I once got into a heated argument about a parking space. He used profanity. I used profanity and it escalated into a major fistfight. We both injured each other and here is the result... 1. We both sat in the back of a police car. 2. We both filed charges 3. We both had to go to the hospital 4. We both had to give legal depositions. 5. We both had to hire attorneys 6. We both lost time from work. We both lost big-time because of ego, pride, and immaturity. All because of a stupid parking space: IT WAS NOT WORTH IT!!
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
This.
@joshuafien2003
6 жыл бұрын
Total learning experience id wager.... been there. Unfortunately humans in general never FULLY learn unless its the hard way... :/
@downfromthereeefters
6 жыл бұрын
Always something I consider: whether the endgame is worth all the trouble or potential trouble, i.e is it worth speeding when I could get pulled over and be even more late, plus the fine and increase to insurance premium, etc? The answer is almost always no. Same in your situation. Sorry to hear what happened on that one. Very valuable, albeit expensive, lesson.
@chrisboyd1408
5 жыл бұрын
Sorry to hear about this. But thank you for sharing and reminding us of what can happen in the end. Thank God neither one of you pulled a gun and shoot someone.
@Kilnor
5 жыл бұрын
Wow your story sounds very similar to what happened to me and a friend of mine. Thanks for sharing your story.
@joshuahawkins8828
6 жыл бұрын
Seriously the number one underrated self defense skill. Great video John.
@williamnelson2298
3 жыл бұрын
Yup
@ProfessorWalker
6 жыл бұрын
Great video. I am former law enforcement and I would recommend this channel to anyone.
@nrbrown5985
6 жыл бұрын
Glad to hear you mention your retail background in this. After 17 years of retail, 10 in management, I pride myself on my verbal skills. It’s one of the most useful things I’ve picked up over the years. I’m darn good at deescalation.
@MrTimmyCollins
4 жыл бұрын
Just got out of a confrontation minutes ago using this method. A furious buff guy walked right up in my bubble screaming profanities because I lit off a firework and woke up his kids (at 9 o'clock on a saturday night...) I had my OC spray ready to go behind my back, but luckily it didnt come to that. I put my ego away, let him give me his two cents, and he walked away. Thanks for the training.
@stuarthall3874
6 жыл бұрын
As a licensed counselor, I like so much of what John says here. These are valuable skills in many situations.
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks Stuart! That's where the basics of the strategy come from.
@brandonbeard8488
6 жыл бұрын
Great video John, sometimes all they want is to vent and by letting them do that can make all the difference in the world. I like to smile and wave to random people, because you never know they could be in a bad mood or thinking about ending there Life and by me doing that made it just a little better for them and changed there thinking or frustration.
@JohnDoe-vq8bg
6 жыл бұрын
I wish you many blessings John. Thank you. This is what many need to hear and learn. A big person would rather apologize than further anger another who may be having a bad day or worse. We never know what people are going through in their lives. Anything is way better than anger or worse using force. God protect your family and yourself.
@pattube
Жыл бұрын
LEAPSS method to deescalation: Listen. Actively listen to the person, make eye contact. Empathize. Put yourself in their (emotional) shoes, how they might be feeling. Ask. Ask questions, get them to present their concerns. Paraphrase. Paraphrase accurately what they’ve said to you so they know you’re paying attention to their concerns. Solution. Offer them a solution. Save face. Do all this in a way that helps them save face if possible. “A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.” (Proverbs 15:1)
@GentleResponseLLC
4 жыл бұрын
I just happened to find this video, great points! The great challenge is having the self awareness and self discipline to recognize when you are getting too worked up to effectively interact with someone who is loud, rude and obnoxious, and to break contact by turning them over another colleague. The longer you stay in stressful confrontational situation, the higher the probability that YOU will end up saying or doing something that will actually escalate the situation! 9 times out of 10, angry loud people just need to vent! So keep your own mouth shut and let them vent while YOU listen for a clue to what you can say or do to effectively de-escalate the situation!
@ericmcdaniel4029
6 жыл бұрын
I took verbal judo that was required for an old job I had. I wasn’t too keen on taking it at first but I learned so much. Even helps when I argue with my wife haha.
@PathinAZ
6 жыл бұрын
This is a great skill to have. I've even used it a few times quite effectively. But one thing to be aware of, is that while you're in the process of deescalating, be aware that some people are completely irrational and do not want to even talk. They might see your attempt at conversation a sign of weakness and have only a goal of physical altercation. In my experience, this is rare but one needs to be wary of the signs the confrontation might be going that direction. At that moment, you need to figure a way to quickly exit the area or you might have someone irrationally trying to beat you down. Only then, when there's no escape from the situation you might have to resort to violent self defense. Plus, in court (hopefully) any witnesses will attest to the fact you tried everything to NOT use your defensive weapon. That's my take on it anyhow. Another great super informative video, I've never heard it put to a moniker like that..
@cryptosentinel1257
Жыл бұрын
Misty escalation technique is phenomenal. I've used this while I was in the military, dealing with angry people. Customer service etc. It's concerning how very few people have heard of it. It's been out forever now.
@MrWatchmen759
5 жыл бұрын
I’m glad I watched this video. I got into a heated verbal argument with these couples almost fought them but my friends held me back. I want to go back and see if they were going to say something the next day but after watching this, I realized is not worth it. I will implement this defuse technique from now on.
@ASPextra
5 жыл бұрын
Nice!
@jackomalley3687
Жыл бұрын
There are a lot of male Karen's out there. I have always learned when you are carrying a firearm you have to learn to walk away. It's certainly easier said than done. I had a store mgr who kicked me out because he felt I was harassing members of my group. First it was none of his business but anyway when he ordered me to leave I left quietly but trust me I wanted to punch him
@talllll.ll.1712
3 жыл бұрын
16k views..... the day and age we live in, I'm absolutely amazed that not more people have for verbal de-escalation tactics or maybe you could add some simple words for viewers that don't know what to type specifically, like self-defense talking tactic or talk down a verbal fight. Videos and books like this should get around to every big city and doing verbal judo at every physical training where people are learning to use their body as weapons. And know how to de-escalate others and calm their inner self to not lose control. With that being said absolutely loved this video. Hope we have more views when I watch this again on thursday.
@kennethwedig6091
6 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness, you clearly make too much sense to have a popular KZitem channel. Seriously though, excellent presentation and delivery. LEAPS comes naturally to some, but for many it takes concerted practice and effort to learn how to do it well.
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
So true. And even for those to whom it comes natural, practice helps.
@jesuschristiskingandsavior461
2 жыл бұрын
I love this! So important and underrated. Not talked about enough
@Allthetube01
5 жыл бұрын
One of the best and most useful skills as a self defender, this here is gold!
@hfarthingt
6 жыл бұрын
@Active Self Protection Extra Thank you for taking the time to make this great video. Reminds me of a quote in Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion, ""When you react, the event controls you. When you respond, you're in control." Might make a good opening quote for an applicable ASP video one day 😉
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
Good call!
@lukenordvick1861
2 жыл бұрын
I took notes on this one. Very informative!
@scrider5493
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for this info. I would take a class with practice sessions on this. My admiration for you as a Pastor when people come to you and want you to do magic.
@iancornell141
6 жыл бұрын
I used to be called a wuss in high school but I still avoid physical conflict at all cost. People should never carry a firearm and be looking for a fight
@freeonlineselfdefenselesso8445
4 жыл бұрын
Very wise words Ian.
@bjkarana
8 ай бұрын
One of my good friends during my Freshman year of HS got into quite a few scraps (I'd hang around as backup, but never had to get involved) and he altogether stopped getting into altercations unless one was unavoidable just because of all the hassle of going to the Principal, risking suspension, having to go see the nurse etc. Avoiding fights makes you smart, not a wuss.
@davidwilson832
Жыл бұрын
Hi John, great video - love those tactics. Something I'd like to share though is, please be careful with the response of "I understand", also; I recommend to not asking "why?". Replace "why" with either "How" or "What". I got this from Chris Voss and his teachings. Thanks David
@compasslife6658
6 жыл бұрын
Excellent presentation on the sources of conflict and how to de-escalate. If we can avoid pouring verbal gasoline on a potentially volatile situation, we've been successful. Check your ego, apologize and respect, and let the other guy be "right" in order to both safely go home.
@bighorn4908
6 жыл бұрын
Very well said. I’m happy to see you take on this subject. I look forward to more like this.
@zilla22221
3 жыл бұрын
John, great job with this de escalation strategy. It’s so important to use these skills when practical. I first saw this LEAPS strategy at a seminar with Sensei Ian Abernathy from Europe. If you ever get a chance to train with him I think you would appreciate his martial arts style. Thanks for you work
@davidmunyon65
6 жыл бұрын
This is the kind of video the left will never show and I feel represents the mind set of most conceal carry people. Thanks John. Please keep these vids comming!
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for the encouragement David; I really appreciate it. Hope you have a great day!
@mezajarjarbinks5180
6 жыл бұрын
John, You are absolutely right! Great approach to use the other person's anger to disarm them. I have learned that it is impossible for anyone to win an argument. It seems to be human nature. Chuck
@AslansMane88
2 жыл бұрын
Excellent! I will now use the LEAPSS method to replace the AKBARR method! (Accuse them of perfidy Kill the connection Bark orders Agitate their state Reach into your robe Retrieve your projectiles)
@ASPextra
2 жыл бұрын
Lol
@farwalker3672
6 жыл бұрын
This is what I hear you saying… Very standard counseling technique. But it works. It works very well. Great video.
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
Yep, standard! :)
@soulesailor
6 жыл бұрын
Most important front line skill. Great video.
@cdb5662
6 жыл бұрын
Excellent video! One of the best KZitem channels. Period. Keep em coming.
@zer0thirteen
6 жыл бұрын
Some motivational interviewing techniques in there. Great video John.
@vitaly6312
4 жыл бұрын
I was gonna say this is kinda like OARS in MI.
@unknowninfinium4353
4 жыл бұрын
Summary for all those who want written format with additional notes: ## Leaps Leaps stand for: L.E.A.P.S *Listening* - Listening to what others is saying. - Active listening - Make Eye contact, use body language, nod your head, say "Yeah i get what you are saying" "okay i am hearing ya" - If they are big and out there, you can say "I undertstand" "Come and talk to me" "lets talk real quick" "tell me whats goign on" "Let me hear whats happening and why you are frustrated, can you tell me please" - If He/She is verbalising why that person is upset then he is not planinng on attacking you, also gives him time to vent the emotion. - Give ques "ah uh i understand" "tell me what else is going on, what caused this, why is it there" *Emphatize or Empathy* - Empatize with the other person or empathy. - "In your situation i probabaly feel the same" - "If i am dealing or going thorugh what you are going through i priably feel the same, it makes a lot of sense to me" - then you no longer are their enemy *Ask Questions* - Ask questions. Ask questions about what they are communicating. Inquire about what they are saying. - For example: "So let me try to understand what you are saying" - "Let me get it right" "So what you are saying" - By asking questions you are giving them more opoorutnity to talk, more opporuntiy to vent. - More opportunity to give you things to help make a good solution - For example "You cut me off" you say "I am sorry. I dint catch it, when did that happen" *Paraphrase* - We listened, we asked questions now we paraphrase what they have said to make sure we have got it, once they cakmed down a little its a good time to paraphrase "let me make sure i have heard you correctly" "let me make sure i have what you are interested in" "what i have heard you say is" "you came to the store and ordered something and you dint get it, so you want me to do something about it, is that correct?" *Summarizing* - "Okay so here is what we can do about that". All this time you are thinking of a solution at the same time getting what i need and not giving them something unhealthy. "what is it that you would like to see happen? okay i can do that no problem" - For example when you have cut them off and you done all the process of LEAPS and you say "Okay so what do you think is the best solution here, what would you like me to do" and when they say "Why dont you just learn to drive" you then reply "okay you want me to drive better, no problem i can do that, thanks for the thought" - When you have given them what they want they have no reason to be violent anymore - In some instances when you cant give them what they want "listen man i cant do that you know what my rules are over here but lets see if you can come to some sort of arrangement over hear. Lets see what we can do to make it right, i am on your team and i want to help you get what you need we can do that in a way i can get mine as well, sounds good to you" when you ask questions, you are on their side and it beings them down. *Save space* - Make sure they dont face any social consequence. - Most of the time people will know they are angry and will chill. they might give you an apology but thats not your goal, you're goal is to de escalate.
@unknowninfinium4353
4 жыл бұрын
Additional notes: *Body Language* - Notice when he explains it his arms fold, stretch, wave, reach out. It gives a sense that he is understanding and cares for you. Folding both your arms is creating barrier between you and listener which stops the free flow of communication and comes in between. For example: When you cross your both your arms its giving the signal that you are closed off. However he corpses just one arm which isn't closing off. *Wide eyes and raised eyebrows* - Another thing which went unnoticed naturally he is experienced and doeskin know he is doing it. When you raise your eyebrows and talk it immediately establishes connection and makes the other person feel like he is being listened.
@CarlosHernandez-se6sq
Жыл бұрын
Thank you very much
@davidlujan8088
6 жыл бұрын
Awesome vid John... at work I watched a training video about conflict resolution.. one thing that was said and I could have used previously in my employment career.. it said " What do you think would be fair".
@MarlinRoth
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve been a viewer for a long time. Recently, I was at the hardware store for a home project I was working on. I went to the urinal in the mens room because I had to pee really bad. While peeing, I farted. Unbeknownst to me, a stranger was in the stall nearby. After I farted, he said, “Sounds like you need to sit down.” In response to this, I said, “No I’m good for now, just in the middle of doing some work-“ He cut me off and screamed, “HEY NOBODY ASKED! I DONT ____ING CARE!” I calmly responded, “What?…” He yelled “YEAH THATS RIGHT B____!” I responded, “Sorry… didn’t know I was causing a problem.” He yelled “YEAH WELL IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT IF YOURE GONNA TALK S___ THEN I WILL TALK IT RIGHT BACK TO YOU!” I desperately wanted to respond and diss him for insulting strangers needlessly while he sat on a public toilet. I didn’t say anything that I could imagine would be misconstrued as “talking sh__”… …so I washed my hands and calmly responded “… understood.” And I left the bathroom. Who’s to say that guy isn’t a raging lunatic or that he had a knife and would have pulled his pants up to start something physical with me lol. Every fight I don’t get into is a fight I win. Verbal Judo, baby.
@ASPextra
2 жыл бұрын
Good lord, what an idiot that guy was!
@Deeo31
6 жыл бұрын
John, congratulations and continued success. This new channel is phenomenal! Thank you!!
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for the encouragement Dee O.; I really appreciate it. Hope you have a great day!
@mr.charley1507
6 жыл бұрын
Well done young man!
@TexasIsHome1836
5 жыл бұрын
Excellent video on an excellent skill. I appreciate your thoroughness. As you intimated, this skill has many applications in life. I liked how you used some examples of things we might encounter too. I wish we could have a whole video on different scenarios to get different ideas and be prepared for possible encounters
@ASPextra
5 жыл бұрын
That's a reasonable idea. :)
@andrewmcnown9191
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing, I really appreciate your very human approach to dealing with and defusing conflict.
@Kilnor
5 жыл бұрын
I love this thought. An uncomfortable discussion is way easier to deal with than a fistfight, or gunfight. I just went through a situation where I pulled into a parking and upon walking towards the entrance I heard yelling and swearing. Come to find out a guy I know in his 70s was getting yelled at by a much younger guy for parking in a no parking zone near the entrance door. They were taking turns yelling and swearing at each other. I approached them and calmly told the aggressor that my friend would move his car. I looked at my mother in laws boyfriend and told him to just move his car, which he finally ended up doing. No one was hurt, that's a win in my book. But some of the things people fight and argue about is ridiculous.
@2Atreehugger
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you John. Outstanding! People listen.....
@mitchvice8810
6 жыл бұрын
Looks like you’re slimming down dude! Keep it up!
@genarov160
3 жыл бұрын
Excellent information thank you
@ASPextra
3 жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@Michele0403
6 жыл бұрын
I was expecting that the "S" was gonna be "Solution"..... Great video. Really liked it. I used to stand a little sideways to the person, not straight at them..... and in some cases, I would take a little step, and if the person took a little step, then I knew I had them..... They will gradually follow me to a different location, while they are venting.....
@tonyalonso7130
5 жыл бұрын
As a self-defender who is also a social worker I really think that this is super important! However we often don't practice this. It is a skill and it needs practice :)
@potchd
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you. This is very useful to know.
@rickryen8648
6 жыл бұрын
Most useful instruction yet.
@klaus3794
6 жыл бұрын
Very important advice to communicate and live in peace!
@mr.charley1507
6 жыл бұрын
I do that all the time, good advice!
@davidwilson832
Жыл бұрын
If you haven't heard of Chris Voss, check him out - I think you like his communication methods. Thanks for everything you do. David
@awesomekasim
6 жыл бұрын
Excellent video. I truly wish officers displayed better de-escalation tactics when interacting with people who aren’t an immediate threat
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
99.99% of the time, they do.
@4America2024
6 жыл бұрын
‘VIGILANCE’ by author, Joe Mayberry, has a whole chapter on this experience. John’s video is really informative. We also learn the imprtance of verbal communication at Systema Berkoot in Sarasota.
@bjkarana
8 ай бұрын
I'm 39 now, and when I was in my 20s I used to let my ego get the best of me at times and give a-holes their attitude right back to them. Of course with a few more years under my belt, and two young children to take care of, I've learned why that's a terrible idea, and honestly, I _always_ felt like a tool after getting into it (verbally) with people even if though I was usually in the right. My experience with LEAPS is that I stay in control of my emotions so that I think clearly when encountering an unexpected stressful situation.
@ASPextra
8 ай бұрын
That growth is so important. Well done man.
@ChrisGualazzi
5 жыл бұрын
Excellent. Thank you.
@davidrpriest
6 жыл бұрын
The best way to win a fight is to avoid one. Remember, there are three battles you will have to fight and win. Gunfight, Legal Battle and Psychological Battle. That's right, if you kill someone you may be psychologically scarred for life. Most keyboard commandos do not consider this issue. Avoid trouble and de-escalate until you have no other option. The exception to this is when other people are getting killed or injured by an evil person, then I believe that you have to go into sheepdog mode and intervene to protect the innocent.
@Sgt5105
6 жыл бұрын
dang, I've been using the LEAPS method for years and didn't even know it.... cool.
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
I used it for quite awhile before having that acronym to put to it.
@tonymatulonis2136
6 жыл бұрын
This topic is one of the most important and I'm glad you did a video. Do a few more if there is feedback from other interested people. I love your channel. I live in Maryland. Do you know of any good teachers of the dark arts around Baltimore?
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
Maryland is a dark place for self-defense. :(
@jakeells66
4 жыл бұрын
Social engineering and good acting can get you so far.
@theargonauts8490
6 жыл бұрын
This was pretty good. I always wondered what this verbal judo stuff was all about. It seemed like it was almost an introductory course. I feel like I owe ASP money for tuition after this. But I'm not paying you John!!! How does that make you feel? What can we do to resolve this issue? :)
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
Okay, Matthew, tell me what the challenge is...
@brandonsimons543
6 жыл бұрын
Great video thank you
@The_uCe_
6 жыл бұрын
I did bouncing for awhile and verbal judo came in handy plenty of times! It was a little tougher getting through drunk peoples heads at times though.
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
Yeah alcohol increases the difficulty level.
@CopperBeech777
4 жыл бұрын
@@ASPextra drunk or high on drugs also
@woodrow1037
6 жыл бұрын
Good stuff. Blessings
@cruisersonly
6 жыл бұрын
Setting your ego aside is a big part of this. If the end result of some unpleasant encounter is some goon insulting your mother and your manhood as you and him go your separate ways... Does that really affect your life? It certainly affects your life a lot less than even the time spend explaining to the police what the whole affair was about... Even if that s the end of it. It affects you a lot less than the cash you would have to spend to replace your pepper spray canister even. ;) No need to even get into the other potential costs of a conflict scenario. I have also noticed over the years... For what it is worth... few people with a maturity level above Jr High school are more impressed by the guy mouthing off than by the guy who shrugs the insults off with honest disregard for them and continues their day. Any "date" who needs you to get in a fight for her rather than making it in time for the dinner reservations and continuing on with the evenings activities... Yeah, you probably are better off without her. In my experience most "dates" worth hanging onto will find your maturity, self confidence and your ability to rise above the juvenile behavior much more attractive. ;) And if you carry, as I expect most of us here do.... do you really want to escalate some trivial situation to the places it might go?
@chrisboyd1408
5 жыл бұрын
Great video. We need the LEAPS for the five people who dislike this video. Violence should be the last option as it may end someone's life including mine.
@Jeromealdebaran
5 жыл бұрын
De escalation is a very important skill to have, most of the time, associated with avoidance and awareness, this can solve many of the problems and bad issues. OC spray will be usefull if if can't de escalate, or if the guy do NOT want. Of course it does not work all the time...
@chrisboyd1408
5 жыл бұрын
John, would you please do a video on hearing protection: muffs, plugs, etc.
@ASPextra
5 жыл бұрын
Yes, I think that's good.
@anthonymcgaugh8506
Жыл бұрын
GREAT information as always, but "Beanie Babies" and "Cabbage Patch Kids?" I know this video is old but I didn't realize it was from the 1980's. :D
@ASPextra
Жыл бұрын
Haha dated pop culture references are my jam!
@QuinnEdwards1
3 жыл бұрын
People want to be understood and feel that what they have said matters
@thomasmorris3780
3 жыл бұрын
Do you know when the next class of yours in Wisconsin will be?
@ASPextra
3 жыл бұрын
I don't know that we have one in 2021, but we are open later in the year.
@chandjor0009
3 жыл бұрын
A drug addict approached me and cut off my escape a little. They were quite mentally unstable too. I was able to make them laugh and it deescalated. I'm pretty happy about it. Second day carrying pepper spray.
@ryan6600
3 жыл бұрын
De escalation is good but some people don’t wanna talk so always be ready for physical contact but make sure physical contact is the last resort
@backroadbeetle4781
10 ай бұрын
I talked down two attempted armed robberies (I'd die trying to run or defend myself) and made a lot of friends outa people that wanted to beat me up. It's really amazing.
@backroadbeetle4781
10 ай бұрын
I've only had one situation where it didn't work. It was with a coworker where his ex he still lived with liked me 😂. Tried my hardest but he still physically threatened me.
@LogicBob
6 жыл бұрын
I'd love to see some video examples of this kind of deescalation! It shouldn't be too hard with all the body cameras in law enforcement, right?
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
They usually take quite a few minutes for the whole thing, honestly.
@LogicBob
6 жыл бұрын
Active Self Protection Extra Okay? I'm sure you're not suggesting that we have received enough "training" on the subject and I doubt there is any other resource that will take less time... Maybe something to consider for the extra channel? When/if you run across a good example...
@Vizzini_
3 жыл бұрын
Question about the "Beanie Baby" situation: what would you do/say if the other person still thinks that you should give it to them even though you picked it up first? I am all for de-escalating and helping the other person but at the same time I wouldn't want to hand over what is rightfully mine.
@ASPextra
3 жыл бұрын
It’s totally fine to set and maintain boundaries. :) at the same time if they decide they’re willing to fight you over it, do you want that fight? Knowing the potentials?
@xijinchan
6 жыл бұрын
Love your vids John. One thing I somewhat disagree with is the idea to de-escalate means accepting looking less alpha. Conversely, the self-assurance, emotional maturity & verbal confidence displayed when de-escalating, I totally see as an ultimate alpha quality. If we celebrated it more as such while pointing out how beta / childish being an emotional aggressor is, perhaps more say youth would aspire towards the former than senseless violence.
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
Okay, I can see that approach and value it.
@adamgrochowski8413
5 ай бұрын
Did you in another video say that P can also stand for Provide Alternatives?
@ASPextra
5 ай бұрын
No that would be part of S. Save face.
@SicC678
6 жыл бұрын
I must have an ASP ball cap! ! link for purchase John?
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
It’s in the shop. Link in description.
@JohnDoe-on6ru
2 жыл бұрын
The LEAPS method is leaps and bounds ahead of the other methods
@joshuamurtz2058
6 жыл бұрын
Good verbal judo . Before you deescilate a situation , you must first deescilate yourself .
@JackIsNotInTheBox
3 жыл бұрын
What's the point carrying a gun if you're not gonna use it, am I right?
@ASPextra
3 жыл бұрын
No.
@_mj_johnson
2 жыл бұрын
Lol, if anyone wants practical practice with this, de-escalating with an upset toddler will give you amazing LEAPSS skills. This sounds *exactly* like walking a kid through their emotions when they don’t know how to self-regulate yet. Most of the time their issue/s seem completely nonsensical to an adult, but it really does teach you how to stop, listen, and find solutions, without any aggression. (There’s also a technique in multi-person therapy that teaches this kind of non-judge mental listening and summarizing if you want to look up videos about conflict resolution.) Spoiler alert, don’t try to walk up to some random upset kid and start talking to them, make sure you’re not being a creeper. Don’t wanna have mama bear dispense the spicy treat or lead at you! Make sure if you’re going to try kid-tantrum-de-escalation that you have consent from the parents and the kid and that you’re not a threat yourself.
@ASPextra
2 жыл бұрын
Great application.
@Aknatcal87
6 жыл бұрын
So, LEAP would be said without the "s" on the end. And adding an "s" for "Save Face" would then be pronounced, "Lee-ps". Right? Cause I think you're saying, "leapses"...(:
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
LEAPSS.
@Aknatcal87
6 жыл бұрын
I missed "summarize"...(:
@jumpykilllerqx6029
6 жыл бұрын
May you just a have a quick chat in the live chats with David.
@johnnyhalf6558
6 жыл бұрын
John " Gary Franchi from the Nextnewsnetwork here on utube has a video thats pretty funny ! Title " Armed Robers get instant Carma " Its shows surveillance video .Gary always tells people to share his storys and links .But Im not that tec.savy. So I don't want to make mistakes or lose the info. Any way its. brief but pretty good. Merry Christmas John. Chicago
@Leonardokite
6 жыл бұрын
And I might add that it's not a once through 5 step (or 6) method, but is iterative more so in the first 4 steps. I learned this basic method years ago (no leaps to go with it) I used it with my wife all the time and it worked wonders. One thing with being the big monkey/top dog....that certainly is easier to overcome with age in most cases. It's funny after many years of experience seeing what matters in life and what really doesn't. Back down, kick back and laugh at the folly of the immature fools.
@curtiscopeland7975
6 жыл бұрын
This would probably do wonders in marriages! Lol. I'll start initiating it in mine!
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
BIG TIME!
@Pedro_Pablo_Castellon
2 жыл бұрын
LEAPSS Listen (active listening) Empathize Ask questions Paraphrase Summarize Save Face (to keep your reputation and avoid others losing respect for you)
@otr-mtbandfitness
10 ай бұрын
Wow, step 1 how much better would a first contact with a badge be if it was “could you come tell me what’s going on?”
@rogerkreil3314
6 жыл бұрын
My roommate gets agitated very easily. But he hasn't gotten violent yet and I have lived with him for over five years.
@Indianahillclimber
6 жыл бұрын
"go kick rocks" lol
@timthenurse
3 жыл бұрын
Wanting to take on the "bad guy"is just a heart attitude of pre-meditated vengeance. "I want someone to start something, so that I can exact my righteous vengeance on them." Its a wrong heart attitude.
@theflamingone8729
Жыл бұрын
Not necessarily vengeance, it's just wanting to hurt someone, but not wanting to look "bad". I watch a lot of self defence channels, and there's plenty of these guys who claim to have been in 100+ street fights, it's not hard to think that maybe they're the problem. I've worked as a bouncer, loss prevention in a shopping centre, support worker in homeless shelters and halfway houses and a support worker for mentally ill or intellectually disabled people, I have had very few hands on experiences, and I will admit 30% of them wouldn't have happened if I had just ignored an insult.
@karlkaiser7803
6 жыл бұрын
I have always said,, i am sorry its my fault , and just the apology is usual accepted.. and it goes away.
@johnpaulmarkes
4 жыл бұрын
So how to solve who gets the beanie baby?
@dapperafxdapperafx394
4 жыл бұрын
This dude would get a fade before asking questions worked lol
@brandongrayson456
6 жыл бұрын
But do I give up the beanie baby?
@ASPextra
6 жыл бұрын
Is a beanie baby worth a fist fight? If so, maybe your understanding of Christmas could use some consideration. :)
@brandongrayson456
6 жыл бұрын
Active Self Protection Extra ...come on John it was a joke brother love your work
@brandongrayson456
6 жыл бұрын
Active Self Protection Extra ... o and I'm pretty sure I have alot better grasp on the concept of chrisrmas...although it may upset some people...christmas is a pagan rooted holiday that gives the illusion of being our saviors birthday...which is completely false...christmas is all about the material world and hardly a "Christian" holiday same for easter...worship of Esther a pagan fertility goddess hence the eggs and rabbits...i can honestly go on but I don't wanna be a holiday buzzkill...anyway John you have a wonderful holiday and God bless
@yocland8841
4 жыл бұрын
I wish john woulda been my pops.
@williamnelson2298
3 жыл бұрын
Remember L.E.A.P.S.S
@trae05boi
8 ай бұрын
Comment.
@johnbeltran2736
2 жыл бұрын
If only this worked on people under the influence...
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