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All we see everyday on our social media feeds, television, and ads is perfect bodies, perfect lives, perfect people, it is natural that we want to be like them too… we want to be perfect ! But what if I tell you our constant need to be perfect is what is holding us back in our life? What if ditching perfectionism is the only way you can be happy?
What is perfectionism
Perfectionism is defined as the refusal to accept anything short of perfect… According to Brene Brown - perfectionism is a 20 pound shield we carry around thinking that it will protect us… while perfectionism is something which makes us exposed to amazing possibilities and helps us imagine great outcomes, it can also be something which is stopping us from taking the necessary action and holding us back!
Anything less than perfect is deemed as a failure in the present world of social media, perfect smiles, perfect bodies, perfect lives, but this kind of thinking is leading us to look at things in a black and white way…ie something is either perfect or waste completely, nothing in between.
According to Petra kobler the author of the perfection detox (2018)
“Perfectionists strive to be flawless, and they see their mistakes as a character flaw. It is not even they made a mistake; it is that they are the mistake. Even the perfect moments have no joy because they are never quite perfect enough.”
This is the sad reality of a lot of us, either perfection or nothing and if something isn't perfect it is not the fault of the situation, or anything else but we are defective! While everyone else is capable of having perfect lives, perfect bodies , perfect everything , i am the one who is flawed ! I am the one who is good for nothing… ! this is how we think… and when we are putting ourselves in this constant pressure to be perfect and like everyone else we are missing out on life itself! And failing in a lot of ways…
I had a friend in school who was good at studies, great at everything, so her parents expected more from her and joined her in every possible coaching there was, but she didn't crack any of those exams amd this made her feel as if she wasn't good at studies, impacting hr mental health, leading to grades plummeting, mental breakdowns depression and everything unnecessary…. There is no harm in trying to be perfect and trying to work towards it, but the all or none approach towards perfectionism is the problem. This kind of perfectionism can be harmful because it is fake and there is no room for failure…!
Social psychologist Thomas Curran says the pressure to be perfect-in our social media feeds, work, and school-shows up in three different ways: self-oriented perfectionism or an unrealistic expectation of perfection from one’s self, other-oriented perfectionism or the demand of perfection from others, and socially prescribed perfectionism or the feeling that others expect perfection from us.
Always make room for improvement and growth- even if you think it's not going to be perfect, when you start doing the work, you'll end up completing a task rather than waiting for the perfect time, perfect way to complete it or some other perfect situation to start it!
This will help you make room for improvement and growth.
Make mistakes:
When you make mistakes deliberately and dont try to correct them, it can help you leave your perfectionist mindset… in a presentation or an email, put a comma in a place where it isnt necessary and youll be surprised how a small comma doesnt impact or undermine the whole presentation or the message you are sending through your email, same way when you make a mistake , instead of looking at yourself as a failure, accepting them and trying to learn from them will help you overcome the perfectionist mindset
Be open to change:
The thing about perfectionism is, a small deviation from the plan makes us upset and makes us think that all our efforts have been wasted! Being more open to change, and seeing possibilities when you face a setback, thinking about how you can use the existing situations to go further can help you get over your perfectionist mindset…
But The idea of perfectionism is in our misunderstanding of what it actually means to be perfect…in fact in greek the word perfect means to be complete r to achieve its purpose.we often associate perfectionism with flawlessness, uniqueness or to be free from blemishes but if we adopt the other meaning of perfect ie to be complete/ achieve our purpose ,we can shift our perspective about perfectionism,and approach to perfectionism.
Music: Remember
Musician: @iksonmusic
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