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My neighbors directly across the street from me had a mother named Lois. She was kind, gracious, poised and dutiful. She lost her husband in the 70s in a helicopter crash. He went solo. Don't remember if he built it himself. He was really old school that way. If I recall, he and my father got along. Both men were salt of the earth European men who did things with there hands and got things done. They were disciplined. I didn't know how to send condolences as a kid plus, we were an odd immigrant religious group that didn't really know connect to the outside world that well. The son and daughter were regular fixtures on the block and we all go to know one another quite well. They were cool people.
Times changed and people changed in a way that worked for us all. Once we got to know one another, familiarity set it and we were all kind of the same people in a way. Lois managed the airplane and helicopter windshield business her husband owned. We saw her less and less and she eventually moved closer to the area of the building where they fabricated. She was devout to her faith and was a engaged with her kids in PTA etc in their upbringing.
Life got busy for me and my other siblings. We went through high school, we were doing our own thing, I went off to college and decided to stay in San Diego. I lost track of a few people but social media allowed many of us to reconnect. Gen X has enjoyed lots of that reconnection. I stopped by the windshield shop a few times and got to see a few neighborhood faces that worked with them. That was great.
Times changed again, mind shifts happened and focuses on new directions in life take one to different roads filled with new sights, sounds and thinking.
I see on Facebook by Mark & Lori's daughter that Lois had passed and the funeral was set for today's date. I loved this lady and wanted to be a part of the celebration of life and to send my warmest and sincerest regards to the family and Lois herself.
I drive about an hour and 20 minutes to get there before the funeral starts. It's Wednesday morning so many working people who knew her weren't going to take the day off to show up. It's not out of disrespect but economics. I hug a few people and approach the casket. Lois has lost some weight, considerably, but she was 91 and thought this is what happens when we got older. I see photos among the flowers and wreaths and think to myself, oh she remarried and lived a happy life. Great. A 2nd happy marriage gave her some zest in life that's why I didn't recognize her the photos. The family spoke as the facilitator of the funeral home navigated the services. Asked if anyone wanted to speak. I stood up immediately and walked towards the casket, turned to the audience and began to speak. In sharing my appreciation for this gracious lady, I opened up on how she was kind, gracious and often had sweet words to say. At one moment, I was about to choke up, but I stopped myself. Shared that I found her strength and stoicism raising 2 children and running a taking over the business of her deceased husband was more than noble, but that she did it on her own. I was proud of her. She was strength, ingenuity and perseverance all together. She had a strong faith in her Christianity and let her faith be her guide. I finished up by offering my deepest condolences to all her loved ones. Then I turned to her in the casket and said "May you rest in peace gracious lady".
Sat down and a few other folks came up to speak. The funeral ended and we all went outside preparing to cross the street for the final burial. I walked up to Mark and gave him a hug. He said "thanks for coming but I gotta let you know, that my mom died 2 years ago and that's my mother in law. They had the same name".
I gave a eulogy to someone I never met in my life thinking it was somebody else. We all had a laugh because that's how life is; a path of uncertainty sometimes.
I looked around saying to myself; "what was I thinking?.....Lois didn't have that many grand kids. She only had 2 kids and those kids only had a couple of kids too".
Then, I realized that the lady in the casket didn't even look like the Lois I remember.
At the reception thereafter, we all shared in a nice meal. I sang another song, overlooked the Orange County basin from the beautiful Orange Hill restaurant. We all go to catch up in times we've lost and recall many memories of our days in Hawthorne CA in the 70s and 80s.
I had to head home to San Diego and wanted to beat traffic. Said my good byes and left it with "well, I'm off to another funeral. Someone named Lois passed away".
Негізгі бет Музыка Did a eulogy today for someone I thought was somebody else.
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