Every time I think I was responsible in any way for any particular thing I watch this video and apply it to what i'm thinking, and every time i've felt 100 times better. Thank you Samuel.
@lilytoh3580
4 жыл бұрын
The unfaithful spouse's infidelity is like a heavy weight on the chest, causing a suffocation each time the realisation of betrayal of the one u love comes into one's mind. It is so devastating, the unfaithful spouse may just as well have strangulated the betrayed. Is is so hard to breathe.
@buffuniballer
Жыл бұрын
I've described it as choosing to go nuclear in a conventional war. No matter what the conflicts were before your spouse cheats, once she chooses to betray you, that's the number one issue in the conflict. She's gone nuclear in what was a conventional war.
@jayt6200
2 жыл бұрын
I absolutely love the honesty sam gives. I wish my spouse had that
@bonniecleveland3470
2 жыл бұрын
I've been with my husband for 41 years. 35 of it married. My entire life with him he has dished out bouts of verbal abuse. Every time my heart would set the last hurtful vicious thing aside & trust him; it would happen again. These remarks remained on my like wounds. In my 40th year of marriage I took comfort from another. I take responsibility for what I did & feel awful I transferred my pain to him. I also feel responsible for allowing him to treat me badly for so many years.
@charlesdwilson2112
5 жыл бұрын
The answer. "NO". Yet as a betrayed you question everything you did up to the affair. The affair partner made all the choices in the end. Not you the betrayed. Being a betrayed spouse (33+ years of marriage) I found out about my partners affair the hard way. She had the choice to not ask the other out for lunch. She had the choice to reach or not reach for the others hand. She had the choice to not have the sexual affair. I suffered with this for 3 months yet in the end it all boiled down to my spouse made bad choices to do what she did. Still in the fight and holding tight. But at the same time I am still looking over my shoulder and yes you can say I am gun shy now but as a veteran you never back down from the fight you reevaluate the situation and adjust. Salute 07
@samshealingpodcast
5 жыл бұрын
thanks for sharing Charles.
@vida130
5 жыл бұрын
Adapt and overcome!
@charlesdwilson2112
5 жыл бұрын
@@vida130 You know it. 6 months in and getting my sh*t together. My main focus now is me and my health. My disability takes a lot from me daily and I thought it was the fight of all fights. God is good and kept me straight. I even thought about the 22 A Day list and eating the 223 or 556. God told me no and guided me in the right direction. Salute 07
@dianestafford6968
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing
@DeconTheMonkey
5 жыл бұрын
Im a betrayed and thankful for ur insight. My experience is fresh as a betrayed married for 6years and my wife had an affair that took half of our marriage years away. I have felt shame on my part because as a pastor i thought that i had a really good marriage and always thought that my wife was happy in the marriage until i found out last month. I often beat myself up with guilt thinking i should have been this and that and more attentive to have played the part in pushing my wife away. But now realize that there is a fine line between owning up my own weaknesses to taking blame in driving my wife into that direction. I can say now just almost two months in to have better perspective on that. I am able to own up on my weaknesses and want to be better but in a way not to beat myself senseless with guilt.
@Jesse2188
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for making these videos. They have tremendously helped save my marriage.
@samshealingpodcast
5 жыл бұрын
so glad I could help. it's an honor jesse.
@susiebennington5482
Жыл бұрын
Here’s my problem, when I do try to talk to my spouse who was unfaithful, all he does is think that I am pointing the finger at him. He thinks that I am blaming him for everything. He pulls the card of you don’t ever take any accountability for yourself. I am left with feeling like any conversation that I start, he is going to think that I am blaming him. I don’t know how to do the no contact, because I have tried that and it doesn’t seem to make a difference. He’s not giving me any answers.
@adllau9695
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your video blog that the betrayed is not the cause of infidelity. True that as an adult we all have choices to make in life, knowing all the facts that the unfaithful is married, with children, and aware of.the consequences of infidelity, but still choose to have an affair, it is his decision and he should have admit it or just humble himself and.say.sorry. but the thing is bec of pride the unfaithful is kept on denying it.. how can you make him.admit his infidelity?
@samshealingpodcast
5 жыл бұрын
hi there. I'm sorry I don't seem to follow. has he admitted he's cheated? can you clarify your question?
@LisaCulton
2 жыл бұрын
The simple answer is: Yes, you contributed a lot to the situation.
@daisymay65
5 жыл бұрын
I cheated and take accountability for my actions. My husband knew we needed help in our relationship , I sought help for years without the support of my husband. A marriage cannot work if one party is making it work. I had to do the brunt of the work while my husband passively watched on the side lines. I chose to cheat. My husband chose in so many ways to neglect me and our relationship. If your spouse asks for help and shows you for years that they’d do whatever needed to make the relationship work, don’t shit on them. Realize that person who is begging for you might not be able to hold on much longer. Making your spouse suffer in silence is a great way to open the door to an affair.
@suzee2
4 жыл бұрын
Nicole Catalano -You are so right. It’s very hard to be ignored and never given any consideration for your own needs and wants. Mine told me 16 years ago that I’d never have to move again after changing jobs so often that I was burned out from starting over...and then 2 years ago he left me to pack up, left me disabled and distraught, went sailing off to a new job in a different state. I’m not a cheater. Being with only one man since I was 16 and spending my 45th anniversary alone while he’s off chasing his dream? I had no idea the person who had worked for us for 15 years had been waiting for exactly this time...me all alone, needing help, needing someone ...Of course I own the blame. Cheating is a bad option and I thought I was immune to temptation, but wow. Given my hopeless feelings of abandonment, I understand now how this can just happen. I think cheating is wrong, but I think ignoring the needs of your spouse is also wrong. I’m six months past the infidelity, living in a place I hate with a spouse I no longer respect. It has been so stressful that I’ve thought the stress would kill me. Wished it would, almost. I’m sorry you went through this. I’m sorry for any person in this type of one-side’s relationship. You keep trying to make it work...sometimes you break under the pressure, I guess. We are only human, after all, and we crave being adored by someone. It’s a cautionary tale for any spouse who is not giving back the love and attention their wife or husband needs. Bad things happen when a marriage partner is ignored. Peace be with you.
@korndog81
3 жыл бұрын
This is so my life right now. I keep asking my wife to come to counseling with me so we both can improve ourselves. She keeps shooting it down. I fear its over, all I can do is pray.
@julietauber6330
4 жыл бұрын
These are the EXACT words I needed to hear tonight!!! Praising GOD for putting this in my top suggestions when I opened up the app. It's like a sign and He really is watching over us. I shared with my spouse and hopefully something that you said will click and I will not be blamed for his decisions going forward. Was I perfect before he decided to do whatever it is that he has done? No. I am human and I have made my fair share of mistakes in our relationship. The thing is, I have been trying to work on myself and fix my faults as much as possible to help improve myself individually and our relationship. I have owned my mistakes and still I get blamed for his choices. I love him and want our relationship to work and be the best thing ever. *I am not responsible for his actions* THANK YOU for sharing this!!!!!!!!!
@LutherPittman
2 жыл бұрын
I believe that the state of the marriage should not be mentioned if the unfaithful chose to cheat regardless the state of the marriage. Though we explain things to separate the 2, i think it stays in the mind of the unfaithful and people outside looking in. That's all they mostly see. When marriage and any relationship are difficult. It is just crazy to me how we treat people with respect at the job, no matter how the kids act we still show them love affection and time, our parents can be overbearing at times but we respect them because that's dad and mom, but when it comes to marriage we can have a difficult time like everything else that comes with life and the unfaithful will decide willingly to cheat and do things, despite the hurt and dangers it can bring, with someone else. I know the psychology in the behaviour(s), but i could never understand hurting someone you say love in this way. Why not just leave if you're unhappy? Though i don't lean to divorce, but that is much better than cheating. Cheating while you're still living, sleeping, and some still being intimate with the very person you're building walls to justify breaking vows. Help it make sense?
@ebest1338
Жыл бұрын
@LutherPittman You're saying exactly what I am thinking as you speak about the way the kids, work colleagues and parents are respected and treated. To our families, our friends and church the marriage looked happy. At least that's what I think. Perhaps some of his friends knew otherwise. For sure to his secret friends they knew. I guess I will never know. Seems I am the one who had to find out now (we're 2 years into counseling) about the many affairs. I felt for years like I couldn't say how uncomfortable I felt about anything that bothered me. I was put in my place, told I was jealous, want to control, don't want him to have friends (yet he has more secret friends than one can imagine), I was this or that. Now some of it has come out, I am told I wasn't paying enough attention or sex, hard to talk with, not interested in him and lots more including not being caring but was a dutiful wife. It's so hard to believe that I was still being given gifts at birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, mother's day and he was still being physically intimate with me all while he was having his sexual and emotional affairs. He didn't stop saying he loved me yet he was constantly cheating. I was trusting and didn't know what was going on under my nose. As you said, why not leave if you're unhappy and not feeling fulfilled. Why cheat? Why say you love me, I'm your best friend yet you're cheating? Why hurt the very person you promised to protect, etc? No, it doesn't make sense. May us the betrayed find ourselves again and find peace 🙏
@shelleyrichards1146
5 жыл бұрын
It’s especially hard when you are betrayed by your spouse with a much younger woman. He keeps saying it had nothing to do with me, that it is all him. Don’t they all say that??
@samshealingpodcast
5 жыл бұрын
hi Ky, they actually don't all say that, but many do. it's so hard to believe that. you probably won't be able to grasp that truth without expert help and without expert insight. have you been able to find any help that can support you and take you through a process to heal? have you looked at our ems weekend or online courses? you're going to need that my friend.
@raefletcher8429
5 жыл бұрын
I have struggled with this, too. But this is an addiction, in our case, and this is what I have come to understand: it wasn't me, it wasn't even the other women! It was the release of certain chemicals in the brain that he was addicted to. To make an analogy, consider Alcoholism. Alcoholics don't drink because they're thirsty. They drink for the effect....to get drunk, to j numb feelings and to experience freedom and escape from whatever reality they don't have the skill set to handle. It's the chemical release that occurs in the brain that makes them drink again and again, the endless search for that perfect "high.". It's the same with sex addiction. It's not about a need for more sex, or some failing on anyone else's part. Its not even anything about the other woman. It's the chase for the brain chemicals that give them the illusion of escape. And it *is* an illusion.
@buffuniballer
Жыл бұрын
nope, sometimes the betrayed tell you that they cheated on you with the other man because you didn't love them, or that you cannot ever learn to love them, so they are throwing you away to be with their soulmate.
@jhn146A
5 жыл бұрын
Great session. State of the marriage is one thing, but the fault is on the one who committed the adultery. But we should never forget the enemy's role. The great deceiver, the father of all lies.
@AL_FARID_23
5 жыл бұрын
Tony Lynam yes my friend thank you for this
@ruthesparza4888
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for posting this!! Everyone kept saying I did something for him to have the affairs. I tried to get help for us and he refused it. We are no longer together but we do try to coparent.
@samshealingpodcast
5 жыл бұрын
thank you for sharing Ruth. I'm sorry for the pain you've gone through my friend.
@Sunflower-kz3no
5 жыл бұрын
That is very true! I’ve always thought it was me that caused my H to have affairs. People (world view) truly believe if you’re separated, you are free to date... and that’s not right. Thank you Affair Recovery.
@kitkit5515
3 жыл бұрын
It’s excruciating when you are betrayed while you are going through chemotherapy. Talk about magnifying hurt x a billion 😩😭😫😡
@willparker3235
2 жыл бұрын
I, too, was abandoned during cancer treatment. After thirteen years together, eleven years married, I came home to find a note on the table and my wife gone. When I left the house that morning she gave me a hug and kiss and told me to have a good day, I love you. She took our daughter 1600 miles away and moved right in with another man. Devastating..
@kkrr3513
5 жыл бұрын
a million thank you! i needed this. i’m not perfect,but then who is ? i wish AR would do a world tour seminar . I hope you and Samantha will have a wonderful christmas 🎄 regards to Rick and his family too..god bless you all 🌈
@samshealingpodcast
5 жыл бұрын
thank you so much my friend. appreciate the kind words. merry christmas to you too.
@saintejeannedarc9460
2 жыл бұрын
I'm very concerned that he still has the attitude, over 6 mths in that it was our relationship that was so bad that caused him to cheat. He admitted he still feels sentimental to her because he got what he needed at the time - lots of attention in an emotional affair. Tons of phone and hanging out. He recently drove to see if she'd showed up at a church service she chased us out of. Won't even admit it's a slip. Thinks he's fully entitled to see if the coast is clear, for us. Even claimed it was altruistic reasons. Doesn't want to get that zero contact means, above all, never go looking for her, for any reason.
@jlirwin1
5 жыл бұрын
What about reactive abuse and taking responsibility? When the unfaithful wants an apology for your reactions to gaslighting, blameshifting, stonewalling, trickle truth, silent treatments and lying? I found that this wasn’t just with the affair but throughout our marriage and my partner wants to address the issues of being controlling and abusive. The reality is that my partner was hiding financial information and when I brought up the red flags then it was deflected. When I mentioned the phone usage, I was put back in my place. When I mentioned the excessive shopping, I was put back in my place. For 20 years I was told that I was controlling and jealous and over analyzing things. Then I discovered the infidelity and now here we are talking about my controlling behaviors and that I need to work on them. I feel like to apologize for being manipulated is another manipulation and the real issue isn’t me but the years of deflection. Now my anger is the issue. My “trauma” is the issue. Just never ends. Now that I can’t take responsibility for my behavior is the sticking point when the reality is, I was reacting to boundaries that were being broken and when I brought them up, I was being gaslite and told I was being controlling. Now I have to take responsibility for my controlling behavior in the marriage? If I don’t then I am told that if I can’t take responsibility for my own behaviors then why should she be vulnerable and open up? Is this crazy?
@samshealingpodcast
5 жыл бұрын
j man...it's a tactic of the unf to get the focus off them and on to you. it's about deflecting. it's also about subtly or not so subtly (obviously) blaming you for their choices. all that you've been subjected to is wrong....this is not the 'most common scenario' and is probably more like in the 20% of intense difficulty. the reality is, their actions are well beyond the scope of normal behavior and while you may feel like you have to own some stuff....or not.....the fact is, that is not the reason they cheated. it's a normal tactic of the unf to minimize their own behavior, and deflect and justify their actions. this six part series which explains the mind of the unfaithful will make more sense out of it for you: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/why-we-commit-betrayal-with-infidelity www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/thought-processes-that-lead-to-affair-and-betrayal-how-could-you-part-two www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/moral-justifications-unfaithful-spouse-uses-to-have-affair www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/infidelity-doublespeak-and-distorted-comparisons www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/betrayal-the-secrecy-factor www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/affair-dehumanization-and-blame
@victorkroud8839
5 жыл бұрын
J Man: I think I could have written the same words you wrote. After my spouse promised to be faithful and find strength in Christ, I still get hammered with, “ I behaved the way I did because this is what I thought then, and I thought you felt Yada yada yada about me so that made it all ok.” If I ask “ But weren’t you justifying your behavior by creating false assumptions?” My spouse answers “yes” but that’s what I thought so you cannot blame me for my behavior ( and so the manipulations and stonewalling continue. ). So I seek counseling, not my spouse. I’m ready to throw in the towel.
@Dawn-tv1bk
5 жыл бұрын
Well said Jman, well said.
@agoodgurl2k
4 жыл бұрын
@@samshealingpodcast It's just all overwhelming and heartbreaking.
@jennifergalvan9697
Жыл бұрын
This a thousand times more!!!!! Same here. I didn't know I was being manipulated, gaslit, punished, cheated on, lied to, controlled, etc. If we had a "communication issue" he chose to say no when I brought up counseling.....then the night I discovered his affair he threatened me to shut up in his tone while denying it, then raged at me spitting how HE was the one always willing to get help while physically shoving me across the house. I didn't even know what projection was and that people were capable of doing it.
@geraldbrown8711
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for these videos! I have struggled with this issue for years. We are both exhausted from the blame game. I'm owning my past mistakes that led to vulnerabilities in our marriage, and my spouse is doing the same! I think we are both truly "getting it" now. Samuel, your video blogs have been a blessing to me!
@mary9012
5 жыл бұрын
This is such an excellent video. I struggled with this for almost 2 years and your video put it all in perspective. I may need to watch it a few times. Thank You.
@samshealingpodcast
5 жыл бұрын
honored i could help you my friend. thanks for the kind words and for posting.
@krispi5192
5 жыл бұрын
Thank Samuel for putting the light on this topic because I was also blamed for the cause of this dysfunctional relationship. I am really feeling the guilt of my weaknesses but this topic opened my thoughts that there is a line between owning my mistakes and their bad decision on crossing that bridge. It freed me up and can now have better communication strategies to encourage my spouse to accept her own weaknesses and hopefully to encourage her to go thru the healing process.
@jensbornagain
Жыл бұрын
I knew we was in a bad place but not that bad. I cried for many years for us to go to consoling but he wouldn’t go. Massive porn issues even though I told him how I felt about it. During pre martial consoling I went over the fact that porn and strippers etc was a no and he agreed. Little did I know the battles ahead he wouldn’t stop. When I found out about his affair it all came out when I had his phone cloned. He never stopped doing the stripper thing he told me he cheated cuz I didn’t respect him or gave him enough attention. It was hard giving attention when all I would get was a 2 min quickly after he watched his porn. And now after mostly everything came out ( I am sure there is a lot more ) I have been in therapy now for 2 years. He refuses to do any work for himself he won’t watch your videos I send him cuz he said all they do is call him a piece of shit. He still lies about the affair won’t come clean the messages say a lot they did but he denies it. I had to own what I did wrong. And it hurt inside. But honestly I didn’t know he needed that cuz he never told me anything. If I wanted to talk to him I would get the silent treatment for weeks. I think it boils down to he never wanted tj be married cuz he didn’t want to give up his secret life. It’s almost over cuz I am not dealing with my issues and his. And him not wanting to do the work for himself tells me he doesn’t want to take accountability and save the marriage.
@michellebarbara7951
4 жыл бұрын
Is it better to fess up? Or better for the spouse to not know so they aren’t hurt. I believe it is an addiction. But as a woman we can still love our husband and our liver
@samshealingpodcast
4 жыл бұрын
it is a tough scenario either way. i would find an expert and consult them about whether to disclose or not. i wouldn't shame you for doing either, but there are many things to consider in the process of choosing my friend.
@junesmom82
5 жыл бұрын
This is such a tough one for me. I hear what you're saying, but I can totally see why I was never good enough for him. His 1st affair was with a very beautiful women. Me, I've never been anything else but to fat and not very beautiful or attractive in the least. He said she was everything he ever wanted in a woman. Thin, big boobs, long hair, beautiful face and body. So how can I blame him for not wanting me? I can see what I look like in the mirror and I completely understand why I don't satisfy his needs. I told him after this 3rd woman that he just needed to go find his happiness because it's not with me. But he wouldn't go. He said his happiness is with me. Now how can that be if he needs these other women to satisfy his needs? I've worked really hard to lose weight and look as beautiful as possible for me. Not an easy thing. But it just doesn't work. He's just plain old not attracted to me. That is my fault in a way. I've failed at losing all the weight as I'm still not thin. So I guess my question is how did I not chase him into the arms of a beautiful attractive skinny woman when all I am is everything that's the opposite?
@samshealingpodcast
5 жыл бұрын
hi mandy. i'm terribly sorry for the pain you're in. i'm also sorry that you're struggling to find the truth in all this. the fact is, you have worth and value and beauty. just because you're struggling to lose weight, not do the improvements you want in life, etc. does NOT in any way justify cheating. though we have weaknesses, that does not in any way mean we deserve to be cheated on my friend. you don't deserve that at all. my friend, i would work to find a professional to help you heal from the trauma you've been subjected to as you've been hurt deeply and need healing and new life. you can get back up and you can heal. please don't believe the lie that you deserve to be cheated on.
@saintejeannedarc9460
2 жыл бұрын
Then why did he choose to marry you if you and your looks weren't enough? He chose you, so he sure can't blame you now for not being what he wanted. You can't blame yourself either. You are likely far more attractive than you can see. You've also provided him w/ a life of support, friendship and partnership that he found worth tying the knot to.
@taniya00700
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks Samuel. My unfaithful spouse lives in a different country for employment reasons. And it becomes all the more difficult for me to understand what could have motivated him do the affair... when I am here all by myslef looking after the kids n guarding the sanctity of our marriage.
@sharathnb
4 жыл бұрын
Oohh.. this is much more difficult situation. My wife still goes to work and comes back home, I'm so restless with just those 10 hours. I can imagine what u must be going through. I hope things are better at ur end
@djcleary-l8q
3 жыл бұрын
I took ownership. He, like you said, all my fault. I told him, it was his choice to do what he’s doing.
@sheenamatthews8230
3 жыл бұрын
Great video!!! Thank you and I love how you just don't go from one religion. You do all of the above!!! Thank you so much. Your videos are helping to save my marriage and help both my WS and myself to reconcile. And helping me to realize my faults throughout the marriage. And that it is not my fault he had an affair! Thank you!!!!
@Bumbledora
Жыл бұрын
My husband's excuse: not enough sex, closeness gone and no love shown from me. I do agree with him in a way, but! He could have talked to me. He had a choice. He made the wrong choice. Short about me: the sex got too seldom because of my autoimmune disease, the closeness went out the window because I have PTSD after abuse in childhood, the love I did show but not enough. So yes, I'm to blame to. But he could have talked to me instead of pretending everything was peachy. I got lost in the woods and that's on me. I've apologise to him and he has finally apologised to me and recognised that we should have talked. It really hurt when he put all the blame on me. Thanks for helping! I needed this video. 🌹💗
@dtorres1104
4 ай бұрын
Although the betrayed didn't cause the betrayer to choose the affair, it's so damn difficult to accept.
@jonellis2134
2 жыл бұрын
There are reasons why they did it, and usually the betrayed has contributed to it in some way. Being able to talk through things with the unfaithful is an eye opener.
@buffuniballer
Жыл бұрын
@@SaystheTruth3 so why doesn't the unfaithful say anything? The first time I heard my unfaithful ex-wife say she was unhappy was when she was leaving to have her affair. Why not say I'm unhappy any of the dozens if not hundreds of times I asked how we were, or while we were on some trip, or out to dinner, or so on? Why do we assume the lack of communication is with the betrayed, especially if he's a man. Things such as, "you should have seen the signs." Or, like my pastor (former pastor now) asked, "What did you do to force her to have an affair?" Sorry, suggesting the choice to have an affair is somehow due to some deficiency on the part of the betrayed is tone deaf at the very least. Sometimes, we are the ones asking. Questions like, "what does your ideal marriage/relationship look like?" or "Was there ever a time where you really felt loved?" Or even something as simple as, "Can we start having an hour each day together with no distractions? No TV, no kids, no phones or computers, you know, like when we were dating?" The "communication" was silence. No yes, no on, just silence. Even asked, what would it take to make that happen? Sorry, from my perspective, it's entirely possible that the unfaithful was unwilling or unable to verbalize what she wanted, but was willing to put the energy into the other man, instead of into her own marriage. All of the above described exchanges were about a year or two before her affair. So it's not like I waited until she left to ask. She was asked the entire 7 years we were together. No clear cut answers. Sometimes, the unfaithful person just engages in magical thinking. I did get a clue once I knew about the affair, she said "If you loved me, you would have known what to do." Meaning, my attempts at communication were interpreted as my not loving her. I wasn't trying to win, I just wanted the losing to stop. Even that was asking too much.
@Bumbledora
Жыл бұрын
@@buffuniballerI agree with you. My husband could have told me he needed more from me. Instead he pretended everything was peachy and found himself a sk*nk. He even took her on a trip I wanted to go on, lied to me about that too. We're mending our marriage and mostly, it's been better. Talked a lot and I do love him. However, he put all the blame on me at first. That was fun to hear like "We hardly had any sex, you didn't show any love" etc. I pretty much ripped him a new one. And sent him videos like this one. Now, he finally admit and apologise that yes, he should have talked to me. He had a choice. He didn't make the right turn. And now I'm in such pain, hurt and trauma that I'm lashing out in crying fits, sometimes screaming etc. But if I don't, I'll explode. And he gets it. I know he loves me, never wanted to leave me. But trust and respect - gone. Forever? I don't know. Hugs from Sweden 🌹
@g-wynn4477
5 жыл бұрын
Excellent! Perhaps your words will reach him. I’ve been saying he “chose” to cheat. The one he should have been talking to all along is me, his spouse. He has yet to be accountable for any of his actions. The evidence I have is enough for life without parole. It’s more than me he cheated on, he cheated our children.
@donnalupton2524
2 жыл бұрын
I don’t get it. Why when you treat someone like they’re the best they step out? And continue to step out. Do they want you or them? Lots of questions. It’s like they have a double life. Well they are living one. Is he staying because I’m the safe option? Why always with married women? This is how we started our relationship so is this payback. Insanity running amuck.
@meganbroad6981
Жыл бұрын
Shedding so much light. Thank you.
@JFBalz
Жыл бұрын
The church talk lost me on this one…
@qcarla13ify
2 жыл бұрын
THANK🤗YOU!!! I DID NOT!!!
@DeconTheMonkey
5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for giving this perspective.
@jonbatt32
4 жыл бұрын
Good.
@maverick4364
4 жыл бұрын
👍
@bw6078
5 жыл бұрын
I wasn't going to watch this due to the beating the WS usually gets in your videos. This video was refreshing. Agreed each affair has a life of it's own. A good marriage is a team affair. Sometimes an affair is a symptom of the split in "The Team" IMO. To bring two injured parties back into and on the same team can be a tall order. Thanks for the video.
@getcholife7053
5 жыл бұрын
BW “beating”?.. What videos have you been watching? Seems to me he simply talks about accountability - for the trauma and pain that are the result of their choices - on the part of the unfaithful. But I understand the truth can seem harsh when one isn’t ready to be held accountable or hold someone else accountable for their destructive actions.
@lindseyjo1759
4 жыл бұрын
It's so funny to me how you can call the cheated on the "betrayed" when being neglectful of one's marriage is absolutely a betrayal and just as bad as, if not worse than having sex with someone else. Too many of these videos and too many people give an "out" to lazy selfish people in relationships. Unseen pain and hurt is just as bad as someone's outward hurt caused by cheating.
@AL_FARID_23
4 жыл бұрын
Lindsey Jo interesting prerogative
@LisaCulton
2 жыл бұрын
I agree. I see the years-long emotional neglect and lack of attention and refusal to communicate as betrayal of the marriage vows.
@saintejeannedarc9460
2 жыл бұрын
No, not even close. All you're doing is justifying cheating. A build up of hurts and slights isn't even in the ballpark of finding out your can't trust your partner and that if they aren't happy enough, they'll go and take it elsewhere. That's incredible entitlement.
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