The part where her anxiety only spiked up when she was stressed by how her parents would react to her was so painful to read. She had an anxiety condition caused purely by her parents, that's next level emotional abuse.
@hilaryc3203
2 жыл бұрын
My daughter 's friend has a mother like these parents. The dad doesn't intervene, but the mother systematically shattered all her kids self esteem and. instilled failure into all of them. They all wanted to go to college, but the mother constantly told them they were not smart enough. She even told anyone who would listen how stupid her kids were and how much they needed her because they couldn't do anything. I heard it first hand; it was disgusting. None of the girls got the college, but they took off and do work, just making their way without college and are extremely LC with the mother. Contact with her causes them a lot of stress and anxiety. Now that they are mothers themselves they have to keep their kids away from her because of the horrible things she says to them.
@kitsumekat
2 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately, it sounds like OP has C-PTSD
@megannason3649
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah when I finally moved out at 23 my blood pressure when down significantly.
@IrenaTheWiccan
2 жыл бұрын
@@megannason3649 I noticed that too!
@ericab5181
2 жыл бұрын
And now demand op pay for the therapy needed to deal with it
@brigidtheirish
2 жыл бұрын
Anyone else feel like OP's anxiety was somehow manufactured by the parents? Not that it was fake, she had panic attacks, but that her parents *deliberately* made her anxious to the point of having panic attacks to make her feel more dependent on them. Edit: After the update, they sound like they took parenting lessons from Mother Gothel.
@LunaP1
2 жыл бұрын
They intentionally caused her ptsd that led to anxiety so they can control her. And thank you for the Mother Gothel comparison. That's exactly what they are.
@brigidtheirish
2 жыл бұрын
@@LunaP1 Generalized anxiety disorder, not PTSD, at least officially. And you're welcome.
@duckeh1952
2 жыл бұрын
anxiety is symptom for not being able to process emotions and situations. so yes. their bad parenting caused it. kinda like helicopter parenting. not letting job is financial control and telling she'll fail without them is way to bring her self confidence and self esteem down and longer they can keep up with it and older she gets, it will be harder for her to leave. glad she got out and learnt so say no. longer she us able to do thay, more she realises how f-ed up her upbringing was and how horrible her parents are.
@brigidtheirish
2 жыл бұрын
@@duckeh1952 And berating her for seemingly random stuff, even things they said they were fine with.
@duckeh1952
2 жыл бұрын
@@brigidtheirish yes they "allow" it so they can berate later, one fine example of manipulation and toxicity to beat her emotionally down
@fakeaccount12345
2 жыл бұрын
There's something seriously wrong with OP's parents. It almost sounds like they're treating her like a possession instead of their daughter. Something strange is up with them but it's hard to put my finger on exactly what that is. I think she needs to be free from their control.
@brandygiovinazzi3460
2 жыл бұрын
It honestly sounds to me like OP was her parents security blanket for old age. If she never got out into the world then they were guaranteed a free caregiver if/when they got sick in the future and needed someone to take care of them. It also gives my the vibe that her parents aren't fans of her potentially doing as well or better than them in life/finances. I unfortunately do know people who have one or both of those mindsets. I don't really get it and actually don't want to cause it's such a warped view for any parent to have in my opinion. My view is that as a parent my job is to give my children roots and wings. Roots to provide the security that I'll always be here for them and they can always come home, wings to fly high enough to reach their dreams and the space to stretch those wings as adulthood approaches and they have the easiest access to me as they possibly can in case they stumble in flight and need a safe place to land. That's why I don't really care to understand people like OP's parents, our parenting views and styles are just to far removed from each other.
@immapotato1
2 жыл бұрын
my mom decided she didn't want me to get a job so I could help her take care of my niece (which she volunteered herself into). unfortunately her efforts on messing with me succeeded due to my mental state being effected and it took me a while to get a job. on the plus side i stone cold stopped any babysitting help I used to give and locked my door whenever my niece would be dropped off
@brandygiovinazzi3460
2 жыл бұрын
@@immapotato1 Congratulations on getting out of your past situation, setting boundaries and sticking to them! Best of wishes for a long, happy and drama free life from an Internet stranger! 💞Big hug as well cause even though I'm not your mother I'm still a mother who's proud of you for standing up for yourself.
@LadyGoddessSephiroth
2 жыл бұрын
She is a posession. She's something they own, not an individual who has her own thoughts and feelings. They're disgusting and lazy, and they never should have had children.
@WhitneyDahlin
2 жыл бұрын
It feels icky for sure ESPECIALLY since it's the stepdad who's so obsessed with her and makes snide comments about her seeing her boyfriend and never being able to leave the house. It almost sounds like this stepfather is attracted to her or obsessed with her. Very creepy. Is anyone else getting that vibe? The very last update she says that it's her step dad who acts controlling and manipulative but her mom just stands back and lets him treat her badly. The mother does nothing to stand up or advocate for her daughter but is also not the one trying to control her. That makes me feel weird about this, that it's not the mother who wants to keep her daughter trapped, it's the stepfather who wants to keep his stepdaughter under his thumb.
@MorganVsTheInternet
2 жыл бұрын
The parents are making OP’s GAD worse with their controlling behavior. I get the feeling that they keep clipping OP’s wings so they have a free servant.
@marleybee1946
2 жыл бұрын
I was thinking the same thing. Those parents would give me anxiety.
@shannamac3974
Жыл бұрын
They didn't just make it worse they created it
@sweetstacks3631
2 жыл бұрын
All the commenters saying OP's parents won't cut them out or hate them for leaving sound like they haven't had toxic parents. Up until I cut her out of my life, my mother admitted that she still resented me for moving out the day after graduation. It permeated our entire (now nonexistent) relationship. I am not saying OP shouldn't move out, just that some commenters don't get it and are telling OP that everything will be fine when that is not necessarily true. It's frustrating.
@thatwitchychick2717
2 жыл бұрын
THIS. 1000%. Some of those comments were really bothersome to read. I had to escape my parents to be "allowed" to leave at 20 years old after college. They not only cut me off for leaving, they separated me from my little sister and filled her head with lies that destroyed our relationship. There's more at stake here than some of these commenters realize and it's frustrating. It kind of feels like when I hear someone ask "Why didn't they leave?" about someone escaping domestic abuse. It's not easy and you have to escape. Some of us has to escape our own parents and it's obvious which commenters didn't have that experience.
@sweetstacks3631
2 жыл бұрын
@@thatwitchychick2717 Yeah, exactly. I feel like people don't take abuse from parents more seriously because there's this idea that all parents have unconditional love for their kids. Before and after I cut off my mother, I always heard "Oh, she still loves you no matter what!" which is just a very sneaky and very sinister way to guilt trip someone. It's also why more people don't come forward about their parents abusing them, because they feel such shame and don't believe that what they went through is abuse. I was one of those people, and occasionally, I still am. It's incredibly sad and upsetting, and it's also a prime example of why we should encourage therapy and make it accessible for everyone while removing the stigma around it. A lot of kids grow up super fucked up and while some of them can heal and move on, a lot of them cannot. It's bleak.
@robinkholmes7127
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: I think the parents want a live in maid. The OP is the scapegoat, the weakest link in the family of narcs and flying monkeys. I'd pack to leave but be as covert as possible. Get a job and say "no" when you're told you have to babysit. Tell them "I have work." They view the boyfriend as a threat because of an outside influence that's healthy and against them. Freedom can be scary but it's a part of growing up. That talk with the boyfriend there exposes so much. "You have to stay to take care of us." They threatened no more health insurance and it didn't work. They'll probably try love bombing in the future. Enjoy your new found freedom OP.
@danacarter9147
Жыл бұрын
In case the mother and stepfather try any love bombing, OP needs to go complete NC with them, move with her boyfriend to another state, or better move to another country, disconnect her phone number, and delete her social media accounts.
@JasperIllusian
2 жыл бұрын
"my parents are known for their apology gifts.' not apology gifts, love bombing. dont apologize w a gift, thats just bribery, not an actual apology. an apology would mean you would try to do better as well as actually being genuine about being sorry. i doubt op's parents are ever genuine abt that.
@LadyGoddessSephiroth
2 жыл бұрын
Oh lovely. More parents who view their kids as property and slaves, not as actual human beings. 🙄 They always tell you you're incapable of living in the real world and you'll fail while you're out there bc *they don't want you to leave.* Mine pulled the exact same thing. I left anyway. And they were 1000% wrong. The real world is actually easier to deal with than their abuse. OP is going to be just fine.
@JosieJOK
2 жыл бұрын
If you were truly incapable of living in the real world, that would have been a terrible indictment of them as parents, because that’s a parent’s only job: to raise *adults,* not children.
@LadyGoddessSephiroth
2 жыл бұрын
@@JosieJOK They did everything they could to sabatoge us and make us dependent on them. Everything. Trust me. They trained us to be afraid of the real world and stay close to Mommy and Daddy bc they're safe. "No one else will love you the way we love you," they said. They filled our heads with lies about how everyone is out to get us, anyone who wants to be our friend is using us and no one will really love us for who we are bc we're deficient. It was "You're fat and disgusting. You're useless. You're lazy. You're stupid. No one will ever want you. You're lucky we love you bc no one else will." Took me 35 years to wake up and realize they never loved me and never considered me a person. As soon as I left I was embraced by the same friends they said would use me. In a normal house, yes, you want to raise your kids to be successful adults. In an abusive house, you are and always will be a child, a toy/slave/pet Mommy and Daddy use to make themselves feel better. And there are no lengths they won't go to in order to keep you in that role.
@amandab8433
2 жыл бұрын
I am so glad OP stood up to the parents, and moved out. I literally just came back from helping my daughter (18) sign a lease for her first apartment. Am I going to miss her? Absolutely! I am also so proud to see her spread her wings, and taking her first steps into adulthood. I hope OP's parents come around and see her for the wonderful ADULT she is.
@sxatcychan1988
2 жыл бұрын
I say the mother might get around, but considering how the step-father is the main perpetrator if OP's abuse, he'll probably rebrand her as this selfish, @$$hole of a daughter who disobeys him, even though he loved her and knows what's best for her.
@scottaltic1678
2 жыл бұрын
Welcome to the toxic narcist parent who infantilizes their child while undermining them, to use them. My wife (41F) was raised by one, she was still living beside her mom when I met her in 2014. She was expected to be there when "mother" woke up (9-10am), till nighttime (10-11pm) when mother was sick of her being there. She couldn't leave before then, or it was "You just got here" didn't matter if she was there 5-10 hours or literally all day. When she was allowed to be in her own home, mother knocked on the wall if she couldn't reach her on the phone any/every time she needed anything (Apartment building, they literally were neighbors). She was always super shitty any time she felt she was being slighted or ignored. My wife couldn't go to the restroom without her phone or there'd be knocking. She did all mom's cleaning, made all her meals, was expected to eat there, watch tv with her, and sometime help bath/care for her, do her laundry, and run errands. You name it. Mind you, my wife had a whole apartment next door that needed all these things as well. Mother was still able bodied, mind you, just lazy and treated my wife like a live-in servant/Nurse. Held everything she ever did for my wife over her head, also told her she was owed for anything she used of my wife's (Money, time, assistance, paychecks)including the "I had you, you owe me" crap. Your children own you for getting pregnant???? Seriously!?!?. She made my wife feel incapable to running her own life. Thanks to her mother's constant need for being in the center of attention, she couldn't. She didn't have time. She was depressed, had terrible anxiety, was suicidal at times, all thanks to her domineering, control freak mother. When mother was in the nursing home for physical therapy in 2014, after being hospitalized for lung issues, my wife was shocked by the amount of people telling her she could go live her own life now. Her sister, her father, her step mom, random people that vaguely knew them as a family unit. She hadn't realized how much of her existence had been taken up by her mother. My mother in law still hates me for taking her servant away. She didn't have a problem with me, till she realized we were serious. She did her best to interfere. Thankfully my wife kept me, and I'm stubborn. So to OP, RUN! Run far, Run fast. Get therapy. Get over meeting the expectations of people who will just keep moving the bar as they feel justified. You can't make them proud of you, so go live life and be happy. Move away and go no contact. Life will be better for it. Hard at first because they are all you know, but little by little it will get better.
@MizTameRumors
2 жыл бұрын
If your anxiety is BETTER when you are doing public speaking and 6 classes from graduation....Your parents are an issue. That's pretty high stress and it's better than being with your parents....
@dm9078
2 жыл бұрын
Twenty four? sounds like the entire family has serious issues. Run OP run!
@jupitersnoot4915
2 жыл бұрын
I have a feeling that after a while of being out of that house and away from their control, she will find that she starts to heal and no longer has any anxiety disorder. She should definitely get into therapy to help that process along because it's pretty clear her anxiety disorder was caused by her parents.
@britnicox3929
2 жыл бұрын
The emotional abuse and manipulation the parents put OP through to control her every move and to pretty much make her solely dependent on them is so disgusting. I’m glad OP finally got out. It feels like the only thing keeping them from straight up locking her in a room for the rest of her life is the fact that there are people who see her every day and with notice if she went missing.
@mbyerly9680
2 жыл бұрын
The OP with anxiety needs to read about Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome. The parents seem to be doing an emotionally abusive version of that. They create the anxiety so they can control OP.
@brigidtheirish
2 жыл бұрын
While I don't think it's Munchausen by proxy, I agree that they basically created OP's anxiety disorder so they can control her.
@ElfmaidOfMirkwood
2 жыл бұрын
okay but the "just leave" comments don't really understand how difficult and/dangerous that can be. Yes Op needs to get out, but it's not a simple one and done
@DrownedInExile
2 жыл бұрын
But it IS simple. Comments are right, that OP is holding herself back. Of course it's not easy to break away. The important things in life never are easy. Besides if it were easy to break away from narcissists and users, there'd be a lot less of them in the world.
@catandrobbyflores
2 жыл бұрын
@@DrownedInExile if she tried to just leave where I live, she'd be homeless in a week.
@kacey261
2 жыл бұрын
@@DrownedInExile leaving an abusive situation can be dangerous. Abuse can often escalate when the victim is caught planning to leave or shortly after leaving.
@LadyGoddessSephiroth
2 жыл бұрын
Yep. My incubator tried to strangle me to death when she found out I was trying to leave. It's not as easy as people think it is. The only reason I got out alive is bc my sister called the police. The police called an ambulance for me. Once I was at the hospital I never went back home and I never talked to them again. Oh and I pressed charges. My sister had to leave by lying and telling them she was going to the vet with the cat. She walked out with the cat and my brother. My cell donors never saw either of them again. That's how we had to leave. So no it's not as easy as "HURR DURR JUST WALK OUT THE DOOR!" Parents who view their kids as possessions are INSANE. They will go to ANY length to keep their kids from leaving, including killing them.
@DrownedInExile
2 жыл бұрын
@@kacey261 I'm aware of that, but not every abuse situation is the same. There was nothing stopping this OP from going to her b/f's for one of her usual visits, and simply not returning. She was fighting herself, as much as the parents.
@ritam8712
2 жыл бұрын
I have forced my Mother to listen in. She is low key obsessed now 😍
@LostGenre
2 жыл бұрын
😬😁 I hope she’s enjoying the channel!!
@brandygiovinazzi3460
2 жыл бұрын
I got my kids hooked on this channel to. We put it on the TV for all of us to enjoy. Kids are 17, 16 and a couple months away from turning 13. Family activities and shared interests are wonderful things.
@mbyerly9680
2 жыл бұрын
You monster! Snicker.
@ritam8712
2 жыл бұрын
@@LostGenre Hii LG yea she really is, even if she acts annoyed. I'll pause the video and she'll immediately say "Stop it I need closure, what happens" 😄😄
@ritam8712
2 жыл бұрын
@@brandygiovinazzi3460 that is soo cool!!!! XD
@Swnsasy
2 жыл бұрын
Ahhh, helicopter parents.. They are suffocating her because they need to feel needed.. It's that empty nest feeling and they are taking it too far. I knew I was doing it because I didn't want to let go.. Her parents are probably causing her anxiety and I bet if she moves she will see it.. It's also like they see her as an object, property.. Poor thing. Edit: Yep they have severe issues!! I wonder why she hasn't talked to other family members though to show how they are being.
@hugoumero9723
2 жыл бұрын
and i no wonder why OP dad have decide to left OP Mom
@enjolireyes643
2 жыл бұрын
First steps to freedom are usually the hardest! Congrats OP!
@breeze5926
2 жыл бұрын
I would have lied on that first story. Said that I would be taking a special class that's available over break only for top students, and that it'll look great on my resume. Then I'd get a job, and have an alibi. Save up. Move out.
@catandrobbyflores
2 жыл бұрын
How is op supposed to move out with no job or money? Did the commenters even read the post?
@brigidtheirish
2 жыл бұрын
She has a boyfriend to crash with until she finds a job.
@lindacarrasco7679
2 жыл бұрын
They did. Op didn’t say she was leaving immediately, she was waiting to secure a job before leaving. Op has her bf to rely on in the meantime until she manages to save up for her expenses
@indiashante1560
2 жыл бұрын
Op Didn't need to explain anything to our parents. She should move the hell out. That's basically what I did. I lived at home until I met my husband and once you started getting really serious I knew that it was time for me to grow up and be on my own.
@RevWarRev
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: OP is an adult. There's nothing to talk about. Time to GO. This is not a home, it is a toxic prison. To lessen anxiety, enlist the BF's and any other friends/employer's aid to get her ducks in a row and then LEAVE.
@MissaMomma
Ай бұрын
Wow. The gaslighting and verbal abuse are beyond ridiculous. The way that this woman's parents tried to raise her to be their life-long caregivers. It's disgusting.
@catT5236
2 жыл бұрын
I feel like the "just leave... you don't need their permission to be an adult" kind of comments are a bit harsh, unfair, & somewhat naive. OPs parents have systematically trained her to be dependent on them for her whole life, it's not an easy thing to retrain the entire way you think. It's also clear they're at least emotionally abusive & manipulative. The best thing OP can do for herself now is speak to her therapist about what healthy relationships & boundaries look like, as well as working on her self-esteem.
@dcg590
2 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad I’m not your kid
@catT5236
2 жыл бұрын
@@dcg590 because I have empathy for someone who has been abused by her parents & understand you can't just flip a switch & change the way you were raised to think? Okay then. If you prefer someone who doesn't try to understand why someone who has gone through sh*t acts a certain way & just tells them to get over it, I guess that's your choice. Seems a bit weird to actually WANT people to lack empathy towards you.
@stonefox2546
2 жыл бұрын
It's amazing how in the US it's deemed "wonderful" for an employer to "allow" employee to actually TAKE THE SICK LEAVE THEY NEED IN ORDER TO RECOVER, like wow. Catch up with the civilized world already.
@hofnarf
2 жыл бұрын
I‘m getting strong Rapunzel and mother Gothel vibes from the first story.
@kikomefoxy5966
2 жыл бұрын
Comments: Don't tell your parents. OP: *Tells parents.* 😐 But good for OP was escaping that hell!
@davidransom4476
2 жыл бұрын
Anyone taking odds on the parents trying to dump the brother off on OP in a few years? If this is the US, OP likely did not cost the parents any extra on the medical insurance, since "Family" is usually chepaer than covering each individual, and that lasts until 26.
@noneedtoknow07
2 жыл бұрын
Mood booster story: Just thinking about a conversation between Eric and Larry at the current state of the store. Larry: So son I noticed that the store is having a high turn over rate. Eric: Yeah I fired OP due to not doing enough during the workday and haven't had anyone stay enough to fill their posistion. Larry: You fired OP for....? *Sigh* Son I love you but you are an idiot.
@wickedamoeba8719
2 жыл бұрын
Honestly, my anxiety got way better once I got away from my parents. I’m willing to bet OP will have a similar experience. My parents had a way of picking at my confidence and making me doubt myself.
@reneerowland1415
2 жыл бұрын
"If you want to move out, do it! They can’t stop you" umm did everyone on Reddit miss the "don’t have any money, they only give me 200/month"? Everyone did? Wow, ok b/c I couldn’t figure out why everyone was being so dense. They. Are. Controlling. OP. Financially!
@cloiebuggeater
2 жыл бұрын
I just can’t imagine my parents acting like this. I got married at 21. I was finishing college and we had bought our 1st house at OP’s age. My good friend’s parents were like OP’s. They guilted him into not moving out until he was over 40 because “remember how badly it went when you got an apartment with friends at 21.” It was nuts.
@sharonblevins3281
2 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry you're parents are so selfish. You will be very successful on your own. You can cut ties and still survive. They will never give you their approval. God bless don't forget your business papers.
@KHTimeProtecter
2 жыл бұрын
They say all of that, then that means they’re ragging on themselves. If they think she’s such a failure, that means that they KNOW that they’ve failed as parents.
@monkeynumbernine
2 жыл бұрын
This is mind- boggling. I moved out at 16 and worked full -time. I had my own place to live, vehicle, fed myself... Why would parents try to keep their *ADULT* child home far longer than necessary?
@nela3986
2 жыл бұрын
This sounds early familiar. My father was like that. He pretended I was free to do what I wanted but sabotaged me every time I made a step towards independence. He bearded me every time I dared to make a choice on my own. Never wanted me to take a job, but was extremely fanacically controlling. He said one thing but did the other convincing me it was only in my head. Always implying there was something wrong with me. I didn't even have the right to have privacy in my room. When I finally understood how freeing it was to live away from him I never went back. Narcissist only think of themselves when they do something "generous" while they try to look like a hero. They suck the life out of you while making you think you are funny in the head and incapable to do anything successfully and not worth anything, so nobody would ever like me.
@lyragwen1895
2 жыл бұрын
You don't need to inform your mother that you are moving just do it! Be an adult. Once you are out then let them know you have moved.
@misschieflolz1301
2 жыл бұрын
The parents literally used her mental health as a way to abuse her into staying for that long. I've seen a very similar thing with my best friend, but because of the added financial abuse, coercion and alienation from people, they were absolutely terrified and had no way out. We literally had to make an emergency covert plan to get them out because it moved to physical abuse a couple of weeks into lockdown. Yeah, we broke lockdown rules. We tried to inform the police on the way home but there was an old hag on the desk tutting about us breaking lockdown. Like lady, will you listen to us? Eventually a welfare check was made and everything was good. We're still threatening to sue if they attempt to get in contact and we have evidence of not only financial abuse, but outright fraudulent claims for government support. The individual is doing fine, albeit with lasting mental health issues but they're part of our family now. May not be blood, but this wouldn't be the first person that isn't legally bound to the family.
@ninacruz5592
2 жыл бұрын
NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU PAY THEM, THEY WILL NEVER LOVE 💕 YOU
@actingmode304
2 жыл бұрын
I related hard to OP. My mother used to act like I knew nothing and that I'll always have to live with. She tried using the pandemic and my health issues as a excuse to keep me home and be her helping hand. I ended up moving out in secret to avoid her ruining my plans. She still thinks I left because I was tricked by a person or whatever.
@kaykay8855
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: op just need to gather all her important information and leave.
@albertgongora6944
2 жыл бұрын
The sad part is I hate to break it to Opie with are all the information that was given they don't love or care about her they just see her as somebody that they need in life to basically take care of them and of course her brother sadly and that's the sad truth about everything they're not for her but themselves and that's why they need Opie but overall that I am glad that she got out of that home and started living with her boyfriend and basically will be able to have a normal life without getting involved in it and the therapy will help her see that they were just really using her
@califdad4
2 жыл бұрын
It's her stepfather, can't figure this out. Bizarre, yes she needs to set up boundaries and quietly move out ASAP, they will get over it
@Adameia_
2 жыл бұрын
The parents CONTROLLING behavior is part of the anxiety issue. They are stressing her out making it worse... yeeesh
@dcg590
2 жыл бұрын
Just move out. If they don’t want to have a relationship, so be it.
@amypulitano7516
2 жыл бұрын
I had to show proof of my son's new medical insurance at his new job to be able to remove him from my insurance.
@LadyJuse
2 жыл бұрын
12:45 "my parents told me was incapible of living on my own" and whose fault is that, I wonder?
@mai-8-torch
2 жыл бұрын
holy abusive family, batman! glad OP got out of there
@DaniS398
11 ай бұрын
That last story...OP says the original boss was wonderful and gave the example that "he let me go negative on my sick time I was hospitalized for a week following a double pulmonary embolism" like...is the bar really that low? A boss is a good boss if they don't make a fuss you're missing work because you almost died?
@ladyv5655
Жыл бұрын
OP's biggest mistake was telling her parents that she planned to move. She doesn't owe them anything more than to tell them after the fact.
@jackspring7709
2 жыл бұрын
They want to keep you there as a life-long slave and there is a lot of control going on there with hints of a bizarre type of financial ab*se going on. Just move out, they can't physically stop you - don't let them drag you into an argument about it and don't let them turn it into a drama. Leave with love :)
@favillionbellarion9655
2 жыл бұрын
ngl seeing the update i have a feeling i now know where a lot of op issues came from....
@redhawkseye7099
2 жыл бұрын
the thing that really caught me was when OP specifically mentions how her mom stood by as her step dad berated and threatened her. I think that reveals alot more to this very dark backstory and I have an odd feeling that the mom might be a victim to emotional abuse as well. while step dad became the decision maker of her family, idk I have alot of thoughts on this but frankly I think there's alot more to unpack but it's good OP got out when she did.
@NemFX
Жыл бұрын
Story one: their insistence makes me wonder if they are getting paid to be her caretakers. Seen that happen before.
@Falney
2 жыл бұрын
I was bullied a lot in school, it lead me to having a lot of anxiety problems. Anxiety to the point that I couldn't talk to people on the phone, talk to strangers or even ask for help. Then adulthood hit me like a freight train and being put into a situation where I didn't have the opportunity to hide behind my mother any more, my anxieties disappeared almost over night. Yeah there are little bits lingering here or there. The first day at a new job makes me want to run away and hide. I am still not a social butterfly but then, while anxiety may vanish, personality doesn't so I suppose switching from introvert to extrovert may be asking a bit much. Basically, growing up and moving out was the best thing that happened to me. I mean, I am back living with my mother again as I am her carer now. but a lot of the problems I had as a kid are still gone.
@ShadowHeart001
2 жыл бұрын
*after video* wow now that's a good thing to be part of a committee; so much work and we got it moving for OP to live her life.
@DragonflyandTheWolf
5 ай бұрын
"I said I could get a job, but my parents said absolutely not." Girl, you're 24, your parents can't stop you. Do what you want. I went to a bar for the first time when I was 26 and my mom freaked out on me. I laughed in her face.
@matthewpopow6647
2 жыл бұрын
Lol, my dumb ass thought 'you're not done cooking yet' was litteral... like you wanted to start moving boxes out mid-meal.
@twinklestar111888
2 жыл бұрын
Prozac is on the $4 list at Walmart girl! You can do this without them!
@GosuTenshi
2 жыл бұрын
The kindest explanation is they have an irrational fear of being empty nesters. The more likely explanation is they see her as a retirement plan. And the retirement plan is not allowed to move out, ever.
@rjshipp
2 жыл бұрын
Glad 1st story OP is finding her way!
@ObsidianFaux
2 жыл бұрын
Your 23? Your in your 20’s! I was in that situation with “family” like that, I wasn’t scared or having that bad of an anxiety, I’m glad I’m away from them, they chose not to talk to me or make an effort, I was more angry instead of other emotions now I just kind of stop caring about them s little, tho I still get depression and suicidal and breakdowns every now and then
@tinak2576
Жыл бұрын
She’s in her twenties and they think they should be able to keep her under their thumb? Then threaten to take her insurance if she does move out?? “Why doesn’t my child call me anymore?”
@eldeano9964
2 жыл бұрын
Crab bucket parents
@TVandManga
2 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad OP got away!
@rominazarei744
Жыл бұрын
OP doesn't HAVE to tell her parents she's getting a job
@ACastillo_
2 жыл бұрын
God damn it, OP. They don't love you.
@IzzyPR2010
2 жыл бұрын
Advice for the OP with controlling parents, I you have children in the future and you demand you let them take care of any children you have, you can remind them that they never wanted to take care of their own children, instead trying to get you to do it for them.
@lorifiedler13
Жыл бұрын
Note to parents, you have 2 choices. 1. Try to control me, and I cut you out of my life forever. 2. Accept that I am mature enough, let me go, and I will remain in contact with you.
@mayurakshimukherjee7948
Жыл бұрын
One day when the parents are not there, she has to live on her own. What the heck are the parents talking about?
@susankaempfer8427
Жыл бұрын
4:43 🤔 sounds like the less time you spend at home, the better your anxiety problems are…
@DWPersianExcursion
2 жыл бұрын
❤️love from Texas 😍
@silverstarmoon5802
2 жыл бұрын
The first story, I get the feeling that money did belong to them because they didn't want op to leave, that why I came to this theory. Op, I hope u got every documents that belongs to u and I hope u didn't give them ur accounts. If u do, change them. Op, cut contact them, ur parents didn't love u, only love u for something what u can do for them.
@1musamune
2 жыл бұрын
I don't think they see OP as a crutch or thier child it sounds too me they see OP as a serf.
@jesintharajwin5180
2 жыл бұрын
Didn't go to sleep yet. It's 1.30 AM. I get to enjoy the new video. But what will I listen to during my morning routine now..
@krazycats564
2 жыл бұрын
I'm sure it is a nice thing to do but the "My boss didn't fire me for being sick, he's so nice" line is such insanity!!
@LaviniaKing-hz9ue
Ай бұрын
--- OP you're over 18, they can't stop you. Don't ask their permission, just leave. Get your personal papers together find a job and don't tell your parents your plans. Just walk out the door.
@ShadowHeart001
2 жыл бұрын
*reads title* what da derp....almost sounds like a horror movie is about to happen
@cyrilenejones8487
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1, she’s old to move out, get a job, do what you have to do to get out don’t tell them your plans. Pack your stuff piece by piece, get all your documents together and go. You are also complicating the issues for yourself
@judymetzger3253
2 жыл бұрын
Your parents want complete control of you. It's so obvious I'm almost blinded. You do everything humanly possible to get that grant. Then you need to go and get out. Do not let them guilt you, do not let them guess like you. They want to control completely your life forever. You going to have to draw that line in the sand. I feel after listening to you
@ericab5181
2 жыл бұрын
Op ought to sue them for the whole underpaid domestic slave thing. Because the idea that op is paying the parents for the therapist appointments that were for the anxiety they seemingly deliberately caused. Is there anyone else wondering if they secretly had op on some program to have op at home. Like "my adult child couldn't ever possibly live on their own" government assistance
@louellacharlton4425
2 жыл бұрын
Tyvm LG. Stay safe please. PEACE
@pkbarton8466
2 жыл бұрын
Your parents are grooming you as a caretaker for your brother. Run if you think not saying no and setting boundaries is hard now wait until they can't take care of your brother anymore. Move out take charge and when you get to freedom don't go back until the boundaries are set.
@MsTwissy
Жыл бұрын
Prozac, one of the oldest and most effective SSRIs, can be bought generic for about 4 dollars a month without insurance.
@missvon889
Жыл бұрын
Wait what??? This sounds like Code Monkeys. Bossman Larrity, took over as game production Tzar. Poor Steve Wozniak, the best Bossman ever!!!😢😢😢
@dianecole9808
Жыл бұрын
I don't want to lose them. Why? They want to keep you tethered for housekeeper duties. Those aren't parent like qualities. You're on your own .. Just do it.. Girl Gone.
@shells500tutubo
2 жыл бұрын
OP didn't listen to one of the commenters the first go round who said, when you are ready to leave just go, when the parents are not home. Do NOT tell them you are leaving until after you are gone. That part when she and her bf were talking to the parents giving them a spreadsheet of expenses made me cringe. They don't need to justify ANYTHING about OP's life or ability to cope. OP needs to live life as if her parents are dead, and needs to seriously grey rock them when she talks to them on the phone.
@rheaaulia7803
2 жыл бұрын
She still need her parents' medical insurance, I guess. Therapy is not cheap.
@GabrielleHayes1921
2 жыл бұрын
1) I have a gross feeling that stepdad was grooming her to be a replacement wife if anything ever happened to her mom. I can't see any other reason for his actions.
@gnostia1302
2 жыл бұрын
My pare are super controlling as well ! At the age of 27 they wanna dictate who i marry and don’t marry and also they’re telling me to come live with them or they’ll cut me out !
@TheMarie2000
Жыл бұрын
Story 1: OP sounds like her parents are treating her as though she is their slaves
@AudreyWilliamsMusic
Жыл бұрын
I think she still should get professional help from a therapist. Her parents did a real number on her for too long.
@sparklemotion8377
2 жыл бұрын
Funny not Funny how OP's therapist never made the link that strangers on the Internet could...
@kitty-drawl
2 жыл бұрын
They’re probably receiving disability money or something similar in story 1
@redresearchanalyst
2 жыл бұрын
Sounds like op’s parents were purposely trying to keep op from growing up, becoming independent. Yikes.
@SherlocksLeftNipple
Жыл бұрын
Of course they hate OP's boyfriend. He's an outsider capable of pulling the wool from OP's eyes and getting them away from their control. Abusers isolate their victims exactly so the person has nothing and noone to depend on but them, and eventually stop trying to get away from them, because there's no hope of the person surviving without their abuser. It's time to pack a suitcase with the most important things/start subtly shifting your most important keepsakes and documents to your boyfriend's house, and leave as fast as possible. Cut contact. Block them on social media. Get a restraining order, if things escalate. You are not your parents' property to beat down into submission, you are a person with a future much brighter than the rest of your family. Don't let them drag you down with them. Don't let your love for your parents guilt you into wasting your life as their maid! Leave! Spread your wings! Never talk to these people again, once you can get out from under their thumb completely! You do not need their support indefinitely, and you shouldn't do so, with how they hold it over your head.
@reallyisay
2 жыл бұрын
Story1 OP pays for her own college classes gets good grades.. Girl Run, don't look back
@jessical4866
2 жыл бұрын
This is financial and emotional abuse. I rarely use this word, but they’re gaslighting her by insisting she’s incapable of living on her own.
@whitneybennett5076
2 жыл бұрын
Some of the comments hit a nerve with me. For some people, it's not a simple thing to "just move out". Sure, technically, she was legally allowed to leave and had the means to go off on her own and that's exactly what she should do. But when you've been manipulated and controlled that long by the people in your life who are supposed to care for you, you start to become a prisoner in your own mind.
@direwolf8703
2 жыл бұрын
I had to go through something similar with my family they wouldn't even let me take the college classes I wanted because it was offered in a different school than the one my uncle worked at, they wanted me there so he could keep his thumb on me at all times. I joined the Army and suddenly all the threats that they issued whenever I would speak disappeared. To this day I don't talk to them and they don't get why
@annabellehe4307
2 жыл бұрын
I get a 90 day supply of prozac from the mark cuban pharmacy for $20. No insurance required. Its bizarre but true lol
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