Don is a normal person from our universe who ended up trapped in the alternate reality where The Onion exists.
@svrvphimprod
Жыл бұрын
That's the only way I can make sense of this
@senny-
Жыл бұрын
He's gonna get along well with that Korean sociologist and that spelling bee kid
@comradeconrad
Жыл бұрын
It's like Frank Grimes getting a job at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.
@glassprism1672
11 ай бұрын
@@senny-and the Hispanic immigrant that’s from outer space
@utubercouchvegetable2172
9 ай бұрын
Alternative?
@williambradshaw7220
8 жыл бұрын
The healing has begun.
@darthvaderisawesome2573
5 жыл бұрын
It has indeed
@fds7476
3 жыл бұрын
A five year-old comment with 1.4 thousand upvotes, and only one (well, now two) comments? Unpossible.
@charlieniven6558
3 жыл бұрын
@@fds7476 three
@Lollita23
3 жыл бұрын
It truly has
@hunterghobadi1269
3 жыл бұрын
five
@dogwiththeteeth3135
4 жыл бұрын
This is like a fever dream you get trapped in
@jackreid2664
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah he is the only sane person here and its actually really unsettling
@moistnugget4147
3 жыл бұрын
But do you like being healed?
@mercster
6 жыл бұрын
The miracles don't stop there, Don!
@Redhotquagmire
5 ай бұрын
BUT WAIT!! ... There's more! 😃
@Inediblehulk
12 жыл бұрын
That "Horses Live Up to 35 Years" graphic was pefectly timed and almost killed me. Well done, whoever!
@lazygenie5616
2 жыл бұрын
Enjoy your first like in 9 years
@talking_with_experts_podcast
8 ай бұрын
lmao
@jesseward4115
6 жыл бұрын
At 30 inches "Kevin" is the same height as his namesake. I'm dying lol
@rastahatattack706
5 жыл бұрын
Not dying as much as Kevin did
@yanshuoli69
4 жыл бұрын
30 inches ;)
@martinvansanten4417
9 жыл бұрын
"We are going to meet the ugliest woman alive" A laughed out loud, but then I remember that Lizzie Velásquez was several times presented as the ugliest woman on earth in real tv, so that's just sad.
@manthe3711
4 жыл бұрын
To be fair, despite her good heart, Lizzie does look like shit.
@AJ69238
4 жыл бұрын
@@manthe3711 maybe, but it's not right to publicly ostracize her like that. She has a rare genetic disease that is in no way her fault.
@manthe3711
4 жыл бұрын
@@AJ69238 Even with no rare disease, it's not ugly people's fault if they're ugly. They were just born this way. The fact that it's not their fault doesn't change the other fact: they're ugly indeed.
@TheMW2informer
4 жыл бұрын
It should be Lizzo instead
@TheMW2informer
4 жыл бұрын
Manthe Hahahaha I gotta see this LMFAO
@Truthiness231
12 жыл бұрын
"We've named her after your beautiful wife!" ROFL, some pretty funny very dark stuff here
@decaying_meat
Жыл бұрын
You commented this 11 years ago
@username55ify
Жыл бұрын
@@decaying_meat You commented this 2 weeks ago
@masonruiz361
10 ай бұрын
you commented this 5 months ago
@YashRaj-zs1oo
9 ай бұрын
@@masonruiz361 you commented this 1 month ago
@breakfreak3181
8 ай бұрын
@@YashRaj-zs1oo You commented this 2 weeks ago.
@Dtitilator
6 ай бұрын
_"Don't say that in front of your Laura, you're hurting her feelings..."_ - That's some top level f*cked up gaslighting right there.
@Kleavers
12 жыл бұрын
The headline 'Dead Wife And Kids Replaced By Miniature Horses' in itself is already amazing.
@FC01
4 жыл бұрын
Dan was the most coherent person on the onion
@jackreid2664
3 жыл бұрын
His sanity is terrifying when contrasted when contrasted with the world around him
@BirdGang6
Жыл бұрын
“We’ve named her after your beautiful wife Laura” Just fucking brutal lol
@jerryneighbors6397
9 жыл бұрын
This has got to be one of the Onion's funniest.
@FelisBX7
4 жыл бұрын
Plot twist: the horses are actually his family reincarnated
@siimkivisild2251
3 жыл бұрын
No his family never died they were always horses hiding human suits
@theworkethic
3 жыл бұрын
😂
@PennyDreadfuI
12 жыл бұрын
Bridles of Hope changed my life after my wife mysteriously disappeared and my car was then carjacked the next week and driven into a lake with the kids still in their car seats. These miniature horses have completely alleviated the guilt... er... unbearable grief and sadness.
@megastar54000
9 ай бұрын
Most early 2000s comment I've ever read
@liamferguson4145
8 ай бұрын
@@megastar54000most early 2020s comment I’ve ever read
@johnsm7th
7 ай бұрын
@@liamferguson4145 most last month's comment I've ever read
@snacc-1100
7 ай бұрын
this is the most comment@@johnsm7th
@livefreest
12 жыл бұрын
0:53 "Man peddling easy answers quickly elevated to position of influence" lol
@gomongio
Жыл бұрын
Sad but true 😢
@DodaGarcia
8 ай бұрын
Quite prescient
@donaldhamilton5345
4 жыл бұрын
It's 2019 and those mini horses are allowed on passenger planes . The Onion has always been ahead of the curve ball ..
@riftvallance2087
4 жыл бұрын
Or we are just very behind it.
@yasinomidi7525
4 жыл бұрын
@Robert Griffin III probably in the cargo bay with the other animals like medium-large dogs
@maxtech226
4 жыл бұрын
@@yasinomidi7525 well therapy animals are usually allowed in the passenger areas and chinese officials regularly travel with goddamn pandas so it stands to reason that they could be in passenger areas
@bumbledouche3323
4 жыл бұрын
I wonder how they reconcile the weight of the horse with your allocated baggage allowance...?
@ShawnJonesHellion
2 жыл бұрын
I get the idea Nolan Ryan worked for them
@waddledeo
2 жыл бұрын
Jim Haggarty: “The nightmare of losing one’s entire family is almost unimaginable to most of us.” He still has no idea.
@nise6699
Жыл бұрын
And replacing family with animals
@Jshowni1
12 жыл бұрын
"Your hurting her feelings don"
@U-D13
12 жыл бұрын
1:40 - That's right, we named her after your beautiful wife. - What?! His facial expression is priceless.
@warrensmith8161
7 жыл бұрын
What do you get when the horse dies?
@adriannissen
7 жыл бұрын
A miniature jockey
@FlSKMASTER
5 жыл бұрын
Two more horses
@iced-imran1247
5 жыл бұрын
A noose
@bojanglesfries
5 жыл бұрын
a mini mini horse
@sofaking3113
4 жыл бұрын
BojanglesFries what do you get when that dies
@dreamingpixles
12 жыл бұрын
"It's never going to be the same again Don, you're just going to have to accept that." I clicked on this video thinking it couldn't be as sad or strange as it sounded. It was even more so.
@copperdaylight
Жыл бұрын
Last I heard. Kevin has been able to adapt naturally with the new family. They are even expecting a new family member later this month.
@ph0enix321
Жыл бұрын
I am wearing a shirt with Venom on it
@EmeraldView
10 ай бұрын
Some people are so ungrateful. Glad he came around. What a wonderful thing that organization is doing.
@castonyoung7514
6 ай бұрын
You've clearly never lost someone. He wasn't being ungrateful, it's just that in his current state nothing could really seem good anymore. It messes you up real bad. I once knew someone who had just lost their husband and wouldn't even let me auction off his stuff. Sort of a grief-based delusional state.
@acapybara3032
4 ай бұрын
@@castonyoung7514my friend, it's satire
@goatbut29
3 жыл бұрын
News ticker at the bottom: "Lobster brutally ripped apart".
@McVila96
8 жыл бұрын
awwww this ponies are so cute
@seanfast6628
7 жыл бұрын
Guillem Vilanova mini horse not a pony
@drabberfrog
3 жыл бұрын
@@seanfast6628 they're close enough
@murrayshekelberg9754
2 жыл бұрын
Thats his wife you're lusting after
@gomongio
Жыл бұрын
Ponies? Are you seeing double? 😮
@sologemeni
11 ай бұрын
The Onion writers are utterly spectacular. masterwork satire. can't believe my eyes
@jt4369
9 ай бұрын
We’re….*were* utterly spectacular. They’ve self muzzled because actual quality satire is being suppressed.
@radscorpion8
7 ай бұрын
@@jt4369 well at least we still have this treasure trove, maybe it will inspire future writers
@ruidadgmailcanada8508
7 ай бұрын
Watch Porkin’ Across America. That’s their finest masterpiece.
@sologemeni
7 ай бұрын
already did. best amphetamine night show binge this year@@ruidadgmailcanada8508
@samurailevi49
3 жыл бұрын
Look at those soft eyes. What a beautiful horse.
@MomijitheWolf128
11 жыл бұрын
This is just Gold
@mrbriscoe2001
12 жыл бұрын
Great scroll at the bottom: My favorite: "Pat Robertson attributes Great Weather to Heterosexuals...."
@April_a26
5 жыл бұрын
Lovecraftian.
@asmallphd9648
5 жыл бұрын
Copy.
@nasralnanaraban
4 жыл бұрын
РУССКИЕ ВПЕРЁД
@deadlandplacebo1695
4 жыл бұрын
Id call it more kafkaesque. Being brought onto a TV show to talk about your dead family and then being forced to care for 3 horses while everyone shows indifference
@_Pike
4 жыл бұрын
Deadland Placebo You’re about 12 and you have a thesaurus
@deadlandplacebo1695
4 жыл бұрын
@@_Pike actually I thought about this an I kind agree like love-craftian preyed on your own imagination to think of the most terrifying horrid creature, so much more effective than just like words or whatever. Then kafka asked the audience if they could do the opposite the line for this complaint desk has been moving forward for a year and is now on the celling in relation to where I started. But don't make a fuss or you'll bee put all the way back. But no a thesaurus would not give you those words as interchangeable and there was no like spelling mistakes so what is calling 12 an insult? Because I font agree with you? About the like style of the video? A pretty objective thing?
@u0455294
12 жыл бұрын
"encourage abstinence with incest-only education." Oh man, that was funny...
@AlissaK1994
12 жыл бұрын
I think that Today Now is the best thing ever created, the hosts are hilarious!
@isrofilov11
2 жыл бұрын
"75% of Americans favor blacjack-based pensions" lol, that was quite unexpected & original I just love old Onion videos
@connorlyons2790
10 жыл бұрын
OF COURSE IT'S REAL, THE ONION IS AS REAL AS BATMAN
@jonnda
4 жыл бұрын
Did he recently get on his airplane with this emotional support animal.
@deeznuts8659
3 жыл бұрын
I f*cking died when they named the horse after his wife XD
@DeadWhiteButterflies
12 жыл бұрын
I love how it's as if they guy's entire grip on reality just crashes and burns around him.
@GuyFromNebraska
12 жыл бұрын
Damn I need one of them horses! So cute!
@justinmuller6383
10 ай бұрын
I love the " Oats " Vibe. Which is similar to Black Mirror, but with the Uneasynes inducing surreal Elements. Having a Derek or a Don really sets a Point to relate, which tempts to further examine the absurdity. Having their Sanity vanish abrubtly also leaves one drowning in surreal Vibes. Basically interdimensional TV with a WAY better Scrypt. I was 11 when the show came out, so it really feels like finding Internet Gold. Thank you for entertaining me
@wasabichicken4433
4 жыл бұрын
RIP lil' Sebastian!
@1marcelfilms
8 ай бұрын
What a great way to dispose of unwanted miniature horses
@yerdasellsavon9232
2 жыл бұрын
So kind, very holesome 😃😃😔
@vinnyjhawer7847
7 ай бұрын
" I don't even know what's going on anymore" i couldn't stop laughing 😂 😅😂
@TheSmithChannel
9 ай бұрын
This was so emotional to watch. The heartfelt generosity of so many organizations rallying to the cause to help this man out and to help out so many others in distress as well. Please, tell Laura I love her.
@Butteryjam
12 жыл бұрын
The scrolling banners on onion videos are amazing on their own, take some time out just to read them!.
@ModernBarbarian187
12 жыл бұрын
What I want that list! lol very funny dark humor. I want one of those little horses...
@northernzeus768
3 жыл бұрын
I wish the best for Don and Laura.
@LuisCalderon_HN
4 жыл бұрын
"Ann Coulter in surgery to have elbows removed from her face" lol
@immortalsun
4 жыл бұрын
This is fucking perfect. I can’t stop rewatching The Onion videos.
@SunnyMoon2010
12 жыл бұрын
I always amazed by the actor and actress on Onion News. They are very natural. So natural that one may think they are for real.
@Reddebrek46
12 жыл бұрын
"Man Peddling easy answers quickly elevated to position of influence" entertaining and informative.
@Holmesy87
12 жыл бұрын
He's the ultimate Brony xD
@jacobgoldenofficial4321
3 жыл бұрын
"The healing has begun "❤
@DemiurgeRulesOK
9 ай бұрын
I also still have a place for her in my heart. She was once my fiancee, loving Laura the pony. But duties of compassion took precedence and my betrothed galloped to the stable doors of Bridles of Hope, so that people like Don could be comforted during his darkest hours. It was better that way, for I could not afford a wedding ring for her tender hoof. Still, if I can just also ask that you tell Laura I love her too, and for her not to cry, as my love for her will never die. And perhaps, just perhaps, once in a while, when Laura and Don are visiting a chapel, or when Laura wakes up each morning, she might say a little prayer for me.
@relentlessgaming6870
Жыл бұрын
“75% of Americans favor black-jack related pensions” is too good
@gabriels335
4 жыл бұрын
Can i please see that segment coming up " a little later" mentioned @ the start...
@SirTreehugger
12 жыл бұрын
i can feel the love in their eyes
@dhalbrohr
2 жыл бұрын
this tiny horse is so cute! ponny! aww
@zackpumpkinhead8882
13 күн бұрын
The fact the horse is named "Laura" makes this feel even more like Twin Peaks
@JACMAN02
12 жыл бұрын
"lobster brutally ripped apart"
@cmyanmar13
12 жыл бұрын
The ticker headlines are just brilliant.
@APOCRYPHAL
12 жыл бұрын
The subtext for this one are a riot!!
@CrunchyDaddy
12 жыл бұрын
Friendship is magic
@breakfreak3181
8 ай бұрын
"...and the miracles don't stop there either Don." "The healing....has begun." Too much 😂😂😂😂!
@togepreee
12 жыл бұрын
wow that stay tuned story made me laugh out loud haha
@saclegend
12 жыл бұрын
This is the best one in a while
@sunnydale22
12 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness I love the ONION. Really awesome video! XD
@u2soadfan
12 жыл бұрын
I have to watch these twice. Once for the video, once for the ticker.
@hapadyamatt3731
3 жыл бұрын
I just saw the female anchor in an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia! She’s great!
@justseffstuff3308
4 жыл бұрын
“And a little later, how to get out of debt by masturbating on a stage!” People with an exhibitionism kink and student loans: WHERE’S THE LINK OP WHERE’S THE GODDAMN LINK
@1486230
Жыл бұрын
Exactly, that’s the real story here. With rising interest rates my parents are in a lot of debt. Dad masturbates all the time (I made the mistake of opening his browser). Anyway, I’m forwarding him this video and even suggesting he get mom to try as well. They could do a beautiful maturbatory duet at their church. I’ve never felt so positive about their future. Thanks Onion!
@KieranHunter
3 жыл бұрын
You have to read the little news bar. Shit is hilarious. "Lobster ripped apart" 😂
@Snortemup
12 жыл бұрын
At 30 inches "Kevin" is the same height as his namesake lmao awesome.
@man-who-sold-the-world
3 жыл бұрын
The grieving actor is brilliant.
@rareaesthetics
7 ай бұрын
At this point The Onion has less fake news than most news networks
@ec1385
4 жыл бұрын
Dan seems kind of ungrateful...what a jerk.
@MrMojo23100
7 ай бұрын
This one gives me hope for my own service animal rehabilitation charity. In hopes to comfort those battling alcoholism I have started the world's first Rhinoceros service animal program, I am calling it "Rhino's for Winos."
@Marqan
7 ай бұрын
"how to get out of debt by masturbating on a stage" Once again, Onion with the completely accurate prediction.. their time machine space station wasn't a joke!
@jamiethornton6101
10 жыл бұрын
ann coulter in surgery to have elbows removed from her face. LMAO
@yoshikartegg
12 жыл бұрын
Friendship is magic!
@moistnugget4147
3 жыл бұрын
We all need horses living in our apartments
@rmr355
12 жыл бұрын
i love onions but they always make me cry...
@15thCrypt
12 жыл бұрын
Today now never stops being funny as hell
@JDzombaK
12 жыл бұрын
...The scrolling headlines at the bottom are my favorite.
@AnimeMemesz
12 жыл бұрын
Haha I would love to be in the room where they come up with these skits
@OnEwHoRiDesLinEs
4 жыл бұрын
Definitely one of their more evil episodes
@familiescharf4207
9 ай бұрын
Why?
@cobalt2257
5 жыл бұрын
0:10 top ten foreshadowing moments in anime
@SuperOriginal_Name
4 жыл бұрын
Don will love his family 🥰
@MrNikruzas
11 жыл бұрын
"Ann Coulter in surgery to have elbows removed from her face."
@mrleedra
4 жыл бұрын
"Pat Robertson attributes pleasant weather to heterosexuals."
@zezizzebezt
12 жыл бұрын
Finally! First good Onion video in ages!
@sdzyde7482
Жыл бұрын
These horses, your horses wife and horse children are your life now. You need to accept that. The healing has begun.
@Jerry-yd8pj
10 ай бұрын
By the way. Did you hear he owns a Prius?
@patrickbasedman8532
4 жыл бұрын
this is probably the most normal segment i’ve seen of The Onion
@Grysham
12 жыл бұрын
Man peddling easy answers quickly elevated to position of influence
@thereisnosanctuary6184
3 жыл бұрын
And the miracles don't stop there, Don!
@gv2807
Жыл бұрын
This video really makes me want a miniture horse
@lileeper
12 жыл бұрын
The "news" at the bottom is hilarious
@IrishknifeRD
12 жыл бұрын
cant wait to see whose on that list
@scottyraw13
12 жыл бұрын
hahahaha the last line got me so good
@rockets4kids
7 ай бұрын
darn, now I'm never going to get out of debt.
@flat-earther
7 ай бұрын
hi rockets4kids, have you become a flat earther yet?
@rockets4kids
7 ай бұрын
@@flat-earther Please tell me more about your wonderful religion!
@flat-earther
7 ай бұрын
@@rockets4kids many people have measured frozen lakes for curvature and found none which is impossible if the earth is a globe. it's empirical evidence and there's no belief required unlike the religious and theoretical globe model
@apr2031
6 ай бұрын
@@flat-eartherhave you taken into account the size of the earth compared to the size of the lake measured?
@flat-earther
6 ай бұрын
@@apr2031 see the experiment by groutaone, of course
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