like but I understand the root of it now. Hoping things turn around because it's pretty difficult being on the receiving end of this.
@yellowdayz1800
28 күн бұрын
I so wish to have met you... I married a reactionary abuser, he is a pschopathic man for sure. I will never think of marriage again. Unfortunately, finding someone untraumatized in our world is getting more and more bleak..
@jebeau83
6 күн бұрын
Trauma, the gift that keeps giving… Hang in there…
@warriorsoftheheart
5 жыл бұрын
My biggest issue is trust, I've never trusted anyone EVER... My biggest fear is dying alone.. :(
@boxelder9167
5 жыл бұрын
Roseanne - I discovered that I didn’t believe I could trust anyone while doing Cognitive Processing Therapy for PTSD. I am learning I can trust different people to different degrees. Most people I can trust to be exactly who they are. I have had to learn to give a little trust and see what they do with it. I wish you the best in your journey.
@j.s.1816
5 жыл бұрын
I have the same trust issues. Trusting tends to result in someone controlling and manipulating me. Soooo, I set boundaries and bam they move on or, in the case of my mom, they up the ante, so to speak. That's when she'd make threats (punishment) or withdraw and turn cold (silent treatment). As I got older and had more of my own resources, she tried to go through others, like going through an older sister. If I didn't want to go to a family thing (after I moved out), even having plans wasn't enough to say "No." She'd always ask what and when.
@DTRMtunes
4 жыл бұрын
I hope you find the courage to be able to trust again and wish you well on your journey x
@DarkMoonDroid
4 жыл бұрын
@Roseanne Yep. I'monna die alone too. My kids are dangerous. I don't want them near me. And there is no one else.
@daveco4781
3 жыл бұрын
I have far more fear to trust than to die alone. I am pretty much ok with dying alone. The fear for me is to live and trust humans. I love animals but have difficulty with trusting humans.
@mypersonaltestgia2704
10 ай бұрын
This one summed it all up for me (the devalue and burden)! My entire adult relationships have been about earning my value and causing massive self destruction the second I am disrespected. . Ughhhh. The healing begins NOW. TY FOR THIS.
@user-im9el4tq8k
Жыл бұрын
I have listened to this at least 50x. it never gets old, and I always learn something new
@Terence-wt2sj
Ай бұрын
I had a vasectomy when I was 22. Did not want to neglect a child the way I was neglected by alcoholic parents
@NicoleMolloy
Ай бұрын
same! i got my tubes removed a couple years ago. best decision i've ever made.
@stephencollins9062
3 күн бұрын
It could have been the best relationship you ever had Cause all they want to do is love you and have the best relationship with you Reverse it you won't be like they were to you. And you just want to be loved
@stellabandante2727
4 жыл бұрын
Your presentation is so powerful and informative. Wish I didn't feel like I was checking off every single item. It's kind of like swimming through sewage while someone tells you there is a shore there somewhere, so keep swimming. It's all so very sad, but feels true. Makes me want to be kind to everyone.
@despicabledavidshort3806
Жыл бұрын
Yes, I understand completely
@lxraycatmaui2884
Жыл бұрын
I love this man. He understands. He gets it. Wow☆!
@AmberAshley641
7 ай бұрын
Addiction is soooo many things. I remember feeling this way after I lost 170lbs and my family felt so angry at me. Like they were mad that I was self sufficient and they didn’t have to take care of me anymore. They were so mad I wasn’t sick. It hurt. I can see in myself why I stayed with my addiction ex. I wanted him to come with me in growth but he refused. I tried to drag him to health but it never worked. But also the dynamic of being the “normal one” was definitely there. I’ve played both sides. But I feel like that is the cycle of abuse. We can be the victim and the perpetrator depending on the situation.
@debbietodd8547
6 ай бұрын
Human relationships are a roller coaster ride of ups and downs...exhausting......at this point in my life I am so much better with casual chats with strangers. Animals I can trust. My trust/respect issues are Mt. Everest in proportion and well earned. Sad ? Maybe.....but I'm not willing to invest any more of MY life in watching back all the time. Mr. Fletcher, new to your channel and you have been the most helpful thing to cross my path in my entire life.
@debrakarr996
2 ай бұрын
Yes me too I was so messed up. I have been so blessed learning of tim about 3 mos ago. My whole life has added up more now then ever. I've been searching for answers for about 2 yrs now. This last 3 mos mind blowing. Learn heal grow that's where I'm at. U need to listen to a lady called crappy childhood u can learn from her to she's lived it. This shit is deep. Sorry u dig to much creates more anxiety as well. I'm not digging now I feel so much better. Good luck on ur journey.
@yellowdayz1800
28 күн бұрын
More and more high functioning autism out there and pschopaths, sociopaths... I know, that's why I am here. Good idea to stay alone. I think so to. Most men are corrupt now.
@starbright1400
2 жыл бұрын
Brilliant !! This blasts through decades of useless therapy and gets to the core.
@MsGroovalicious
4 жыл бұрын
God has blessed you with what you're doing and me for finding it. Shalom!
@angstrom1058
4 ай бұрын
This is amazingly good. Thanks!
@letsclaire-ify1791
2 жыл бұрын
You've just explained my whole life and the interpersonal issues I've experienced. Thanks so much for sharing online for free. X
@SoniaColonGuilfuchi
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your work. What a great contribution to understanding our makings.
@oar-N-oasis
4 ай бұрын
I was so tired being sick over a decade ago, I did try all the solutions till God opened my eyes to see the truth.
@starbright1400
2 жыл бұрын
its at 36:54 i knew my mother wanted me to stay sick - thank you for confirming this - you are a godsend
@Jess-kn8vl
Жыл бұрын
Holy cow, profound!
@CupNoodleKitty
Ай бұрын
I see my issues very clearly but I feel like I’m always 100% guilty for the failure of a relationship. It makes me chase and not able to let go
@dylanrupprecht4031
Ай бұрын
That is the shame speaking. The antidotes to shame is talking about what happened. Is allowing yourself the freedom to sit in the shit so the healing can happen. People who haven't experienced trauma throughout their childhood do not know how to hold space for someone who did, and maybe instead of saying something's wrong with us, maybe we can all agree something is wrong with society still
@natural3362
5 күн бұрын
I just found out that my body can only hold as much pain as I can handle. It will bring surface painful memories that needed to be released. I was always afraid of pain so i dissociated. For a long time, it brings me to many social problems. I've always have a flashback out of nowhere at anytime. When I was eating, reading etc. I realized this is how my body is telling me "hey there are past issues that needed to be released. They've been in me for a long time and I'm suffering from those memories". Then when i started to feel all my emotions, boy it hurts extremely to the point of having suicidal thoughts and self harm. I tried my usual numbing techniques such as maladaptive daydreaming, listening to songs, pacing back and forth it doesn't work. The pain is there So my only hope for the pain to stop is sleeping. I love sleeping with the mindset, "tomorrow will be better and will be less pain" I processed my feelings for at least 3 months and i noticed some improvement. There are days when i don't feel pain, 1 or 2 days and the next day the pain starts again. This means my body heals for a day or two before being ready to release pain I've done this for 1 year and 8 months and it gets better. My ability to read emotions gets better, my social interaction gets better. My ability to read sarcasm, mockery and social cues gets better. I can think with clarity. I have my true feelings with clarity. I can go back and review painful memories. After i processed them, i can see with clarity what happened, what went wrong, what should have been done and i forgive those people and i forgive myself and i give myself closure. I know it has healed when my body won't prompt me to release pain of the memories anymore Also i can detect the red flags from the traumatic memories. I know what people to avoid and i trust my body. When i healed fully, I'm ready to allow people that i find trustworthy in my life. If one of them betray me, I'll learn about their red flags and i won't allow people with the red flags to enter my life again. I'll also process the traumatic memories because i don't want to let the traumatic memories stay in my body. Because I'm in a safe situation and my body and emotions and feelings are safe from traumatic memories because i allow myself to feel emotions and release it
@animalliberationCLBB
5 ай бұрын
I used to like people.. Now I become a Person who almost dislikes human.. most of them are so selfish and just MEAN😢
@morrishamilton4624
5 жыл бұрын
This is excellent teaching with good examples and insight. It is worth your time and will help you to heal if you are willing.
@daveco4781
3 жыл бұрын
How are you doing? Would you say that you are healthy now? What were the most important points to heal? Thanks.
@donnag.3611
5 жыл бұрын
Sometimes Neurofeedback is used w/ CPTSD to help the brain regulate. Also, a good therapist who knows how to use EMDR for early traumas (baby & childhood) & in adult years as well. These things are missed in Christianity!!!
@despicabledavidshort3806
Жыл бұрын
"these things are missed in Christianity", who's, yours?
@spectershore4482
5 ай бұрын
Absolutely missed! 🙏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@babytiger123
3 жыл бұрын
The worst thing is not having parents, friends or partners that don't let us grow... the worst thing is to find a therapist who doesn't want us to grow and tries to keep the relationship where you will be sick forever
@susantalebzadeh9741
Жыл бұрын
I experienced this and the therapist absolutely traumatized me more
@spectershore4482
5 ай бұрын
For the therapist, it's the sickiest thing I'be heard !!😳😳
@spectershore4482
5 ай бұрын
I was about to book for the first time of my life... I'll wait because how can I found out the therapist is good or not !!?🤯🤯
@puresoul1368
5 жыл бұрын
Av also just found out this channel not long ago and unfortunately inspite of seeing the red flugs of being deceived over and over I told myself if I just help them see their wrong they would change. I gave myself that job of keeping them in check for the last two decades. I guess I was really messed to have entertained all these. Feel sad children are involved who they never wanted in the first place. I dint know how to get out but now I would realy love to but the situation is too complicated. Pray with me am 51 now.
@susantalebzadeh9741
Жыл бұрын
It’s never too complicated. At least get therapy if you can; with someone trauma informed and trained
@jacquiemccoll910
4 ай бұрын
There was obviously no hope of success in my marriage. Me suffering from complex trauma and I married someone with the same problem. Guess that makes me feel abit better now that I understand.
@Hawaiiansky11
6 ай бұрын
These videos help me so much with my own healing and also to have compassion and forgiveness for my beloved who was also severely traumatized.
@iw9338
5 жыл бұрын
Yes, siblings can rip us to shreds if we are not careful. As I started to stand up for myself they stayed away. I decided that I am fine without them. If I'm invited I only attend for an hour and make sure I have an excuse to leave.
@rebeccafarrell8239
Ай бұрын
Almost 2 years into recovery. What a interesting journey this has been.
@Terence-wt2sj
Ай бұрын
Had a vasectomy at 22 so I could not neglect a child like I was by alcoholic parents
@Squishy876
4 күн бұрын
I'm studying to be a therapist and I'm married to someone with CPTSD so this is really helpful
@animalliberationCLBB
5 ай бұрын
This is awesome❤ but shit it triggers me. A lot of Disrespect in my Life and I can't fight back.
@kerifernandez
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for making and posting these videos. The most valuable information I’ve ever gotten. Wow. Life changer. I need advice as to what kind of specialized therapy for religious abuse. I’m struggling. Thank you 🙏
@TimFletcher
4 жыл бұрын
We offer online counselling for that. You can email onlinecounselling@findingfreedom.ca
@christiethom6386
5 ай бұрын
Wow like he says people will think he followed people around with a video camera it will relate so much to alot of people's lives he's so amazing to know all this knowledge he's helped me alot in just a few weeks Thank you .
@motiveperson143
8 ай бұрын
God bless you Tim
@arianebennion
26 күн бұрын
I'm learning that unless he wants to change on his own then this is just a big waste of everyone's time.
@user-fq4zi4fu8m
5 ай бұрын
This single best video I’ve ever watched!!!
@mcadams518
2 жыл бұрын
yes!! almost all of my relationships have been shallow.
@rannerobin2787
6 ай бұрын
Tim, Thank you so much for all of your knowledge on Complex PTSD. You have helped me so much. I wonder if you can speak on the impact of intergenerational CT. I look at all the damage my parents did with ten children and can't help but believe that their parents inflicted CT on them.
@thecommonsensecapricorn
2 ай бұрын
Crazy you were making videos on this 7 years ago and most people haven’t heard of it til now.. many still haven’t. The worst affect of my complex PTSD is my fear of commitment/lack of being able to commit, while still wanting a family so bad. I don’t want to be non monogamous either, that whole thing feels weird to me. I just want to be able to commit and be happy with one person for my life but I can’t see that actually happening.
@foxiefair123
4 ай бұрын
Don’t get in a relationship in recovery the way he’s talking about. Please take it from me, I did that and me and the guy both had 2 weeks of sobriety. We got married and had a child. It was a nightmare. We both relapsed but I was worse. I have 10 years of sobriety now and my son is 21. Things turned out ok with him, but the situation between his dad and I were inexplicably bad. Please do not do this early in recovery.
@MasterNinjaXz
6 ай бұрын
Been really good shit listening tot his guy but he projects his voice a lot which is great for the room, but tough for me trying to listen going to sleep hahaha
@lollipopknox
3 жыл бұрын
Im watching all the series. Now when do we get to correcting all this? ;)
@TheBakingGirlShow
3 жыл бұрын
somatic therapy, writing, EMDR, Brainspotting, doing bodywork like Hellerwork, yoga, dance etc, having relationships where u feel safe -no toxic people-
@cmsbeth
5 жыл бұрын
Who is this speaker? Wow! Wonderful insight! Changed my life! Thank you!
@TimFletcher
5 жыл бұрын
Tim Fletcher
@TimFletcher
5 жыл бұрын
Tim Fletcher
@umargamer5550
5 жыл бұрын
SIR CAN U HELP ME WITH THERSPY PLZ REPLY
@Wszystko_minie
5 ай бұрын
Thank you so much. Story it's also about me. I'm not manipulating only but rest it's me. I didn't know that the problem I got it's so difficult to resolve. I have no trust to nobody and I don't respect also. Tim that's heavy shit. Thank you again so much. God bless you
@simonaioanabliss
Ай бұрын
You are brilliant🙏💫. God bless You!
@honestandfair1572
6 күн бұрын
So appreciate you have grown ❤❤❤
@user-cb7cz3ty5p
2 ай бұрын
I tried to trust an abuser but the result was catastrophic. He walked out on me and that caused me major serious panic attack that sent me to a whole crazy state
@sarahg1077
4 ай бұрын
Likewise, in the book “Love & Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs, he deems so many things in his book as disrespectful. For instance, his wife putting pepper on his eggs, even though he has told her he doesn’t like pepper, it’s disrespect. When his mom made more money than his dad, it was disrespect. Learning from his backstory, his childhood was awful. He 99.999% chance he has complex trauma but instead of dealing with his issues, he teaches his messed up way of thinking as “normal.” It’s sad and I know this book has harmed so many people in the church and yet, it is such a popular book.
@HeartFeltGesture
Жыл бұрын
As good as Pastor Tim is at understanding trauma, he doesnt seem to realize the demonic nature of covert narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, emotionally immature parents raising children, selecting the family scapegoat, the golden child etc, which is the main cause of complex trauma. Narcissism is the spiritual scourge of humanity, it is pandemic, getting worse, and is referenced all throughout the Bible. You come out of a family with narcissistic parents, having been the family scapegoat, then other narcissists in the world can detect your trauma, they can sense you have been groomed for abuse and target you for further abuse.
@leahflower9924
Жыл бұрын
As a scapegoat I agree with your whole comment except for emotionally immature parents having a demonic nature, if they have time to mature and develop tools or get help then they can be healthy
@gloriatucker9796
4 ай бұрын
My sweet love sabotages his relationships. I'm hurt for myself as i miss him so much but im more hurt for him.
@hman9581
2 ай бұрын
30:00 - Respecting yourself and how to.
@newjerseydevil6115
2 жыл бұрын
What if you leave them and they use coercion on you like stalking, threatening, violence, kidnapping and even drugging you?
@etrebelle9812
5 жыл бұрын
The absolute truth from 00:35 on
@iw9338
5 жыл бұрын
Yep, not respected by siblings. Even at church sarcasm was the norm. Wow.
@lizafield9002
4 жыл бұрын
I so relate to this. Older bros can raise one on sarcasm, ridicule, dupery & shaming, & it is stunning to realize how this warps one's perceptions. To this day I'm still terrified of sarcastic people & scorn. Yet i did this to others, go figure.
@karencarney7595
26 күн бұрын
I'm a Reiki Master and Intuitive Healer. I am deeply traumatized and have days where i can't catch my breath. I am great at offering advice and making people feel connected and loved. I don't want anyone to ever feel as cold, lonely and sickeningly abandoned as i did w my abusive and neglected childhood. I was bullied severely in school ans also by my father and sister. They still, to this day, act fked up towards me and my son. Sometimes i feel like I'm not allowed to cry or have days to process. I feel like i always have to be 'on' in order to survive.
@joywebster2678
4 жыл бұрын
Too much addiction focus in the trust examples. Need non addict examples so I can understand
@johnbunting7854
3 жыл бұрын
Have a listen Gabor Matè - every traumatised person has addictive patterns in their life
@starbright1400
2 жыл бұрын
addiction can also include the addiction to isolate
@RealTalk-mq2ug
11 ай бұрын
I've texted so many times, he just won't reply. It's over 6 months now, without a word from him. We used to talk every single day. He did something. It hurt me. I told him I was mad at him. That pissed him off. He felt like I was lashing out at him. Maybe I shouldn't have said I was mad? Maybe instead I should have said I was hurt? I am an empath. He is too. I never dreamed he could be a narcissist. But this is the third time in about a year and a half(ish) that he's done this silent treatment thing to me...
@stephanieg4950
Ай бұрын
The title of this video says devistating instead of devAststing. Proofreader here.
@sarahg1077
4 ай бұрын
What are your thoughts on like Emerson Eggerichs saying that wives are supposed to UNCONDITIONALLY respect their husband?
@Star-dj1kw
25 күн бұрын
✅ good video
@iohannesfactotum
4 ай бұрын
24:26 for me, it's being whistled for. Not like a wolf whistle but like you'd whistle for your dog. I'm not particularly violent but if you whistle at me, I WILL fight you. And the weird part is that I don't think anyone ever whistled at me.
@JenniferMarie-cu1cf
3 ай бұрын
Thank you🙂
@samyraalexander1710
5 жыл бұрын
Excellent 👍
@wattlebough
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@susanduncan6245
2 жыл бұрын
Wow I can't believe he said that about babies
@nicolepayne7486
6 ай бұрын
Much of the video are talking about the victim predator rescue triangle
@SofaKingShit
5 ай бұрын
So basically how it affects my dogs and cats.
@saxongreen78
3 жыл бұрын
I could kiss this man... 😇
@ritadoran5039
5 ай бұрын
Trust and need to control enviroment so my abadonement issues aren't triggered And I met a guy with multiple addictions anger issues and wouldn't respect me enough engaged to stop all the dating apps chats and smutt so i felt betrayed I left
@ts3858
2 жыл бұрын
Why do you constantly blame the victim of complex trauma instead of speaking about self-compassion.in the process of healing. Self - compassion is the antidote to shame . It is not the person w CPTSD 's fault. It is called CPTSD not complex trauma btw.
@crazymusicman13
2 жыл бұрын
I agree. earlier today, before I listened to this, I was in a mood where I can in fact have a healthy relationship if I find the right person. and then listening to this makes me feel like I'm horrendously broken. I think it stems from his pastor background, Christianity is built around "you are a disgusting, evil person - BUT Jesus can save you" - that is essentially his position here as well.
@ts3858
2 жыл бұрын
@@crazymusicman13 Yes ..seems like it...👍
@scarred10
Жыл бұрын
@@crazymusicman13 you are damaged and dysfunctional but not broken and he isnt implying that.This has absolutely nothing to do with religion.
@JahJahBruh
26 күн бұрын
28:22
@yarrayarra3731
2 жыл бұрын
🙏 ty
@santalucida9035
3 жыл бұрын
I feel really tired
@elsewherehouse
2 жыл бұрын
has anyone done the react program?
@dylanrupprecht4031
Ай бұрын
Remember victims - here are 60 reasons why you are unlovable, and also, its youre fault...oh and also, its going to take your life time to get it and heal, but remember it is the utmost importance for society that YOU change so society can be better overall, dont want to bring down the normies..kthanksbye!
@dylanrupprecht4031
Ай бұрын
The sad thing is I respect and appreciate Tim Fletcher for devoting his life to helping us heal, I put a very negative comment that stems from my pain body, and instead of hiding or shamming, I want you to know this is what I struggle with. It doesn't make me a selfish piece of shit like so many people imply, it makes me a victim of trauma and I need compassion and help, NOT JUST FROM MYSELF
@josephinebrew3788
6 жыл бұрын
Oh my, you call it at 18:05.
@goodstar9553
Жыл бұрын
23:20
@susanduncan6245
2 жыл бұрын
That's fear of someone throwing you in jail.
@evelove7825
4 ай бұрын
Ditto
@mummalim4883
3 жыл бұрын
Who is the man presenting in this video please
@TimFletcher
3 жыл бұрын
Tim Fletcher
@angelwings7930
2 жыл бұрын
I wish he was easier to listen to. He just sounds like he’s lecturing in an annoying, braying manner. Better audio, a more relaxed manner would help. Stressful to listen to, it practically sounds like I’m being told off. Keeps flailing around. Ugh.
@leahflower9924
Жыл бұрын
He usually has better audio and a more relaxed tone in other videos he's pretty good at not stigmatizing or making everything clinical which I like
@DavidTwiss-nw5it
3 ай бұрын
What is your self love your family and children and grandkids and pray for gidens and life what should I do if I'm trying hard and people who are just using me and it pisses me off and people in the house don't care or try them seriously lazy and bagging all over the naberhood you must experience pain in life life is not easy and people walk All the time gide your own responsibility and friends and family and protecting them in their own life and don't give up on them onless they are just using me it's hard to do whatever it takes for the help parents wake up and stop putting them first in life and I'm thankful for the people to trust me to with there trust in me walking into the out side in the world and move on you All ignore me parents come back to me and visiting your own children and grandkids and freedom is always good I'm trying hard and people espect me to do things for free I'm pissed off
@RealTalk-mq2ug
Жыл бұрын
I want to die. I pray to die. I'm in hell with no escape. my soul is raped. I AM DYING OF EMOTIONAL PAIN. THE GRIEF AND TERROR ARE ALL-CONSUMING. the darkness. the despair. the rage. THE PANIC. OH. MY. GOD. THE. PANIC!!! the person whom I thought was my best friend discarded me like garbage. replaced me with another. I desperately want to escape the pain that I'm in: debilitating paralyzing all-consuming hyperventilating panic and grief... the guy I called my best friend, ended up raping me. he violently brutally viciously maliciously raped my soul. abandoned and betrayed me. and now I don't breathe. CAN'T BREATHE. I'M IN HELL. last year (2022) he ruined christmas-time for me, and now he's ruined my winter and spring, and now we're headed into summer... and I'm dying inside. I'm desperately trying to remember this: ✨💖✨ I was created from all light, for I am light, I fear no darkness. for being light, I can see beyond darkness 💫
@blessingsfromheaven8445
11 ай бұрын
🙏 please dear God creator of the Universe bring this dear one aide. Help her get to recovery where she can rebuild and heal. Help her get through this - she will succeed and will not die ❤ her story will help others who are so weak & hopeless to hold on & believe they can heal too !!
@JulietCrowson
5 ай бұрын
I have no respect for Kingslienapley lawyers or their flying monkeys 🕊️
@keeperoftheway2605
3 ай бұрын
Damn.
@umargamer5550
5 жыл бұрын
I need psychologist help meee
@TimFletcher
5 жыл бұрын
We provide online counselling onlinecounselling@findingfreedom.ca
@umargamer5550
5 жыл бұрын
Bro how to get online counselling I am from Pakistan but I know English sorry for bad English but I want to join
@TimFletcher
5 жыл бұрын
We do online counselling with people all over the world. We also have a support group of Facebook. If you send me a friend request (Tim Fletcher), I can invite you to the group
@heatherkimler7607
3 ай бұрын
I think the religious abuse makes it really hard to find god later. N sets u up for a lot of disappointment
@fairygurl9269
6 ай бұрын
💔❤️🩹💗💞
@philjimito7250
3 ай бұрын
It seems like "complex trauma" is just being used as an excuse for people to justify being immature crappy people. Too many self diagnosis with PTSD and Complex Trauma because people were picked on a little bit as a child. By the definition, explained causes and symptoms of complex trauma and PTSD means just about every single adult and child to ever exist is/has suffered from Complex Trauma. So its really just a normal part of life. Life is hard, deal with it. The only people I see as valid in Complex Trauma and PTSD from childhood is child abuse victims/ child neglect. If you weren't hugged enough as a child, your parents told you to be quiet/ignored you because you talked too much as a child, you were told you were stupid in any way, picked on or made fun of, mom or dad hit you I little bit when you were acting up. Congratulations you lived a normal childhood, you're not special, stop acting like a victim.
@DarkMoonDroid
4 жыл бұрын
Way too many bad assumptions in this one. Can't finish listening.
@angelwings7930
2 жыл бұрын
He’s aggravating to listen to he sounds annoyed and not entirely professional.
@mcadams518
2 жыл бұрын
counselors think EVERYONE needs therapy and that a person needs therapy forever.
@scarred10
Жыл бұрын
A good therapy enables you to be your own therapist and is time limited,not to makw you depwndanr on any therapist,that is not an efucated therapist
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