Wow. A great video. It has made me connect - my "post natal depression" was actually my undiagnosed autistic meltdowns. Rocking on the floor, hurting myself, crying, screaming at my children because I can't handle the noise they make... It is embarassing. It can make you think you are a terrible person and a terrible mother. No one around you understands
@inlonging
3 жыл бұрын
What are your coping methods for the loud children and other overwhelm in the postpartum stage of life?
@rebeccawoodcock7039
Жыл бұрын
OMG your children will have so much trauma from you…..
@robalexanderhealth7763
3 жыл бұрын
My meltdowns have become constant. When I was younger I would drink and smoke. I have been sober for 13 years. I spent many of those years alone where I could dive into special interests, control my environment and have lots of sleep and quiet time. It all worked so well and my margin built up so high that I fucked up and got in a relationship with a woman who has a child. I have tried to teach her about my needs snd issues but it is no use. If I try to take time for myself she uses abandonment etc to keep me from stepping away from a melt down. I do not know if people like me can be in relationship with a neuro typical. Things don’t look good. At this point I’m just trying to stay sober and not ruin the stable life I have built. Thanks for the video. I’m lost all my friends snd listening to others on KZitem makes me feel less alone.
@marlaadamson1633
2 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry to hear that your partner doesn't support you. These online interactions are very helpful to me also. My partner does his best to understand but still feel incredibly misunderstood.
@arasharfa
4 жыл бұрын
Looking at my problems with an autism perspective has helped me accept my weaknesses.
@rfishrfish4242
3 жыл бұрын
me too!!!
@susanmooney3415
3 жыл бұрын
This is so helpful to hear. I'm new to the autism community myself and so hearing videos like these makes me feel so much more understood.
@sarageorge8816
2 жыл бұрын
Yes like a balloon,a balloon can hold so much air. I am Autistic and I am so thankful for your videos,you are helping me very much,there's no one else to help me with autism,I found out in 2019 or 2020..2 or 3 years ago that I have autism at 37 years old I think I was,explains alot,and I've been lost until I found you on KZitem,your the one helping me right now,I've been pretty lost my whole life knowing that I'm different but not knowing why and all that comes with that,and I thank you for making videos talking about what you do,what helps you,explaining what is what,you are wonderful,I love you,thank you. And my oldest son has autism,his is more severe,and you also help me help him also,and my youngest son has adhd with autistic traits if that makes since,so you help us all.
@HarrietFitzgerald580
5 жыл бұрын
Yes fixating and amplifying things! I had really bad meltdowns as a kid. (I suspect being on the spectrum.) they were also called tantrums. Of course people, myself included, thought I'd outgrow them. Obviously not, it is hard and shameful. I still don't know what I have, officially, and so it makes things tricky. Not quite sure how to manage things anymore.
@laoebpsy
Жыл бұрын
I really appreciate your honesty. I am sure it helps people. As a psychologist who worked with autistic young children and some teenagers on the spectrum, I really find it helpful and courageous.
@SusanneD1806
3 жыл бұрын
I know this is an older video, but thank you for making this and for sharing your story. It makes me feel like I'm not the only one who has this problem. I've had a lot of these kind of meltdowns growing up. And as you say, it's layers upon layers and not just one thing that causes the meltdowns. Since I moved out to live on my own (at 22) I haven't had a lot of these meltdowns, but still get them occasionally. I still feel kind of guilty towards my mom who always had/has to put up with me... I'm not diagnosed (yet) with autism, but I can recognize a lot of symptoms. I am diagnosed with ADD.
@lilykatmoon4508
3 жыл бұрын
I feel the same about my diagnosis making me feel better to be able to put a name to my violent outbursts too and learn what precipitates these episodes and help myself.
@beeurd
4 жыл бұрын
I'm currently waiting for a referral, but I've only recently understood what a meltdown is. Having researched into them I can definitely see that previous times where I've "snapped" were likely meltdowns. I've never understood why this happens, because I am in general a very calm and patient person, but when this happens it's like I've suddenly got a short fuse. It's like there's a gradual building up of different things that eventually cause an uncontrolled outburst. I'm usually okay again a few minutes later but it's much more preferable that I can get away from everything for a bit.
@simonedutch1264
9 ай бұрын
Warmest thank you xx
@shaunhall20
3 жыл бұрын
My meltdowns scare me, I self harm too often punching myself and walls headbutting things. I turn into an animal that I feel I watch in third person. I always thought it was trauma and anxiety but since being referred and researching hfa it's been an overwhelming experience that has lept me forward in some areas and backwards in others. I suppose I always thought all I needed was anger management and I would be okay in the end. Now I have to manage this forever and sometimes I feel its just not worth it. I keep hurting everyone around me and myself. It feels like pain is life. If I don't feel pain I'm not alive?
@reedlibros9636
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Ella. You're courageous and compassionate for sharing your Meltdown experience and coping Strategies.😎 I am an Aspie male in my late fifties and it was only barely three years ago that I became aware of my unique neurological orientation somewhere around the Aspie area. Previously throughout my life I would have the occasional meltdown and then sometimes if my stress and low self esteem were prevalent during a certain season ,then more frequent meltdowns would occur. Since I'm a more typical Aspie male who finds himself living alone , I have less family stress in my life so I can easily cocoon from stress and sensory overload. I used to self medicate with alcohol so I would be argumentative with girlfriends and my family when visiting sometimes. I was all mixed up with chronic alcohol use and no information about meltdown cycles. Way Before I completely quit drinking I took up meditation and exercise regularly and it definitely helped to develop wisdom and energy balance but the missing piece to the puzzle was understanding my own neurological tendencies of HFA masking, occasional meltdowns, depression because of repeated miscommunications in relationships, self medicating with alcohol not working but making things worse, sensory overload, hyperfocusing, Literal thinking,inability to find women for good long term companionship(I find it difficult to ask a woman out because I can't be certain what woman would be interested and single),little bit of OCD,crippling fear of uncertain outcomes. Etc. I gave up alcohol five years before knowing I was Aspie but I had practiced meditation for fifteen years inconsistently before a Behavioral professional friend suggested I was Aspie. I mask around coworkers and friends so if a woman would be interested she might not be overtly literal in expressing her interest and so use nuance and flirtation more passively which is hard for me to sort out with confidence that she is truly interested. I really really fear being shot down because I make a lame overture or ask to go for a coffee. I don't trust myself to know who might be receptive to meeting for socialising and possible future date. With these difficulties in mind the prospects of finding long term companionship at my age are very slight. But I Digress. .. .. I haven't drank any alcohol for seven years. I feel regretful about my past behavior in meltdowns but I I feel like I can handle them with no emotional harm now .I feel like I can be a good supportive companion for a future hypothetical woman who could work with me with compassionate understanding of my particular Aspiness. I'm not waiting to be happy however and I have Joy and Gratitude toward God and other people. You're a Kind sweet natured Woman Ella and God bless you and your Family🤓
@jamdeeder
2 жыл бұрын
I have come to think of my "meltdowns" as a kind of "seizure" and am trying to learn how treat myself kindly after..not always easy. Thank you for sharing I similarly have adapted meditation and gentle yoga for daily care.
@diegogaliano2200
5 жыл бұрын
It happende to me =( lost control and smashed things. I thought I was crazy, and that I was the worst person ever. I managed to tune them down, with difficulty, but as I grew up (after my 28th birthday, maybe) I never smashed anything. When I found out what it really was, I felt releaved. I felt Like I could forgive myself for my meltdowns. And It helped a lot with the next ones. Now I can identify them an do what I need to do to calm myselfdown.
@josephmartin1540
3 жыл бұрын
Very good! I don't have the anger I used to, but have been having a very hard time from sensory overload. It really feels similar and as debilitating. Just now starting to compare the two and thinking the same things may me going on in the old head! Also, How in the world have you learned to look at the camera so very well? You look very natural at it!
@lesleystacey6841
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your video. The suggestions that you made really help
@lizdyson3627
4 жыл бұрын
Ella you are terrific. I'm NT and have friends on each end of the spectrum. I've just found your channel. It's great.
@gauntlettolife833
4 жыл бұрын
Liz, If only there were more NTs who accept people on the spectrum whatever their presentation. We are not Aliens just very very misunderstood.
@lizdyson3627
4 жыл бұрын
I don't want to sound in anyway judgemental. I just think it's amazing that you can help your children deal with situations that you find difficult with yourself. Most autistic meltdowns I've seen have been people who can't communicate or reason at all during a meltdown. The only example I can think of is a busy shopping centre. How do you keep your children safe and calm if you need to get out of a situation fast yourself?
@wildflowersar3595
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. Your hair is really lovely here. These coping strategies are helpful. I enjoy hearing how you as a family try to prevent them and hold space respectfully for each other. It is important and i am glad you no longer feel embrassed to share this online.
@rozalinenelhams8307
2 жыл бұрын
When i got dianosed with Autism i was told basic things. i wasnt even told about meltdowns or burnouts. only just recently found out about them on youtube.
@atomnous
3 жыл бұрын
I'm not diagnosed with autism, but I perhaps am. What I found is to change my internal speech to commanding thoughts that are actually actionable. For example, it can be as simple as "Calm down" or "Stop thinking" or "Just observe the emotions". This is different with saying, "Should I stop thinking?" "I think I have to calm down." That commanding thoughts somehow command my body to actually do what it says. Not all the time, but I'm gonna stick with it for now. NB: Also, reminding myself I'm not alone kinda feels calming. Imagining I'm interconnected with people instead of just coping with this alone, helps me to be more expressive with my emotions rather than building them up into anxiety. Might not work for you, these are just some of my personal DIY band-aids.
@cstartworks
Жыл бұрын
Brilliant advice ..
@EPK12549
2 жыл бұрын
I agree with Susan. The information in these videos has helped me greatly in dealing with myself and family.
@kimberlysanchez5321
2 жыл бұрын
I admire your management of all it Purple! Since I found your channel I am learning so much from you💜thank you for your work !
@victoriaopenshaw9157
4 жыл бұрын
This series of videos is proving so useful. Began by needing to help two of my daughters. Think it’s helping me to understand me also? Thanks for your courageous honesty.
@tudoracid1812
6 жыл бұрын
This is a fantastic video Ella and much needed/very timely. I think that there is a lot of shame that autistic people experience around meltdowns and this video is a great help in pushing past that.
@aahmad1422
2 жыл бұрын
Really really helpful 🤝✌️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙌🙌🙌❤️🌸👍
@thingsido3174
3 жыл бұрын
You’re not sharing to much information. You’ve helped Kate and I with our relationship more than we can tell. We would love to meet you and your family. She is very similar to you and I must be much like Mr Purple as I received the most amazing compliment that I must be like him recently by Kate. Thank you for your show.
@pinkerhero
2 жыл бұрын
SO helpful and clear and grounded, thank you so much and for summarizing at the end~!!
@emilianokelm1852
3 жыл бұрын
Such a great video. You are so expressive!
@mikemarron3333
3 жыл бұрын
It's the autistic eyes
@Lauren-us7ju
3 жыл бұрын
I am very happy to have found your channel. I suspect I am on the spectrum. I've discussed it with my therapist and she agrees it is likely I have aspergers. I've always suffered with melt downs and thought I was just angry or overly emotional. I feel like now I have so much more insight into why I have these melt downs which I hope will help me communicate and manage them better. Thanks for being so informative!
@mikiethespike
2 жыл бұрын
I like the way you look at it. Im asd too 😁😁
@colleenmcbride3656
Жыл бұрын
I went to the mental hospital 23 times from the age of 11 to 18. Each trip was after a "blind rage" set off by being neglected and abused by my adoptive mother and sisters. After school, I would go home and almost weekly stopped as soon as I closed the door. They would surround me and berate me for something that I did or didn't do until I started crying and then they would start mocking my crying , screaming and wailing "Waaaahhhh! I'm Colleen! I'm a big fat baby!!! Waaaahhhh!" Which would make me melt down. I would start by running away from them to my room, and there was a shelving unit I'm the path. They would run after me so one time I grabbed the shelf and brought it down behind me to keep them from running after me. I would run to my room and the next thing I know I'm at the ER with cuts on my arm surrounded by my (fake) crying family getting ready to be transported to the hospital for a week stay.
@karencorcoran5875
3 жыл бұрын
Was diagnosed as bipolar cuz of meltdons...when l look at last I Sixty years feel like I'm misdiagnosed.
@mazingworldofmegan8906
4 жыл бұрын
Omg!!! Yes! This is exactly me.
@yoda0017
3 жыл бұрын
Me and my wife have suspected for some time that she may be on the spectrum so this is very helpful. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
@floinksy
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, the best explanation I have come across.
@molliewhite7853
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video, it was really helpful!
@agentargent5127
4 жыл бұрын
This video is priceless 💛 One thing, I definitely need to find a safe place during a meltdown but does anyone have the issue of becoming 'stuck' in the safe place? I have to be real careful because I have been stuck in public toilets and under beds etc for long periods of time and sometimes need help getting out. I think it is to do with not having a distraction to break the meltdown cycling around continually in my body and mind. It can be a fine line to not make things worse. Does this happen to anyone else?
@pisscvre69
4 жыл бұрын
I stay in bed for days sometimes it’s my safest space
@mothermovementa
6 жыл бұрын
YOU ARE SO BRAVE
@hazelpottage8898
3 жыл бұрын
It was definitely good to know.
@lIvlongbalive
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. You are very inspiring :)
@LoftBallerina
4 жыл бұрын
Ella, you look so pretty and glowing in this video!
@gaiaswildchildtarot
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video ❤
@QlueDuPlessis
3 жыл бұрын
Three meltdowns in a week would be a seriously bad year for me. I've had about three major meltdowns in the last thirty years. I learnt, of necessity, that simply managing my stress helped tremendously. Recently though, life got real and ive had to resort to Amytriptiline to help manage stress. (I work in a Prison. Noise and obnoxious people are my bread 'n butter)
@mothermovementa
6 жыл бұрын
I love you so much.
@mariebo7491
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this! One of the things that cause meltdowns for me is too much chaotic noise. I have 3 small children so this is unavoidable. I am considering noise cancelling headphones or ear phones. Was wondering if you or anyone here have ones that work great for you and would recommend? Thank you! 😊
@PurpleElla
6 жыл бұрын
Griselle Zapata hi, thanks for your comment. I tried noise cancelling ear phones and found them too bulky. So now I use Flare earplugs, which work brilliantly! So would definitely recommend them.
@HarrietFitzgerald580
5 жыл бұрын
Been thinking of getting headphones too.
@victoriaopenshaw9157
4 жыл бұрын
The noise cancelling ear plugs works effectively for my daughters.
@gauntlettolife833
4 жыл бұрын
@Wendy Gardner Sooo get this ! I suffer from claustrophobia & find it has in some cases relation to sensory overwhelm noise wise. It's very much impossible to explain to children though & there have been times where they are affected by them. Any advice from others as to what to say to make things less awful for us & our Family? It's really hard if you live with someone who just doesn't get it. Very isolating & afterwards dealing with the guilt & feeling of shame. Support is key really which is why I am grateful for the community we have here on youtube because it reminds me I am not alone even though it feels like it at the time. Unfortunately I can't wear earplugs or headphones as I hate the feeling of them. I do enjoy the sound of a fan or RC calming... All the best in this difficult time Wendy & other's who struggle, Thank you Purple Ella for being so honest & no there's no such thing as "TMI" with other ASC people, we have your back ; D
@pisscvre69
4 жыл бұрын
I used to have meltdowns so often growing up it was a daily thing pretty m have for years I got into lots of fights and got suspended so many times in school cuz no ones listened to me when I was being hurt so then I got really defensive and so when I had meltdowns I’d hurt others cuz I thought there was no other way to be safe other than to scare others off, And now when I have meltdowns I’m really bad at coping it’s not so outward but it usually results in some form of self destructive behavior and I feel so much shame for being this way it’s so hard to accept myself especially when my family doesn’t really and I’m stuck living with them and I’m stuck here cuz my issues in the first place I can’t take care of myself (I don’t just have autism) which makes me feel more broken and useless and it’s just horrible lately and worst of all it’s lonely I do so much better with friends around but they haven’t been much
@pisscvre69
4 жыл бұрын
Almost right after posting this my phone ran out of charge right as I was about to watch something to calm me down and also earlier I found out something that suggests one of my friends might have a several medical issue and I already have other friends who are sick and a couple who died a few years ago and I just hate this feeling and I can’t get my meds rn and it’s just all bad lately
@yanamarte4542
4 жыл бұрын
@@pisscvre69 AF meditate a bit Urgent 'till do you good Bless Yx
@pisscvre69
4 жыл бұрын
💖
@maddisonb4258
Жыл бұрын
Do meltdowns always have to have anger and aggression involved? I just cry when I get too stressed and dragged down.
@rfishrfish4242
3 жыл бұрын
What I do is try to help or prevent my meltdowns by using this technique, for example I am working and Nuro typical people are bullying me at work or or if I'm in any Stressful situations, I breathe in and breathe out than I focus, I look at what I'm doing or want to doo wen I'm trying to transitioning, to help me to do so by doing this in the moment it helps me so much, by doing this in the moment- I try to clear my mind and focus on what I'm doing, I repeat if needed I breathe in, breathe out and the truth of the situation sets me fee, from the stressful situation, in that moment, I say to my myself this people bugging me, are just ignorant this helps me to ignore them and sets me free, by doing this technique in Stressful situations whatever it my be, this really helps me a lot, hopefully this helps you too to be Nurowonderful
@stephaniewright4693
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, I have been trying to deal with meltdowns and just called round to see if anyone would listen but nobody understood that I didn't need fixing or a solution to my problem just a positive distraction. My meltdowns to me feel ridiculous, do I put the heating on or is it too early, are the previous clothes fully dry yet, omg its dark outside and I haven't done this or that yet, I need to cook but I'm tired etc. I was diagnosed with autism last month and I too am a little more forgiving. That whole video was just what I needed, thank you x
@maisieliberty1319
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for making this video. I really liked it. This was a great, helpful video. :) 💜
@georgiarous1019
4 жыл бұрын
I've got a meltdown brewing. I've felt it building over the past few hours..... I know that it will take the smallest thing happening that will cause it to happen. I really need to find coping mechanisms xx
@jojomama09
5 жыл бұрын
I hit myself or bang my head against the wall....😒
@sierraG333
5 жыл бұрын
Crystal Petterson Me too! Kind of feels good at the time but afterwards not so much. Wishing you happiness and less meltdowns.
@thephilosopher5799
4 жыл бұрын
I rock back and forth and cry but my cousin does what you do. Wish the best for you.
@VelvetBear
4 жыл бұрын
same
@user-vf2pg4ve4n
4 жыл бұрын
Crawling in to a ball and cry... you just had to go there did'nt you
@spanixtanspanixtan8757
5 жыл бұрын
Hi. It´s already November, but I hope that my translation into Spanish still helps some people. I just chose this one by chance, without minding the date. I have been learning and translating things on Asperger, Autism, the theory of mind, etc. this month. Time to have a break on the subject. I like the video and find it useful.
@m.koheil5683
4 жыл бұрын
Very useful information, thank you. How to deal with my 5 years old son in your opinion who would go into meltdowns if I do not do what he wants..for example going up and down the stairs for long times or not going into the shop we want to buy things from and start playing with the electric doors of another shop?
@maeberry
4 жыл бұрын
I get very reclusive. I’ll zone out. And then I make soft quiet requests to be left alone. And if the triggers persists I’ll eventually start feeling panicy and faint, which leads to Me closing my eyes cover my ears and scream at the top of my lungs. It’s traumatizing honestly.
@JamieMitchellDesign
2 жыл бұрын
Does anyone pace up and down, going over and over things like 500 times a day during a melting or overwhelming state?
@spudraider737
4 жыл бұрын
when i have a meltdown i start repeating the trigger work over and over again and then hit my head and pull my hair then start crying. it can last from 30 minutes -1 hour then i will sleep and not be able to do anything for a couple of days. just going through being diagnosed. but everyone thinks im autistic from my family to 2 doctors i have seen.
@krugerfuchs
3 жыл бұрын
Could you make a video about if people do something the wrong way and they won't change things and how to improve please thanks
@thephilosopher5799
4 жыл бұрын
I have alot of meltdowns in school because of constant stress and anxiety. I cant go to the bathroom because my school wants me to go to the guidance counselor. Ir makes the meltdown worse.
@Catlily5
3 жыл бұрын
I feel for you, going to the bathroom when I was upset helped get me through school.
@spanixtanspanixtan8757
5 жыл бұрын
Well, after translating this video for Spanish speakers and waiting for the text to be 'approved' there´s finally no reference to that ''contribution''. We are used to be underrated or totally ignored in our business. But at least we get paid. But this is a free help, on my own initiative; as some other videos dedicated to autism, asperger and research in my channel. If you don´t receive a copyright warning for translating this kind of content you are ignored. And it´s a bad thing to be just ignored, right? Especially when you try to help others. I´m not talking about ungratefulness, but something worst: the fact of not knowing if I´m just wasting time and effort trying to help with something that, and after, all nobody seems to need.
@PurpleElla
5 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry you feel this way, I appreciate the translation very much. As far as I know I approved it very quickly, so didn't think you had to wait? I didn't realise I needed to do something to acknowledge it, or even how to do it. Can you let me know so I don't make this mistake in future. Also please keep in mind that all the videos I make I make for free, in addition to parenting my children, doing my work as an autism trainer, and dealing with my own life as an autistic disabled woman.
@spanixtanspanixtan8757
5 жыл бұрын
It´s not your fault at all: I already guessed that you had approved it. It is not you who has to revise the texts and publish them. The complaint was not addressed to you, but to somebody unknown at the youtube system. Most of my older contributions are still waiting to be published after months waiting in some unpredictable queue: but youtube is in no rush to have them checked, because they are for free. So, you haven't made any mistake at all and don't need to apologize. I totally understand your situation. Cheers.
@amymurray2857
6 жыл бұрын
Hi Ella! Love this video! Some of my family and friends guilt trip me post meltdown. How can I get them to stop???
@PurpleElla
6 жыл бұрын
Amy Thorley I’m sorry that your family and friends are not understanding. I would start by educating them about autism, and specifically meltdowns, perhaps they might watch my videos about them? And explaining why they happen for you and what they can do to minimise damage/disruption. Hopefully if they see improvements from the way they handle them they might get it a bit more?
@charliebaker966
6 жыл бұрын
thank you for this video my problemis im not allowed to beloud in the quiet room and i dont always get to the quiet room at college before meltdown so this one is a hard one .how do your kids tell teachers and teaching assistants ?
@PurpleElla
6 жыл бұрын
My children don't tend to meltdown in school, but if they were likely too I would expect them to be supported by being offered strategies that help them reduce anxiety and likelihood of meltdown in the first instance, and then if that doesn't work a safe space to meltdown.
@NidusFormicarum
4 жыл бұрын
But how on earth did you find an understanding partner? My current partner doesn't understand that my being tense and quiet is a meltdown/shutdown. No matter what I try she still thinks I am just being a jerk or that I am mad at her and she gets angry (despite the fact the she too has an Asperger diagnosis). Also, she doesn't understand that if you have anxiety and your mind is a really dark, destructive/desperate mode, you can't just leave that pacage at home while being with her. It doesn't work like that. You can't force yourself to feel good to make someone else happy.
@yanamarte4542
4 жыл бұрын
Hi NF (the Latin I'll overlook if that's ok). I am a trained therapist, have years and years of therapy on myself, I avidly read all there is to read and see all there is to see about Autism PDA modality, I'm an empath and "feel" what my beloved man "feels" - often - ... Psychiatry / Psychology / Psychoanalysis / Socialpsychology are my passions and I devour books on all aspects relating to how the psyche works and how the social psyche works and how the subconscious processes work and how the collective subconscious flows and how the field behaves etcetera etcetera So hardly anyone more devoted and informed .... if I may exaggerate ..... ... and I still get into a horrific downspiral of misery when my beloved autistic man gets stressed and meltdowny and shutdowny and dark and hurls me far away from him 'cause he cannot cope. I get insecure, I get sore, I get furious, I get offended, I get nasty and defensive, I get sad, I feel abandoned .... even when I know exactly what's happening to him as an autistic person under severe stress and anxiety. But it's an emotional and mental tornado for me and it's powerful and because I am an empath I just absorb all his darkness and feel it, know it, experience it. It's scary, infernal and I falter. My mirror neurones just all fire off reflecting his state. Not nice. Purple Ella is a veteran and listening to her I realise: it's a question of strategy, preparing scenarios in advance, nuanced and adjusted to the real needs of who's the meltdowny person to be supported, consensuate every phase and step with them, like Purple Ella and her family / friends do. Then, when it happens, one just deploys the protocol. It's similar to paramedics' protocols, excuse the example but I think it will be illustrative, when an accident happens paramedics don't go about saying "You did this on purpose, you smashed your skull and broke your legs in an evil way so I had to come out in the rain and hail, so I missed my dinner ... You have me frightened, you wicked and evil person" .... no .... paramedics just arrive at the scene and deploy a protocol, two protocols, or three .... depending on the nature of the injuries etcetera. One has to become a professional lover-of-a-beloved-autistic-person, know what to do when meltdowns, shutdowns, long times alone, acute needs for quiet calm, hypersensitivity, and all the rest happen. With my adored autistic gentleman I am learning more about myself and my own responsibilities and my weaknesses and my unsuspected strengths and deepening self-knowledge to a degree I could never ever learn not in one thousand Psychology / Psychiatry faculties. Believe me. After each infernal tanatical sulphuric beastly crisis, after a week separation, after a week mutual productive silence, after calm and quiet returns .... we, his love for me, and my love for him, re-emerge, like Phoenix Birds from the Ashes. It's not easy. May you be understood and be loved for exactly what you are, NF (the Latin I omitt as I say). Bless your girlfriend, she needs to research deeply into the autistic ways. And Purple Ella, you are such a wonderful guide into this world, so lucid and kind and sharp and fun. You help me a lot with my PDA man. Thanks to all of you. It can be done.
@oliviafox1629
4 жыл бұрын
I think I used to have a lot of meltdowns by visual stumuli when I was young, but now I don't. Now I have meltdowns over misunderstandings with people mostly, and I get a lot of social anxiety. Would you say that it is a symptom of being autistic?
@oliviafox1629
4 жыл бұрын
I just had a meltdown with my parents, when my mom was telling me to get over my anxiety. I would cry and argue with her, telling her that she doesn't understand my emotions. After I had a short "shutdown". But I never get physical, or hit myself like some other autistic people.
@Flareontoast
6 жыл бұрын
Hey Ella! You have no idea how much I needed this video. I have had two (or three? Time is weird atm) meltdowns this week after going a month or so without any. One was really frustratingly long, I was anxious about a doctor's appointment (even though it was just a check-up with my psychiatrist) and had cramps and somehow ended up curled up on my bed trying to scream instead of hitting myself. Ended up hitting myself anyway. A second one was because I went to choir by bus but I got so easily overstimulated that I had to hide in the bathroom to calm down and *thankfully* I had my favourite chewigem nacklace with me, which helped. Overall, the entire week I had no energy to begin with, so overwhelming things became like 9 times more overwhelming. I found that phoning with my girlfriend helps a lot. She makes me laugh often so that helps. Have a lovely weekend and again, thanks for talking about this!
@PurpleElla
6 жыл бұрын
fine piece of aspegers thank you for your comment, it’s been a tough week here also meltdown wise and it takes me a while to feel recovered after a tough week, hope you’re feeling better.
@Flareontoast
6 жыл бұрын
feeling much better, thank you. Hope you're recovering quickly too!
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