“Anything good feels like they’re over the moon. Anything bad feels like they’re about to die.” That made me cry.
@avonleamontague2469
Ай бұрын
I feel genuinely surprised when people do thoughtful things for me, even the really ,really small things. It really makes you realize how braced for impact so many of us are.
@ekramyeta5496
3 жыл бұрын
I’m in tears watching this. I have a disorganized attachment style and I’ve been in extremely abusive relationships. I have complex ptsd and this video is exactly me :(
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing and being open with the rest of the community here! You mean alot!
@naomeecreates
3 жыл бұрын
Me too! Within the first 5 minutes I was bawling. It’s like I can finally understand why my life has always been this way and I’ve tried for many years to change it but I’m always so scared of happiness.
@christilynfranklin2104
3 жыл бұрын
Me too friend
@capoeiristachik1
3 жыл бұрын
I also have complex ptsd combined with this. Just starting to discover I also have OCPD. It’s great to find a community!
@HillbillyYEEHAA
Жыл бұрын
Im disorganised with cptsd too. Its odd how different people Act because I've only been in 2 physically abusive relationships and left them after i knew they were abusive. Im tend to push people away too.
@PurpleNymph
3 жыл бұрын
I dated somone with disorganized attachement style. It was very exhausting. He often provoked fights to push me away and actively tried to make me insecure and then expected me to give him reassurance in return. He was very insecure and needy. Sadly, he never acknowledged his toxic behaviors.
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
That is very sad! I hope all is OK with you now!
@capoeiristachik1
3 жыл бұрын
I have disorganized attachment and I am just getting to the place where I notice I am attracted to narcissists. I would love to know how to recover, and how to form healthy relationships. I am starting to feel like I don’t know if it is possible for me to experience love as opposed to love bombing. I would love videos on that. Thank you for sharing this!
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
it is great that you are realizing some hurtful patterns that you can hopefully break!
@wheres_bears1378
3 жыл бұрын
I’ve never seen a psychology video explain things so clearly and succinctly
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you! That is very encouraging!
@helengore7269
2 жыл бұрын
Wow, the first video (of many I've recently watched) that pinpoints how and why I'm stuck in a negative disorganised attachment cycle. I really need to learn how to connect with a different kind of person who isn't manipulative, controlling and devious instead of spending time getting to know these kinds of people only to really know deep down they're not good for me and to reinforce the negative harmful feelings of a lifetime.
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for letting me know the video explains it well. Yes you are spot on!
@jekaniahgeorge6799
2 жыл бұрын
!!!!!!!!! Welcome to my world. But my life is now working for me much better than I ever thought possible. Thank you for the video.
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
Good on you!
@ElyJane
3 жыл бұрын
OMG you have just really put everything into place for me! I am amazed I am still alive! Please make more videos on this attachment style
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for commenting! My apologies for the late reply! Have you been enjoying my videos since?
@jessicamichaels9989
3 жыл бұрын
Omg you literally just helped me understand myself on an entirely new level. I love the way you explain this. I would love to have a one on one with you (if you’re ever available) to ask questions and then also to share my trauma and how I have obsessively worked to understand my own trauma and it has affected all of my relationships. Thank you so much for this video!!!!
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
I am so glad that this was helpful to you Jessica! Please let me know what else you would like to see videos on!
@mysillysuggestionsthatwork2790
2 жыл бұрын
Very enlightening .I am in tears as someone most dear to me is facing the same.Stay blessed
@brittniebelcher3341
3 жыл бұрын
*Sees a cute doctor talking about my attachment style* ok I’m listening
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Haha thank you!
@fannilein8715
3 жыл бұрын
my thoughts exactly :D
@happygucci5094
3 жыл бұрын
☺️👍🏾
@kosar388
Жыл бұрын
Please make vids about healing from childhood trauma abuse neglect and DA and how to start setting boundries cause its hard for me to set them w abusive people (family) and the saddest thing is that i expect abuse from people and i am shocked when someone is good to me not seeing myself worthy of a good treatment and i am really scared from this shit
@almiraahmed2444
Жыл бұрын
Can u pls make a video on how borderline personality disorder is different from disorganized attachment style?
@booksale5
2 жыл бұрын
First, thank you for your time and expertise, and I love your focus above all else, is the actual content, not the editing, lighting, filters, photoshop cover image extremes etc. In fact, I love that the footage is in the raw form and is quite endearing and funny to see you talk to yourself hahaha. There's connection in those little behind the scenes bits that you show the rest of the world so thank you. May I ask if sometime you could, if possible, realizing there might not be an easy answer to put into a video for some of the following, but sharing the timeframe in therapy in which disorg. attach/fearful avoidant move towards a more secure attachment type while concurrently living life, being active in therapy with a therapist they connect well with, and experiencing the reinforcing encounters as detailed in your video despite the reinforcing experiences (i suppose you'd say it's purposefully from subconcious mechanisms, i reckon from random chance) occurring. Also juxtaposing a dismissive avoidant attachment vs NPD in relation to the disorg attach/FA. I feel that all too many times a dismis avoidant is labeled as a scum of the earth narc when in reality they have their own subconscious core wounds which have them appear in the world and that relation in the way they do. So at the end of the day who's really the a8hole? But it's so easy esp on the internet to go down the line of the empath-narc construct and be "that's me and them wah wah," which isn't really empowering but rather feeds self-victimization feelings imho. Personally after I learned about attachment and the other types, a huge change of heart occurred towards my "narc" exes at my ignorance for not understanding how they view love and connection and the self-centered view I had of what love was being impose on another who doesn't have that view nor capacity. Had I known attachment before the empath-narc construct, the trajectory of those relatiohsips would've been vastly different and with a lot less turmoil. Thank you again!
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
Wow OK that is a great idea for a video! I will put something together if I can. It is tricky like you say but can be done maybe. Also, thank you for sharing!
@phoeblie
2 жыл бұрын
@@drsia2323 I would really like to see a video about therapy timeline if you haven't made one yet. I finally found a counselor who genuinely cares and gives me strategies for healing, but I am currently in the middle of rediscovering the whiplash of all the trauma and pain that I buried years ago. I often wonder how long this will last so it would give me hope to hear a timeline from other's experiences. Thank you for your thorough insights and great personality, I am finding out so much about myself & enjoying the process with your videos!
@ThisIsNao
Жыл бұрын
I know this is an old video but thank you! I was really confused with the attachment styles cz I didn't feel like i was purely "anxious attachment". I believe that I'm also dating someone with this same attachment style, and it constantly feels destabilizing the longer we're together. So hopefully with more understanding of this attachment style, things will improve
@MW-uq5oe
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. It is incredibly helpful and enlightening. I would like to learn more about suicide among people with this attachment style. Much gratitude.
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
ohh OK sure. I will make videos about that and release shortly then. expect those videos within a month or so. 🙏🏽
@soulburning2000
3 жыл бұрын
My experience and brief summary. Dad stop crying before I give you something to cry about ....Mom smotherly love bpd personality checked out...recipe for my disorganized attachment. Agree? I'm 30 anx 30avoid.
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for commenting! My apologies for the late reply! Sounds tough, sorry to hear that!
@goddess158
2 жыл бұрын
wow yes this is a very clear summary x its defo the recipe for being disorganised :-(
@liberationslit1836
2 жыл бұрын
I'm just now seeing this. Love your take on this topic. Thank you. I'm wondering if you could describe more in depth the similarities between BPD and disorganized attachment. I believe I have a disorganized attachment style and don't believe I have BPD, but I find that correlation interesting, I've never heard that before. Also in regard to how paranoia relates to DA (disorganized attachment) I'd be interested on your take of Brianna Macwilliam's concept that folks with DA can be highly insightful, sensitive and empathetic, and can often pick up on things like social dynamics and emotional cues that many other people might miss. I ask because many times I notice things that others don't and it can make me to appear paranoid to other folks at times. Not saying that I'm psychic or perfect at it, I've been wrong before and I'll be wrong again, but do consider myself a good judge of character, and feel unfairly misjudged at times for insights I express that other people couldn't relate to in those moments. One last thing. I'm curious to here your opinion on any possible correlations between AD/HD and susceptibility to DA. I'm wondering if some neurodivergent folks may be more at a higher risk for developing a disorganized attachment style than neruo'typical' people. Thank you☯️
@drsia2323
Жыл бұрын
My apologies for missing this comment. I will make videos to answer these questions very soon. Thank you for taking the time!
@universaltruth2025
Жыл бұрын
Perfect description of my childhood (and my life) thank you. I hate this attachment style.
@beautytechniek8917
4 жыл бұрын
Forgiving disorganized attachment people probably also avoid high neurotic people because they never forgive, even when they are responsible. Relational transgression says that neurotic people punish unfairly to give you disadvantage. And the neurotic laugh to humiliate others. Some people have a real vulnerability, it is not imagined. Some illnesses people have developed later in life, can also lead to a change of attachment style. It is very common. I know 1 old lady and she was married and had a secure attachment style. But then she got Ideamotor aprexia, slow inhibitary control, and her attachment style changed. Her husband divorced her. But before she got that disease, she was very nice and pleasant.
@drsia2323
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, super of you to comment! What a great addition!
@aneelaasghar5666
2 жыл бұрын
This video was a real breakthrough for me. Thank you so much!
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
My pleasure! Thank you for commenting!
@HuesYourMues
3 жыл бұрын
Make more videos just like this!!!! Keep it up.
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
thank you I will!
@starrr3760
3 жыл бұрын
It feels like you’ve actually described me. I think I should bring this up in therapy..
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
That sounds like a sound idea!
@lincris10
2 жыл бұрын
I kept doing this, and my therapist always dismissed it. I feel this is key for my healing.
@user-ym9ji4vn5d
6 ай бұрын
what the hell it's like you analyzed my brain and articulated it into words 😭😭
@Liankirry
Жыл бұрын
BPD is more common with anxious attachment style, not disorganized, from what I understand. Desorganized, especially leaning avoidant, tends to have complex PTSD more often. Interesting video!
@sapnapandey5922
Ай бұрын
Please make more videos on Disorganised attachments style also i want to ask how to break the anxious and avoidant cycle?
@sunbeam9222
Жыл бұрын
Right. The world manifests what you believe it's made of. If we believe people are bad, untrustworthy, that's what we will walk straight into. It's paramount to make peace with the world and re wire our beliefs system in order to find peace. And manifest peaceful interactions with others. Not everyone is out there to get you. Quite the opposite. I just dated someone with disorganised attachment style. I would go from love of their life to enemy number 1 in the flash of an instant. Really interesting to understand why that was now. Thank you.
@irum9264
4 жыл бұрын
Haha this was a great video! If you could do a video on how to cure disorganised attachment, I’d be really grateful ☺️
@drsia2323
4 жыл бұрын
Sure! That is a great idea for a video! Thank you for your support!
@OpticMoos
3 жыл бұрын
@@drsia2323 Hows it going? ;) Great stuff man. Thanks a lot!
@critter_paws
Жыл бұрын
Hey doc 👋 I'm just learning that I have a DA style and I feel like I'm on the truman show. I've been obsessibly learning everything that I can for about a week now. It blows my mind that I've always had these little phrases that are almost part of the "hello" when i meet a new person and are about just things ppl seem to find odd about me in particular and noone has ever related but now it feels like someone had been writing a book about all these little "idiosyncrasies" of mine and the details of my life. Anyway, there's one aspect that I've looked for, not support but a group, studies, something/one to connect to about having rarely been allowed out of my bedroom and also sent to detention centers growing up. Basically, a ton of isolation. I guess that's the main thing that, at this point in my life and after finding all of these other missing pieces about myself in attachment theory, I'm still finding myself short on anyone to learn from or relate to in this. I feel like It can't be that rare, and I'm wondering if that's something you've seen from other DAs? Or at all in practice? Anything.. ?
@drsia2323
Жыл бұрын
I am sorry about your experience and hope you feel seen and heard very soon. Yes I have heard of this. Many times. If you want to organize a session with me to discuss this even as a one off session, look me up on www.attachpsychology.com.au
@critter_paws
Жыл бұрын
@drsia2323 oh ty you so much. It's really great that you get back with us like this. Wouldn't have expected it but you got a question I had yesterday on another video as well. You are appreciated so much. I just learned about the manipulation we do today and it's like my world view broke realizing that I've been doing that unconsciously my whole life. This is all such important information and so incredibly needed. I will definitely check into setting up an appt. Thx again and much love healer man
@critter_paws
4 ай бұрын
Oh my gosh I feel so silly. I've still been doing the above mentioned stuff, full focus work, and come back to your videos sporadically. I came today to ask if there's a way we can work together 😅 that's something I'm finding as well is that my memory of interactions, kindly stated, isn't great. So, awesome! I'm gonna be clicking that link after dropping this comment
@critter_paws
4 ай бұрын
Actually wanna add for anyone coming to these realizations that might look in the comments, for me it takes a long time for me to realize anyone is hurting me bc I straight up block it out unconsciously. Then at some point I'm in full crisis and get some memories back into my conscious awareness spontaneously or read journal entries that I have no recollection of writing in the first place. I keep lots of notes these days and put them somewhere I will stumble back across them hopefully before crisis. I even add key words to contact info on my phone to trigger memories
@SSSweetPeach
Жыл бұрын
Ouch. Truth hurts
@torilyn7181
3 жыл бұрын
Can someone with disorganized attachment ever trust their gut instincts? For instance, if someone contradicts themselves and starts acting differently, how would the disorganized attachment know if their instincts to distrust this person are correct or if they are crazy and making things up in their head? This is what's happening to me and I'm questioning my perception of reality.
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
That is a great question! Typically, the disorganized attachment forces its own lense on the person and it becomes difficult to determine where the attachment begins and the person ends. ISTDP is a therapy designed to help people do just that. Tell what is what and who is who and help you see the difference. But in short, the gut instinct of a person with a disorganised attachment tends to bring them closer to not further away from harm. I hope this makes sense.
@torilyn7181
3 жыл бұрын
@@drsia2323 it does make sense. I know that my attachment style has made me hypervigilant and it doesn't help that my past relationships have been somewhat traumatic in some way or another. Now, with my current partner, I notice every single thing that changes with him and any time he contradicts himself. I try to ignore the gut reaction, but its very difficult. He also has disorganized attachment.
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
@@torilyn7181 🙏🏼
@niktendo2000
Жыл бұрын
You can trust your gut instinct pretty much 100% of the time. Whatever your gut is telling you DO THE OPPOSITE!
@marlaka4602
7 ай бұрын
Thanks, you give a new perspective on this attachment with which I can relate to. I began lately to think that I healed a lot. So I ask myself : have I really a disorganized attachment ? And can we have it in different degrees ? Also, the most difficult thing for me is to know if I can trust. I began to trust more and more close people into my life. But I somehow have difficulties to trust friends (if they will abandoned me at some point, if I am not useful anymore, that's harsh haha). And also, it as been 3 years since my last love relationship, and I would love to be in love again. When I think about it my fears come back, like if I am capable of being in this kind of relationships.
@clairrowarth4710
3 жыл бұрын
Hahaha your really funny and every time your face pops up on my screen i'm going to giggle Oh and you talk a lot of sense also Dr Sai so i'll keep watching ;-) xxxx
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! That means a lot!
@ebbenielsen7
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, what videos could you make? What about: - Many people learn about and become wiser about their attachment pattern; and can, among other things, see danger signals when they date, or in their starting relationship. That way, many people know which people they should not establish themselves with and which people are potentially far better for them. So far so good. Several of these still experience that they are not really attracted to the "healthy" people, but only to the "unhealthy". How can one learn to experience the attraction to the "healthy" when one's instincts (attachment pattern) would rather have the others? It's a bit like how do you learn to like broccoli more than french fries? - Often, when you read about - or watch videos about - attachment patterns, it very easily becomes quite square as in either you are the one, second, third or fourth. But in reality, it is probably not always as clear and categorically understood, among other things, as that some are far across the spectrum with a pattern, while others may be almost a mixture. In addition, one's pattern may well also vary more or less depending on one's relationship and including the other's attachment pattern. I wonder if you could not make a good video with these nuances and variations within the attachment patterns?
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for commenting! My apologies for the late reply! Understanding nuances is extremely difficult and really a matter of extreme expertise. I will try to make videos to convey my experience of this in some future video. Thank you for commenting! My apologies for the late reply!
@ebbenielsen7
3 жыл бұрын
@@drsia2323 Looking forward to that. And I'm just grateful that you answer so competently. As the saying goes: Better late than never.
@jessikaascencio1962
4 жыл бұрын
This is very good, thanks for sharing Would you be able to share techniques for overcoming and healing from this attachment style?
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Sure will! 🙏🏼
@LouisaWatt
3 жыл бұрын
So glad to find your channel, it’s hard to find reliable information
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
happy to have you here! thank you for commenting! My apologies for the late reply!
@lenoremcintyre4205
3 жыл бұрын
Hi Dr Sia, maybe you could discuss how to work w disorganised attachment style in therapy. Thanks!
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
That is a great Idea! My apologies for the late reply
@patrickwontor2061
Жыл бұрын
Everything made sense besides the part where unscrupulous people (manipulators) fly under the DisOrgs radar and allow themselves to be manipulated. My radar pings a gnat so I rarely experience that. Too on-guard
@beckyoconnor0302
3 жыл бұрын
Do you have or could you make some videos about dissociative identity disorder? Thanks!
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
I don't have a video about this! I will make one for sure! 🙏🏼
@laluna424
4 жыл бұрын
Also can you make a video about dismissive avoidant and disorganised attachment relationship? Would it work or how to make it work? As a disorganised attachment all my relationships are with dismissive avoidant people. Intense n short. It's recent that I learnt about these attachment styles it's helpful. Thank u
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Great idea for a video!
@ahmedabdelrahim4497
2 жыл бұрын
How to heal from disorganised attachment...i can't keep a stable relationship or having a peace of mind
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
I think I have a video on this out already. Have a look through what to do about my attachment videos I have.
@yodasan4681
3 жыл бұрын
CAN YOU TALK ABOUT the best way for 2 avoidants to approach starting a relationship together? We’re both FA and constantly triggering each others trust wounds. I feel like there could be something great between us, but it’s new and such a rollercoaster trying to learn to trust someone that I know may hurt me in the ways that I’ve accidentally hurt people in the past.
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
what a difficult thing to do. I think the best place to start is with yourself. If you can model safe attachment that is the best chance you will ever have at functional love. I hope that makes sense and I apologize for the late reply.
@sunbeam9222
Жыл бұрын
Everyone hurt everyone, it's part of human interactions. The point is not to avoid bring hurt, it's to become comfortable with our abilities to handle and grow from it.
@cyngeorge8611
Жыл бұрын
i have disorganized attachment and all i can say is wow the more you know right.... i made some big moves in 2020... moved 3k away from everyone and started working at home and im single for 2 yrs now.... and i started to feel like i have some peace and then.... when u said in one of your videos when there is nothing triggering thats when i start to feel regulated lol here i thought i made a break through ... nope.. turns out just another door of disorganized attachment ... i also have BPD PTSD and working on alot on healing inner child stuff... any mental exercises or workbooks ud recommend to help disorganized attachments?
@sunbeam9222
Жыл бұрын
Check EFT
@universaltruth2025
Жыл бұрын
Yes it sucks that the only time we feel regulated is when we’re by ourselves! I am married to a DA with 3 children and there is not much alone time at all which I really need to re-regulate. Mainly from my DA partner tbh, my children don’t dysregulate me that much. He does simply by being in the same room.
@michaelstevens9109
2 ай бұрын
Sounds Very similar to traits of Cluster B personality Disorders NPD/BPD... worst rollercoaster I have ever been on :(
@veralubimoff6291
Жыл бұрын
can you make a vid about disorganised attachment and situationships please?
@AJ22-80
2 жыл бұрын
Paranoia is an unrealistic distrust, of believing that people will harm them but with no basis in reality. The fear of connecting with people in disorganized attachment is caused because people that mattered DID harm them leading to the fear that if the people who loved him could hurt him, what can he possibly expect of those who dont love him.
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
Wow what an important addition to explain what happened for these individuals early in life. Thank you for commenting. Also, I will try to check myself more. Never hurts to review what you think you know IMO.
@AJ22-80
2 жыл бұрын
That was a gracious response to my aggitated comment (which I've edited) I appreciate that. But gonna keep an eye on you 🤨
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
@@AJ22-80 Hahaha please do! I'll keep an eye on me too.
@dodo3366
3 жыл бұрын
thats me definitely
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
thank you for commenting! My apologies for the late reply!
@lindadunn8787
4 жыл бұрын
I heard you ask for specific requests. So? Will replay the video attending to my dissatisfaction level, inquiring of myself, what do I want? What is lacking? Lacking knowledge of the unknown with acceptance, frustration, disinterest, envy? To please you? No. To learn. Thank you. And if you are pleased or if you learn, too, ok. Again, thank you.
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
thank you for commenting Linda!
@shahilagh
Жыл бұрын
Ppl are so complex to put them all in these categories. I say that because not all these extreme descriptions are the case for DA… some of them are true but not all and it is unkind to speak with extremes. A person with attachment issues who have been abandoned often have difficulty connecting to their therapist too. Isn’t it? A good therapist should bring this up because the person feels shame to bring it up but many therapists don’t and the patient can leave
@zaratala
Жыл бұрын
Hi Dr Sia, I'm new to your channel and have been benefitting from it quite a lot! Thanks for sharing all this! Wondering what your instagram hold is? Wasnt able to find you. 😊
@darlingdeviant
3 жыл бұрын
Any tips for a relationship between a person with disorganized attachment and the other with anxious attachment? I’m surprised we’ve made it almost 5 years. It’s been a very rocky road and now I’m doing my shadow work. Trying to help myself and our relationship.
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for reaching out! My tips are that you keep working on you and trust that doing so will guide you to the best possible outcome you can have in your relationships. Working on ourselves is something we benefit from doing our entire lives. So what do you say to someone doing a seemingly good job like yourself? Well... Good job!
@kaniapaulas899
4 жыл бұрын
How to heal from disorganized attachment?
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Excellent! 🙏🏼
@andreahoyosl
2 күн бұрын
Me siento muy identificada. Quisiera saber las mejores estrategias para sanar. Siento que solo me atraen narcisistas y a la gente buena la repudio. Ayuda. También hay un tema que escuché: que las personas con apego desorganizado tienen fijación con el sexo oral. Es cierto?
@kekiir
Жыл бұрын
So I'm quite sure that I have a disorganised attachment style. In the last years it made me just pure suffering. I was cheated on several times (the last time just 10 days ago...), I had girlfriends who just leave me suddenly, I think that I cannot love and care a partner just as their needs require and so on. So, may be you have other videos about how to heal from this or cope with this or change this attachment style? Be cause, I have no self-worth from inside, just from out side, and I'm already 31 years old, and yet have not started to get bald, and this year at a shop my ID card was asked for age check, but I'm running out of humor to accept my self and other tools to cope with my life. Because yes it happened to me, that someone was approaching me with too much kindness, and instantly I was like: "Hey why the fuck you are so kind? Are you want something from me? Or manipulating me? And I'm really mistrustful of people.
@kekiir
Жыл бұрын
OK I find it: kzitem.info/news/bejne/2p2nzIqJnGqLYKg
@cabinmusic6717
3 жыл бұрын
Can people with disorganized attachment become verbal and emotional abusers? If they’ve spent most of their lives being abused in all sorts of ways, will they use abuse themselves as a preemptive defense mechanism? Or will they do this to create a trauma bond if that’s the only way they’ve ever experienced bonding and connection?
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Great questions. My answer to all of your questions is that yes any one of those patterns are possible and many more. People with disorganized attachment also sometimes end up hurting nobody but themselves or the hurting that they experience from childhood never stops as a function of family and society structure. It gets very hurtful.
@abennett0695
3 жыл бұрын
You broached the topic of self criticism in disorganized attachment in another video and I would love to learn some strategies to be able to do the healthy things without self criticism and freezing up, please
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
The best place to start is figuring out the real function of self criticism for you. Ones you truly understand that it does nothing but hurt you, you are well on your way to stopping it in the future.
@daniellec4728
Жыл бұрын
I can't emotionally handle any disappointment at all and if I have it, I run from the relationship only to try and go right back and do it again. In that moment im fleeing for safety and control ...but have come to realize I can't handle any discomfort in a relationship at all. How does someone become comfortable in such an emotionally uncomfortable state and come to know disagreement and some emotional let down can occur in a relationship at times.
@soheilgharib8345
Жыл бұрын
Are you iranian? Video was very helpful, thank you
@melissalocklear6213
3 жыл бұрын
How can an honest loving person reach a disorganized attachment person?
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for commenting! My apologies for the late reply! very difficult to do, I'd therapy is available that would be their best chance.
@DarenHarmon
4 жыл бұрын
So what about do you do about “needing” a relationship with a girl, and as soon as you have her, you become distant?
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for commenting! Have you looked into my avoidant attachmemt videos? Anything there resonate for you?
@MellowBellow1
3 жыл бұрын
Try really hard to not to distant. Notice it and do the opposite. Then you’ll see the other side and née synaptic paths will be formed.
@whiterobin01
2 жыл бұрын
I'm madly in love with a DIsorganized attachment partner in an off/on relationship for almost 4 years. I'm really trying to be very understanding of what he must be going through. I would like to know your thoughts on what a partner can do to support someone with DA.
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
I have a video about that I think. Wow I cannot remember what it is called though. Let me know if you find out and I will do the same.
@happygucci5094
2 жыл бұрын
Can you have two attachment styles? Or can specific situations trigger your disorganized attachment style? I relate to both ambivalent attachment- predominantly and disorganized attachment when in comes to romantic relationships.
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
If it is Ambivalent and disorgansed it is disorganised.
@jprince3
3 жыл бұрын
Can you discuss working through disorganized attachment?
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
That is a great idea Jacob. Would you like to see a video on that?
@jprince3
3 жыл бұрын
@@drsia2323 please!
@laluna424
4 жыл бұрын
I just found your channel awsome content @ Dr sia. Could you please tell me y a disorganised attachment gets attached to a dismissive avaoidant??
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Because they same stable. Stability is confused with avoidance. Does that make sense?
@laluna424
3 жыл бұрын
@@drsia2323 no m confused still hahaha. How is it possible for an avoidant to get attracted to another avoidant shouldn't attraction be towards AP's?
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
@@laluna424 typically people of the same attachment get with each other. Research is pretty clear on that. Sometimes people with different attachments get attracted to each other and the patterns they bring with them interfere and cause problems. Perhaps I should make videos abou this stuff to clear it up?
@laluna424
3 жыл бұрын
@@drsia2323 yes please. Would love to see ur guidance on this. But I am FA though I always had a pattern of attracting DA's.
@no1zzle3
3 жыл бұрын
What is the connection between complete lack of sex with the FA? My ex never wanted to have sex with me.
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Floor avoidant attachment there is often distance emotionally that exacerbates and reveals itself sexually if that makes sense. I hope that makes sense and I apologies for the late reply.
@chaim6768
Жыл бұрын
What can a mother with disorganized attachment not pass it in to her child?
@SuperAced
4 жыл бұрын
How do you turn disorganized attachment off?
@drsia2323
4 жыл бұрын
I do not think you can turn it off as much as work on the patterns underneath it so that you can begin to undo the automatic nature of things and rewire a more manual process! I hope that makes sense!
@SuperAced
4 жыл бұрын
@@drsia2323 it does thank you 🙂
@marka.9202
4 жыл бұрын
how many sub categories of attachment are there? Thank you for another great video
@drsia2323
4 жыл бұрын
Most people would say 4 but actually there is 5.
@cv5281
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you again for your informative videos! So what are the sub categories? Does that mean attachment styles could overlap?
@ComradeFromRhody401
2 жыл бұрын
@@drsia2323 what’s the 5th attachment style?
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
@@ComradeFromRhody401 I will make a video about this later in the year!
@sashakor9889
2 жыл бұрын
Hi! Can i read more about
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
I think you text got cut off
@volcomchick4989
10 ай бұрын
This is me… I don’t know how to heal…
@Ella79537
4 ай бұрын
How to deal this please?
@heavenlygraham7701
3 жыл бұрын
How do you heal from Disorganized Attachment
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Ia releasing a video about this soon Heavenly! Thank you for asking!
@ernesthill1994
3 жыл бұрын
How can we achieve secure attachment?
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Aboslutely, this is called earned secure attachment. It means the person was not given secure attachment as a child but rather works towards and achieves this as an adult (typically through therapy).
@DrexelGregory
2 жыл бұрын
How can someone of truly good will get close to someone with this?
@drsia2323
2 жыл бұрын
Chances are low but it does happen. The reasons could be infinite.
@pinchecarlos11
3 жыл бұрын
You nailed it! Sigh. :( Great video!
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for commenting! My apologies for the late reply! Thank you kindly!
@pinchecarlos11
3 жыл бұрын
@@drsia2323 Oh don't even worry! I never check my notifications haha. Just wanted to show my appreciation for your video. :) Take care!
@user-vh3gn3xq7s
5 ай бұрын
Can we actually heal from this? Im tired of my own life.
@Silver-fd1jo
3 жыл бұрын
Can you talk on soft coded schizophrenia?
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
yes I can and should! sorry for the late reply!
@ernesthill1994
3 жыл бұрын
How to stop being disorganized?
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
Great question Ernest! There are a group of therapies such as ISTDP, Schema Therapy, and DBT that can help with disorganised attachment.
@ernesthill1994
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks 😍
@fourthmoondance
3 жыл бұрын
I’d stay home and watch your face all day!
@drsia2323
3 жыл бұрын
thank you for your support Joy
@kosar388
Жыл бұрын
You already scared us more dr when u said criminals can get into .... 😂
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