Great video! I think that when someone delivers a compliment, all they're trying to say is "I like you". If they compliment your clothes, they're not saying "I like your clothes"... they're saying "I like you, but I don't want to directly say 'I like you' because sounds awkward somehow". In general, this oblique way of saying "I like you" is a good system... at least when you're talking to people who are too simple to think the compliment through logically. It breaks down when you talk to someone who is actually awake and using their brain, since 99% of compliments are just fluff that communicate nothing substantial. Your video does a great job of illuminating these cases! Another issue is that the system can be hijacked and used to manipulate people into thinking they are talking to someone who genuinely likes them, when maybe they are really talking to an untrustworthy figure with ulterior motives. You point this case out at the end of your video. What country are you from by the way?
@yanathecontrarian4863
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks! I broadly agree with your analysis, but additionally - I seem to get more compliments about clothes when I'm wearing something weird or unusual. The train of thought seems to go "I have noticed that those are weird pants" -> "I guess they are weird in a way that's not objectionable" -> "I will now inform the person with the pants that I have observed her pants and I do not disapprove". I'm from Russia, though I lived in the US for a majority of my life, so my inability to speak perfect English [after re-watching the video, I'm very glad that I added subtitles] is not an indicator of an ability to speak good Russian...
@jacksonstenger
2 жыл бұрын
@@yanathecontrarian4863 True, Americans definitely do this thing where they (we) try to iron-out differences by overly praising them. Like how Americans will nod a lot when they talk to someone with a heavy accent, as if they were understanding what they are saying perfectly. Or if someone is overweight, they'll frequently comment on how good they look as if they were a supermodel. I know this because I lived in England for three years, and they do not do this as much. If I were to wear weird pants in England, they'll immediately roast me, no compliments whatsoever. They call it "banter"... it's a more honest approach for sure lol Russia, that makes sense, I was just curious. 🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺
@zachakeyes
Жыл бұрын
This is gold. I'm glad I discovered your channel. Are you a student?
@se7399
2 жыл бұрын
I have seen that compliments do take time to be genuinely assertive in ways that the person who makes them acknowledges the other person's capacities. This however may not be the case with certain kind of "insecure" people that I had the missfurtune to meet. While its a hassle to be always on track of personal failures, these eventually build up experience, but the kind of attitudes that I'm referring to do have quirk to be always on the spot of any mention of a compliment with the sole objective of taking the conversation to an spotlight of themselves or a dead end EG: Subject 1: Hey; i like the way you write! Subject 2: you know, I'm a bad at everything else Conversation cant continue or if it does, one has to ask "why?" or maybe add some other compliment and then process repeats itself. What im getting at is that unlike the good old "not knowing how to take a compliment"; having conversations with these kind of people is tiresome, and its worse than hitting a wall with your head because of your initial intent of talking to someone, this being much worse if one is "meant to" talk to someone. Now I know that If I spot this I should leave them alone; although its unavoidable in situations like team projects or when a family member (or any social group now that I think about it) pressures you to do it for someone...
@yanathecontrarian4863
2 жыл бұрын
I've actually found I'm pretty good at defusing that kind of "fishing for compliments" behavior, whether or not it started with me trying to offer a genuine compliment. I can usually more or less play dumb and *not* say the thing they clearly want me to say, e.g. I might answer "oh, really?" or maybe "well, I guess most people are bad at most things". Then what are they going to do?.. the same rules of polite society that *they* were abusing to try and get a compliment are also the rules that prevent them from telling me that's not what they wanted to hear. Usually. though not always. Though I think, somewhat paradoxically, it's easier for me as a girl to get away with being impolite in these ways than it would be for a guy. At least in American (i.e. USA) culture.
@se7399
2 жыл бұрын
@@yanathecontrarian4863 As long as I can find more ways to avoid that kind of situation; I might play dumb too, thanks!. Your channel will do really good in this plattaform, I'm sure of it! .
@0xva
2 жыл бұрын
Took me a while to understand the bad ass part XD
@ranam
2 жыл бұрын
Don't worry be happy 😊🙂😊 you always rock 🙏🙏
@milkyday8008
2 жыл бұрын
yana is best
@mendelovitch
2 жыл бұрын
First! Nice first comment, me. Och, haven't you just watched the video? Compliments are worthless most of the time. Yes, but haven't we agreed that we should be a little bit more positive and give ourselves some positive reinforcement? Positive reinforcement? For posting a comment on a KZitem video? Our goals in life are depressing. Well, you have to flex that positivity brain muscle for it to grow and this compliment is just an exercise in giving ourselves a positive feedback. Okay okay. Then have your "first!" Yes, let's enjoy this small achievement. Hurrah!
@yanathecontrarian4863
2 жыл бұрын
This is certainly the most philosophical "First!" I've seen! So I guess I also approve.
Пікірлер: 13