I have had an interesting, emotionally draining day. I am still very much reacting to everything in a low vibrational, negative, sad, and highly anxious way. Which brings on panic attacks and crying.
I just keep getting hit with more news. Like the room that is free for me to use doesn't have a door. My friend didn't see that as something worth telling me. I asked after receiving pictures of the room. I explained that I needed a door for personal space and privacy, to which she replied...
"No need for one ! It's a farm ...and we don't have secrets what's mine is yours. ..is our philosophy."
I asked her to call me so we could chat, since I really think we need to speak. I have a lot of questions. Specifically about the bore, since she said she was working on it as they had no water. I also wanted to ask her to give me the measurements of the door since I can buy a no drill makeshift door for my personal space. I even googled the laws at they all said for a room to be considered a bedroom, it is required to have a door.
I waited until well after 5 p.m. before sending her a message if she was available to chat. I then tried calling her, but there was no answer. I have ended up sending a number of messages, asking about things, and to once again ask for her to please call me. I've now asked if she will call me in the morning. I'm finding this strange.
My friend Cathy said my friend must be one of those who are just super relaxed. She said...
"Re: instructions, sounds like she's a hit more Hakuna matata than you are prepared for
A lot of folk up here are like that.
Nothing is gonna be crisis worthy at the farm. You're self contained. Your car works. You can leave. I'm not far away".
And yet all throughout the day, I had the same thought on repeat in my mind. Probably because it was something I had just messaged to my mum only moments ago. I had told my mum that I know there is a solution to every problem. That the universe has been showing me things going wrong, so that I can see that they always work out.
I have absolutely no idea what I am getting myself into. But I know I would be haunted by the what ifs, if I don't go. Cathy gave me another helpful piece of advice...
"You need to just go. To get on the road. You've reached a point where there's nothing else you can do from where you are so you brain is misbehaving."
I think she and everyone is right. Sammie also said there is a caravan and a liveable bus. Though the bus is a project with the potential to be great.
Oh, I mention in the video how much I would love to own a motor home or self contained drivable vechile. I would happily sell all my furniture. Learn to live one set off clothing each. Or more, different outfits for all weather and retate them. I would absolutely love to live a nomad life. I could easily sort my house in that regard. I'm packing everything I use for this trip, so everything else can probably be gotten ride off. Well, one step at a time.
Anyway, I'm still clearly in flight (there's no fright) and easily triggered by stuff more than usual right now. But I just keep focusing on all the good. I have three living spaces to choose from. I'll be there Sunday night to Friday evening by myself to work on healing me. And in a way, I'm now realising having the bus to do up and renovate, would actually fun and exactly what happened with my current home.
It's later than I thought. I have to upload.
11:34 p.m.
Негізгі бет Day 948: 3rd August 2024 | Part 2 | I need a door 🚪😅
Пікірлер: 2