I've noticed some people saying in the comment section that I seem unwell or that I'm about to give up on life. To clarify, this was filmed on a day when I was both mentally and physically exhausted and just lost my grandmother. I think that we should be allowed to have a bad day without pathologising every little experience and mental state. It's natural and normal to have days like this.
@oceanaoushn8803
Жыл бұрын
I couldn't agree more. We got so used to being pressured to look well and act alert and fresh ...that we fail to notice how heartless that is. Years ago, when Kate Middleton gave birth to her FIRST child..only hours later,she was standing ..posing for observers. her hair freshly washed and arranged ..immaculate make up....elegantly dressed. Why on Earth?!
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
@@oceanaoushn8803 Because the world of celebrities is fake. No wonder they finish themselves off.
@oceanaoushn8803
Жыл бұрын
@@alexanderl9721 exactly. Sad thing in itself.
@susanbrockhurst1845
Жыл бұрын
X about your grandmother.... That happened to Prince Harry - _-, Princess Diana rang him and he couldn't wait to get back to playing😢
@schizoid555
Жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry for your loss and the hardship you’ve had in your youth, it is totally normal to have bad days, you are okay. Disregard comments just focus on ur message ❤
@NalaT8330
Жыл бұрын
People celebrate and encourage a person when getting the bottom surgery, but ignore you when detransitiong or talk about the horror, painful the surgery. Mental health is real, this young man is the perfect example.
@oceanaoushn8803
Жыл бұрын
The way those surgeries are presented as: all will be perfect! is beyond me. People (men, women) have so e body parts removed and others re-shaped, attached... Just compare what THEIR bodies ENDURE to some rather ROUTINE stuff in general population! Example? Penil inversion? Also known as "axe wound". Here (in Croatia) during natural (read: vaginal) childbirth the obstetricians routinely do episiotomy,which is: cut with blade perineum (fro vagina toward anus). The part is stitched after the child is delivered. Women suffer discomfort and burning sensation for a few weeks. Now ..men. Weird,but something called testicular Inversion..twist..may occur. It is NOT only painful, but may lead to NECROSIS of tissue ..risk for general body condition And then listening about bottom surgeries... bearable? All will be fine? Soon? Non-trans people will sweat and moan with pain for days and weeks for episiotomy.... testicular Inversion . While trans people are expected to put on smile and drive back home a day after surgery?! (Usually general population gets better care after appendectomy!)
@abd5441
Жыл бұрын
@@oceanaoushn8803 Have you had a reassignment consultation? Doctors DO NOT present, “all will be well!” In fact, can you provide ONE source that has said that because I’ve always heard the surgery described by media, advocates, everyone knowledgeable as being a massive undertaking, full of known risks. Patients must have psychiatric analysis & the transition is usually a multi year process; no one involved takes these issues lightly or flippantly.
@emberd-l795
Жыл бұрын
@@oceanaoushn8803 You're just lying. Doctor's do not present it as "all will be perfect." They let you know the risks beforehand. They inform you that things can go wrong. That's why you have to sign informed consent forms.
@emberd-l795
Жыл бұрын
Detransitioners should absolutely be supported. They deserve all the gender affirming care they need, just as people wanting to transition do. Everyone deserves to have their problems taken seriously, and have the options they have made clear to them, as well as being given all the risks and potential benefits that those options come with thoroughly explained to them.
@ancientpolyethnic2898
Жыл бұрын
@@emberd-l795 They inform of the risks but how do they present those risks in comparison to a supposed elevation of dysphoria? Do they say the brutal truth like “what we are about to do is really dangerous and can reduce your quality of life significantly. We can not make anything close to a real vagina, what we are creating is a wound that you have to keep dilating to keep open because your body will try to heal itself and close the wound?” I doubt very much that they do. Some of them hand over a paper with a list of side effects but they don’t really tell you the brutal truth about what you’re about it do and then they make you sign a consent form so that it’s all your fault if something goes wrong when they know something always goes wrong with bottom surgery
@Necrofem
Жыл бұрын
honest people like you helped me stay away from srs during the few years of my hrt, I'm glad I got away
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
I'm glad too. Hope you're happy with how things are.
@Sherlock245
11 ай бұрын
That is a big mistake about being happy.
@user-sk3um7it3s
Ай бұрын
Why are you pretending to be a woman?
@user-sk3um7it3s
Ай бұрын
You should stop pretending to be a woman.
@HarmlessComment
Жыл бұрын
It's so hard to hear young people say "I never felt this.." or "I never liked this.." because most of these people haven't even lived 25yrs yet, they have had such a short life to be saying "never" so frequently.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Agree. I remember when I used to say "I'd never want to have kids". Funny enough, that changed around the time I turned 25.
@elsagrace3893
Жыл бұрын
Hating a part of your body is certainly a mental illness.
@ninakamenic3679
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely. I can't fathom how we've come to a point where "experts" say it's "life saving health care" to cut people's body parts off and replace them with disfuncional wounds. 🤦♀️🤷♀️
@greenbeans575
Жыл бұрын
Having a vendetta for your own penis does seem to be a bit counterproductive. 😂 (I was making a funny despite this being a serious topic)
@pambennett8967
Жыл бұрын
I'm so so sorry this happened to you . The surgeons that did this should be in jail .
@lashonnmurray2762
Жыл бұрын
They couldn't give him surgery if he didn't go lay on the table for them to do it. It's an experiment for these doctors.
@roxannerobinson5729
Жыл бұрын
Only it didnt. This person is maybe 24. if they had surgery at age 14 why do they look act and sound like a whole ass man
@Rosieq1197
11 ай бұрын
It’s normal to be angry at them but they were simply doing their job, he signed a contract before he got the surgery so he knew what he was getting into, that’s his responsibility
@n6rt9s
11 ай бұрын
Only 1% of trans people end up detransitioning. Those who don't transition have worse mental health and are more likely to commit suicide Not doing the surgery and transition in general is more risky than doing it. It's sad what happens to the 1%, but if you look at trans people as a whole, transition, including the surgery, saves lives!
@catherinerita8768
Жыл бұрын
Nothing you talk about is easy to talk about. Yet your transparency and willingness to reveal yourself makes me admire you so much! You are extremely intuitive and so in touch with your own thoughts and feelings. There are so many channels with drivel and fluff that bores me within a few seconds. I could listen to you ruminate for hours over things that actually matter. The idea of the penis is so full of symbolism, it's impossible to escape them, both the good and the bad. I hate it too, but from a woman's perspective who was assaulted as a child. It offers no sense of intimacy, but rather feelings of dread and violation. So, this sense of dissociation is pretty darn common, in my humble opinion. And I'm not sure that being a deeply thinking and self-aware person is helpful. The tendency is to over-analyze and beat every subject to death trying to get a better understanding of why certain things effect me the way they do and why I feel this way or that. I still prefer to be a thinker and be analytical rather than some other way. But it doesn't always make for blissful happiness. I can't wait for your next vid. My condolences on your grandmother's passing; I know how heartbreaking that loss is.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thank you. Being self-aware can be both a gift and a curse.
@christopherd6399
Жыл бұрын
Sorry mate. This is the best and most practical explanation I've heard. All the best to you, really.
@ЫыЫ-ь1о
Жыл бұрын
Thank you very much for sharing your story. In some ways I can relate it... And I'm sorry for your loss.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@tubermind
Жыл бұрын
Your honest reflections are very valuable to the discussion. Thank you.
@-ox9zz
Жыл бұрын
If the itching is accompanied by a rash or redness, you may be dealing w a fungal or bacterial infection. There are over the counter creams for both and internally, eating pickled garlic or otherwise adding more garlic to your diet and a daily drink of a shot of apple cider vinegar diluted in a glass of water might also help. Much respect and gratitude for and to you. I sent your testimony to a friend who is "affirming" his child w hormones and lies.
@DorianPaige00
Жыл бұрын
There's nothing wrong with taking hormones to correct your body to match who you are internally. It's not a lie.
@Music_Lover26
Жыл бұрын
@@DorianPaige00There is something wrong with doing this to a child. A child is not mentally, psychologically or emotionally capable of understanding the ramifications of such "treatments", nor do they have the ability to give INFORMED CONSENT. Leave children ALONE!
@DorianPaige00
Жыл бұрын
@@Music_Lover26 You should meet the families with transgender kids. It's not something forced and foisted on kids. Puberty blockers are approved for younger populations with precocious puberty and they come off them and resume natal puberty and are not left sterilized. Estrogen is used by women in menopause. The medicine is safe and you are discriminating against trans teens. It's actually better to go through gender transition in the earlier years because there is parental guidance and support. We are willing to fight over this as this has been a long standing medical treatment for adolescents for 25 years. Hormonal gender transition started 100 years ago. By saying that "you are doing this to a child" is invalidating gender transition as health care. I know you think it's quackery and a man can't become a woman and it's all mutilation. Today it's under 18's. Tomorrow you'll expand it to 25. Then you'll say people on medicare, medicaid, and private insurance won't be covered. It doesn't end because you believe it's a mental illness and bad medicine when in fact patients improve. Stop harming the most vulnerable among us as they are fighting their natal puberty. You are forcing anorexia, permanent isolation, and suicide.
@-ox9zz
Жыл бұрын
@@DorianPaige00 "Wrong" isn't a word I'd use. Toxic, harmful, dangerous, risky, unhealthy, carcinogenic - these are. Hormones are incredibly important in biological function in different ways in males and females. One example: testosterone is critical for male pancreatic function. On second thought, wrong - as in Wrong sex Hormones, and as in the doctor is wrong to prescribe wrong sex Hormones - is apt. If you're taking wrong sex Hormones, please do some research.
@DorianPaige00
Жыл бұрын
@@-ox9zz I have done research and it was done decades ago. I'm 12 years into transition and am in perfect health. Furthermore everyone else in my family by my age has either had diabetes, auto-immune disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or cancer and I've had none of that. If folks like yourself want to stir the pot by pushing false narratives and then go on news networks and before Congress and state houses, we will respond. You don't have a medical license and my doctor does. HRT has existed for transgender patients for over 100 years. If you try to go after the medicine by going after my doctor's license, it will be viewed as using force and we will respond with a greater force. If you put our safety in jeopardy, your safety will also be in jeopardy. Furthermore my neighbor is 70 and takes Lupron and estrogen not for gender transition but to control his prostate cancer. See, I thought you knew it all. Let the doctors do their job.
@notmyname-c4o
8 ай бұрын
it's not worth it not having a working urethra, gender dysphoria regardless. chronic physical pain with a bodily function is much worse than the psychological pain of feeling different--the latter is curable; the former is not, in no way. Doctors will admit this--after the first surgery, it's done; there's no going back to "natural;" it's all just cosmetic, basically. Doctors do not understand the human reproductive system well enough to reconstruct it themselves, and they pretend to be miracle workers when they advertise that they can change a man's genitalia into a woman's, and vice versa--it's complete ideology.
@DRAGONFLYS06
Жыл бұрын
Just in case it could make you feel better as someone born female if we squat for a pee we can't control the stream it goes everywhere including on our legs. I have a device for females that can help girls to pee standing up and it takes practice to use without peeing on yourself, even them it is not failproof. I am autistic and struggle to connect to my body so I understand some of the things you are saying. Stray strong Alexander, you are inspiring, amazing and perfect just the way you are, sending you hugs Jennie xxx
@a_lucientes
5 ай бұрын
Thank you for speaking out. Takes a lot of courage. Stories like this break my heart. What a terribly predatory _healthcare_ system we have. Now a number of studies have come out show no positive btwn _SRS_ and suicide. As you learned the hard way, there is no such thing as SRS. Also, the idea"I rather have a happy daughter than a dead son" has been shown time and time again to not be true. So, even the reasons for being so extreme are based on lies. Sure, the rates are higher, but they remain that way post-surgery. Surgery can not change who we are - regardless of what people say. Allow them their delusions. Use commonsense and your own experience. AGP is one thing - it's also used as a gay dating strategy. Someone like Blair White (whatever his name is) seems to fit into that category,, tho' he probably has AGP as well.
@glamnesianouveaux2039
Жыл бұрын
I love that you are just a person which is ultimately what we are, people ... Without a label ... But just YOU which equals perfectly you
@stevie68a
10 ай бұрын
Keep up with your courageous self. From my own dysphoria and as a mature person, I can tell you that there are actually men who would enjoy intimate relations with you. Not easy to find, but seek them out in personal ads or web sites, etc. Beyond your despair, recognize that you're actually unique, and make the most of your situation. BTW, I agree that restoration will probably leave you worse off.
@kimberleeoneal
3 ай бұрын
I'm so sorry. Thank you for having the guts to share your story and for being so honest.
@gabbyb7347
10 ай бұрын
Your story needs to be heard more. Especially by straight agp guys. I'm pretty sure you like women, a great hint that maybe you shouldn't have transitioned in the first place. I consider myself a true HSTS and there's no way i will be getting this surgery because I've heard terrible things about it
@alexanderl9721
10 ай бұрын
Thank you for your comment. I like men though. I'm glad you came tot his conclusion I've noticed that the younger generations of trans people are more sceptical to this type of surgery than the older ones.
@gabbyb7347
10 ай бұрын
@@alexanderl9721 yep. I mean i do have genital dysphoria but Unless the doctors can 100% garantee they can turn it into a vagina instead of an inverted penis (trading a functional organ to a non functional one doesn't seem like a good business imo), which probably Will never happen, i'll stayi the way i am. I would rather have more feminazing procedures like FFS or body feminization, I don't hear Many complains against any of these, quite the opposite. I do hear plenty of botched SRS results tho. I will just have ffs, rino (which I need regqrless of My trans status because I cannot Breathe very well anyways) and Finally some BA. Ive been on HRT for almost 3 and a half years and I already have; enough space for a Nice pair. If I ever regret all of this, I mean ffs would only make me look younger anyways as female features tend to make u look softer and Younger and I already have a developed breast thanks to HRT and I don't feel any regret about it at all.
@PossibleBat
Жыл бұрын
I just don’t have much to say, I can’t comprehend what you are going through, but I can only wish that whatever you do, whatever you chose, I hope you do it for yourself. You don’t need a penis to feel like a man, the man you are. I empathize with the aversion to phallic appendages, that’s just a truth for so many, hope you can heal from the pain you have been through and are still going through ❤
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thanks.
@Gingerblaze
Жыл бұрын
Do you know what it is about your or other peoples penises or "phallas shaped apendages" that you have an aversion to?
@eileen1820
Ай бұрын
Sorry just seeing this, but I'm so sorry to hear about you losing your Grandma ❤️
@jen4um
Жыл бұрын
One more thing, God Loves you and he truly does love you, not for what you think you are or are not. I truly have this overwhelming sense that God is reaching out to you. I honestly wish I knew you I just feel the need to hug you.
@ralsharp6013
Жыл бұрын
My sister had phantom pains. That's the main reason that I would ever pop the question.
@VelvetyMoon
11 ай бұрын
Wait... what?
@ralsharp6013
5 ай бұрын
@VelvetyMoon During the first minute, he said the people ask him if he misses his penis! The only reason I would ask that, is because data needs to be collected at FDA concerning phantom pains after transgender surgery. 🙏
@genalee5211
Жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry this happened to you🥺😞 along with all the other detransitioners 😭😭😭
@winsomewife7112
Жыл бұрын
Intact men often sit too pee if tired. My husband always sits in the early morning before work, in the dark, even showers with the lights off he's so tired and not ready for light until it's time to dry his hair etc.
@Stalemarshmallow
Жыл бұрын
Hi Alexander, thank you so much for your perspective, it’s so important. You have really highlighted how sexuality is a spectrum and not everyone feels the same about sex and body parts. May I ask if you are asexual? Your thoughts and feelings about your body parts remind me of how my friend feels about his.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thank you. Good question. I will answer that in a video later on.
@sia9907
Жыл бұрын
There's no such thing as 'asexuality'. It's a disorder. We are designed, physically and emotionally, to want sex. When the desire is absent there's a physical or emotional issue. This spectrum thinking has to stop. Sex is binary, gender isn't real.
@rodolfoerdogan4983
6 ай бұрын
You are so brave and in more ways than one. People can take you as you are, or move along!
@winsomewife7112
Жыл бұрын
I've thought for a long time that Jesus would probably have hated having man parts bcz he still had normal hormones and every temptations & physical annoyances that regular human boys/men experience, and He had no ability to participate in romance/sx/marriage bcz that's not at all part of why He came to live among us.
@bonniehill9518
11 ай бұрын
I personally found this video really exhausting to watch. There is no difference in being male or female when you have deep seated fears of reproduction. Actually as a female sex is far more risky as we are the ones who are ultimately responsible for a life if conception out of a sex act were to happen. To hear him pontificating on about life and death is really annoying. As a man he could have kept his God given parts, and still enjoyed his life, but just be responsible. I don't understand this generation. It should be the most educated, but really they are just completely self absorbed to the point of ruining their own life. Its so bizarre.
@alexanderl9721
11 ай бұрын
This is not how I think now. I was recalling my thoughts from my childhood. And I'm not the generation you think i am. And yes, thoughts of a traumatised person can be indeed bizarre. Won't argue with you there.
@bonniehill9518
11 ай бұрын
Thanks for replying and explaining. I do watch a lot of these videos to try and understand to whole transgender issues.
@jen4um
Жыл бұрын
You seem like a deep thinker and a sensitive soul. You remind me of my own son in some ways. I saw another video where you were talking about mortality and associating your male genitalia with death. I just want you to know when you are alone and thinking about your mortality, stop and consider that you were created and didn’t get here by accident. I believe nothing that exists just came here by random chance. To me that’s an impossibility. What is a strong probability is that an intelligent mind actually created you. He gave you your own intelligent mind and your heart as well, and everything you are came from him. I believe God made you. I believe life never ends although this life on earth does end. I believe it ends on earth because as God says, the wages of sin is death. Our corrupted bodies will die, but you are not your body. You are what’s inside, your soul. God will reclaim every soul that leaves this earth, but it’s only in Jesus that you will be with God in the new earth, the kingdom, where there will be no more death, no sin, and no sorrow. You must follow Jesus however. When I say follow Jesus it’s simply this; Jesus is everything good, the ultimates good, the one who modeled the way to the kingdom. It is not hard for me to believe because the fact that I exist at all and the earth is here in all of its complexity, is more than enough evidence for me that God exists. Furthermore, when sin abounds and when sin becomes the norm, order breaks down and chaos grows. It’s evident all around. When a person is righteous as Jesus is righteous, it is a protective shield and order remains. The problem is, the world rejects him and all that he stands for and all that he is. There is a spiritual realm that in my opinion is the real world. We are in the physical but we will not be here permanently. God hates sin and does not want to leave us here in an eternal state of sin and chaos. So we have to die. Jesus took our sin when he laid down his life. Jesus was with God before the world began. He is the exact representation of the father so when we see him we see God. You can see him through his word. He is called the word of God. He is not far from you. If you look up to the heavens, the Father and the son Jesus are beyond the firmament which we can’t see. Don’t believe everything NASA tells you. Seek the Lord, read the Bible, don’t let your mind be deceived by Satan who is the ruler of this world. He wants your soul, he wants all of our souls. He rebelled against God and we don’t know exactly how it transpired because he was in God’s presence before the world began as well. The Bible says now we see through a glass darkly meaning we don’t know all. God gave us a certain amount of revelation for us to use here on earth but some things are hidden from us for now. I felt led to tell you this and I honestly think this came from God to you, not really from me. I didn’t intend to write this to you it just came to me. Take care. Pick up a Bible and read. Read the book of Genesis. Read the book of John. To be honest I have not watched your video here but I watched the video where you were talking to Winston Blair. I immediately got an overwhelming sense I was supposed to reach out to you.
@oceanview211-nh6ri
6 ай бұрын
I transitioned over 15 years ago but haven't had full bottom surgery due to (among other things) the risk of complications. I am still not 100% sure it's been the right choice because of feelings towards my penis similar to the ones you described which have not improved despite trying various things. It makes relationships difficult since most people seem to want a degree of physical intimacy I can't really provide.
@b4ph0m3tdk9
Жыл бұрын
Why are there not more focus on detrans, this so important, to help prevent people to be operated in the first place.
@TheEnigmaProductions
Жыл бұрын
Why did you castrate yourself?
@jodiebird1551
Жыл бұрын
This is all very new to me. Having no mobiles or internet growing up just the Jackie, Fab 208 and a few television channels. No talk anywhere of being gay though some around me possibly were gay. Always wondering who I was growing up and with no social media influence I guess I had to wait until I recognised my authentic self. Recently chatted to a youngster at the bus stop as you do and we got to chat about trans. She said her brother was and when he went to the toiled he found i difficult to look at his penis as he hated it she said. Not out much I saw a tall man looked like he was with wife and children. He was wearing lipstick and a dress and necklace. Post area. Next day out and about less posh area I saw a balding male puffing on a cigarette, he was wearing lippy and a dress. I find it hard to believe that doctors and nurses remove a young person's penis or breasts as that is just causing physical harm to the body, if you believe mind body are united. I know mental health and feeling okay mentally is vital for life but to cause physical harm to the body can cause real harm for the future in many ways. I think young people are influenced by social media. Who benefits Big pharma and big tech.
@sundiepietszak2012
9 ай бұрын
so your a man with female parts . i dont understand why people are so interested in what people have in their pants. be comfortable in your own skin
@alexanderl9721
9 ай бұрын
I wouldn't say I have female parts. Only someone who knows next to nothing about either female parts or those surgeries would say that.
@leslie5139
5 ай бұрын
You're a beautiful soul ❤ just the way you are now.
@gooeyrhubarb1593
Жыл бұрын
I know about itching. In my experience, re lotions, I found the natural ones best, internally and externally, to get the oils in the system, and repair the screaming nerve endings. I have suffered too and my heart is with you. Olive oil, coconut oil, argan oil, goose fat, emu oil. Avoid alcohol, smoke, anything drying. This may be totally wrong advice, but it really helped me (plus lots of vaping herbs! 😉). Go well xxx
@kittyandthekatz8046
11 ай бұрын
You are a wonderful young person. I wish you peace.❤
@visionaryventures12
3 ай бұрын
Your mind is intact. Any instinctive male thoughts are still there. You have XY chromosomes.
@alexanderl9721
3 ай бұрын
That's an interesting take. What would say qualifies as instinctive male thoughts?
@visionaryventures12
3 ай бұрын
@@alexanderl9721 A feeling of physical strength, perhaps. I’m a heterosexual male. I was about to type attraction towards women”, but there are gay men. There’s a narrative science theory called Dramatica which has, as a factor, linear versus holistic. How do you interpret conflict and situations? Do you think linearly with cause and effect, or do you think in terms of relationships amongst things? I have questioned that myself. This is something that the biblical book of Genesis got right. Adam was split into male and female, as if we each have both genders. Whichever one dominates over the other within us. That’s the testosterone and estrogen within each of us. I suppose the testosterone is linked with muscular strength. Thinking instinctively in linearity, cause and effect.
@dfjulesful
Жыл бұрын
Nothing wrong with getting a mental heath diagnosis if you are mental unwell. It can be really helpful.
@Jolanda-bc4yv
Жыл бұрын
Being mentally unwell is not an illness.
@karengayehammat4199
9 ай бұрын
It will take litigation for the depts to stop this practice They take an oath to cause no harm which is broken
@904daniela
10 ай бұрын
I'm heading well towards my 60's. In the 90s it was common to express your individuality by getting tribal tattoos. I still had to show my ID when I got my first tattoo. Do I regret them? Sort of. They were due to a decision that I made decades ago and they no longer represent who I am now. Few young people feel well in their changing bodies - but altering the body before your brain has a chance to catch up... I wish you the best.
@Dee-mj3pu
Жыл бұрын
Are you working with a good therapist?
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
No, never found a good one so I became my own therapist two years ago and my life has transformed from miserable to meaningful.
@glamnesianouveaux2039
Жыл бұрын
@@alexanderl9721 Most people are best being their own therapist. Professional therapists are a waste of time. You are inspirational x
@plurpee.
Жыл бұрын
This is the first time I've ever heard about the internal erection, that's quite an eye-opener... Thank you for your honesty and bravery to speak on this--you have my respect.
@Lucretciela
Жыл бұрын
I, too had never heard of it. Other than it being a phantom type pain, I'm a bit stumped, but I skipped biology quite a bit when I was young.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Almost all of my erectile tissue is still there. Those are not imagined erections or phantom sensations. I get actual erections but this time it's inside of my body rather than outside. It's super uncomfortable.
@sia9907
Жыл бұрын
@@alexanderl9721So was your surgery, and excuse my silly layperson language, the one that turns the penis inside out? And so your neovagina has an erection, in a way? Or am I not understanding? Thanks in advance for your openness.
@roxannerobinson5729
Жыл бұрын
its not real. The penis get turned into a clit. They're lying!
@ashelawrence1233
11 ай бұрын
@alexanderl9721 they should have removed almost all of the erectile tissue with mtf surgery 😕
@cassiel.6918
Жыл бұрын
I wish more people knew there’s such thing as body neutrality. You don’t have to like your body, or feel connected to it. You don’t have to share it with anyone if you don’t want to. Just accept that it is what it is.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
I'm with you there, and this is where I am at this point.
@missdrool
10 ай бұрын
I'm in recovery from an eating disorder and body neutrality is quite helpful for me. I accept I have a body that looks a certain way and the way it looks will change BUT my body allows me to do so many nice things and that's awesome. I get to experience the world, communicate, to live.
@rabbit3212010
10 ай бұрын
@@missdroolthat's beautiful. That was my first reaction to reading your post. You touched my spirit. Thank you for sharing. You're inspirational ❤
@harrypotter-mc1sq
9 ай бұрын
This is a great point. It also doesn't stop people from satisfying romantic lives.
@abbylouise4450
9 ай бұрын
It is a physiological fact that the brain and body are completely interwoven. The brain sends messages to your body (through the spinal cord) for every movement and emotion. Therefore, to be constantly disembodied means you are unable to even breath. Now, without the physical casing that your body provides with the vital organs, (ie heart, lungs) you wouldn't survive beyond conception. I dislike being harsh but it is scientific truth. Hence, if you are uncomfortable in your body lose weight/gain weight/or just grow up. Nobody is perfect. However, your brain and body will always be connected, otherwise you wouldn't exist.
@montezoo317
Жыл бұрын
I’m very sorry about your grandma.💔 Thank you for the video. I wish more young people would see this!
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@threshencrane6355
Жыл бұрын
Your brutal honesty is absolutely incredible to me. I love watching your videos bc it's not bullshit. Thank you so much for talking about the things you do when it seems like most won't. I'm really sorry about your grandma, i know exactly how you feel. I lost mine 5 years ago in pretty much the same fashion as you.. time stopped and for me then. Looking forward to your next video! ♥
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thanks and I'm sorry for your loss.
@ambermchugh9381
Жыл бұрын
I had no idea about these internal post op erections, what a bizarre feeling
@kchart47
Жыл бұрын
The one common pattern I notice when I listen to transitioners and detransitioners is that they spend a whole lot of time thinking of themselves, navel-gazing, overthinking, constantly evaluating they feelings and the status of their minds and body. “I get busy, I get better”😉
@smalltownhomesteadAC
Жыл бұрын
I think society is doing this to people. I’ve noticed the same thing. The education system is always asking kids about who they are, how they feel, what is their identity/sexuality. They cross young peoples personal, mental and sexual boundaries all the time. It’s such am invasion of a child’s personal space. Is it any wonder these young people are so focussed on these things? They are being asked to hyper analyze themselves and tell adults who they are. How could kids know? We used to tell children who they were in simplistic ways, now they are completely lost. What’s my identity, I can’t find my identity! Where’a my marbles, I can’t find my marbles!
@jordanallen3078
11 ай бұрын
Yes and the medical industry has known for decades that obsession of any kind never EVER leads to good health outcomes. But to go thru with medical transition, it literally requires you to obsess, but in a very controlled, one-sided way. In my country doctors are telling parents if they don't [basically] castrate their kids, they will kill themselves. It's literally eugenics, but with a rainbow flag. And I wish more people in the LGBT community gave more a fuck about their own people, than they do about inflating this clearly demented medical industry.
@bryceharper446
10 ай бұрын
We all have something we obsess over sadly some do over their gender. It can be a mind f***. But I can’t wrap my head around cutting off body parts. Lots could go wrong. Doesn’t change your gender only may look different on the outside but the mind is the same with the same issues. Especially as children. I think it’s sad. Life is hard enough- everything he is saying is saying he had/ has things to work out still. Not being a woman. A woman is me.
@OrbSpider
10 ай бұрын
Brain disorders can never be cured with cosmetic surgery.! Taking advantage of these people to make money is sad.
@gsxrlove
8 ай бұрын
Yeah this is what trans people miss about cis people and it's why they have to behave in a cultish manner to justify their views and practices. Cis and gay people don't obsess with themselves to this degree. They just live their lives as they are with the implicit understanding that it's impossible to have a perfect body and be fully satisfied with who you are but that's part of life. Makoing it your mission to rail against that reality prevents you from engaging with life and starts you down a dark path. Anyone fixated on their gender hasn't even begun to scrape the surface of what's meaningful in life and that's the real reason gender mania is so toxic.
@Dfender67
Жыл бұрын
I love the way he talks! He’s so cute and adorable like a old wise philosopher!
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Aww.
@almaconnor9171
Жыл бұрын
It’s hard to believe this is even a topic to discuss. Such young people destroying their bodies before they even reach the age of 21. There should be a few years waiting period. What’s the rush? I’m seeing more and more of these unfortunate young people. Keep what ya got for at least 25 years. Please.
@OrbSpider
10 ай бұрын
Years ago the trend was to have all your teeth pulled out as dentures were the in thing. Then came botox & plastic surgery, now its be the opposite sex. This trend like all will pass as more admit to the horrors they experience.
@user-sk3um7it3s
Ай бұрын
"Waiting period?" This horrific butchery shouldn't be done to anyone, period. You've obviously got several screws loose if you want to cut your dick off and pretend to be the opposite sex/gender.
@christiandpaul2022
4 ай бұрын
When you have the bottom surgery there is no turning back.
@nicolajohnson1887
Ай бұрын
I had srs and I'm happy with that but want to detransition but it's so difficult to find resources for this.
@kpt002
Жыл бұрын
Yes deifinitely you are right about the surgeries. I have listened to a Finnish detransitioner FtMtF and she got all the surgeries done, all her female parts removed about a decade ago and she said that she will no longer want to harm her body in any way, it has gone through so much already. Now she just takes some mild dosage of estrogen to keep all kinds of pains and problems away, since she no more has got any normal hormonal function in her body. So let your body rest and keep on fixing your mind. You will find your way on existing in this world your own way. Mental health and finding balance is the thing number one - for everyone.
@brookerichards9037
Жыл бұрын
Your self awareness is astounding which is only outdone by your candor.What you share needs being heard by so many. Very selfless of you, obviously not an easy foray into your personal life.
@jeannesullivan6154
Жыл бұрын
I had vaginal mesh surgery and it was excruciating and caused horrible problems that took at least three surgeries to fix so I definitely understand why you don’t wish to go through it again for something that doesn’t work.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry to hear that.
@EradicatingTran
Жыл бұрын
Detransitioning is 1 in 300,000,000
@elephantintheroom5678
Жыл бұрын
@@EradicatingTran That's silly. There haven't been 300,000,000 transitioners.
@EradicatingTran
Жыл бұрын
@elephantintheroom5678 1 is 1 too many.
@emberd-l795
Жыл бұрын
@@EradicatingTran No it isn't. Sacrificing a ton of people to protect 1 is lunacy. If you truly felt that way, you would think that literally all medicine should be illegal, as all drugs have side effects, and most have caused death in extremely rare circumstances.
@KaylaBuhdayla
Жыл бұрын
My Uncle Billy, who has a few interviews that are here on youtube, has posted about the pain of realizing that transitioning was not the answer. He had tried to “put it back on,” but that operation failed. It’s truly sad.
@atheistbewildered2987
Жыл бұрын
I think Ive seen him
@KodokunaKarasu
9 ай бұрын
I've seen a couple of his videos, he is such a neat guy. Very sad story though.
@user-rv7ph1jl5y
Жыл бұрын
❤ You've got this! Honest insight and great points about not retraumatizing the body and the mind again for what end? You are on such an incredible journey. So glad you have found acceptance and are clearly moving towards a deeper sense of self actualization. Thats exceptionally hard to do..inspiring for us all!! Best to you on the grief you are experiencing with your grams. Keep talking. She's listening. ❤
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thanks.
@hime273
Жыл бұрын
"She's Listening."...What? Who's listening?
@coleengoodell7523
Жыл бұрын
@@hime273 His grandma.
@hime273
Жыл бұрын
@@coleengoodell7523 Oh...
@Grandma_Jizzzzzzzard
Жыл бұрын
Your attitude is absolutely fantastic. And refreshing!
@elsagrace3893
Жыл бұрын
Huh? I find him seeming to be in a lot of pain, inquisitive but also not really present.
@DSJ275
Жыл бұрын
It’s extremely frustrating that the media refuses to talk about this. Recently I emailed my 3 local TV networks but I’m sure they won’t listen.
@Maybebaby56
Жыл бұрын
Talk about what? The tens of thousands of trans people who have undergone transition and have greatly benefited from medical and mental health assistance they so desperately needed? Are you someone who detransitioned or are you just someone who thinks trans people should not exist?
@gazepskotzs4
Жыл бұрын
Really? I feel like it is constantly in the media.
@Maybebaby56
Жыл бұрын
@@gazepskotzs4 It is, and it's a manufactured issue designed to generate outrage. Saying "This person had gender affirming surgery and they are now very happy" is not very attention-grabbing. People want to hear about tragedies and despair. In fact, the regret rate for gender surgery is less than 1% : "A total of 27 studies, pooling 7928 transgender patients who underwent any type of GAS, were included. The pooled prevalence of regret after GAS was 1% (95% CI
@emberd-l795
Жыл бұрын
@@Maybebaby56 You're right. Gender-affirming surgeries actually have the lowest regret rate of any elective surgeries. Knee and hip replacements have a far higher rate of regret than gender-affirming surgeries.
@dukecity7688
Жыл бұрын
You are correct. This is going to change but not in the near future. It's going to happen when the lawsuits against surgeons who butcher children begin.
@MIOLAZARUS
Жыл бұрын
I love you so much! This is pure art - turning your pain into something beautiful and honest❤
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
❤
@Gargamel19
Жыл бұрын
What you speak of when you talking about associating your penis with death is such a dark thought and should have been addressed, it’s so sad that you went through that. Your sexuality does not define you as a person, we are all multi-demential people and there’s so much more to us all. We are all different and unique and that’s a wonderful thing. Great insight.
@EquippedwithStrength
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your experience. And I’m sorry for your grandma 💜
@valerieeves4557
Жыл бұрын
You are a very multi faceted person, Alexander. We are not our bodies but we are what is contained in them……what I would refer to as our soul combined with our mind or intellect. You have a beautiful soul and an amazing intellect plus a very likeable personality. That is what makes you who you are. We will leave our body some day and that goes for all of us. As an official senior now and a grandmother (a role that I love), I am less concerned with my body and appearance than I was when I was younger. Of course I want to be presentable and also be healthy but the reality is that I don’t look like I did at 21 and never will. There are those who have a difficult time accepting the changes that happen with aging and will spend thousands of dollars on cosmetic surgery trying to maintain the appearance of youth. I feel sorry for them because, in my opinion, it is a shallow way to go through life, pinning all your self worth on your physical body but possibly never developing your inner self. Your strength is in who you are at your core and the honesty with which you share that with others. Continue on your journey with all its up’s and down’s. You are a unique person and there are those of us who very much enjoy your posts whether they be humorous or perhaps somewhat on the darker side. Just continue to be real. As for your comment about good therapists being hard to find, that is not unique to Norway. Here in Canada it is the same. Unfortunately the government has made things worse, as they generally do, by interfering and muzzling the good therapists by putting restrictions on what they can and cannot say. I’m sure you are familiar with the difficulties faced by Dr. Jordan Peterson. I commend him for not backing down but holding his ground against an immense amount of pressure.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. And yes, I am aware. Peterson is an inspiration.
@sofiaeigenmacht3740
Жыл бұрын
Totally agree, warm regards from Israel.
@DJMetzler337
Жыл бұрын
Jordan Peterson is gross. I am sorry that transitioning didn’t go well for you, and I realize that not all detransitioning is not all the same. However, Jordan discredits all trans people. Trans people are valid even if you found you do not identify as such.
@elsagrace3893
Жыл бұрын
I very much am my own body as well as a soul and intellect. Why do you reject your body?
@valerieeves4557
Жыл бұрын
@@elsagrace3893 Have you ever met a person who, by superficial standards, would be considered beautiful, but they are selfish or full of themselves, perhaps narcissistic? You no longer see them as beautiful because true beauty comes from within. Please be kind to Alexander. He is brave enough to share his painful experiences with us and, from what I can observe, is doing his best to understand himself and lead a productive life in spite of mistakes he may have made. Those who call themselves doctors and yet do unnecessary surgeries on vulnerable people for financial gain are the real villains here.
@MarlaMartenson
Жыл бұрын
As I was listening to this video, I thought about all of us being in a human body… A meat suit. And women, especially have such a hard time with aging. For me, I was a very beautiful young woman, I was even a model. And now, in my sixth decade, when I look in the mirror, it is so challenging to embrace my changing face. The wrinkles are hard to see. And so many humans go to drastic measures to try to turn back the clock. So, there are many ways that the discomfort of being in our skin can emerge. And definitely seeing a body becoming more and more wrinkled, reminds us that we are edging closer to the inevitable, our own death. 💀
@Lisa-mw6te
11 ай бұрын
I'm 66. Feel the same.
@tetasnuttyworld6203
14 күн бұрын
Oh, I totally agree with you . I'm 59 plus 1. I used to be pretty. I feel so ugly now
@elephantintheroom5678
Жыл бұрын
I feel for you, Alexander. My niece almost went down the hormones and surgery path, but she eventually decided to just be herself, which was great in my opinion, because I've always thought she is fabulous, and I love her. Peace.
@TheReluctantVlogger
Жыл бұрын
I appreciate your honesty more than I can express. I appreciate your story and from everything I’ve gathered from listening to you, I feel that you are an extremely special individual.
@lorithompson9166
9 ай бұрын
It’s a good thing you didn’t hate your feet or your hands. Best wishes to you as you transition through life. You are not alone.
@whatdoyoulivefor735
Жыл бұрын
Are you a stoic? I love your manner of thinking about and accepting reality.
@jtg3765
Жыл бұрын
Having lost one's genitals, reconstruction would only still be a make believe, plus medical risks/consequences. If I were led into the celibate life of a contemplative, philosopher, writer, artist, filmographer, whatever (as I am anyway with a penis), I could be content with the lack of it. But, I didn't realize the "internal" erection experience (maybe could become an honest reminder of what was - the feeling of it), until listening to this post. Still, one ultimately needs to accept what is (don't go back to living a lie as a trans woman - you are such an authentic and real person as you are now). There's a vocation and a call in it - here, at the education, service, and valuable experience to enlighten others (what a great act of love to the masses). This is the amazing beauty that I find in Alex (empathizing with his agonizing pains and amazing heroic progress intrapersonally, as well), and I think that any future partner would latch onto this quality - not what is not between the legs. Yes, having balls can be a bitch, too!
@DorianPaige00
Жыл бұрын
Do you categorically think living as a transwomen is a lie?
@jtg3765
Жыл бұрын
@@DorianPaige00 Not a lie to one's inner dysphoric psyche or phantasm, but a lie in reality. I've lived this all my own life. I'm not coming from the outside on this struggle.
@DorianPaige00
Жыл бұрын
@@jtg3765 So you feel you were a liar when you were presenting as the other gender even when you were doing it? What do people need to see or not see? Is taking hormones creating a lie? I take estrogen to hold on to my natal male youthful features and I don't apologize for it. What is wrong with that? Is there a lie there? Do I need to paint a picture of my genitals on top of my forehead or tattoo my age up there?
@Jolanda-bc4yv
Жыл бұрын
Living as a "transwoman" is a lie. "Transwomen" are men. @@DorianPaige00
@Grandma_Jizzzzzzzard
Жыл бұрын
In terms of finding a good therapist who actually listens, I’ve had MUCH better luck with social workers than psychologists or, especially, psychiatrists. Social workers generally listen and offer solid advice. 👍
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
You're not wrong there.
@dreimalnein22
Жыл бұрын
Depends on culture and individuals, but thank you for this inspiring observation.
@Gingerblaze
Жыл бұрын
@@dreimalnein22 very much location specific. In many countries, public service social workers are required to only offer an affirming opinion by policy. Any questioning is (wrongly) considered an attempt at "conversion" or "transphobic"
@Grandma_Jizzzzzzzard
Жыл бұрын
@@Gingerblaze at least they don’t drug their patients
@kevinm4157
Жыл бұрын
@@Grandma_JizzzzzzzardNeither do psychologists. I'm quite leery of psychiatrists though!
@357QueenBee
Жыл бұрын
I think you are helping people more than you might know. Wishing you the best. Sorry for your loss. I lost my grandma and I get it.
@lotusstar347
Жыл бұрын
Dear Alexander, I have worked as a teacher with adolescent men and women and, all I can say is that I saw many young men and some women like you: deeply thoughtful, intelligent and not in love with truth. The truth being that, when you think of it, the whole eating, reproducing and all the games we are called upon to play can make the more sensitive among us to just revolt, if not just outright throw up. Most of us go through life in a hypnotic state, following the herd. But, there are those, like you, who get incredibly bummed by the sheer grossness, the very monstrousness of birth, life, death...blah, blah blah. Some cannot accept "the way life is" and "on its own terms." Some kids get so depressed, they opt for suicide. You, however, are turning, as in a dream, to face the monster that life is. You are facing it and sharing your hero's journey. I do not say this lightly. You have chosen the left hand path, the road not taken and we are all growing, as humans, as we accompany you on your chosen path. Keep talking, Alexander, we are here. Teach us what you have to teach us. My dear, your courage makes me weep. I am enlightened by the lamp you are carrying into the darkest places. We need you. Continue to hold forth. Tell us what you see on this journey to the center of the human soul.
@Nortongroove
Жыл бұрын
Your perspective on humans as our Creator made us is fatalist, and I hope no one listens to your warped pessimistic views,as they surely encourage a climate of depression and futility in those who are already prone to these feelings.
@greenbeans575
Жыл бұрын
I had the opposite reaction to your comment than did Mo. I thought as I read your assessment and encouragement for Alexander, "what a awesome counselor lotusstar must be"! You are the most compassionate and caring soul and I love how you offered this individual such realistic yet positive feedback. Only another sensitive being would likely share your observant and insightful response. My suggestion to Alex would be to practice meditation on a regular basis (without fail) as it would surely calm some of the restlessness being experienced. It clears the mind and allows for more balanced responses to life'schallenges. I will make this suggestion hoping that Alexander may see it. In any event, please keep up with your desire to offer counseling and advice to our youth. You seem very intelligent and grounded, by the way. Thank you and bless you for what you are doing!
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Greenbeans575 I am meditating. I made a video about it some time ago. It's called "There is hope after detransition".
@clouds-rb9xt
Жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry for what happened to you.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thank you and it's ok. What happened happened.
@manchitas3531
Жыл бұрын
I hope this craze ends soon. No more mutilations of our youth! While I am glad none of this nonsense existed when I was growing up a tomboyish girl in the 1980s, I am terribly sorry about modern trends that mutilate and castrate our youth. I to would have probably joined it only to realize decades later that it was never a crime to not fit into a girly girl mold. To be adventurous and tomboyish... It is OK to be different and accept what nature gave you. This poor, poor being sounds like he has mental and emotional issues that should have been addressed before considering mutilation to deal with gender dysphoria
@user-ls3rv8gq3p
Жыл бұрын
I think more people should knew about detrans processing before their body modifications. If trans person commite suicide it is also someway a detrans
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
I mentioned in one of my other videos that we will never know how many of trans people who took their own life did so because of regret.
@oceanaoushn8803
Жыл бұрын
@@alexanderl9721he way you speak of your experience contributes to better understanding of what a person goes through. I am rather curious and I would love to know how so called mainstream media - in different countries -talk about all this. I guess that even that can contribute to a certain hostility which "other" people may feel toward trans people. How is that? Simply speaking of national health insurance. Interestingly the insurance may "volunteer" (bound by law) to cover certain TRANSITION procedures, at same time refusing to cover some more important .at times.. vitally important med.treatment for "other" people However, it seems that once transitioned, even at expense of the national insurance, that person will be flatly rejected at the very mention of DE-TRANSITIONING. And then newspapers "inform" the general public about that in a way: In the UK a man who transitioned into a woman now demands from the NHS to cover the costs of switching back to man Incorrect and unfair, because the person with serious health issues is presented as spoilt brat who keeps bothering others to pay for his/hers/whoever's whims. It is NEVER explained what damage those surgeries inflict on those people. That some of them are literally desperate to be "patched up". To stop "leaking" in public ..to get away from pain and the rest. At times the conclusion is: "They got what they asked for " No! What they were promised was so rosy and light.
@fionnaaragazza7777
Жыл бұрын
People not feeling well is not just a trans issue.
@L_Martin
Жыл бұрын
RE: roadtrips, I don't know if you have already tried this and it didn't work, but there is a thing you can buy called the "shewee" which is like a cup and funnel thing. I use that when camping sometimes, you can pee standing up. Perhaps it might help you on road trips.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Worth trying. Thanks.
@ninakamenic3679
Жыл бұрын
I feel so sorry for these people. I've never in my life had a thought along the lines "oh I don't want this part of my body". Nobody can convince me that this is not a mental or even spiritual illness. The fact that vulnerable people who are struggling with this are being mutilated and money is being earned off their pain is absolutely barbaric.
@IChIDH
Жыл бұрын
They finally found a way to monetize the natural confusion about puberty that all children feel.
@ΜαρίαΚοκόση-ε8δ
Жыл бұрын
Actually it's not a mental disorder but a mental allergic reaction...towards sexual parts of your body...a kind of dysanexia
@ninakamenic3679
Жыл бұрын
@@ΜαρίαΚοκόση-ε8δ it's a disorder, honey.
@tanyagriffin9284
Жыл бұрын
Body integrity disorder is ppl born healthy reject it & become amputees. Both r mental disorders n is why they go to a PSYCHIATRIST to get evaluated. Former psychiatric MED ASST
@jenn2597
5 ай бұрын
I’m am so sorry you weren’t protected, and they did this to you. It hurts my heart!
@somersetdc
2 ай бұрын
Thank you for your honesty. This is so sad. People are not automobiles. You can't just hack off parts or tack them back on. How did this craziness ever become mainstream? I wish you the very best my friend. I hope you will find happiness. My condolences to you on the passing of your grandmother.
@M-M-EXTRA
Жыл бұрын
this sounds like some serious mental issues. no perhapses, no probabals, no maybes!
@kiki_lala22
Жыл бұрын
Alex, you are so intelligent and articulate. I admire your courage and honesty. God bless ❤
@kuzia98
Жыл бұрын
I am sorry for what you have gone through and what you are experiencing now, thank you for your honesty. I wish stories like yours were shared more in the mainstream media as only the positives are shared. I am a cis female and have never felt disassociated from my body, I can only imagine how difficult it is to not feel comfortable in your skin. I am very familiar with the uselessness of mainstream medicine though, I got very tired of medications being pushed instead of doctors trying to root cause my issues. I have moved away from mainstream medicine and look at more holistic approaches where practitioners look at your entire organism, not just your symptoms and this has really helped. Also, meditation helps a lot, especially with tying to better understand yourself. I hope that one day you will look past the association of your body being a reminder of your short time on this planet. Yes, our bodies are small temporary biological shells, but our souls are limitless that will go on to experience other things after this current body expires, Our souls are who we are, they are our true expression, our bodies are mere vessels to house them here temporarily. (and no, I have never been religious/or followed any faith :) )
@radubradu
Жыл бұрын
First of all, you didn't have bottom surgery, you had amputation/mutulation surgery. Secondly, if you don't miss having a whole, healthy body and a functional essential organ, you still are very much mentally unwell.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Tomato-tomah-to. I have stated on multiple occasions that I consider those surgeries as mutilation but that term alone says very little about the nature of the procedure. For that reason we operate with (Pun intended) terms like bottom surgery or penile inversion surgery so we can be precise about what the surgery entails. I am at peace and I think that contributes to my mental wellbeing.
@leslie5139
5 ай бұрын
I agree with you Alexander ❤
@rhiclay4696
Жыл бұрын
I meant to comment on this earlier. My sincere condolences on the loss of your grandmother🙏❤.
@lrockbr
Жыл бұрын
There has to have been some underlying trauma in your childhood, correct? To look at ones sexual organs and think of being an animal and death--and to cut it off--is just sorrowful. Our bodies are what we experience life through. Yes, they will decay and die eventually, but they are a part of us, they are a gift and it is only us who can nurture them as adults. Very sad for you. Try to contact Benjamín Boyce as he does podcasts with de-transitioners.
@Christian-qu9ml
Жыл бұрын
It is very strange, imo. Deep psychological issues that need to be remedied. I have never heard anything like it! 😢
@ericbritton8146
Жыл бұрын
As the man (Gen 1:26-28) KJV, a husband (Gen 2:21-25) and a father (Gen 3:16), the minister of God (Rom 13), teacher (Eph 4) and one of the survivors who was bullied in school, there is absolutely no such thing as transgender. However, there is a such thing as an individual who is in a trance, also referred to as hypnotized. The word "gender" is not a noun or a pronoun. The word "gender" is a verb that is only used regarding cattle. (Lev 19:19) When cattle is allowed to gender with a diverse kind, their offspring are beast. Examples: If a jack, which is a he ass is allowed to gender with a mare, which a female horse, their offspring is a mule. A mule is not cattle. A mule is actually beast. If a jenny, which is a she ass is allowed to gender with a stallion, which is a male horse, their offspring is a hinny. A hinny is not cattle. A hinny is actually beast. Mules and hinnies are both referred to as F1 hybrids, which is the abbreviation for first generation hybrids. Unlike horses and asses, mules and hinnies are generally sterile meaning they are not able to reproduce. Now the asses, the mules and the hinnies can all be ridden, but do not expect any of them to move like a horse. Beast and cattle domain is outside, not inside. (Gen 2:19-20) I personally recommend everyone to simply stop listening to Norman Bates (Deut 22:5), Sylvester the "You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)" diva (Lev 18:21-30) and Alexis Arquette. "Sleepaway Camp" (1983) has been happening for a very long time and is still happening. I have lost friends to this deception and it still hurts. I was telling my wife, I can not teach the word of God, then live contrary to the word of God. The would make me a hypocrite. That is not a good title to have. Eph 5:22-33, 6:1-4
@wildlifegardenssydney7492
Жыл бұрын
I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandmother.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@jan75643
Жыл бұрын
I totally relate to your hatred of your male sex. I have no regrets about getting srs. My surgery has no post op complications that you suffer. I went to montreal in 2000. Maybe there's some corrections that might relieve the itching and or pain.Thx for sharing.I think you're a good guy! Mfm..🌾
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thank you. I'm glad you didn't have any complications.
@weareone5768
Жыл бұрын
That’s super interesting I wanna thank u for making this video. I have had fixations on male genitals ever since I was a little girl, which led to me believing I had gender dysphoria (I think I do somewhat, but it has plenty of causes). So..super interesting to me that you, a biological male, felt uncomfortable having a penis. Thank u for sharing!!! Genuinely. I have a difficult relationship w my body in the sexual regard as well. I just think your thoughts are so interesting. Thank you again! Sending well wishes about your family member💗🫂
@galatea742
11 ай бұрын
On the front of not being able to pee standing up, I am a biological woman and I’m very active and like hiking and travelling, so face a lot of the problems that you mentioned. I actually bought myself something called a “shewee” which allows me to pee standing up, which is perfect for road trips, hiking, public bathrooms etc. It’s basically just a silicone or plastic funnel/tube, so it’s not trying to simulate having or look like male parts but just allows women or people with internal parts to pee standing up! My one comes with a case and is nice and discrete in my bag. There are lots of similar products and I’d definitely recommend looking into them. I know this would be difficult on an emotional level too but devices like this can help with this practical problem at least. Thank you for sharing your story with us ❤
@bonniecaudill1264
Жыл бұрын
Much love Alexander, much love
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
😀
@blackheartbev3098
Жыл бұрын
I’m mtf trans, passable, been living this way over a decade, and have had every cosmetic surgery but SRS. I’m so glad I never got this, cause I hear HORROR stories! The upkeep is awful, it doesn’t self exfoliate, so the stench that can build up is utterly disgusting, and the chance to never orgasm again. Thank god my dysphoria was waist up. Still, I’m very sorry you went through this hun, I hope you’re happier now that everything has settled, and time has passed. Take care 💕
@megsley
9 ай бұрын
I can't imagine ever willingly risking my ability to urinate normally.
@blackheartbev3098
9 ай бұрын
@@megsleyOnly surgery I'll do down there is GRS.
@runningraven
Жыл бұрын
I hope you reach a place where it's easier to ignore what happened. Just a freaking life...
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thanks. I already did as much as i possibly can. Life is good.
@Genarii
Жыл бұрын
Maybe those asking the "do you want it back" question don't realize that phalloplasty is a very poor substitute for a real penis. But, perhaps this person cannot ever truly feel comfortable with a penis now, but had they had therapy while still having a penis and learned to feel comfortable with it they could have done.
@shimmers
Жыл бұрын
So sorry you found yourself in a situation like this . Seeking internal peace and validation then being abused by the system .
@877swissmiss
Жыл бұрын
You are a man. PERIOD! A reconstruction wouldn‘t feel anything like the original& the risks would be huge anyway and if you‘re fine the way you are, that‘s the best and healthiest you can be:) ( that’s what I think anyway) Why should you be less a man now? You have always been one and will always be, with or without p, with or without g dysphoria. All the best and thanks for your insight! I also have some similar ( weird?) association w sex to be honest although I didn‘t have any „modification“ like you (sex organs). Maybe it‘s from trauma, I don‘t know but I can relate to that feeling you talked about but never heard anyone else talking about that. I hope your pain will become less with time. There are special devices for women to stand peeing on hikes, maybe that would be an option? Maybe that at least helps a bit to not have the u.flow/dribble down your legs? How about you becoming one of the good therapists of Norway? No idea if you would like to but I could imagine you being one. You sure have more insight than many therapists I know.. But yes, you‘d have to go „by the books“ first for many years while studying;)
@Frugality
Жыл бұрын
My condolences regarding your grandmother ❤❤💐🥀
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@sherman3567
Жыл бұрын
Around the 7 min mark you say "so for me I've always associated private parts and sex with death". This is a nihilistic view it's not wrong, we are mortal after all. The counter or positive view is that sex is the beginning to new life. I have also suffered from nihilism, I not sure if you ever get away from it. Strong willpower is not a fix, but is probably necessary to not be controlled by nihilism and other negative thoughts. Then you have a difficult question to answer. How do you have strong willpower, when you think everything is pointless? Best of luck to everyone.
@alexanderl9721
Жыл бұрын
Oh i haven't been a nihilist for a long time now. I don't think life is pointless. I wouldn't be doing what i'm doing if that was the case. But sex is still freaking me out and i think it most likely always will at this point. Anyway, thanks for your comment.
@bestany5517
Жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry about the loss of your Grandma. ❤
@stuff1784
Жыл бұрын
I totally get why you wouldn’t want a “reconstruction” done. That would only be more trauma to your body. You’ve been through though already.
@TopHatNat
Жыл бұрын
"It's been 9 years, 3 months and five days living without a penis", but who's counting??!!!
@anantea
8 ай бұрын
If it is any consolation, women also often pee their legs. It is not uncommon for women not be able to pee straight down for various reasons including anatomy of her labias or unusual position of urinary tract or simply imbalance of muscles of pelvic floor. We just never really talk about it.
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