*McCarthy* be like *Why didn’t the people I betray help me when the people I trusted betrayed me ?*
@VladimirPutin-p3t
11 ай бұрын
Or... Why didn't the Democrats save me after I went on all the Sunday news shown and talked sh!t on them??
@sprybug
11 ай бұрын
Oh no, the leopards that eat faces party ate my face! Who could have seen it?!
@Knight-Bishop
11 ай бұрын
"All right all right, which Democrat took a shit in the pants I'm currently wearing?!"
@OlEgSaS32
11 ай бұрын
Because McCarthy wont learn his lesson otherwise 🤣
@ekdaufin1485
11 ай бұрын
😂
@justadad6677
11 ай бұрын
Life is better when Colbert is on air.
@openmike4559
11 ай бұрын
Then your life is pretty miserable, but that’s to be expected.
@WaterborneCamper
11 ай бұрын
@@openmike4559 says the guy spending his free time crying in the comment section of a show he doesn't like 🤣🤣
@Antony..24
11 ай бұрын
You must have a sad life
@openmike4559
11 ай бұрын
@@M.Linoge if you need Colbert to make your day better, yes, you have a miserable life.
@philrussellg6183
11 ай бұрын
I have always wondered how some of these politicians are able to look their children in the eyes.
@wendyprince8311
11 ай бұрын
House rule 26 prohibits anyone who has been indicted from being speaker.
@RabblesTheBinx
11 ай бұрын
You actually expect Republicans to follow a rule they established, in the first place? 😂😂😂
@lenawagenfuehr53
11 ай бұрын
Oh, what,like the Biden rule?
@p.j.m.d.1948
11 ай бұрын
Oh I’m sure they’d make an exception for their orange overlord. I just don’t see how he’d have the time to do the job with all of his upcoming court dates. Hell, nothing will get done… wait…
@RabblesTheBinx
11 ай бұрын
@@lenawagenfuehr53 swing and a miss, Rule 26 was created by the Trump-led GOP.
@petermiller114
11 ай бұрын
Republicans: Rules? Rules!? We don't need no steenking rules!
@hmdwgf
11 ай бұрын
"The lobbyists and special interests who own our leadership" he's actually completely right about that- the only issue being that he is one of those politicians they own (give money to). He has said otherwise- but Gaetz is such a dishonest and slimy character that there is no way he isn't lying.
@KG-xs3ih
11 ай бұрын
OR even the lobbyists think he is too slimy to be trusted to do what they want, so they refuse to give him money... therefore, he's just jealous and wants to burn the place down 😂
@dgrant7291
11 ай бұрын
Republicans passed the Citizens United that took away all restraints on lobbyist money...totally..then repubs voted they no longer would report who or how much their donations are...yea..so they turned congress into an auction house. That congresswoman showing her vote and soliciting money on line for doing it is pretty close to putting her vote for bid/auction on ebay! Classy group republicans'.......wow!
@karinpewe3840
11 ай бұрын
I´m sure he gets payed by Putin.
@DiakosDelvin
11 ай бұрын
As many have said before "every accusation is a confession".
@8arrows
11 ай бұрын
Looked it up recently. The highest paying lobbyist at the Monet is the Real Estate Association. When Obama was in office it was Insurance and pharmaceutical companies. Hence the mandate he set that everyone have health insurance.
@ImahSillyGirl
11 ай бұрын
SO GOOD to have you ALL back! 👍🏼♥️👏🏻
@SN-sz7kw
11 ай бұрын
At this point I like knowing Uncle Joe has a second line of defense. Perhaps Commander is on to something. Trust the dog.
@Knight-Bishop
11 ай бұрын
He can smell coup-scented deleted texts years after the phones have been destroyed.
@SetsuneW
11 ай бұрын
*McCarthy craps his pants, looks down in mock surprise* "Why would Democrats do this?"
@gamepapa1211
11 ай бұрын
McCarthy: *shoots a man sitting on a couch* "Why have the Democrats committed such a senseless act of violence?"
@rachelgarber1423
11 ай бұрын
🤣😂
@chenzen1578
11 ай бұрын
... and it Gaetz who put laxatives in his coffee
@tdearsan
11 ай бұрын
excellent
@brandonwei2430
11 ай бұрын
@chenzen1578 and Gaetz TOLD him that he did it, and McCarthy still drank it and said "bring it."
@megduncan3562
11 ай бұрын
German Sheppards are really a one-family dog. They are not about to let somebody near their humans that they don't know or like. Poor Commander, he's just trying to do his job and the guys who also have that job are getting in his way!
@beeb826
11 ай бұрын
They are great dogs, but many have issues with reactivity to some degree. Some are over enthusiastic and not aggressive but could make other dogs uncomfortable, others are anxiety driven and where concerns lie. I have one of each and both are making great improvements after they started classes for reactive dogs. they needed to learn self soothing methods the class gives an opportunity to teach to encourage. Shepherds and their mixes are the most common breed in attendance to this class. One of mine is a german shepherd mix. They need a lot of mental and physical stimulation which commander probably is not getting. It makes working with them on these issues easier. I have run into a lot of German shepherds like this lately.
@professorbutters
11 ай бұрын
@@beeb826 The White House is probably not the greatest place for them. I know Joe Biden absolutely loves German Shepherds, but maybe he should learn to love a Golden Retriever or a Lab for a while. It is too bad, though. I'd be very upset if my cats kept being taken away. No reports on Willow shredding stuff or peeing on antiques so far.
@aerinellis1133
11 ай бұрын
I missed the late show so much! Thank you writers! Thanks to everyone who stayed strong and came back stronger!
@randyragsdale23
11 ай бұрын
Matt Gaetz said yesterday that he's the only Republican in Congress that doesn't take money from lobbyists. As far as I'm concerned, he's lying.
@denillefleming2942
11 ай бұрын
He was tweeting for money during the vote. Of course he's lying.
@stanbyme7874
11 ай бұрын
His rich daddy pays to erase his DUI, pay off teen girls…
@flurglhinge3051
11 ай бұрын
I'm not sure "even lobbyists don't want anything to do with me" is the flex he thinks it is
@trickmuffinful
11 ай бұрын
@denillefleming2942 he was tweeting for money because he relies on small donors (ordinary people) for his fundraising and not PAC money, large donor money, lobbyist money. You can hate the guy. I don't really care, but he isn't bought and paid for like everybody else in Congress.
@AskMia411
11 ай бұрын
@@flurglhinge3051🤣🤣🤣 “We’re not gonna bribe this one, he’ll get us caught because he’s an idiot who can’t keep his mouth shut!!!”
@deviritter5232
11 ай бұрын
He blamed the Democrats for trying to shut down the government on Sunday’s talk shows and thought they’d defend him Monday. 🤨
@kirara2516
11 ай бұрын
"Slather yourself with honey and let the fire ants have at you." What a beautifully poetic way to describe something so brutal and yet so deserving. Massive respect.
@pipermccool
11 ай бұрын
That’s one image of him I can live - *Nope.* Not even that one.
@derekstein6193
11 ай бұрын
@@pipermccoolWell, you tried your best, and that is what counts.
@charlieb1613
11 ай бұрын
I’d pay to see that! Maybe we could put it up on Monday Night Raw! “Night of the creepy flesh!” See flesh stripped to the bones. The old bag of bones would crumble too pieces.
@sharonblubaugh9305
11 ай бұрын
I love this! Absolute perfection
@dracoargentum9783
11 ай бұрын
All he needs is the anti-clenching funnel.
@lizkendrick9004
11 ай бұрын
Stephen I'm so so pleased that you're back and that the writers were successful in their strikes. Absorbing the nonsense of the American political landscape is made all the more palatable with your humour. 😅
@SkylerKPHDtrustmebroUNI
11 ай бұрын
😂they weren't successful! They only agreed through a vote. A vote that didn't allow the writers who made less than $36,000 in 6 years to participate in (like an alarmingly BIG chunk of the guild)...and it was the exact same offer they got in the first month!
@openmike4559
11 ай бұрын
You really need to get a life.
@jeanneganrude8549
11 ай бұрын
@@SkylerKPHDtrustmebroUNI Well, this just f*kkin sucks.
@Echo81Rumple83
11 ай бұрын
i'm currently tryna detoxify from watching 5 months straight of bad news with little to no humor by watching all the content Colbert and Oliver have to provide, because doomscrolling can be hazardous to your mental health (even though i needed to know from the news as to when to uproot and flee the country when the US turns into a fascist police state).
@patriciasheldon6273
11 ай бұрын
Oh my, feels good to laugh again. Thank you writers and of course Stephens excellent delivery.
@scottbell1414
11 ай бұрын
As an Ohioan, I'll take every opportunity to boo Jim Jordan
@philipethier9136
11 ай бұрын
I believe there are Members who spell that Gym Jordan.
@Rugelacharugula
11 ай бұрын
@@philipethier9136 I do.
@Rugelacharugula
11 ай бұрын
Don’t blame you. Remember to vote to protect abortion access in November!
@stevejordan7275
11 ай бұрын
As a *Jordan,* I'll take every opportunity to boo Jim Jordan. Boo! BOO! *BOOOOOO!!!* And I was a Republican until the Escalator Ride of Doom. What can I say, other than, "sorry!"
@m.anneblack2908
11 ай бұрын
Jim Jordan 🥴🤢🤮
@johnjurmu5669
11 ай бұрын
I recall he said something along the lines, I'm not going to cut a deal with the Democrats, I don't need their help.
@IdaBrown
11 ай бұрын
He definitely did... sooooooo
@pisto30
11 ай бұрын
And THEN asked them for help to save his worthless self. It is to laugh.
@johnjurmu5669
11 ай бұрын
@@IdaBrown ……..so don’t complain when they don’t bail you out.
@maryannchaisson6742
11 ай бұрын
Great to have you back Stephen!! 🇨🇦👏👏💐🇨🇦
@babbamungulilyandme5390
11 ай бұрын
Wait, are we surprised that professional paid liars didn’t actually keep their own words?!😂😂
@dgrant7291
11 ай бұрын
Surprised? Hardly ....but REALLY enjoying the public ridicule and how the libs are TOTALLY owning them! mmmm so good yea
@OracleAnne
11 ай бұрын
Commander knows how many of those agents deleted their texts from Jan 6. He’s a good boy who is doing his job.
@Antoila80
11 ай бұрын
I feel the same way - Commander's still identifying the Secret Service Agents who have pledged their allegiance to 45 instead of the country. Give him more treats!
@spicyirwin5835
11 ай бұрын
He bites traitors? Wonder what he'd do to trump?💜🐾💜
@scorpiolady1
11 ай бұрын
Man, I missed my late night guys but most ESPECIALLY YOU!! I KNOW it had to be killing you not being able to talk about ALL, and it was killing us not being able to listen to you talk about it and make us laugh through the insanity! 😊🙌❤
@maryanneslater9675
11 ай бұрын
Even though I agree with the writers strike -- everyone has to defend their right to earn a living -- I was thinking they must have been groaning through the news each day as the material piled up.
@TMendocino
11 ай бұрын
"I blame the Democrats, that I threw under the bus after they saved my ass to keep the Gov from shutting down", Kevin McCarthy
@Carewolf
11 ай бұрын
Well obviously it was democrats responsibility to keep the government running, they are the responsible party, so he was doing them a favor... Sigh..
@skullsparkjoker9942
11 ай бұрын
Sure but do you think Hakeem Jeffries or Biden will get that 20 Billion Ukraine Bill passed Now that they sided with their New MAGA f-nut friends
@Yanni75
11 ай бұрын
@@Carewolf You're right. But only in the sense that Republicans are the _irresponsible_ party (who were threatening with government shutdown in the 1st place).
@saturn.3380
11 ай бұрын
Is there any reason why only the Secret Service agents are the ones getting bitten by the dog? They are not the only staff in the White House and Its a little odd.
@jennaxoxox4821
11 ай бұрын
Very weird. I figure the ones being bitten are trumpy leftovers.
@flurglhinge3051
11 ай бұрын
They're the only ones complaining about it. Does throw the whole "fearless heroes willing to take a bullet for the president" thing into question.
@marciamcdevitt964
11 ай бұрын
I have the same question. Normally, I’d say a dog that has bitten people 11 times (!) needs to not be allowed around people, but has he been aggressive with ANYONE besides the secret service??
@lynnettereede6887
11 ай бұрын
In dog years, Commander committed half the crimes trump did. Why can't they just put a muzzle on trump and the dog.
@recole374
11 ай бұрын
Because a dog knows when a person is no good.
@backpacker3421
11 ай бұрын
Just want to say this: To punish Kevin McCarthy for siding with Democrats, those eight Republicans SIDED WITH DEMOCRATS to vote him out.
@mkvv5687
11 ай бұрын
+1 Insightful
@Rugelacharugula
11 ай бұрын
And now they want to BLAME said Democrats. As though they would’ve expected 8 GOP to bail out Pelosi if the tables were turned.
@lauraschwed1545
11 ай бұрын
Except Democrats did not call for Kevin to be ousted. It was all republicans. Democrats just did not vote to same him. McCarthy did this to himself. He put a stupid rule in place and now he is crying about it.
@safaiaryu12
11 ай бұрын
Exactly!!! I do NOT understand why Republican voters refuse to see the hypocrisy!!!
@lisagulick4144
11 ай бұрын
Ikr? Only thing I'm worried about now is who the Crazy Town Crew will replace him with.
@dyent
11 ай бұрын
McCarthy blaming democrats is like a mouse getting caught by a cat and blaming the dogs.
@ninjabluefyre3815
11 ай бұрын
Tom: DON'T YOU BELIEVE IT!
@akgonen60
11 ай бұрын
lmao
@nedludd7622
11 ай бұрын
"...is like..." is a worn out comedy formula which is never informative anymore.
@huldaliljeblad3611
11 ай бұрын
Except it was the other mice feasting on his corpse.
@chonqmonk
11 ай бұрын
@@nedludd7622 An "...is like..." is called a simile.
@kevinbetts2720
11 ай бұрын
If Trump wants “to do what’s best for the country”, he should renounce his citizenship and move to Moscow.
@katiehettinger7857
11 ай бұрын
From your lips to God's ears. 😉👍
@Its-Always-Something54
11 ай бұрын
I dream of the day when that orange tumor is out of our lives. I truly believed that day had come back in November 2020. But no...I'm exhausted!
@erhardbaehni1832
11 ай бұрын
He is waiting for the trump tower to be finished in Moscow build and paid by Russia 😊
@lenawagenfuehr53
11 ай бұрын
Poor Russians
@Hirnlego999
11 ай бұрын
I'm for separation of Trump and planet
@Speakfordemocracy
11 ай бұрын
Great writers!!! It’s nice to be able to laugh in sooo much chaos!!!
@doogandoggin2571
11 ай бұрын
1- don't creep around a German Shepard. 2- don't be loud to one. 3- if you secretly harbor animosity towards the president or have a particular fondness for the previous occupant, try harder to hide your feelings. This dog is reacting to something they are doing.
@leogama3422
11 ай бұрын
exactly!!!
@nix2747
11 ай бұрын
My exact feeling.
@Knight-Bishop
11 ай бұрын
The first documented traitor-sniffing dog, perhaps? 😂
@null_matrix1467
11 ай бұрын
We have no way of knowing that. Don't makes excuses just because it's Biden's dog.
@emcanet
11 ай бұрын
My friend has shepherds. I went to visit her after she moved. The dogs have not seen me in over a year. Apparently when I arrived she noticed a difference. I was the first of her visitors that the dogs didn't bark at. She said I guess they know you are not a threat. Phew! Because they are big dogs. So yeah I am curious what his dog is reacting to.
@diananunez7
11 ай бұрын
I literally draw a breath of intoxicating joy and let out a sigh of serene relief (and satisfying laughter) as I see and hear Stephen Colbert deliver his opening monologue (thank you to all the brilliant writers...you deserve everthing and more!). ❤
@mariegeorge8865
11 ай бұрын
❤❤
@nancysmith8626
11 ай бұрын
I don't know how we stayed sane over the summer without these shows!
@clairebear1808
11 ай бұрын
I was just thinking the same thing 😂😂😂
@jeyonce8901
11 ай бұрын
We didn't. Well I didn't. 😂
@suemccord2633
11 ай бұрын
It was touch and go..😂
@nancysmith8626
11 ай бұрын
@@jeyonce8901 Me either!
@dawnspencer7793
11 ай бұрын
Or me it was my sanity balance and stress relief 😮❤😊so glad late night comedy is back!
@KatySueWho
11 ай бұрын
I feel like I haven’t really laughed for 5 months. _😂 _*_I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU ALL THAT YOU COULD COME TO REASONABLE TERMS!!! YOU ALL ABSOLUTELY DESERVE IT!!!_*_ 💙_
@GreatPlanet-n7n
11 ай бұрын
watched this and still no laughs
@KatySueWho
11 ай бұрын
@@GreatPlanet-n7n😟how sad! Well, maybe you forgot your meds?💊😉 Or maybe this type of comedy isn’t really your favorite thing. But I hope you find other things that make you laugh. I really struggle with depression and I’m only realizing today just how lifting it can feel to really laugh. So, again, I hope you find something that makes you laugh, at least for the endorphins, if nothing else. 😁
@elisaa9981
11 ай бұрын
@@GreatPlanet-n7nToo bad for you. I had a blast!
@sebastianschottenheimer561
11 ай бұрын
You enjoy artificial audience laughs enduced by producers for no real jokes… that makes sense your sense of humor and intelligence is through the roof !
@elisaa9981
11 ай бұрын
@sebastianschottenheimer561 Now, I can't argue with you when it comes to my sense of humor since that is completely subjective. But when it comes to intelligence, let's say that you might be wrong or you or you might be right. I keep that information to myself, and you don't know me. One thing is clear, though, and that is that you deliberately choose to be mean.
@Kats_Tea_Time
11 ай бұрын
"make sure to take your meds" was a great and unexpectedly line 🤣
@FourLightsOfficial
11 ай бұрын
Bought to you by Phytszar
@smileeysface
11 ай бұрын
From someone who seems to need to take some meds, too, just made it better.
@susanwade4796
11 ай бұрын
👍😁 I'm so, so, so, happy your back Stephen. Thanks for the levity you bring to difficult subject matter that all Americans are forced to deal with at this time. 🤗 Hugs to ya, & Evie, your sons, & full Late-Night-Crew. I appreciate you.
@catalinacurio
11 ай бұрын
Only real men take responsibility, what does that say about Kevin…
@tin-n-tan
11 ай бұрын
@@bobisbob646wot?
@susanfanning9480
11 ай бұрын
And a large number of ther politicians.
@kazuma7232
11 ай бұрын
@@bobisbob646Not all of them are like that, bro.😂
@dennisrideout5459
11 ай бұрын
What's that say about biden?
@NuiYabuko
11 ай бұрын
@@dennisrideout5459 That you're a low effort troll.
@sophieamandaleitontoomey9343
11 ай бұрын
Kev you were a bad speaker. It was literally the only thing dems and republicans could agree on.
@TheLordSkeletor
11 ай бұрын
Anything was better than Pelosi at the end of the day
@freya8133
11 ай бұрын
@@TheLordSkeletor Troll!!
@thetruthfornow6045
11 ай бұрын
@@TheLordSkeletor Pelosi was a legend in the eyes of normal people.
@OGdadpool
11 ай бұрын
@@thetruthfornow6045especially since normal people typically overuse/misuse the term "legend"
@1584283
11 ай бұрын
Absolutely true and hillarious
@Njeanous
11 ай бұрын
I am so glad The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is back. His take on the Facts lets me laugh instead of crying about the Threat Donald Trump is to our National Security.
@mikeoxbig7931
11 ай бұрын
The party of “personal responsibility” is too cowardice to take personal responsibility.
@intheknow7659
11 ай бұрын
Id like to know though. Which party takes responsibility for anything?
@donniesumling8549
11 ай бұрын
@@intheknow7659Tupperware party for 300 Alex?
@intheknow7659
11 ай бұрын
@@donniesumling8549 If only a party could be as reliable.
@sonjagay4151
11 ай бұрын
Too cowardly. Yes, they are.
@evangelicalsnever-lie9792
11 ай бұрын
@@intheknow7659 Which party is the one who goes around claiming to be "The Party of Gawd," claims to be the so-called "Moral Majority" and "Party of Personal Responsibility?" Checkmate. They write checks with their vainglorious mouths, that their holier-than-thou self-righteous asses can't cash 😂
@1Kent
11 ай бұрын
It isn't our circus, he wasn't our backstabbing clown 🤡 why would we save him?
@kardondo
11 ай бұрын
Because this move allows the sedition caucus led by Gaetz to place their goons as the speaker of the house.
@garfield2439
11 ай бұрын
So you think the next will be any better?
@seanstravelsandvlogs6233
11 ай бұрын
@@garfield2439The Democrats will just say: "He's the Republican Speaker, not ours."
@skullsparkjoker9942
11 ай бұрын
Sure but do you think Hakeem Jeffries or Biden will get that 20 Billion Ukraine Bill passed Now that they sided with their New MAGA f-nut friends
@robertt9342
11 ай бұрын
@@garfield2439. You are providing a reason why the democrats MIGHT not vote against him, but you are not providing a reason why they SHOULD vote for him.
@wayneriley7367
11 ай бұрын
So if Gaetz is asking for campaign contributions and they think it’s disgusting then censure him!
@kiriuxeosa8716
11 ай бұрын
Nah too much work just let him do what he wants
@syav4467
11 ай бұрын
I don't blame Biden's dog for not trusting the Secret Service, trump's S.S. aided him in his failed coup. 🤣
@thomasbraeking6225
11 ай бұрын
I wonder if that was a left-over Defendant1 loyalist SS poser.
@haroldbrooks4235
11 ай бұрын
Exactly
@Knight-Bishop
11 ай бұрын
The world's first treason-sniffing dog. 😂
@gregsonger7221
11 ай бұрын
You're right. Dogs pick up the vibe people are putting out. If I were Joe I would keep the dog and get rid of the agent.
@maxdoubt5219
11 ай бұрын
"Device replacement program" my ass! 😄
@michaelrobertson4896
11 ай бұрын
“Smother yourself in honey and let the fire ants have at you” I died laughing at that 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@T.T.M.60
11 ай бұрын
Oh, how I’ve missed you, Mr. Colbert!, it is SO good to have you back.
@sesileeshaffer-w6t
11 ай бұрын
Stepen Cobert is the only reason I am voting Trump for 2024
@brianabc83
11 ай бұрын
I heard that trump can't be speaker because of the republican's own rules. Something to do with if a speaker is indicted on a felony with at least a 2 yr sentence he must step aside.
@evangelicalsnever-lie9792
11 ай бұрын
They can simply change the rules or ignore then with zero legal repercussion because they are not laws, only Club Rules.
@dracoargentum9783
11 ай бұрын
Rules? Rules? We don need no stinky rules!
@openmike4559
11 ай бұрын
Do you people really tune into night shows for politics?
@WaterborneCamper
11 ай бұрын
@@openmike4559 because crying in the comments section of shows that Trump told you to dislike is such a better use of time... 🤣🐑🤣
@brianabc83
11 ай бұрын
@openmike4559 at least the "night shows" spread the news out to a wider electorate vs just a political audience, and in most part is true news unlike fox, oann, etc. which spread republican lies.
@freedomfinder5196
11 ай бұрын
What are those secret service folks doing to the dog when no one sees?
@1MrAngel1
11 ай бұрын
If a k-9 attacks a civiliion, it's BACK THE BLUE.
@dianacanales2526
11 ай бұрын
Ah! Good question! Possibly trying to deliberately get rid of Joe's very loyal & protective dog...??? Then crying to the press to make a big stink? If they're holdovers from the previous administration, I wouldn't doubt it.
@thephilster6860
11 ай бұрын
The agents are probably snorting cocaine.
@Nancy-tr5fi
11 ай бұрын
Glad you're back Stephen. we need you,this Congress has been unimaginably bizarre. So relieved listening to you and laughing!
@spicytomango
11 ай бұрын
Trump probably thinks being the Speaker means he can speak all he wants without consequences
@sfurules
11 ай бұрын
I mean....would e be wrong based on the evidence we have?
@intheknow7659
11 ай бұрын
Actually, he is protected. Thing is, he is in your head, that is even better.
@judithmura495
11 ай бұрын
That's a repulsive thought because he suffers from diarrhea of the brain/mouth connection
@Danin4985
11 ай бұрын
🤣
@unvergebeneid
11 ай бұрын
True, although he already seems to think that.
@jesujuwonkuye9941
11 ай бұрын
Great feeling to see Stephen Colbert back in full strength
@napoleonibonaparte7198
11 ай бұрын
Secret Service agents: "I fear no man... but that..." "It terrifies me."
@MikeJones-xu3xw
11 ай бұрын
Thank you, Stephen and writers! You make this dumpster fire aka Congress seem a tad more palatable. We missed you! Signed, America
@OfficialWizzop
11 ай бұрын
😮😂
@Rugelacharugula
11 ай бұрын
No. A dumpster fire of a *GOP.* Pelosi had just as narrow of a majority and shit got DONE.
@charlotte-m5d
11 ай бұрын
No we didn’t. He’s a joke.
@Rugelacharugula
11 ай бұрын
@@charlotte-m5d thanks for watching!
@gameburn178
11 ай бұрын
Congress is great; just a problem with who is getting elected to it.
@dad102
11 ай бұрын
"Then slather yourself in honey and let the fire ants have at you." Kudos to the writer who came up with that.
@virginiamoss7045
11 ай бұрын
As for Commander, he's doing exactly what he was bred for. He knows his "family" and he will protect them from strangers, strangers being all the rotating secret service body guards. If the people in charge were to take the time to introduce the dog to the stranger as part of the family before the secret service person gets on duty, this would not be a problem at all. Don't they have competent dog trainers to give advice? It's really just common sense.
@maryanneslater9675
11 ай бұрын
I was thinking the same thing. Hand and paw shaking all around and a friendly, "We're on the same duty, Commander" so that the dog knows these people are part of his master's pack. Although, I've also wondered how many of the secret service people who got bitten were secretly MAGA. :)
@gafls3151
11 ай бұрын
I also wonder how many of these people secretly taunt the dogs behind people's backs.
@HRHDMKYT
11 ай бұрын
I’m thinking these particular Secret Service agents are MAGAs, and the dog can sense they with the President harm…
@Chris.Pontius
11 ай бұрын
What the hell. He bit them 11ntines and you are blaming the victims? That dog needs to be removed. And this comes from someone that absolutely loves dogs. He clearly is way too defensive/aggressive. My dog would never act like this.
@virginiamoss7045
11 ай бұрын
@@Chris.Pontius Loving dogs does not mean knowing dogs, unfortunately. Where in my post did I blame any victims. I blame the situation the dog has been put in. And if you can't figure out that, you don't know dogs. Slow down and use reading comprehension.
@laurabogojevich9378
11 ай бұрын
“Why don’t you slather yourself in honey and let the fire ants have at you?” Psssst, Stephen, you said the quiet part out loud
@mikeoxbig7931
11 ай бұрын
Republicans are either too busy getting indicted or tearing into each other. I love it 😆
@RocafellaPlaza
11 ай бұрын
While Democrats are either too busy handing out false indictments for political purposes or pushing a gender/race agenda. I love it 😂
@richardmaclean7581
11 ай бұрын
Typical Republicans… They save the fetus, nine months later, they toss the baby out with the bathwater.
@themysterysith
11 ай бұрын
@@sebastianschottenheimer561 bro did you forget the party’s switched 🤣
@Geoffreydarcy-pv4mq
11 ай бұрын
The party's at the Funhouse.
@petera1117
11 ай бұрын
@@sebastianschottenheimer561 current front runner of a party has 91 charges against him. Wanna talk about 200+ years ago or today? Take off the 1776 hat and bring up relevant points.
@elenadirectorofmiiss7942
11 ай бұрын
You know at this point... I trust the dog more than the Secret Service after they hid texts and emails from January 6th.
@severance1961
11 ай бұрын
Seeing the show for the first time after a five month hiatus Stephen Colbert is once again on top of his game. Kudos 👌
@randallmaes609
11 ай бұрын
Does anyone know why Stephen started using tRUMP'S name again?
@gustavofigueiredo1798
11 ай бұрын
@@randallmaes609 I noticed it, and wondered about it too... Maybe they just got tired of coming up with new acronyms, or/and don't wan't to rely/promote Xwitter to get people's suggestions through the "#HeWhoShallNotBeNamed".
@tvmonte
11 ай бұрын
@@randallmaes609 I'm thinking the five months off gave him the chance to not be so angry about him anymore especially since The Donald was once again making asinine comments about windmills and decided he wanted to really make fun of him again by also once again imitating his unique voice!
@mysam4504
11 ай бұрын
I've missed Stephen so much I don't mind watching the reupload. 😎
@subpilot1000
11 ай бұрын
Thank God for Stephen Colbert and his writers who, if laughter is the best medicine add years to my life!😂❤
@tabaxikhajit4541
11 ай бұрын
"Slather yourself in honey and let the fire ants have at you." This is why we needed the writer's strike to end. I have been emotionally unable to face the world without them. They can be so brutal that I wonder why I like them, but then a writer's strike happens, and I have to face the world without humor. No can do.
@janetbeebe6578
11 ай бұрын
It's fun to watch the Republicans feed on each other like a bunch of vampires at the Halloween Buffet.😂😂
@AbidingDude420
11 ай бұрын
Where's Buffy when we need her?
@raymondtorres-gy8uj
11 ай бұрын
More like a bunch of bat-shit-crazy vampires inside a blood bank 🩸fighting with some blood 🩸thirsty leaches from HELL 🩸🩸😂😂 It's just a beautyful sight!! 😂😂
@panoruryu
11 ай бұрын
Oh come now, people actually like vampires!
@allenlovell1604
11 ай бұрын
No, I liken their behavior more to a " shark 😤 feeding frenzy ! " Of course, we'll soon see how long his successor will last !
@hawkeye5955
11 ай бұрын
@@panoruryu: Except the ones from Twilight. Nobody likes those.
@barbaralamprecht5784
11 ай бұрын
It was so so good to laugh because it's been hell without you and your colleagues. The show shone tonight because of all the writers supporting you. Desperately needed. Thank you for the honey and fire ants. Me, I pray for the cumulative impact of McDee fare.
@starrdust13
11 ай бұрын
What a way to celebrate National Kevin Day 😂😂
@marthakrail1534
11 ай бұрын
😂😂😂The writers and Mr. Colbert were on 🔥 with this monologue❤❤❤❤.
@OneThousandHomoDJs
11 ай бұрын
Kevin put through a new rule that was used against him? Who could have seen that coming, other than literally everyone?
@nagmastergeneral55
11 ай бұрын
I would trust Biden's dog over his Secret Service without fail.
@flurglhinge3051
11 ай бұрын
Well one of them has demonstrated a tireless dedication to the president's safety and the other is full of people who keep running to the press every time they get scared by a dog. Let's hope America's enemies don't acquire self-guiding German Shepherd technology
@nix2747
11 ай бұрын
I suspect that dog is an excellent judge of character and knows exactly who is untrustworthy. Let him keep weeding out the bad ones.
@Mondfischli
11 ай бұрын
@@nix2747... hope you're right and he's not just taking on the cat lovers 😂
@nix2747
11 ай бұрын
@@Mondfischli Eeep! I hadn't thought about that. But no, Commander is a good boy. He knows how to pick the right ones.
@Simon-hb9rf
11 ай бұрын
he only bites the secret service agents that supported trumps coup.
@TimeTheory2099
11 ай бұрын
Now Kevin and Joe McCarthy can share a footnote in history as two of the biggest boneheads in national history.
@MRB16th
11 ай бұрын
I've called Kevin "California Joe" for a while.
@MonkeyJedi99
11 ай бұрын
And Charlie is STILL the smartest McCarthy.
@dismurrart6648
11 ай бұрын
That last name is just a curse if you crave power
@JokesInBase13
11 ай бұрын
If an otherwise well-trained, good-tempered dog is getting defensive against very specific people, I'd be very worried about what those people are hiding. Think twice before you trust someone who a dog doesn't.
@spicyirwin5835
11 ай бұрын
Imagine all the land sharks Commander has to protect the Bidens of?💜🐾💜
@andrewgrimshaw1606
11 ай бұрын
That monologue was genius the booing thing had me in stitches 😂
@itsjustme8947
11 ай бұрын
I've 'owned' German Shepherds for 50 years and I have NEVER seen one bite unless something was seriously wrong with that person. I'd trust Commander's instincts on this! These good boys and girls are perhaps the best and brightest of all dog breeds.
@13699111
11 ай бұрын
I agree with your comment a hundred percent
@itsjustme8947
11 ай бұрын
@@13699111 Ah, a fellow GSD admirer?
@charlotte-m5d
11 ай бұрын
That makes you stupid as they are considered dogs that can’t be rehabbed.
@veryberry39
11 ай бұрын
My neighbor, when I was around 19, had a young GSD. That dog attacked almost everyone who wasn't the owner, and completely randomly. I remember her and my mom being outside on our deck one evening, and I went to the back door to ask her a question. That dog snarled and LUNGED at me. If I hadn't gotten the door shut in time, I'd have been seriously injured. Even after the door was shut, he threw himself repeatedly at the glass, snarling the whole time. He finally had to be put down when he did the same thing to his veterinarian. It wasn't until I became a groomer and learned all the GSDs were scared of their own shadows that I stopped being nervous around them. Still, even I'd be the first to admit the violence isn't a breed thing. Just like people, there are bad ones in every bunch.
@itsjustme8947
11 ай бұрын
@@veryberry39 Sounds like your neighbor had a puppy-mill GSD. Inbred to the nth in order to make a buck. 50 years of these dogs, I'm currently on #32 & #33 and not once have I EVER seen the behavior you're describing. Groomer? So, you were exposed to them at their 'drama queen' pinnacle. Answer: snacks and baby talk. Even military & police trained attack lines won't go snappy without command and the INSTANT they are released from 'work mode'? Back to 'doofus mode'.
@kingace6186
11 ай бұрын
Biden's dogs not trusting the Secret Service agents because of their solemn faces is the funniest thing I have heard all day.
@anondecepticon
11 ай бұрын
They just want to be told they’re the goodest boys.
@ClancyNacht
11 ай бұрын
I trust the dogs. Something shady going on with those agents.
@SpaceForceCommander
11 ай бұрын
Even if Trump can be Speaker, he won’t - because he has to turn up and do his job which doesn’t involve a lot of “executive time”.
@victoriabaker4400
11 ай бұрын
Yeah plus his presence is mandated in several court trials. He may think he could use the position to get put of the trials, but I'm pretty certain he would be wrong. Plus, he just wants a public platform to grift donations off his marks.
@meh8982
11 ай бұрын
Exactly. Not a chance Trump would accept a job where he actually needs to show up and do actual work. Although most people other than him would consider "US President" to be in that category.
@dracoargentum9783
11 ай бұрын
Of course, his republicans would make excuses for him to miss work.
@TheRotties
11 ай бұрын
He can’t be speaker. Ever time he opens his mouth, the only thing he will focus on is how they stole the election from him and maybe that might be eclipsed by how much mar-a-largo is worth. Remember how he just had to bring up his non-election at Diamond’s funeral?
@lousialb8962
11 ай бұрын
I predict there'll be some shitshow making it impossible to make Trump speaker even if anyone but MTG wanted that. Then Trump will play victim of "dirty political tricks" that "unfairly robbed him of saving America." The rest of the GOP will turn on the faux outrage at the "sick, evil Dems" and use this as the latest fabricated distraction from actually getting anything done. Maybe try to launch an inquiry or something. In other words, same old same old. Lather, rinse, repeat.
@NatashaBehrends
11 ай бұрын
This is the only way I get the news without wanting to throw my phone out the window!
@pauldacus4590
11 ай бұрын
Gaetz: McCarthy is the worst speaker ever Jim Jordan: Hold my beer
@dagordon1041
11 ай бұрын
Good one.
@elizabethhart4164
11 ай бұрын
NOT BEER........ HOLD THIS VERY YOUNG GURLS HAND & HOLD THA COCAINE!!!!!!!
@maryhannah4462
11 ай бұрын
Welcome back, writers. I really missed you. And Stephen....
@sarcasmo57
11 ай бұрын
Nailed it Steve. Good to have you back.
@tommanning3766
11 ай бұрын
Clearly, the DC-R crowd did not anticipate the return of this show.
@solarbirdyz
11 ай бұрын
It's endlessly delightful seeing Republicans use Republican tactics and strategy against Republicans and seeing all the other Republicans getting mad about it.
@bsmith5304
11 ай бұрын
Exactly 💯 😂😂😂
@debbievoss3496
11 ай бұрын
I like that, endlessly delightful.
@Rockstar69000
11 ай бұрын
It’s delightful to watch democrats lie about Trump, Russian hackers and men can have babies
@safaiaryu12
11 ай бұрын
And then saying the Democrats did it...
@williammayhoperights
11 ай бұрын
So good to see we have an honest comedian back!
@Saeryfim
11 ай бұрын
Commander is just doing his job defending the President.
@dennisrideout5459
11 ай бұрын
So stupid
@IliyaMoroumetz
11 ай бұрын
Commander says, 'ACAB'
@Knight-Bishop
11 ай бұрын
How much do you wanna bet the ones he's biting are Trump loyalists that hate having to be on Biden's security detail? 😂
@USUG0
11 ай бұрын
Cocaine Commander keeps finding Don Jr's stash everywhere around the WH
@garfield2439
11 ай бұрын
@@Knight-Bishopyou know that's what I think. I wish they wouldn't have him around all of them because he will end up getting put to sleep for doing his job
@hi55us2
11 ай бұрын
So happy to have Colbert back a part of my morning routine!
@tigersforever4577
11 ай бұрын
Dogs can sniff out betrayal, and how many of those agents were complicit in Jan 6, I wonder? Commander doesn't trust these agents, and I bet his instincts are correct.
@kwatson4394
11 ай бұрын
Commander is biting the MAGA agents. #DogsAreSmarter
@freya8133
11 ай бұрын
I looked up "National Kevin Day"....its REAL!! Get outta here!!
@heidinova6883
11 ай бұрын
Keep the dog. Fire that agent. He doesn't know German Shepherd behavior. They are protective and they do bark when they are concerned but they are highly intelligent. I grew up with them. I love this segment and was rolling the whole time. So glad to have Stephen and the late night writers back!!
@dracoargentum9783
11 ай бұрын
I would laugh if it later turns out everyone Commander had bitten was actually part of the effort to “loose” the missing 6 hours.
@dracoargentum9783
11 ай бұрын
Even more-so; I’d further laugh if the REASON Commander KNOWS which Service Agents were compromised during the communication scandal because those individual agents are still smelling like His Loser, because they are still in physical contact with Him, to coordinate.
@sues6847
11 ай бұрын
Great to have you all back! So happy for the writers and grateful to the rest who supported them during the strike.
@thatoneguy3284
11 ай бұрын
Lol ok, that cut to John Kennedy was THE FUNNIEST way ive seen that used 😂😂😂
@winesap2
11 ай бұрын
Turd in a hot tub is the best description of Trump.
@Mi_Pi
11 ай бұрын
Excellent Stephen! I watch your show here as I start my day, to do so informed and with a laugh.
@virginiabarton1056
11 ай бұрын
What the heck?…Take that poor dog to Delaware! He’s obviously not handling life in the White House!
@adamfanalways
11 ай бұрын
So happy your back, along with all the late night monologues!!!🙌
@LisaHumble
11 ай бұрын
It's so good to see you again, Steven! MAYBE the world won't blow up now that you're back!
@FourLightsOfficial
11 ай бұрын
6:08 WOW Stephen is so charismatic! I can't believe he got the crowd to boo cutting off big lobby and special interests funding! Bravo 👏
@PatriciaOConnorBonsaiBalcony
11 ай бұрын
Never met the secret service person or Commander, But if a Dog say's that your a Dick Then your a Dick.
@jalabi99
11 ай бұрын
8:15 The way Mr. McHenry slammed that gavel down you'd think it owed him money or something 🤣
@lloydmckay3241
11 ай бұрын
He's some kind of garden gnome isn't he. That bow tie along with the rest is rather comical. And of course his cute name.
@MikeFelix1805
11 ай бұрын
McCarthy is part of history now on 2 accounts One for the most number of times or days until he got to be speaker. And the other for getting kicked out of the job in less than 9 months after getting the job as speaker 😂
@android12921
11 ай бұрын
Glad Stephen is back, in time for Trump losing on a daily basis.
@dennisrideout5459
11 ай бұрын
Trump 2024!!
@agolftwittler1223
11 ай бұрын
"You see the mob takes the Fifth, if you are innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment." Inmate P01135809 verbatim, 2016. My oh my, that didn't age well 😂
@agolftwittler1223
11 ай бұрын
"In my administration, I'm going to enforce all laws concerning the protection of classified information." "No one will be above the law." Inmate P01135809 verbatim, 2016. Dear oh dear, that didn't age well either 😂
@agolftwittler1223
11 ай бұрын
Inmate P01135809 waddled into a bar....................... ........................and lowered it.
@android12921
11 ай бұрын
@@dennisrideout5459Trump 20-24 years.
@allenedwards2940
11 ай бұрын
Wow, even the convicted pedophile Dennis Hastert didn't get fired. Kevin out there making all kinds of history.🤣🤣😂😂
@Knight-Bishop
11 ай бұрын
Well, it was probably because the party leaders knew it already and held it over him the entire time so he'd do exactly what they wanted. Oh and because, you know, they don't care when their own guys do it.
@anaperez5442
11 ай бұрын
Dogs are excellent judges of character. My 💰 is on him knowing those Agents are no good.
@cherylb6755
11 ай бұрын
“Well then, slather yourself with honey and let the fire ants have at you.” Brilliant! 👏🏻⚖️🇺🇸
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